Don Cherry The Thespian, Asshole.

When you talk about solid human beings, you have to talk about R.L Stine and his series “Goosebumps.”

He graced us with some big time literature in the mid-90’s.



If you weren’t reading goosebumps books, people took notice.

Goosebumps then became a TV Series that jobbed around for awhile.

But R.L Stine has now been tainted by the King of queer himself, Don Cherry.

It is tough to watch- forward to the end.

Previewing The Wings: Sick

We didn't really get to all the season previews we wanted too, but who cares.

We also didn't get to introduce a lot of the team bloggers.

But to wrap up this failed experiment it is time to bring in the "Chief."

We first started our feud with [Abel To Yzerman] after last years season preview, because we called Detroit "HomoTown."

Thanfully, Bill Houlihan, who runs the site on world class human Paul Kukla's [KuklasKorner] is as immature as we are, and he gave it to us right back.

We'd insult Bill, but he has his world championship ring stuck in his ear.

He also holds the world championship blogger belt.

Without further ado.

The Chief has the floor:


::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

I'd like to drop a quick thank you to Charlie, Thad, Skip and Staff. What an honor to have this opportunity to briefly visit and remind all of you (a) how the Wings kicked your asses last year and (2) how much fun it will be to watch it happen again.

Oh. And it will.

And now you're whining, like little bitches. Stop. That wasn't a slam. There will be a few, but that wasn't one of them. You're coming out of the East and we're going to see the same two teams in the Final next June. I'll leave it up to you geniuses to obsess over the reason the Pens will be there.

I'll let you know why Detroit will join them.

The most talented pair of men this side of Darren Garcia and PensBlog Charlie. Hank Zetterberg and Pavel Datsyuk. Better than Gary's Baby Boy and his Invisible sister Evgeni? Yes. But, your girls are gaining. When Crosby makes his debut on a penalty killing unit, we may consider him nearly Zetterberg's equal.

Last year's loss to The Dynasty, if Crosby has any heart at all, should have been bouncing around his head all summer. Kinda like the Wings' sweep at the hands of New Jersey in '95. There's a good chance Steve Yzerman spent the months of June, July and August that year perched in a belltower with a sniper rifle.

If Crosby hates losing as much as Yzerman did, and if he doesn't take one Finals appearance for granted as some sort of annual privelege, he'll get his Cup...eventually.

If he's angry.

Zetterberg and Datsyuk were angry last season. The loss to Anaheim the year before, a shaft job if there ever was one, pissed them off because they know--as we all did--that Detroit outplayed the Poultry. If not for a fluttering prison washroom assault of a goal to tie Game 5, the Wings win that series then sweep the candy ass Sens.

So they were motivated. They still are, but now for different reasons. Winning the Cup was fun. So was winning the Selke and the Conn Smythe. Stamping a Dynasty will be even better and that's their goal.

Start gritting your teeth Cbloggers. Reason number two all the Wings will do is kick ass?

Hossa.

My Uncle Mike has been scribbling lines on the back of Phonics workbooks all summer, speaking in Pentacostal tongues, just fucking babbling to himself about power play units. He's had strange visions of Hossa, Zetterberg, Datsyuk, Franzen, Filppula, Hudler, Holmstrom doing things with each other on the ice that would be illegal in most states other than Tennessee and either one of the illiterate backward-ass Carolinas.

The core of Detroit forwards was talented before, as you're all fully and horrifically aware. But with the addition of your boy, it creates the strong possibility that Detroit will average somewhere around 19 goals/game. Just from the two top lines. Offensively, I could make a case that this could be one of the greatest teams ever assembled.


Better than your second favorite team, the Oilers of the 80's? Well, when you think that each of the Wing forwards is as committed to back checking as they are scoring? It's possible.
Consider this: with Datsyuk, Draper, Zetterberg and Filppula the Wings have two Selke Trophy winners and two more on the way. Zetterberg's a lock to win one within the next two years and Filppula's next in line after him.

Hell, Hossa may even win it this year considering he's shown a tendency toward defensive responsibility and will be even more prone to that with all the influence surrounding him.

Are you guys fond of Nik Kronwall? I can't recall if he brutalized every Pens forward in the Finals last year or just nine or ten. My memory's fading.

Nick Lidstrom is the best defenseman to ever play the game. Well maybe second best behind Orpik. Lidstrom is the king..acknowledged. But Kronwall is the next one. He's not a Lidstrom clone though, actually much more like Konstantinov than anyone else. This year you'll see more offense out of him than a lot of people realize is possible. To the tune of about 65 points.

Lidstrom, Rafalski, Kronwall, Stuart: all the geniuses said Anaheim had assembled "the best blue line ever" last year, but they were nothing compared to Detroit's top 4. This season we may end up seeing another Holland draft day miracle, Jonathon Ericsson. There's a good chance that by the time our reunion takes place in next year's Final, Ericsson will be the number 5 dman. You'll dig him. Fleury will be in a puddle of his own feces after the first 120 mph slapshot bounces off his forehead.

Yeah, despite all the talent and the potential for greatness, there could be an issue. You may look at Detroit and see decay. You find it easy to pick on our city, our glorious mayor, our football team and our state slogan, "what happens at the cabin, stays at the cabin...until your sister opens her big fat trap". But none of those, in our minds, constitute weakness. If there is one, it could be the old standard: goaltending.

Chris Osgood, as brilliant as he was last year, could slip into mediocrity. Is it likely? Not really because the Wings will still only give up about twenty shots per game, and most of those won't be quality. There's no reason to expect Osgood won't be very good. Brilliant? No. Just real good. But we don't think that way.

Wing fans aren't saying it now. But secretly, when we're scared and it's raining and the carnival workers are wandering the streets? We worry about Osgood.



Thankfully we got ourselves a quality backup for like 8 bucks. Can't remember who he is or where we snagged him from, but I just know we got one. Help me out there if you can.

Will we need Conklin to earn his 850? Maybe fifteen times. The Wings, thanks to pal of PensBlog Gary Bettman, have more back to back games than any team in the league (16). Add in a few more if (when) Osgood gets hurt and he'll play a key role.

Or he won't. No team in the league asks less of their goaltender than the Wings do.

If Osgood does his job. If the Wings stay healthy. Those are the two keys. If those "ifs" both turn out in Detroit's favor? The greatest regular season in NHL history. In year's past that would be a punchline leading to, "followed by another first round choke job". But not anymore. Not after the last two years.

Nope. The Wings will be back in the Finals, and your boys will be there too. You want it. I want it. Most importantly, Little Gary Bettman wants it.

Good luck to you bitches. See you on the Cblog...sometimes.

Hmmm

This isn't political shit.

This is just some dude who predicted the current economic crisis.
August 2006

Last line of the movie:
"That's all the dollar's gonna be worth, is a penny."
What a move.



Build that arena. Fast.

GULP

Reader RICKY HOSFELT brought the pain into Gmail this afternoon.

GONCHAR TO MISS 4-6 MONTHS WITH SHOULDER SURGERY.
[ ESPN ]

Grab the keys to the DeLorean



Left shoulder got annihilated.
Jesus.

Fast forward to how that same shoulder got jobbed this preseason:



We reiterate: Jesus.
Buckle up. Again.

Sweden Blog

[Pittsburgh Penguins.com] is all over everything.

Here is a video of the Pens first practice and shit.

PS3 EASHL

Team PS3 is now ranked 15 in the world.

We want more people to play, but our roster is as big as it can be.

Is someone interested in heading up a PS3 Teampensblog split squad?

We have about 15 or so names ready to add.

Just let us know.


UPDATE:

The team is already made just needs a GM

Go Pens

Nah Nah Nah Nah-Nah Nah

By all accounts Janne Pesonen has had a solid camp.

Here is his goal from the other night.

It looks like he has a real shot to make the team:



[Thanks to Eric P] already in mid-season form.


Go Pens

XBOX 360: PENSBLOG AAA RESTRUCTURE

Click the link up at the top of the page for the skinny.
Don't flood these comments with EASHL stuff please.

C Is For Cookie. Pens Win.

The Penguins were in Toronto for their last preseason game in North America.

Saturday they head over the pond for a friendly with Jokerit,

and then it's to Sweden to open up the season against the Senators.

Bing was back in the lineup, but Syko and Malkin had the night off.

First Period

Early in the first the Penguins went to the penalty kill when Sydor picked up 2 minutes for interference, but they killed it off thanks to a couple blocked shots by Orpik.

At some point in the first Gill went to the bench and didn't hit the ice for the rest of the game. No word on the damage to USS Hal Gill, hopefully they just didn't want to risk anything in a exhibition game.

Later when the Penguins had a man advantage of their own the Leafs capitalized on a faceoff win in the Pittsburgh zone and Dominic Moore put one behind Fleury to give the Leafs the lead.

0-1

If you wanna get upset about anything with the Penguins over the past couple years, you've got a good case for faceoffs. Just over 46% last year, worst in the league. 47% the year before that, again, worst in the league. The first year back from the lockout? 45%, last in the league.

Win faceoffs.

Still on the powerplay, Pesonen tied it up tipping one through Toskala. Assists to Fedo and Golgo 13.

1-1

Eaton got called for holding and moments after the minor expired the Leafs once again took the lead on a Ponikarovsky goal. Only 17 seconds left in the first.

1-2

Second Period

Much of the same to start off the third. Schenn tallies another one for the Leafs.

1-3

By this time, you realize it's a meaningless presseason game, if you were watching it was probably on some online stream that basically consisted of some guy pointing his webcam and his television (thanks again Yarmond), and your about ready to walk away.

Figuratively at least, you probably would have just closed that tab and went to go watch Chuck at hulu or something.

If you did, you missed a hell of game. Well, at least for preseason.

Bissonnette and Hollweg threw down, with the judges leaning decidedly in Bissonnette's favor.

After killing another penalty, Orpik for Holding the Stick, it took all of Mark Eaton's offensive prowess to take a Crosby pass and bury it.

2-3

Letang and Steen mixed it up later in the 2nd, each picking up a roughing. And the Pens went to the powerplay when Kaberle got whistled for Holding. All of the sudden you were looking at the chance of them locking it up before the horn sounded on the period.

9 seconds into the man advantage Goligoski was called for hooking. Powerplay over.

Third Period

The Pens powerplay had another chance off the bat in the 3rd, but came up empty handed.

Off a Satan takeaway Bing crashed the net and put it around Toskala. The refs took it upstairs, to which they responded "WTF? It's preseason guys, I don't even think we're connected up in here. We've got the Wii going and Steve's working on a 300."

Yeah, it stood.

3-3

It was short lived.

A couple minuets later Kaberle took back the lead.

3-4

Behind the net Fedotenko somehow managed to pick up a highsticking while seated on the ice. You want to be upset, it's late in the game and we're down a man, but you've gotta admit it's quite impressive.

After the kill, Bing hit the ice with the vengeance. After laying out Didomenico he picked up 2 for crosschecking. Dido picked up 2 as well for what we can only guess is receiving, though the scoresheet says slashing.

Under 4 minutes left in the game LeGame tied up the game with assists from Orpik and Fedotenko.

4-4

You realize that this is becoming one of those high scoring games that's gonna go to the last team to put the puck in the net. The Leafs had the lead the entire game, but never put it away.

With 95 seconds left in regulation Cooke jammed home a loose puck for the game winner.

5-4

Fleury put aside a couple last minute attempts by the Leafs. He let in 4 goals in the game, but beings he saw 40 shots. It was a solid effort.

Clock hit zeroes.

Game.

Orpik's face is priceless. [ Yahoo! ]

Gameday [Preseason 4]: Pens @ The Sundin's

Toronto

7:30pm



Should be able to stream the game here:

UPDATED:
Try this:

[Justin.TV]

Big thanks to [Eric P]


Bing city is playing. [PG]


Go Pens

The Devils Season Preview

The following man needs no intro. [Puck Daddy] has the floor.
:::::::::::

The Devils have a team with players

By Greg Wyshynski

My buddy Dave Pagnotta from The Fourth Period thinks my beloved New Jersey Devils are going to miss the playoffs this season, and for good reason: He’s a bitter fucking Habs fan who has seen Lou Lamoriello borrow Montreal players, coaches, systems and mystique for the last 14 years to win three Stanley Cups and four conference championships. Which is slightly better than having Brian Savage and Michael Ryder teach a generation of Canadiens fans the French word for crushing disappointment. (I believe it’s pronounced “Tremblay.”)

Of course, pissing off others is a basic tenet of the NJD faith; a point of pride akin to being a Nader supporter in a blue state. The Devils play the trap. The Devils are boring. The Devils ruined hockey. Lamoriello wrote secret loopholes into the CBA that only he knows about. Brodeur is a product of a defensive system/illegal equipment/east coast bias. We hear it, we accept it, and then we giggle about Sergei Brylin having his name on the Cup three times.

But here’s the truth: We know they’re boring. Painfully boring. Offensively challenged, creatively bankrupt and with about as much personality as Ben Stein reading the NASDAQ. The box scores show the Devils occasionally will receive things called “power plays.” I’m pretty sure they decline them.

So it was interesting to see Jersey make a legit free-agent splash, signing Brian Rolston. Granted, he already has Lou’s Kool-Aid pumping through his veins, but he’s a player that suddenly gives the Devils two better-than-average scoring lines and allows the depth to trickle down to the fourth line. And he may actually give the team a pulse on the power play.

Here are some other reasons I’m rather excited about the Devils this season:

Losing to the Rangers in the first round last year was pretty much rock fucking bottom. Being in your own building and seeing more fans for the opponents than the home team … boy, we were partying like it was 1994 again. I don’t want to say losing to the Rangers is still an emasculating experience for a Devils fan, but I’m pretty sure the last playoff home game in Newark was Modell’s ball gag and gimp box night. Speaking of which …

No one was killed at the Prudential Center on a game night last season. Not only did Barry Melrose get out of Newark with his wallet, but the police state around the arena offered a modicum of safety for those frightened North Jersey white people that came in on the train. Now that we’re in Year 2, the Star Trek Genesis project that is a professional sports arena will begin to transform the surrounding neighborhood. Goodbye ethnic nail salons; hello shitty bars that overcharge for imported beer!



Zach Parise is dreamy. The kid’s been over 30 goals in each of the last two seasons, and is sort of the David Wright of the Devils: Natural talent, cornerstone of the franchise and a player you’re genuinely excited to see continue to mature. Until he decides the Devils’ system is holding him back, he has a bitter contract dispute with Lamoriello and is unceremoniously traded away and/or leaves as a free agent. Happens to the best of them.


Brodeur will continue to be the Lysol for our shitty defense. The Devils defense once had Stevens, Niedermayer, Daneyko and Rafalski. Now it has Oduya, Salvador, Mottau and Martin. Marty’s playing behind the hockey equivalent of wet toilet tissue every night, and yet his numbers remain strong and he’s winning Nabokov’s Vezinas. Best of all: No Sean Avery to call him fat, wave his stick in his face and make fun of him for reading Elle instead of Vogue.


Bobby Holik is back. I really can’t get jacked about this signing, what with Mike Peluso and Randy McKay out of the league. But it’s cool, because the Devils are paying him like the guy who cleans the shitters at White Castle. Who, ironically, is also the guy who makes the burgers.



Finally, we’re not the Islanders. The Flyers, Penguins, Rangers and Devils are all making the playoffs. The Islanders are making sure the aisles are clean for the New York Dragons arena football season. Because that team’s won at least one division title in the last 20 years … unlike other Coliseum tenants.

So, in summary, fuck Frank Pietrangelo. Thanks for reading.

Yes I'm Gay Photoshop Challenge

Once again everyone has raised the bar on this one.
We've got some solid 'shops.

