Sunday, November 30, 2008

We don't know about you, but when we were young, we played with G.I. Joes, watched Gumby, and shot some hockey in our basements. The only trouble we tried to get into was tricking other kids into overdosing on Flintstone kids vitamins. And you know what, little Johnny recovered so F off.

We all "pretended," we were sports stars when we were kids. And some of those imaginary moments were probably really stupid.

But we like to think those moments weren't as bizarre as the following YOUTUBE.
Some kid pretends to get drafted by the Maple Leafs, then holds an impromptu press conference in his kitchen that concludes with a stirring rendition of Ooooooo Canada.




Jesus.

Thanks to [Phil G] for the find.


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People always say we are lucky to have Sidney Crosby and Evgeni Malkin.
That is true.

But we are even more lucky when they both are on fire.

This win made the Buffalo game a little easier to think about it, and it made it another successful week [3-1] for the Pens.


daver

sufner

stooshes
Stephen S.
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You want to talk about a player finding where his business is, it's Crosby.
All that crap about him slumping in the beginning of the year.
What a play.
1-0.

Huge goal at home with memories of the Buffalo game still lingering.

Next shift, Malkin and Sykora almost sent the Devils reeling, but no dice.

When Malkin's line hit the ice again, they drew a penalty. Well, Malkin did.
The Pens pooper play goes to work.
A couple close calls, but the Devils hang on.

The Devils got their chance on the PP with a Sykora high stick.
Patrick Elias had a horrible PP. Blew two one-time chances with Sabu out to lunch.
The Devils' hard work on the man advantage got rewarded with a Zajac penalty.

The pooper had some chances again, with Gogo hitting a post. But that was it.
Good start to the game.

In the second half of the first, Malkin made some kind of sick pass to Sykora that won't show up in the box score.
Crosby jumps onto the ice and does the spinorama.

The rest of the first period was an exhibition by Malkin and Bing.
It's good to be a Pens fan.

Somewhere near the end of the first, out of nowhere, Eric Godard goes careening into the boards behind the Devils net. Jesus.

The penalty box throws Eaton a Welcome Back party.
Scuderi is like the Tin man when it comes to blocking shots.


The Pens kill most of it to end the first.

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During the game, Paul Steigerwald commented on Tyler Kennedy,
saying something along the lines of him having a shot in every game this season.

It was an off-the-cuff remark, a "well, it feels like he has" statement.

Actually, he does have a shot in every game this season, save for one:
the 4-3 loss to the Caps.

CROSBY -- Shot in every game except for San Jose loss.


TENK -- Shotless twice: Most recent Islanders win and Toronto 4-1 win.


GOLIGOSKI -- Shotless twice: Ranger loss, first Philly win


MALKIN -- Shotless once: Rangers loss


MAX -- Shotless three times: Ottawa game, recent NYI and BUF games



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The Pens killed the rest of Eaton's business to start the second.

Goligoski became the third Penguin to get owned by the ice. Jesus again.
Oh, hey, Malkin doesn't fall randomly anymore. Just realized that.

Zach Parise is an idiot. He blatantly interferes with Pesonen and gets surprised when there's a penalty.
Nobody's surprised when Crosby makes another ridiculous play.

Malkin keeps the puck in when it was sure to be gone. He keeps it alive and gets it to TK, barely.
Through the legs backpass to Bing, who sees Sykora all the way.
He makes a pass few hockey players can make.
2-0.
Matt Cooke hits that punk Parise. Starts a melee, lets the Devils know this ain't a joke.
Jarks Ruutu used to do that if our memory serves correctly. But then Ruutu would take a crippling penalty.

All that crap brought on a 4-on-4.
Advantage Penguins every day of the week.
Malkin plays a NHL shift, getting up from being jobbed, and lunges at a loose puck.
Bing, after near-missing on a slapper, kept everything alive.
Appropriately, he puts it home.

3-0.

Is it possible not to want your team to have a 3-0 lead?
M.A.S.

The rest of the period is made up of the Devils trying to "open" it up.
Hacks.



