Mission Accomplished

That jobber who stole the photoshops has succumbed to relentless comment-jobbing and has taken down the photoshops.

[ Photoshop Thief ]

The site has replaced the photoshops in the post with this:

Haydi sildik aykırı topluluk sizi :)

Ashley in the comments spotted it.

Reader Jessica B. figured it was Turkish and put it through a translator:

Fish Fish is crosswise group that is wiped You

We've put it through anagram generators to no avail.

Whatev.

Sum Of All Fears. PENS LOSE.

5 - 1

[ NHL.com RECAP ]

Yep.


If you were in rehab for a Meth addiction...

You would have relapsed by the third goal scored, been at your local drug dealer by middle of the second when you heard Hossa got hurt, and had a fully operational lab going with five minutes to play in the third.

But Hossa isn't hurt that bad.
Crosby is still coming back.
Gary Roberts is alive.

And yeah, that knot in our stomach will be there until Hossa's back in action.
But at least John Leclair didn't hit him.

.......................................................................

Anthem

-- Alison --


--PittHockey--



--Patrick F.--

........................................................

FIRST PERIOD

If you thought Hossa was gonna come out and dominate, you have to remember not to confuse him with another Penguin legend with a first name starting with "Mari-"

He got a good shot off early, and Tim Thomas was screened but somehow got a piece of it.

Getting a first look at Pascal Dupuis, you vomit on your mom because you think you're seeing Rico Fata out there.

Laughy Taffe gets a breakaway. But Tim Thomas is so fat, Taffe is stunned.

And you just know that somewhere on some message board someone was cursing Ray Shero and the trade when Marco Sturm deflects some jobber shot past Conk.

1-0.

By the time Sturm came into the Pens zone and beat Conk straight up, it was the worst trade in the history of professional sports.

2-0.

Marc Savard went to make out with himself in the penalty box.
Power play.

Nothing doing on that travesty, and the period came to a close.

.............................................................................

SECOND PERIOD

Just as it was in the first period, the second began very charlie.
The Bruins unleash the dreaded shot from the point. It deflects in.

3-0.

When the playoffs come around, every shot from the point takes at least 20 minutes off your life.

You may have known what was coming next. You may not have.
But some Pens fans turned to their spouse or life partner and said, "Bring him in."

And you probably also knew that Hossa and Malkin were gonna get teamed up.
But they were gonna have to penetrate Boston's stifling trap.

After some crap, the Pens got a golden opportunity when Zdeno Chara goes to the box.

It took the top unit about an hour to get into the zone, but they finally did.

The Pens get their best chance up to that point of the game when a Jeff Taffe rebound turns into a Tim Thomas fumble.

The Bruins keep it out.

Somewhere during the second, another Bruin makes another cheap play to injure a Penguin.
First, it was Marco Sturm on Mark Eaton back in the day.
And this time, it was Glen Murray kneeing Marian Hossa.

The Giant Gonzalez comes out of the box and finds himself in a 2-on-1, but he's more awkward than when your uncle flirts with your mom.
Ryan Whitney gets called for some phantom hooking call.

Raaahhhh

The Pens kill it off.

It would have been nice if the Pens could get something on the board before the end of the second.
As you're thinking that, Letang gets lambasted into the boards.
The puck goes in front.

4-0.

JFK-Stunned

.......................................................................

THIRD PERIOD

All that really mattered in the third was the pending prognosis from Dr. Quinn Medicine Poopstain.

She relays the news to Dan Potash:

HOSSA OUT POSSIBLY A WEEK WITH MCL SPRAIN

LGP.com member ELMO6687 had seen enough.

Nothing else mattered by that time.
The Pens just had to go through the motions.

Talbot jobs some dude from behind, and Chara doesn't like it.
Hal Gill makes his presence known.

Somehow, the Pens get a power play out of that crap.
It gets killed.

Right after the power play, Dupuis gets to the slot and gets one past Tim Thomas 4-1..
Does Dupuis look like like Uncle Jesse from Full House?

[Adam V]

It got ugly after that, with Thomas punching Malkin in the head while he was trying to poke a loose puck home.

There was a 4-on-4 late in the game. Nobody cares.

That Lucic turd finally drops the glove with someone.
He chooses Jarkko Ruutu.

Ruutu hangs in there. Solid fight.
And you gotta like Lucic going into the dressing room afterward, high-fiving the fans.

Practicing for his job next season as ground crew at a county airport. Joke.

The Bruins get a power play out of it.
Shot from the point. Care. 5-1.

Malkin gets interfered with, gets pissed, trips someone.
Sykora shoots the puck at Thomas after the whistle.
Thomas gets to the puck and shoots it at Syko.

The Bruins end the game on the power play, as the clock mercifully goes to all zeroes.

Game.

STATS

• Sykora, Malkin, Letang, Dupuis, Gill: -3
  

MISCELLANEOUS

• We're not dicks, but where's Maxime Talbot?
• You can say it -- you miss Rob Scuderi.
• Is Boston good? We can't tell.
• Could be a long weekend.
• MAF?
• [The Hoss photoshop--Chris E--]

IT'S COMING

GameDay (65) -- Hossa @ Bruins

Thanks to Sean from [ Going Five Hole ] for this swift kick to the balls and ovaries.
Army just looks happily confused.

..........................................................................

If anyone is in the jobbing mood, [ some website ] basically copied and pasted one of our (meaning everyone) photoshop expos without giving any credit as to where it came from.

It looks like some automated site that goes and grabs stuff from the internet.

Their comments are ripe for the picking.

.........................................................................

7:08:18 PM

This went from being some jobber game at the end of February...
to easily one of the most anticipated regular-season games in Penguin history.

At 7:00, FSN will open its broadcast with a shot of Hossa lacing up his skates,
sharing a laugh with Evgeni Malkin.

You'll have roughly 8 minutes to recover from passing out before the opening faceoff.

Word has it Ty Conklin is in net. [PSI]

..............................................................




How pumped is this guy.
He won the million-dollar shot thing last night.
It almost makes up for his last name being "Head"



Thanks to Ashley from [ Faceoff Factor ]

What a moment.

Kevin Lowe was in the building.
Just saying.

..............................

The season starts today. Again.

Only one last thing to do.



Let's kick the tires and light the fires.

Hossanna In The Highest

Here's how we think things went down on Tuesday.

2:56 PM

Montreal GM Bob Gainey and Ottawa GM Bryan Murray are talking to Atlanta's Don Waddel.





Jim Ross: Well, looks like Hossa will be going to the Canadiens. The contract is being signed.

Wait a second.... What is that?...

--"Boys Of Winter" comes over the loud speakers.--





Shero: Hey Yo. Hossa's a Pen.

--Throws mic down--


Jim Ross: Good God! Good God Almighty!

We have reliable sources who've told us that is how it truly went down.

What else might have happened?

[ Orland Kurtenblog ] has an intriguing breakdown of TSN's Bob McKenzie's latest blogpost that offers the possibility that Mario Lemieux, not Shero, was calling the shots to get Hossa.

................................................................................

AFTERMATH


Brass of a Riverboat Gambler
[J Schiff]

"I was sleeping sound, getting ready to play ." Armstrong said.
"And I woke up to that. I didn't have a clue it was coming."

"No booing me," Armstrong said, smiling. "It will be strange.
It was tough to look my friends in the eye when they came to say goodbye to me.
It's a weird thing." [ PG ]

"I've really enjoyed my time here," Christensen said. "But I think in the end, I'm more excited than sad. I'll miss the guys and I'll miss the organization ... but I'm excited about the opportunity I'll possibly get in Atlanta. More than anything, I think it will be good for my career."


-- Richard R --


-- Mike Shoey --


[James C]
This was the most popular photoshop picture by far.

More:

--Kevin D.--/ -- David B.--

--Doug H--

...........................................

Reactionblog

[ Empty Netters ]
Seth made some waves by strictly opposing the trade.
Those waves actually went all the way to NHL Home Ice Radio on XM.

[ Joe Starkey -- Trib ]
Shuts down the "we mortaged our future" camp.

[ Taking One For The Team ]
The trading deadline through the eyes of Loser Chris.

[ Do the Thrashers Have Large Talons? ]
They said the Thrashers got bigger, cheaper, and younger as a result.
They're thinking EC will battle for a center spot on the top two lines next season.

[ Atlanta Journal-Constitution Blog ]
Craig Custance, the guy who writes AJC Blog, is a machine.
He reports that the Penguins sweetened the deal at the last minute,
but Thrashers GM Waddell wouldn't disclose what that sweetener was.

[ Fire Wagon Hockey ]
A Pensblog reader in Atlanta.
They promise to bring us some solid pics of Army and Crusher.

[ Ross McKeon at Yahoo ]
He gives the Pens trading a D+.
He seems hung up on giving away draft picks.

Ray Shero has no clue who Ross McKeon is.


D+ in life

========

In final, Fire Wagon Hockey mentioned there were huge rumors in Atlanta that goalie Kari Lehtonen and Hossa were gonna be shipped off somewhere together.

Considering Montreal traded away goalie Cristobal Huet,
it's safe to say where Kari Lehtonen was headed...

...until Ray Shero showed the hockey world who...he...was...


...And pooped on Montreal.



Eric P. hooked us all up with a video of the new arrivals.

.....................................................

THE OUTDOOR CLASSIC
[ WPXI ]



Bethel Park and Mt. Lebanon will square off tonight at the South Park outdoor rink.

Faceoff is at 8:00PM
$5 Admission with proceeds going to the Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation.

And since one of the Mt. Lebanon players is a confirmed reader, we'll pull for them.

..................................................



:: Rob Scuderi out a month possibly. [ Trib ]
Not good.

:: Hossa says he's not thinking about his contract. [ PG ]
Adam Hall's out for the season, too.
That frees up #18, although Hall had already agreed to switch to #28.

:: Hossa's with Staal and Malone for now. [ PG ]
:: Dupuis is with Malkin and Sykora. [ PG ]


......................................

NHL


The Sens fired their coach. [ TSN ]
Our old friend Bryan Murray is back behind the bench.


--Hutch--

We will forever have a connection with Bryan Murray.
Last March, Pensblog Charlie made his first-ever appearance in a Bryan Murray slam.
[ Penguin Equinox ]


And more fall out, as G-Dub from [ Deadspin ] found.
Ottawa is underwhelmed by only getting one guy at the deadline.


Dicks

........................................

-- Standing O-blog --

We don't call him the DOCTOR for nothing.

[Jame Mirtle] rattles off 38 posts during the trade deadline.


Sick
..............................................................

And lastly...

Pittsburgh mourns.



R.I.P.

.........................................

Go Pens

The Bigger Picture. PENS WIN.

4 - 2

[ NHL.com Recap ]

If there was ever a game that you could liken to an out-of-body experience, it would be this game.

You couldn't get the name HOSSA out of your head.
You were waiing for Colby Armstrong to job someone.
You were expecting EC to miss a wide-open net.

It was a palpable feeling you couldn't describe.

And no matter how you feel about the trade,
love it or hate it, this is want we have longed for.

February 26th last year = It looked like we wouldn't even have a team.

We don't have to talk about Arena deals anymore.
We don't have to worry about salary dumping.
Our GM just rolled the dice.

The Pens could have lost this game.
There would've been a collective "whatev."

But for the good of the cause, the journey continues.
Next stop Beantown, man.

Pat Lackey of [ Fanhouse ] said it best:

Here's what I know as a Pens' fan: four years ago I sat outside for two hours on a freezing cold night to try and get student tickets to see Ramzi Abid, Michel Ouellet, Sebastien Caron, and leading scorer Dick Tarnstrom. When I woke up today, the Pens had an awesome young team that had a chance to make a deep run into the playoffs. Tonight, they still have that same team, along with Marian Hossa, and we now know is their GM ballsy enough to make this kind of move to win a Cup at all costs. I fail to see how this is a bad thing.

.....................................................................

National Anthem


-- Del Pen --



--Sean from [Going Five Hole]--


--Jeff H--

It still amazes us how everyone pulls through with at least one pic every game.
It makes our eyes well up.

Jeff H. and Del Pen. Know each other?


......................................................................................

FIRST PERIOD

Penaltyblog started early, with the Pens having to kill a Jordan Staal penalty for maybe the 20th consecutive game.

After some more penalities back and forth, Malkin danced out from behind the net.
He backpedals and holds the puck for an hour.

Snapshot.
If you sent us a PS if him moonwalking, the pic didn't open.


1-0.

Gonch went to the box for holding, and then Whitney threw the puck over the glass like 30 seconds later.
An Islander player hit the back of his stick, which helped the puck along, but it is what it is.

Thankfully for the Pens, the only penalty kill on which one of their sticks didn't break was during that 5-on-3.
They eventually killed it all.

Richard Park headed to the box for being a joke.
After the Islanders had 23 shorthanded chances, Jeff Taffe was able to put some trash home.

2-0.

Somewhere in the first, Islanders assistant coach Gerard Gallant got douched in the face.
Always scary. But too bad it wasn't Al Albour when he coached that game.

And that was it.
Props to Conklin in that first period, stopping all 23 shots he faced.

..............................................................................

SECOND PERIOD

Penaltyblog stayed alive and well early in the second, when Jordan Staal goes to the box again.
The Pens kill it.

Conklin was out of his mind.

The action went back and forth for a while, and it was solid.

And the Laraque went to the box.
The Islanders power-play ineptitude for the all night resulted in the boo birds making an appearance.
And they were loud.

The Islanders are mud, so you knew they were gonna score some cheap-ass goal.
Some turd throws it to the net, and it hits something.

2-1.

Check out the guy in the top right-hand corner.
Looks like he's adjusting his pager or possibly doing something more awesome.
Too bad this isn't 1990.

The Islanders public-address announcer decides to give an assist on the goal to "#44 Brooks Opik. M-M-Meyer. Assist to Meyer."

That just shows you how disinterested that guy is.

The second period had flown by.

...................................................................

Between periods, you felt an obligation to go into your NHL video game and trade away Armstrong and Christensen for Marian Hossa and Pascal Dupuis.

.....................................................................

THIRD PERIOD

Malkin made a move sometime during the third that turned adjectives into verbs.
But DiPietro says no.

Halfway through the third, the Islanders had racked up the shot count to 45-13.

Time clicked down.
The Pens were gonna get a power play.
Before they can get there, Malkin makes an unrealistic pass to Staal.
And finally, a goal.

3-1.

Father Time was officially banging the Islanders' wives when the Pens get another power play late.
Just not good times on Long Island.

If you want to know why Ryan Whitney is a big deal, check out the pass he fed to Connor James.
It's sad to show up Connor James on his first NHL goal, but what a pass.

4-1.

He entered in a taxi.
He left...as a hero.
He also dropped the F-bomb. Solid.

Right after that goal, Tyler Kennedy and Mike Comrie drop the gloves.
Kennedy gets some solid punches in.
But all that matters is Comrie got some practice for when he gets home.
Why was he so mad anyway?

The trade deadline turned Charlie into a bisexual.
The deadline has that effect. Don't expect this to stick, though.

Some jobber penalty to Malkin results in some cheap Islanders goal. 4-2.

GAME.

STATS

• Malkin: 1G, 1A
• Conklin: 94 saves
  

MISCELLANEOUS

• Hossa
• Who gives up 50+ shots and still wins? These Penguins do.
  
• What a time to be alive.
• The circus starts Thursday.
• This trade shook our foundation.
• Pensblog Guarantee: Staal's domination begins now.
  

..................................

Hossablog

At one point in time, you'll search images of Marian Hossa for the first time to make a photoshop of him.

We are still struggling for a nicknames for him.

For right now...


The Big Hossman

We also have Hossa's Steak and Sea House, as well as Hossanah in the Highest.
Nicknames are no picnic. This will have to be a collective cblog effort.

Here are some fresh new photoshops of Hossa:


--JS--
[The first PS we got in of Hossa]


--Patrick K--


--Eric H--
(Any Abbey Road PS is good in our book.
Respect the artistry done to cover up for the absence of Ringo.)

If we ran Penguins marketing department, there would be a pic like this of Staal, Malkin, MAF, and Crosby on Center Ave.


--Nicholas S--


--Dan T--

....................................

