Test

Whoops.

Due to Free Agency, we actually just remembered we were supposed to recap the news tonight.
It's not happening.

Check out this clown:

A Jobber's Guide To Free Agency

Last year's free agency was all about big-time cash money.
Debbie Briere, Chris Drury, and Homo Gomez all got insane contracts.
And yes, for the most part, those players were bad...

But the Flyers and Rangers both made the playoffs, so it wasn't all bad.

Especially for the Flyers, who were worst in the NHL
and made it all they way to the Eastern Conference Finals.

Although Briere's contract is a little misunderstood (he is only counting $6.5 against the cap),
some NHL teams still had to see that overpaying isn't going to get you anywhere.

But as bad as the Flyers looked on that end, they did make two quality signings in God Timonen and Scott Hartnell.
If the draft was any indication (13 trades in the first round), this free agency is going to be crazy.



And with late-breaking news that Tampa Bay is paying Ryan Malone $7 and $8 mill his first two years, God only knows whats going to happen.

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As we saw last year, it is a full-on frenzy. Remember the Michael Nylander situation?
Remember when Kevin Lowe started trying to sign everyone's players?

Once one player signs, GM's have to make split-second decisions.

A year ago, we saw the Penguins make some moves in the early hours, signing Petr Sykora and Daryl Sydor.
Both signings had impacts. Sykora was money in the bank.
Sydor struggled, but he still played minutes for the Pens so whatev.

This year, the Penguins have tons of unrestricted free agents leaving, and there is a belief they will be major players tomorrow.

Ray Shero isn't going to panic. And he doesn't have to.
Here is an seemingly endless stream of free agents who every GM is looking at.

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Stats Key: GP -- G -- A -- P
Goalie Stats -- Ehhhhhh, figure them out.

LADISLAV NAGY




Nagy has been running injuryblog for the past couple seasons.
When healthy, he was hovering around point-per-game status with Phoenix.

He's coming off neck surgery, so his price may be low,
potentially making him a low-risk, high-reward player...and he's only 29 years old.

MARIAN HOSSA


Beast. The hottest commodity this summer.

JAROMIR JAGR




JJ may very well have been dying alive in New York these past few years.
He's 36 years old, and it seems like everything in his environment has to be congealing for him to excel.
He wants a multiyear deal, which the Rangers are balking at.

SEAN AVERY




We got a close-up look at Sean Avery during this year's playoffs.
Maybe with the right linemates, he could bump up to a 20-goal threat.
And it's funny to say, but if the Pens lose Ruutu and feel they need that kind of player, well...

D -- BRAD STUART




We've all heard fleeting mentions of his name when the NHL is discussed.
He was steady for the Wings in these most recent playoffs.
He's been passed around the NHL like Lindsay Lohan at a crackhouse.

PETER FORSBERG


He's done. He has more question marks that The Riddler.
Paying more than 80 cents a year for him would be idiocy.

D -- RON HAINSEY




This guy could be a sleeper. He's free from the shackles of the mandatory 3-year entry contract.
He has silently gotten the job done with the Blue Jackets.
Could be a diamond in the rough in this free-agent pool.

JASON WILLIAMS




Another potential sleeper on July 1st.
He missed the last half of this past season with a sports-hernia injury.
Again, with the right linemates, he could be a beast.

JOSE THEODORE




He has had a meteoric fall from grace since winning the Hart and Vezina trophies in 2001-02.
Is he as attractive as Cristobal Huet? Probably not.

TODD BERTUZZI

Bertuzzi's career continues to downspiral as the Ducks bought out his contract.
Whoever signs him up is rolling the dice...and their balls.

MATS SUNDIN




At 37, Sundin's career is in its twilight.
But he's been bringing at least 70 points to the table for his whole career.

CRISTOBAL HUET




Anyone with a hole in net will be calling up Huet's agent.
He's the biggest name in net this summer.
He rejuvenated the Caps after being acquired at the deadline this past season.

BILLY MAYS




BRIAN ROLSTON




He's one of the top 5 or 6 names being thrown around.
Everyone wouldn't mind having him on their team.
Tampa Bay traded for exclusive bargaining rights to him.
But he looks hell-bent on testing the open market.

RADIM VRBATA




With 27 goals last season, Vrbata nearly doubled his total from the previous year.
But in the last 22 games of the season, he went scoreless. It's a risky pickup.

At 27, he is prime to breakout, but outside of Phoenix, he's likely to get less ice time
and isn't likely to repeat his '07 output.

Could he be this year's Chris Drury?

D -- DMITRI KALININ




He fell out of favor with Sabres brass.
They didn't even think of offering him a contract to stay.

But he's a name you've heard more than once in your travels.
A change of scenery could give him an erection.

D -- PAUL MARA




Handcuffed in the Rangers' defensive system, Mara couldn't match his Phoenix stats.
That fact can't be lost on him or the NHL GM's out there.

Whoever fails to land Redden or Campbell will overpay for Mara.

D -- WADE REDDEN




At 31, Redden is the cream of the crop when it comes to d-men this offseason.
He wants out of Ottawa and is looking to score big in the free market.
In '05-'06, Redden lead the league in +/-, and he is +47 since the lockout.

PAVOL DEMITRA




An unreal 93 points in the cluth-and-grab NHL of the 2002-03 season.
He was mud the following year after teams got hip to him.
He landed in Minnesota, where defense is first, and his stats went to mud.

He'll turn 34 early into the '08-'09 season and could excel with a perfect mix of linemates.

CORY STILLMAN




We're too lazy to look it up, but Stillman probably played with Demitra in that 2002-03 season.
Stillman came to the attention of many during his Cup runs with Tampa in '04 and Carolina in '06.

He's the classic case of the "wily veteran."

MIROSLAV SATAN

At 34, no one is sure how much Satan has left.
But the fact is, he still used to be a 30-goal scorer.
If he lands with the right team, he could return to being all business.

RUSLAN FEDOTENKO




Fedotenko ain't no joke.
He is another player approaching his prime that will be good for about 50-60 points a year.
Last year for the Islanders, he was streaky but effective.

He will be a good fit on someone's third line...
and maybe even a second-line player on a team in need of top-6 forwards.

GUMBY




Gumby was huge in the 80's. He is making a comeback.
He has the flexibility to play on any of your four lines.

D -- BROOKS ORPIK




Orpik went from having a terrible year to playing the best hockey of his NHL life in the span of three months.
He has developed into a big-time hitter, and his presence is huge on the ice.

He finally became the defenseman everyone thought he'd be for the Pens, and to see him leave would be almost as brutal as overpaying for him.

MICHAEL RYDER




Ryder is a bit of a mystery.
Two straight 30-goal seasons, but then he had an awful year in his contract year.

The guy is a legit 25-goal man. His past indicates as such.
Like so many others this year, he is entering his prime.

D -- MICHAL ROZSIVAL




That is a picture of mud.
Which is the same as Rozsival.

MARKUS NASLUND




It is very easy to forget how big of a monster Naslund was in Vancouver.
He is a little up there in age at 35, but you'd have to think he has two good years left in him.
He is a proven 30-goal scorer, and Vancouver had nothing last year.

The Canucks might bring him back, but if not...HMM...

KRISTIAN HUSELIUS




Huselius could be someone's Petr Sykora this year.
After Iron Mike released him in Florida, Calgary picked him up.
And he played for Kennan yet again.

He has been playing big-time minutes, throwing in 25+ goals a season.
Talent is coming out of his pores, and he is only 30. Do it.

D -- MARK STREIT




Mark Streit blew up last year with 62 points.
It was his first sick season. No one knows if it was a fluke.

He is good, but Montreal's powerplay is sick, and that's where he got a lot of points.
If he gets anywhere close to Brian Campbell numbers, you know the world is going to end.

D -- BRIAN CAMPBELL




He was one of the prizes at the trade deadline,
and he is now the prize of the Free Agent sweepstakes.

He has all the skills you need in a d-man, and he can score.
He is going to be a rich man on Tuesday.

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There are many other good players out there. Buckle up.

Go Pens.

Malone, Roberts On Verge

Looks like the Lightning aren't playing around. [ Sportsnet ]

Roberts looks to be signing for $2 mill a year.
Malone looks like he's gonna sign a long-term deal worth $30 mill.


Mistake

Cruel Summer

Gary Roberts and Ryan Malone are no longer Penguins.
It hurts, but it was going to happen either way.
It went down three days early and Shero picked up at least a 4th round pick. 3rd if Malone signs.
Solid transaction.

:::

:: [ G-Dubs ] tipped us off to a post over at [ Eye on the Media ] about an incredible auction.
Get ready to cash in those bar mitzvah bonds.
Someone over at [ eBay ] is auctioning off Weezer's Sega Genesis from the 1995 blue album tour.
With it comes a handful of games, including a very worn NHL '95.
Says the band:

Everyone would play NHL 95 for hours as we rolled along in the bus, and when things didnt go well, the console got punched! But it survived!

:: [ NHL.com ] released the off-season calendar.
Please try to contain your excitement.


:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

We missed Wingblog last night, because we are jokes.
Stephen S. was the only Staff member on site.

Thankfully ShOez recapped the events.:

:::


Wingblog Recapblog



I'm not the best of writers, but I figured I would give recapblog a shot since neither Derek nor Adam could make it tonight. I'm not witty, so don't have big expectations. Hah.

You can't begin this recap without first thanking the girl who made it possible. Eileen rules for setting this up and creating such a fun event. What a solid move.

As for me and the girl, it was an hour-long trip to the Robinson area as it seemed to be the same for most of the others, too. j.s. had a two hour trip and lucky Stephen only had a ten minute cruise. It was well worth the time, gas, whatever. This was crucial.

We arrived 20 minutes early and sat in the parking lot listening to some of the most awkward music I've heard.





Some sort of political modern rap or something. I don't know. No one knows.



The clock on my stereo turned 6 so I figured we may as well go stand out front and see who shows up. No one was there. I worried that I somehow managed to go to the wrong one. After 10 minutes, we went inside to find brndlynn and j.s. already chilling in the entryway waiting for people. They spotted us by our Pens shirts. j.s. already had his beer in hand. He was prepared. They took us four to our table of 13. We were then joined by coffeytalk and the ringleader, eileenover. Graphics guru Stephen soon joined us and the conversation really started going. We soon got the call that Pensblog Adam was not coming. Despressionblog. To continue the sadness, the first talks were of Bugsy and Roberts and their departure from our beloved Pens. johnny v. soon joined us after he dealt with construction on the parkway.

Charlie was spotted.



Joose was also dealing with the construction. Someone else joined us for a little while with their girl but I can't remember his cblog username. My apologies. Somewhere around this time, Stephen started nerdblog and pulled out his sketchbook filled with the Pensblog Mascot. We decided that it was time to discuss about a possible name for our mascot. Within 15 seconds, we had decided that the only option was to call him Dick. There you have it.

Dick.



The StUHshes showed up right before monsoonblog. Monsoonblog left Joose stranded in the parking lot for several minutes before she weathered the rain and made it inside. Wingblog in full effect. Upon her arrival, Stephen enhanced nerdblog by pulling out his Macbook. Only a dedicated graphics man like him would come prepared to wingblog by bringing a laptop. What a solid play. Then it was time to be stunned. He brought out Pensblog Jerseyblog with some amazing designs that possibly have a bright future. One in particular. I will let him and the staff discuss about all of that later.

::::::

Pensblog note:


Stephen did more, we will release them with the details next week.
Now back to ShOez:

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We formed The Pensblog Council after realizing we took it upon ourselves to decide on the mascot's name and which jersey design we liked best.



Somewhere around this time, wilsmith made an appearance and talked with us for a little before returning to his group of friends. Also at some point, Johnny v. took it upon himself to make a toast to all those fellow cbloggers who did not get a chance to make it to wingblog and we all toasted with him.




Copsblog



Quaker Steak realized that, like the rest of the world, no one wanted to watch the Mets and Yankees. After a short period of no TV at all, Quaker Steak found it best to put on the only TV show that needs to be shown in a family restaurant. Cops. The episode began with some hooker being jobbed by the cops. Then our lives changed. Pittsburghblog. In what ended up being a solid move on QS&L's part, some joke got majorly jobbed by a police dog in some dump of a Pittsburgh neighborhood. Blood all over his shirt. They caught him on foot quickly.

The dog pulled a Mike Tyson on his ear.



Joke = stunned.

The final segment featured some beanpole of a jokette in some suspicious vehicle in some back dirt road alleyway somewhere in the city. No idea what was up. She needed to buy a bra though. Grossblog.

QS&L then breaks our hearts by turning on the Pirates game. They were playing Tampa Bay. Coincidenceblog. We were stunned.



We then got our food and silence fell upon the table for the next 20 or so minutes. The conversation soon picked back up. Everything from the Pens, to food, to music (especially the crap playing in QS&L), to Youtube, to Guitar Hero, etc was discussed over the next hour and a half. At one point, me and Stephen managed to isolate ourselves by bringing nerdblog to full effect. Solid. One of the highlights was this video:




What a play by the ref to break up that fight.

Around 10, me, the girl, and Stephen headed out. Stoosh reports that everyone else stuck around for about another hour or so. My memory is beginning to fail me as it usually does. I think I covered mostly everything. If not, find out the rest of the details in cblog. Last but certainly not least, here are the pictures from wingblog thanks to Stoosh. Enjoy!







Hope everyone enjoyed the post! We wanted something written up. I know I'm not the wittiest person, but hopefully this kept you entertained! Wingblog 2.0 soon to be announced. Hopefully more of you can make it!

-sh0ez.


::::

Thanks to ShOez for that.

Whenever the next wingblog is planned, we will let everyone know.
And we'll be there, bet your life on it.



Go Pens

Breaking News: Malone and Roberts Traded to Tampa Bay

Per [ Tampa Bay Lightning.com]

UPDATE:

[TSN.ca] confirms: Fourth round draft pick. Third round pick if Malone signs.
Better than nothing.






WWGRD near southbeach?

Intervention NHL

Every week or so we want to expand our NHL knowlegde, and get some sight on the rest of the NHL. Thats why we asked Kevin Schultz from [Barry Melrose Rocks ] to give us his point of view with some news and notes from around the NHL.

:::::::::::

Your Weekly Dose of Hockey News from Outside Pittsburgh (Yes, it does exist.)

Hi, kids. I’m Kevin Schultz from [FanHouse] and my own shack, [Barry Melrose Rocks.] Don’t mind me. Mommy and daddy (or daddy and daddy, to be more accurate I guess) invited me over for a little weekend get together. I don’t bite. Swear. But actually, this is more of an intervention than a get together.