This isn't an expo so we're not posting all of the photoshops.

We tried to pick ten of our favorites.




1 - [JS]

This photoshop is money for several reasons.
Note the layering and near perfect matching of font.
The "Glory Hole" is a bonus that is much appreciated.



2 - [WXDX]

Huge job by our boys from the Penguins flagship.
Hossa was a popular target all day.
And it works on every level.



3 - [Allison Y.]

This isn't the best photoshop of the bunch, but the mere idea is enough to make you laugh.


4 - [Jason C.]

This is one of our favorites, mostly because Scott Hartnell deserves this cover as much as anyone.
The Melrose caption is gold.



5 - [Sam A.]

Solid job by Sam A.
He went the extra mile and did all the sub captions.
And who wouldn't read the Briere Sex Tape scandal?
Money.


6 - [Shawn D.]

This 'shop might be the odds-on favorite to win it all.
Work of art.



7 - [Jenni P]

Jenni went a completely different route, and we dig that.


8 - [John from Dormont]

The layering on this photoshop is what photoshoping is about.


9 - [Andy B]

This one could be a dark horse.
If People Magazine could somehow actually get the words "Old Douche" on the cover, the world would end.



10 - [Lee L]

Just because it says "Penis."

Buries It Approves

Hightlights from last night.
From [TSN]

Sabu makes a sick save.
Check out 66's reaction.

TSN doesn't let you embed, but check out the screen cap.

That shirt is illegal in five states.

Go Pens

St. Louis Blue Season Preview

Who gives a shit about the blues.



Apparently that cracker.

John Davidson looks like Dr. Phil.



Brad "Little" Boyes is a solid player for them, but whatev.

Hossa might score 50 goals against them.

Go Pens

Photoshop Challenge

Rules are simple.

Photoshop this picture below.

We won't post them all, but bring the noise.

Mike Richards would look good in this:




Go Pens

Malkin City. pens win

Charlie made an appearance if you streamed the game on the Gore.
Thanks to everyone who sent it along.
It never gets old.

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

[ Yahoo Recap ]

Hell yeah.


Speaking of Yahoo, Ross the Boss McKeon dishes out his Penguin preview.
[ Here ]

Gameday [Preseason]: 1967 vs Penguins

7:38


The game means nothing, so the Leafs will win.


Important:

The game is being streamed live on the internet.

[Penguins.com]

There will be no announcers. It is a raw feed of the jumbotron.
Which is better than listening to the Canadian feed.


:::::::::::::::::::::::::::

:: Bing is out tonight, groin injury. [pg]

:: The big news of the day though, is Gonch is out for what could be awhile with a dislocated shoulder.[pp]

“Sergei will continue to be evaluated as our team medical personnel consider several treatment options,” Shero said. “In the meantime, we will look for our other defensemen to step up and fill the void created by his absence.”

Huge times for Letang and Goligoski.



::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::



Go Pens

Those Tricky Penguin Haters

In a perfect world, this kids house will burn down:

New York Rangers Season Preview

We were going to email [Bullshit Bulletin] for his take on the Rangers.
But we figured his computer still has water damage from all the crying he did in the playoffs last year.

So we're going to preview the Rangers.

Our thoughts?

Glen Sather eats poop.


Have fun without Double J.



Go Pens

Yep

[Stoosh]

Is it 12 days?
We're to lazy too count.

Game tonight at Mellon city.

Pens made cuts yesterday.

From the [PG]:

Forwards Kris Beech, Ryan Stone and Jonathan Filewich were among 13 players assigned to Wilkes-Barre/Scranton of the American Hockey League. That leaves 29 players -- 16 forwards, 10 defensemen and three goaltenders -- on the Penguins' roster, which must be cut to 24 before the team leaves Saturday for Sweden. The others sent to the Baby Penguins are forwards Adam Henrich, Aaron Boogard, Tim Wallace, David Gove and Christopher Minard, defensemen Deryk Engelland, T.J. Kemp, Ben Lovejoy and Joey Mormina, and goaltender David Brown.


Sonni Abatta = Stunned


Go Pens.

Avalanche 2008-09 Preview

Joe @ MHH here, bringing you the lowdown on the Avalanche from [MileHighHockey.com.]

Thanks to the heroes behind the Pensblog (and especially Charlie, wink wink), I'm honored to bring you all a preview of the Colorado Avalanche as the 2008-09 season nears. Why should you care about the Avalanche? Because your bitter defeat at the hands of the nefarious Red Wings in the finals last season makes you brothers and sisters to all Avalanche fans everywhere.

We Avs fans feel your pain. The Avalanche went 0-4 against the Red Wings in the regular season, and then 0-4 in the playoffs, for a grand total of 8 losses in 8 games last season. You think losing in the Stanley Cup Finals hurts? Well, I don't know if it does because the Avalanche have never lost in the Stanley Cup Finals. Sorry, I digress. Losing eight games straight to your arch rivals is pretty lousy. What I'm trying to say is, we feel your pain, and you no doubt feel ours.

So the preview.

There was a distinct possibility that the Joe Sakic era in Colorado would be over this summer. Super Joe, our patron saint and savior, took his sweet time figuring out if he wanted to come back or not. Thankfully, he figured one more season wouldn't hurt too bad---and neither would another $6 million. If that piece of shit Chelios can keep playing, you know Joe can do it. Consider it a Christmas present in August.

So Sakic returns as captain and leader of the Avalanche offense. That offense is not quite as impressive as it was back in the day, but it's still got some punch. Still hanging around is Milan Hejduk, who can score a few goals when he's got a decent center feeding him the puck. The other grizzled veteran is Ryan Smyth, who had a rough year under a lousy coach (Joel Quenneville) and will hopefully be back to his old pain-in-the-slot hijinks that made him famous in Edmonton.

The rest of the offense is pretty young. Paul Stastny, one of the four or five best young players in the entire NHL, is back and will lead the second line. His fellow young scoring threats, Wojtek Wolski and Marek Svatos, are also back for more fun. Wolski is a superb skater and passer, and Svatos is a dynamite finisher, especially off of rebounds.

Those six, Sakic, Hejduk, Smyth, Stastny, Wolski and Svatos, are the main scoring threats. The rest of the forwards, with the exception of one guy, are all agitators and bangers. Ian Laperriere, the heart and soul of the team, will lead a rag tag bunch of third and fourth liners to spend literally hours in the penalty box, no doubt. New pickups include Darcy Tucker and Swedish bad boy Per Ledin, along with returning toughs Ben Guite, Codys McLeod and McCormick, and Scott Parker. The one exception to this impressive band of dickheads is Tyler Arnason, who can neither hit nor score with any regularity. He's weak on defense, weak on offense, and has about as much heart as that "Amumshiba" guy from Temple of Doom.

Oh yeah, and Peter Forsberg might come back some time. Nobody really knows. So I won't hold out too much hope that we'll get to see more of this:

All of those guys could be your dad.

Other players to look out for are whippersnappers TJ Hensick, Chris Stewart, David Jones and Jack Combs, who could all be making the transition from the minors soon, depending on how bad everybody else gets hurt this year.

The defense is the most solid part of the Avalanche, at least until the injuries start piling up again. Adam Foote re-signed over the summer and will lead the blueliners. The top six include Foote, Brett Clark, male model John-Michael Liles, Ruslan Salei, Scott Hannan and constantly-wounded Jordan Leopold. Or "Leoprone," as we call him at MHH. In that bunch you have hitters, passers and scorers, and they should provide pretty solid support for the Avalanche goalie.

And who is that goalie? That goalie's name is Peter Budaj. Not Andrew Raycroft, who sucked something awful for Toronto, and not some unnamed minor leaguer, either. Peter Budaj. After three seasons with the Avalanche spent almost entirely in the shadow of Jose Theodore, Budaj will finally get his chance to be the undisputed number one goalie. And he's earned it. Though his overall record is okay but not awesome, he's excelled any time he's been given consistent starts. Over at MHH, I noted that in the four times he's been given extended, uninterrupted starts, Budaj has gone 31-10-7. While some Avalanche "fans" have convinced themselves that Budaj is unreliable or unready, we at MHH are fully confident he will be a solid starter.

As far as the coaching staff goes, the Avalanche will have a new but old face behind the bench. Tony Granato, once the head coach for a brief period before Joel Quenneville's reign began at the end of the Lockout, will get a second chance. Granato actually has the best winning percentage of any of the four past Avalanche coaches, but he had a much better lineup back in the day. If he's really that good, the soft spots in the current lineup won't make any difference to him.

I'm crossing my fingers as hard as I can.

If you've read all of this, you're a hero. Congrats.

If you're just skipping along, all you really need to know about the Avalanche is that they could finish anywhere between 3rd and 10th in the West. At least that's how it looks to me. There are a lot of unknowns and unpredictables at work this year.

Personally, I'll be happy if the Avs just get to kick the crap out of the Wild again in the playoffs. That whole organization sucks. F them. Calgary sucks, too.

Wish us luck.

PENS WIN

[ Yahoo recap ]

HEROES GAMEDAY

GET PUMPED FOR THE MOST ENTHRALLING THREE HOURS OF YOUR EXTENDED WEEKEND.

WE'RE NOT TALKING ABOUT THE STEELER GAME,
WHICH ACTUALLY CHRISTENED OUR NEW NICKNAME FOR ROETHLISBERGER:
THE BIG POTATO

ANOTHER AWESOME THREE HOURS WOULD BE THAT PENGUIN TEAM PLAYING TONIGHT IN TAMPA.

SCOOD MISSILE IS OUT WITH BRUISED RIBS.
EATON WILL PLAY BY HIMSELF IN ONE OF THE PAIRINGS.

THE USUAL REPLACEMENT FOR SCUDERI WON'T BE THERE TONIGHT.
HE'S GOT SOMETHING ELSE GOING ON:

WHICH BRINGS US TO THOSE AWESOME THREE HOURS WE ARE TOUCHING OURSELVES ABOUT.

HOLD ONTO YOUR RECTI.
IT'S GONNA BE UNREAL.

GO PENS.
"LOST" SUCKS.

Florida Panthers: The Litter Box - Season Preview

This is the small one.

Hello all, from Whale4ever from The Litter Box. Here's the preview that millions have awaited, nations have fought over, and promises change we can ALL believe in.

Presumably, very few in the hockey world are unfamiliar with the history of the Florida Panthers (whether they wish to be or not..!)

• Set a record for most points by a first-year NHL team in their inaugural season of 1993-94.



• An unlikely trip to the SC finals two years later, only to be swept by the powerhouse troika of the Roy/Forsberg/Sakic-led Avalanche.



• Scott Mellanby's warm relationship with the ASPCA



• Gave up Stu Barnes for Chris Wells. Ouch.



• Grabbed Pavel Bure - and later his brother - in what appeared to be a masterstroke.



• Lost Bure - and later his brother - not long after.



• Hired and fired Mike Keenan - twice. Inexcusable.



• 
  
  Stole the pants off of Islanders GM Mike Milbury by acquiring Roberto Luongo and Olli Jokinen. In the same deal. Did Oleg Kvasha really have that much upside? Ask the Isles.



• Promoted a power struggle versus Luongo by taking him to arbitration in 2005, leading to a long and drawn-out divorce. For the record, neither side appears to have been innocent.



• Bertuzzi. Nuff said.



• Sent longtime Cat Jokinen packing, a deal which many - through ignorance of the return? - still criticize.



• Made world news - and YouTube immortality - for the most unfortunate of reasons: Richard Zednik.



• Seven years out of the postseason, early-year struggles, late-year comebacks, injuries, changes in management, the kids never pan out, J-Bo is G-Bye, yada yada.
  
  
  On the precipice of yet another new season, and naysayers are simply going through their annual motions, sharpening the knives and ready to pull the plug yet again on the forever 11th of 12th or 13th place Cats, will past history finally make way for a bright future?
  
  A few items of note are important when discussing this year's Florida Panthers, version 15.
  
  Managing owner Alan Cohen has been in place for seven years. Agreed, no playoffs, and LOTS of turnover in mangement, but perhaps his decision to hold on to Jacques Martin as GM, after firing him as coach, was his signature move, if not the most highly divisive. Stuck by Jokinen as a staunch ally, finally giving permission to deal him once the writing was on the wall. Some semblence of familiarity by management, for the players, fans, league, can only be a good thing at this point. He has steadfastly commited to the future of the club in Sunrise, and allowed his front office team to do their bidding, without his meddling - at least publicly.


• Olli Jokinen is now a former Panther. All signs point to his having a productive and prolific year - if not career - in Phoenix, and there is not a Cat fan anywhere who doesn't bow to his loyalty and commitment to the community. He was not, however, an effective leader in Florida, all too often remaining what appeared to be passive when the heat was on. Often-criticized buddy-buddy relationships with a few subordinates - impressionable Nate Horton comes immediately to mind - did not assist his status as captain. He was just too nice. An apparently negative relationship with coach Martin ("We don't go out to dinner" is but one of the loaded quotes in their time together), though probably mutual, went far in sealing his fate. Jokinen's days in Sunrise were effectively over following that fateful night in February, inadvertantly horribly injuring teammate Zednik. He was a lost soul after that game in Buffalo, never to recover, which fortunately allowed several others, including the rapid emergence of David Booth - The Dood himself - to ascend to higher spots on the roster. The captaincy remains up for grabs, though many believe the short list includes Stephen Weiss, Cory Stillman, and Bryan McCabe.



• JM is "just" the GM now. Martin completes his third full summer in charge of the club, and no one can argue his accomplishments (Vokoun, Ballard, "The Beach" Boynton, Stillman, coach DeBoer, morphing Bertuzzi into Matthias and Roberts into Welch, the Rochester situation)...basically undoing - and hopefully stting right - the Keenan era. Tough times as coach reached a breaking point with captain Jokinen, to the tune of no turning back. Cries of misery were unleashed following JM's retention of the general manger's spot, many of those cries having a solid basis: too cozy with the owner, not enough positive change in the building, a "boring", defensively-based on-ice philosophy. The guy will never have a Bryan Burke personality, but his soft-spoken demeaner seems to have worked well upstairs, if not in the dressing room. Freed of the day-to-day constraints which shackled him as a Head Coach/GM, Martin should - should - find the creative and strategic juices he'll need to create a winner, if he can divorce himself completely from the coaching side of the game. Did he install a puppet in Peter DeBoer? A fine scouting department, along with assistant GM Randy Sexton, complement his lack of experience in the office, and let's be honest: anyone who attempts to undue an Iron Mike legacy in a market such as this is worthy of at least an honest shot. You've gotta admire his spunk. Give him three more years to get his design to the promised land.
  
  
  On to the roster. We'll shake it up up a bit and begin with the tenders.
  
  Goaltending

Tomas Vokoun

Carryovers: Tomas Vokoun (starter), Craig Anderson (backup).
Newbs: None.
Lost: None.
On the farm: Tyler Plante, David Shantz, Tyler Beckford-Tseu.

Vokoun (30-29-8, .919, 2.25, 4 SO) has been hailed around the hockey media from "elite" to "servicible" (no, I don't get that one either.) He has proven himself to be a number one in the west, having routinely fended off the likes of Detroit and San Jose, and among Southeast netminders (where the wins matter most) he is arguably at the top of the division. 2007-08, his first with the Cats, placed high expectations squarely on his shoulders, and unfairly so, given the fluctuating status of the defensive squad in front of him. With a solid - SOLID - core before him in J-Bo, Allen, Ballard, The Beach, Murphy, McCabe, etc, T-Vo's stats will edge upward. If the offense takes flight, the wins will grow as well. To most of the more insightful Cat fans, Vokoun was in essence the captain of this club last year. His outspoken demeanor and Mike Liut-style comments reflected his desire to win at all costs, even basically naming names when fewer than the entire roster showed up on any given night. A refreshing change, and a welcome show of emotion for fans who have grown way too accustomed to insightful bromides from Jokinen, such as "we've got to play as a team". A few more nights off wouldn't hurt.