And finally.

Before all this madness started,
the following comment was posted in C-blog Monday morning and has haunted us ever since:



Phil reminded us when the Roberts news broke that he had broken the news 15 hours before.

=========================

We think it is either Ray Shero or Phil Collins.




Go Pens

GameDay (64) -- Pens @ Isles

[Nassau Coliseum]

7:00pm




Hossa

The Shot Heard 'Round The World

The word "BlockBuster" has its origins in the movie business.

Back in the old days, the theaters were on city streets.

If a movie was bad-ass, the line to get in would be so long that it would literally clog up the streets, thus busting blocks.

In regards to Pens GM Ray Shero pulling the trigger on this Marian Hossa trade with the brass of a riverboat gambler, you can't give the trade the title of "BlockBuster."

Big-name players only went one way.

.................................................................

What kind of Penguin fan are you?
When you heard of the trade, did you immediately think about Hossa?
Or did sadness strike for a moment when you saw Colby Armstrong's name?

We must say farewell to a guy who will forever have a place in our soul.





It's just tough.
It's sickening to think about it.

You saw the Hossa trade, clicked the link, and quickly scanned the article to see who the Pens had to send away.

"Colby Armstrong" stuck out like a sore thumb.

When you photoshop someone, you gain a bond with them.
You zoom in close on their face, blurring out some edges.
This is why it's so tough.

He came up in 05-06 and flourished on Crosby's wing.
He's never reached those offensive numbers since, but there wasn't one Penguin fan who would pile on Armstrong when he was going through a bad stretch.

We think it's tough as a fan.
But everyone knows Colby and Crosby's relationship.
What toll with this have on Sidney Crosby?


"Losing a friend is hard. A friend gives you sanctuary and companionship when life is tough."


Dr. Phil = Zero Stanley Cup rings

On the other hand, we've lost Erik Christensen, too, but it's fair to say that we traded away his potential rather than his offensive contribution.
And it was easy to pile on him.

We lose Esposito as well, but on a roster already laden with five bona fide first-round draft picks in Crosby, Staal, MAF, Whitney, and Malkin....

Something had to give.

We also lose a first-round pick to be named later.
Like we need another first-round pick on this team.

.......................................................................................

And now for the new arrivals.

MARIAN HOSSA

He has a cool name, and the trading deadline became the Hossa Sweepstakes.



Solid stats. Just solid.
There's nothing to say except that he's Sid's buddy now.

PASCAL DUPUIS



All we know about him is that he was that "french guy" on the Thrashers.

Colby Armstrong -- 9 goals this season.
Erik Christensen -- 9 goals this season.



HAL GILL

Let's not forget the Pens grabbing Hal Gill from the Leafs for two draft picks.
If he's a Derian Hatcher or Eric Cairns, God help us.

All we know is he's been a pain in the ass against the Pens.

............................................................................

When you sit back and look at the big trade, you deliberate a couple things.

1 -- What's the more extreme feeling? Armstrong being gone or Hossa being here?

2 -- Hossa has turned the Penguins into a team that will TRULY strike fear in the balls of other teams...if the Pens can sign him.

3 -- Undoubtedly, the Atlanta brass talked with Mark Recchi about this deal.
Props to Ray Shero getting this done without giving up Staal or Malone.

4 -- Consider this a huge win for the Pens if Hossa is here longterm.
We lost a fan favorite, a player who teases you with ability, and an unproven first-round pick for Sid's long-awaited finisher.

5 -- If all of the involved players were emotionless robots, Ray Shero would be arrested for larceny.

.....................................................................

It's Shero's job to worry about money and the security of the team.

It's the job of the fans to cheer on the team.
If you're gonna wonder about the Pens future every time Hossa touches the puck, you're a mistake.

Be glad the Pens are in the position to make a move like this.
Not too long ago, players were abandoning ship at the trade deadline.
And now some players would kill to come to Pittsburgh with Sid and Malkin.

................................................................

BY THE WAY...



THIS SUNDAY
MELLON ARENA

The 11th Hour

One hour to go.

Pens have been quiet as expected.

But Shero is still shopping.

Some pretty good deals thus far. [TSN]

TSN's trade center might be the best show on earth.

NHL.com is streaming it live. [NHL.com]

Brad Richards to Dallas.

Jason Campbell to Sharks.

Colorado thinks its 1996.

Washington actually made some decent moves.


Pens have a press conference at 4:30 pm

Thanks to Marty the Chicken for breaking the news.


We did hear someone is in the best shape of his life.


...........................

Go Pens

A Time To Deal, A Time To Heal

People always say, "Don't kill the messenger."

But KDKA's Bob Pompeani was ready for a beatdown when he delivered the news late Monday night that Gary Roberts' return this season is questionable.

But Pompeani is just doing his job.

Ron Cook is unleashing the news in his column Tuesday.
And it's much easier to hate Ron Cook. [ PG ]

That is the first time we have read anything Ron Cook has wrote in 10 years.

Life just doesn't make sense anymore.
But...

If anyone can bounce back from two bad leg injuries, it is Roberts.
"You can be damn sure I'll give it my best effort," he said.

"I just want to be a piece of the puzzle," he said. "Even as a third-line player ..."

"There's no way I want to pack it in under these circumstances" -- he conceded, quietly, "I know I have to show them something this year to be back next year."



WWGRD will live on forever, no matter what.

We believe in the power. So if you think we are writing him off, you're nuts.
It just doesn't seem like the story should end yet.

We say don't kill the messenger, but the doctors who gave Roberts the news of an overlooked torn ligament are noticably absent in that Ron Cook article.
Just sayin.

.....................................................................

Deadlineblog

There is nothing like the NHL trade deadline.
Insanity is everywhere.

Case in point:

Nick Kypreos, of some Canadian website that gave him a job because he played in the NHL, says the Pens are trading Evgeni Malkin.





We will put our blog on the line.
If the Penguins trade Malkin today, we will walk away from Pensblog forever.
.......

We should be able to give up-to-the-minute updates for most of the day.

We may even liveblog for a while, whatever that means.
Either way, we get our updates from TSN, so just go there instead.

[ TSN.ca ]
[ TSN.ca ]
[ TSN.ca ]


Also covering the day will be our boys at [ FaceoffFactor ].


.................................................................

The rumors have been running rampant over the past few weeks.

Martin Havlat's coming here.
Hal Gill is coming here.
Fleury is leaving town.
Orpik is leaving town.
Nobody knows.



The wisdom of Ray Shero:
"As with anything, it depends on the cost," he said. "It's like when you go shopping for a car. You might like something, but it's way out of your price range, or if you have a family budget, sometimes it's not going to fit into what you want to do."

=====================

The one name jobbing around is Angelo Esposito, the Pens' first-round pick this past draft.
He was injured, which made him drop to the Pens in the draft.

But he has a cool name, which may trick a team into giving the Pens something for a player who's been frowned upon since getting injured last season.


The big rumor is that Hal Gill is coming to Pittsburgh.
Whatev.

What we must mention is that commentor "PHIL" mentioned Monday morning that Roberts was gonna be out for another month at least.
It came true.

He also mentioned Armstrong was on his way out of Pittsburgh.
Stay tuned.


.........................................................................

MAFblog

-- [ Fanhouse ] has an article about MAF and Conklin.
Greg Dubs, who offered testimony on Conklin's behalf, brings you that column.

That article also had this quote from GM Ray Shero:

"The plan is for [ Fleury ] to be here for a long period of time.
I don't see that changing."

-- [ TSN ] had an article about MAF that said something interesting.

Fleury, the No. 1 pick in the 2003 draft, still has some pain in his right ankle but said,
"I can play through it."

..................................................................................


Can anyone explain this picture?

(Maybe the Devils suck so much that it pulled Dany Sabourin to their bench.)
Nyuk, nyuk.

.........................................................................................


Peter Forsberg finally ends the stupidest soap opera of the season.
He signed with Colorado. What an attention whore. [ TSN ]


Remember that Kaleta turd that plays for the Sabres?
He messed up Paul Mara's face. [ Yahoo ]

..................................


--Franklin S.--

...................................................

Back in the day, whenever the Pens would go on the power play, they were so deadly that the powers that be at Mellon Arena would play the JAWS theme before the power play would commence.

For the longest time, we could not find pictures of it.
Until now.


--Greg--


--DJannes --

--Matt H--

--Darren V--

For further proof of this, we direct you to YouTube.

From "One from the Heart," at about the 9:00 mark:



The only question is, what can we do to bring this back?

.............................................................................

Courtesy of Mondesi's House:
[ Top 10 Players The Pens Should Trade For ]

It totally disregards salary-cap considerations, not to mention age of players and what the Pens would have to give up in return.

But just go with it.

=======================

In honor of that post, we decided to make a list of our own.

Our Top 5 Players the Pens Should Trade For

1. Vincent Lecavalier



Honestly, who wouldn't want Lecavalier?
He's a beast.
Make it happen, Shero.

EC and a bottle of wine from Mario's cellar should get it done.

2. Alex Ovechkin



He leads the league in goals.
Can you imagine getting Ovechkin? SICK!!!
He's teh best player in teh world!!1!!1
Make it happen, Shero.

We heard Staal's dad plus a seventh-round draft choice.

3. Roberto Luongo



How great would the Pens be if they got Luongo?
Stanley Cup City.
Make it happen, Shero.

Easy trade. Jeff Jimmerson's hair for Luongo straight up.

4. Niklas Lidstrom


Sergei Gonchar and Niklas Lidstrom on the blue line is a coach's dream.
We see nothing stopping this from becoming reality.
Make it happen, Shero

Easiest trade ever.

Luke Ravenstahl, Cyril Wecht, plus the 96.1 KISS morning show for Lidstrom.

5. Ilya Kovalchuk


We don't know why no one has seen this before.
He's a scoring winger. Exactly what the Pens need.

Make it happen, Shero.

Jason Bay for Ilya straight up.

........................................................

Speaking of jokes.

Don Cherry:



Don Cherry gives props to Ryan Malone, but refuses to give any credit to Evgeni Malkin because he hates Russian players.

Dick



......................

Try not to vomit between 11:00 and 3:00 this afternoon.

Oh, and the Pens play tonight, too.

Gary Roberts = Stunned

KDKA reports that a Ron Cook column in Tuesday's Post-Gazette will say that Roberts has had a major setback in his rehab of a broken leg.

He has torn ligaments in his ankle, and may be out until March 27th, or may not return at all.

[ PSI ]


God help us all




...........................

Things are insane right now.


Stay tuned.

We're Gonna Need A Bigger Boat. PENS LOSE.

2 - 1
SHOOTOUT

[ Yahoo Recap ]

What are we really looking at here?

If these two games had occurred immediately following Crosby's injury,
Pens Nation would be elated and morale would be up.

Instead, these back-to-back post-regulation losses to top NHL teams occur in late February.

The Pens are sitting a mere 3 points from the top seed in the Atlantic.
Sidney Crosby is coming back.
Fleury is coming back.
Roberts is coming back.
The Flyers are in a freefall.

The team doesn't need a "shakeup" at the trading deadline in order to make it a contender.

If anything, what the Pens need to do is trade for Razor Ramon.



.....................................................................................
Zamboni Burning

--Eric P--


--Anonymous--


-- DRae --


-- Eric H. --


-Michael K--


Could it have been the blood from Gary Roberts' victims?

We're of the school of thought that somebody forgot to unload the bodies from the Zamboni in Sudden Death.

.............................................................

ANTHEM

--sh0ez--

--Theresa V--


--Michael K--


-- DRae --


-- BlackNGold66 --


-- Teej --


-- Greg Nardine --

.............................................................

After that long delay, it was time to drop the puck.
That delay in no way helped the garbage feeling surrounding this game.

After some play sponsored by Ambien, Ruutu goes to the box for interference.
And then he tries to start crap after the game, which buys him a 10-minute misconduct.

You could smell doom looming like it just farted in your face.
But Ty Conklin is flatulence-proof, making an unreal save after some unreal Sharks passing.
The penalty was killed.

The crowd came alive with that save, and the Pens started causing trouble in the Sharks zone.

In the Sens game, the Pens got the early PP's.
This game, it was San Jose with two quick chances, with Orpik going to the box.

Malkamania runs wild, killing off the last 25 seconds of the penalty.

Yet another penalty came later. Whitney for hooking.
Yet again, they kill it.

Talboot & Co. became a nuisance at the end of the period, but no dice.

We got out alive.

........................................................................

SECOND PERIOD

After a delay during the intermission, it was time to start up play again.
It was the Winter Classic all over again.

Snore, snore.
And then JFK draws a penalty.

When the penalty expired, Armstrong comes back and steals the puck from Thornton.
And then Army levels Cheechoo, evening up the karma stemming from November 2006.

Whitney takes his second penalty of the game when he jobs Patrick Marleau.
That penalty lasted like a year and a half, but it was finally killed.

Malkin grabbed the puck later and tried to go through the world, but it didn't happen.

Old NHLblog

Armstrong gets interefered with trying to get to a loose puck going into the Sharks zone.
PPblog.

The Pens looked like they had one, but it hits the post.
The Sharks turned it up on the PK, getting some solid chances on Conk, but no dice.
Another power play goes to the wayside.

Blah, blah. Save, save.

The second period comes to an end.

.................................................................

THIRD PERIOD

What a play by Cheechoo 3 minutes into the third period to put the Sharks up 1-0.

Whatev

It turned into dump-and-chase for a good while.

The Pens start pressing for the tying goal and get rewarded with a power play.
And just as you start cursing Therrien for putting Christensen on the PP, he one-times a Gonch pass into the net. 1-1.

Huge

After a lot of nothingness, Jonathan Cheechoo heads to the box for jobbing.
Huge power play commences.

Malkin ends up having to trip up a Shark, so the power play was done.
The Sharks eventually jump onto their own power play, but nothing happens there either.

Before the overtime, Bob Errey gives us a glimmer of hope when he makes a reference to Bret Hart.

Overtime again.

.......................................................................

OVERTIME

Back and forth it went, nonstop for most of the overtime.
But no dice.

...............................................................

SHOOTOUT

Christensen was up first.
He buries it. 1-0.

Some jobber was up next for the Sharks.
Goal. 1-1.

Letang had Nabby beat, but he couldn't lift it up.

It was Cheechoo's turn, and he buries it. 2-1.

Ruutu came down slower than Michel Ouellet and makes some unreal move. 2-2.

What a move.

Roenick was up. And there was no drama involved. Game.

See you Tuesday.

STATS

• Gonchar: 1A
• Conklin: Almost showed up in the shootout.
  

MISCELLANEOUS

• Trading deadline is Tuesday, 3:00 PM. Buckle up.
  
• It's no longer comical to Ruutu or the Pens bench when he buries it. They're all business.
• We found a wrestling pictures site on the internet. So just get ready
• Questionblog. Does anyone remember the Shark signs that the Penguins use to pass out before games? The Jaws music would play, just as the Pens would go on the Powerplay, and everyone would hold up the the sign. Can anyone find either video footage, or the sign itself?
  

......................................................................


-- WilSmith found this Yahoo NHL gaffe after the game --

GameDay (63) -- Sharks @ Pens

3:00



Back when the schedule came out in mid-summer, you saw this game in late February and thought, "How exotic. I bet that's gonna be on NBC or some crap."

Well, it's gonna be on FSN because Crosby is injured,
and because there's some big-deal golf thing on NBC.

All we can say about this game is that a 3-0 lead will never seem safe again.

You cannot job that which you do not know, so we have nothing to say about the Sharks.

.................................................................


That's all we got

A Series Of Unfortunate Events. PENS LOSE.

4 - 3

[ NHL.com RECAP ]

To be fair, all season long we haven't had a " stunned " loss.
Losing Bing wasn't fun, but we haven't had that signature kick in the ball/ovaries game for a while.

Ah, that feeling has returned.

A lot of things can be said.

But nothing you can do about it now.

Pens have one more point than they did yesterday, and Crosby and Roberts are a game closer.
..........................................................................
National Anthem

[Double R]


[Kris R]


[Brian]
.........................................

FIRST PERIOD

Luciano Pavarotti apparently came back from the dead to deliver the anthems.