You see, there’s more to hockey than Pittsburgh. Sure, Pittsburgh is great. You have that Sidney fellow and some other guys. And the Russian one. I hear he’s pretty good. There’s more out there. There’s more to life. Trust me on this one. I think you need to get out of that musty old house and experience some new things at the neighbors’ house. Not that weird kid with the curly red hair who lives at the end of the block. Stay away from him.

I’m not saying you should give up on Pittsburgh. No. In fact, keep waving those towels and yelling your lungs out until The Building That Doesn’t Make Me Feel So Bad About the Nassau Coliseum is finally replaced. Continue your love affair with Mr. Roberts, even if he may not be having any of it. Keep spray painting “free candy” on the side of your vans and using MS Paint to write “ßstunned” on pictures of strangers. And whatever you do please, please keep prank calling Fedko. That is the funniest shit I have seen in a long time. Don’t worry, I won’t judge you for any of it.

Look. All I’m saying is that you need to broaden your horizons a little. Keep all that stuff you have now and add a little of the outside world at your leisure. That’s what I’m here for. I’m here to help.

So what did you miss while you were ogling over the Penguins off-season moves this week? Glad you’ve read this far. I honestly didn’t expect you to.

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Remember those guys up in Toronto? Jerks, I know. They’re totally throwing everyone over board. And it is HILARIOUS. Darcy Tucker, gone. Andrew Raycroft (also known as “Joke”), voted off the island. Kyle Wellwood’s gone too but he’s not all that important. [And then there’s Bryan McCabe.] He’s not gone… Yet. Give that some time. Right now they’re working on setting his house on fire or maybe killing his cat. Whatever they need to do to get him to waive that no trade clause.

Cliff Fletcher is going all serial killer kind of crazy and unloading on everyone. No one is safe in Toronto and the Canadian Forces Reserve (all four of them) has been called in to try and diffuse the situation. Carlton the Bear is being held at gunpoint at this hour. It’s a tense and funny rebuilding situation.




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The NHL’s owners are losing money hand over fist. We have to stop the madness before the world collapses in on itself. Canadian teams make West Philly look like Beverly Hills. This, to some extent, is all we heard during and prior to the lockout a few years ago.

What a bunch of trash.

A quote from the EMacAttak over at [FanHouse]:

The NHL team payroll range for the 2008-09 season. According to the NHLPA release, the minimum salary will be $40.7 million, the "Adjusted Midpoint" will be $48.7 million and an "Upper Limit" of the cap will be $56.7 million.
Are you freaking kidding ? We started out with a $39 million cap after the lockout. I know the Canadian economy is strong but the American one isn’t. Maybe the Mounties are carrying us all on their backs. Who knows.

What I do know is that if we’re headed for another strike because these guys are spending too much money on players I’m going to take a two-by-four and put it through Gary Bettman. Actually I’ll probably just bitch about it all on my blog. That’s all I’m really good for. Plus I’m lazy.

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The mildly anticipated release of the Love Guru was met with invisible enthusiasm as it debuted last weekend. It debuted at #4 at the box office earning only $14 million. Yeah, I did just put “only” in front of “fourteen million dollars”. Regardless, Mike Myers is still a millionaire and still hasn’t been funny in at least 10 years by my count.

The next story to watch about this movie is to see if they recoup all of their advertising costs. Is it me or does this movie have the biggest advertising budget in the history of the world? We heard all about it throughout the playoffs. Then it’s on TV when I’m not watching hockey. Now I’m hearing all about it every two seconds on the radio in New York. It’s gone so far that there are now ads on the Islanders’ website. Seriously, Islander fans? That’s one of your target demographics? How many demos do you have?

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

[Earl Sleek]


Last year, Niedermayer tried to pull a Brett Favre/Roger Clemens and sit out half the season while making a decision on whether or not he should play a game for a living. Yeah, he couldn’t figure out if he wanted to, you know, play professional ice hockey. Trying to milk that decision for all its worth didn’t really work out for Scotty last year when he realized that no one outside of Anaheim really give a damn if he came back or not.

This year, he saved us all the trouble and speculation and did what Brett and Roger should have been doing all these years. He made his decision within a reasonable amount of time following the end of the season. Thanks, Scott. Appreciate it. Now we can all get on with our lives.

Oh and the [Ducks owner is getting screwed by the feds]. It’s always kind of comforting to see a rich prick go down. Then you think about his family and realize you’re the asshole.



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If you know anything about me, then you know that I have a blog called Barry Melrose Rocks. I’m not a crazy fan who beats off to Barry every night, but I do think he does good work. So, naturally, I have to give a mention to Barry’s hiring as head coach of the Tampa Bay Lightning in this here piece.

The Tampa Bay Lightning are quite the franchise right now. [Rock star new owners]. Newly minted #1 draft pick. Star player with an uber contract. [Wacky new coach] with a convicted felon as his assistant. And they don’t even have a real goalie!



The situation down there is starting to turn into a Mike Myers movie. Sheesh.


But that’s all for me. This was a fun little play date. Thanks for having me and hopefully it won’t be the last time we have this little get together. It’s OK to make new friends and to be honest I kind of like you. But not in that way. Thanks to Adam, Derek and Charlie for having me.
Peace.

Pork And Beans

Orpik, rabble rabble.
Hossa, rabble rabble.

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How pumped is Phil Hartman for Ice Hockey on Atari?



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Early stages of the C-Blog Map.
We're gonna have two maps.
One of the whole USA...and then one for Pennsylvania alone.



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Putting a Winter in the Sun in this post would actually make the post more pathetic than it currently is.


Go Pens

These Foolish Games

Nothing going on until July 1.

And then after that, there's nothing going until early September.
We're in the early stages of the dog days of summer.






[ Eric H. ]

:: Orpik and his agent shot down the Penguins offer. [ Trib ]
Numbers weren't released, so any figures on the internet are hearsay.

:: [ Puck Daddy ] found the link of a Penguins blogger
who was bored and decided to compare Orpik to Scott Stevens.

:: Martin Straka left the NHL to play on and help manage a Czech club. [ NY Post ]
Whoops, no he didn't. [ TSN ]
There's confusion surround the Straka situation.
It's no surprise that his agent is Ritch Winter, Fiesta's agent.





We were creepin' on [ LGP ] and found a thread discussing the new arena.

Will the rising costs of everything due to gasoline prices push the arena over-budget?
The Penguins are contractually bound to pay for any runover cost.




The team salary cap for next season is up $6.4 million to $56.7 million. [ ESPN ]

After the lockout, the team cap was $39 million.
It's gone up nearly $18 million in 3 years.

Are we dipping back into the pre-lockout days...inevitably on our way to another lockout?
Or is the current financial structure of the NHL just that bamf?





:: There are some solid things brewing at [ The Flower Shop ]
:: [ How 'Bout Dat 'Burgh N'at? ] is dominating the internet due to summer downtime.


:: [ Please Stay Hossa ] -- Online petition.

:: As for our own thoughts on the Marian Hossa Situation,
we turn to Whitney Houston:







Would you pay $5 for any of these? [ Here ]












Game #13
[ The Things We Lost In The Fire. PENS LOSE. ]


3 - 2

ONE OF TWO CONTROVERSIAL JOKES MADE DURING THE SEASON:

What do these pictures have in common?
They both will be dead before you know it.
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

TK's first goal as a Pen.
Like 8 minutes were taken off the board when they went back and realized it was a goal.


WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO




Go Pens

PollBlog

We have gotten some emails asking us if we are doing another wristband sale.
We aren't sure.

To use Roberts is more of a mindset, and even though he won't play for the Pens again, his legend is secure.

For others they might not feel the same way.
And that is more than understandable.

So we'll throw it out to everyone.

The majority speaks.
If it is yes, we'll start taking orders tomorrow.
If no, maybe someone will come up with something else.

Go Pens

Dispelling Tampa Bay North

Somehow over the course of the last 6 months, the term "Tampa Bay North"
has circulated around the Penguns future.

We think Pierre McGuire coined this term.
If he didn't, we are still blaming him.

First things first.
What does "Tampa Bay North" mean?

Tampa Bay North refers to the Lightning's financial struggle to keep a core of talented players together with solid role players.

The players in this case for Tampa Bay were
Vincent Lecavalier, Martin St. Louis, and Brad Richards.

The players in this case for the Penguins
are Sidney Crosby, Evgeni Malkin, Jordan Staal, Marc-Andre Fleury, and Ryan Whitney, even.

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

What Happened?

Late Spring 2004. The Lighting win the Stanley Cup.
Lecavalier, St.Louis, and Richards are clutch during the run.


But that's when it goes bad...


Hockey is canceled for 2004-2005, but after the longest year of our lives,
the plans get ironed out, and the 2005-2006 season is scheduled.

In August 2005, Tampa makes two big moves.

They sign Lecavalier to 4-year, 27.5 million dollar deal.


A few weeks later, they sign St.Louis to a 6-year, $31.5 million dollar year.

Richards is still two years away from free agency.

The Bolts have an honest year, but finish eight in the East,
and get beat by the Sens in the first round.


In May 2006, Richards signs a 5-year, $39-million deal with the Lightning.
Tons of money for a player who isn't that great.

Later in the summer, Scott Burnside writes and interesting piece. [ ESPN ]
"..... As it is, pending a playoff run of some length, the Bolts will lose $8 million to $10 million this season."

Also mentioned in the piece was that Lightnings GM Jay Feaster traded solid Fredrik Modin to Columbus goalie Marc Denis.

Pavel Kubina left in free agency.

According to [ NHLscaps ], the Lightning began the season with a team salary of about $43.9 mill.
Nearly half went to the top three players.

They made the playoffs again, but lost in the first round.

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Why it Went Bad

Here is where we get into the meat of why Tampa Bay and Pittsburgh just will never be the same.

Ownership and Draft picks:

While 66 and friends were saving the world, the Tampa Bay Lightning ownership buckled.

Owner Bill Davidson said he had lost over $70 million by 2007.
But that money was only accounting loses. [ Forbes ]
Tampa Bay is a fairly marketable and money-making team.

Still, Davidson sold the team to Absolute Hockey Enterprises for about $200 million.

But here is where it gets bad.
The bid by Absolute Hockey Enterprises falls through in November of 2007. [ SpTimes ]

All the while, Tampa Bay gets off to a horrible start.
They lose Dan Boyle, and Richards doesn't even show up anymore.

And what doesn't help is the fact that the Lightning have no major help from any homegrown talent.

Over the course 3 years, the Lightning drafted and developed next to nothing.
Why is it important to have some young talent?
Because of Chris Gratton and Tim Taylor, that's why.

The end of the big trio came this past season
when Brad Richards and his way-too-big contract got shipped out to Dallas.

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Why It Won't Happen Here

What so many people fail to realize when they say Pittsburgh is going to become the next Tampa Bay is that the Penguins are now more stable and better-run than the Lightning ever were.

Lightning GM Jay Feaster made some horrible personnel decisions.
Everything should have run through Vinny Lecavalier.
But it didn't.

He was jerked around for many years, until recently.

Sidney Crosby is the highest-paid Penguin and will be so until he retires.
Malkin falls in line afterwards, and so on and so forth.
Marian Hossa had a chance to derail this chain, but no dice.

The Penguins also have a solid organization.
The Wilkes Barre Penguins have been highly successful, and the player development is followed thoroughly.

Having the ability to have a solid young player for at least 3 years is a luxury Tampa Bay never had.

Are the Penguins going to keep everyone? No.

But if you think they are going to wind up like the Tampa Bay Lightning...
If you think a Brad Richards is going to get a $7.8 a year from Ray Shero...

Get real.

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

In keeping with the theme, the Tampa Lightning signed Vincent Lecavalier to 9-year $77 million contract. [ TSN ]

Someone get that man a money suit.

When you want completely non-biased coverage of the Barry Melrose situation,
who better to go to than [Barry Melrose Rocks]?
Plus, he's got ESPN's Barry Melrose farewell montage.

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

:: Free Candy is in talks with Penguins according to Rossi [ Trib ]

Two days. Two Orpik articles. No quotes.

:: We meant to link this story last night.

Meet Luca Caputi. [PG]

Solid player.

:: Bing comes in at number six on the best athlete in the world list. [FOX]

:: Great piece on 7th-round pick Nik D'Agostino. [Faceoff Factor]

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Iain MacIntyre of the Vancouver Sun knows why unsubstantiated rumors reported by newspaper writers never end up happening.

Lack of journalistic integrity, you might guess.
No, of course, not. It's those no-good hockey bloggers. [ Canucks Corner ]

In case you were wondering, we are also responsible for the Baha Men winning a Grammy

and movie theator popcorn costing six bucks.

Sorry.

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Dark Knightblog



What a movie this is going to be.

[RollingStone] reviews it, and it is money.

Thanks to [Nate M.] for the link.

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::


Game #12
[A Tale of Two Periods. PENS LOSE.]


3 - 2

As Malkin's penalty was expiring, Sakic tried to job in a backhand on the doorstep.
Sabu is there.

Things get going again. Pens still in minor control.
And then:



:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::


Go Pens

ray sHERO

First off, we gotta visit the Hossa Sweepstakes.

If Hossa wants the inside track to the Hall of Fame, he stays with Bing.
If he wants the money, he's going elsewhere.
Those are the facts.


These teams look to be the big players in the Hossa Sweepstakes.

Vancouver is willing to part ways with Naslund to make room for Fiesta.
Boston is a Fiesta away from being a force in the East.
Chicago is where the Penguins were two years ago.

*********************************************



Speaking of where the Penguins have been in years passed,
it's time to officially start the Jaromir Jagr Movement.

He is a free agent this offseason.

He left here in 2001, and it wasn't pretty.
Our personal feeling was that he tanked the ECF that year.
It didn't help that he was dying alive.



But times change.
If he hadn't have left, we'd be looking at a different Pens locker room right now.
And that locker room would've been in the Sprint Center.

It would be a fitting end to the saga.
The more we talk about it, the more compelled we are.
And hey, Petr Sykora and JJ are tight.


If Jagr signs, we make WWJJD wristbands.

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

The 190th pick in the draft is whatev.
Henrik Zetterberg was 210th overall back in the day, but he isn't whatev.
So whatev.

Regardless, it just wouldn't be right if we didn't mention a Pittsburgh boy going in the draft.
He's a defenseman from Mt. Lebanon. He plays in the USHL for the Lincoln Stars.
And the Panthers picked him in the draft this past weekend.