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As soon as th puck drops you just want to see time fast forward so the Devils don't have a chance to get back into it.

Shit.

Pesonen can't get it out, Scuds gets trip up. Mike Rupp puts one up where Mom keeps pictures of naked boys. 3-1.
Unbelievably huge goal for the Devils.


Bad news city.

So now we get to see Zach Parise and Brian Gionta commit penalties for the entire third period and get away with it. Marty St. Louis called he wants his identity back.

The Devils start doing their thing, you can feel a goal. But Sabu shows us whats up.
It is funny how superstitious players are. Sabu changes his mask against the Isles and gets pulled.

The Devils had a great chance to get back in the game when Tanger Outlets went off.
But the PK Unit does its job. Huge kill.

Father Time 3:16.
Clemmensen pulled. Crosby lunges. HT. 4-1.


GAME.
What a gentleman



MISCELLANEOUS
  • Sid's first home hat trick.
  • 9-2-1 November for the Pens. Bank.
  • Solid performance on the back end of a two-nighter.
  • Sabu does his job.
  • Go Steelers. We hate Steeler fanboys, but we hate New England more.




Saturday, November 29, 2008

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A lot of people left the Devils for dead after Brodeur went down.
But quietly the Devils have done okay, and they are far from dead.

Still, Kevin Weekes and Scott Clemmensen don't strike fear in to you like Brodeur would.
Whatev.

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:: Sabu tonight. [PP]


Pens are 4-0-2 against the Atlantic.


In honor of ERIC P.'s Pens goal montages,
here is his first EASHL goal on NHL 09:









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Burke is in Toronto now, so Maple Leaf fans can start jerking off on each other.[Pension Plan Puppets]

That is the dumbest Photoshop ever courtesy of [TSN].

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In other news. Chris Osgood sucks.



What a joke.

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Pens need a win tonight.


Do It.

Buffalo Sucks. PENS LOSE

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Hey look, it is an 82 game season. Some nights things just don't end the way you want.

What is tough about tonight is anytime you lose to a hack team, and their little bitch fans, it hurts.

And we are not saying this because the Pens lost, but Ryan Miller did not deserve to win. He was outplayed by John Curry all night. Miller, though, made one more save then Curry, and gets the W. But whatev.

The one thing you learn about being a Pens fan, is that at least five times a year, some complete waste of space will play the game of his life and beat you.

Meet Paul Gaustad.
He has two goals this year.
He won't score the rest of the season. Mud city.


The Pens played a solid road game, but anytime your road powerplay [8%] matches some type of loan rate, you ain't winning. By the end of year it will be 20%.

You have to take positives where you can get them.
  • Bing is starting to take over
  • Orpik is a monster
  • Malkin is sick
  • Your third string goalie played a big time game
  • Winning faceoffs
  • blah blah blah
The lines were kind of everywhere, but Therrien is still trying to figure out whats going to work.
Life could be worse you could be a Stars fan.

[Jon]

:::


Like we said, we are enjoying our Holiday, so this recap will be brief. In fact, instead of recapping the game we'll just make fun of Buffalo.

If there is a town that needs a championship more, we haven't seen it. You couldn't hear the game because after every whistle Sabre fans were complaining about some shit.
Morons.

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Good first 20 minutes.
JFK scored his 6th goal.
All six have been on the road.



Choker.


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Slug


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Bing was everywhere.




woooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

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NHL.com is a joke. Whoever is running the Pens page is clearly a trickster.[Click to enlarge]
Thanks to [Sam D.]

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Pens up 3-2 going in.
Wind up losing 4-3.

Never fun.

Curry made some big time saves, Miller got bailed out by the Refs because everyone feels bad for Buffalo fans.



Go to hell.


MISCELLANEOUS

  • Gotta see what Malkin-Crosby-Sykora can do for a whole game.
  • Don't give up on Satan yet.
  • If Maxim Avignjokov could shoot, he would be a 3rd liner player. Its to bad Orpik didn't destroy him.
  • Is Patrick Kateta serious? Idiot.
  • wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
Go Pens.

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wooo