Not even 30 seconds in, the Pens get it down deep, and Armstrong almost puts it home.

After an icing call, Armstrong gets another chance on a semi-breakaway.
He gets hooked up, and it was a solid no-call for a penalty shot.

The Senators look flat. Rumor has it they were up late.
A doorman at the Hilton said he saw a man leaving the team hotel very early this morning.
The man " had a beard," according to the doorman.

Is Charlie growing a beard for the playoffs?

It was time for the power play.
After the Sens get some pressure, Sykora comes busting out of the Pens zone.

The Sens decide it's still the '90s and shadow Malkin, leaving Sykora to walk all lone down the wing.
He unleashes a slapper from hell.

1-0.

Good shot, but still a soft goal.

Before you could fart, the Pens were on another power play.
All that happened on that one was Orange Shubert checking Staal from behind.

And after some more time, Dany Heatley gave the Pens a chance to get in the driver's seat when he hits Malkin with a high stick.
Just be glad it's not the other way around.
Malkin responds with a leg drop.

[Mike D]

The Heatley penalty was eventually killed after Sykora let loose a couple more blasts.

A 1-0 lead early like that was bad-ass, but another goal there would have been ideal.
-- That is the topnotch analysis we provide.

Sykora and Malkin had a sick chance, but Emery was there.
Conklin channeled Domink Hasek to make a save on the doorstep when things went the other way.

10 minutes had gone by, and it was already a fun game.

Sherbert hits another Penguin from behind.
This time, it was Taffe. And this time, it was a penalty.

Malkin was everywhere on the power play.
The Senators started pressuring him on the half-boards, and the power play evaporated.
Wait till Crosby gets back. Unreal.

1-for-4 on the power play is bad news.
The penalties were gonna be going the other way eventually.

Later, a clusterjoke behind the net leaves Conklin scrambling.
He flops like a fish and channels Mike Richter to make a big glove save.
The jury will always be out on whether that puck was going into the net.

After some more jobbing, Malkin had like a 4-minute shift.
And again, stuff happened, but no dice.

Jordan Staal was EVERYWHERE in the first period.
Jeff Taffe was also seen a good little bit.
What a period.

..........................................................................

SECOND PERIOD

Malkin made Emery crap himself early, but not too many people can one-time a saucer pass out of mid-air into the net.

After a couple minutes of solid but uneventful hockey, Armstrong breaks into the Sens zone out of nowhere.
Slapper.

2-0.

It's just good to see Colby Armstrong score goals.

After that goal, play was stopped so Pierre Maguire and Bob Errey could make out with each other.

Evgeni Malkin was on the ice again, and it looked like a power play.
Malkamania was running wild, stealing pucks, setting everyone up.
Even Lemieux unleashes a one-timer from the box.

But he could get that one great chance.
The Pens couldn't get him away from Chris Phillips who basically knew what kind of gum Malkin was chewing.

Big time defenseman.

Malkin shows his frustration by slamming his stick into the boards, breaking it.

Alfredsson gets the puck and turns into Roethlisberger, making an egregious turnover.
Staal and Laraque go the other way on a 2-on-0, but Staal takes it himself.

Emery stops him, but the underrated Jeff Taffe was there, waits a moment, and roofs it.

3-0.

The chants of EMMM-REE...EMMM-REE resonate in the Mellon.

However. The rest if the game is brought to you by the makers of the Hinderburgh.

The Senators got a shot in the arm when they capitalize on Conklin's second joke of the game.
They go to the War Room to look at the hand pass, but it counts.

3-1.

The Pens get a chance for retribution when Sherbert takes another moronic penalty.
But no dice on that power play.

The Mellon Arena was disturbingly silent after that first Sens goal.
So there's not even an adjective to describe the Arena after the Sens second goal.

3-2.

Malkin heads into the Ottawa zone and draws another penalty.
The Pens get the power play for the rest of the period.

Sadly, nothing else happened before the buzzer.
The third period is shaping up to be bad news.

.........................................................

THIRD PERIOD

Rob Scuderi goes to the box, and it was time for the Senators to totally deflate everyone.
That power play disappeared so fast.

That horrible feeling was still in the air after that power play.
It finally came to fruition when Dany Heatley is left all alone in front. He picks his spot.

3-3.

Joke aside, everytime Heatley touched the puck it was scary.

Picture: Senator Nation celebrates the big goal.

[Will Smith]

Everyone was looking for a bridge.

Staal and Army get a 2-on-1, which almost didn't happened because Staal was held.
Army misses the net on a slapper.

Shot, save, shot, save.
And then there was 4:00 left.

It got real with 2 minutes left.
Voljokov starts jobbing Malone.

The game slipped into overtime, and it was no consolation to say "Oh, we got a point." But whatever

....................................................................

OVERTIME

The Sens were all business early in the OT, but the Pens weathered it.

The Pens then got their chances for the next 4 minutes.

And then the Senators calmly entered the Pens zone with about 10 seconds left.
Loose puck.

Danny Alfredsson.

Game.

STATS

• Lemieux: 6 G

MISCELLANEOUS

• Tough loss, tough game tomorrow, welcome to the NHL
• Ray Emery is a joke
• Heatley is a beast.
• Jordan Staal deserves a goal.
• Whatev
  

GameDay (62) -- Sens @ Pens

3:00



Remember, remember, the end of November.

The Senators were 16 - 6 - 2.

The Penguins were 11 - 11 - 2.

FAST FORWARD
FEBRUARY 23, 2008

The Senators are 35 - 20 - 6

The Penguins are 35 - 21 - 5

FIRST PLACE IN THE EASTERN CONFERENCE IS AT STAKE.
But it's February, so it means nothing.

..................................................................

THE JURY HAS SPOKEN



........................................................................................

PENS NEWS

:: MAF won't be starting either game this weekend.
He has a WBS start on Saturday. Then will be recalled.

:: Crosby isn't back yet.
Get over it.

::The game is on FSN tomorrow.

Pierre McGuire, a former Penguins assistant and now a national color analyst, will join broadcasters Paul Steigerwald and Bob Errey after the first period and for the duration of the game today in the FSN Pittsburgh booth. [PG]

.....................................................................................

-- Wayne Gretzky was pretty busy on Friday.
On ESPN radio, he said that Zetterberg and Lecavalier are the two best players in the game.

He said it's because they are 27 and 28, giving them the advanatage of Bing, who is only 20.
Whatever that means.
[ There was an audio clip on ESPN.com, but you have to be an Insider ]

.............................................................

-- David Amber did his top-10 deadline trades of all time. [ ESPN ]
Francis and Ulf in '91 is #2


Dr. Mirtle broke down trading deadline trends. [ Mirtle ]

.........................................................................................................

We love any site whose name is The _ _ _ _ blog.com.
It's a fraternity.

[ TheJetsblog ] posted pictures of Nicaraguan people wearing the Patriots Super Bowl Champ shirts.


-- Thanks to Jason T. for this --

Does the NFL have any idea how many of these they could sell in the U.S.?
It is the ultimate job.

.......................................................................................................


"Flyers Need Help" [ Philly Inquirer ]

Joe Weir sent this in:


That's RJ Umberger, just in case.

That came from [ BigBenNews.com ], a site completely devoted to the actions of another human being.
They watch his every move in his personal and public life.

[ BigBatchNews ] responded by posting this pic on their blog:




Chris Simon has finished serving his Ruutu suspension.
He returned to Long Island ice and was met with boos. [ Newsday ]

............................................................................................
[PSAMP] had this up this week.
Check out what the dudes sign says.


.............................................................
Great pictures on the internet













Those are sick.
But Eric M sent this site in.
[Alvaro Montoya]

Check out the pictures in the left bottom corner.

..................................................................................

FEBRUARY 22, 1980...


...................................................................................

--Tom Beck--


Go Pens

Whatcha Gonna Do When Malkamania Runs Wild On You. PENS WIN.

5 - 4

[ NHL.com RECAP ]

What separates Evgeni Malkin from you?
He shut 21,000 people up in five seconds. You can't even get your dog to stop barking.

Some day, when we look back, we'll talk about the night they mocked his name in the Bell Centre, and how he came out of the box a man on fire.

It looked like another jobber game for the Penguins.
Another 4-1, 4-2 victory seemed to be in the cards.

But then the Habs woke up.
They scored three goals pretty quick, and it wasn't good.

We were soon captivated by one of the top three most-entertaining games of the season.
And it's good having the best player in the NHL on your team in that type of game.

And Crosby, too, when he comes back.
Wooo

...........................................................................

ANTHEM


-- Kaitlin C. --


-- Lana Maloney --

Three cheers for Lana, who sacrificed her last happy-hour drink in order to dominate traffic to get to the game in time for the anthems.

............................................................................................

FIRST PERIOD

Midway through the day Thursday, you got a text, heard during a Pittsburgh SportsCenter on ESPN Radio 1250, or just had a gut feeling...

Sabu was getting the start.

-- adam k. --

If you wanted to turn someone on to the game of hockey, show them the first 10 minutes of this game.
Easily the best skating of the season as both teams came out flying.

Jesse James made an appearance as he flew down the wing for the Pens. He got it in front to JFK, but no dice.
How fast was the JFK-Taffe-James line tonight? Unreal.

The Habs came right back though, as Smoke got a 2-on-1 chance.
Sabu says no dice, and the entire Montreal team rushes the net.
You already know what type of game this is going to be.

The teams would trade chances back and forth for the next 10 minutes.
It was highlighted by the Habs running a blog in the Pens zone.

But Brook Orpik destroyed Michael Ryder's life about eight times, and the Sabu stood tall.

Then class was in session.

Chemistry 101

Malkin and Sykora go nuts. Malkin makes a sick pass to Whitney.

1-0

The Canadians storm back, but Gonchar makes maybe the best defensive play of his Penguin career and takes the dude off the puck.

Of course the crowd goes nuts and wants a penalty. Learn the rules.

The crowd is further enraged when Jordan Staal gets taken down by that dude who got arrested last week.

Easy call.
The Montreal player tripped Staal.
The crowd goes insane.
Honestly, know the rules.

The ensuing powerplay was non-eventful until Kovy and Malkin tried to kill each other.
What a battle.

Things looked like they would go quietly into the second, but JFK stormed into the Habs zone. Pens get a bounce.

Ruutuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu delivers.
2-0

Huge goal.

Two-goal lead going into the second period.
Bad news.

........................................................................................

SECOND PERIOD

The second period started right where the first left off.
Montreal brought the pain early, but still good action.

Talbot fights that dirtbag that speared Crosby last year.
Clean fight, but Lapierre refuses to let it end, and gets 10 more minutes. Idiot.

Things just seemed to be going to well. And Montreal is fast as balls.
Sergei Tits is a beast. He beats Sydor to a loose puck.
Puck goes to Saku Jokiu.

2-1

Big goal for the Habs.
It got the crowd going. But then again, so do little boys.

But just before they were about to score again, someone high sticks someone.
Powerplay for the Penguins. And it was all business.

Malkin made a nice dish to Malone. Malone to Sykora.
Sykora tried the Whitney Play ™ but it got stopped.
However, Ryan Malone was there to bang it home.

3-1

Ryan Malone. Wow.

Things look to be cruising along. But that doesn't last long.
The refs need to call penalties so the Canadien crowd can stop whining.

Montreal's powerplay is intense.
Kovalev makes a pass we don't even need to talk about.

3-2.

Toward the end of period, things get chippy.
Guy Homobeau looks like he wants to fight someone.
If you forgot why you hate the Habs, now you remember.

...........................................................................................

THIRD PERIOD

We wait about 18 minutes for the third period to commence.

Michael Ryder swings around the net, comes out, shoots. 3-3.
Unreal.

The fairweather crowd comes alive on the tying goal.
Soon after, the Pens were heading to the box.

It had all the makings of a disaster.

Montreal set up the PP, but no dice.
So they decide to score on the rush.

Koivu gets into the zone, gets it over to Hamrlik.
One of the most deflating goals of the year. 4-3.

And with the crowd chanting, you started realizing the refs were gonna be afraid of this Montreal crowd.

Malkin gets tripped up, but no call. He gets Komisarek in the face. Penalty.

This Malkin penalty is brought to you by...


-- Greg H. --

The crowd starting chanting....

MALLLLLL-KIN
MALLLLLL-KIN
MALLLLLL-KIN
MALLLLLL-KIN

These are the same people who chased the best goaltender of all-time out of town.

[ See Tremblay and Le Trade ]

On the ensuing power play, Staal gets accosted, but somehow there was no penalty called.

Not a penalty in Montreal

Michael Ryder leaves Daryl Sydor writhing in pain on the ice after a check.

You want to talk classless?
Who chants while a guy is lying on the ice, injured?
The Bell Centre probably would have played Celebrate Good Times if the Zednik incident happened up there.

While Malkin was sitting in the box during that penalty, he reaches for his own personal Mario switch.

Malkin gets out of the box, and it was already tied.
Komisarek was trying to wipe his butt, letting Malkin get past him with ease to receive the Malone pass on a quick little breakaway.

4-4.
Komisarek =Stunned
Eat it.

The Bell Centre turns silent.

By that time, the Montreal fans knew the Habs were out of control.
It was reaffirmed when they take a stupid penalty, feeding the Pens momentum.

About 8 seconds later, Malkin captains the power play.
It gets to the point.
Gonchar from way downtown. 5-4.

[Dukes of Russia]
--Nicholas S--

What a way to get your 600th point for Gonch.

What followed was some great hockey, with the Habs missing a wide-open net.

If you are able to, give yourself an honest answer to this question:
Which Penguin goalie would make you feel most comfortable headed down the stretch of a one-goal game in the third period?

The Habs ruin thir chances of a comeback with another stupid penalty.
Hamrlik leaves his feet and throws the elbow into Armstrong's face.

The Pens couldn't bang it home, setting up an insane final 5 minutes.

The Pens get it deep and start running out the clock.
Out of nowhere, there was 1:20 left.

It was time to pull Huet.
After a scary icing call, the Habs had to regroup.

And there was ...

NOOOOOOOOOOOO doubt about it.

Game.

STATS

• Malkin: 1 G, 2 A
• Malone: 1 G, 1 A
• Whitney: 1 G, 2 A
• Gonch: 600th point
  
• Syko: 2 A
  
• Sabu: 17 saves on 21 shots. Pens win the shot total: 30-21
  

MISCELLANEOUS

• Montreal is a solid hockey team, no question about it.
• Rooooooooooo2
• It's been real, Dany Sabs. Thanks for that win in Vancouver.
  
• Solid defense from Letang.
• Huge weekend ahead.
  

-- Kevin Eck --

Art Ross City

GameDay (61) -- Pens @ Canadians

7:30 pm

Do it.

[Jferrante]

Law & Order: Pensblog Unit -- Fleury vs. Conklin

Ralph Iannotti here, standing outside Allegheny County Courthouse,
awaiting the beginning of the Trial of the Season.

The litigants walked past me into the courtroom just a few minutes ago.
Neither man or his respective representation chose to comment as Judge Charlie stood in between them.



A jury of Pensblog readers has been sitting in the jury room since early this afternoon at Judge Charlie's orders, in an attempt to remove them from any media influence.

We have learned from The Pensblog that they have chosen certain e-mails as opening and closing statements.
They want to emphasize that they are showing no favor to anyone.

You will be able to see for yourself that all e-mails were unreal.
You can read all of the jurors' e-mails in the closing statements.

Wait a minute, folks.

Mr. Lowe! Mr. Lowe!
Mr. Lowe, what is your interest in this trial?



Lowe: We used to have Conklin.
We are prepared to extend an offer sheet to him following the trial.

Iannotti: So, you are staking yourself in the Conklin camp?

Lowe: Of course.
How much is KDKA paying you?

Iannotti: Well --

Lowe: I'll double it.
Talk to you after the trial.
[ Walks into courthouse ]



Well, Mr. Lowe just made his way into the courtroom,
and the constables have locked the doors behind him.

It looks like we're about to get under way.
We'll send you into the courtroom.

.......................................................................................


ALL RISE! The Honorable Judge Pensblog Charlie presiding.


PLEASE BE SEATED.
WATCH YOUR BUTTS.