Say what you want about him being a late pick in the draft.
He has a page on [ HockeyDB ]. We don't.





Barry Melrose has been hired by the Lightning to be their new head coach. [ TSN ]
He mentioned that Rick Tocchet will be on his coaching staff.

But the biggest residual effect of this hiring will come in the form of NHL's place on ESPN.
Even for a non-hockey fan, Melrose was known as the NHL's ambassador to the viewing public.
[ Puck Daddy ] looked at possible replacements for Melrose.

The move comes in a series of unorthodox moves
by new owners Len Barrie and Oren Kules.

Barrie is, of course, formerly a Pittsburgh Penguin
and currently a ridiculously wealthy British Columbian real-estate developer.



Kulous is a hollywood producer responsible for, among other things, Two and a Half Men.

At the recent entry draft the new owners used their 7th round draft pick to select David Carle, brother of Sharks defensemen Matt Carle.

Carle had previously been a top 60 North American prospect,
but dropped out of the draft Thursday after he was diagnosed with hypertrophic cardiomyopathy, a health issue with which the heart thickens.

All in all it's a nice gesture,
even ignoring the fact that it's most likely just another in a series of publicity stunts.
But realistically it's another prospect not in your system.
You want your neighbors to be nice. You want your hockey team to be good.

This from the same guys who launched the [ SeenStamkos ] campaign,
plastering billboards around the Bay area after drawing the first pick in the draft lottery.

Sure, Barry Melrose has been the face of the sport on TWWL,
but that only qualifies him to be a NHL head coach slightly more than the role in Miracle as Herb Brooks qualifies Kurt Russell.

And while Melrose actually has a coaching history, it was over 13 years ago.
And after coaching the Los Angeles Kings to the Finals in '93, he missed the playoffs in' 94.
And he was canned midseason in '95.

A dismal career coaching record of 79-101.

Just another poor marketing move?
Any link you find regarding the Melrose signing is loaded with commentary.
Good times.


Speaking of Rick Tocchet, the Coyotes became a big deal over the weekend when they landed
Olli Jokinen from the Florida Panthers.

He may need a solid winger to play with.
And look who is a scout for the Coyotes:




The rats are jumping ship up in Toronto.
Actually, the captain is telling them to leave.

Darcy Tucker, Kyle Wellwood, and Andrew Raycroft have been shown the door. [ TSN ]

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Pop Culture Blog


:: [ Flat Earth Society ]

They say the Earth is a flat disc and the moon landings were a joke.

The most recent world model propagated by the Flat Earth Society holds that humans live on a disc, with the North Pole at its center and a 150-foot (45-meter) high wall of ice at the outer edge.


The resulting map resembles the symbol of the United Nations, something Johnson used as evidence for his position.

We went to their website to inquire about the drugs they are taking.
We get blasted by their message board. [ Here ]

Somebody went on and asked about how planes fly,
if planes would fly differently if the world was flat.

You see, all compasses are attracted to magnetic North which is the center of the world. When a plane flies, it bases it's heading on the direction of the compass. The pilot THINKS they are going in a straight direction, but they are not. They are actually flying in circles. The government has special compasses that know how to disregard magnetic north and THOSE planes can fly in a straight line from point A to point B. But they are mostly used in spy missions. Russia was the first country (in modern times) to discover how to aviate this way.

Face it, the world is not round.
There is no proof whatsoever to even remotely suggest that it is. However, there are tons of facts that prove it's flat. Open your mind and stop talking crazy, you REers [ Round Earthers ] !


Our compass points to these people being jackasses.
If this Society is even real at all.


:: Don Imus hates black people again.
Actually, he doesn't. Something he said was just taken the wrong way.
You honestly think he's gonna job black people purposely? Stupid.

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::


We've seen a couple stray requests for a RSS Feed for the blog.
At the top left of the blog, you can click the orange icon to subscribe.

We're naive about this whole RSS thing.
Tell us what we're doing wrong, if anything.


Go Pens

Taking A Break From All Your Worries

For your viewing pleasure - Sketchbookblog!

**************************************

This is where it all started. Yep. On a Post-It.

The original idea was to have him in full uniform:

When developing a character, I usually do a bunch of loose sketches, then 

refine those into character sheets. Part of the character sheet includes 

creating a base model to use rather than redraw the body over and over. 

Once the model was finished, adding anything more would have been a waste:

Bad ass.

The next few images are from a failed attempt at making a 

ConkBlock Penguin. His legs were too short to make pads look right:

Here are some more jobbers that never made the cut:

The start of the playoffs... the original thought was to make a banner for gameday posts:

It was quite a surprise to blink and be up 3-0 on the Sens. Plans changed very quickly when the call for the sweep pic came over. 

Luckily, this sketch was available for the quick modification and turnaround 

(the broom and helmets were added in Photoshop):

The motivation for creating the Pensblog mascot was so this illustration could be made:

me = stunned when this one started showing up in google searches:

The highlight of the New York Series(and my favorite so far):

The Philly Fat Bastard:

 "My Little Flyers"

This is what happens when you let Charlie design the logos:

Iceburgh was going to be the ref for this one:

Statue Saga - from sketch...

to finished pencil:

Stanley Cup Finals:

Perhaps the calamari was too menacing?

After Game 2, it was time to call in reinforcements:

This was done while watching the cup being raised in the Mellon:

And on the last page of the sketchbook:

In all, a full 100-page sketchbook was filled between January and June.

Hopefully, we will have a chance to finish a few that got left behind.

*****************************************

Boosh.

LaPoint Of Impact. WPXI WINS.

5-4
[OT]


Tough times.
Hossa is gone. Fine.

But...
Gary Roberts is gone.

For the first time all offseason, things crashed down.
It hit home even though it was expected.
It must be how a coke addict feels when they realize they blew a guy for baking soda.

But from the strangest of places, we gather inspiration.
Fully prepare to blast everything WPXI.

Monday night, we watched a weatherman become more powerful than the nightly news.
Mike LaPoint reminded us, heroes will rise from the ashes and will give you a reason to believe.

And then it registered we have serious mental issues.

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: PREGAME ::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

T-Minus 8 Minutes:

The floor sweepers grab the brooms and make one last run of the studio.

Back in the control room, there was a sense of desperation in the air.

T-Minus 7 Minutes:
Speaking of something in the air, there was suck surrounding Billy Ray Cyrus in the pregame show.
Darieth Chisolm breaks through with a big-time teaser.
Already, we're talking about death and flooding.


::::::::::::::::::::: ANTHEM ::::::::::::::::::::::::


[ Alex K ]


[ slush ]


[ sh0ez]


[ coffey talk ]


[ Will S ]


[ Slush ]


[Shawn P]

::::::::::::::::::::: FIRST SEGMENT ::::::::::::::::::::::::

The surprise of a lifetime came when Gordon Loesch dominates the front desk.
David Johnson sprained his larynx in the pre-news workout.

A huge blow to WPXI's chances.

A bigger blow to WPXI's chances?
A terrible lead story.

Reporter Marc Willis comes in, apparently wearing shoulderpads underneath his suit in spirit of the upcoming story about Joey Porter's friend who died.
Oh, wow. Is this the only person who died on Monday? Get real.
WPXI doesn't care if you die...unless you're friends with an ex-Steeler.

[ Annie L ]

Just a huge a mistake by WPXI. The murder didn't even happen in Pittsburgh.
Joey Porter was interviewed.

He missed a tackle during the interview.
Joke.

Darieth Chisolm picks up the sluggish broadcast, busting in with a story about a water-main break.
It was a developing story, and Chisolm didn't stutter.

[Sam L]

BUT...Oh, no. They try to segue into a story about local downpours, but the water-main graphic stays up.

Things could have fallen apart.

But then we go to Mike Lapoint, suit on, all business. Good start.
A nice transition into the next story about power lines being down.

The trifecta was hit when Loesch goes into a story about something.
It went by too fast.
But all three members of the broadcast team unleashed solid stories within a minute.

Then came the part of the news that makes you want to kill yourself.
Death was everywhere.
Chisolm talks about Duquesne people who got shot and are now suing.
The plaintiffs' attorney was pissed.

Back to Loesch...and more murder.
Someone got shot in the Hill District.

Jake Wheatley couldn't be reached for comment in his mansion that is not located in the Hill District.

Back to Chisolm. Surprise...murder.
Someone buried and stabbed some jobber. Not good times.
Not the most uplifting news broadcast ever.

Somehow we get on the subject of so many murders you'd think Angela Lansbury was writing the script.

Skank

Loesch channels Chris Hansen, talking about some guy trying to marry a 13-year-old.
Welcome to Pittsburgh.

It looked like we were gonna get away from murder, but nope, someone froze their mom's body to collect life insurance.

Some guy named Larry Anderson died in a motorcycle crash. Really sad story.
It's like 11 straight death stories.
Johnson wouldn't have let this happen.

Come on, Loesch, give us something.
A former police chief died.
No wonder everyone in Pittsburgh is miserable all the time.

Chisolm breaks the death streak, talking about some big shot who is being charged with theft and fraud.

Finally, we get to stories that actually matter to mass groups of the viewing public.
First, a gas-line break in Westmoreleand.
Then the Port Authority announcing some changes in their shit.
This was how the broadcast should have started.

Western PA cops are going to abuse their authority in the next month or so. Heads up.

We get teased going into the break with a plethora of stories.
Some lady getting beaten by a shower curtain is what you kept you watching.

:::::::::::::::::::::::: SECOND SEGMENT :::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

After an 14-second commercial break, we were back in action.
The next story included the following words:
Fayette County, cellphone, shower curtain, arrest.

What a city.

Ouch, another graphic mistake.
THE LATEST comes up full-throttle on the screen and 4 seconds too early.
Is this a college newscast?

This segment was all about flooding and sand bags.

Gas prices were next on the ledger.
Loesch, talking over a graphic of a gas price, says WPXI found gas to be $3.96 somewhere.
Too bad the sign said $3.95.

WPXI was mayor of Gas City in this segment, bringing us a story on airlines. Yawn.
WPXI brings us stuff about the presidential election.
Both candidates get some play.

OH NO.
Chisolm breaks down, saying the presidential poll's error margin was plus or "minor "3.

Elmo has seen enough.

The control room had cut off communication to her mic up to that point, trying not to disrupt her perfect game.

But then it happened.
It was here amidst 12 viewers of the nightly news that Mike LaPoint discovered who he was.

Even though he was telling us about weather that we can look up on the internet and don't have to wait till 11:20 every night to get anymore, you wanted to hear it.

Every point towards the blue screen was right on the money. Angels were carrying him.
He came in as the underdog, but proved himself a worthy weatherman.

He was simply on fire. He was on camera for at least minute and a half straight.
No shaking, no stuttering.

[ Ryan O ]

Talks about KDKA extending him an offer sheet this summer are beginning to make sense.

He made his dramatic departure with the 5-day forecast. Perfect. He nailed it.
What life is all about.

A kitten fell down a pipe. The entire world shuts down.

[ Slush ]

Heartwarming story that should have led off the broadcast.
It's somehow less important than Joey Porter's friend dying.

Sports was on the way for the third segment.
Deep breath.

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: THIRD SEGMENT ::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Yankees are coming to town. Restaurants are ready.

And here we were. John Fedko City.
Of course, nefarious news about high-school football is front and center.

Fedko almost looks yellow. Way too tan for any man.
He is waving his hands all over the place.
Past his prime, no question.

Rich Walsh came on with The Tour of Pennsylvania story.
It wasn't a live segment, so errors just couldn't be found.
Unless you count Rich Walsh himself as an error.

Solid story, though. If you're a bike-rider, this is sick.
Some guy says they want to find the next Lance Armstrong.
So we guess that means they want to find the next cheater who gets out of their sport just in time.

John Fedko ends the sports segment talking like he's the Micro Machines Guy.
What a joke.

Broadcast.

MISCELLANEOUS

• Wasn't that impressed by Loesch. But he did what he had to do.
  
• Chisolm ain't no joke.
  
• Sam Nover is in the best shape of his life. Just sayin'.
  
• VOMIT
  
• LaPoint is an MVP candidate.
  

Number one star, as voted upon by the public:


Hard to argue.
She beat out LaPoint by 10 votes.

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Fedko jobbed:

After the news, people destroyed the Fedko phone zone.
[Sh0ez] recorded a job:



Apparently Fedko took credit for the Roberts mania at one point.

We know he is trying to goad us, so whatev.
Proof is in the videos.
Over the course of a year, we have all destroyed his life.



Go Pens

Executive Decision:
We have decided to wait till next Monday to continue the tour of news broadcasts.

BREAKING NEWS

Roberts will play in the 2008-09 season, according to his agent.

...But not for the Penguins.

What Would Gary Roberts Do?

Move on, apparently.

Rick Curran, who represents Roberts -- a veritable folk hero in his season-plus with the Penguins -- said yesterday that Roberts will continue playing, but not in Pittsburgh.

"He very much enjoyed his time there," Curran said. "But he understands that Ray [Shero, the Penguins' general manager] has a number of items on his agenda that would take priority."

Curran added that Roberts, 42, "most definitely" intends to continue his career and will decide where after reaching unrestricted free agency next Tuesday.

The Penguins acquired Roberts from Florida Feb. 27, 2007, for defenseman Noah Welch, and he endeared himself to fans almost immediately with his intensity and physical style of play.

He had seven goals and six assists in 19 games with the Penguins at the end of 2006-07, and three goals and 12 assists in 38 appearances in 2007-08. He missed more than half the season while recovering from a broken leg and high ankle sprain.

"He wants to have a good solid season [in 2008-09], injury-free," Curran said.

Roberts was paid $2.5 million the past season and, with the Penguins' salary-cap concerns, giving that kind of money to a fourth-liner who fills a fairly limited role simply isn't viable.

"He had a real good experience there, and he's glad that he came," Curran said. "But he's going to look for opportunities somewhere else."

-- Dave Molinari Post-Gazette

[ Link ]
Flyer Hater found the link. He's on fire.


UPDATE:



SICK

First Star

GameDay ( WPXI )

11:00

We need anthem pics from your couches, if you feel so inclined.
Maybe a cotton candy picture.
Maybe a stunned pic?

We miss recaps, so we are trying to stay fresh.


:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::


[ Here ]

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::



SIT DOWN FOR THIS

BGL hosts [ OTR ].

His guest: [ Gary Roberts ]

Click it.

