Thursday, January 8, 2009

Upgrade City

We're moving our operation away from Blogspot.
Next-generation blog programs are popping up on the internet, and we got the right offer at the right time.

The most appealing part of Blogspot for us is its simplicity. No crazy bullshit going on.
But the community that has formed here has simply outgrown it.
We thank Blogspot for everything, like they care.

The site we're moving to gives us exactly what we've been looking for, as far as enriching content while keeping it as barebones as possible.

When the Welcome mat is laid out at the new site, we will have tutorials and shit ready to make the transition as seamless as possible.
But honestly, spending 20 minutes clicking around the new site will be self-explanatory.

We are planning for the new site to be ready to roll this upcoming weekend, so we are going to be busy, because you know we never get stuff done on time.
In a perfect world, we will have a going-away party Friday night here.

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

We base our entire lives around the movie Apollo 13.
So right now, we're double-checking gimble conversions before we move the guidance computer from Command Module Blogspot to the Lunar Excursion Module.

We have to stray from the script a little bit and jettison the command module instead of the LEM.
Not really. This site and its archives will always be here.
And there will be no re-entry. And we won't be freezing our balls off.
And we won't contract urinary-tract infections.

And the LEM didn't have a new upgraded yet simple Comments section.

The LEM didn't make the astronauts alter their questionable content.
And neither will the new site.


All systems go, homos.


soon.

221 comments:

TheFandangler said...

Bring it.

Fags.

Pensblog Staff said...

woooo

The Pittsburgh Sportsblog said...

Do it, Bob Dylan...

Come gather 'round people
Wherever you roam
And admit that the waters
Around you have grown
And accept it that soon
You'll be drenched to the bone.
If your time to you
Is worth savin'
Then you better start swimmin'
Or you'll sink like a stone
For the times they are a-changin'.

TheFandangler said...

It's a shame Bob Dylan isn't dead yet.

Lets just say time isn't on his side.

mikey said...

will the new site have glitter graphics....homos

mikey said...

congrats on the move though, hope shit goes smooth and works out

BlacknGold66 said...

Did you gaybirds run this non-hockey post through Josh_Pens before publishing??

jefe p said...

im moving out this weekend also. so i feel your pain. dont get lost and dont fuck this up now.

[give a hoot, dont pollute]

Rage said...

@staff-do yinz sleep?

Matt Gajtka said...

Congrats on the move! Can't wait for the new home...maybe that will help change the bad karma that's been surrounding this team. Can't hurt.

Speaking of karma, we need to leave the last post with 68 comments forever.

Matt said...

Let's say Dupes and Tenk are out tonight.

Who plays on Sid's line? Who replaces Fedotenko, who was for many games one of the only bright spots?

I say, Sabourin on Malkin's line and a box of condoms on Sid's (it will get the hat trick, bank on it).

T J said...

How about the gameday start, fags?

I dare you to find a better fake tan at the Igloo.

Ron Jeremy? Phil Collins? Please.

I nailed both of their moms at one show.

Sam's dog said...

the past 36 hours of cblog have been some of the funniest shit I have read in a while.
Keep on carrot blogging!

Rage said...

Jesus says orange, greasy 70s Tom Jones is all teh sexxx

btumpak said...

carrots. unreal.

go pens

dying alive said...

Darren McCord for game day starter.

Matt said...

If we're going with the carrot theme...

Derp Dee Derp

Whistler said...

Commit to the Carrot!

Steve In Denver said...

What sort of housewarming gift do you get for a blog?

A picture of a plant?

And just what did happen to our old pal Ruutu? Maybe it's those creepy nerd Avery glasses? I'm never trusting anyone that wears that kind of eyewear.

P.O. said...

BREAKING NEWS... LOCATION OF NEW PENSBLOG SITE LOCATED..

apparently thepensblog.blogspot.com will now operate out of "The Pittsburgh Club" in the Strip District

WOOOOOOOOOOOO

Rage said...

Complete with ORANGE STRIPPERS

Matt said...

@Steve- I'm sure Ottawa brings out the worst in him

wilsmith said...

all of the game-day starters need to be benched for a couple games.

P.O. said...

for those not living in the greater Pittsburgh area, please copy and paste the below link for clarification on "Club Pittsburgh"


http://www.post-gazette.com/pg/09007/940070-53.stm

Rage said...

@p.o.-like i said orange uhhh GAY strippers...dick

Rage said...

and thanks for the clarification (I think). I may need a shower after reading that..."the go-go boys are a big no-no here"

Victor Raison said...

"I read the law to them," Mr. Shields said. He said the sale of items probably wasn't a big problem, but "the go-go boys are a big no-no here ... And then they said they'd go to Yarone."

That would've been a deal breaker for the staff, I think.

The Goon Blogger said...

All systems go!
Soon the world will know!
The fury of attack!
Feel the wrath of the Super Rad!

Staff, we follow you to the edge of the earth. Do it.

Matt said...

Goon Blogger, plus one million points for Aquabats lyrics.