THIS IS CASE NUMBER 6687ROBERTS108771 IN THE DOCKET.
THE PEOPLE VS. TY CONKLIN.

MRS. BROCKOVICH, YOU ARE REPRESENTING MARC-ANDRE FLEURY.
DO YOU CARE TO MAKE AN OPENING STATEMENT?



EB -- Yes, your honor.

Ladies and Gentlemen of the Jury,
I come to you not as a lawyer, but as a fan.

Today you are left with one simple task -- to sort through all the useless facts that Marty the Chicken will fill your heads with, and come to one decision.
Who should the Pittsburgh Penguins starting goalie be?

The facts of the case are these.


Marc-Andre Fleury was the starting goaltending for the Pittsburgh Penguins.
He then was injured. Mr. Conklin has since stolen the job from MAF.

I can't tell you what to believe. I can only tell you how I and many others feel.
I received an e-mail I had to share from a Marc-Andre Fleury fan.

As counsel for Fleury, you must contend that no man should lose his job because of injury. It is a well known canon within the hockey world and should apply here. Fleury is the goalie of the Pittsburgh Penguins and a person whom we have invested considerable money and resources into. While the work of Conklin has been tremendous, it is not sufficient to deny the Penguins' goalie his job.

Ladies and Gentleman. That was from Josh M., a Marc-Andre Fleury supporter.
In the course of this trial, I will prove that very e-mail true.


THANK YOU, MRS. BROCKOVICH.

AND, MRS. BROCKOVICH,
DON'T THINK DRESSING LIKE THAT WILL WIN YOU POINTS IN THIS COURTROOM.

MARTY THE CHICKEN, DO YOU WISH TO MAKE AN OPENING STATEMENT?


MC-- Yes, your homoness.

Ladies, Gentlemen, and fellow chickens.

What is that smell? Do you smell it? It is my client. And he smells like victory.
My client has worked hard. He has given everything to the Pittsburgh Penguins.
He has made them winners this season.

And while Erin Joke-ovich will cloud your minds with her breasts and false claims,
I demand you to listen your hearts, to your minds.

Can you say Ty Conklin doesn't belong in that net?
You can't, can you?

The following is from Jesse at [Faceoff Factor]

And I, too, can pull out the same tricks as Erin Breastovich.

To get an appreciation of where Ty Conklin is, you have to look at where he's come from. We're talking about a guy that didn't even play during he lockeout, came in the "new" NHL rusty, and then had a major gaffe that cose his team a goal in the Stanley Cup Finals.
Most goalies would struggle to recover from that. What Makes Ty Conklin so invaluable is his ability to constantly make the routine save, control the rebound, and play the puck.
Those waiting for Conklin to come back to earth. Don't hold your breathe.
Ty Conklin is averaging .46 goals against less than the average. He is also first in S%. Someting Fleury knows nothing about.

Right there, folks.
That is all you need to know.

Nothing more, your gayness.

THANK YOU, MR. CHICKEN.

THE PEOPLE MAY CALL THEIR FIRST WITNESS.

EB -- YOUR HONOR, THE PEOPLE CALL GILLES MELOCHE TO THE STAND.

.....................................................................


Place your right hand on the Ice-Time Program.

Do you swear that the testimony you are about to give in this courtroom is the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help you Roberts?


Oui.

YOU MAY PROCEED

EB-- Please state your name and occupation for the court, please.
GM-- My name iz Gilles Meloche, goaltending coach for the Pizzburgh Panguin.
EB-- Mr. Meloche, we could delve into your storied career as an NHL netminder, but that is not what is on trial today.
Would you please tell the court your impression of my client, having worked with him for the past two years?
GM-- Well, I took him under my wing when I waz hired by ze Panguin. He had already zeen hiz fair share of NHL ice time by then. In the time I have known him, Monseiur Fluree has blozzomed into a top-flight NHL goaltender.
EB-- What was his record last season?
GM-- 40-16-9. A goalz against of 2.86, and a save perzentage of .906.
EB-- Is this your first stint as the Penguins goalie coach?
GM-- Non. I waz hired in ze 1989 zeazon as ze Panguin goalie coach and held that pozition until ze lockout zeazon of 2004-2005.
EB-- 1989? Was there a still-developing goaltender under your tutelage during that time?
GM-- Yez, you can zay that. It was Tom Barrazzo.
EB-- Oh. What happened a mere two years later after working with Tom Barrasso?
GM-- The Penguin won back-to-back Stanley Cup Championsheeps.
EB-- Could you see this happening again with young Mr. Fleury?
GM-- Abzolutely.
EB-- Your witness.

MC-- Mr. Meloche.
GM-- B-b-bonjour.
MC-- Are you nervous talking to a chicken?
GM-- Non.
MC-- While working with MAF, you have also worked with Ty Conklin, correct?
GM-- Oui.
MC-- What is your take on the man?
GM-- I feel he haz kept ze Penguin above ze water while waiting for Mr. Fluree to return.
MC-- How would you rate his goaltending performance?
GM-- Above average.
MC-- 16-4-3, .932 save percentage over 25 games. Above average?
GM-- Yez, that eez ze definition. He eez better zen average.
MC-- Do you feel Mr. Fleury would have done any better than Mr. Conklin during this recent stretch?
GM-- It iz pozzible to improve on zat record.
MC-- SIGH. No further questions.

MRS. BROCKOVICH?

EB-- Mr. Meloche, esteemed goaltending legend and goaltending coach in the NHL, who gets your vote for #1 goaltender of the 2007-2008 Pittsburgh Penguins?
GM-- Mr. Marc-Andre Fluree.
EB-- No further questions.

YOU MAY STEP DOWN.
CALL YOUR NEXT WITNESS.

-- THE PEOPLE CALL MARK MADDEN TO THE STAND.

..........................................................................


Oath stuff.


I do.

EB-- Name and occupation.
MM-- Mark Madden, sports-radio talk-show host on ESPN Radio 1250. I have covered the Penguins for the better part of 15 years.
EB-- What was your advice to the Penguins as they headed into the 2003 draft with #1 overall pick?
MM-- "Take the goalie," referring to Marc-Andre Fleury.
EB-- Do you still stand by that?
MM-- Absolutely, chico.
EB-- What is your expert opinion on Ty Conklin?
MM-- He is a curtain-jerker, a flash in the pan.
MM-- Your witness.

MC-- Mr. John Madden...
MM-- Mark.
MC-- Yeah. What was your occupation before becoming a talk-show host and hockey specialist in the field of journalism?
MM-- I worked as a color commentator and magazine writer for professional wrestling.
MC-- No further questions.

YOU MAY STEP DOWN.

-- THE PEOPLE CALL CRAIG PATRICK TO THE STAND.

............................................................................


BLAH


I Do

EB-- Name and occupation.
CP-- Craig Patrick, and I don't know.
EB-- The court is aware of your Hall of Fame status as a hockey general manager.
CP-- I would assume so.
EB-- What did you do with your first-ever #1 overall pick as Penguins general manager?
CP-- I drafted Marc-Andre Fleury in 2003.
EB-- Your witness.

MC-- Mr. Patrick, first off, thank you for the two Cups in 1991 and 1992.
CP-- No problem.
MC-- But, gee, that was a long time ago, was it not?
CP-- It's all relative.
MC-- Whatev. Would you mind sharing with the court your draft choices since the 1995 season which in fact resulted in "winning" that #1-overall pick in 2003?

-- Craig Patrick vomits.

THE WITNESS IS EXCUSED. STRIKE HIS TESTIMONY FROM THE RECORD.
CALL YOUR NEXT WITNESS.

-- THE PEOPLE CALL ROD BRIND'AMOUR TO THE STAND.

................................................................................


You suck.


I do.

EB-- Name and occupation.
RB-- Rod Brind'Amour, Carolina Hurricanes forward.
EB-- We can make this short and sweet. Describe the events that transpired on June 5, 2006.
RB-- Ty Conklin relieved Oilers starter Dwayne Roloson late in Game 1 of the Stanley Cup Finals.
EB-- Stop there. Your homoness, we would like to enter video of the event in question as Exhibit "A".

MC-- Objection. This video wasn't on the list.
EB-- Your homoness, no one wants to look at Mr. Brind'Amour longer than absolutely necessary.

I'LL ALLOW IT

EB-- No further questions.
MC-- Stunned. I don't even want to talk to this clown.

--THE PEOPLE CALL "LOSER CHRIS" TO STAND

......................................

WHO?

EB-- Name and occupation.
LC-- My name is Chris. I run [ Taking one for the Team] and follow the career of MAF very closely.
EB-- Chris, should the Penguins goaltending job go back to MAF once he returns?
LC-- Not to take away from what Conk has meant to the Pens the last couple months, but MAF needs to play when he comes back. As things currently stand Conk may be the better option in net, but MAF has shown to have a higher ceiling when he gets hot and could easily outperform Conk if given the opportunity to play consistent minutes.
EB--In your expert opinion, does this decision loom large?

MC-Larger than your breasts. Come on.

[Gasp]

MR. CHICKEN, ONE MORE OUTBURST LIKE THAT,
AND YOU'RE GOING TO BE EATEN FOR LUNCH.

LOSER CHRIS, PLEASE ANSWER.

LC-- Looking beyond this year it becomes even more obvious that MAF needs to be given his fair share of minutes between the pipes for the Pens. MAF is poised to be the long term answer in goal for the Penguins, something that probably can't be said for Conk, but the front office needs to make a real assessment of just what they have in MAF and they need to do it now.

EB-- Your witness.

MC-Chris, you are known as a MAF apologist. Just say it. You hate Ty Conklin. He should be relegated to backup.

EB-- OBJECTION, DON'T ANSWER THAT!
MC-Chris, ADMIT IT!

EB-- OBJECTION!
MC-ADMIT IT, DAMMIT!!!
EB-- NOOOOO!!!
LC-- YES, HE DESERVES TO BE THE #2 GUY, AND I HOPE HE BURNS IN HELL!
MC-Owned.

CHICKEN, YOU'RE ON THIN ICE.
MRS. BROCKOVICH, CALL YOUR NEXT WITNESS.

EB-- YOUR HONOR, THE PROSECUTION RESTS.

...............................................................................

MR. MARTY THE CHICKEN, THE DEFENSE MAY CALL THEIR FIRST WITNESS.

MC-- YOUR HONOR, THE DEFENSE CALLS DR. JAMES MIRTLE TO THE STAND.


Do you swear on [ Mirtle.blogspot.com ] that the testimony you're about to give in this courtroom is the absolute truth?


I do.

MC-- Name and occupation.
JM-- James Mirtle. I work at the sports desk at The Globe and Mail and have been blogging hockey on the internet since 2004.
MC-- Rather than meandering through countless questions, can you give us your take on the Fleury vs. Conklin debate?

-- The bottom line in the Conklin-Fleury debate
is that the team has simply played better with Conklin in goal.

They've scored more goals, at even strength and on the power play.
They've allowed fewer goals, despite having more shots against at even strength.

And, as a result, they've won far more games.

Bring Fleury into the fold, but ride the hot hand. And if Conklin wavers under pressure, as he's known to do [ see Exhibit "A" ] , at least now you've got a reasonable option to bring in.

I've prepared a document in spreadsheet form comparing the stats.

MC-- Your witness.

EB-- Mr. Mirtle, where is The Globe and Mail located?
JM-- Toronto, Ontario, Canada.
EB-- Your honor, given the brevity of the hockey atmosphere in Toronto, we move to strike the testimony of this witness off the record due to the mental anguish he has been exposed to as a probable fan of the Toronto Maple Leafs.
His emotional state in regards to hockey makes his opinion unreliable.

I'LL ALLOW THE WITNESS

EB-- Your honor, I strenuously object. Mr. Mirtle cannot be relied on, since he has most likely not watched every Penguins game.

THE WITNESS IS AN EXPERT, AND THE COURT WILL HEAR HIS OPINION.

EB-- Fine. Nothing more.

MC-- Mr. Mirtle, in your expert, sports-journalism opinion, who gets the nod?
JM-- Stick with Conk. Bring Fleury into the fold, as you will have a reasonable option to bring in if Conklin falters.
MC-- No further questions.

CALL YOUR NEXT WITNESS.

-- THE DEFENSE CALLS GREG WYSHYNSKI.

.......................................................................


Whatev.


Woooo

MC-- Name and occupation.

GW-- Greg Wyshynski, writer for Fanhouse, Deadspin, as well as a respected voice in the internet hockey community.
MC-- We don't want to take up much of your time. What is your stance on this situation?

GW--------- There comes a point when you have to drop the log or get off the throne. And I decided to drop the log on ConkBlock within the last two weeks. He's the real deal, and he's actually playing better now than he was during his hottest streak -- even in those nights when he's like Elvin Hayes with the rebound totals.

I read a columnist is the (nice) Beaver County Times recently who said that if Conklin falters, MAF will return as the "rightful No. 1 goalie." Maybe he was "rightful" last year, and maybe he'll be "rightful" next year, but this is Conklin's team. He fits too well within the system they're playing to still consider him a placeholder. Sometimes the right guy finds the right fit in the right system; and that's how Kurt Warner has a Super Bowl ring.

So it is with a heavy heart that I concede Conklin is for real and, barring a complete reversal of fortune before the postseason, the "rightful" goalie for the Pens. I do so mourning the fact that I much prefer the derogatory "ConkSuck" to "ConkBlock," and the reality that these 24 quality games for Pittsburgh all but clear his name as a postseason laughingstock for that goof in the Finals. I'm especially sad about losing that latter go-to punchline; it's like when the Rangers stole 1940 from the masses by winning the Cup.

MC-- Your witness. Bitch.

EB-- No questions, your honor.

CALL YOUR NEXT WITNESS.

-- THE DEFENSE CALLS MARC-ANDRE FLEURY'S FORMER WATER BOTTLE.

........................................................................

Do you swear to tell the truth, so help you Roberts?


-Spits in Bull's face-

ORDER! ORDER! MR. BOTTLE, YOU WILL BEHAVE IN MY COURTROOM!

MC-- Name and occupation.
WB-- Mr. W. Bottle, unemployed.
MC-- Please, sir, describe your affiliation with the plaintiff.
WB-- I was Mr. Fleury's water bottle, from his days playing for Cape Breton until the Game 5 loss to the Senators last year, after which, I abruptly quit.
MC-- Why?
WB-- He commits to his butterfly stance too early. He gets beaten over his shoulder, and the only place for the puck to go is right into my face. The book is out on him.
MC-- Why didn't you quit earlier in the season?
WB-- I'll admit. I had faith in Meloche turning Fleury around.
MC-- No further questions.

EB-- Mr. Bottle, you had faith in Meloche turning Fleury around?
WB-- Yes, ma'am, but it just didn't happen.
EB-- Oh? Does a one-season, 27-win improvement constitute as a turn-around?
WB-- Well...
EB-- Does a 0.42 improvement in GAA constitute as improvement?
WB-- But...
EB-- A playoff appearance?
Please the court, we are not putting Gilles Meloche's coaching ability on trial. We are simply showing that Marc-Andre Fleury is rapidly turning into the franchise goaltender.
No further questions. Joke.

DEFENSE?

MC-- Am I a chicken talking to a water bottle?

YOU MAY STEP DOWN. CALL YOUR NEXT WITNESS.

-- THE DEFENSE CALLS DANA HEINZE,
EQUIPMENT MANAGER FOR THE PITTSBURGH PENGUINS.

................................................................................

I quit

All right.

MC-- Name and occupation.
DH-- You just said it.
MC-- Right. You've no doubt gained a knowledge of the equipment habits of Mr. Fleury, correct?
DH-- That is true.
MC-- We must now make the court aware that during Fleury's layoff, he has switched from his trademark yellow equipment to white equipment.
Any reason for this, Mr. Heinze?
DH-- Yes, he's been given advice by specialists that yellow pads give shooters the illusion that they have more net to shoot at.
MC-- I see. It has nothing to do with an apparent weight gain during his injury layoff?
DH-- Excuse me?
MC-- Your honor, we have a witness, a sports-medicine specialist, who can verify that Fleury's switch to white pads is a result of his lackadasical training regimen during his rehab.
His yellow pads simply are too small now after his weightgain.