Anderson, who made headlines as the first goaltender - starter or otherwise - in league history to record back-to-back shutouts on the road (90+ saves!), returns as the undisputed secondary netminder. Toward the latter half of the year, Martin played him with more frequency, and given his increasing success during each start, this was a wise move. Vokoun was beaten up, and Andy (8-6-1, .935, 2.25, 2 SO) deserved the opportunity, paving the way for more starts under coach DeBoer this season. Also known for an uncanny ability to spot janitorial talent. Yeah, I used it again.

Cory Murphy

Defense

Carryovers: Bryan Allen, Cory Murphy, Jay Bouwmeester, Karlis Skrastins, Noah Welch, Wade Belak (F/D), Rory Fitzpatrick (yeah, THAT Rory Fitzpatrick).
Newbs: Keith Ballard, Bryan McCabe, Nick Boynton
Lost: Mike Van Ryn, Magnus Johansson, Steve Montador, Branislav Mezei, Jassen Cullimore
On the farm: Keaton Ellerby, Luke Beaverson, Mike Caruso

"Formidable" is not an exaggeration when perusing a defensive roster containing names such as Ballard, McCabe, Allen, The Beach, J-Bo (for now, at least), Murphy, and Skrastins. Consider the potential of Ellerby, the 10th overall pick in 2007, and the loss of Mezei is somewhat reduced in importance. Sarcasm, peeps.

Montador was, before his departure, a favorite for the captaincy, and he certainly embodied all the right attributes. A popular and versatile d-man who could play forward in a pinch, he was oftentimes the only experienced enforcer on the club, and not a heavyweight at that.

Tomas Vokoun has to be sleeping much more soundly these days, knowing a more-than-competent group of soldiers will be minding the zone in front of him. A major problem last year, given Murphy, Van Ryn, and Welch's long-term health troubles, a full-bore turnover of talent hopes to ignite the ranks of defensemen. McCabe brings a big-league shot, Ballard can hit anything open-ice, and few if any want to tangle with The Beach. Skrastis is much more consistent and "safer" than Salei, and Murphy is a proven second-line PP quarterback.

The future of Bouwmeester and his recently-minted one-year deal will, of course, always figure in to any discussion of Florida's blueline. Many pundits have already deemed him gone, and that may well be the case. A popular theory is that he and his agent are in a holding pattern of sorts, waiting to see whether the new DeBoer regime, along with summer pickups, can translate to a winning atmosphere on the ice, before deciding to hit the trail. If he chooses to depart, the Cats will score and score big at the trade deadline in filling holes. We're way ahead of Jokinen here, and JM is no Keenan. Either way, he doesn't walk come UFA day.

Ellerby will most likely wind up in Rochester for at least the next season after a progressive (23 points in 53 games, 81 PIM) campaign with Moose Jaw of the WHL. Former Rochester defenseman Fitzpatrick was simply an experienced roster spot fill-in for the Amerks, and is probably eyed for the captaincy. A solid PR move by Martin for the now-sole Panthers American League affiliate.

Nathan Horton

Forwards

Carryovers: Stephen Weiss, David Booth, Nathan Horton, Richard Zednik, Rostislav Olesz, Gregory Campbell, Ville Peltonen, Radek Dvorak, Wade Belak (F/D), Kamil Kreps, Brett McLean
Newbs: Cory Stillman
Lost: Olli Jokinen, Jozef Stumpel
On the farm: Shawn Matthias, Anthony Stewart, Michael Frolik, Drew Larman, Janis Sprukts (again...)

Much has been made of the loss of former captain Olli Jokinen, but the departure must be split into two discussions. One was covered above, that of the leadership question. The other is obvious: just how does JM replace those 34 goals (and -19...yikes!)?

Cory Stillman was a wise choice. He's been generally consistent (602 points in 839 games, 20 goals-plus in eight seasons), if a bit injury-prone. In the 2006 playoffs, he posted 26 points in 25 games, and two Stanley Cup etchings certainly don't detract from his pedigree. At 34, is he ready to do it all again? He's unquestionably good for 20 goals, but does the right set-up man reside here? DeBoer had better find a center for him, and fast. No time for experimentation here. The big upside? Florida doesn't have to play against him. Goals taken away are goals scored.

(Eternally) Potential power-forward Nathan Horton (drafted 3rd overall in 2003, directly behind Carolina's Eric Staal) continues to be an enigma. Oozing with talent, he has yet to deliver on the promise (27-35-62, +15, 85 PIM...most of which came after moving off of Olli's line). This is no surprise to anyone following the Cats. In fact, bring up any of Florida's recent first rounders with NHL experience (Weiss, Bouwmeester, and Olesz stand high) and "low return" comes to mind. Is this the year for Nate? Perhaps the long-rumored switch to center will seal it.

David Booth had a phenomenal (22-18-40, +13) second year, which only improved once matched with the horrifically-named "Sunrise Express" line partnering him with Horton and Weiss. It's easy to imagine The Dood overachieving, to the tune of 35 goals, but this is most likely entirely unrealistic on a club constructed such as this. Bank on 25 and be happy.

Stephen Weiss: first-line or second-line? Therein lies the question. Another question: captain or not?

Richard Zednik is skating and all signs point to him being in the opening night lineup. If he stays there, look for 15 goals if he gets comfy on the right line.

The real question mark here is Olesz. Rusty made great strides were last season, resulting in 26 points (14 goals). This kid has the speed, the shot, the character. Will losing his mentor (Stumpel) constrain or release him?

We all know about Belak and his pugillistic skills. Brett McLean is the definitive "energy" forward.

The underlying excitement for this year comes in the form of Shawn Matthias. Acquired from the Wings in return for rental Todd Bertuzzi (the most glaring of very few black marks on Detroit GM Ken Holland's resume), Matthias has dazzled with Belleville of the OHL (56 gp, 32-47-79!, +21) while banging out 2 goals in four games for the Cats last year due to an emergency call-up. Kudos to JM for not pushing a good thing, keeping him here and wearing him out.

Frolik likely will see a full season in Rochester, while Stewart, ever the dilemma, could wind up anywhere. One thing is for certain: it's his last chance to avoid the title of "draft bust".

DeBoer (l), and JM the GM

Coaching

Former Kitchener Rangers coach Peter DeBoer takes the helm of his first non-juniors position. An unusual ascension, but generally considered around the NHL to have been in high demand; the Senators had him in their sights. P-De promises a far more up-tempo, fire-wagon attacking game, as opposed to JM's slower (boring?) defensive approach. Considering the blue-line guns at his disposal, this will result in an exciting, crash-the-net type of offense, sorely missing in Sunrise, well, forever, minus the one-man highlight reel of Pavel Bure. Just recently 40, DeBoer will be under the microscope of many this year, especially those clubs that passed on him. If he can resist the temptation of consulting his general manager for coaching decisions, he'll be fun to watch. The contests against Tampa's offense and Florida's defense should be classic.

What is the sum of these parts? Sounds like a cop-out, but who really knows? There are so many new variables in place, not to mention a division whose character is constantly changing...obvious answers are impossible.

One thing is certain: this is a Cats club that is - for better or worse - like no other.

Bea Arthur and Mario Lemieux Think You Should Play Fair

Thanks to [Bar] for the tip.

This clip is from [PSAMP]



And we have to agree.
They don't make PSA's like they used to.


Buries It.


Go Pens

Gameday [3]: Steelers @ Philly

Scumbag city

4:15 PM


Go Pens
Go Steelers

BREAKING NEWS: NHL TO ABOLISH PRESEASON

Taking a cue from the NFL, the NHL may put skirts on all of their players and get rid of the preseason so that players don't get unnecessarily injured.

Fake Sergei Gonchar disagrees however.
When asked questions about his injury, Gonchar was quoted saying:

Well, you know, hockey players actually exert energy on the ice,
as opposed to football players who do something athletic for, what, 4 minutes a game?

See, we're not pansies like football players in the NFL.
We're not overpaid prima donnas who touch ourselves.
We play our respective sport with an enormous amount of passion.
Our balls are sweating at the end of the game.
And guess what, we play on a sheet of ice, so go figure that one out.

Seen Stamkos? Pens Lose

5-4 [OT]



[Jaos]


We'll post Anthem pics this year, but just not everyone we get.

:::::::::::

It was a pretty fun game to listen to.
But let it be said, the guy who broadcast the Lightning game needs to be drop kicked.
What a psycho path.

Some notes:

:: Sykora had 2 goals
:: Barry Melrose pooped during intermission, and the lightning onwership group spread it on their faces.
Homo

:: Bing scored
:: Satan was around, he missed his shootout attempt.
:: Stamjokos won it for the lightning.
:: God got into a fight.

The biggest news is that Gonch may be hurt, after David Koci took a run at him.
No word on anything.
But everyone seems to think it is a shoulder.

Here is the hit that Koci landed on Gonch, and then the God fight.



Not to job BGL, but he didn't go looking for people last year. God will protect you.


Hopefully Gonch is okay.

Cue the yahoo article by Ross Mckeon cutting the Pens out of the playoffs.
Douche.

But not has big as douche as these guys:
[Thanks to Jaos]


::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

[ Empty Netters] has their usual top notch recap.

:: Leahy from [goingfivehole] found this from a Tampa Blogger talking about WWGRD.
[Lightning Strikes]

WWGRD? It means What Would Gary Roberts Do? It was a slogan not only in the Penguins locker room last season but around the city. Some players even wore wristbands with the notation.

They must have ordered Skippy's on Ebay.



Go Pens

Gameday Preseason[1]: Penguins vs Pittsburgh South

Home Sweet home.

7:30 PM


Game should be available somewhere to hear on the Internet.
It is not available to watch, or so we think.

Check [Penguins.com] and [WXDX] for it.



:: Bing and Malkin are playing.

Satan is also expected to play. [Penguins.com]




:: For Tampa Bay, Joke Stamkos is playing.
Gary Roberts will not, his retirement home is having a bingo tourney.


::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

It is now time to forget about last season.
Which means it is time to bring out our friend the Haitian from Heroes.


Go Pens

Reporting for The Pensblog - Day 3

Jesse Marshall from Faceoff Factor here, let's close out the training camp reports for the year.

Lines for today:

Team White:

Miroslav Satan – Sidney Crosby – Pascal Dupuis
Ruslan Fedotenko – Max Talbot – Matt Cooke
Eric Godard – Kris Beech – Luca Caputi
Ryan Stone – Mark Letestu – Tim Wallace

Sergei Gonchar – Brooks Orpik
Darryl Sydor – Alex Goligoski
Ben Lovejoy – Danny Richmond

David Brown
Marc-Andre Fleury

Team Black:

Jordan Staal – Evgeni Malkin – Petr Sykora
Janne Pesonen – Jeff Taffe – Tyler Kennedy
Adam Henrich – Bill Thomas – Connor James
Paul Bissonnette – Dustin Jeffrey – Johnathan Filewich

Hal Gill – Jonathan D’Aversa
Mark Eaton – Kristopher Letang
TJ Kemp – Deryk Engellend

John Curry
Dany Sabourin

Team Black finally won a scrimmage, 5-4 in a shootout. For the full scrimmage rundown, head over to the Factor.

I said this at the start of camp, and it bears repeating today. Miroslav Satan is the real deal. Here's a perfect example of why I think he's the winger best suited for Sidney Crosby: the play shifts to the far corner. Crosby grabs the puck and everyone turns toward him. While Crosby is making his move, right behind the defense comes Miroslav Satan. He stops at the far post, and leans forward, Crosby glances, then fires the puck at him, and he taps the biscuit home and skates away. The defense sits there looking completely stunned.

But let's forget about his offensive capability for a second. If you were at camp today, you saw that he's completely apt in the defensive zone and backchecks pretty well too. In a few months, methinks we won't be caring what Mr. Hossa is doing up at the crime capital of the U.S.

Think about this, c-blog: our star centers now each have a proven sniper to finish those ridiculous passes they can make. Sykora/Satan in 08'.

Don't judge Pascal Dupuis yet, either. He does quite a bit on that first line that a lot of other guys wouldn't. It's his speed and his boardwork that could be the catalyst that allows Sid to get the puck where he needs to.

Today in practice, Mark Eaton's stick broke. It was refreshing seeing his equipment break and not one of his bones.

Do yourselves a favor and peep a WB/S game on internet TV this year. The group of defensemen they have heading back there are pretty talented. It'll be a fun year to follow the Baby Penguins.

For more, head over to my recap on the Factor.

Thanks again to Adam and Derek for letting me have the keys to this baby. We'll see you guys in c-blog next year. Enjoy, and go Pens!

Eaton/Letang 08'

:: The PG brings the pain on Eaton. [PG]
If you can't rally behind Mark Eaton, you're a waste.

:: The PG also has a sweet piece on Pesonen.[PG]

He got the attention of management, and the hundreds of fans who attended the workout, with his speed. It was particularly evident when he split two defensemen for a breakaway in the mid-practice scrimmage, although goalie Marc-Andre Fleury and bumpy ice conspired to prevent him from scoring.

That didn't seem to upset the front office much -- "I've seen Fleury stop Jeff Carter on a breakaway, too," Shero said -- but Pesonen clearly was unhappy that he failed to convert that opportunity.

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Here are some highlights from one of the scrimmages yesterday:

[Penguins.com] has more


::::::::::::::::::::::
::::::::::::::::::::::

Town Hallblog

[Thanks to Jonathan V]

The general feeling in Penguin nation is that the Town Hall meeting was a success.
We heard a lot of people showed up and shit.
[Penguins.com]
[Dave R.]

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Go Pens

The Fire Is Burning

If there are any Dr. Phil's out there worrying about our mental state,
we were jump-started Thursday night at 8:47.

Got in the car, turn to 1250, and old-school Boys of Winter blasts onto the radio.

Reporting for The Pensblog... Round 2

Jesse Marshall from Faceoff Factor here again, reporting for Adam and Derek. Day two of camp is in the books. Let's get down to business.

Rob Scuderi was M.I.A. today. And I don't mean Paper Planes. He didn't participate in either drill session or the scrimmage. No word on what the deal is.

Lines were as follows:

Team White:

Offense:

Miroslav Satan – Sidney Crosby – Pascal Dupuis
Matt Cooke – Max Talbot – Ruslan Fedotenko
Luca Caputi – Kris Beech – Eric Godard
Tim Wallace – Chris Minard – Mark Letestu

Defense:

Sergei Gonchar – Brooks Orpik
Darryl Sydor – Alex Goligoski
Danny Richmond – Ben Lovejoy

Goal:

John Curry
Dany Sabourin

Team Black:

Offense:

Jordan Staal – Evgeni Malkin – Petr Sykora
Janne Pesonen – Jeff Taffe – Tyler Kennedy
Adam Henrich – Bill Thomas – Connor James
Paul Bissionette – Dave Gove – Derek Boogaard

Defense:

Kristopher Letang – Mark Eaton
Joey Mormina – Derek Engellend
TJ Kemp – Hal Gill

Goal:

David Brown
Marc-Andre Fleury

Notes:

People like to dump on Dany Sabourin, but he's yet to allow a goal in scrimmaging, and he actually looked uber-sharp in the drills today. Same can be said for Fleury, he exhibited a lot of big time saves today.

Jordan Staal = Reinvigorated.

Legame = $$$.