Pool Party ftw

kstewy16 said...

Ovechkins a cutter.

He uses his lucky scissors.

Douche.

brett said...

Put Minard and Peso on Crosby's wing. Win.

kstewy16 said...

According to the Pens website Dupers and Fedex are both in the lineup. Lines appear to be the same as last game, but I might be off a player or 2.

Aubrey said...

gameday needs to go to the carrot...i think she was the deciding factor in the win the other night...

congrats on the new site, staff! can't wait to have uncensored city.

Kierstan said...

Holy hell, cblog, y'all have been on fire the last few days! It sucks missing out on all of that with working overnights, but you sure make my mornings more interesting when I get home.

That, and my new Facebook addiction. Yeah I'm behind the times, who cares.

jovi said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
I R A Darth Aggie said...

Just remember: failure is not an option.

Kimberly said...

One of them said we made going
to the moon about as exciting as
taking a trip to Pittsburgh.


[watchingappollo13nowblog]

jovi said...

the pic on the post website of Fedex and colby fighting is so funny. its the players in the background that crack me up. that was the same face i was making when they announced who was fighting.

Fedex, really? WOW. Little-stawberry balls of steel.

Beav said...

The worst part of that picture is Satan. Just sitting there with a little half smile. Come on man get excited. Feds just one punched a guy. I'd be ready to hit everything in sight after that.

Rage said...

http://penguins.nhl.com/team/app/?service=page&page=NewsPage&articleid=402856

Rage said...

wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

let the staal hate begin!!! FOUR MORE YEARS, FOUR MORE YEARS!!!!

Victor Raison said...

Well, on the bright side, that keeps the Pens in clean clothes for four more years.

M. Vanderlasser said...

Yay!

"The Pittsburgh Penguins have agreed to terms with center Jordan Staal on a new four-year contract, it was announced today by Executive Vice President and General Manager Ray Shero.

The new contract goes into effect at the start of the 2009-10 season and will run through 2012-13. Staal, 20, will play the remainder of this season under the terms of his entry-level contract. He has played 204 games with the Penguins over three NHL seasons, scoring 52 goals and 39 assists for 91 points, along with 98 penalty minutes."

P.S. Carrie Milbank is a whore!

Rage said...

Livers all over the greater Pittsburgh area are beginning to beg for mercy as 4 years of the Staal Bros. drinking game will undoubtedly increase severe liver damage.....

gilette212 said...

i'd like to hear some numbers on the deal though

Allison said...

Haha rage- I am almost ashamed that I did not immediatly groan for my liver when I read that lol. I wasn't expecting this deal, its a decent way to start my day.

christina said...

WOOOOOO!!!!! 4 more years of the Staal Bros. Drinking Game!!!

I'd love to know the #s too...

Rage said...

I like the signing for the Pens.

I'm sure that Staal, like all the other players who hate HCMT so much, had to be way overpaid to stay in Pittsburgh. Just like Ryan Malo...wait..what?

No?

christina said...

I agree, Rage. I love Staal's defensive game.

wilsmith said...

Someday we'll get that winger.


some day....

brett said...

A strange time to come to a contract agreement, no?

mikey said...

KEEP THE CORE INTACT!!!!!!!!!!!!

THE CORE!!!!!!!!!

holygoligoski said...

Staal signed for $16 mill.


According to TSN.

christina said...

4 yr, 16 mil contract according to TSN.

dying alive said...

I'm happy about the Staal signing, unless it's for ridiculous money. Two seasons from now, all of the haters will be on the Staal bandwagon. Mark it down.

I guess all of the crap about Staal not signing because he hates Therrien was just as true as the stuff about Orpik refusing to sign because he hates Therrien.

Dr. Turkleton said...

by signing Staal....

makes it easier to:

[Trade Staal]


wilsmith...

I think that winger is a lot closer with this recent development...

kstewy16 said...

I've got no problem with the signing as long as he doesn't blow the big one for 4 years.
So far this season though, his defensive play has been substandard, and he started off decent offensively, but can't hit the broadside of a barn lately.

But as long as its not too much money and he continues to progress, good signing.

Rage said...

I was thinking the same thing d.a.

dying alive said...

$4M/year doesn't seem too outrageous to me considering the outrageously bloated salaries these days and the fact that at 20 years old he is still nowhere near his prime, nor nowhere near a bust.

Rage said...

@dr turkleton-you been hanging out at TIOPS with the eklund crowd?

dying alive said...

* nor anywhere near a bust.

Hooked on Phonics continues to work for me.

Rage said...

Case in point:

"Pika
Staal's trade worth just doubled now that he is locked up for 4.5 years now... Team doesnt have to worry about trying to re-sign him."

kstewy16 said...

Fleury didn't make the ASG. Oh well, he didn't really deserve it anyway.

Raybin said...

I've been on the Staal wagon and have remained on it, though I've been perilously close to falling off of it lately.

Still...I'm content. We've got a solid defensive center who hasn't even come close to approaching his prime.