EB-- I object. Your honor, we have Mr. Fleury's yellow equipment with us. If it pleases the court, we can simply have him try on his equipment in the courtroom.

I'LL ALLOW IT.
MR. HEINZE, PLEASE ASSIST THE PLAINTIFF.


[ Spectators gasp ]

MC-- It doesn't fit!

ORDER! ORDER! ORDER!

MC-- Mr. Heinze, can you explain that?
DH-- Yes, actually. His equipment has shrunk due to the enormous amounts of sweat protruding from the sweat glands of his gleaming bodice during his extensive rehab sessions.

MR. HEINZE, DO YOU, UH, HAVE A PICTURE OF THAT?

DH-- No, your honor.
MC-- This courtroom is a sham!

SILENCE! THE WITNESS IS EXCUSED! ANY MORE WITNESSES?

MC-- YES.
THE DEFENSE CALLS JASON SPEZZA, DANIEL ALFREDSSON, AND DANY HEATLEY.

..............................................................................


ORDER! THIS COURTROOM IS NOW IN RECESS.
I MUST CONFER WITH THESE THREE GENTLEMEN IN MY CHAMBERS.


............................................................................................

20 MINUTES LATER...

MC- Your honor, we call our final witness. Lord Michel Therrien.
EB--Your Honor, this man was not on the list.
MC--Rebuttal witnesses, Your Honor, called specifically to refute testimony offered under direct examination.

I'LL ALLOW THE WITNESS

.............................................


Do it

I DO.

MT--This ridiculous.

MC--Coach, a moment ago we spoke of playing time--
MT--Check Ice-Time Log, for christ's sake.
MC-- We'll get to the forwards in just a minute, sir. A moment ago said that you ordered Conklin to go into the game and make incredible Saves, or his spot would be in grave danger.
MT-- That's right
MC-- And Conklin was clear on what you wanted?
MT--Cryss-al
MC--Any chance Conklin ignored the order?
MT--Ignore the order?
MC--Any chance he just forgot about it?
MT--NO
MC--Any chance Conklin left your office and said, "The 'old man's wrong"?
MT--NO
MC--When Conklin spoke to the team and Told them he would play the puck and help the defense, any chance they ignored him?
MT--Has you ever spent time in a team huddle, son?
MC-- I am a chicken, sir.
MT--Ever ran conditioning drill with Gilles?
MC-- Once again, sir, I am a chicken.
MT--Ever have your ass chewed out by me for playing soff?
MC-- No sir.
MT--We follow order, son. We follow order or goals are scored against. It'ss that simple. Are we clear?
MC-- Yes Sir. (mocking) Crys-sal.
MC--Coach, I have just one more question. If you gave an order that Conklin was to be such an incredible goalie, and your orders are always followed, then why would you be sending MAF down to WB/S so soon for a quick rehab so to return so quickly?
MT-- Ty Conklin is a sub-standard goalie. He was being switched in and out with Sabourin because of the Fleury injury--
MC--But that's not what you said. You said he better make incredible saves or his position is in grave danger.
MT--(pause)
Yes. That's correct, but-
MC--You said, "His spot was in danger". I said,
"Grave danger". You said--
MT--Yes, I recall what-
MC-- I can have the Court Reporter read back your--
MT-- I know what I said. I don't need it read back to me like I'm a damn--
MC--Then why the two orders? Coach? Why did you?
MT--Sometimes the goalie take matter into their own hand.
MC-- No sir. You made it clear just a moment ago that your men never take matters into
their own hands. Your men follow orders or goals are scored against. So Conklin’s position shouldn't have been in any danger at all, should he have, Coach?
MT-- You little bastard.

EB--Your Honor, I have to ask for a recess to--

THE COURT'LL WAIT FOR THE ANSWER

MC--If Meloche told his men that Conklin’s position was not in danger, then why are you rushing MAF’s return? Coach?
MT-- [SAYS NOTHING]
MC--Conklin turned this season around, didn't he? Because that's what you told Conklin to do.

EB-- Objection!
MC--And when he gave up a bad goal on a rebound againstFlorida, you thought about cutting him, didn’t you?

EB-- Your honor!

THAT'LL BE ALL, COUNSEL

MC--You had Shero sign a phony waiver order--

EB-- Judge!
MC--You doctored the Ice-Time books.
EB-- Dammit Marty!

MC-- I'll ask for the fourth time. You ordered--
MT--You want answers?
MC--I think I'm entitled to them.
MT--You want answers?!
MC-- I want the truth.
MT--You can't handle the truth!
MT--Son, we play on a rink that has nets. And those nets have to be guarded by men with masks. Who's gonna do it? You? You, Charlie? I have a greater responsibility than you can possibly fathom. You weep for Fleury and you curse the high-ankle sprains.
You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know: That Conklin’s play, while remarkable, can’t be sustained in the playoffs. And my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, puts people in the seats. You don't want the truth because deep down in places you don't talk about at parties, you want me on that bench, you need me on that bench. We use words like poke check, rebound control, glove save. We use these words as the backbone of a life spent defending something. You use them as a punchline. I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a chicken who rises and sleeps under the blanket of the very entertainment that I provide, and then questions the manner in which I provide it. I would rather you just said thank you, and went on your way, Otherwise, I suggest you pick up a set of goal pads, and stand between the posts. Either way, I don't give a damn what you think you are entitled to.

MC- We rest our case.


WOW.

WE MUST NOW SHIFT OUR ATTENTION TO USER-SUBMITTED E-MAILS,
AS THEY WILL BE THE CLOSING STATEMENTS.

MARC-ANDRE FLEURY PROMOTERS, CLOSING STATEMENT?

[ Pensblog readers in MAF's Camp ]

TY CONKLIN SUPPORTERS, CLOSING STATEMENT?

[ Pensblog readers in Ty Conklin's camp ]

THIS COURT WILL NOW ADJOURN.
THE JURY WILL RETIRE TO THEIR QUARTERS AND REACH A VERDICT.

..................................................................................



Go Pens

The Trial Of Ty Conklin vs Marc-Andre Fleury

This has been a source of great debate.
MAF vs Conklin, once MAF returns from being hurt.

So, tonight we are taking it into the courtroom.

Conklin vs MAF



The honorable Judge Charlie will preside.

Now, expert witnesses have already been called. But we will still need some character witnesses.

You can email us at [thepensblog@gmail.com] to tell us what you think.

We can't use everyone's statements, but we will use the best that get set in, between now and midnight. Keep them to about a paragraph or so.


In this case. Fleury will be considered the plantiff.
Conklin will be the defendant.

Comeback City. PENS WIN.

3 - 2

[ NHL.com RECAP ]

After two periods, the Pens weren't making the playoffs.

After three periods, Evgeni Malkin was in the driver's seat for the Art Ross Trophy, and the Pens could smell first place in the Eastern Conference.

Who gets the most praise for this win?

Someone who took control in the third period?
Or someone who was spent the night keeping the Pens in the hunt?

The Evgeni Malkin MVP talk has officially begun.

Where would the Penguins be without him?
It's the definition of the most valuable player.

....................................................................

PRE-GAME


--brad berk--

......................................................

National Anthem


--Aaron S.--


--Joe F.--

.........................................................

FIRST PERIOD

The Pens were the Nation of Domination early on, but they couldn't get a shot off.

Florida comes up for air and ends up going on the PP.
But the Pens kill that off soundly.

Soon after, Malkin slithered through the neutral zone and Florida defensemen, but instead of trying to snipe it in, he passes it to the Panthers.
A Penguin came flying in to get a shot off, though.

Jassen Cullimore grabs Army, putting the Pens on their own PP.
They set up shop, get shots off, but no dice.
Florida's PK is money.

After some skullduggery, Army jobs a Panther waiting to one-time it at Conk.
Another big PP for the Panthers.

Did someone say big PP

In his own zone, Ryan Whitney makes an unreal mistake by trying to fire it though the slot, and it went right to a Panther.
But it was Conkblock all day.

If you want to know why Ty Conklin is a big deal, look at the dump-in by the Panthers right after that Malkin shorthanded chance.
It was a soft Murphy dump that Ryan Whitney was gonna have to chase into the corner.
But Conklin knocks it down for him before it crosses the goal line, and Whitney was able to get it out of zone unmolested.

Fleury doesn't make that play.
We're not jobbing MAF.
We're just noting the advantage of having a puck-moving goalie back there.

The Pens ended up killing the penalty off, and Malkin's line essentially played the next four shifts of the game.

The Panthers came out of nowhere and scored a goal.

David Wilkes Booth. 1-0.

Right after the faceoff, Tyler Kennedy takes Booth's goal personally.
He drops the gloves with him and beats him with fists, but only gets a roughing penalty.

Booth got a roughing penalty, but TK got tacked on with an extra cross-checking penalty.
No one knows what got into Kennedy.

During the PK, Olli Jokinen was banging away at a loose puck in front of Conklin all by himself.
Instead of laying him out and making him pay the price, Scuderi just hacks down on his stick.
The puck was cleared and the penalty was killed, though, so whatev.

Considering it's the Florida Panthers, the first period had some pretty good hockey.
Panther fans didn't get to see much of the first period, after another Matlock marathon ran long.

Picture: Matlock is smiling because his diaper is full.

..........................................................

SECOND PERIOD

Malkin comes out with all systems go and draws a penalty.
The Panthers PK was still beastly.

Malkin stays on after the powerplay and almost generates a goal after dominating on the boards.
It is safe to say Geno was on PCP.

--Dr. J Schiff--

The first 9 minutes of the second period came and went.
Solid hockey.

Gonchar carried it into the Panthers zone, and it was bad news bears when a Panther got sprung on a breakaway.
Conk cooly knocked the shot away.

Finally, the crowd was alive...just in time for a commercial.

Malkin went nuts again on his next shift.
Just an unreal display. But no goal.

David Booth was headed to the sin bin.
On his way to the box, he cries, "Sic semper Malkinnis."

--Kayla--
Why does that guy just point at Booth defiantly?
How about doing something?

If you play with fire, your get kicked in the groin.
The Panthers get their 8th solid chance of the period, and they finally put it home.

2-0.

What a PK.

Later, the Pens finally became the beneficiary of the goalie delay-of-game penalty.
It was an unreal opportunity.

Dump, cleared. Dump, cleared. Dump, cleared.

Then the Pens get another power play.

Dump, cleared. Dump, cleared. Dump, cleared.

Therrien wonders who this guy is in front of him.

........................................................................

THIRD PERIOD

The Pens had 20-some seconds of power play to work with to start the third.
Like it mattered.

Eventually, Staal gets sent to the box.
The Pens kill it off.

And then it happened.
Malkin carries it in. We see Staal sprinting out of the box.
The puck goes to Armstrong in the high slot. Slapper. Lives change.

2-1.

Some of those Conklin saves earlier in the game become huge.

And then it got interesting.
Malkin heads towards the net from the near boards and gets slashed.

The puck goes off Malkin's stick as a result, and he dives for it, trying to bat the puck towards the net.
It couldn't be more obvious that's what he was trying to do.

Bob Errey the Malkin Hater can't see that. Watch the replay, pickle man.
The ref can't see it, either.
Maybe the worst call of the season.

The Panther player gets a slashing penalty; not a tripping penalty.
None of that made sense at all.

By the time Malkin came out of the box, Father Time was in the building.
You could smell the Penguins tying it up, though.

It was just a matter of whether or not the Panthers could survive the onslaught.

And there it was.

Malkin, who has come to deliver the Lemieux moment a little more than some other big deal in Pittsburgh, was possessed.

He gets to all the loose pucks, floats one to Ryan Whitney.
Ryan Malone deflects. 2-2.

-- 9:55 PM --

EVGENI MALKIN SITS ALONE ATOP THE NHL POINTS RACE.

And then it got scary, as the Panthers started pressing.
They finally realized that they had gotten complacent.

With just over a minute left, Malkin gets hauled down trying to get into the Panthers zone.
Gotta call that penalty. Case closed.

The Penguins ice crew may have pulled a New England Patriot and fixed the glass, buying the Pens big guns some time before starting their powerplay.

The Pens looked like they were gonna get at least a point going into OT.
But Ryan Malone decides it's time to dominate.

He does the power move to the net.
No one knows what happens.

You see the ref pointing. 3-2.

The War Room gets another call. It stands.
Florida's PK sucks.

The Panthers pull a stunned Tomas Vokoun, but it doesn't matter.

Game.

STATS

• Malkin: 2 A
• Malone: 2 G
  
• Army: 1 G
• Conk: 27 saves, 1 A

MISCELLANEOUS

• Ty Freakin' Conklin.
• Florida Panthers have blown two 2-goal third-period leads in the past week. Brutal.
• We still are waiting for the best player in the world to return.
• Big showdown in Montreal on Thursday. Next 3 22 games are insane.
• Two points like these will help somewhere down the line.

GameDay (60) -- Panthers @ Pens

7:30

TV:
FSN

Radio:
[ WXDX ]




The Panthers fall in line with their geographical position.
Next to the bottom in the Eastern Conference.

Definitely not a jobber game, since the Panthers are only like 4 points from the top spot in the Southeast Division.

Sidney Crosby isn't playing tonight, which is no surprise.
Christensen's out till next week sometime.

Conk in net.


-- Eric M. --

Tomas Vokoun is a maniac.
We get to see his antics again.

..........................................................


It's a go.

It Ain't Over

-- WilSmith --

Operation Pittsburgh Screwjob commences Tuesday.


ssshhhhhh
............................................................................

PENS

Sidney Crosby is practicing.
That's all there is to know.

The Pens are getting secondary and third-ary scoring. [ PG ]


-- N. Streets --

It's coming.

MAF had another solid outing down on the farm. [Wilkes-Barre]

Wilkes-Barre Insider says MAF went with the yellow pads. [Baby Penguins Insider]


............................................................................

That midseason lull between ASG and the trading deadline is quickly coming to an end.


The NHL GMs have begun meetings. [ TSN ]

They are talking trades, but they're also talking about other crap, like making penalties in overtime 1 minute instead of 2 minutes.

Brian Burke will most likely say something stupid.

........................................................................................


Ladies and gentlemen, your Philadelphia Flyers.
Losers of 7 straight. [ TSN ]


--Nick E -- --sh0ez--

They were dealt another blow when they overhyped Peter Forsberg is leaning towards not coming back to the NHL. [ TSN ]


Another team on the suck was the Detroit Red Wings.
They finally won a game after losing 6 straight. [ Yahoo ]

It was the first time since the '90s that they lost 3 straight at home or something.


The Joe Louis faithful react to the losing streak.


Rob Blake says he wants to stay in Los Angeles. [ TSN ]
Interesting. So does every other NHL team.

......................................................................
Links

::[Puckthathit] takes a look at shots on net.
Solid read.

::[TheOnDeckCircle] writes a letter to 66.

::[Mirtle M.D] has some nice stats on goal scoring.

.........................................


--KJ--

So Mark Recchi gave us all a headache.
But now, thanks to his brother, we can all have a good laugh.

Double A aka "Fleury29" found this.

[Matt Recchi Voiceover Commercial]

The ending sounds like a terrorist message.
This is easily the best part of this post.

Which is sad.

...........................................

Go Pens

Mayor Conklin. PENS WIN.

4 - 1
[ NHL.com RECAP ]

Since Pittsburgh teams have the propensity of losing on Sunday,

this game had letdown written all over it.

The last time the Pens visited Buffalo, the nation was watching.
This time around, eh, not so much.


One day if you ever need to write a thesis paper on big-time regular-season goaltending performances, this game would be your first.

Ty Conklin not only won this game...
he may have built up his case as the Pens number-one goalie at exactly the right time.

Whatever the case, the Pens got two points to kick off the toughest week of the year.

Bring the noise.

......................................................

NATIONAL ANTHEM


-- Jack --


--Chudy--
......................................................

FIRST PERIOD

FSN tells us Conkblock is 3-0 lifetime against Buffalo.
His GAA is like .065 against them.

We're not into seeing someone's lifetime stats against a team, because teams change from season to season.
But for some reason, that stats just seemed like the most important thing of your life.