Luca Caputi looked decent today despite an injured hip, and I think Tyler Kennedy may have gained a step in the offseason, his skating today was unreal.

Janne Pesonen. He's good, but who do you put him in the lineup with? More importantly, who do you sit in leiu of him? Can you? I'll leave that up to C-blog, but my .2 is that, at this point, it's an uphill battle for Goldmember.

Stop by the Factor to check out the rest of the thoughts. Including a rundown of an absolutely stellar performance by WB/S head coach Dan Bylsma in goal against Staal. You know that moment in wrestling where some dude runs down the ramp out of nowhere and dominates the show? That happened today, and Staal was on the receiving end of some surprise defense.

On a lighter note, the lady that sat behind me tricked her kids into thinking they were going to see actual Penguins. The kids were stunned when dudes came walking out of the runway. It was unreal.

See you guys tomorrow - 2 down - 1 to go.

Oilers Season Preview! With Links! (Did I Mention the Links?)

What a difference a year makes.

Last year at this time I was getting myself all geared up for countless games of heartbreak and sorrow. I was expecting my hopes to be crushed like so many nuts in 80’s teen movies (always hilarious). But, like Chet in Weird Science, secretly I was probably loving it, too. That pain never actually materialized.

Oh sure, the Torres and Stoll show was pretty frustrating. Seeing Souray play a quarter of the season was a let-down, and keeping Roloson in net far past his due date out of loyalty, well…it’s something you live with as a fan. This year Garon likely gets starting position and we'll see if he can take the sustained pressure.

And that leads us to the shootouts, those glorious shootouts and their even better precursors: 4 on 4 overtime. The Oilers only had so many because they couldn’t hang on to a lead, but still, high drama and top-notch entertainment for any hockey fan.

So, while my predictions of suck pretty much came true for last season, something happened I (or anyone else) did not expect. The Rise of Youth.

And that brings us to this year’s Ruminations for a Portending Season.

A First Glance

This year the Edmonton Oilers go into Training Camp with less holes than any other year I can remember in my adult life. Two years ago fans were worried about a thin and inexperienced Defensive squad, last year it was Forward depth and ability. This year it’s a Tough Guy and odds and ends (LH top-line winger, anyone?). But overall, Team Oilers hasn’t looked this good since the Fresh Prince sat on his throne in Bel-Aire (yo holmes, smell ya later) and bangs were better sprayed in the upright position (that’s what she said).

GM Kevin Lowe (who has sincle been bumped up to be replaced by Steve Tambellini) started off early and strong with the backing of new, improved owner, Daryl Katz (honest to god billionaire Drug Lord). Shooting off players who have promising careers, but didn’t fit with Edmonton plans anymore, Matt Greene and Jarrett Stoll (Mr. Rachel Hunter) found themselves down in the land of flesh and plastic, new pieces of the LA Kings, and in return we got Lubomir Visnovsky, a smallish, but excellent Dman to play on a top PP line with a rehabbed Sheldon Souray. Together, with skilled feeds from Ales Hemsky, squirrely moves from a young Sam (The Hobbit) Gagner, and smart decision maker Shawn Horcoff, that PP unit is gonna smack up some bitches, bitch!

Next out was Raffi Torres (#5 1st round, 2000)...and allegedly his, er...nose -snif sniff if you know what I mean- in an odd play for Gilbert Bule. Gilbert Bru-Who? You say? Well, that’s what I said, anyway. Gilby, we’ll call him, was chosen 6th overall in the 2005 NHL Entry Draft. If Sidney Crosby wasn’t stealing the limelight that year, Brule probably would’ve been the #1 Canadian pick in that draft. For reals. He had promise, but was rumoured to have been poorly used by the Blue Jackets and never lived up to the potential he showed and that Columbus was hoping to get out of him.

At any rate, will he factor into the Oilers line up on opening day? Unlikely, but he’ll be getting a chance to regain his skill and edge in the AHL this year and probably get more than a cup of coffee as the season rolls along. All in all, if he can get back into his game, this will have been a genius trade by Lowe.

Next up was the loss of Joni Pitkanen. As a fan it was hard to really like the guy. He seems to have the personality of a limp sardine, but he’s a beauty skater and knows how to put up points. He was traded to Carolina (and subsequently signed there) and back our way came 2006 Stanley Cup Champion and insane warrior Erik Cole. This is a man who played in the Finals with a broken neck! He not only held his own last year, but was a plus player on a struggling team. He’s smart, fired-up and will add skill, grit, and experience on whatever forward line he finds himself on.

As off season fans know, The Edmonton Oilers also tried to sign Marian Hossa, but ultimately failed as he opted to sign for less money on an almost indestructible Detroit Red Wings team. In the process fans lost newcomer Curtis Glencross, that goddam dink, to the Calgary Falmes. He signed for more than he’s worth and will play on at least a third line, but more power to him. Some people think he’s a no-good, turncoat traitor, but not me. Nope, not me…

And here we find ourselves, TC a few days away and the Oilers roster pretty much decided on already. There are maybe two spots in contention for a whole squadron of talented up and comers in the Edmonton Oilers system all vying for a slim shot at the NHL. It’ll be interesting to see who makes it and who breaks a limb trying.



What to look for this season:

Youth is the Truth Forsooth

Sam Gagner, Andrew Cogliano, Robert Nilsson, Kyle Brodziak, Tom Gilbert (D), Denis Grebeshkov(D), Ladislav Smid(D), Marc Pouliot.

Get to know this group of jail-bait. All under 25, all up and coming names in the NHL and all on one team. Each one of them took so many steps forward last season, that even if they take a step back with the old “sophomore jinx” they’ll still be players. On that front alone, the Oilers will be worth watching. How many of the names on that list are going to full-on break out this season? Granted, most of them will be playing tougher minutes/reduced minutes this year, but it’s going to be a riot to see the development of these kids. Who says MacT can't develop youth?

Older, Bolder, Colder

Shawn Horcoff, Sheldon Souray(D), Erik Cole, Fernando Pisani, Ethan Moreau, Steve Staios(D), Lubomir Visnovsky(D)

These guys are the dirty over thirties your momma warned you about. They bring huge experience to the table and are just starting to get the bitter angry strength that eventually becomes Old Man Power. Real life hero and walking miracle Fernando Pisani is just one part of a core group of highly intelligent men on this Oilers team. And that’s where other teams are going to have to watch out and pray to Gary Bettman when facing them. Shawn Horcoff is possibly the smartest man in hockey today (Chelios deserves a runner up here), and all of these guys see the game extremely well. Yeah, Souray can look like a pylon, but he’s also a hell of a lot better than his reputation. Ask the numbers guys to prove it. With numbers. They can. If Ethan “I hate milk” Moreau can keep his glass and sawdust limbs intact, then we’ve got a mean sonnufabitch to anchor a ridiculously decent fourth line.

Hemmer and the Dust

Dustin Penner is fat. There, I said it. Fat contract, fat body. Here’s hoping he’s actually gotten in shape to, you know, earn his millions? Last year it was just embarrassing watching him huffing and puffing , always a few steps behind the action and then crawling over the boards back to the bench where he was once again embraced (and maybe just a little fondled) by what I presume was…a Big Mac or something.

Ales Hemsky. Ales Hemsky has a scar on his neck. He was sliced open by a beer bottle in a bar fight.

That’s cred.

(not Ales Hemsky)

He still doesn’t have the LH winger he needs, but is surrounded by enough talent this season that he is GOING TO BLOW US ALL AWAY. Last year I said he would hit 90 points. He fell short (injury bug hit the Oilers like a muthafu**er), but this year, baby. This year.

Without a word of a lie, I will set up a personal scenario here. I was watching the January 4, 2007 game (Dallas vs. Oilers). Edmonton had just blown a huge lead and the clock was winding down. With seconds left, the net empty, the Oilers were trying to tie a 5-4 game to get to overtime. My buddy and I were drinking a gallon of red wine (classy) and he predicted Hemsky would tie it up.

“There’s no way they’re going to get that goal!” I shouted like an angry drunk fan, “Especially not Hemsky!”

“And what if he does?”

“If Hemsky scores, I will personally drive down the road to the rink, I will find Ales Hemsky and I will get down on my knees and I will suck his dick! I will put it in my mouth.”

One, I was drunk. Two, there were about 20 seconds left in the game. Three, homerotica is always funny.

And then this happened:



True to my word, I gave that amazing player the night of his life.

Well, actually I just screamed a lot in disbelief and got progressively more drunk and professed my undying love to my girlfriend. (That’s right, I’ve got a girlfriend, wanna fight about it?)

Anyway, Ales Hemsky. Helluva player.

So, the final analysis is this:

In the Northwest Division, it's going to be Edmonton and Calgary vying for top spot. Colorado with Thornton is still good, but age, man, it happens to us all (watches yellowed leaf float gently to the sundappled earth below), Vancouver sucks, and the oversized Mild have lost their way.

In the Western Conference playoff seeds, Edmonton finishes 6th or 7th. The Oilers are on the rise, but there's a couple years to go before they absolutely DOMINATE the NHL. Not one, not four, two. Maybe three. Book it, people. Write it down with pen.

And I’m done with this junk. I’m out of here. Maybe there’ll be a part two, and maybe this is it for your Oilers Season Preview.

Which will it be? Tune in...to find out!.

.

Reporting for The Pensblog...

Jesse Marshall here. You might know me from Faceoff Factor.

Derek, Adam & Co. were so kind as to give me the wheels to this tank, that way I can update you (the masses) on the happenings from training camp today. I'll warn you in advance, I'm not funny, and I don't use photoshops.

Regardless, here were the lines for today:

Team White:

Offense:

Miroslav Satan – Sidney Crosby – Pascal Dupuis
Ruslan Fedotenko – Max Talbot – Matt Cooke
Ryan Stone – Kris Beech – Eric Godard
Tim Wallace – Chris Minard – Dustin Jeffery

The extra line for team white’s offense that did not scrimmage but participated in morning drills was:

Nick Johnson – Keven Veilleux – Mark Letestu

Defense:

Sergei Gonchar – Brooks Orpik
Alex Goligoski – Darryl Sydor
Danny Richmond – Ben Lovejoy

Goal:

John Curry
Dany Sabourin

Team Black

Offense:

Jordan Staal – Evgeni Malkin – Petr Sykora
Janne Pesonen – Jeff Taffe – Tyler Kennedy
Connor James – Bill Thomas – Adam Henrich
Paul Bissonnette – David Gove – Johnathan Filewich

The extra line for team black that practiced but did not participate in drills was:

Joey Haddad – Casey Pierro-Zabotel – Luca Caputi

Defense:

Rob Scuderi – Hal Gill
Mark Eaton – Kristopher Letang
Joey Mormina – Deryk Engellend

Goal:

Marc-Andre Fleury
David Brown.

Random musings about the players you love:

Satan is the real deal, bank on it. Crosby found him in the scrimmage today for the first time and it was a beautiful thing. Satan has that uncanny ability to find the soft spot on the ice, just as advertised. If today was any indication, we'll be seeing a lot of "#81 Buries It" photoshops this year.

The Letang/Eaton pairing is everything that good defense is about. Letang's skating is even sharper now than it was last year, and a healthy Mark Eaton is always going to provide you with a constant defensive presence.

If you don't know who Danny Richmond is, look it up. He absolutely blew me away today. Stunned. If you don't believe it, stop over and visit Ian from Hockey's Future today. He was just as stunned as I was. He actually says that Richmond "...seems a logical choice to make the big club this year."

Janne Pesonen, Mr. Golden Helmet himself. Did he blow me away? No. Was he decent? Absolutely. I think he was rather hesitant for the first part of the scrimmage and then got a little more involved as the day went on.

For all you ladies out there concerned with Max Talbots looks? Dude has short hair and is sporting no facial hairstyle whatsoever. It was unreal.

For the rest of my musings, as well as a rundown of the scoring, visit the Factor.

Thanks to Derek and Adam for letting me have the keys to this behemoth. She drives like a beauty.

Out of the Closet

What's up, homos. Since the staff is too busy drinking their own pee between faceoffs on EASHL, I figured I could throw some business around here.

Adam and Derek shutting down commentorblog is probably the gayest thing I've ever seen.
And believe me. I've seen Neil Patrick Harris naked.

Speaking of wanting to see grown men naked, Pens training camp got under way on Wednesday.
The lines Andy Van Hellemond snorts before playoff games are more important than the lines that were seen at the first day of effin' training camp.

I get my news just like everyone else does. From their pubes.
And my pubes didn't mention anything about Janne Pesonen.
He's probably playing EASHL or some crap. Gay.

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

You have to like what the head honchos are doing over at TEAM PENSBLOG.
Let's face it. If you suck, you suck. You were born to suck.
Those were the first words my first boyfriend said to me in a gravely voice.
And it rings true in every facet of life.

Some of the players are committed to being the best. Nothing wrong with that.
Some other people are dragging them down.

A) If you're just online to play grab-ass, you're affecting other people's enjoyment.
Not cool.

B) If you're still learning to play NHL '09 and/or need to get better, keep faith in the scouting reports that NHL '09 provides.
You get those stats moving and shit, the big team will notice.
They wouldn't mind having the players that rise out of the poop.
You can't be hurt by playing too many games, team-wise.
Unless you suck.

The staff and I are 100% behind every decision the leaders of the EASHL teams make.

On a personal note, Pensblog Adam hasn't even bought the game yet, let alone XBOX LIVE.
Instead of drinking his urine, he's actually selling it to raise enough money for the endeavor.
Go find a fetish site online, and you'll see quality urine is at a premium.

He's also been a NHL2K boy the last couple seasons.
He's high if he thinks he gets a spot with the Pro team just because of who he is and how big his balls are.
Regrettably, I have yet to see them.

Whatev, homos. I'm out.
I turned comments back on until Hitler and Stalin come back and turn them off again.

A Big Tall Glass Of Calm Down Juice

For all of you out there that follow the Penguins from a distance,

Dave Molinari gets some answers about this season's NHL Center Ice package and the new online NHL Gamecenter. [ PG ]

Look out this year for both home and away feeds and more HD coverage. But pregame and postgame coverage are still not on the menu.

Gamecenter looks to be an undated version of last season NHL Center Ice Online,

only with the interesting option of having one game a night that will include multiple camera angles.

That being said, even with 3 cameras pointed at the ice, they'll still probably end up missing half the faceoffs.

: : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : :

:: [ Mirtle ] looks at the 08-09 Penguins in the light of "the runner-up curse".

The recent failures of Stanley Cup finalists has seen 10 of the past 11 miss the playoffs or eliminated in Round 1.

:: HCMT talks with the [ PG ] about the short training camp, and avoids answering the "Staal as a winger" question.

:: It's only a handful of games into the KHL season, but Jarom

ir Jagr has already Kevin Constantine'd the Avongard Omsk's head coach. [ Fanhouse ]

So that's what a Omsk looks like. Or is it an Avongard?

: : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : :

pictured: Steven Legein behind the wheel

:: Jes Golbez at [ Hockey Rants ] takes a look at burnout, something we know a thing or two about, and young hockey players. It also includes a great quote by Don Cherry on little kids who miss games for family vacations.

"That's not only my opinion," Cherry added, "but real hockey people think they're selfish rats who can't be counted on."

Geesh, someone have a traumatic experience on a trip to Disney World or what?

And listen, we love insulting 13 year olds just as much as the nice guy,

but the day Don Cherry becomes the spoke person for "real hockey people",

we'll turn in our NHL Network subscription and Aleksey Morozov bobblehead.


::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

PS3 Teampensblog is having a rough season.
We lost a crushing OT game last night to some homo french team.
We were beating the team all night.
Then this happened:

Kris Beech Isn't Bad At Everything

From [The BurghBlog]

Pittgirl tracks down a pic of Kris Beech, and Sonni Abatta.