Though with Staal locked up, I don't know who else the Pens could reasonably dangle as bait for a winger for Sid. But whatev, In Shero I Trust remains my motto as always.

slush said...

I dont understand the Staal hate. Why do we want to get rid of him??

Explain would ya!?

Raybin said...

Staal's trade worth just doubled now that he is locked up for 4.5 years now... Team doesnt have to worry about trying to re-sign him

This is very true. And the fact that it never occured to me shows why no one should really ever take my opinions on hockey seriously. (Assuming anyone does already)

Get us that winger!

[Hossa]

Matt said...

Way better than getting outbid by the Thrashers for $6.5 mil a year, then watching him become a scoring machine on Kovalchuk's line.

Serena and Chuck said...

Beav, Satan seems like the old, soft guy who's uninspired by everything. I remember when he was putting in good goals at the beginning of the season and he wouldn't even have a goal celebration. It was weird. I think playing for the NY Islanders hardened his emotional side.

BlacknGold66 said...

Turk that's the exact same thing I was thinking when I read that.

Don't go buying those Staal jersey's too quickly folks...

...just in case.


And THANK GOD Flower didn't make the ASG. The last thing I want is our goaltender going to face elite forwards facing zero defense.

Dr. Turkleton said...

rage...

you have to admit a Staal under contract would be easier to deal than a UFA Staal, no?

Not that I dislike Staal...but, I think someone like a Nathan Horton [who is signed at 4M per year 2012-13, BTW] would suit the Pens needs better than paying a 3rd line center 4M.

Staal may be the next Francis, Brind'Amour, Keith Primeau...but, for the immediate future, the Pens would be better off with someone who is a true winger that can play on their top 2 lines

Aubrey said...

I like Staal, but I'm undecided on how I feel about us locking him up....maybe they're trying to see what kind of offers they can get for him? Who knows....I second the "In shero we trust" motto.

Rage said...

I am sure I'm in the minority, but IMHO, the Pens roll with what they got and fix shit the right way without mortgaging the franchise's future. Staal himself ain't gonna bring much in return without some/all high draft picks and/or other pieces. That said, I say suck it up, scout, and keep building this shit up

I like me some Staal, though, and don't wanna see him go.

kstewy16 said...

Matt said...
Way better than getting outbid by the Thrashers for $6.5 mil a year, then watching him become a scoring machine on Kovalchuk's line.

Actually Matt, that would have given the Pens a 1st, 2nd, 3rd, and I believe a 4th as well from the Trashers.
Not a bad deal considering they blow so much theres a chance that could be a top 3 pick.

dying alive said...

The thread on the Staal signing is already at four pages over at LGP. They'd have gotten less of a reaction if they had dug up the bones of Adolph Hitler, put skates on him, and signed him to a four year deal.

To be fair, the response has been pretty mixed and most people who are unhappy are just not thrilled about the dollar amount. But this post made me LOL:

"Why, God? Why?

Rage said...

"Not a bad deal considering they blow so much theres a chance that could be a top 3 pick."


Hahaha...true

But Atlanta ain't gonna outbid anybody as long as Douche Waddell is there...

Dr. Turkleton said...

BNG66...

+29 on MAF not at the ASG.


ExtraAttackerblog...

went to check my lineup for tonight...went from 81st place last night...to 381 this morning...to 392 right now!!!! Are peeps getting mystery points during the Pens off days??? or maybe I'm tied with 300+ other peeps with 34 points for the Week.

[Extra Attacker: William Wallace]

Rage said...

and for the resident capologists, the money is 3.5, 3.5, 4.5, 4.5.

Dwayne said...

Slush, it's not Staal hate. It's just *not* Staal love.

Think about it; a center drafted as a top 5 pick 3 years in a row. You will only have two on scoring lines. The third? He's on a checking line.

The projection for a top 5 pick as a center will be that they will be centering one of the top two lines. Using him as a Winger has had rather desultory results up to this point.

So, if you can trade him (not that we don't like him, or hate him, or something) and get something awesome out of him that WILL be in your top 6 forwards, why not?

The Pens aren't trying to put together a team of awesomepeoplewhoarealsobestfriends, no matter how fun that is to think of. They're trying to win the Stanley Cup.

*Some* people think that trading Staal might end up giving them that chance.

Some, like me, understand the theory, but aren't entirely sold on it.

None of us "hate" Staal, we just think we could find a better fit for our team.

Having Staal as a Center is a lot like having a Beemer for your 3rd car in a family of 2, behind a Rolls Royce and a Mercedes. Awesome and all, but a bit unnecessary if the only thing you're going to use your Beemer for is a beater car.

debrisslide said...

Still trusting Shero. Whether the contract means we keep Staal or trade his ass, it's a good move.

Dr. Turkleton said...

I meant RFA Staal, not UFA.

Had [Hossa] on the brain.

Thanks, raybin!

meecrofilm said...

I like he's locked up for 4 years, just that the dollar amount is a little high, but that's what you gotta do these days in order to keep players around. Less money would make him a better trade option too. Maybe he can explode on Sid's wing tonight.