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Mistake City

Why is the RBK decal reversed? derrrrr

[ Stephanie ] sent in how goalie gloves look.

Adam typed that in the picture's caption on Monday.
You may find him in one of George Carlin's standup routines.
Because he is a joke.


:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::


Big-time newscast tonight.
With severe weather in the Pittsburgh area, it could be a high-scoring shootout.

PROBABLE STARTERS:
According to the message boards at Lets Go WPXI,
Darieth Chisolm and David Johnson are the starters for tonight.


David Johnson pays the bills.

Expect a big role from Mike LaPoint the weatherman tonight.


Can't afford any mistakes.

Go WPXI

Seven Posts You Can Never Make On The Internet

First things first:



We are thinking about doing the last ever WWGRD wristband sale.
If you are interested, let us know in the comments.

We'll most likely end up doing a pre-order sale,
but we aren't sure if there are still people that want some.

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

We aren't going to lie.
We kind of thought this offseason would be quiet for at least a week.
It hasn't been the case. And just wait till mid-July to early September.

Another busy weekend in Penguin Land.


The NHL draft kicked off Friday night,

but the Penguins didn't hit the podium until Saturday afternoon.

:: With their first pick in the draft,
in the 4th round, 120th overall, the Penguins drafted Nathan Moon.

He's a 5'11', 180 pound Center.
He spent the last two years playing in the OHL for the Kingston Frontenacs.
He was born January 4th, 1990.

Yeah. 1990. He has no clue what dial-up internet is.

:: [ Faceoff Factor ] thinks the pick is a steal.
They think he'd perform better had he not been in such an awful situation.
Completely agree.

Sometimes your performance can drastically suffer in the wrong environment.
Like, say you're in a stuffy old room taking your SATs.
You have to pee like balls, there are short skirts all around you, and someone has B.O.
It's a test of wills.

:: At the 150th spot, the Penguins selected Russian goaltender Alexander Pechurski.
He's 18 and a first-year backup goaltender for Malkin's old Metallurgh Magnitogorsk.
He also played for Russia in this year's U18 World Junior Championships.


Wow. He may somewhere down the road regret having this picture taken.
(And why is RBK backward on his glove, but the logos on his shirt and hat are legit?)

:: In the 6th round they picked up another young goalie in Patrick Killeen.
He split time in the crease with the OHL's Brampton Battalion,
posting a 2.76 GAA and .908 save % in 34 games.

:: With the second to the last pick, number 210, the Penguins drafted Nick D'Agostino.
The 17-year-old plays on the blue line for the OPJHL's St. Michael's Buzzers,
and is committed to attending Cornell in 2009.

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

By now you have heard the news about Fiesta Mexicana testing the free agent waters.

:: [ Sportsnet.ca ] has a little piece with Shero.

If you have read between the lines, Hossa's agent seems to be running the show.
Like Seth said at [ Empty Netters ], it might be time to take that Hossa shirt to Goodwill.

The only good thing about this, is that we can finally steal this haunting photoshop from the boys at [ DoubtAboutIt ]:


::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Speaking of haunting...

poster [ Ron Duguay's Hair ] on [LGP] found this old Ice Time.
What a player.

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

In case anyone forgot, Wayne Gretzky is a scumbag.

If you need to be reminded, checkout what he told [ Yahoo ]
when asked about the new Russian superleague offering Malkin a big contract.

"Forget concerns. I wish they were around when I was playing,” said Gretzky. “My goodness, it’s a big decision for (Malkin),” Gretzky said. “Financially, it’s incredible. You get a chance to go back to your home country. On the other side of it, you get to play with one of the best players in the National Hockey League in Crosby. … In some ways it’s overwhelming, to be honest with you."

Thanks for that, Wayne.
Douche.

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::



:: Odds and ends on the NHL draft. [ Dr. Mirtle ]

:: Bill still can't watch Game 5. [ Abel to Yzerman ]

:: The EuroGirls pool continues. [ Post Game Heroes ]

The Germans are all business.

Speaking of all business:

[ The Burgh Blog ] found that. Wow.

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

[ Stephen L. ] went to the Pirates/Toronto Blue Jays series over the weekend.
Different sport...different season...who cares?


As a side note, you could see Canadian flags get thrust into the air as the wave made its rounds in PNC Park.
Good Times.


:: In other news, an outtake scene in the new movie "The Happening" was leaked onto the internet.
In said scene, a character tried killing themselves by becoming a Leafs fan.

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::


:: The experiment with the different blog layout was exactly that: an experiment.
We're not sticking with it, and we will never implement it.


:: See the black squares around the logos? We're getting rid of those.

Odds And Ends in Gmail

:: [ John B. ] sent this link along.
Bloggers are being arrested for viewpoints they are expressing on blogs. [ InfoNIAC ]
That's why we post Fiesta Mexicana every chance we get.

:: [ Matt C. ] put together a dictionary of terms prevalent to C-Blog. [ DictionaryBlog ]

[ Mahoney ]

[ Jason S. ]

[ Jason M. ] -- In light of Brooks Orpik's eventual raise in salary.

A customizable Nike shoe that [ Mike ] made.

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::


Game #11
[ Trick or Treat. PENS WIN ]

4 - 2

Bing actually scoring on a breakaway.


The first non-us "stunned" pic, basically.
Submitted by Zak.

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

CALL TO ARMS

Tonight, we will be recapping the 11:00 WPXI News.
For out-of-market readers, this poses a problem.

We need someone to record the broadcast and get it up onto YouTube in short order.
We lack the technical prowess to accomplish this.

We would hate to put all our eggs into one basket, so we will credit everyone who does it,
but of course, only one set of the uploads will be used.

Thank you in advance to anyone who can do this.
And please shoot us an e-mail (thepensblog@gmail.com) if you have the time to do it.

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

And finally...


George Carlin passed away late Sunday night.
We'd be remiss if we didn't dedicate this post to him.

His legendary work laid the foundation for vulgarity in mainstream anything.
Not to mention that if you didn't watch Shining Time Station, you don't have a soul.

Thomas The Tank = Stunned

R.I.P. man. One of the best of all time.




:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::


Go Pens

Fiesta Liarcana?

One last time.......



Hossa was all talk about taking less cash money.
Not a man of his word.

But maybe he is. He still might stay.
You've left your girlfriend or boyfriend's house all in a huff more than once,
vowing never to speak to them again.

Next thing you know, you're watching a movie with them and having sex halfway through the movie.
Ray Shero is not going to have sex with Marian Hossa, let's just clear that up.

But Hossa is on the open market.
It needs to be repeated, Debbie Briere got 10 mil a year last year.
That instantly makes Hossa worth about 12-14 mill, if we're using that scale.

Boston and Vancouver both need that impact player.

He gave us a great ride.
He is a world-class player. And you can't blame him.

What a lot of people aren't seeing, is that not signing Hossa would allow you to pick up two big time players for the cost of one.

The price of Hossa has been estimated at 8 million dollars.
If he doesn't resign, you could easily get two top six forward for any combination of 8 million dollars.

Markus Naslund for 3.5 or 4 million a year?
Sold.

And oh yea, there is another free agent you might have heard of........




Just saying........


Go Pens

This Is A Test Of The Emergency Blogcast System

The summer is the time for us to experiment with crap.
We're working on a new flashblog that may change the internet.
We're working on a couple of other small things, too.

But the most pressing matter is...


**************************************************

...load time for the main page of the blog.
(although a new pressing matter will be finding your place again in the post, like you just did.)

WE HAD PUSHED THE NUMBER OF POSTS ON THE MAIN PAGE DOWN TO 3.

YouTubes AND WHATNOT DRASTICALLY AFFECT THE LOAD TIMES FOR THE SITE,
EVEN WHEN THINGS ARE CACHED IN YOUR BROWSER.

Adding that "click here to read more" link will let the main page load 30 times faster.

We've always been with the school of thought that doing this would bury some great photoshops
and make people think that we have 5-sentence posts.

But times are changing.
Nearly every blog goes with this format.

Quick Shortcut Around It:
When you see a new post, just click the title of it and pretend you didn't.
It's still an extra mouse-click, but you won't have to find your place again once you start reading.

HOW IT WILL AFFECT YOUR SHIT:

-- It adds one more click to your day.
-- Will make finding a certain PS or pic harder to do.

-- For C-Blog, there may be an upside.
When you click the "read more" thing, the comments will appear beneath the post after the click.

poll by twiigs.com

BREAKING NEWS: Hossa to see Unrestricted Free Agency

Ray Shero says Marian Hossa will test free agency [ Trib ] [ TSN ]

"I've talked to him and his agent (Ritch Winter) lots, and we look to be his first choice," Shero said. "But he's gonna go to July 1 just to make sure, and we'll see what that brings both of us. We've made a very fair contract offer. From Marian's standpoint, he wants to be sure. He knows the risks involved (in testing free agency), and so do we."

Shero is comfortable with the offer he extended.

Hossa will still be the Penguins top priority come July 1,
and Penguins remain on top of Hossa's list.

Don't click the thing. There's nothing else to read.

Gameday: NHL Draft 4th Round 120th selection

Rounds 2-7 of the NHL Entry Draft

Scotiajoke Place

:: Coverage begins at 9:30am today.
Versus refuses to confirm they are covering it.
TSN will be.
NHL network should have it as well.
[nhl.com]



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We miss gamedays, so why not.
Pens will pick sometime in the afternoon.
They were silent in the first round, which is fine by us.

Only other Pens news is that Malkin is not going anywhere, anytime soon. [PG]
Malkin's agent, said a new deal is coming.

"Malkin's base salary for 2008-09 will be $984,200, the maximum allowed by the league's collective bargaining agreement. Barry said he and general manager Ray Shero have the "framework" of a new deal in place, and that "I don't see any major hurdles" that would prevent an agreement."

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The first night of the draft was insane.

Tons of deals going down. [Faceoff Factor]


:: Bumberger is a BlueJacket [Puck-rakers]

:: Tanguay a Hab. [Four Habs Fan]

:: Cammaileri a flame.[ Battle of California]

And maybe the biggest trade of the day:

Joke is a Coyote. [ True Coyote Love]
[Puckdaddy] has more on this one.

It all overshadowed Tampa Bay selecting Steve Stamkos first overall.

Solid player.

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Short post city.

Go Pens

Poop

Today is pretty much the most important Friday since TGIF 15 years ago when D.J and Stephanie Tanner both got their periods on the same day on Full House.

Places to be today:

:: The office of [ Dr. Mirtle M.D. ] 1:00pm chat.

:: [ Puck Daddy ] will be on shit all day.

:: [ Melt Your Faceoff ] is doing a liveblog

Do it.



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When we posted the Malkin stuff yesterday afternoon,
we were contacted by someone close to Ray Shero and given the 4-1-1 on stuff.

Deep Throat of course gave us the information on a condition of anonymity.

:: Our source says he doesn't know where [ Buzz on the Joke ] gets his info.

:: The Markus Naslund rumors have every right in the world to be the buzz in Penguin Land.
Our source said he will actually be in Ottawa this weekend.
This is part of the reason why Malkin is willing to take his Crosby Discount.
Stay posted.

:: Daryl Sydor and a 2010 draft pick for a pick in these first three rounds.
Unlikely, says our source, but it's been mentioned.


According to sources close to the situation the Pittsburgh Penguins may be preparing to extent an offer-sheet to Phoenix Coyotes restricted free agent Marcel Hossa.

Hossa was traded from the Rangers to the Coyotes at the trade deadline, and on July 1st his 1-year $780,000 contract expires.

The move is considered by many to be just another incentive to lure potential unrestricted free agent, and Marcel's brother, Marian Hossa into resigning with the Penguins on a long-term deal.


:: The Canadiens being interested in Georges Laraque is a lie.
The Pens and BGL's agent are pretty much on the same page, just waiting for July 1st.
BGL will be taking a paycut to stay. He likes his involvement with the community here.

:: Pascal Dupuis and a 2010 draft pick may be moving so that the Penguins
can get a pick in the top 3 rounds of the draft. Stay posted.

Ryan Whitney was sold for cattle

:: Our source said the Whitney for Cheechoo rumor is the most unfounded thing he's ever heard.
We may expect to see Whitney go to Los Angeles for draft picks and a prospect or two.
Mike Cammalleri's name is not being mentioned.

:: Brooks Orpik is close to signing a 5-year, $17mill contract with the Pens.
HOWEVER, there are talks that the Pens will sign him to less than he would be offered on the free-agent market and then trade him to a team that will be getting a bargain, consequently.

:: Malkin will be signed to a contract soon after July 1st.
Ray Shero has not talked to anyone about trading him.

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:: Ray Shero laughs at inquiries about Penguins stars [ TSN ]

"You guys make up more stuff than I can ever imagine," Ottawa general manager Bryan Murray told reporters on Thursday. "I heard a rumour last night that Pittsburgh was moving one of their star players. I talked to their manager today to see if I could be included in the discussions and they kind of laughed at me."

:: If that was an AP article, be hitting the MAC machine right now. [ Boing Boing ]

:: Malkin's agent, J.P. Barry isn't thrilled with Malkin going public about taking a hometown discount. [ FF ]
Get Barry, He's supposed to be very good.

:: Mellon in negotiations to extend naming rights on the Mellon Arena [ PG ]

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Yesterday, the NHL filed court documents that could result

in the New York Rangers ownership being fined, suspended, or even terminated for it's challenging of league rules, and thus breaching it's contract. [ TSN ]

Last year the Rangers ownership, MSG LP, held out handing

control of it's website over to the league for their "cookie-cutter" website program.

When the league attempted to impose a $100,000 a day fine on the franchise,

MSG sued the NHL, citing anti-trust laws.

They claimed by taking over the website and it's promotion

the league was acting as "an illegal cartel".

The courts ruled in favor of the NHL.

With a 3/4th vote by league owners, MSG could be forced to sell the Rangers franchise,

which [ Forbes ] values at $306 million, second only to the Toronto Maple Leafs.

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:: The Atlanta Thrashers have promoted AHL head coach John Anderson
to fill their coaching vacancy.

Anderson lead the Chicago Wolves to the 2008 Calder Cup over the WBS Penguins.

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"Love Guru" is getting panned. [Fanhouse]

Wonder why?


What a mistake.

People are saying some funny stuff about it though:

"There's wit and sweetness mixed with the bodily function gags, enough to make us hope that Myers stops cashing those Shrek checks and re-joins the comic rat race."
[Idaho Stateman]

When people in Idaho tell you that you suck,
then it might be time to hang it up.