What a joke

Vroom

What an ending

Carolina Hurricanes preview 2008

Hello Penguin Minions, Dave here from Carolina On Ice. When not bitching about lazy play, Sabres fans or old/slow players coming back to Raleigh - I'm either trying to promote college hockey or blogging about the Hurricanes at COI. Outside of the Al Gores, I sling shitters for a living (plumbing supply sales). It's more glorious than it sounds. You can find me at the majority of home games - usually folding up the tent and Coleman grill just in time to run inside for the puck drop.

Rehashing where things fell apart last season for the Hurricanes:

Carolina steam-rolled almost everyone for the first month of the season. It climaxed with a rowdy trip through Eastern Canada with big wins over the Leafs, Habs and a previously undefeated Ottawa team.

Injuries took their toll again as Justin Williams was out for the year by December, Matt Cullen got jacked up/concussed and Brind'amour was taken out during the Valentine's Day Penguins game with a torn ACL. Some kind of horrible flu struck the team (and the city of Raleigh) where you had to stay on the toilet with a bucket in front of you constantly. Glen Wesley had it and apparently lost several pounds during his bout with the sickness. It took out almost everyone on the team throughout the beginning of 2008.

Without much of a choice, Jim Rutherford added Sergei Samsonov from the waiver wire in January and he actually played like he gave a shit for once. Samsonov chalked up 34 points in 38 games with Carolina and quickly caught on with the Hurricanes' up-tempo, offensive style. He was awarded immediately following the season with a 3 year deal averaging $2.5 mil. Methinks the first third of this season will show if he's really ready to get his head straight and play a complete season.

The first notable trade of '08 saw Jim Rutherford ship Mike Commodore & Cory Stillman to Ottawa for Joe Corvo & Patrick Eaves. Most pundits immediately called this a win for the Sens as they got two veteran players with Stanley Cup rings. However, the man who had been known as "Uh-oh Joe" in OTT instead flourished with the 'Canes posting up 21 points in 23 games and Eaves shows loads of potential. Corvo is on for 2 more years and Eaves signed a 3-year deal this offseason. As for Stillman & Commie? They're both among the newest overpaid players in the league with the Panthers and the Blue Jackets, respectively. Who won the trade now, bitches?


So yeah, the Canes blew their chances at the end of the season. Their last game of the year on April 4th had the Panthers who were already eliminated. All Carolina had to do was beat them and the Southeast crown was theirs. Damnit.

2008-2009 for Carolina
Goners:
Erik Cole (traded to EDM)
Bret Hedican (old)
Glen Wesley (retired)
Keith Aucoin (free agent signing to WAS/Hershey)
John Grahame (sucks)
Joey Mormina (only played a game or two for Carolina, but did do this to Jeff Taffe and is now a Baby Pen. He's a 6'6" beast and sometimes rocks the porn-stache).

Newbs:
Joni Pitkanen (came in EDM trade)
Josef Melichar (been playing in Swedish league since he left Pitt)
Anton Babchuk (back from Russian exile after refusing to report to Albany in 06-07 season)
Dwight Helminen (some guy from Michigan who is a Finn. Or something.)
Michael Leighton (was the #1 goalie for the River Rats with a great season)
Brandon Sutter (first year as a pro, slated for 4th line center)
Maybe - Jeff O'Neill (here on a camp tryout after not playing for a year. Yes, that same Jeff O'Neill).

What might end up making or breaking the Hurricanes this year is consistent team defense and solid goal-tending. Those two haven't been around since the Cup run year. They come and they go. Scoring goals shouldn't be a problem as long as the forward corps can stay healthy. Even if they can't, last season showed that the stable in Albany was well-suited to fill in the holes.

"Somebody say something about filling holes?"

Player to watch for:
Tuomo Ruutu

He started his first game as a Hurricane with this boom lowering:

and immediately won the Caniacs over. He finished out the year with a good offensive showing. He was brought in through the Chicago trade for Andrew Ladd - a winger who much like himself, never seemed to live up to lofty expectations. Ruutu signed a one-year deal over the summer and if healthy should replace some of the grit and hustle that Erik Cole delivered for so long.

As for post-season chances? Carolina led the division for the majority of the year last season. Everyone seems to have a boner for the Capitals' chances this year. They've got arguably the best player in the world but they do have Jose Theodore in net. The Pittsburgh South Lightning might win a few games this season, but they'll probably have to do it with 9 to 8 wins considering their defense and lack of goal-tending.

I'm predicting a Southeast crown, a 3rd place ranking in the playoffs and overall badass year for the Hurricanes.

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::


Rod "the Bod" Brind'amour will get arrested for sexually assaulting one of his teammates.
That is about it.
What a joke division.

And Here We Go

Southside
9:00 am.


Camp Shero, year 3.




[Penguins.com]




Thank god.

Ads

Money is a bigger motivator than a pair of boobs sometimes.
We're doing ads now.

E-mail us if you're interested in stuff.
We don't know what we're doing, so you could probably take advantage of us.


EDIT:

Since we don't have to listen to peoples comments anymore.
We can go back to posting extremely offensive photoshops.

We received this one last season.

One of our all time favorites.
Credit to [Ian M]:



WOOOOOOOOOO

They Call It Riding The Gravy Train

State of the Pensblog Address

We walked down the street today and punched some girl in the nuts.
She had a bucket of KFC with her. We ate it.

Season Preview: Washington Caps

Ho. Lee. Crap.

I'm in control of The Pensblog. This must be what it would've felt like to take the Death Star out for a spin. Oh, the blogs I could blow up right now like so many Alderaans...

But really, you (Pens faithful) and I (Caps fan - and save the jokes... they're very Philly) have more in common than you might realize.

Both of us hate the Flyers (and, btw, I'm pissed at you guys for not getting my back as I was flamed by all 50 Philly fans who know how to type when I eulogized their team over at Puck Daddy).

Each of our favorite teams has one of the best players in hockey on it (and you guys have Sidney Crosby, too).

Both of us celebrated big Nicklas Backstrom goals last season.

And, most importantly, both of our teams have emerged from recent lean years to once again excite the fans and the League and contend in the East.

I'm here to today to provide you (or your mother or whomever dresses you) with a little fashion advice tell you a little more about the Caps, so when the Pens' decades-long ownership of the boys from D.C. finally and mercifully expires in the near future, you're not, well, stunned. Here are five things you need to know, in terms to which you can relate:

1. The Caps' offense, like Ice-Cube's junk, runs deep. Six Capitals forwards have scored 20 or more goals in at least one of the last two seasons (last year's Pens had seven such players), and that doesn't include super soph Backstrom, 13-time 20-goal-getter Sergei Fedorov or former two-time WHL 50-goal scorer Eric Fehr, who will be playing his first full NHL season in 2008-09. Lots. Of. Goals.

2. A sign of things to come? Last season, Alex Ovechkin and Mike Green became the first teammates to lead the NHL in goal scoring by a forward and blueliner since Mario Lemieux and Paul Coffey did it for the Pens back in 1988-89. Two seasons later, the Penguins won their first Stanley Cup.

Quick detour: I feel this is as good a time as any to clear up some confusion. As a friend of Greg Wyshynski's in "meat space" (turns out we were a perfect match on eHarmony), people often ask me, "Does Puck Daddy wear those shades and fellate that stogie everywhere he goes?" to which I laugh and reply, "No." In fact, here's a picture of him working from home on his now infamous "What's so insane about expecting Pittsburgh to take a huge fall?" post to prove it:

Alright, back to the knowledge-droppin'...

3. The Caps' team defense is highly underrated. In fact, according to someone smarter than me, the Caps had the best defense in the Eastern Conference last season, and that was before the arrival of über prospect Karl Alzner at some point this Fall. Whether or not you buy the "best defense" tag (as supported by stats), the more knowledgeable among you will note this as another similarity between the Caps and Pens. As my buddy Peerless pointed out, "Pittsburgh became a Cup contender, not because of its offense (however prolific it might be), but because of its defense." The Pens' defense last year seldom got the credit it deserved, and the Caps are in that same position right now... but we all know what's what.

4. Jose Theodore has a great chance to succeed. Seriously. Granted, he's not as good as the clowns at ESPN Fantasy Hockey think he is, but the Caps went 23-13-7 (a 98-point pace) from the day Bruce Boudreau took over behind the bench last season until Cristobal Huet was acquired. Over that span, their number one goalie, Olie Kolzig, went 17-9-6 with a 3.02 GAA and save percentage of .886. Does anyone doubt that Jose Theodore - a guy who had a 2.34 GAA and .915 save percentage in the second half last season - can do at least that well? The Caps' team defense and system will give Theodore every chance to put up big numbers (as they did for Huet), and if Jose returns to anything resembling his Vezina/Hart form, look out.

5. The Caps have lost their playoff virginity. It's amazing what a single win in an 82-game season can mean. For the Caps, beating Florida on the last night of their regular season earned them a division title and a spot in the playoffs. They were spent and unprepared for what awaited them, and once they got their legs under them and got over the jitters, it was too late. But with that experience behind them, they'll be hungrier - and ready - when the playoffs role around this year. Sound familiar, Pens fans? Literally, that one win against the Panthers saved the franchise a year in its quest for a Cup.

So there you have it, your formal introduction to this year's Caps. I bet they sound quite familiar, don't they? And when you guys come to D.C. (if you can still afford tickets, that is) drop me a line and we'll grab a beer or six. See - we're not so different, you and I.

Now someone show me where that button is so I can start a blog war....

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::


last place

Ouch

This via [Puck Daddy].

Confirmation of Bulgaria's beat down.



Jesus.

[Thanks to Sh0ez and RedFox for the tip]

Pens Prospects

We could write anything here, but why?

"Shawnawwwesome" is just going to put it in italtics anyway , and make some type of sly remark in the comments section.

So really who needs us to write anything, when a witty "Shawnnaaaahole" is going to repeat it anyway. It is a shame you won't be able to respond, because we are locking comments until we feel like it unlocking them.

Suuckkkk it

woooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

But anyway, the Pens prospects smoked the Maple Leafs prospects on Sunday.[Faceoff Factor]
And by Maple Leafs prospects we mean garbage.
And by garbage, we mean the Cleveland Browns.


Here is some video:

Gameday [2]: Steelers @ Clowns

Cleveland

8:30 Pm-- or whatever time NBC decides to show the game.


::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

A lot of talk in c-blog about this and that.

We didn't even see what Stephen S. posted, but jobbing him is a joke.

But hey, if that's what you're about, that's what you're about.

You're the one sitting in front of a computer refreshing for comments every ten minutes.

Go to hell.

More Hossa Shit

This article at [ ESPN ] talked about some Hossa shit.

It was time about two months ago to put the Hossa crap to bed.

Now that we've had time to reflect, this Hossa situation is pretty clear.
Players won't be upset 'cause "that's the business."

And why were/are Pens fans upset?
Well, we've watched this team work their balls off to climb out of the basement.
They are taking the long way to the Cup; the way you should do it.
The Pens and the fanbase was jobbed last year, saying how the Pens took advantage of high draft picks, resulting in their rise to the top.

Uh, yeah. That's why the system is designed the way it is.

No knock on Detroit here, either.
They've built their minor-league system and find players that no one else finds.

But when you throw in a prima donna like Hossa, things get blurred.
Talk about a joke.
Instead of doing things the hard way and earning a Cup, he signs a ONE-YEAR deal with the team who is the defending champion.

Again, we're not saying Detroit didn't earn the Cup.
They're well-coached and sick.

Last season, Hossa drafted the Pens down the backstretch at Talladega
and slingshotted (slungshot?) past them in Turn 3.
It always sucks when someone uses you like that.

And that's what Hossa did to the Penguins.
And that's why the fanbase considers him a joke.

Let's not kid ourselves -- a Cup win last season would have been superb.
And we wouldn't have cared if Hossa bolted following the season.
We would have essentially used him if things had turned out that way.

But now the Pens are back to where they belong: earning the Cup.
Ray Shero may have learned some lessons the past couple years.
Trading for rent-a-players every season can only be sustained for so long.

So, whatev.
The whole "working for what you get" thing fits in well with the city of Pittsburgh.
It's going to be doubly sweet when the Pens raise the Cup.

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Emptying our soul a couple days ago, along with the encouraging e-mails people sent us,
and seeing that Malkin goal against the Flyers yesterday...

It kind of got us pumped up.
The soul-cleansing post may have turned the tide.
We felt better as soon as we posted it.

First rule of Pensblog Club: Don't job Stephen S.

Go Pens

Are You There, Readers? It's Us, The Staff

We mentioned a few days ago how much we've changed since starting the blog.
And it's true.

We started it because it was an interesting and creative medium, and we had free time on our hands.
The shit part about 20-something is, free time becomes less and less available.

We've always put a lot of work into what we do around here.
We've done it as an entertainment source for ourselves, ultimately.
We knew that as soon as it felt like it was a job, it was gonna be time to close up shop.

Maybe this is the end of summer talking here.
Maybe we've put way too much undue pressure on ourselves.
Because come on. This is a blog.

Everyone came here because you can read about the Pens and maybe laugh at something stupid.
But guess what. We haven't been funny since mid-June.
We've been suffering the biggest case of writer's block since Bob Smizik blocked that field goal in Super Bowl V.

Was that even funny? Probably not.
Therein lies the problem.
Shouldn't we have incorporated a photoshop of Smizik blocking a field goal?
We're not even motivated to crank up Photoshop.

Professional blogs are shoving their way onto the internet.
They provide as much shit as they can, because that's what they're doing 9:00 to 5:00 every day.

We do our stuff 7:00pm to 1:00am every day, when real-life shit isn't in the way.
If we had not have touched this blog during the summer, the fever would be at an all-time high right now.
Instead we've burned ourselves out before the season even starts. It's a lesson learned.

We'd rather regain our composure than just become a tired blog going through the motions.
It's embarrassing to us, more than anything.

Justin jumped on board this summer and provided the few laughs that came your way.
Derek and I (Adam) phoned it in day after day.

This definitely isn't a swan-song post.
Sometimes you just aren't motivated.
We've all been there. You've all been here, where we stand today.

Hopefully, if you're reading this, you understand that if we didn't care about you guys and interacting with everyone, there would be no need for this post.

People do things as hobbies in their spare time.
A select few in the world get to do their true love for a living.

It's sickening, because we should be raring to go around here.
It's the middle of September.
Our promises to stop mailing it in weren't open-ended.
They were last-ditch efforts to light a fire under our ass.

We're not going away.
Just expect less posts (perhaps not every day) for the time being.
We reiterate -- we are not riding off into the sunset.

We're not moving on to bigger and better things.
We just aren't motivated.

If you don't understand and feel offended, go to hell and don't come back to the blog.
Peace.

P.S. -- This could all be void once we strap in for the first game recap.
And maybe not.

We just wanted everyone to know the situation.

Look Close

NHL 2009 release may have signaled the end for us, we're not going to lie.

Whatev.

Thanks to [Jared T] for this.

Carolina has at least one win on their schedule:

Good Stuff

We are too busy playing NHL to care about anything.

However, here is some good shit.

The Pens are back delivering the their season tickets for the second year in a row.

Bing was all over the place.



[Penguins.com]

There are some [pics] as well.

Team Pensblog: EASHL

If your you're looking, remember the home base for our EASHL teams is at:

[teampensblog]



Xbox 360 should be online sometime tonight,.
PS3 will be ready around 3 am or so in the morning.


Go Pens

We Bleed Teal's Half Assed Season Preview

Just like we did last season, we wanted to branch out to the many fantastic bloggers in the NHL. We figured there is no better way to get to know a team than through the people that follow them the most.