Geno is russian for Jesus said...

Gameday today should be Smith (clive owen) from Shoot 'em Up, He straight up kills people with carrots

slush said...

Dwayne- Thanks for the explanation. Precite it! Which makes sense and the analogy was killer. But, I cant say I am sold. Shero has always mentioned him as part of the core. Of course who knows what the hell could happen. We will see. It will all play out. :)

Chubs said...

@ The Goon-

Among the things I never thought I'd see around here were Aquabats lyrics. Also, didn't think Stephen S. would draw a carrot, but that doesn't mean I don't love both of them.

[Woo Staal]

Owyn_Beleforte said...

@Meecro:

Wait are you saying 4 Million per year is too much? Personally I think it's a steal for a guy who is going to be at least as good as his brothers, and considering that he's going to be a top 2 line guy he should be at least half as good as the two best players in the game right now which is all that he's being paid for...

I dunno I think 4 mil for any team to trade for him they would think that's chump change for this kid...

kstewy16 said...

LGP got Rick Rolled.

Doc Emerick said...

It was a sign and trade.

Staal and 2010 2nd round pick for Nash
www.tsn.ca/sportscolumns/pittsburghjan2008/staal-nash.html
--------

Seriously though, LGP is fucking insane.

sven butenschon said...

I did hear for everytime he missed the net in a game he owes King Shero a $1

We should get a decent portion of that back

M. Vanderlasser said...

Has anyone heard and news on Fedotenko and DuPuis?

...and is Ruutu's head going to cut off and examined for rabies?

Just to be safe, don't put your fingers in the mouth of ANYONE wearing J. Ruutu clothing.

Stilly said...

Well the cap hit isn't horrible near term. 3.5 mil for next year isn't too bad. There are still a lot of question marks at forward since Sykora, Fedotenko, and Satan are all UFA.

I will say though, that Staal's cap numbers are very trade friendly. The offseason should be another fun one.

kstewy16 said...

Pens site still has both Dupers and Fedex in the lineup. So hopefully they're both OK.

debrisslide said...

According to Staal's agent, quoted in the Trib:
"Jordan made no secret he wanted to remain a Penguin," Krepelka said. "The reason this didn't get done in the summer was he wanted to see where he fit. Now, Jordan has no complaints how he's being used. Once that became clear, that he would be used as more than just a No. 3 center, we wanted to get the deal done."

link

dying alive said...

Interesting that Staal agreed to terms during the dad trip. I wonder if Hank had some input?

I didn't see this posted but I may have missed it: Ruutu got two games without pay for his little soylent green episode.

Dr. Turkleton said...

per rotowire, yesterday...

Fedotenko (hand) did not travel with the Penguins to Nashville for Thursday's contest, FSN-Pittsburgh reports.
Spin: After connecting on a knockdown punch of Colby Armstrong Tuesday night, Fedotenko was seen trying to flex his fingers. The team has been close-lipped on the exact nature of Fedotenko's injury, but it wouldn't be surprising to hear that the Penguins forward could miss at least a couple weeks.

Dupuis (undisclosed) traveled with the team to Nashville for Thursday night's game, according to FSN-Pittsburgh.
Spin: Dupuis missed significant time against Atlanta following his injury on Tuesday. It appears as though his ailment is not too serious, however, and that he could play against the Predators.

pops said...

4 mil is a lot...

but then again, they're paying satan 3.5...
fuck

Aubrey said...

Ruutu = all business

I like the concept of Staal giving $1 back everytime he misses the net.

Raybin said...

Once that became clear, that he would be used as more than just a No. 3 center, we wanted to get the deal done

Wtf? He was Malkin's wing for October and didn't get anything done in that position. Since then, he's been the 3rd line center, 2nd line powerplay center and top penalty killing forward.

In other words, pretty much what he was in the second half of last season.

Wonder what promises were made...

Stilly said...

I hope Staal works on some shot placement if he's going to be a presence on the power play. I guess PP, PK, and third line minutes are ok with him.

pops said...

GOTTA resign sykora, gotta, id love to see fedotenko resigned as well, as long as its reasonable

satan can go to hell, hehe

Aubrey said...

@pops-
hahahaha you're so clever :)
We need Sykora!

kstewy16 said...

Here's the updated cap total for the Pens then for next season.
Forwards-
Sid, Geno, Staal, Cooke, Talbot, Godard, and Dupuis are all under contract for a total of 25.75 Million.
Kennedy is also signed but the $ amounts aren't available.

Defense- Gonchar, Whitney, Orpik, Letang, and Eaton are all signed for a total of 15.585 million.

Fleury at 5 million.

Total thats 46 million 13 players. (not including Kennedy)

So that leaves about 10 million for a backup goalie, 1 defenseman (hopefully resign both scuds and Gogo though) and 5 forwards.

Its going to be tight than your first time. In Shero we trust.

BlacknGold66 said...

IT's PEOPLE!!!



[Wallace]

TheFandangler said...