We see Lord Therrien was up to his usual ways, juggling the lines big-time.

Things were chippy early on.
Armstrong leveled someone with a sneaky elbow.

On the next shift, some guy no one's heard of sees Georges Laraque vulernable and decides to lace him with an elbow as well.
BGL takes exception...and takes a penalty.

That no-name jobber was Kaleta.

On that powerplay, Buffalo dictated everything; getting shots off, getting the loose pucks back to the pointmen.

Conk had to make more saves than Dennis Eckersley as the Pens killed it off.

After the PK, it was all Sabres, all the time.
Sabres goalie Ryan Miller remembered he left his garage door open and actually left the arena and went home to close it.
No one even noticed.

Conklin had to weather the storm by himself.

Staal's line got things going, but that didn't even result in getting a shot off.
Conk had to make a solid glove save later on that shift to keep the Pens above water.

The first period went over the hump, and the Pens finally came alive.
Talbot induced heart attacks by hitting the post on a one-timer.

The Sabres had a wide-open net when it went back to the Pens zone, but Letang comes up big at the last second.

That's what you're supposed to do

During the rest of the first period, you waited for Buffalo to score, but it didn't come.

The Pens went nuts in the last 40 seconds, with their best chance coming on a little 3-on-1.
Malkin couldn't pull the trigger, and it just wasn't gonna happen.

..............................................................

Everyone knows Crosby's injured.

But the Penguins have new "Experience the Evolution" commercials that make no mention of him.

If he was in the commercial, would someone sue for false-advertising if they bought tickets and Crosby didn't play?

.............................................................

SECOND PERIOD

Rob Scuderi takes a penalty early in the second that no one even knows about.

During that PK, a Buffalo fan gets hit with a puck that sailed over the glass.
He holds onto his beer and gets a bloody head for his efforts.

Sykora decided to go nuts after the Pens killed it off, with one slapper that hits the pipe.
Almost a goal.

The game almost had a flow, but then Ruutu gets sent to the box for a slash.

Malkin goes to town on a 1-on-2, but no dice.
He gets jobbed and takes out the net.
The puck goes back into the Pens zone, and the refs finally blow the whistle for the dislodged net, which wasn't dislodged at all when the whistle blew.

The Pens were forced to take another defensive-zone faceoff, which they naturally lost.

Butterfly-effect blog:
That defensive-zone faceoff turns out to be a blessing in disguise, since it allowed Ryan Malone to feed Ruutu on a pass coming out of the box.

It was 1-0 by the time he reached the Sabres blue line.

The Ruutu move ™

Money in the bank.

yessssssssssss

Right after that goal, Buffalo gets sent to the box for something.

Jordan Staal sets up shop in the Sabres zone and nails the ref in the hand.
You half-expected Staal to get a penalty.

After a stoppage in play while the ref changed his tampon, the Pens powerplay jumped into action again.
Gonchar carried the puck through the neutral zone, and it was fortuitous bounce blog after that.

His pass to Sykora deflects off a Sabre to Malkin.
Malkin shoots it, but it hits Tallinder's stick.
The bouncing puck finds Sykora's stick, and he trickles it home.

2-0.

Before the Sabres could fart, they were in the box again.
Fittingly, Jordan Staal drew the penalty that the mandible-claw ref blew the whistle on.

The Sabres kill it. Huge kill in front of a restless crowd.

That Kaleta toolbox jobs Malkin.
Armstrong goes over to give him the how-do-you-do.
Unfortunately for the Pens, Kaleta is soft and doesn't take Colby up to the task when he drops the gloves.

It turns out to be big, as Tomas Vanek wipes the cherry juice off his mouth and is finally rewarded with a goal.

2-1.

How many open nets did Vanek miss?
Kevin Lowe is laughing somewhere.

Bob Errey says you can't take stupid penalties like the one Armstrong did.
He is the same guy who would call out the Penguins for not sticking up for Malkin and Crosby.

If there's one good thing about Mellon Arena, it's not seeing the jackasses on the near boards standing up and touching themselves so they can get on TV.

At the end of the period, Jarkko Ruutu almost single-handedly killed someone as he flies up the boards and eventually gets a golden opportunity, but he misses the net by a pube.

Oh man. O-men...?

............................................................

THIRD PERIOD

For the first couple minutes of the third period, the Pens were on acid.
Malkin-Talbot-Sykora were insane.
And then Connor-Taffe-James went nuts.

It didn't stop there, because Malone-Staal-Armstrong dominated.
Colby had a semi-breakaway.

No dice.

The Sabres finally get it out of there, but they just didn't have jump anymore.
They were waiting for the knockout blow.

And that came with about 12:00 left in the third.
Sykora and Talbot fly towards the net.
The puck bounces around, and it's just sitting there.

A white streak comes flying into your television screen.

3-1.

Your mom's so fat, she might actually make a save.

Father Time made an appearance, as Armstrong went to the box for saving a goal.

The Sabres turned into the Harlem Globetrotters during their PP, except that they aren't black.
Conkblock made the routine saves as the Amstrong penalty disappeared.
Thomas Vanek is a waste of time.

Right after the PK, Malkin draws a penalty.
Another big Pens powerplay goes to the wayside, though.

By the time that powerplay was over, there was 3:00 left.
Lindy Ruff pulled Miller, giving the Pens about a minute and a half to seal the deal.

Amstrong, from way downtown. 4-1.
You couldn't see the rest of the game due to all the fans leaving.

Game.

STATS

• Malkin: 1 G, 1 A
• Sykora: 1 G, 1 A
• Conkblock: 36 Saves
  

MISCELLANEOUS

• Talbot killed penalties and complemented Syko and Malkin nicely.
• Buffalo is in trouble.
  
• Where the hell would we be without Ty Conklin?
• How much money does Vanek make?
• Malkin one point behind A.O.
• First Place City. And Conklin's the mayor.
  

..................................................

Photoshops

Buffalo Stunned--- Alex C
Pickle Stabber--Eric H


LGP.com rumor:

Crosby is back Tuesday night against Florida.
Also, the Pens may be signing Diamond Dallas Page for the stretch run.

GameDay (59) -- Pens @ Sabres

6:00pm

[FSN Pittsburgh]




What a dumb time to start a game.
But that is Buffalo for you.


Last time these two teams played, the game was huge, and it meant a lot.
Strangely enough.
So is does this game.

Buffalo was left for dead a month ago.
Now they are knocking on the door.


The Pens have lost two straight.

Bing is skating in full contact drills at practice. [PG]

Some internet rumors are swirling that he is closer to returning than thought.
By closer, they mean tonight.

Which is highly unlikely and made up.


EC is out today.
Taffe is playing.

Conkblock we assume will be in net.

.................................
Eastern Conferenceblog

Overall, the Eastern Conference playoff race is insane.



At this point, starting today.
You have to prepare yourself for a wild next two months.

The Penguins have four games this week.

Could you imagine if they lose all four?
You'd have to think the plan is to at least try and go 2-2.


Whatever the case. This is a really important week in the grand scheme of things.
Especially with the trade deadline looming next week.

.....................
Western Conferenceblog

If the East race is wide open.
The West race is Mariah Carey's cooch.


Everyone but the Kings still has a legit chance.

And things are starting to get ugly.

Oilers/Canucks last night.





......................................


Go Pens

Tom Barrasso, A Man Who Isn't Afraid To Speak His Mind

We hate to keep taking the easy way out with posting youtube videos.
But this one is worth it.

Thanks to Double A aka "Fleury29."

Words cannot express this video.

All you need to know is Troy Loney interviews Tom Barrasso. And then Tom Barrasso goes on a tangent about the Pittsburgh media that is pure gold.

The incident they are speaking of, we believe, is when Barrasso allegedly beat the pants off of some dude at Froggy's.[ A Pittsburgh bar]
Anyone with more info please share.

Three Years Ago

February 16, 2005

The day the music died.

Thanks to [Kuklas Korner] for the horrid reminder.




If anyone remembers the complete chaos that lived in the those days.
Rumors of the season being saved floated everywhere.
Eklund became a big deal.
Hockey blogging wasn't even a thought.


Go Pens

Friday Night Posts

Coach abuse for all of these: Severe

..............................................................................


NBA REFEREES

Fan Abuse: Severe

God bless the NBA official. Coaches are in your face all game.
Fans are right there in your mouth, screaming who knows what.

Athletic Requirements: Moderate

One walks with the point guard carrying it up.
The other two jog down with the rest of the players and stand around and wait for something to happen.

They sweat, though.
But if you stand in a stuffy gym for more than 5 minutes, you would, too.



MLB UMPIRES

Fan Abuse: Severe

Baseball umpiring is big-time pressure.
If you're doing the plate, you will make about 300 calls, and anything less than absolute consistency is unacceptable.

As a base umpire, you wait all game to get a close call, and if you blow it, the entire world knows it and SportsCenter will make a fool out of you and your wife divorces you.

Fans along the baselines revel in making a joke out of you and seeing you crack.
And they've been known to jump onto the field with their son and attack you.

Athletic Requirements: Very Minimal

You just stand there.




NHL OFFICIALS

Fan Abuse: Moderate

Are they subject to abuse from fans?

They get booed when they step onto the ice during pre-game.
They arouse cheers when they lose an edge and fall on their face.
Due to the close quarters of an NHL game, the boos from the home crowd echoing off the walls can probably rattle some of the fresher-faced officials.

Athletic Requirements: Demanding

In the days of one main official, that head official easily had to be in the best shape of any sports official in regards to following the action nonstop.

Even in today's NHL, they can be seen sweating.




NFL OFFICIALS

Fan Abuse: Minimal

Seriously. They are so far removed from the fans, it's not even funny.
They're subject to 20 seconds of ridicule when going in and out of the tunnel.

Yeah, they get booed when a call doesn't go the home team's way, but the beauty is they can even it up with some holding call that happens on every play from scrimmage.

Athletic Requirements: Minimal

If standing around for 52 real-time minutes every game during TV timeouts is athleticism, we've missed the boat entirely.

Half the plays are running plays, where no one does anything.
The other half are passing plays, where the two field judges run with the receivers downfield, while the other five officials touch themselves.

==========================

To summarize:

NFL referees are soft.
Basketball officiating is the real deal.
Umpiring baseball is more mental than anything.
And hockey officiating will be crapped on by hockey naysayers.


HONORARY MENTION

Earl Hebner


What a referee. The go-to guy for every pay-per-view main-event match.

His image was tainted forever by his involvement in the [ Montreal Screwjob ]

............................................................................................................... ............................................................................................................... ...............................................................................................................

HARTFORD WHALERS INTERNETS
Time to ruin Geocities' servers once again.


Ronnie Francis

[ Whalers Memorabilia ]
A must-see if you miss the Whalers.

[ Hartford Whalers Page ]
Includes a .wav file of the goal horn from the Hartford Civic Center,
along with the final announcement in the arena.



[ Brass Bonanza ] [ Hartford Whalers Memoria ] [ Swee'pea's Garden ]

[ Whalers Now And Forever ] [ Whale Zone ] [ LitleMel's Whale Page ]

[ GeoCities Whalers ]




................................................................................


Look familiar?
It's Todd Okerlund...


Son of Mean Gene.

He played four games for the Islanders in 1988.
[ Hockey Draft Central ]

Phantom of the RBC Center. PENS LOSE.

4 - 2

[ NHL.com RECAP ]

Can we blame the refs?
Yeah.

Can we blame Kris Beech?
Yeah.

Can we blame Michel Ouellet?
Unfortunately, no.

The Penguins are 6 points ahead of the 8th playoff spot.
It could be worse.

.........................................................................

ANTHEM

If these two people don't know each other, it's a miracle.
We're guessing they're anywhere from 2 to 4 seats away from each other.

-- Joshua Banks -- |||||||||||| -- Patrick Quarry --



-- JT --

...........................................................

FIRST PERIOD

BGL laid out Rod the Bod on the first shift of the game.
Body By Jake flew in to make out with him, but no dice.

He was gone for the game.

It was all Canes, all the time off the bat.
They were buzzing all around the Pens zone, which eventually forced Jordan Staal to head to the box.

Man, Jordan Staal has been taking a lot of penalties.

About half a second later, it was 1-0 Canes.

Ugh

After the Pens did nothing, Nathan Smith and some plugger threw the gloves down, but the linesmen wanted nothing of it.
You would try to fight everyone, too, if your last name was Comboy.

What followed was more eventfulness, tied in with Cam Ward making the easiest save of his life on Ryan Whitney.

Talbot and JFK had a 2-on-1 out of nowhere, but the Canes defenseman took away the pass, and Cam Ward touched himself while making the stop of Tal-bot.

The Pens needed some momentum, and it had the potential of coming when BGL and Brookbank Mountain tangoed.
Nobody won because Brookbank put BGL in a armlock takedown Nelson.

You want to talk about irony?
You want to talk about fate?

Brooks Orpik broke Erik Cole's life a couple years ago.
In the building where he has been relentlessly booed, he scores his first goal since that 4-3 overtime thriller he won as a sperm for the right to enter the egg. 1-0.

Brooks Orrpik is there when it counts.

Unless Daryl Sydor was in on the bet, Orpik wins that bet all the jobber d-men had on who would score a goal first.

As time wound down in the first, Eli Whitney gets two minutes for inventing the cotton gin.
Big PP for the Pens.

Kris Beech sees action on the second unit.
Our gameplan with him would be for him to go the front of the net and give Carolina players money to let us blast shots from the point at Beech's balls.

The top unit got some time, but nothing was gonna happen.

Your goal scorers for that first period:
Erik Cole
Brooks Orpik

...............................................................

SECOND PERIOD

Staal-Kennedy-Talbot start making out with the Hurricanes' wives early in the second.
They draw a huge penalty.

The first 30 seconds turned into that Islander game where the Pens gave up about 80 shorthanded breakaways.
Sabu comes up big stoning Erik Cole and Eric Staal.

The Pens head back into the Canes zone after the Staal stop.
Malkin jobs one to the net. Goal.

2-1.

Right after that, the Canes came down and hit the post.
Myocardial infarction.

And then Jeff Taffe tries to cut across the slot, but Joey Mormina (who?) decides to give him a flying elbow drop to the chops.
Taffe gets his nose broken on the play, which makes you think of only one thing.

Fabio getting hit by that bird.

SLAM
A broken nose shouldn't hurt Taffe's ice time, since he never smells the net anyway.
SLAM

A garbage call on Rob Scuderi came next.
Scuderi probably blocked a shot from the penalty box.

The Hurricanes came with it on that ensuing power play, but they couldn't finish.
Just like Acid Queen when she says she's gonna go on a diet.

That cake is done

Guess who heads to the box again?
Staal jobs someone in the face.

And you knew the goal was coming. It was just a matter of when.
Garbage goal. 2-2.

Paul Defazio decided to dominate on the Pens bench by getting the netting on Sabu's catcher back in game shape.
He did it just in time for that one ref to job him with that aloof and vague "goalie delay of game" penalty.

This guy. Brad Watson.

[ Igloo Dreams ] did some unreal detective work over the summer to see how each referee treats the Penguins.
Guess who's up there jobbing the Pens in nearly every analysis.

With the transition to two-referee systems, the notoriety and hatred for certain referees that was prevalent in the early '90s has disappeared.

So some referees can job teams at will, knowing they're practically anonymous.

Fortunately for the Pens, that Sabu penalty was killed faster than Natalee Holloway.

First rule of Life Club:
Don't do drugs and drink in a foreign country with dudes you don't know.

And with that, the second period ended.

...............................................................

THIRD PERIOD

Heading into the third, you knew it was either gonna ruin your life or make your Friday pretty bad-ass.

It wasn't looking good when Talbot was called for some phantom interference call.

You knew what was coming. 3-2.

Bad news bears.

Malkin's line starts getting Lecavalier minutes.
They don't score, which didn't bode well.

The Pens had to start pressing in the offensive zone to get some business going, and the Canes capitalized by flying down the other end.
Master Bayda puts one home off the post. 4-2.

Malkin gets his stick held on the next shift, and we now know that Malkin has learned at least one English word.

But then the Canes headed to the box for something.
It didn't matter anyway.

Cam Ward was stopping the world and melting with you all game.