Next up is our good friend, Mr. Plank from [We Bleed Teal].
He arrived on the scene last season, and brought us a great look at the sharks.
He also signed hacksaw away from us in the off-season.
Dick.

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Greetings Pensblogians, it's Mr. Plank from We Bleed Teal, a site dedicated to the ever frustrating San Jose Sharks.

It's no secret- the Sharks have had a helluva time getting past the second round the last three years. Every single season Teal Nation (we really don't call ourselves that- it's sort of a rip off of "Raider Nation", the Oakland Raiders fanbase who love supporting their team in the National Convicts League) gets more excited than Adam and Derek on high school prom night about their chances to finally score the big one. Unfortunately, it ends much the same- an early exit, people laugh, you retire from your career as a human being and start up a blog. It's a rough life.

Based off these facts, I've decided to go into this year with more of a realistic mind set. The following is a list of seven reasons (which represents a playoff series. Fuck yeah I am original) of why the Sharks are less likely to choke like Mama Cass in the second round. I know all of you hellions who fucked up my poll last year might have trouble sticking with me for that long, but attempt to bear with me.

Editor's Note: You're going to see a lot of Detroit Red Wings references- I wasn't sure how familiar you were with the West (I know relatively little about the East) so I figured the Evil Empire of Detroit would be a decent example- and a fairly poignant one at that considering our Head Coach ran their PP last season.

1) Todd McLellan


First off, that's one helluva photoshop.

Ex-Sharks coach Ron Wilson (who's now leading some AHL team in Toronto into battle with NHL squads) was notorious for being unable to motivate the team come playoff time. Rumors that he had lost control of the locker room surfaced after the year, and it was all but a guarantee he was done.

After Wilson got fired, Detroit's power play coach Todd McLellan was brought in as head coach. He's had a successful career behind the bench both at the AHL and NHL level (most notably winning the Calder Cup in 2003 with the Houston Aeros), and the consensus in Northern California is that he will inject lots of life into the frustratingly static powerplay, as well as other aspects of the team. We'll touch on all of those later in more detail, but let it be clear- McLellan is the biggest addition to the Sharks in that he changes the offensive side of the puck immensely.

2) Ryane Clowe


I'm convinced Detroit's success on the power play centers around Holmstrom's ability to mindf*** the goaltenders every time his rear is hanging around in the crease. As much as we hate the guy (don't think you guys are the only one who despise Detroit), his ass gets more press coverage than J-Lo's, and for good reason. He gives opposing netminders more breakdowns than Britney Spears.

Looking at the Sharks roster, there's no one else who can get in front of the net and disrupt the goaltender like Clowe. He was a big contributor in the first-round series against Calgary (4 goals, 4 assists) and established such a solid presence in the crease that it was difficult to fathom how the Sharks managed to post the league's second best record in the regular season without him. His skill set has lots of upsides- 6'2, 225 pounds, and good hands. Expect big things out of him this year, especially on the power play. A twenty five goal season is far from out of the question- in fact it might be a tad conservative.

The one concern with Clowe is his ability to stay healthy. He missed a majority of the regular season with a knee injury, and has never played a complete NHL season. If you're a member of MAAD you may have cause for concern as well- dude picked up a DUI when he was on the IR. But whatevs- do you like drinking? Hell, ya like drinkin', who da hell don't?

3) Patrick Marleau


This reason sort of ties in with number one- Patty had a lot of differences with Ron Wilson, and that reflected on his play last year. Posting a paltry 48 points (19 G), he was involved in trade rumors all year long, but won't have to deal with them this year due to a NTC that kicked in after the entry draft. Rumor has it (and no, my source isn't Eklund the human joke mobile) that the Sharks Captain didn't speak to Ron Wilson for a six month period. The importance of that is fairly undebatable.

Up until last year's postseason (where Marleau was still the most consistent Shark game in game out), he was tied with Jarome Iginla for most postseason goals (20) in the last three years. He banged the twine more than Magic Johnson banged.... well you get the point. And he's healthy, which is more than you can say for....yeah, you get the point.

Don't be swayed by last year's regular season performance. Expect a point a game from the Captain this year, production that will motivate his teammates and reignite a Sharks offense that was 19th last season in GF.

4) Cup Rings


It's no mystery as to what Doug Wilson's plan was this offseason- bring in older players with Stanley Cup experience. With a roster that has aged considerably since the beginning of last season, the goal of bringing Stanley Cup rings (from zero to four) into the locker room has been achieved. The Sharks went from a fairly young team to one that now is looking at a rapidly closing window of opportunity. The players in question?

Rob Blake- Old and overpaid. it's not an overstatement in any sense of the word to say that Blake's glory days are behind him. But hell, at least he gives us an opportunity to throw in a reference to The Boss. Blake's purpose will be solely to provide support on the powerplay and do towel whips in the locker room, keeping the squad loose. Basically, he's Pensblog Charlie (loose, ha!), except with actual hockey skills. And, well, he's a real person.

The Cup ring and his experience as Captain of the Kings sure doesn't hurt either.

Dan Boyle- After Brian "Soupy" Campbell (who will be referred to as "Poopy" on We Bleed Teal for the remainder of his wretched life) bolted for the Windy City, Doug Wilson went out and picked up another puck-moving defenceman to replace him. Boyle's coming off an injury plagued 07-08 year, so his $6.66 M/year contract that runs through 2013-2014 could be a bit of a gamble, but from what I've seen of Mr. Boyle, he could well be an upgrade over "Poopy". Plus, it gives me so many opportunities to use cliche headlines such as "Sharks Begin To Boyle As They Win Third Straight." That shit's important people.

Brad Lukowich- Lukowich won a Cup with the Lightning back in 03-04. He's basically a solid defenceman who's going to eat up minutes and not score a lot, but provide enough to earn his minutes. McLellan will probably pair him up with Boyle at the beginning of the year, solely based off the fact that is the role they played in Tampa.

5) The Powerplay


Yes, that is the second thing that popped up on a Google image search. And yes, I will probably be using that for the rest of the season.

Ah, the Sharks power play. It was a goddamn circus last year. Although a quick trip to the ESPN stat archives may tell you the Sharks were a respectable 10th in the league last year, don't believe it. They were frustrating as hell. Basically our plan of attack would consist of feeding the puck to Big Joe on the sideboards, him waiting around for a few seconds, and then firing an errant pass at the front of the net. As this was occurring, yours truly would be beating his dog while the pass got broken up.

Rinse and repeat.

Todd McLellan's expertise promised to change all that. With weapons such as Joe Thornton, Patrick Marleau, Milan Michalek, Rob Blake, Dan Boyle, Ryane Clowe, and Joe Pavelski combined with McLellan's past experience of running one of the league's most feared power play units, teams are going to be paying for taking penalties against San Jose.

One of the huge reasons the Sharks went seven games with Calgary and lost to the Stars was their inability to make teams fear putting the Sharks on the power play. That's all about to change this year.

6) The Defense


Although losing Craig Rivet was a blow to the squad as well as the fanbase, Doug Wilson's hand was forced because of the cap troubles the Sharks ran into. All of the aforementioned acquisitions in number four add to this list, but a big change this year will be more production from the blueline. Marc-Edouard Vlasic stated that this offseason that, "I think the coach wants a little more offense from the d-men," something that was sorely lacking last year.

For a defense that was ranked 3rd in GA and 1st in PK last season, the opportunity to press a little more in the offensive zone will be a welcome addition to the Sharks repertoire. Coupled with 2008 Vezina Winner Runner-Up Evgeni Nabokov manning the pipes, the Sharks will once again be one the leagues best teams at keeping the puck out of their net. Hell yeah I'm already counting my chickens.

7) Hacksaw


We got to sit down with Hacksaw Jim Duggan in the offseason to talk about his decision to sign with We Bleed Teal. Although we got a lot of bad press for going Kevin Lowe on the world wide web's candy ass, you will see from this interview that there were some extenuating circumstances that led him to go coast to coast like Bobby Orr in his prime. His performance at the 2008 We Bleed Teal Bloggies was well worth the price of admission, and we expect big things out of Hacksaw this upcoming season. Our session with the former Pensblog hero is next.

Mr. Plank: Your relationship with The Pensblog was beneficial to both, as you posted an 11-1 record last year and helped lead them to the Stanley Cup Finals. What are your feelings about leaving the community over there?

Hacksaw: Ya know, there's mixed feelings about leaving The Pensblog. The fans over there are top of the line. Everyone in the blogosphere knows what The Pensblog is all about. They're often compared to The National Enquirer and Star, two top journalistic institutions that have a ton of class. But there was some dicey stuff going on in the backroom if ya know what I mean. Let's just say Sean Avery's phone number wasn't the only one they found in that Manhattan hookers black book....

Mr. Plank: Care to expound on that?

Hacksaw: Black tar heroin, backroom deals even Jim Donaghey would look down on, cheap liquor and even cheaper women- shit over there was a no holds barred cage match. For example, after a big win we'd be in the locker room yucking it up and Derek would come up to me, offer up a celebratory drink. And I'm with your boy Clowe on this one- I love to fucking drink ya know? So sure enough I'd take a swig or two of his beverage and all of a sudden... BOOM. I wake up three hours later with my head pounding and my rectum feeling like someone furiously jammed something the size of a mechanical pencil up it for about thirty seven seconds. It was some sketchy shit over at The Pensblog brother.

Mr. Plank: Do you think Pensblog Charlie had anything to do with this?

Hacksaw: No, Charlie was one of those guys who was a wallflower, wouldn't say much- but you could always feel his eyes on ya. It got so bad I had to wear board shorts in the shower. I'm not saying I disagree with his lifestyle- I'm saying I vehemently disagree with everything he represents. The man's a menace to society. I had to get the hell outta there. The Pensblog just wasn't working for me.

Mr. Plank: Not to lay waste to your whole argument, but isn't it slightly peculiar that you would move to a state that supports same-sex marriages and a city that is only a half hour south of San Francisco?

Hacksaw: I'm outta here. See ya at training camp, dick.

Go Sharks.



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Father time became a member of the season ticket club for the Sharks this season, so they better not fool around.
After voting Ron Wilson off the island the Sharks think they can overcome the typical Wilson fold in the playoffs.
Someone has to fall in the Pacific, but the Sharks are still way to talented to fade.
Western conference finals or bust.


Projected: 1-6 in western conference, could win Pacific.

Even Erik Christensen Would Have Scored

Everyone has this story today.

From [Puck Daddy] to [Mirtle] to [Fanhouse] no one can believe that the Bulgarian Women's hockey team lost 82-0 in an Olympic qualifying game against Slovakia.
[Uk.Yahoo]


This isn't so much to print this news, as it is now a challenge.

We have to find highlights of this game.

So join the search, and if you find something let us know.


Unreal.

Your East-Coast-Friendly Ducks Preview.

Just like we did last season, we wanted to branch out to the many fantastic bloggers in the NHL. We figured there is no better way to get to know a team than through the people that follow them the most.

The other man in charge of the [Battle of California] is none other than the classy Earl Sleek.
He held the bloggers world championship belt until [Homotown Bill] took it this past June.

Sleek is known for his unreal [pucktoons] and covers the Ducks like we would if we were out West. Insert lack-of-coverage joke here.

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Hey there, Pens nation. Earl Sleek here, Ducks blogger at Battle of California. I'm here to give you enough info on the Anaheim Ducks that you'll never need to visit BoC again!

First, though, let me take a moment and offer my condolences. Yeah, I know it's been tough, watching your playoff team forge a 12-2 record through three rounds of the playoffs (including an opening-round sweep of the defending finalists), only to start the cup finals by scoring zero goals in games one and two. To make matters worse, during the summer your superstar winger goes and signs cheap with an already-cup favorite.

A real pity.

Well, let me tell you a parallel story about a 2003 Mighty Ducks squad, who also forged a 12-2 record through three rounds of the playoffs (including an opening-round sweep of the defending champs), only to start the cup finals by scoring zero goals in games one and two. To make matters worse, during the summer our superstar winger went and signed cheap with an already-cup favorite (Paul Kariya to the Colorado Avalanche, but don't worry -- that didn't work out for anybody).



Donald's Diagnosis: The Stanley Cup Finals version of Avian Flu.
And while I've glossed over a lot (the Mighty Ducks were always underdogs and had a better French goalie), the similarities are striking, no? If the Penguins plan on sticking to the Ducks' storyline, I'll give you a brief roadmap of your next four years:

Year One: Awful. The crash-back-to-earth year. The Ducks finished 29-35-10, good for 12th in the west. Year Two: Even worse. The lockout. Still, you'll probably hire Brian Burke. Year Three: Promising. The Ducks, under new management, lost in the conference finals. Year Four: Success! Cup champs at last.

So chin up, Pens fans! By my faulty logic, you're only four years removed from sippin' from Stanley, and that's not a bad place to be (though I'll warn you, it might involve a new team name and logo). Year Five, by the way, you'll be riddled by semi-retirements and suspensions, and that brings us to Year Six, which is probably what I should have been writing about this whole time.

2008-09 Ducks Preview: (at last) The good news, compared to last year, is that the two semi-retirees Scott Niedermayer and Teemu Selanne will start the season as players. The bad news is that even without Selanne, the Ducks are over the salary cap and need to trim that quick. I'm going to write this with the assumption that Selanne is in and Schneider and Marchant are somehow gone, but I'll add a quick mention on each of them in case Brian Burke has other cap-compliance schemes.

Overview: This year might represent the end of the Brian Burke era in Anaheim, and more importantly it probably represents the end of the Niedermayer-Pronger era on the blueline. Scott, of course, sat out the first 34 games last season, including the Ducks' whirlwind England excursion, but the results when he came back were pretty scary. The final 48 games with Niedermayer in the lineup the Ducks finished 32-12-4. Pro-rated to an 82-game schedule, that's a 116 point season (which would have won last year's President's Trophy by a margin of 1), with only 150 non-shootout goals-allowed (29 fewer than Detroit, who won the Jennings Trophy). While Teemu's goal-scoring talents are definitely coveted, it's always been Scott-first on my retirement watch. With Pronger and Niedermayer on the blueline, the Ducks are always a threat.

Sure, things fell apart quickly last spring in the cup-defense postseason, but while many are quick to blame the Selanne and Niedermayer holdouts, by my eye those were probably the two best Ducks in the short playoffs. I think the bigger culprits for the early exit were Chris Pronger returning from a suspension and Corey Perry returning from an injury.

Forwards: The top line will definitely feature Ryan Getzlaf and Corey Perry, who showed that they were capable of handling top line duty last year, and probably Chris Kunitz -- a useful swingman. They should be followed up by new UFA Brendan Morrison, Selanne, and young kid Bobby Ryan (one pick behind Sid Crosby... sigh, well at least he won't be making $8.7M anytime soon). The stopper line has been set for years now: Rob Niedermayer, Sammy Pahlsson, and Travis Moen are money. They won't help out anybody's fantasy team, but they will win you playoff series. On the fourth line is some muscle, let's pencil in Brad May, Brian Sutherby, and George Parros. If they keep Marchant somehow, he's another utility player who usually centers that fourth line.

Probably the best improvement the Ducks made this offseason was shipping out their useless expensive forwards (Doug "Dead" Weight and Todd "Crawford made me do it" Bertuzzi). Both those guys had a real distaste for backchecking and needed to be protected in the lineup. The group of forwards that remain might not be among the league's best, but they are a versatile group who understand their roles.