I hope Shero is still Shero.

I thought the Satan signing was his worst... but come on!


Staal may play well. Most people play well up until they sign their contract but Staal is lame enough to play well when he signs a fresh one.

kstewy16 said...

Supposed to say tighter than your first time. I can't even make a joke right, doh.

dying alive said...

I think they'll try to re-sign Sykora. He has been streaky, but he has too much chemistry with Malkin for them to let him go without making an effort to sign him. I don't think teams will be lining up to give him huge contracts and he seems to like playing here, so I think he'll be back for at least one more season. Fedetenko as well, possibly. Satan, no way.

Staal will get better with his play in front of the net. People always say that someone as big as him should just naturally be good at it, Malone was just as big as Staal and it took him a couple of years to become skilled at it.

The player I'm most interested in seeing if the Pens re-sign now is Gonchar (I know he has one more year), then Letang.

Allison said...

@pops- just from watching him during his time on the Island, Fedo is quite streaky. I know he's got more relaible line mates now, but I wouldn't be the least bit surprised to see cblog frying him alive in a couple of months.

pops said...

the red wings will be losing a lot of talented wingers, they just can't resign all of them, of course, the pens won't be able to sign any either. lots of money locked up. thats why building from youth is so key in the nhl these days... the only problem being the pens youth wingers not being able to step up, but who knows, with nhl ice time and confidence anything can happen. we'd all love to see sid finally get a fucking goddamn winger who can put the puck in, but its looking more and more unlikely... but shero's in control. besides, they're picking up jagr... haha

M. Vanderlasser said...

Thanks, Dr. T...

Mmmmm...Soylent Green...

dying alive said...

@ BNG - Thank god somebody got the reference.

@ kstewy - According to some, the Pens have some pretty good prospects in the system at forward. Hopefully once some of these larger contracts start to drop off they'll be able to replace them with Baby Pens instead of looking elsewhere.

pops said...

i think the thing i like the most about fedo, yea he's streaky, but during the losing streak, he looked like he was one of the only players to give a shit. he was physical, fought a goon!, broke his hand fighting a pen favorite. i think he is trying to show he would like to stay here. thats a great player to have on your team, regardless of lighting the lamp... he's like last years max talbot of sorts (less scrappy, but i mean in the giving a shit sense of things) poor max, its like he's a different player

Dr. Turkleton said...

next year:

TK 725k
Jeffrey 509k

Prospects under contract:

Veilleux 875k
Caputi 833k
Alex Grant 800k

Aubrey said...

thats a tight fit, indeed. We better pick up some wingers that I don't want to hurt...


[Jagr 2009]

Annie S said...

I like Satan's SAS page...

You're pretty fucking stupid if you think he's NOT the devil.

pops said...

it blows my mind that 96.3% of the teams on ESPN Fantasy own Satan...

who are people?

fleuryous said...

If Scuds doesn't resign, I lose all faith in humanity.


...just kidding...I think.

Congrats to Staal. I'm not entirely sure how I feel about the monetary terms, but I'm glad he's sticking with us.

Go Pens.

debrisslide said...

Sykora should be re-signed. Fedo I would like to see back as well.

I feel like Mark Eaton should still be part of some trade package. Scratching Goligoski when he's such a good point option on a struggling PP makes sense if you want to showcase a good defensive defenseman, like Eaton, shortly before the trade deadline, no? We have so many fucking defensemen, somebody's gotta go.

dying alive said...

OH GOD! How could I forget Scuds? He just jumped to the top of the list.

debrisslide said...

Oh yeah, and keep Scuderi by all means. The man is a fucking genius. He's the kind of guy you want to see on your team for his entire career.

kstewy16 said...

Every single person on LGP, and a couple here, don't seem to understand the current CBA. So here it is.

Your salary and your cap hit are not the same thing.

Salary is how much the player makes each season.

Cap hit is the average salary from the contract.

So Staal's for instance...

Cap hit is 4 million for 4 years even though he will only be paid 3.5 million for the first 2 years and 4.5 million for the 3rd and 4th years.

pops said...

exactly. so teams cant front load or backload contracts anymore.

kstewy16 said...

Pops got it.
Of course, chances are the CBA will be done away with a new one, or one with many many changes will be taking effect when this one is over, so I wonder what happens to back loaded contracts then? that could actually help us since sid and geno only get like 7 something million a year for the last couple.

TheFandangler said...

Didn't the lightning kind of back load Vinny's contract?

TheFandangler said...

Matt I just read up to the Rob Schneider carrot thing.

Awesome.

I'm ashamed I didn't think of that.

kstewy16 said...

You can still back load the contracts salary wise, but it doesn't effect the cap any different.
GM's still do it with everyone though, who knows why, I'm no GM.

In days of old you could do something like pay sid 20 million in one season because he's the only player under a big contract, then pay him 2 million for the next 4, so you could sign other good players. But with the current CBA that would just count as a 5.6 million cap hit.