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Game #10

4 - 3

[Point Earned. PENS LOSE. ]
But they didn't need the rest of the game.
Malkin, of course, finds a wide-open Whitney near the top of the circle.
He cradles it, gets an erection, and wrists it.
The next thing we saw was the red light flash on the other side of the arena -- the best sight in the world.
Tied. 3-3.



The rest of the third period was about securing the point that the Pens had definitely earned.
They do it. OT.


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C-BLOG CITY


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Go Pens




* The above rumors in this post were all made up.

Telegram, Telephone, Tell-a-PensFan

Well, the Malkin trade talk disappeared a few days ago when Malkin himself
came out and said he was gonna take a Crosby discount to stay with the Pens.

But as the draft has gotten closer, the talks sprouted back up.

The most popular link on the internet today is [ Puck Daddy's ] story
on a potential Malkin trade to the Los Angeles Kings.
The initial report came from Canada.



It all revolves around the obvious urgency that everyone knows Ray Shero has
to get at least one or two picks in the first three rounds of the draft.

And Los Angeles has been the flavor of the week.
But people don't stop and think about what's going on.

If the Kings are gonna ship Cammalleri, a prospect defenseman, and a pick,
they will get an established goaltender in return.

You don't stop your rebuilding process before you even make the playoffs.

Did anyone see what the Pens did this season?
They sucked for a long time, got good, made the playoffs, and then traded away some promising youth for a top-flight player that would take their team to another level.

That's how it's done.
But never mind the logic, because the prevailing thought is that a trade with Los Angeles is sexy.

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ROSSIGATE

Every facet of the Pittsburgh media is saying Hossa's agent isn't telling the truth.
[ Buzz on the Turd ] even said Rossi personally told him that Hossa's agent is a liar.

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And now back to Malkin.
Everyone knows the trade talk is garbage.

People get excited about it 'cause it would give them something to complain about if it happens.

Malkin's not going anywhere.
If he is traded this offseason, we will photoshop ourselves.



UPDATE

From [TSN]:

"You guys make up more stuff than I can ever imagine," Ottawa general manager Bryan Murray told reporters on Thursday. "I heard a rumour last night that Pittsburgh was moving one of their star players. I talked to their manager today to see if I could be included in the discussions and they kind of laughed at me."


Game

Rob Rossi = Stunned

MR. ROSSI...TSK-TSK.

Seth over at [ Empty Netters ] got wind of a story that will be printed today:

Several media outlets have reported that the Penguins extended a contract offer of between $50-52 million over seven years to Marian Hossa but Hossa's agent Ritch Winter said those reports were completely off base.

"The newspaper and television reports generated so far are completely inaccurate," Winter said. "None of the information has come from the principals involved in the discussions. Ray Shero and I have not spoken with anyone about a contract, so I have no idea where the information is coming from. There is not even one basic piece of information from those reports that are true."

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
We are calling for Rob Rossi's resignation from sports journalism.



He had this to say in his [Q&A].

"A personal note: During my time covering the Penguins' arena saga, I was burned twice by so-called sources. I am still reminded and often haunted by it. That experience has changed the way I do business. I now print what I know from conversations with players, team officials and league personnel, and I attribute that information as often as possible. Even then I get bad information, but at least I can sleep at night."

All units, All units, respond. Rossi is getting burned by his sources again.




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[ Mikey from KISS ]

We are also calling for this person to resign from life:
[ The Insider on Pittsburgh Sports ].

But we all know him as the Buzz On The Turd from last season.

He's "not reading too much into" this quote from Hossa's agent.
Apparently, it's a ploy by Hossa's agent.

Hmmmmm....
Lets take a little trip:

Buzz on the Turd broke the news last offseason
that "Paul Kariya was gonna wake up a Penguin." [ Pensblog Post ]




"Unless Paul wakes up and changes his mind he will be a Penguins tomorrow."


Paul Kariya= never went to bed

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The NHL Board of Governors has approved 3 minor rule changes [ TSN ]

76.2 - First face-off of every power-play will take place in the offensive zone
81.1 - Unnecessary contact between two guys chasing down an icing can be penalized.
85.5 - If a puck goes out of play off the post or crossbar the face-off remains in the offensive zone.

:: The Board of Governors also approved of the sales of the Oilers and Lightning. [ ESPN ]

:: Flyers trade Vinny Prospal's rights back to Tampa Bay for picks. [ TBO ]

Wow.




:: Markus Naslund is a UFA on July 1.
He has sold his house in Vancouver.
He values winning over a huge salary.

And he thinks playing with Crosby would be fun.
[ The Sweater Ted ]

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:: Bill from [ Abel to Obstructerman ] is back from vacation.
He was away for a few days.

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We were gonna do a top 10 list of draft busts.
But the only top 10 list we are thinking of is the top ten things we'd rather do than go see
"The Love Guru."

Number five was get teabagged Shaq after Game 7 of the NBA Finals.

Anyways...

Instead of throwing Mike Myers under the bus again for no reason at all,
we decided to just go through the Pens drafts for the past 20-some years.
Good times.

First off, the biggest mistake was back in the 1984 draft.

The Pens grabbed 66 first overall, but passed on Gary Roberts and Patrick Roy

so they could take Doug Bodger and Roger Belanger with their other two first-round picks.

1985

The Pens drafted Craig Simpson second overall. Solid.

He eventually went to Edmonton for Paul Coffey.

Joe Nieuwendyk was still on the board.

1986
The Pens draft Zarley Zalapski 4th overall.

He was talented enough to help bring Ron Francis to Pittsburgh in a trade.

Too bad Brian Leetch was still on the board that year.

1987

Pens took Chris Joseph 5th overall.

Joe Sakic was still on the board.

1988

Pens took Darrin Shannon 4th overall.

Jeremy Roenick, Rod Brind'Amour, and Teemu Selanne went 8-9-10.

1989

This draft class was Mud City.

The Pens took Jamie Heward 16th overall.

Pavel Bure went 113th overall.
His hair went 187th.

ENTER CRAIG PATRICK

1990

Jagr. Solid.

1991

Naslund. Solid.

1992

Straka. Solid.

START LINING UP ON THE HOT METAL BRIDGE...

1993

Stefan Bergkvist 26th overall. Mud.

1994

Chris Wells 24th overall.

Milan Hejduk went 87th.

1995

Aleksey Morozov 24th overall.

1996

Goalie Craig Hillier 23rd overall. Ouch.

1997
Robert Dome 17th overall.

We're officially off of the Robert Dome What A Horrible Pick train.

The only players worth talking about after that pick

were Petr Sykora and Maxim Afinogenov.

1998
Milan Kraft 23rd overall.

Mike Ribiero, Scott Gomez, Brad Richards were on the board.
Did anyone even buy a Milan Kraft jersey?

1999
Konstantin Koltsov 18th overall.

Again, we're off of this train, too.

He just sucked. Nothing the Pens could do about it.

Unless they knew to grab Henrik Zetterberg, who went 210th overall.

2000 And Beyond

Orpik, Armstrong, Whitney, Jesuses.

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Game #9

30-3

[Your Mom.....PENS LOSE]

We told you we weren't recapping this game. And we're not. We just have to make this post for game archives sakes. We did not see any of the game, but looking at the highlights, it seemed like a joke. If Mark Recchi doesn't get taken off the Powerplay and or get his ice time moved down. People need to start something. If a hostage situation ever was a good idea, now may be the time. This can't happen anymore.


Top 5 photoshops of the season.

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C-BLOG CITY



What happened, Rob?

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Go Pens

Tom Barrasso Knows What You Did Last Summer

Igor Larionov and Glenn Anderson will be this year's inductees into [ the Hockey Hall of Fame ]
Barasso was up for induction for the first time, but no dice.

Why didn't he get in?
Two reasons, in our opinion.


1) This game:


What an awful performance.

Ken Wregget was in the best shape of his life.
Just saying.

And the fact he was an asshole:



"...if you don't deal with the Media, they will bury you."


Reader [ Jenni ] was up at the Hall recently:




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:: [ The Columbus Dispatch ] continue to push the "Malone to Blue Jackets" deal,
but Malone says he won't talk to anyone until July 1st. [ Trib ]

:: And according to Nick Kypreos on 590 The Fan in Toronto,
Malone doesn't even want to play in Columbus. [ KK ]

According to everyone, Nick Kypreos sucks.

:: But why care what out-of-town media is saying, when Tim Benz dominates your eardrums
on Channel 4 ACTION NEWS at 12:50 in the morning.

Tim Benz talked to Malone and quoted him:

• "It's UFA, for sure."
• "Columbus would be smart to wait."
• "The Pens never made me a real offer. It was good while it lasted."
• "Where's the beef?"

[ David S. ]

:: Orpik is right behind Hossa in importance? [ The Hockey News ]

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:: Rob Rossi is up to his old tricks. [ Trib ]
He says Hossa is on vacation and will look over the deal when he gets back.

But this:

"General manager Ray Shero and Hossa's agent, Ritchie Winter, have discussed parameters of the Penguins' best offer - likely a seven-year deal worth near $50 million. The length of that deal remains a talking point between the parties, but the Penguins are not likely to offer more than a minimal increase on Hossa's current $7 million salary."

Only question for Rossi: Is this a editorial, or is this a hard news article?
Is there anyone better than Rossi at adding his own take to an article that is supposed to be a news article, not an opinion piece?
That's journalism 101, joke.

And likely according to who?
Because you also said this:

"Shero is not commenting on offseason dealings."
--Rob Rossi, June 18, 2008

Maybe that is the deal.
We'll issue a public apology to Rossi if he is right.

But just so we are clear, even though this is getting old,
journalists here in Pittsburgh are actually making stuff up now.
Good times.



:: Cue Eklund. [Hockey Buzz]

"Why would Hossa be waiting to accept or reject? Whenever a timeframe is in a rumour it gets murky. It implies something else is happening..something bigger... And how about all the recent Malkin talk? We have heard nothing but Malkin trade talk for three straight days from some really high up Pens writers."


Shit

:: [ TSN ] has been publishing off-season outlook plans for each team.
The Penguins' was released today.

They give players ratings that were evidently pulled out of someone's buttcrack.
Yeah, Kris Beech...better than Staal.



:: Friday, June 27th. Pens used-equipment sale. [ Link ]
Thanks to Mikey from KISS for the heads-up.

:: The chronicles of a Pens fan during the SCF. [ NUT CHECK VIDEOS ]
:: Some kid in a Pens jersey beat someone up on YouTube. [ Trib ]
:: And finally, how you know you're obsessed with hockey. [ Bleacher Report ]

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The Celtics won the NBA Title.
Stuart Scott and Michael Wilbon make out for an hour after the game.


But the big story is a disco video they play at Celtic home games.
There's a dude on the video with a "GINO" shirt on, and people can't get enough of it.



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Speaking of the NBA, that one jobber official came out during the Finals to cry more foul.
It got us thinking.
What sport is most vulnerable to being held hostage by officiating?

BASEBALL

As with all sports, the players have the best opportunity to throw a game.
Shoeless Joe Jackson and Company proved that.

But, let's face it.
A home-plate umpire has more control over a game than any official in sports.
He's literally involved in 99% of plays that take place.


Enter Eric Gregg.
[ ESPN.com's Worst Calls ]
[ BaseballFever Message Board ]

In Game 5 of the 1997 NLCS between the Marlins and Braves,
Gregg may very well have been on acid.

His strike zone for Marlins' pitcher Livan Hernandez was insane.
Gregg was punching out dudes that were still in the minors.
Hernandez finished the game with 15 K's.

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GOLF
Whoops, not a sport

***********************************************************

BASKETBALL

It's definitely been proven that NBA officials can dictate a game.
People are so apathetic about the NBA that they probably didn't bother looking up the atrocities on YouTube.

But here it is.




************************************************************

FOOTBALL

With the amount of money thrown around in Vegas from September to January,
you'd think it would be impossible that there wasn't a crooked official out there.

On that same token, all the kashe
is why a crooked official would be spotted a mile away.

Picture: Bill Cowher losing a big game.


They could call holding on every play from scrimmage, anyway.


*************************************************************

HOCKEY

As Larry Brooks pointed out yet again in a recent column,
it seemed that officials were biased towards the Penguins in the playoffs. [ Brooks Joke ]

He makes no mention of Fleury shutting down his Rangers.
And if the fix was in, why didn't the Penguins win the Cup?
He starts an argument with some facts, realized his column was a mess, and just went to bed.
Horrible.

Anyway, we've all watched games that left us wondering what the refs were thinking.
They certainly are in position to dictate the ebb and flow of a game.
But the market for NHL gambling is poop.
A ref may hate a team, but he's not profiting from a job financially.

Unless your Mick McGeough:




Ouch.

This is what he does to people:


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Game #8

1 - 0
[ Pipe Dreams. PENS WIN. ]





The best part of the recap is that we messed up a stat that Mirtle dominated.
It was his first comment here on the blog that we know of.
We were honored.

C-BLOG CITY



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HOUSEKEEPING


[ Ricky H. ] took boobs matters into his own hands
after our suggestion on how to make the blog's logos better.


[ J. Lancia ] spotted the Tour Bus at the Chesney concert.


[ nofx ] found a "NEW JOBBERS" sign on a building.

:: We're still working on that C-Blog Around The World thing.
It was put on the backburner, but it's front and center now.

:: Charlie will be back in the browser address bar soon.


:: Possibly the greatest site on the internet was unveiled recently. [ Pens BR ]
It's the first Penguins blog we know of that's exclusively in Portuguese.

:: [ Pens Nation ] recently jumped onto the internet, as well.

:: In closing, we have our dates set for the news recaps.
Monday, June 23rd, WPXI.
Tuesday, June 24th, KDKA.
Wednesday, June 25th, WTAE.

For out-of-market readers, we will have news broadcasts available on YouTube.

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Go Pens

Fear and Loathing in Pittsburgh

No matter what the Penguins do this offseason,

it is already rightfully being labeled as the busiest offseason in franchise history.

They haven't even made moves yet, and it seems so many people
are just getting completely jammed-up for no reason at all.

Honestly, what the hell is even going on?
It's not as bad as everyone is making it out to be.

As far back as we can remember, fans and the Pittsburgh media alike have been clamoring
for the Pens to get Crosby an established scoring winger.




Well, look where we are at now. We were just in the SCF.
We have first dibs on a top-flight scoring winger in the prime of his career.
Sold. No question. Next.