Defensemen: Burke's kept this group together splendidly; essentially it's the 2007 cup-winning blueline with Steve Montador replacing Joe Dipenta. Between the pairings of Scott Niedermayer-Francois Beauchemin and Chris Pronger-Sean O'Donnell, most of the important minutes will be capably handled, and Steve Montador and Kent Huskins can clean up in the leftover ice time. Schneider, if he somehow stays, gets bottom-pairing even-strength minutes plus some top-power play time.

Goaltenders: J.S. Giguere and Jonas Hiller are the Ducks' minders for the next two years, according to the contracts. Both have played very well behind the Niedermayer-Pronger defensive scheme, and other than some nickname issues, I'm happy to have both of them back.

In a nutshell: There's been quite a few pundits who see the Ducks as on the decline, and sure, they're probably not as good a team as they were in the cup year. However, I don't really know if they are that far removed -- certainly last season had enough drama, travel, cup hangover, and missing superstars that the 08-09 Ducks are probably improved from last year's 102-points total (which was still tied with Pittsburgh for 4th in the league). It's a tough Pacific Division, though, with the ever-tough Sharks and Stars and the improving Coyotes, so even a fantastic season comes with no guarantees. But really, I don't need to tell you Pens fans that, right?

Go Ducks.

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The Ducks are as solid as it gets out West.
But as Earl said, their division is catching up with them.
Ryan Getzlaf and Corey Perry are insane. There is no better way to say it.

The defense and goaltending shouldn't really raise any red flags, either.

The Pacific division has a chance to really be fun this year,
with coaching changes in San Jose and questions that still need to be answered in Dallas.

Anaheim could no question quietly return to form.


Projection:
In the running for the Pacific. 1-6th in the conference.

Season Preview: Los Angeles Kings

Just like we did last season, we wanted to branch out to the many fantastic bloggers in the NHL. Today is part 1 of what should be an interesting look into the worlds of other bloggers. We figured there is no better way to get to know a team than through the people that follow them the most.

Today is [Battle Of California] day, and first up is Rudy Kelly.
After [last year's preview,] we asked Rudy to come back for another swing.
And he does not disappoint.
If you were a Kings fan, you would be as twisted as Rudy is.

We kind of dig it, in that extremely homoerotic way.
Rudy enjoys using the F bomb, so if you are easily offended, kill yourself.

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"You think that's a threat? If you think you can make my life any worse, you go right ahead. Be my fucking guest. Take a shot."

-Willie


The Kings are fucking terrible. There's no amount of sugar coating that will change that. The Kings haven't been to the playoffs in 5 seasons now, but just as each snowflake is special in its own little way, so too is each season miserable and full of pants-shittingly inept management. There was 2002-03, where the Kings lost 2/3 of their top line for almost the entire season; there was 2005-06, where the Kings were in the middle of the playoff hunt, traded 2 top prospects for Mark Parrish and Brent Sopel, then proceeded to lose 10 out of their last 11games to finish in the lottery; oh, and then there was last year, where, after sitting in last place for pretty much the entire year, the Kings got surprisingly stout goaltending by Erik Ersberg to finish 2nd in the lottery ahead of Tampa Bay, thus losing out on Steve Stamkos. It's funny, in that "Holocaust Survivor Dies in Shower Accident" sort of way.


The one good thing about the past 2 seasons for the Kings is that they've been trying to suck. Say what you want about the Kings, but at least they're trying to hit bottom. I'd much rather finish in the bottom 5 and get a great young player than finish 3 points out of a playoff spot every year. The Kings tried to cobble together a competitive team out of a core of Lubomir Visnovsky-Mike Cammalleri-Alex Frolov-Tom Preissing-Brad Stuart last season to maybe make the playoffs, but that shockingly didn't work. The Kings figured they weren't going to make the playoffs with that and traded away Cammalleri and Visnovsky for players that will be contributors 2 or 3 years down the road,when Anze Kopitar and Jack Johnson are ready to carry the load. Of course, a major motivation for that Visnovsky trade was the assumption that two of Brad Stuart/Brooks Orpik/Rob Blake would sign with the Kings. That didn't happen. Now the Kings' defense looks like this:

Jack Johnson-Tom Preissing
Matt Greene-Peter Harrold
Denis Gauthier-Drew Doughty

Whoops!

Yep, it's hard being a Kings fan. It was easier when I was a kid and the Kings sucked because all I cared about was getting one goal to celebrate and maybe a fight to watch. It's hard to appreciate those simpler pleasures now that I'm older, just like treehouses and handjobs.*

*A handjob is like when you scratch a lottery ticket and see "Winner!" but then you keep scratching and it turns out all you've won is another lottery ticket. Yeah, you won something, but if you had known at the beginning that was all you'd win you probably wouldn't have scratched in the first place.

Still, there are a few things on the Kings that keep me from killing myself:


1) Gin.



2) Dustin Brown-Anze Kopitar-Patrick O'Sullivan. The Kings' probable top line is quick, talented, and oh so good. Anze Kopitar is amazing and way, way, way better than Jordan Staal. Patrick O'Sullivan is a sniper that developed a solid two-way game last season; a good comparison for what he could be is Jason Pominville. Dustin Brown is a stone cold badass that kills men and wins blogger's hearts. Plus, if you go here you can see his dick. (That's my homepage, oddly enough.) I'm thinking of naming them the Maxi-PAD line, since their first letters match up and they always give maximum effort on every shift. My roommate (a Ducks fan) thought it was a great idea, so I may run with it.


3) Alex Frolov. I like to call Frolov "3/4 Datsyuk." Both are Russian, both are excellent at setting up goals, both are accomplished at stealing the puck, it's just that Datsyuk is better. Frolov will be a free agent in two years and he'll look great next to Malkin when he leaves the Kings because they suck. Dammit, I keep doing that. My therapist is going to be pissed.


4) Prospects! The Kings got prospects coming out the ass. Brian Boyle, Ted Purcell and Matt Moulson are all in their early 20s and should bring speed and offense to the Kings' bottom six. Drew Doughty will probably make the team this season and will provide a little spark on the power play. Then there's Colten Teubert (who is like Chris Pronger in that he is a douche bag), Thomas Hickey, Oscar Moller, Wayne Simmonds, Jonathan Bernier, Trevor Lewis, Jeff Zatkoff, etc. It's the only thing that keeps me going, and if one of them busts I swear to God I will paint my entire apartment complex in blood.

Pittsburgh City Hall

5) I don't live in Pittsburgh. Pennsylvania is the Britain of the United States, in that it's only relevant because it used to be important. Oh really, Ben Franklin invented bifocals there, that's great, now go away so the big boys can actually contribute to the economy. I visited Pittsburgh once and thought it was surprisingly nice; of course, that was when I thought Three Mile Island was in Pittsburgh and had actually destroyed half the city in a nuclear disaster. Everyone there was fat and pale and there were too many polo shirts and hats with bills bent way too far and puca shell necklaces. I'd rather be eaten alive by coyotes than live in Pittsburgh. I'd say Pittsburgh is the 4th worst NHL city, behind Edmonton (too cold), Nashville (too Southern), and Atlanta (black people make me uncomfortable). Gettysburg was cool, though.

6) When you've hit bottom you feel so... free. You guys should know what I'm talking about. When your team is legitimately terrible, there's not much anyone can do to you. I can say whatever I want and nobody is really going to mind because hey, my team is terrible. It's like how a homeless person can get away with smelling terrible and yelling at random strangers; what are you going to do to him, take away his cart? It's also nice because no trash talk can get to me. Talk about how Kopitar looks like a raccoon, insinuate the Kings are going to move, I don't care. Nothing can make me feel as terrible as how I feel when I watch the Kings play.

Those who are still reading (hi Mom!) are probably wondering why I haven't mentioned Jarret Stoll or anything about goaltending; you're probably also wondering what the fuck is wrong with me. I didn't mention those other things for 2 reasons: one, I'm not good at this, and two, it doesn't really matter. The Kings aren't making the playoffs this season. All that matters is that no one gets seriously injured and the young players continue to progress into great NHL'ers. It's not easy when you know your team has no shot, but I have a special way to cope. I put on my shades, take my 5 minute drive to the beach, soak in some rays, and stomp a little girl's sand castle. Hey, we all grieve in different ways.

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We're pretty sure one of our pending EASHL teams could beat the Kings, but whatev.
Like Rudy mentioned, Dustin Brown is the next big thing, and we have always like Frolov.
Jack Johnson is a beast. Another year for him to mature is not a bad thing.

But until they get a goalie, the Kings ain't going nowhere.
They are a year away, which is not a bad thing.
They could remind a lot of people of last year's Coyotes team.


Projection: 12-15th place.

Still Pensblog After All These Years

First post in the history of The Pensblog: September 9, 2006.

[Malkin Tent]


We aren't one to really make a big deal about it, but it is hard to believe.

After 1,238 post, countless jobbings, and some long nights, to say we are the same people that started that post back in 2006 would be a lie.

We have entered the words " two men making out" into search engines more times than we would like to remember since then.

But we are still the same people that can't listen to Journey's "Don't Stop Believing" anymore because of the lyric "...just a city boy born and raised in South Detroit."

We still get mad when we see some joke Canadian fan whining on the internet or some asshole wearing a Rangers jersey.

And as much as sometimes we mail it in, or don't care,
we know somehow we will always end up back in front of the computer.

We could get all sappy and shit.
But let us just say, thanks to everyone for making the last two years fun.
Hopefully we have many more.




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Now to way more important news:




From [KK]:

“He’s really excited to play in front of Nick (Lidstrom), Rafi (Brian Rafalski) and Kronner (Niklas Kronwall) and all those guys.

“He’s very competitive. He’s anxious to play good hockey.

“It’s not that they didn’t play good hockey in Pittsburgh but, every time he played Detroit, our puck possession and style of hockey he loves it.”

-- Red Wings forward Tomas Kopecky on Marian Hossa

[Thanks to Big K and Bobby T ]


Hossa and Conklin laugh about how slow Conklin is.

Vomit city.

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:: HCMT is everywhere. [Penguins.com]

“I got a chance to speak with Mike and wish him good luck in person,” Therrien said. “It was an amazing experience to be down on the field before the game, to see all those guys, and it was great to have the Steelers open the season with a big win.”

HCMT is using plurals now? Unreal.

:: The Penguins prospects report today to prepare for the rookie tournament in Kitchener, Ont. over the weekend. [Penguins.com]

Per [LGP] here is the schedule:

Wednesday, September 10, 2008
1:30pm Practice @ Southpointe

Thursday, September 11, 2008
11:00am Practice @ Southpointe

Friday, September 12, 2008
11:00am Practice @ Southpointe


:: On that same note, [Faceoff Factor] says this year is huge for Keven Veilleux.

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:: You didn't get this info from us:


woooooooooooooooooooooooo

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NHL '09 should be in stores by Wednesday.

Big ups to the boys running our [TeamPensblog] blog.

If you signed up for both our XBOX 360 & PS3, teams check there for all details on games and shit.

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Random:



Thanks to [Bill R]




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Season previewblog



Today is [Battle Of California] day at Pensblog.
The Ducks and Kings previews will be posted later on.


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Go Pens.

Phoenix Coyotes Season Preview 2008

Just like we did last season, we wanted to branch out to the many fantastic bloggers in the NHL. Today is part 1 of what should be an interesting look into the worlds of other bloggers. We figured there is no better way to get to know a team than through the people that follow them the most.


Our first guest is Onyx from [Coyotes Hip Check.]
If you want anything on the Coyotes, that should be your number one stop.
Solid people and a solid site, so please give them your attention. They have a story to tell.

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Hey All, Onyx here from Coyotes Hip Check. Just stopped by to do a little preview on the state of the Yotes for 08.

To outsiders it may seem like the Coyotes don't have a post-season prayer. But to the long suffering faithful, there is finally a fire in the belly of this desert beast.

From the net out, this team has a new attitude. Bryzgalov will be looking to establish his bonafides from season start this time, rather than playing catchup. Even Bryz's 28-25-6 record and 3 shutouts in 07 wasn't enough to get the Dogs over the post season hump.

The big Russian got thrown in the deep end and was run too long and too hard. ( More than was good for a first time #1 starter in my personal opinion) The Coyotes staff now have a better idea of just how hard to work the guy and with Mikael Tellqvist holding steady at backup (9-8-2), the Yotes have much more confidence going into 08 and we all know that confidence can make or break a team.

But quite honestly the Coyotes most dramatic change will be up front. Last year late in the season, scoring became a dire issue. When Vrbata's hot hand went cold, he basically took the entire team w/ him into the freezer and our playoff hopes w/ them. The addition of Ollie Jokinen at #1 center brings hardcore help to the Dogs weakest point.



The big Finn put up 30+ goals with very little help so giving him one of the best power forwards in the west, Shane Doan, makes for a possible 60+ goal first line. (Donor potted 28 of his own goals last season with very little help) Now top that picture off w/ young gun Peter Meuller (whose rookie season of 22 goals and 54 points is nothing to sneeze at) and you are looking at possibly the best 1st line the Coyotes have ever run.

The second and third lines will be rookie dependent (but hell, being rookie heavy sure didn't hurt the Pens or the Hawks in the last 2 years). 3rd overall, 2007 draftee Kyle Turris, 8th over all, 2008 draftee Mikkel Boedker, Hobey Baker winner Kevin Porter, Viktor Tikhnov w/ his superb skillset and bloodlines, Enver Lisin w/ his phenomenal speed and seriously improved all around game will join forces with wiley veterans like Steven Rheinprecht and Todd Fedoruck (neither of whom are household names but both have postseason experience that will provide balance for the kids as they make their first foray into playing hockey at the highest level).

I certainly can't leave out the affect that big Martin Hanzal will have up the middle and ballzy Dan Winnick on his wing, in their sophmore effort. But the question that will probably figure most prominently in every Phoenix fan's mind will be whether or not Dan Carcillo can make good on the promise that we saw at the end of the season? (He was scorin hatties by season's end) Can he cut back on his antics and let the LW in himself outshine the agitator?



If so, there is a whole lot of firepower waiting to be tapped and the Coyotes won't have to worry about any tail-end offensive fading this time around. With the addition of Brian McGrattan, there really is no reason for Carcillo to figure in so prominently in the fight zone.

I personally, am a blueline kinda girl. These guys make or break a game for me and we lost 2 really great players (Ballard and Boynton) in the trade for Ollie. Ballard teamed up last year w/ Morris to form a super hot shut down pairing and Boynton babysat Yandle through his freshman session very well and took out the garbage when opposing players got too frisky. We will definitely miss those two. BUT...

Big Ed Jovanovski played an entire season healthy for the first time in years and had 51 freakin points. Jovocop is back, in fine form and will be shepherding a young but dangerous blueline core. Derek Morris and Zbynek Michalek are always steady, always able and can always be counted on to hold up their end of the backfield (look for Morris' big shot to be a factor this season... can you say contract year?).

The biggest change for the blueline is the replacements. Kurt Sauer is bringing his +17 from Colorado (along with his love of shutting down the west coast's finest)



and dark horse David Hale (who has yet to score his first NHL goal after 215 games) but maintained a neutral +/- 0 with Calgary. He'll be battling our Matt Jones for the number 6 spot. Jones shared the spot with up and comer Keith Yandle last season. Yandle will have a lot riding on his shoulders for 2008 as the Coyotes coaching staff are depending on him for offensive production in all situations.

The Great One has gotten his coaching legs under him and works magic with the young guns. Ulf Samuelson is managing to instill some mean in our backend and much like last season's surprising performances they will refuse to be pushed around and refuse to give anyone 2 easy points. Don Maloney is working on a tight budget but that doesn't mean we don't have quality and depth.