P.O. said...

vinny lecavailer will be the next owner/player after oren koules pulls a howard baldwin and goes belly up

Stilly said...

You're right kstewey... I am fail.

Either way, we'll see what's up come deadline time.

BlacknGold66 said...

As Meecro once said...

5 on 3's are the disease.

Rob Scuderi is the cure.

Chewbacca said...

DO IT

TheNWChica said...

Hey.... since Gronk got resigned and the dads are on the road with the boys; how about Mama Staal? She's gotta have big ones to have 5 men in the house and not lose her sanity.

Aubrey said...

@chewbacca-
that is one of the nastiest pics ever...thanks for posting that while i'm trying to eat!

nikki said...

I second that Aubrey
yuck

The Goon Blogger said...

Staal for 4 mil a season? I'll take that all fucking day.

Scuderi and Sykora better be resigned. Tenk is making a push with me as well. After that, I don't care.

[Trade Go-Go]

debrisslide said...

Tenk and Dupuis are both out with injuries.

This is what happens

kstewy16 said...

From EN

-According to the team's site, Michel Therrien and company are going to get their money's worth immediately with the freshly-signed Jordan Staal and place him on the top line in place of Dupuis along with SIdney Crosby and Tyler Kennedy.


Dupers and Fedex are BOTH out tonight.

The Goon Blogger said...

Halbert Gill still being out is incredibly annoying to me. However, the Alaskan Storm is returning, and I am excited about that.

Tim Wallace > Dustin Jeffery

kstewy16 said...

Ahh debrisslide beat me.

The Goon Blogger said...

Jeffrey* typo city.

Dan said...

the flyers will try to sign adam "pacman" jones. believe it.

debrisslide said...

Alaskan Storm being back warms my heart. Staal-Crosby-TK sounds awkward, but I guess you can't knock it til you try it.

Chewbacca said...

HAHA!! Carrots + steroids = nightmares!!

Matt said...

@Dan- Then they'll trade him to Tampa Bay for the Lightning's entire defensive corps.

Matt said...

And, uh, Gogo on the third line as winger. Innnnnnteresting.

wilsmith said...

a friend of mine told me they read in some magazine (hockey news, sporting news, something or other) that the pens have one of the lowest rated "systems" among NHL teams. I know a lot of people talk about the players we have coming up and how good they'll be, but really, that's probably just because they're in our team's system.

As for the Staal trade, I know I made the "we'll get our winger someday" comment, but really this just might bring that closer to happening. The team doesn't need a Staal playing center. It needs a winger. We all love Staal, he has a cool nickname and the ladies think he's cute, but that's about it.

Also, BNG, I have a Mark Eaton as Marion Cobretti photoshop somewhere, but I can't access it from work. =(

I might have to change it to Scuds.

Rage said...

pacman jones=pk subban

"...I love me some me"

Dan said...

he'll make it rain and lightning in tampa.

The Goon Blogger said...

Staal's best play was when he was playing with Malkin on the wing.

Just sayin'.

[Staal is the Super Star Winger the Pens Need]

Dan said...

and thank god swiss cheese fleury didn't make the all star game. i would cry to have to watch the fleury goal® over and over and over and over. and over.

The Goon Blogger said...

Good thing so many forwards decide to shoot it right into Fleury when the defense breaks down in front of him, right Dan?

BlacknGold66 said...

Will, I know exactly what photoshop you are talking about. It's a classic.

nikki said...

What a pic BNG
Such a beauty

urban said...

The Pens should trade the trade rumors for Nash + conditional trade rumors to be named later, and some iced tea.

I'm thirsty.

dying alive said...

OK, I love Mental Floss. Maybe not as much as tPB, but a whole lot.

Quiz: Don Cherry Outfit or Clown Costume?

I scored 8/9. There was one that really could have gone either way and I guessed wrong.

Dan said...

for every great save he makes he gives up a weak goal. i've said it for years. feel free to blame the defense for the soff goals he's given up. i cringed when we signed him to that contract. unfortunately i've been proven way too right lately. not saying i want him to do bad, just saying i wouldn't sign him to a 5 year contract. not yet. no way.

The Goon Blogger said...

Goalies=QBs of Hockey.

nikki said...

@DA
Haha you know you've been forced to watch NHIC for too long when you manage to get 9/9 on that
I wish I could use my brain for more productive things...

Rage said...

8 of 9- the fucking pink 3 piece got me

debrisslide said...

Also 8 out of 9. Alas.

christina said...

Dear god. I got 100% and I've never watched HNIC in my life. I scare myself.

Matt Gajtka said...

I like what the Pens are doing by putting Staal and Goligoski on the wings tonight. Before you attempt to go outside the organization for a finishing touch, it would be wise to see if you can get it from inside the organization. If that takes some original, unconventional thinking (esp. in the GoGo case), then so be it.

Try it for this game especially, considering that Fedo and Dupuis are out. Anxious to see how it all goes down.

Chewbacca said...

Even better than that clown/Cherry quiz is the line "is now a respected broadcaster."

debrisslide said...

btw staff, if you are still looking for GameDay, he's still all business.