Towards the end of that penalty, Kris Beech gets uber-nailed into the boards.
He gets hurt. We don't care for Beech, but we'd rather see him working at Chick-Fil-A than get hurt.

Quick 5-on-3, then another power play.

But hold the phone.
Jordan Staal came in to douche the guy who hit Beech.
He takes three strides and then levels the guy. Chargingblog.

Unreal.

And then after Therrien barks at the ref, Malkin gets sent to the box for some arbitrary hooking call.

Now that the game was meaningless, nobody cared when the refs disallowed a goal by Eric Staal.

The circus was in RBC Center in the days before this game.
Saying the circus was still there judging by how the Pens played = too easy.

The Pens were given a jobber power play at the end, and Lord Therrien pulls Sabu.
They almost got one home, but it was just a microcosm of the game.

The officiating of a game is never a good excuse, so whatev.
Game.

The Canes won't make the playoffs, so we'll see them next season.

....................................................................

STATS

• Your mom: 1A
• Carolina: 211 shots
  

MISCELLANEOUS

• Fle-ury...Fle-ury...Fle-ury.
• Canes aren't making the playoffs.
• RBC Center just isn't a friendly place.
• Natalee Holloway is a moron.
• Thankg God the Beyonce Knowles DirecTV commercial faded into nonexistence.
  

........................................

Orrpik -- Hutch

GameDay (58) -- Pens @ Hurricanes

[ Mark Eck ]

Cavernousblog



7:08:05
woo

.............................................................

This roller coaster of a season began in the RBC Center.

Fleury was pulled after two periods, after giving up 4 goals.
Sabublog shut the door the rest of the way.
Mark Recchi scored the Pens only goal in a 4-1 slap to the ass.

Then the Canes came to Pittsburgh.
A Pittsburgh shootout win with Sabu in net.

Then they recently pounded on the Canes in Pittsburgh during a 4-1 win.

...............................................................

Sabutage gets the nod tonight.
And Erik Christensen is scratched and may never play again.

** EC's dressed, at least.
We didn't do our homework.

.................................................................


Strush sent this along


Our Cousin Vinnie has been keeping tabs on Charlie.

.........................................................................

[ GameDay Chat ]

Click NHL, click the Pens, make up a username and PW for free WITHOUT e-mail confirmation, and you're gold.

Very solid site.

This Ain't No Fairy Tale World. PENS LOSE.

2 - 1

[ NHL.com RECAP ]

In a perfect world, The Penguins would win the next 25 games of the regular season.
Then they would win 16 straight playoff games, bring the Cup rolling down Grant Street.
And we'd all party all summer on the three rivers.

Realistically, you woke up today.
It was cold.
You were pissed.



That's life. If you can't handle one little loss, what are you really even about?
Come April, you might not even be alive.

Suck it up.
Get yourself together.

See you in Carolina.
Two words: Acid Queen

....................................................


[Dustin K]

[Nailersfan]

[Dave H.]

[Theresa V]

......................................................

FIRST PERIOD

In the pregame, Ryan Malone gets the only faceoff win of his career.
The Pens need a new mat for ceremonies, or at least do the wash.

The Pens dressed 7 defenseman.
Kris Beech was scratched, which eliminated him from being a scapegoat tonight.

Not even a minute into the action, you're reminded that Zdeno Chara and his huge face were gonna job Malkin all game.

Some turd for the Bruins had an unreal chance to put the B's up 1-0 early, but Daryl Sydor dominates by tying up his stick.

In the Bruins' previous game, they were down 3-0 against the Hurricanes.
They played a good third period in that game.
You could tell they were feeding off something.

Pens d-man Alex Goligoski busts out the #67 for his NHL debut.
If you created yourself on NHL video games in the mid-90's and picked that number while you banged in 146 goals on a line with Lemieux and Jagr, you are not alone.

The Pens headed to the box, leaving it up to the PK unit to squash the Bruins' early jump.
The boys kill it, and Gonchar almost had a breakaway coming out of the box, but no dice.

After some jobbing and a Pens power play turning into poop, Gonchar complements his earlier penalty with an egregious giveaway behind the Pens net.
Shot, save, rebound.

Jokelainen puts it home.

1-0.

And then just when you say that the Bruins don't scare you, the Pens lullygag in their own zone while the Bruins were playing hockey.

Puck goes in front. 2-0.

Stunned

Well, if the Bruins didn't suck, it could've been 3-0 or 4-0.

The Pens go into the first intermission, knowing the tongue-lashing that awaited them.

.................................................................

SECOND PERIOD

If you want to know how the second period felt:

Make a fist and then punch yourself in your balls/ovaries.
Or just take off all your clothes and sit there until someone walks in on you.

Giant Gonzales took a penalty for hooking, but the Pens powerplay was out of sorts.

Jordan Staal then boarded someone.
Conk keeps the Pens in it.

Things get worse.
EC takes a slashing penalty.

Killed.

Boston wasn't setting the world on fire. It was always just one and done for the Pens.
Gonch led a rush later in the second. He walked in all alone.
But Tim Thomas is a beast some nights.

Tough

After Gonch got the shot off, Aaron Ward tried to job him.
Gonch accidentally punched Ward in the throat.
Reports are he is throwing up blood or something.
He'll be fine.

The Bruins then took three street penalties.
The power play was Joke City.
The Bruins players were on PCP during the PK all night.

Things almost got interesting as Jordan Staal found EC in the crease.
Thomas had no clue. EC missed everything.
Right then and there, you could've shut the TV off. But whatev.

Another penalty on the Pens ends the second.

....................................

THIRD PERIOD

The Pens were able to kill off that penalty.
But that was about it.

Noting remotely interesting happened until Staal pick-pocketed some dude.
He got the puck to Talbot.
Talbot to EC...
Oops.

[Double R]

It turned out being an awful game for EC.
Right after that, Staal trips someone.
Bad times.

The Bruins powerplay is mud though.
Malkin steals the puck.
He makes a little jump move but gets flattened by Dennis Wideman.

Refs stop play.
Kneeing on Wideman.

WTF. Claude Julien your thoughts?

Yea

Pens get a gift, but the power play is trash.
Thankfully, the refs are trying to fix the game for the Penguins for once.
They call a penalty on Marc Savard for existing.

The power play is not even into it.
Bad times.

Just when you think all is lost...
Malkin goes into flight.
Dennis Wideman pulls him down.

Coach Julien, your thoughts please?

[A Canaan joint]

This time Malkin takes over the world.
He gets a pass from Sykora.
Chara screens the goalie. 2-1.

[Doug G]

After the goal, spirits are raised.
But give the Bruins credit. They closed down everything.
If we ran Bruins blog, P.J. Axelson would be a big deal.

As father time entered the building, the Pens fell apart.

First, Gonch turned it over.
Two-on-none breakaway for the Bruins...

But we built this season on Conk n' Roll.
Just an unreal save.

As visions of the pop you just spilled run through your head, Letang turns it over.
Breakway for Phil Kessel.

No dice again. Dick.

Oh man.
Two huge saves.
Miracle on Grant Street?

Therrien calls a timeout.
Off the faceoff, Malone jobs some dude.
Refs had to call it.

Malkin almost ties it with a buzzer beater.
Wasn't meant to be.

Game.


[Theresa V]

STATS

• Malkin: 1G
• Sykora: 1A
• Staal: 1A
• Conk: 31 saves

MISCELLANEOUS

• Whatev. If this is the worst loss we face, we are lucky.
  
• Conklin's saves at the end of the game were insane.
• Coming down to Earth can hurt sometimes.
• Huge game in Carolina coming Thursday night.
• Boston is cheap, but tough
• This is Kris Beech's fault.

.......................................

They tried to make Marc-Andre Fleury go to rehab, he said ok-ok-ok.


30 saves on 31 shots.
[Faceoff Factor]

...................................................

And finally...

Happy Valentines Day to all the girlfriends, boyfriends,
wifes, husbands and life partners out there.

GameDay (57) -- Bruins @ Pens

[ Marcie Warner dominates with this pic ]



7:30

..........................................................


[ Mark Eck ]

The last time the Pens played the Bruins?
Gary Roberts had 2 goals ina 3-1 win.

The game before that in Boston?
The Pens win 5-4 in the shootout.

Bing dropped the gloves with Andrew Ference.
And it was Ty Conklin's first start...and first win.

So long ago that it makes your balls hurt.

...........................................................


[ Malkinian ]

Perjuryblog. Ouch.

............................................................

The "THE" in ThePensblog is important.

Case in point:

[ cafepress.com/pensblog ]



Look out. They're dropping the puck on hockey news.

Go Pens.

66 Problems, But The Pens Ain't One

First thing(')s first.

First thing is first?

First things are first?

It is almost spring. Drug-dealing sales are low.

So the Hill District is up to its old tricks. [PG]

They are threatening to appeal the approval of the new arena deal, as if anyone cares.

Hill leaders argue that since the neighborhood will be the site of the $290-million replacement for Mellon Arena, it should get development funding, an inside track on jobs, a grocery store and community center, more parking space and input into a redevelopment plan.

[Mike P.]

...............................

Malkin wants Crosby bizzack. [ PG ]

Lord Therrien's reign. [ Trib ]

Scott Cullen at [ TSN ] breaks down the Pens salary-cap issues and crap.

Everyone has hopefully seen the Bob Errey/Gary Roberts/Water thing from the the Flyers game. [ YouTube ]

Eric P. was nice enough to turn it into a [ ringtone ]

......................................................

NHL

Does the NHL need to start hiring minorities to the front offices of teams? [ Fanhouse ]

And by "minorities", we mean Europeans.

NBC has to think whether they want the NHL next season. [ Globe Sports ]

Do they nix the NHL because of low ratings? Or keep it as a lead-in into the 2010 Olympics?

John Buccigross wipes the slate clean and starts up the NHL from scratch. [ ESPN ]

In Bucci's fantasy world, Crosby gets drafted first overall by the Los Angeles Kings.

In an ironic twist, Crosby trained in Los Angeles before his rookie season and donned the Kings jersey.

................................................................

Best random Photoshop of the night


[Gordie]

...............................................................

Adam Graves is mud and shouldn't get his number retired. [ Windsor Star ]


Sheldon Souray is done for the year. [ Fanhouse ]

Kevin Lowe tried to sign Souray's injury to --

Never mind.
It's time to stop piling on the hapless Oilers.

The Senators are a circus.
Ray Emery makes some pretty big time accusations against the Ottawa police. [TSN]

I've hit at least 30 (times) in the last two years," he told TSN on Monday. "It could be because it's licensed to a dealer, so when they (the police) read the plates, it doesn't show up, 'Ray Emery.'"

Wow.

The Sens also lost last night to the Sabres.

This isn't from the game tonight.
But wow.
[Thanks to Jeff B.]



Got a chance to watch the Ducks game on Versus last night.
They are the team to beat in the West. Mark it down.

[ Photoshop by Battle of California ]

...............................................................

Philly is the 5th most miserable city. [dig]

One of the recent posts on the [Flyers message board ] :

Good times.

[Thanks to Kelli and Kyle for the link]

........................................

[ STOREBLOG ]

We added some crap, including some sick drawings Stephen S and we also have a "Cotton Candy HEEEEEEE" shirt on the way,

but we'll need people to vote on how to correctly spell "HERE".

The newest shirt is an ode to every hockey blogger's first stop.

[Dr. James. Mirtle M.D.]


.................................................

[Canaan]

Go Pens

To Job A Mockingbird

First things first.
Richard Zednik is still in stable condition. [ TSN ]

SportsCenter found it nice to discuss college-basketball games and the Pro Bowl before getting to Zednik's story.
Jim Rome's Crotch Is Burning had it as the second story.

Monday's PTI finally comes through, making it their top discussion topic.
Wilbon and Kornheiser know hockey is not their realm, so it's good that they didn't talk about making sweeping changes to the players' equipment, because they should stick to the other sports.
They just wondered why this doesn't happen more often.



Quick, make sure to fork over the bucks to get access to ESPN.com's INSIDER story about how quick attention saved Zednik's life, since you probably weren't aware of that.
Stupid.


Speaking of stupid...
Someone on LGP found this article from the [Montana Standard]
Look at the headline.


First and last time we ever link to anything from Montana.
Dicks.

...............................................................

Pens News

::Shero is like whatev about making trades. [PG]

::Malkin Rising. [ Fanhouse ]

More Malkin.

Who makes an "L" like that?

::Mario is impressed. [trib]

On Sunday afternoon, about 20 minutes after Evgeni Malkin's latest virtuoso performance, Mario Lemieux walked into the Penguins dressing room cradling a white cardboard box in his left hand.

Lemieux gave Malkin a fist bump.

"Nice game, Geno," Lemieux said. "And thanks for the vodka."

Side note:
That is how you start a newspaper article. Kudos to Joe Starkey.

:: MAF is making his rehab debut on Wednesday.
The [Faceoff-Factor] guys will be all over it.

..............................................................

AFTERMATH

Did anyone know Philadelphia's Daniel Briere is a -18 this season? [ ESPN Stats ]

What a terrible offseason acquisition.

Simon Gagne has another concussion. [ Yahoo ]

He was good while it lasted.

Flyer Braydon Cobourn is out for two weeks with a torn artery in his buttock. [ ESPN ]

A trial to determine the guilty party began and ended on Monday afternoon.

GUILTY AS CHARGED

========

And not pile on the Philly trash, but thanks to Canaan for doing the detective work on this next story.

Apparently some dude started jobbing the Penguins in the video recap on YouTube.[Pens/Flyers]


Sadly, YouTube user "Jmmul1" made the biggest mistake of his life.

What we found after going to his video page...
Well, it speaks for itself.



You wake up in the morning hoping someone who makes a video like that crosses you.

........................................................

Sensblog



The Sens were a pretty solid team heading into this past weekend.
But then they got even better.

They traded Lee Corvo and Patrick Eaves to Carolina for Cory Stillman and d-man Mike Commodore.
Ottawa upgrading their blue line is just bad news bears for the rest of the league. [ Yahoo ]
Carolina fire sale coming up?


Picture: [Acid Queen] =Stunned


Somehow, Jason Spezza beat out Malkin for the NHL's First Star of the Week. [ TSN ]



.............................................................................


Two Habs that no one cares about got arrested in Tampa Bay for jobbing some girl. [ TSN ]
One of the players was former Penguin Tom Kostopoulos.
Yeah, nobody cares.
But making fun of the Canadiens never gets old.

--Ashley G.-- --Jason S--


The Leafs practiced outside. [ TSN ]

Check out this picture of some little kid at the Leafs game on Saturday flicking the Red Wings off.

Good times.

....................................................................

CALL TO ARMS

We have sent the wheels in motion to contact Rick Tocchet to ask him about the Game 7 goal in 1993.

We broke down the goal frame-by-frame during the summer. [ Rick or Ronnie? ]

If the person we e-mailed does not respond or does not give us a way to contact Rick Tocchet, we will need everyone to pepper the person's e-mail address with the same identical e-mail, sort of like what Andy Dufresne did in Shawshank.

We will keep everyone up to date as this progresses.

They can't ignore us forever.

.........................................

[Storeblog]

If you ordered something it should be arriving any day now.
We got our first shipment of stuff.


.....................................................

Top Ten hottest wives/girlfriends in the NHL. [ Wicked Wrister]

D.J Tanner number 10.

do it

........................................

And remember if things ever get out of control in commentorblog.
Look to the sky.


................................

Go Pens

Scary Situation

Just a bad situation last night in the Buffalo/Florida game.

Richard Zednik got cut in the throat by teammate Olli Jokinen's skate.




Zednik is going to be all right. [TSN.ca]
Huge credit to all the doctors on hand.
Can you even imagine having to think and respond that quickly?


[Yahoo pictures] has some pictures of the incident.





There was a huge delay in the game.
You have to wonder if they should've canceled the game.

NHL officials were on hand and decided to go on with the game after being notified that Zednik would be all right and that both teams consented on finishing the game.


Thoughts go out to Richard Zednik.

Hold Your Breast. PENS WIN.

4-3

[NHL.com recap]

Not only is the view up here pretty nice, but it makes it easier to partake in one of our favorite hobbies.