And we can sign Evgeni Malkin to an extension? Sold.
And we get a huge break by MAF agreeing to go to salary arbitration? Sold.

Ryan Malone is a beast.
He will forever be endeared in our hearts for the grit he showed in the SCF.
But he's not worth $5 million a year.

The other free agent the Pens would like to re-sign is Brooks Orpik.
People will always remember the shift in Game 3 of the SCF.
Is he worth $3-$4mill a year?

Speaking of $4mil/year, can the Pens afford to wait
for Ryan Whitney to play into that salary?

While we're at it, let's put it out there that Gary Roberts isn't worth $2.5 million.
Yea right.

All we can say that if this was a video game, Ryan Whitney would be traded.
Actually, we already did trade him...for boobs.

Sure not everyone can stay. But are we sure?
Is it written in stone somewhere?

The easy thing to do is say it is impossible to keep a core together.
Bottom line, there is a lot more that can go right, than can go wrong.

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Watch the news. Read a newspaper.
And you will be blasted with fear.
It's what sells. They like that power trip.

Why tell the story about the dude who stopped on the Parkway to help someone with a flat tire
when you can run a story about how everyday medicine in pharmacies will kill you?

It's no different with sports media.
Pittsburgh writers and talk-show hosts are milking it for all it's(its) worth.
(For all it IS worth? Or for the worth that it possesses?)

A newspaper journalist's job is to sell newspapers.
Never, ever, ever, ever forget that.
So they pen columns about how the Pens will be a train wreck no matter what they do this offseason.

People have this vision of Crosby, Staal, Malkin, Fleury, Whitney, and now Hossa
winning 13 Stanley Cups in a row.

It's not gonna happen.

Other people have visions of the Penguins losing Malkin, losing Staal, and killing off MAF.

It's not gonna happen.

There are 29 other teams that have a chance now.
This is what happens when a salary cap is introduced.
And this is why the NHL will see some big time success.
You look at the NFL, for example, and you see that teams have a solid run for a year or two, then disappear for a year or two to reload.
Or other teams just lose AFC championships games at home all the time.

However, the exceptions to the rule (New England, Indianapolis, Philly for a while)
have exemplary players as their core and endlessly rotate the supporting cast.

As long as Crosby and Malkin themselves as the #1 and #2 centers,
Pittsburgh will be an attractive destination for anyone,
especially those veterans who want one last shot at the Cup.

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Rob Rossi started all this fear-mongering
when he said that the Pens are making Hossa their number-one priority.

Ray Shero knows things are going to get out,
but would he really tell as many people as Rob Rossi made it sound?

"....according to several players, agents and team officials who spoke to the Pittsburgh Tribune-Review on the condition of anonymity."

Okay, maybe that seems legit.
Whatev.

But here is what doesn't make sense.
Rossi said this later in his piece:

"The Penguins' focus on a deal for Hossa should not affect Malkin's possible extension."

Not a day later, a writer for the same newspaper, Joe Starkey, writes this:

"A month ago, Evgeni Malkin was the toast of the town.
Now, you wonder if he's just plain toast. "

So we have two self-proclaimed Penguin insiders...
Two guys that say they know the Penguins locker room...
Two guys that have to sell newspapers.

And we get two different stories from them?
Interesting.

Mark Madden, writing for the [ Beaver County Times ], which if he really wants to reach people, he'd be better served screaming at the top of the Gulf Building, writes this:

"It’s not time to run Malkin out of town just yet, but he does cause some annoyance. He either won’t learn English or too often refuses to use it. Manufactured illness excuses aside, Malkin disappeared during the Stanley Cup final and seemed hard-pressed to match the passion that playing for the sacred chalice created in the rest of the dressing room. He reportedly told management that Sergei Gonchar staying long-term is a condition of him staying long-term and while the Penguins would be nuts to trade Gonchar anyway, Malkin has zero right to make that demand."

Malkin has zero right to make that demand? Come on.
If Crosby makes that demand, no one says a word.

Why are people so willing to throw Malkin under the bus?

Be glad he doesn't want to learn English, as Madden suggests,
because the way the media is completely jobbing him now is an embarrassment.

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So, what happens after all this goes down?
Other media outlets and bloggers get wind.

From [ Mirtle ] to [ Puck Daddy ], opinions are offered.

Couple this with TSN's complete obsession with the Penguins,
and you have an avalanche of analysis that could suffocate you.

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Last time we checked, the Penguins still have Malkin, Crosby, Staal, and Fleury under contract.
If Hossa signs, he signs.
If he doesn't, then the Pens will get someone else.

The best thing you can do is ignore all this vomit...and focus on the facts.
Ray Shero took this job, knowing full well what he was getting into.

Step back and gain some reality.

This offseason is not going to turn out as bad as everyone has already manufactured it to be.
If it is, it is your fault.

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The host team, the Ottawa Senators, want to move up in the draft. [ Slam! ]
They may even put up a big mural of Alexandre Daigle as inspiration.

More draft stuff:

:: The guys at [ Kurtenblog ] had a draft of the funniest hockey player names.
Marcel Bonin was overlooked.

:: So what are the Capitals asking potential draftees these days? [Japers]

:: [GoingFiveHole] is having a excellent look back on some players getting drafted:

Our favorite thus far:



Was Sundin 12?

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They're picking 120th...in the 4th round.
Where have all these draft picks gone?

1st Round Pick:
It went to Atlanta in the Hossa trade.

2nd Round Pick:
It went to Toronto for Hal Gill.
Not all is lost, since the Pens grabbed up the Leafs 5th-round pick in 2009.

3rd Round Pick:

Round 3's pick went to Phoenix with Daniel Carcillo for Big Georges Laraque.

4th Round Pick:

It is 120th overall; second to last in the 4th round.


:: [Faceoff Factor] is your place to be with some candidates on who the Pens might take. And you thought we had no lives.

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Daniel Alfredsson, Brian Campbell, Tomas Kaberle, Andrei Markov, Tim Thomas, Kimmo Timonen, Tomas Vokoun, Pavel Datsyuk, Manny Legace, Evgeni Nabokov.

Who are these players?

They are 10 of the 42 players that suited up for this past season's All-Star Game.

Also, they were drafted with the 120th pick or later.

Oh, and Martin St. Louis wasn't even drafted.
But Martin St. Louis is big.

Shudder

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Crosby is coming out with some DVD.
Thanks to [Anthony D] for the heads up:



solid
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

[DP]

What 45 year old douche screams "Get in the hole," at the top of their lungs after every shot?

Tiger Woods is a dick

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

TVBLOG

:: "MVP: The Secret Life of Hockey Wives" premieres on SoapNet [ Epic Carnival ]

Charlie is deleting old "Designing On a Dime" episodes to clear up space on his Tivo set


:: If you're like us, you love watching peoples lives get destroyed.

We happened to catch the latest [Intervention] on AE last night.
No other show features more "You=Stunned," moments.
Normally we wouldn't mention it, but apparently the dude on it used to be some big time American cyclist.
He was going to try out for the Olympics, but he made fun of Lance Armstrong, and the next day he lost his try out chance because of it or something.
Then he got addicted to crack cocaine.

So basically it was all Lance Armstrongs fault.

This is what happen when hockey isn't on.


:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

:: With the hiring of Barry Melrose all but announced in Tampa Bay,
the Lightning are pursuing Rick Tocchet for an assistant position. [ Arizona Republic ]
Odds are Tampa Bay is going to look quite different next year.

:: Did the Bruins sign Blake Wheeler? [Bruinsblog]

:: [Melrose Rocks], not happy about how Yashin and his turtleneck might be joining the Islanders again.

:: Oilers draft talk. [Lowetide]
That link was the only way to set up this wicked Kevin Lowe Photoshop:


[Sean L.]

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::



:: Someone jobbed Fedko last night, not sure if they still replay the show at 3:00pm or not on PCNC.
But if they do, could someone tape it?

For the rest of the Summer.
We are putting a hit out on John Fedko.

Prank his show, upload it to YouTube, and at the end of the summer we'll hold a vote on the funniest one.

Winner gets 200 bucks.
NO JOKE.

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Game #7

2 - 1
[Whiteout, Our Balls. PENS WIN.]

When you notice that there's 5:00 left and wonder where the period went, stuff gets a little crazy.
The puck squeaks past Fleury and nudges off the post.
Eaton morphs into Fleury again.
The puck comes back around the net, and Eaton does some sort of ninja flop to make a save.

::::::

C-BLOG CITY


WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::


Go Pens

The Way We Were. Pensblog Season Recap

THE SEASON IN THE PENSBLOG

We've spent the last week going through posts; one month every day.
We truly can't believe how much has transpired over these past 9 months.

We had no expectations for this thing when we started it in 2006,
but somewhere down the line it has become our lives.

The 2007-08 season was a ride we will not soon forget.
We can't believe how much stuff went down.

And we feel compelled to document it.

In February, we unveiled the Pensblog Storeblog. [ Link to Post ]
For the month of March, it was the top-seller on the CafePress website.

We had 1,000,000 visitors to the site from September 2006 to April 2008.
From April 2008 to June 2008, we've had 650,000.
Sick. Thanks to everyone for checking the site out.

Over the course of the blog, this:


Became This:


And Has Evolved Into This:

Unless we can somehow incorporate naked women into the logos,
there's not much more room for improvement.



***************************************

MEMORABLE MOMENTS OF THE SEASON

*** THE WWGRD MOVEMENT ***






Back in October, with the help of everyone here, the WWGRD phenomenon took off.

[ The Origin ]
Our laziness resulted in titling a post "WWGRD" for no reason after an obsession over Gary Roberts spilled into training camp.


[ Jason Strushensky's Photoshop ]
The comments section in this post is where it took off.

[ The Voting Process ] [ The Press Conference ]

We ended up sending out about 700 wristbands in the first run.
Following Roberts' performance in Game One of the Senators series, we sold 1,000 more.

And just as WWGRD wristbands started to fade.

Sam Liberto sent us this:


and it became another beast of its own:




We hate to sound like a Lifetime movie, but we will most likely never experience something like WWGRD ever again.
If we do experience it again, we are forcing it.

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

*** STUNNED PICTURES ***

As the video shows, stunned pictures became a beast of their own.
The funny thing is, we never actually asked for them. It just started happening.

We started the trend at a game in late October against Montreal:

And then there was no stopping it.



*** ANTHEM PICS ***



Over the course of the season, we received 345 anthem pics.
Unreal.


Props go to [Thomes08] for starting the trend back in the first game of the season.
An away game, no less.

The last time an anthem pic didn't come in was March 1st in Ottawa.

:::::::::::::::::::

*** C-BLOG CITY ***

Early in the season, we were moderating comments.
It was not a good time. Conversations were delayed, and there was no rhythm.

Eventually, we were able to take off moderation, but the catch was that we had to make people register a Blogger account.

As with any other changes we make here, we over-analyze how it will affect the site.
Oddly enough, comment numbers grew after change.

95% of the inspiration for what we do around here comes out of C-Blog.
Player nicknames have started in there and turned into insanity.

They gave us the greatness that is ConkBlock and USS Hal Gill.
You can Commit To The Stoosh if you'd like.

:::::::::::::::::::
*** STEPHEN S ***

Fittingly this emailed arrived to us shortly after Christmas:




Stephen Slesinski has since taken over our world as far as graphics are concerned.
We have added him to the Staff and he has some unreal stuff in the works.

Starting soon, he will have a weekly column looking for some ideas, some photoshop tutorials, and some other shit called Artistblog.
And we also need some help in naming our Penguin in the graphic.

*** THE NHL'S FIRST HOMOSEXUAL BLOGGER ***
( If you don't count Bill from [Abel to Yzerman]...just kidding Bill we love you.)



Amidst accusations that we were homophobic, we acquired the services of Pensblog Charlie,
a homosexual who agreed to screen all homosexual comments and pictures on the site.

He made his debut on [November 5, 2007.]

*** MEDIA MENTIONS/APPEARANCES ***

We touch ourselves at night.
But it has nothing to do with being mentioned by people with microphones.
But whenever it happens, it's pretty cool.

The only mention we actually heard was when Steigerwald dropped the site during a game.
Everyone around here at the site spread high fives.


We started getting mentions on DEADSPIN later in the season.
During the playoff run, WDVE and KISS were sending love our way.
We even got to appear on NPR.

But our happiest moment was when Ruutu said Free Candy:


::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

*** ENEMIES GAINED ***

"You have enemies? Good. That means you've stood up for something, sometime in your life."
-Winston Churchill

That's a quote we live by.
Throughout the year, we have picked up some great enemies.


[ Acid Queen ] wanted her link taken down from our site
because she didn't want to be associated with the immaturity around here.

The rivalry with [ The700Level ] was all business back in December and January.
We have made amends. Good guys over there.


[ Don Brennan ]
This writer from the Ottawa Sun wanted someone to break Crosby's ankle.
Joke.

[ LGP ]
Sadly, we quotemine on LGP to find the most outrageous opinions made by Pens fans.
We are not ashamed.


[ Dump and Chase ]
This guy jobbed Snoopy Jode back in October. That was not a good idea.

[ John Dellapina ]
What a jobber.

In the playoffs, we tried to crash [ Sens Fan in Toronto's ] server.

[ Blueshirt Bulletin ] reaches a level of homerism unrivaled on the internet.

[ Chad Herman ] unleashed his janitorial wisdom on WWGRD.


[ The Orange Crush ] kidnapped Charlie.
Thankfully, Charlie surpassed 1,000 friends on Facebook just in time.

Finally, we all remember the late, great commenter RGB.
But once we started getting pictures of him, his friends, and their wives,
we started putting them in the background of photoshops.

They haven't been heard of since.

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

*** UBER-POSTS ***

[ The Day After Tomorrow. PENS WIN. ]
Our game recaps were beyond mud all season, but this recap righted the ship.

[ The NHL Mascots ]
There were some weird ones in there.

[ Cathedrals of Hockey. Our Second Homes ]
This was great putting together.
It takes roughly an hour to load.

[ 1990 And Beyond: The Penguin Goaltender ]
Another beast that was fun to put together.


[ Law & Order: Pensblog Unit -- MAF vs. Conklin ]


Mistrial.


***********************************************

We still don't feel like we captured everything that went on during the season.
But whatev.

This post officially puts the 2007-2008 season in its final resting place.

We can't wait to begin anew.
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::


We'd like to offically announce that we have come to terms with Justin of [Every Facet of The Game], who will give us a fresher voice, and another set of eyes.


:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
In closing:





Go Pens

Kevin Lowe, Ryan Malone...YESSSSSSSSSSS

:: Courtesy of [LGP] via [HockeyWorld].

"Oilers GM Kevin Lowe may have called Pittsburgh Penguins GM Ray Shero about unrestricted free-agent winger Ryan Malone, who scored 27 goals this past season."



Honestly, this is a dream come true for us.
To potentially watch Kevin Lowe overpay for Ryan Malone is what will help us get out of bed in until July 1st.

Couple this rumor, with the idea that [Columbus may be trying to get Malone], and it looks Malone is on his way out.

That will be a tough day if it does happen, but you don't pay a 25 goal scorer 5 million a season.



::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::


The Pens file for salary arbitation with MAF. [TSN]

"By filing for salary arbitration it gives us extra time to continue to negotiate a contract with Marc-Andre," Pens general manager Ray Shero said. "As a result of the filing, Penguins' fans are assured that Marc-Andre will be under contract to our club for next season. Marc-Andre has done a tremendous job for us. We remain committed to negotiating a contract with him in the near future."

[Jschiff]

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
Say it ain't so Joe.

We have always respected Joe Starkey as a solid writer.
But today, he may have jumped the shark. [Trib]

In his column, titled "Malkin On Thin Ice."
Starkey stuns the world:

"By keeping Staal, the Penguins would potentially have a Mark Messier-type to complement their Wayne Gretzky (Crosby)."

The rest of the article makes you wonder if Ron Cook and Bob Smizik have Starkey at gunpoint somewhere.

If anything, it the direct opposite of what Rob Rossi told us, only yesterday:
Malkin said Thursday at the NHL Awards Show in Toronto that he expects to sign a five- or six-year extension "soon" after July 1. The Penguins' focus on a deal for Hossa should not affect Malkin's possible extension.

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::



It is going to be a long summer.


:::::::::::::::::::::::::::
Go Pens and Happy Fathers day.

2007-2008 Pensblog

We have the Pensblog season in review coming on Monday.
We couldn't hold back this video any longer.

Go Pens.

[HOSSA]

Breaking story from the [Trib].

The Penguins have made signing right wing Marian Hossa to a long-term contract their No. 1 priority, according to several players, agents and team officials who spoke to the Pittsburgh Tribune-Review on the condition of anonymity.

The Penguins, a Cup finalist, plan to test that claim. Their offer is likely to be worth nearly $50 million over seven years - a marginal raise on his 2007-08 salary of $7 million.


If the first few weeks of this offseason haven't been crazy enough.
Welcome to circus.

Only one thing left to do now.




Do it.

The News Pierre McGuire Doesn't Want You To Hear

Pierre McGuire = Stunned

:: Malkin says [ extension coming ] in Trib inteview.
He's thinking 5 to 6 years. Willing to accept less than Crosby.
Shrugs off trade rumors.



:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::



:: Alex Ovechkin won the Hart Memorial Trophy as the NHL's MVP.
[Going Five Hole] has the all the voting results.

Ovechkin received 128 1st place votes, 4 2nd, 1 3rd, no 4th, no 5th.
128 + 4 + 1 = 133 votes.

134 members of the Professional Hockey Writers Association voted.
One proud member of the PHWA left him off their ballot altogether.
And he's a better man because of it.

Speaking of Ovechkin, he and RBK have teamed to launch [AO's very own clothing line].
It'll capture his unique sense of style.
Which apparently is flashy and overpriced. Fitting.
Charlie was seen scouring the internet for prices.

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::



:: The NHL Awards are consistently about as entertaining as the Denny's Senior Discount Menu.
Change is needed. That's where [Melt Your Faceoff] comes in.

:: Double K wraps the night up. [Kukla]

Charlie wrote in from his honeymoon when he saw this dress:

All that obstruction, and Zetterberg couldn't shut that down back at home.
Rookie.

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Pensblog [Storeblog]

Stephen S. began his assault on Cafepress.
Some of his newest items uploaded:







::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::



:: According to [The Onion], Chris Osgood has claimed to have gotten to 3rd base with the Stanley Cup.

:: [We Bleed Teal] offers their bloggie awards to top hockey blogs.

:: Injury ridden Maple Leaf Kyle Wellwood broke his foot playing indoor soccer. [Sportsnet]


:: Stream complete NHL games at [Hulu]
2008 Stanley Cup Finals

[Conference Finals Game 5]

[Round Two Game 5]

[1991 Stanley Cup Finals Game 6]


:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Game #6
[Oh Man. PENS WIN.]

4 - 3
SHOOTOUT
Next up.
Ray Whitney vs. Danny Sabourin. Game on the line.
Make a save, win the game.

17,000-plus people in the Mellon and countless watching at home, who were wincing every time Sabu faced a shot just hours before, are now chanting his name.

As Whitney approached, for the briefest of moments, you didn't hear anything.
We would all give anything for him to save it.

Then before you even knew what was going on, a roar thundered across the Mellon Arena.
Dany Sabourin raises his hands towards the Pens bench.

Game.

C-BLOG CITY


::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::



Go Pens

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Best In Show

After [last years disaster] in trying to cover the NHL awards show, the CBC and Versus will hook up again.
According to the Versus website, things start around 7:00pm.
Hopefully a truck catches on fire again this year, with Pierre McGuire stuck inside.

[Going Five Hole] had a bloggers vote.
Of course we forgot to vote.

But we are glad, because we refuse to be involved with anything the hack [Acid Queen] is involved in.

.
Picture: Acid queen douses herself in feces to celebrate the big vote.


::::::::::::::::::::

[One of the sickest Photoshops back from the season]

Evgeni Malkin is up for the Hart trophy.
But you probably forgot about that, because that is the cool thing to do now.

A.O. is clearly going to win, and he deserves to, but hopefully it starts to wake some people up regarding Evgeni Malkin.

Over at [LGP], a full fledged war has erupted over the rumors of a Malkin trade.

All we can say is that, we will shutdown the blog if Malkin is traded for Dustin Brown and Anze Kopitar.


The fact that this was all started due to a Pierre McJoke rumor is a shame.

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::



:: PA State champs shirt being sold on NHL.com? Yea. [Kiss FM]



:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

[Eric P] contuines his solid youtube work.
Top 10 penguins shootout goals of the season.



:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::




Most world champion bloggers would go into a hole after winning it all.
Not Bill from [Abel to Yzerman]


:: First he fights, and rightly so, some joke from the Detroit Free Press.
The columnist--think a gayer version of Ron Cook- wants the Wings to retire Hasek number.

:: And then he finds this:



WOW

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::



:: 1, 2, 3..vomit.
Jay Leno hosts the Red Wings.[Youtube]
[Thanks to Meg for the tip]

We were all set to just embed the youtube of Elroy and Obstrucstrim, but we saw this further down the page.
And this is truly how we felt.



This actually should have been the post tonight.

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
Coachblog



:: We are later than your period on this.

But is there an over/ under on Ron Wilson breakdowns next year in Toronto?
[Pension Plan Puppets] has a semi-transcript of the presser.

:: Toronto fans are numb as is. But they can agree. Things are going to change big time.
[Battle of Ontario]

We think this is the best thing to happen to Toronto since SARS ended.





:: Marc Crawford is fired after someone found out he started the Malkin rumor.
[ Battle of California]



:: Some guy is going to be the coach of the Sharks. [Mike Chen]

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

[ CHAD HERMAN SUCKS BLOG ]

The latest from the CMU's favorite janitor:

-June 9,2008-

"I've read this sentence at least a dozen times now, and it still catches on my brain the way proper English catches on Evgeni Malkin's tongue; you know that clarity and correctness are in there somewhere, but be damned if you can find them, much less find comfort in them"




:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::



5-4

[Felon In The Mellon]

What an emotional game.
This game took a month off of everyone's life.

It is one of those losses that makes you want to do an assortment of illegal activities.

Going on a killing spree -- would make sense right now.
Drinking yourself into a coma -- do it.
Pile-driving your cat -- would just make things feel a little bit better.

All in all, there just isn't anything fun about what went down in the Lower Hill tonight.
But this is the life we lead.


C-BLOG CITY



Joshua =Stunned

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::


Go Pens

Trade Winds

Well, Pierre McGuire got on XM Radio Tuesday morning and decided to throw this "Malkin to the Kings" thing into the limelight.


Remember, he was the one who said during the '06-'07 season that HCMT was gone for sure.

The prevailing thought is that Malkin doesn't want to play second fiddle to Crosby for his whole career.

But then again, money talks.
If someone paid you big bucks to do something you love,
you'd play a fiddle naked at halftime of the Super Bowl while eating balls.

But this rumor first came about back in February.
Someone "in the know" circulated the rumor.
This was amidst Malkin's insanity in Crosby's absence.

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::


The rumors don't end there.
Apparently, the Blue Jackets want the rights to Orpik or Malone. [ Puck-Rakers ]
[ Zach L. ] sent that in.

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Just because the season is over doesn't mean jackassery stops running rampant.

:: This is why some people shouldn't have internet access.
Some joke tell us not to get carried with this MAF Phenom stuff. [ Stan Fischler at Game On ]



Remember all the talk about experience being the difference in the Finals?

According to Stan the Man, it seems that when an up-and-coming goalie gives up some softies in the Finals,
it all of a sudden means he's not as good as advertised.

No, he's just not experienced. He's 23 years old.
We're not consistent with paying our bills on time.
So don't expect a 23-year-old to be consistent in his first Stanley Cup Final.

[ Puck Daddy ] laid into Fischler for the article.


[ Pat S. ]
:: The officiating in the SCF was biased towards the Pens. [ National Post ]


:: The Boss puts the Pens 4th in his season-ending power rankings. [ Yahoo ]


:: A woman who no one cares about (and who will die alone) hates the city of Pittsburgh.
[ Puck Daddy ]

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::



:: We respect Christy for her work over at [ Behind The Jersey ]


It looks like Niklas Kronwall loves the blog, too...maybe a little bit too much.


But she drove Red Corvette in the Cup Parade.
Speaking of which, did Lee P. die? [ Lee P. ]

:: Some asshat in Pittsburgh raped someone. [ WPXI ]
He should have been shot on sight.

Instead when police came to his house to can him,
he decided to engage in a standoff.

It's no surprise that he was sporting a Red Wings Cup Champions shirt.


Thanks to [ FritoWill ]

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::


Game #4
[ Don't Call It A Comeback. PENS WIN. ]




A comeback win for the Pens early in the season.
Never a bad thing.

C-BLOG CITY



:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::



Go Pens

We'll be tackling all this free-agency business in the near future.

2007-2008. What Doesn't Kill You, Makes You Stronger.

Forgive our spelling and incoherency.

To compare the end of this season to the end of last season...
we were too depressed to even do a Year-in-Review post.

It just hurt too much.

The prevailing thought in Pens Nation this season, though,
is that the Pens simply went up against the best team in the NHL and lost.

There's no shame in that.

This team gained legions of fans throughout the playoff run.
If at least one of those fans become a full-fledged regular-season fan, then this was a success.

It's hard not to look ahead to July 1.
It's hard to grasp the reality that this team will not be together next season.

Before we officially go ass-out into free-agency, trade, and retirement talk,
it's time for one final glance at this tremendous season.

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
Home

Mellon Arena


Another year under the Mellon's belt.
What a performance.

Whiteoutblog

Outdoor screen

Two more seasons until this:





:::::::::::::::::::::::
Ownership



66 has done all he said he was going to do.
The OK'd the Hossa deal.
They will spend to the cap.

Beast.

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
GM



In the offseason, Ray Shero was busy.
He re-signed Gary Roberts and Mark Recchi.
He signed Daryl Sydor and Petr Sykora, the latter of which was the steal of the season.

Shero quietly signed Ty Conklin.
He quietly signed Adam Hall, and Hall made the team.

During the season, he saw his team fight through injuries.
He did not panic early, and at the trade deadline, he dropped the hammer down by getting Marian Hossa.

This off season he will be a busy man.
In Shero we trust.


:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
COACHING STAFF


Talks of HCMT leaving town were everywhere early in the season.
All he did was right the ship, despite injuries to major stars of team.

HCMT will always have haters in this town, but you can't really bash a coach that was two wins away from winning it all.

Next year will be his toughest.
But that is next year, this year he did what he had to do.
Like or him or not, you have to respect it.


::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
BROADCAST TEAMS

(Presented by Ron Newcomer)

Radio team:

WXDX(105.9 FM)



Mike Lange and Phil Bourque were a joy to listen to all season long.
Mike Lange in the playoffs is what life is about it.



Fox Sports Net:


Paul Steigerwald and Bob Errey

In-Game Reporter:

Dan Potash


Fox sports got off to a slow start.
But they were there all year, and that is better than not.
Looking at it now, we would have killed for them compared to Versus in the playoffs.

***************************************************
THE PLAYERS



FORWARDS

#8 MARK RECCHI


For someone that once meant so much to the Penguins organization,
Mark Recchi became the early-season whipping boy overnight.

Maybe it was fair, maybe it wasn't.

Bottom line was that Recchi just didn't have a place on the team anymore, and it was clear.
He was getting almost 20 minutes a night and that was just too much.

Ray Shero made his first really tough move by placing Rex on waivers on December 5, 2007.



Rex was then signed by the Thrashers. In his first game, he scored two goals.
But after that, he was mud.

He did have a moment of revenge when he scored the game-winning goal against the Pens later on in the season.
But more on that later.

STATUS

Who cares. If he plays for the Penguins next year, we'll hold people hostage in the steel building.

#9 PASCAL DUPUIS



When Dupuis was included in the [Hossa] trade, no one really thought anything of it.
But for the first half of time here between him and Hossa, Dupuis looked like a better.

STATUS:
Made $880,000 and can be an unrestricted free agent.
He would be welcomed back, but it might not be in the cards.



#10 GARY ROBERTS


He doesn't even need a write up.
Coming into the season he was a hero.
Ending the season he became a legend.

Pittsburgh sports fans stand by their stars.
But they also like the players that are exactly superstars.

No one is sure if he will retire or not.
But the his time in Pittsburgh may be up.

Whatever the case, his stamp will forever be planted on the players around him, and the fans that watched him.

His work ethic has inspired a nation.

STATUS:
Made $2.5 million and can be an unrestricted free agent.

We don't care if he plays here until he is 50.
He does have a campaign to run, so who knows.