I also support Marsellus.

The Goon Blogger said...

Look at that fucking cell phone.

dying alive said...

@ rage - I got the same one wrong. Tricky.

Rage said...

Here's your game day: Dark and Ruthless

ALL business...

The Goon Blogger said...

Pens still need some help with the PP I think because let's face it, it was the Thrashers. We need a mastermind to get the rifles going.

Back to the Drawing Board.

Xerone said...

I'm not gonna be able to watch the game tonight.

Damn work!

Let's Go Pens!

Steve In Denver said...

What a good last hour....first, yummy burger lunch. Then I found a sweeeet 4 gig ipod outside on the street. Went to check sports news and Staal is locked up.

Woooooooooooooooooooo

Now if I could just talk my wife into a nice, orange-hued spray on tan, teal heels, and 3 layers of leg warmers on various parts of her anatomy.

Carroll said...

I got 100% on the Don Cherry quiz. The pink outfit was hard, but you were able to tell because ther wan't a huge gut.

Kenny Bania said...

What a shit day Jerry.

SHIT DAY.

I had soup and a sandwich instead of being taken out for a real meal then I lose my 4 gig iPod somewhere.

At least we got Staal for four more years.

His hair is GOLD Jerry! GOLD!

Eric P. said...

$16 mil for a lanky, awkward, soff giveaway machine

nice

RedWings said...

@Kenny Bania

That was the best, Jerry, the best.

Stoosh said...

Standing in line earlier today at Gate 31 of Hartsfield-Jackson Atlanta International Airport, waiting to board the Delta flight back to Pittsburgh and I get a text message alert. It's the Pens and they're texting to alert me about the Jordan Staal extension. I look at my cell phone, blurt out "King Shero!" and the guy in front of me turns around and goes, "Pens fan?"

Beauty!

Spent the last two days in the Dirty South and let's just say that if Atlanta does indeed have an NHL team, most people there don't know about it.

I like the Staal extension because they didn't lock him up for ridiculous money, so if it doesn't work out after another couple of years, it'll be easy to deal him.

We've all seen how dominant Staal can be at times; conversely, we've all seen how lost he can look at times as well. That's called "being 20 years old and playing in the NHL". The one major thing Staal's game lacks is consistency and that's something that will work itself out with experience.

Pens fans - myself included - need to keep in mind that he's 20 years old and he's already working on his third season in the league. Half of Boston was ready to drive Phil Kessel to the airport over the last two seasons, and look at how he's turned things around. Kessel's more than a year older than Staal. Staal will be fine.

We still have a surplus of offensive defenseman. Depending on what type of player he's looking for, one of those can still be dealt for that winger.

J.S. said...

re: Don Cherry quote from Mental Floss: Don Cherry is a former NHL player and coach

former NHL player? Yeah, it's technically true I guess, but barely. 1 postseason game where he played 6 minutes

Victor Raison said...

So sayeth The Stoosh.

Commit, naturally.

Stoosh said...

While I'd obviously love to see a talent like Kovalchuk or someone like that be brought in to play on a wing, if Shero's looking to make a move sometime within the next few weeks, I'd love to see him contact the Islanders about Trent Hunter.

Hunter could more than likely fill that role left vacant by Ryan Malone on the first line (I like what Fedotenko's doing on the second line). He's got 11 goals and 15 assists in 38 games.

He's also on an extremely cap-friendly deal (signed through 2012-13 at just a $2M/year cap hit), so I'm not sure what it would take to pry him away from the Isles because I have no idea what their plan is. I can't tell if he's part of their core there because they really don't have much of a discernable core.

slush said...

Stoosh FTW

Raybin said...

I'm not sure what it would take to pry him away from the Isles because I have no idea what their plan is.

That's okay, neither do they.

The Goon Blogger said...

Does Stoosh ever say anything wrong even in the slightest of cases?

Commit. Full on.

Raybin said...

I could deal with Trent Hunter for sure.

Ideally, I'd like to see Nathan Horton, but it's going to take someone like Staal to pry him lose from the Panthers, so I don't see that happening. (Plus he's a 4mil cap hit)

Here's an idea I've been batting around in my head:

Nik Antropov.

Not exactly the deadly sniper type, but he is 6'6" (there's your big body in front of the net) and scored 26 goals last year and is on the same pace this year.

Rage said...

Kulemin from Toronto. Think about it...

The Goon Blogger said...

@Raybin

I'm basically the opposite of Don Cherry when it comes to Russian players (Antropov is technically from Kazakhstan I know, but it was the USSR when he was born) and even *I* don't want him.

Carroll said...

Toronto will be shopping some of it's players around shortly, so they are possibilities.

Rage said...

I just thought of kulemin because he was Geno's linemate in Russia, seems to have good upside, and he was doing well at the beginning of the season and Burke sent him down to the Marlies.

Aubrey said...

fuck it, let's try putting some of our D boys on Sid's line. We can't keep them all, so maybe we can be creative and find another place for them on the team so we can keep them???