These Coyotes are a blue collar, hard working team, based on speed and tenacity. I think they'll finally get a taste of the post season, they probably won't go deep, but just making it past mid April is another step in the right direction and will solidify Don Maloney's status as resident genius w/ a sustainable plan.

Underestimate and ridicule them at your own risk.

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We blasted the Coyotes last year, but we totally agree with the Onyx on this one.
You cannot take the Coyotes lightly this season.
You have to love what they did in the offseason with getting Jokinen. The Yotes finished above .500 last year and only missed the playoffs by 8 points.
Jokinen should be worth 8 points in the standings this year.
Throw in the leader Shane Doan, and a bunch of sick prospects, and the Great Homo might have something brewing in the Phoenix.

Projected: 8-10th place

Leahy in '08

The Hockey News is losing one of its major writers, and they are taking open applicants.[THN]

And [Going Five Hole's] Sean Leahy thinks he should become the next writer.

While we would love to get into the mix, we don't think the hockey news would approve of photoshops of Wayne Gretzky with a penis in his mouth.

We know this, so thats why we are publicity backing Leahy in his quest.

Leahy in '08, check out his [facebook page] as well.

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[ Empty Netters ]

As if digging up something like that is not enough to earn your adulation, head on over to [ Abel to Yzerman ] to see just how fortunate we are to have a solid guy like Seth blogging over at the Post Gazette.

When you look around at hockey beat writers and their internet endeavors, standard procedure seems to be completely disregarding the existence of any other blogger on the internet.

By the by, the HCMT bobblehead is a promotional giveaway for the baby Pens this season. [ WBS ]

If that thing only said "You're Soff" every time you shook it's head it would take over the dollar as the accepted currency in western PA.

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::: The Steelers destroyed the Texans lives on Sunday .[Mondesishouse]

Yea you saw that link.

The coldwar is over, and we are cool with the gang at Mondesi's House again.


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ESPN = STUNNED



WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Don't watch the "the Blitz" on ESPN.
Chris Berman whips his balls out and whipes them on a picture of Tom Brady.

Get over it.

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Back to hockey, what is going on with the Penguins store on NHL.com?



Why is there a lightning flag in there?

[Thanks to Dustin H.]

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This post is mail in city, but today we are beginning the season previews, so deal with it.


Go Pens.

Gameday [1]: Texans vs Steelers

1:00 PM


For all the making fun of the Steelers we do.
We still watch the games.

It isn't a playoff game so the Steelers have a chance.


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Go Pens

376 Is A Joke

Accuse us of mailing this one in, but we just sat in traffic for over 4 hours, and went nowhere.
Just a terrible experience.

To sum it up, it was worse than leaving the "Ice Bowl."

This has nothing to do with the Penguins or hockey, but something needs to be done.

Thanks to the assbags at Penndot, the Parkway East was at a complete stand-still. [KDKA]

For those who are from out of town, the Parkway is a major roadway between Pittsburgh and some suburbs.

If someone finds some type of movement to fight the assholes at Penndot, we will get on board.

The people who are responsible for this mess, need to pay some type of price.

What a joke.

Nice One, Bruva

Your 2008-09 GameDay Inspirations

First off, it was amazing how so many different people requested the same people.
We were going to conduct a poll of all the entries, but there were just too many.
We went through them all as the most objective people alive.
This is what we came out with.

We reserve the right to change this lineup throughout the season.
Because these are pictures on the internet.


Doc Holliday


PC


Captain Ahab


Al Borland


Ponch


Howard The Duck


Marc Summers


Mel Gibson from RANSOM


Dr. Grant


Creed


PS


Reading Rainbow Guy


MIYAGI


Carl Winslow / Al Powell


Donkey Lips


Grimace


Jimmy Chitwood
[Sick]


Yokozuna


*We will whittle these selections down to a crucial 6 or 7 before October 4th.
We also reserve the right to kill anyone off during the season and add clutch performers.
Not listed here are the veterans from last season who have yet to report to camp.

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It's official. And people ain't happy. [ Icethetics ]





WAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

We like what [ Icethetics ] does, but honestly some of the people over there are the whiniest people this side of Ranger fans.

We're not gonna re-check those comments, but honestly,
no one used the "at least they won something in 2008" line?
Hacks.

Go Pens

Ted Leonsis Is A Filmmaker, Idiot; Drinks Own Pee

If we have one regret this summer, it is we didn't involve ourselves in the [Mckeon/Leonis] thing that went down over the past few weeks.

However sometimes life gives you a second chance to job.


We just so happened to be browsing [Ted's Take] when we saw that he is apparently a filmmaker now, and he wants everyone to know it.

Seems he is in charge of this movie called "Kicking It."

So, what is this movie about you ask?
Sit down for this one.

"The lives of homeless people are changed forever through an international soccer competition. This film follows six players as they set off for Cape Town, South Africa to play in the Homeless World Cup."
[IMDB]

Yeah that's right, he actually made a movie about homeless people playing soccer.
It gets worse.

ESPN is airing it.

It gets extra worse, the whole thing is narrated by Colin Farrell.

Honestly, if someone would have asked, "what type of movie would you think Ted Leonsis could make?"

The natural response would be,"Free Willy 4."


All we can say is that this is one of the dumbest things we have ever heard of.
It still keeps getting better, though.

Take this most recent [chat transcript] that Jokeonsis had with ESPN.



Did he really say "this film focuses on how a ball could change someones life"?

"It Can."

And oh 77% of the players go on to school or acquiring a home?
The rest go back to being homeless?

Are you kidding?




At this point we are unable to go on.
It is homeless people playing soccer and a cracked-out Colin Farrell narrating.


Somehow the chat ends on this note:



Go Pens.

Hockey Experts Don't Know Shit From Shinola

Since there's three of us writing now around these parts,
sometimes one of us doesn't get to chime in on a big-time topic.

The big blowup recently about the hockey world short-changing the Pens' chances this season
is a good thing.
If not for any other reason, it's just the fact that it means hockey season is ball-stakingly close.

Regardless, if you don't think these experts have the fans' reactions in mind when banging out their predictions, you're probably dead wrong.

We've definitely been in that boat -- saying something just to get a rise out of somebody.
It's a great feeling.

A big shot was fired from Puck Daddy (Greg) over at Yahoo.
He's a good man over there.
His passion for hockey, his style, (and his front-page position on Yahoo.com) are all underrated when it comes to capturing casual fans to a sport we hold near and dear.

But let's not forget. When Greg goes to bed at night,
he's changing into New Jersey Devils PJ's.

Regardless of the professionalism with which he dominates,
it's impossible to think that Penguin hatred doesn't seep into his mind, through his balls, and down to his keyboard.

Besides, his favorite team is one aging-goaltender retirement press conference away
from becoming the Columbus Blue Jackets.


woooooo

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For we, as a fanbase, to think the Pens will be in contention to win the East does not make us idiots.
It doesn't make us homers.
Has anyone taken a look around the Eastern Conference lately?

We won't get into that just yet.
That's what the individual team season previews are for.

Anyone remember where the Pens were headed before Hossa?
Pens fans remember. They were headed for a top-3 finish in the conference, points-wise.

They spent a large chunk of the season with players lost to injury.
Doesn't anyone remember this? Cindy Gaysby was out for quite a while, so was MAF.

And we're not even saying this to reassure ourselves:
Gaysby was not 100% during any part of the playoffs.
Only people who watch him night in and night out would realize it.

For hockey experts not in touch, they conveniently forget all about the injury bug.

The Adam Hall departure?
He played, what, 8 games last season?

Gary Roberts departure?
He's still shaking off that groin he pulled in the 1946 All-Star Game.

BGL and Ruutu departure?
Not even an issue, although people want it to be.

Ryan Malone departure?
Meh. If he doesn't break his nose in the SCF, who knows what's going on right now?
Although his goal total last year is nothing to pee on.

Hossa departure?
Thanks for making the 2007 Eastern Conference playoffs easier.

Yeah, that's right. That's all he did.
If he was vital to the team as everyone wants us to believe, wouldn't the Pens have won the Cup?
All Hossa did was let us breeze through the East with a 12-2 record.

Without Hossa, we may have gone 6 or 7 games with the Rangers or Flyers.
Without Hossa, the road would have been harder, but it would have been done.

But we (and the rest of the hockey world) have to realize that the Pens, as a unit,
are much better off this October than they were last October.

Now that the smoke has cleared, aren't we all happy $7 mill of our team's payroll isn't going to Hossa's National City checking account?
Case closed, for us anyway.

And in the sporting world where "experience" is the X-factor every time teams are compared,
doesn't a trip to the SCF bring some of that love the Pens' way?

Apparently not. But oh well.

So Chris Simon Is Still A Nutjob

From [Empty Netters] this morning.

Chris Simon up to some old tricks in the KHL:




What a pyscho.

Expect More

With August over, we've survived the summer months. Maybe some of you out there got a tan, maybe some had a nice vacation. Great.

The postseason was long enough ago that it feels as if you very well may have been watching new Seinfeld episodes before tuning in to game six. But not long enough to erase the bitter taste from how the season ended.

We’re beginning to toe a line where we stop talking about last season, or the draft, or free agency, and we start talking about this season. Let the hyperbole begin.


[ Spector ]

Already talking heads are chiming in on the Penguins chances in 2009. They are saying how magically the run was last year, and how things really aligned. They are talking like Crosby strolled out of a 7-11, pulled a quarter out of his pocket and scratched off three treasure chests.
And most of all they are talking about how hard it’ll be for them to repeat. Expect less they say.



[ Puck Daddy ]

That’s fair. Anyone who has watched a team lose 50 games and end their season in early spring knows last season was something different.

And it’s safe. There are some new names in the locker room. More than a couple guys bought one-way tickets to other cities. You’re gonna see a different team take the ice. But if there is anything we are not here at the Pensblog, it’s safe. We stand under trees during lightning storms. We are exposed to the sun for an extended amount of time without sun screen. We quietly scoff behind danger's back.

Expect less?

14 postseason victories ain’t too shabby. In fact, it’s pretty close. But this isn’t horse shoes. This isn’t hand grenades.

We say expect more.

More than a few good teams got better this offseason. And if they want to crown teams in August, let them crown ‘em. But unless they’ve got white gloves and are being escorted by a short goofy looking guy, some hack writer from the “We-Don’t-Give-A-Flying-F Daily” doesn’t hand out the Stanley Cup.


Stoosh, tell the nice kids out there how many days we got left.

Meet Mario Lemule

This is all from [LGP]. We aren't quite sure what to make of it.


There are this things called Zooperstars.

Meet [Mario Lemule].






From ZOOperstars .com:

"This guy's no jackass - it's Mario Lemule! The goofy grinnin' donkey gets really funky when he hits the ice. This guy slips and slides, jumps and jives to the hottest, horse hoovin' hip-hop hits. Mario spends a lot of time in his private stallion stable in a prominent part of the Pittsburgh suburbs. Look out pooper-scoopers...don't step in Mario's manure!"


We have no clue what the hell these things are. But apparently they are like 8 feet tall?

Some other names:

Whale Gretzky, Roger Calmens, Cow Ripken, Jr.

It just goes on and on.

But wait, there is more:




God help us all.

Governor Palin Gets Pens Jersey, Your Daughter Could Be Preggo

[Thanks to Den P] for this pic:


[Check out that dude with the sun glasses. All business.]

We don't get political here because we could care less about this shit, but judging by what politic freak Charlie tells us, everything Palin has done has become a lightning rod for criticism.

In the above pic she is holding a Pens Jersey, Obama accused her of diving and padding stats using secondary assists during a debate yesterday.





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Surprise, Surprise us late on news.

Everyone had this little info, we'll credit [Empty Netters] because we want too.

Some of the Penguins have new numbers according to [Penguins.com]

Jeff Taffe is now 22, Alex Goliigoski is now 13, and the most important of them all.

Mark Eaton's new number =7

So it looks like [Jschiff's] former masterpiece has become a reality.


At least this town will have one #7 that is decent.

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Comeback City

If there is one thing us Pens fans know how to do, it is comeback from the depths of hell.
Update on [Icethetics] poll:




Down huge yesterday, we have almost completed the stunning comeback.



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Gameday Characters


So many great ones rolling in.

Here are a few we had to sign:






Neil Patrick Harris will not be signed, because he sucks.


WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Go Pens.

Alright Mr. Wonka, Name Your Price

If you haven’t heard by now, the Ottawa Senator’s dealt Andrej Meszaros to the Tampa Bay Lightning last weekend. [ Ottawa Citizen ]

Then the Lightning proceeded to sign the largely unproven defenseman to a contract that only Rob Lowe and Veruca Salt’s pops would approve of.

“But I want a slightly above average Slovakian defenseman, daddy. I want one now.”

Also, we just ended a sentence with a preposition. Somewhere our 10th grade English teacher is disappointed.

Anyways, we hadn’t really said anything about it by now because at this point following the horrendous moves of the Tampa Bay franchise is like staying on top of the day-to-day happenings of Lidsay Lohan. She is going to do Coke. She is going to get into drunken car accidents.

To be relevant at this point she’d have to make a decent movie, or start studying String Theory at CalTech. The latter of which is most likely more probable.

So why do we care? Well, first, because there was a Charlie and the Chocolate Factory joke there. But also because it turns out the Lightning wanted to sign Meszaros to an offersheet. But they couldn’t because when you sign a RFA to an offer sheet you have to compensate the other team with draft picks.

And who has not only our trust, but also a pocket full of Tampa Bay’s draft picks?

When the Lightning returned to Shero inquiring about some picks, you know, the ones they gave him so they could talk to a couple pending free agents a couple days early, he politely told them to pack sand. [ THN ]

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Joke




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Speaking of jokes.
The leagues worst defenseman Byran McCabe finally got dealt to the Panthers. [TSN.ca]


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A nice Penguins blogger roundtable from good friend Tony at
[The Confluence].
You know the season is coming when you start seeing line combo's flying around like your grandma's underwear.

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[ Señor Pat ]

Tú eres el mejor hombre, Pat.

We could have used the usted form, but we used the tú because Pat and us are just cool like that.

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Penguins. Oilers. Championship Round [ icethetics ]

The Oilers are up huge.
But they have blown leads before.

Go Pens

Housekeeping

After mailing it in all summer, and taking a much needed break.
It is finally back to business for us.

Naturally, it is a slow process, but you have to start somewhere.
We are all caught up on our tv shows, girlfriends/boyfriends, and everything else we ignore during the season.

Charlie is back from Cali, and gayer than ever.
He is even being featured on a billboard by Duquense.



Thanks to [ DiabeticsRcooler ] for the heads up.

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First things first.


This had to be done.
As much as we love looking back, we are so far behind at this point there is no way to catch up.
And we are cool with that.
It was a good season, but it is time to start looking forward to this year.


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Next up...

For those C-bloggers interested, Pinicblog is this Saturaday.
[Pinicblog] facebook has more info.

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[Jerseyblog] is still going, so if you want your shit, do it.

[TeamPensblog] still needsplayers for XBOX and PS3


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And lastly this is one of our major projects we need help with.

If you read the blog last season during the playoffs, you know we went with different characters and such in every gameday for good luck.

The Beejees, Ed Harris, Andy and Red, President Whitmore and others made several clutch appearances.

We lost our go to man, Hacksaw, in free agency over the summer. He signed a huge deal with [Webleedteal].



We plan on using different people for every game this season. And we need your suggestions.
So email us, or whatev.

It can be anyone from favorite cartoon character, musicians, actors, etc.

We are going to keep track of how people perform, and if the Pens make the playoffs, we will play the hot hand.

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Go Pens

Last Shot Wins Tonight

We have a streak to uphold.
We are slowly digging out of our summer.

This is helping:




Go Pens