#11 JORDAN STAAL


Coming into the season the expectations on Jordan Staal were almost to much
His 29 goal rookie effort did that.
And while he struggled to score during the season, he quietly became on the best defensive players in the game.
During the 2008 playoffs, any questions aboutStaal were answered, because he was everywhere.
He scored some big goals, and was matched up against the first lines of Senators, Rangers, and Flyers almost every night.
Couple that with his killing of penalties, Staal has a successful second year.

His name will be followed by Selke award winner in a few years, mark it down.

STATUS:

One year left on three-year, entry-level deal.
Pens have to lock up Staal at some point.
Whether or not it is this summer remains to be seen.



#12 RYAN MALONE



Coming into the season, Ryan Malone was questioned.
There is no question about that.
After about 9 months, Malone not only proved himself as a big time hockey player, but he earned respect all throughout the hockey world.

Malone's work on a line with Petr Sykora and Evgeni Malkin during the season was nothing short of incredible.

He helped carry the Penguins to the playoffs there is no question.
Once there, Malone became a warrior.
He scored a top 5 goal in the playoffs in game two against the Senators.
He was solid throughout the playoffs, and he instantly became a warrior.
His nose was broken twice against the Red Wings.




He didn't miss a game.

STATUS:

Made $1.45 million and can be an unrestricted free agent.
Whatever the case, Malone went from a role player to a star, he will be paid like one.
He will be hard to keep, unless he gives a hometown discount.


#16 ERIK CHRISTENSEN



Erik Christensen biggest impact on this season was being traded for Marian Hossa.
Christensen fans will say he didn't have a chance, but sorry that is wrong.

When Crosby went down, Crusher had his chance.
And he folded.

His legacy will be in a Feburary 13 home game against the Bruins, he missed three opened nets in a loss.
He is a shootout specialist, but that don't mean jack.

STATUS:

There is always going to be that guy with the EC shirt at home games.

#17 PETR SYKORA


Petr Sykora was brought in to score about 25-30 goals and be a top six forward.
He did not disappoint.
He was a force all season long.
He may have had scored about 40 goals if he would have been on the number one powerplay unit.
But whatev.

Sykora's chemistry with Evgeni Malkin was a huge factor all season long.

The lasting image we will have of Sykora is his legendary called shot in Game 5 of the Stanley Cup finals.

Unreal.

STATUS:

Signed through next season at $2.5 million.
He will be a huge part in what the Pens do next season.


#18 MARIAN HOSSA




Ray Shero stunned the hockey world when he traded for Marian Hossa.
But he would have to wait for it to pay off.
In his first game back Hossa suffered a knee injury that kept him out for well over two weeks.
When he returned, he progressed slowly.
Going into the playoffs his lack of production in previous years followed him.
But he worked hard.
And when he finally broke though he justified the trade almost instantly.

We guaranteed a goal in both the Ottawa series and the Ranger series.
Each time he delivered.


And he sent us into the conference finals with an OT goal.



Once in the conference finals, Hossa scored what you could consider one of the biggest goals of the playoffs.
Early in a tough game against the Flyers, Hossa made the "Move."




He has given us many photoshops, and he introduced us to Rex Gildo.


STATUS:
Made $7 million, can be unrestricted free agent July 1.

He says he wants to stay here, but who would blame him if he takes a big contract somewhere.
The trade was worth everything.
End of story.
If the Pens want him, they will find a way to keep him.


#20 COLBY ARMSTRONG


Armstrong departure shocked everyone.
And if Hossa wouldn't have panned out, it would have really stunned.
But as things played out, no one was calling for Colby Armstrong.

But he was a fan favorite, and he will never be forgotten.
His lasting image will be his goal to open up the "Ice Bowl."


STATUS:

No dice.

# 24 KRIS BEECH


Vomit

STATUS:

Kill yourself.

#25 MAXIME TALBOT



Talbot was there for us all season long.
He suffered the tough high ankle sprain to, but you couldn't tell.
He was the teams heart and soul, and he scored some huge goals in the playoffs.
None bigger than this one:


STATUS:

Signed through next season at $700,000.

Talbot had great playoffs.
He is entering his prime, and should have a spot all to himself on the third line.



#27 GEORGES LARAQUE



BGL did what he had to do all year.
He added a nice little dimension to game, by taking the puck behind the net in the offense zone.
He was a beast to get the puck from.
But he is known for his fighting no question.



STATUS:

Makes $1.3 million and will be an unrestricted free agent.

BGL, it would seem he might have played his last game for the Pens.
But does his mere presence warrant a contract?
We shall find out.


#28 ADAM HALL



Adam Hall made the team out of training camp, and no one really knew much about him.
Hall was a solid faceoff man, and even killed some penalties.
He missed almost 50 games with a sports hernia.
But he returned in the playoffs and played very well.

STATUS:

Made $525,000 and can be an unrestricted free agent.
Adam is a solid NHL citizen.
No one is complaining if he is in a Pens jersey next year.



#37 JARKKO RUUTU

What a player.
Rutuu, if he comes back, could take over as cult hero on the Pens, if he wasn't one already.
He had a great playoff run, and showed some discipline compared to the regular season.
He is a huge leader in the locker room, and a guy everyone wants on their team.

STATUS:

Made $1.15 million and can be an unrestricted free agent.

The smart money would say Shero's signs him up.
But with so many others to lock up, who knows.
We don't want to lose a reader, so we want him back:


You'd be awful sick if he signed with the Flyers, though.

[Patrick K]

#38 JEFF TAFFE


Taffe is a solid NHL player.
And he gave the Pens some good minutes.
He scored a huge goal in Montreal.


STATUS:

Made $500,000 and can be an unrestricted free agent.
Wouldn't buy that Taffe jersey yet, but whatev.




#48 TYLER KENNEDY


Mr. Kennnnnedddyyyyy...

Kennedy got the call up early in the season, he earned his spot here.
He has speed, and showed he can scored.
With the experience he gained, and if he keeps getting better, no reason to think he isn't on the third line to open up the year.

STATUS:

Signed through next season at $550,000.


#71 EVGENI MALKIN


This whole season doesn't go as far as it did without Evgeni Malkin.
He was simply on another level from January to June.
In his second full year, he finished second in the NHL points, and is a candidate for the Hart Trophy.
People were so quick to jump on him when he faltered against the Red Wings.
But he was injured.
There is no way to deny that.
If you watched him all year, it was beyond clear.

The one thing we did find out about Malkin.
It is Gino, not Geno.

STATUS:
One year left on three-year, entry-level deal.

THE PENS ARE NOT GOING TO TRADE MALKIN
THE PENS ARE NOT GOING TO TRADE MALKIN
THE PENS ARE NOT GOING TO TRADE MALKIN
THE PENS ARE NOT GOING TO TRADE MALKIN
THE PENS ARE NOT GOING TO TRADE MALKIN
THE PENS ARE NOT GOING TO TRADE MALKIN
THE PENS ARE NOT GOING TO TRADE MALKIN
THE PENS ARE NOT GOING TO TRADE MALKIN
THE PENS ARE NOT GOING TO TRADE MALKIN
THE PENS ARE NOT GOING TO TRADE MALKIN

The talk of trading Malkin is enough to make everyone sick.
First off you'd have to trade him straight up for someone of equal value.
And there are not many worthy of that.
You can't trade him for multiple players, because they would cost you more in the long run.
The money is there, Malkin will be a Penguins for a very long time.





#87 SIDNEY CROSBY


His season was derailed by a high ankle sprain.
Right at the time of it, he was taking it to another level.
He only came back and led the NHL in points in the playoffs up until the final game.
He is a beast, nothing needs to be said.

STATUS:

Signed through 2012-13 at average of $8.7 million per season.
You could have a kid next time he has to renew his deal.



...............................................................

DEFENSEMEN

#2 HAL GILL


Picked up for a draft pic, Hal Gill has a very tough first game.
But after that, he slowly became solid.
After it was all said and done.
He became the USS Hal Gill.


Credit goes to Stoosh and the boys for the nickname

STATUS

Signed through next season at $2.1 million.

The USS Hal Gill will sail again.


#3 MARK EATON



Eaton was having a solid year until some jerkoff from Boston gave him a cheap shot ending his year with an injured knee.
It was a tough blow to the defense, and you can't help but think how much better the defense would have been with him there.




STATUS:

Made $1.6 million and can be an unrestricted free agent.
You'd have to think the Pens can get Eaton at the right price for next season.
Do it.

#4 ROB SCUDERI


There was a time when Scuds was left for dead.
No one gave him a chance out of training camp.
But he was the rock of the Penguins defense all season. You can't count on much, but you can count on Rob Scuderi.

STATUS:
Signed through next season at $725,000.

Maybe he will get some photoshop love next year?


#5 DARYL SYDOR


Sydor was brought in to anchor the Pens defense, and give them experience.
He kind of did both at points.
He did come in and play well in the finals.

STATUS:
Signed through next season at $2.5 million.

Would that 2.5 be better served somewhere else?


#19 RYAN WHITNEY



Everyones favorite whipping boy had an up and down year.
He was playing right wing at one point.
Still, he wasn't awful, and clearly has his best hockey in front of him.

STATUS:
Signed through 2012-13 at an average of $4 million per season.

His name will come up trade rumors all summer.

#32 ALAIN NASREDDINE


Oops.

STATUS:

Yea.

#44 BROOKS ORPIK


Sometimes there isn't one moment you watch a player become a big deal.
It just happens.
Yes "the Shift," was a big deal.
But Orpik was already well on his way before that.
His crossroads came in the tail end of the season when he was playing on the fourth line.
Something clicked, and became the Pens most rugged defenseman.
And then, thanks to a random photoshop
He became, Free Candy.




STATUS:

Made $1.075 million and can be unrestricted free agent.
One of toughest things about this off season.
Orpik proved himself, and letting him walk would be stunning.
But on the other hand, he is going to get some big time offers that will be unmatchable.
If he plays for the Rangers next year, life won't make sense.


#55 SERGEI GONCHAR


Gonch is the Penguins best defenseman.
Don't think so?
Have fun finding 50 plus points next year.
He had his best year in a Pens uniform.
There is nothing to suggest he won't be better next year.

STATUS:
Signed through 2009-10 at an average of $5 million per season.
He has tons of good hockey left in him.
And if you want to keep Malkin happy, you keep Gonch around.

#58 KRIS LETANG



Letang didn't make the team out of training camp.
And was having a tough time dealing with that.
But he got his mind right, and when he got his chance he was everything you hoped for.

He became, Le Game after he closed out a bunch of shootouts with goals.



STATUS:

Signed through 2009-10 at an average of $835,000 per season.
The sky is the limit.





................................................

GOALIES

#29 MARC-ANDRE FLEURY


Any questions about MAF have long been put to rest.
Even though he missed a good bit of time with a high ankle sprain, he became the goalie everyone hoped for.
Sporting a 24-3-1 record at one point, he was brilliant down the stretch, and all business in the playoffs.
And he is only going to get better.

STATUS:

Made $1.6 million and can be a restricted free agent.
Kevin Lowe waits.



#30 DANY SABOURIN


SABUUUUUUUUUUUU


Sabu played some big time games.
His shutout in Montreal was clutch, and if you think about it. If he loses some of the games he plays in, the Pens don't get the number two seed in the East.
Solid season.

STATUS:

Signed through next season at $525,000.
Bring it.


# 35 TY CONKLIN


The NHL season changes you.
Things happen that you just never can figure out.
The rise of Ty Conklin was one of those things.
Not that he was horrible coming in, but you never would have imagined him coming in and taking over the world.
Without Ty Conklin's performance, the Pens don't make the playoffs.
Simply as that.




STATUS:
Made $500,000 and can be an unrestricted free agent.
No matter what happens.
Conkblock will always be remembered for his run.



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:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

THE GAMES

If Blogger didn't become a bitch when we embed more than 5 YouTubes,
we would have every YouTube imaginable in this post.

[ 2007-2008 Game Archive ]

Our game archive linked below has everything all laid out:
box scores, game recaps, and YouTube Highlights.

The worst part about these lists is we will undoubtedly miss a couple things.
Help us out in the comments, as always.

GREATEST MOMENTS OF THE SEASON

11.22.07

[ Come On Up For The Rising. PENS WIN. ]
At the end of a horrible November in which the Pens couldn't beat a divisional opponent to save their lives, they headed to Ottawa -- the scene of the crime.

The Pens had to claw back from 2 goals behind to force OT and a shootout.
Ruutu did the move in the shootout and ended it.

Without a doubt, a turning point in the season if there ever was one.
The Pens never looked back.

12.05 -- 12.08
Pens Sweep Western Canada

All hail Bing.

The crown prince made his voyage through Western Canada,
and the Canadian media was watching.

While Sid didn't drop 3 points a game, the Pens did drop 2 points a game,
sweeping the three teams with the help of emerging shootout specialist Kris Letang.

01.01.08
[ The Day After Tomorrow. PENS WIN. ]




Smack-dab in the middle of an 8-game winning streak,
the Pens skated with the Buffalo Sabres in Ralph Wilson Stadium.

Incredible atmosphere.

And the fairy tale ended how it was supposed to with Crosby scoring the game-winner in the shootout.




01.19.08
[ Blood, Sweat, and Tears. PENS WIN. ]
A shutout of the Canadiens in Montreal has lost its mystique over the years.
It is not as intimidating as it's been in the past.

Dany Sabourin was in net.
It was the night following Crosby's HAS.

But more importantly, it was the coming-out party for Evgeni Malkin.
With the Pens' playoff hopes on his shoulders, Malkin showed he was up to the task.

A brilliant two-way performance was capped off with an empty-netter.

03.09.08
[ Thank You, Niklas. PENS WIN. ]
Honestly, you can punch us in our ass next season when we say that a game has a playoff feel.
What we faced in the 2008 playoffs changes peoples' lives.

However, it was difficult to say that this tilt on March 9 didn't have a playoff atmosphere.
National television. Bing vs. Ovechkin. The Caps battling for a playoff spot.

In a 2-2 game late, Caps forward Niklas Backstrom puts it into his own net.
A very anti-climactic end to an otherwise outstanding game.


2008 PLAYOFFS

04.11.08
[ The Great Escape. PENS WIN. ]
We thought Ryan Malone's goal late in Game 2 was the best thing that ever happened.
Jesus. It seems like this was two years ago.
This picture says anything we could hope to say.

05.04.08
[ Fuhgettaboutit. PENS ADVANCE. ]
It was barely a month ago.
Hossa nets the game-winner in OT to catapult the Pens into the ECF.

05.18.08