I dunno, just thinking out loud...useless thoughts mostly, but if we're gonna switch up the lines lets really fuck with people's minds. Imagine being a pussy goalie like Osgood, and you see USS Hal Gill coming at you for the goal. That could be epic! :)

Bobby Brown said...

Staal for Krejci straight up.

This has been your bi-monthly cblog post from the user formerly known as sh0ez.

TheNWChica said...

And this is why we love the Stoosh!

[looking for a raft or maybe an Ark kit]

Bobby Brown said...

Blake Wheeler? Milan Lucic?

There's plenty of options.

EatonFreeCandy4Life said...

I've been vacationing in Florida for a week so I was distracted by 70-80 degree weather from this awful slump the Pens are in right now. I caught up on reading all the posts since January 1st and couldn't agree more about Sykora. I can't recall a time where anyone put out an Amber alert for him or anything. Just a solid player all around, night in, night out.

I laughed out loud at the Bongo drum fight. :)

I think the Carrot girl and shirt guy thing was pretty hilarious. I feel that making out is definitely not appropriate for goal celebrations. My husband and I usually just scream really loud or high five. When Talbot scored the tying goal in game 5, he threw his book across the room. Everyone responds differently. Maybe scoring gives people the urge to make out. Definitely not in public though.

I definitely hope the Staal signing doesn't come back to be a waste. I feel as though the Pens are too deep at center while at the same time seriously lacking in the wingers.

I seriously hope that the worst is behind them. These cold January nights are a bit warmer when the Pens win.

Let's Go Pens!!!
I saw several people with Pens gear in Orlando. Even someone with an Orpik shirt. :)

Bobby Brown said...

Actually, the Bruins have no use for Staal. They'd have the same issues we do. Wishful thinking, though.

Dr. Turkleton said...

I don't know if this trade would be considered 'drastic'...but, I'd rather see King Shero trade from the organizations strengths, than have to deal drafts picks and prospects like the [Hossa] deal did last year...

Horton + Bouwmeester for
Staal + [gasp] Whitney

FLA is thin at Center [although Horton can play there, but not his natural position] and they get something substantial for Bouwmeester instead of the possibility of losing him for nothing...
The Pens could sign Bouw for the 6+ mil [6.5 mil Cap Hit would put him tied for 5th highest paid d-men for the 09/10 season] that he'd probably demand on the open market...and this would only be a couple mil more than the Pens were going to be paying Whitney...and if Gonchar decides to walk after next year, the Pens would have their franchise d-man in Bouwmeester wrapped up long term.

Bobby Brown said...

I just did a quick skim of all the teams and their numbers and came to the conclusion that the Trent Hunter, Nik Antropov and Turk's Florida deal seem best. I also like Ponikarovsky. Maybe Stempniak? Though they just got him. I dunno.

I still want a Bruin. Ha ha.

TheNWChica said...

Oh man.... can we please get JayBo? Please please please!? I would love to see him paired with Brooksie or LeGame.

Dr. Turkleton said...

I still want a Bruin. Ha ha.

Glen Murray is in the best shape of his life. or not.

Bobby Brown said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Bobby Brown said...

Crosby, Malkin, Staal, Dupuis, Cooke, Godard, Talbot, Kennedy, (Jeffrey) [about 3 lines without Satan, Sykora, Fedotenko, Zigomanis, and a ton of AHLers] and Gonchar, Whitney, Orpik, Eaton, Letang [2.5 pairings without Gill, Boucher, Goligoski and Scuderi] and Fleury [without Sabourin and Curry?] all make a cap hit in the mid-40 million range for next year as of now. That gives about 10-15 million under this years cap. And there's a possibility it could go down? So technically we need about 3 or so forwards, 1 or so defensemen and a backup goalie for 10-15 million. Doesn't seem that bad. I'm sure there's something I'm missing. There has to be.

I guess what I'm missing is what we lose to FA. Dupuis and TK would be up in the top lines, but meh. 10-15 million to sign just at least two decent wingers, an okay one, a decent D-man and a decent backup goalie isn't that much. Hmm.

And dammit, Turk. Ha ha.

kstewy16 said...

Smizik is on Sportsbeat. What a douche.

He was just ranting about how his say isn't as important as it used to be, and thats one of the reasons he quit. What a narcissistic douche.

btumpak said...

woo. lets do this shit...

go pens.

Staal gettin nasty tonight

Matt said...

I nominate Smizik for the Biggest Douche in the Universe award.

And Rob Schneider carrot as gameday character. Wooooooo

M. Vanderlasser said...

Wnt to the grocery story earlier, saw carrots, started laughing.

I like your King Shero story, Stoosh!

nwchica, I watched for you on the news; I thought you might float by on a raft waearing a Pens jersey...no dice.

Can't wait for the game tonight - it's going to be like that NHL Network where the coach wants his to use his defense as an offense...and his offense as a defense.

Juice said...

Frank Dux.

Dux it.

wilsmith said...

wooo

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