What a way to wrap up a solid weekend.

There are so many little pleasures in life.
Beating the Fyers just feels good.

..................................................................

NATIONAL ANTHEM

--Durbano-- --Lauren--

--R. Richter-- --Jimmy T--

--Nicholas E-- -Fleury29--

--BlacknGold66--

--Lloyd J.-- --A Bizz--

--Seeker--

...................................................................

FIRST PERIOD

The early going of the first period was mud and a half.
Neither team was doing anything. It was a joke.

But that all changed when Maxime Talbot decided to go to the box for a double minor.
Slash = Not a good decision
Job to the face = Not a good decision

Flyers powerplay is unreal.
And the Pens paid for those penalties when RJ Umberger found a loose puck and gave Conkblock sweet chin music.

1-0.

The Pens killed off the second penalty, but the damage was done.

The rest of the first period was turning into snoozeblog, with the Flyers almost putting one home to make it 2-0.
But Conk was making the routine saves.

The first frame hit the homestretch, and you were contemplating another loss to the Flyers.
But the Jesus comes out of nowhere.

The Pens worked it up the ice, all five Pens touching the puck.
Letang takes a hit, gets it to Gonchar. Gonch jobs it up the boards to Malone.
Malone one-touches it Malkin. Malkin glides into the zone.
Sykora was waiting for it on the right wing.
He holds in the wrister button and beats Biron far side.

1-1.

The Pens were beasts for the rest of the period.

One of those stretches of beastality was shortened when Jarkko Ruutu and Steve Downie threw down.

Both guys got in some solid punches, but the story of the fight was Steve Downie skating away from the fight like a schoolgirl.

There must have an offer in the locker room shower he could not refuse.

Seriously, though. That's Philly's enforcer?
That's funny.

All afternoon, the refs were afraid to call penalties on the flyers.
Jordan Staal got a stick to the chops, but apparently that means Erik Christensen did it to someone, too.

During the 4-on-4 action, Ryan Malone takes a shot on net.
Derian Hatcher deflects it into the stands.
No biggie.

But then Hatcher cross checks Malone for no reason at all.

It starts a huge skirmish in front of the Flyers net that saw Malkin get blasted with a left hand from Scott Hartnell.

Did anyone see Ryan Malone's face when he saw that? Oh man.

Naturally, the Pens came out of that with a solid 4-on-3.
They had 40-some seconds to work on it in the first, but no dice.

........................................................................

Severe Weather Advisory

The high winds in the Pittsburgh area today baffled local meteorologists, until the news came that today was Gary Roberts' first full workout since going down with a broken leg.

.........................................................................

SECOND PERIOD

The Pens cashed in early in the second on that 4-on-3.
Malkin gets it to Gonch, who floats one to the net. Big goal.

Picture: John Stevens ask the refs to disallow the goal because a little boy in the stands distracted goalie Biron.

2-1. Dickhead

This was the Pens first lead against the Flyers this season.

After a couple minutes, Scott Hartnell comes in and gets a shot off on Conk.
In the background after the whistle, you see BGL giving Hartnell the how-do-you-do for that Malkin punch in the first.

For the second time in the game, a Flyer grabs Daryl Sydor's stick and has sex with it.
Holding penalties (and intereference penalties, for that matter) don't exist anymore.

Since that Sykora goal, the Pens had dictated the action.
They spent about four minutes in the Flyers zone during one stretch in the second.
Malkin was everywhere again.

Mark M.

That stretch was followed by some more great Penguins hockey.
They Flyers couldn't get in deep, shots were coming from the perimeter.

Around the middle of the period, Armstrong completely annihilates some pour soul.
The Flyers cry about it.

Special delivery for the flyers

That hit didn't disrupt the Penguins' ongoing domination of this game.
What a second period this was.

This period was punctuated by another unreal display of the Malone-Malkin-Syko line.
Malkin takes advantage of Vandermeer not having a stick, swoops around, one-knees a one-timer past Biron.

3-1.

Malkin's parents have been in all weekend.

Get them a house to stay in.
[ Thanks to Matt N. for the screenshot]

During the announcement of the Malkin goal, another anomaly happens, when Barbero has to stop between announcing the goal and assists to announce the "One minute remaining in the period."

They Flyers don't know what hockey is, so they just start trying to light people up instead of playing positionally sound hockey during that second period.
Just a terrible display by the Flyers.

Just before intermission, Flyers officials issue an Amber Alert for Dorothy Briere.
Does he still play for the Flyers?

...........................................................

THIRD PERIOD

The worst possible thing to happen to start the third period...happened.

Umberger got things going, grabbing a rebound in front of the net.
Conklin makes a solid save, but the rebound goes back to Umberger's stick.

3-2.

Then another mistake comes, when the Flyers catch the Pens on a line change.
Jeff Carter gets a semi-breakaway, but Whitney hooks him.

Huge PK on the way.

The Pens kill that off, and unreal end-to-end hockey ensued.
Christensen had the Pens best chance, but instead of just unleashing a wrister and praying, he was thinking about doing the dipsy-do and lost control of the puck.

There was 10:00 left, and it was survivorblog.
The Flyers were pressing, and the Pens were on the heels.

Later on, Jeff Taffe jumps onto Malkin's line out of nowhere for the 20th time of the game.
He almost puts one home.

Before the Flyers can get it out of the zone after that chance, Malkin grabs it and feeds a wide-as-balls-open Letang on the right point.
Letang jobs in, Derian Hatcher decides to screen his goalie.
LeGame just picks his spot.

4-2.

The next time Malkin was on the ice, he picked the puck up with his glove and threw it out of the zone.
That's a penalty. We'll put the blame on Kris Beetch just because.

Kimo Timmonen ruins the Flyers PP when he hooks up Jordan Staal on a shorthanded chance.
What a mistake.

Father Time became a big deal, and the Flyers had to pull Biron.
Conklin gets jobbed by the zamboni door, and the Flyers get a big cheapo goal.

4-3

The makes LeGame's goal even bigger.

The Flying Penises call a timeout and almost tie the game up, making you hold your breast. But no dice.
Ryan Malone runs into Timmonen at the end. Great thing to see.

Game.

Flyers fans = STUNNED


--Lauren--


--Starky5--


--R.Richter-- --BlacknGold66--

-Lloyd J. the scoreboard says " Fyers = stunned"--

--Jason G--

.......................
POST GAME

Potash has a solid interview with Malkin.
Did anyone get this on youtube yet?

--A Bizz--

STATS

• Malkin: 1G, 3A
• Sykora: 1G, 1A
• Gonch: 1G
• Conk: 27 saves
  

MISCELLANEOUS

• PFC Louden Downie is a joke. What a vaj.
• If this Malkin line stays hot, who else from the Pens gets promoted to the top line with Sid when he returns?It's a solid problem to have.
• If Derian Hatcher played for the Pens, we would kill ourselves. What a liability.
• MVP chants for Malkin should be sprouting up in the next week or two.
• Again, Daniel Briere. Wow.
• We'll always hate Mike Richards. But at least he shows up.
• Pens have sent MAF down to the baby Pens for rehab.
• Congrats to readers "blackngold66" and "Fleury29". They came in from out of state to see two wins.
  

Flyers photoshops we didn't get to use:

--Cody G-- --Rick S.--

--Jere-- --Will Smith--

--J Schiff--


--Amber and Nikki --


--David K.--


--Allison N.--


--AK--

--Justin-- --Eric H--



.....................

Go Pens

GameDay (56) -- Flyers @ Pens

1:00pm




We know what the Flyers are about.
You know what the Flyers are about.

Nothing needs to be said.



This is serious.



Go Pens

..........................
Update:

Matt K. sent this jibjab in.
You'd think they wouldn't be funny by now.

Showtime. PENS WIN

4 - 2


[ NHL.com Recap ]


Executive Decisionblog


Thanks to FSN problems and the fact that the 1:00pm start took us off our routine, this half ass recap is only being published because it has to look like we did something.
In fact don't even waste your time scrolling down.


Not to overshadow certain games, but other than another sick performance by Malkin, this game was whatev.

The real battle begins at 1:00pm today.


.....................................

National Anthem


-- Durbano --


-- justincredibleh --


-- Fleury29 --


-- BlacknGold66 --


-- Kaitlin --


-- Theresa --

...............................
FIRST PERIOD

Malkin
1-0

.........................
SECOND PERIOD



Penguins pee on Marc Crawford's family.
lead
4-0

..............................
THIRD PERIOD


Sabu cleans up.


Pens win.
4-2

STATS:

• Malkin: 2G, 1A
• Malone: 1G,1A
• Staal: 1G

MISCELLANEOUS

• Honestly don't waste your time posting in the comments. Solid win
• BGL fought the famed Ivanis. Mud.
• Fox Sport dropped the ball. Big time
• Malkin MVP?
• firstplace blog

Pens Win

Recap won't be up until tonight.


Huge win.

[Rudy Kelly Stunned]



.............................

Pens in first place thanks to the Flyers losing.

Matt P. from the [700 Level] sent this through.

Shocking situation in Philly today as a Linesman takes a skate to the face:

Ouch

GameDay (55) -- Kings @ Pens

1:00pm

Anyone even remember the Kings game from last season?

You want to talk about pathetic game recaps, you talk about the one we did for that game.
[Hasta L.A. Vista, Kings. PENS WIN]

What a horrible excuse for a recap.

With the highly anticipated Flyers game coming on Sunday afternoon, this Kings game is the ultimate trap game.

The Kings have the worst record in the world, and the Pens may have a false sense of security playing on their home turf.

Our friends from [Battle of California] will have the Kings side of the story.

.........................................................................

STOREBLOG

We had a couple of designs in our heads on what we wanted a Commentorblog shirt to look like.

We wanted to dig a little deeper for those devoted warriors of the keyboard, so here you go.

We hope you all like it.

We needed a date and timestamp to make the shirt feel genuine, so we used the approximate date and time (EST) the Pens won their first cup.

Other stuff we added:

Still in the works:

• Solid Conkblock City shirt
• Solid Pensblog.com shirt
• A better Winter Classic shirt

.........................................................

Cool little thing on John Barbaro from last year.


Thanks to Verle H.

...............................................

John B. sent this picture in.
It could change your life.



Go Pens

The Talented Mr. Whitney. PENS WIN.

4-3

[NHL.com Recap]


Coach calls out player.
Fans rip player.
Player responds.
Fans shower player with love.

Coach = Doing his job.


[ Eddy Spaghetti ]

Huge win.

.....................................................

National Anthem


[Demondg1]



[Tzu-Wei Lin]

[RandyR.]

[Fleury29]

[Ray Brooks]

...........................................................

FIRST PERIOD

Well, Ryan Whitney was in the starting lineup.
Whatever that means.

The Pens dominated life early on, getting some chances with wide-open nets, but their sticks were tied up or they just couldn't corral the puck.

You miss some solid chances like that, and you will ultimately get jobbed for it.

And that happened a few minutes later, in a moment reminiscent of that time you took a girl home and then realized she was a man.
Conk misplayed a puck, everyone craps themself, Mike Comrie flushes the toilet.
Besides feeding his dog, it was the easiest thing Comrie did all week.

1-0.

Not necessarily the best start to a hockey game, but just like the time you took that dude home, you stuck with it and made the best out of it.

Kris Beech got on the ice and probably did something.
He better score a goal in his first couple games.

After some more minutes of action, Sean Bergenheim jobs Letanger, and the Pens jump on the power play.

BERGENHEIM!

Not even a minute into that dance, Sykora finds himself alone in the slot.
He positions himself for a wrister, but then sees Ryan Whitney out of the corner of his eye.
The Mini Whitney Play™.

1-1.

"A real defenseman makes that count as two goals. Get it together."

Off the ensuing faceoff, Talbot and Mike Comrie square off in the most awkward fight since you fought that kid in third grade.

[Tzu-Wei Lin]

The rest of the first period had you watching Kris Beech like a hawk when he was on the ice, trying to get your brain to register that it was in fact Kris Beech.

FSN came back from commercial and showed the footage everyone wanted to see:
Crosby taking some laps around the Mellon Arena ice.
He was skating with Lemieux, and why FSN didn't show the big guy skating, we'll never know.

To round out the first-period action, we get a solid explanation of the Murphy Dump.

Steigerwald then says Murphy dumped that puck into the Devils zone in 1991.

Wrong

It was Phil Bourque.

..............................................................

SECOND PERIOD

After some scrappy play early in the second, the Pens win a big faceoff in the Isles zone.
The puck goes back to Niklas Lidstrom, who gets it on net.

You frantically hit the "deflect" button on your controller, and Ryan Malone delivers.

2-1.

If your name is Kris Beech, what could be the worst thing you could do in your first game back in the Pens uniform?
Take a penalty that results in a goal.

Ruslan Fedojoko puts one home on the ensuing power play to tie the game up.

2-2.

It looks like one of those games.
After a solid stretch of hockey, Andu Sutton goes off for interference.
The Pens powerplay would connect again, when Ray Bourque puts one in on the backhand.

3-2.

Puppet Master

A minute later, Andy Sutton goes to the box again.
Therrien sends Kris Beech out there on the PP, since the best thing to do to a hot power-play unit is to break it apart.

What a mistake.
The Isles kill it off.

Some jobbing went on for the rest of the second, setting up a huge third period.

.....................................................................

THIRD PERIOD

Pens leading against the Islanders in a third period makes you uneasy.
It was only a matter time before things were tied.

However, this time, it took forever.
Both teams traded some chances, but nothing too big.

FSN shows #66 shooting some pucks.
Could he still run a lethal power play from the left-wing half boards? Yeah.

Beech's line gets some ice time.
Penaltyblog on Armstrong, but it was most likely Beech's fault.

Pens go on a huge penalty kill.

The Islanders set up shop.
Richard Park finds Comrie. He goes top shelf shortside.

3-3

But for some reason, Comrie isn't heard from for the rest of the game.
No clue why.

As Father Time waits outside, it looks like this game has vomit all over it.
But then it happens.

Under five minutes to play, Ricky D. can't stop a puck coming around the boards.
Letang pinches in. He snaps a shot loose.
It hits king douchebag Brendan Witt's stick.
The netting flutters.

4-3

Turd sandwhich

[BlacknGold]

The Isles were stunned, but not down for the count.

Under a minute to play, Staal can't finish the empty netter, which always spells trouble.
Isles head the other way, and the puck eventually gets on net.
Oh shhhhhh--

Not.
Ref blows the whistle.

LeGAME.

STATS

• Whitney: 2G, 1A
• Malkin: 3A
• Beech: Whatev
  

MISCELLANEOUS

• BGL was hitting everything.
• Flashblog will be up and running this weekend.
• 30 wins for the Pens this season. Nice.
• Malkin with a quiet three-point night. Almost in the top five in scoring.
• Sykora always gets a point.
• Big weekend ahead.
• Trade Beech for Jagr. Again. vomit.

Go Pens

GameDay (54) -- Islanders @ Pens

-- Ryan O'Shea --

7:30



Beechblog tonight.

.......................................

The last time the Pens and the Islanders played, it was December 21st.
We were a healthy scratch for that recap, but it's what turned the season around on here.

............................................................

The rest of the Atlantic is beginning to distance themselves from the Islanders,
so Ted Nolan will have this team committed to getting some wins.

This is the start of a big stretch for the Pens before we get into March, which is a deadly month.

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

STOREBLOG

Come Sunday night, everything in Storeblog will come to a nice balance.

We couldn't get everything done that we wanted to on Thursday.
The worst thing we could possibly do is just throw terrible and hurried graphics on a shirt for the sole purpose of getting it into Storeblog faster.

We're adding little trinkets like buttons, magnets, stickers, etc.

Go Pens

Parting The Waters

It is early February.
Life is a joke, as usual.

Four of the next five Pens games are at the Mellon.
Critical times.

[ Flashblog will be updated before tonight's game, so bear with us. ]

........................................

Pens News

Sidney Crosby is back on skates. [ TSCS ]

The Pens called that one dude up. [ PP.com ]

Ryan Whitney knew Therrien was pissed. [ PG ]

.........................................................

Froppa

In easily the most meaningless prospective news of the current NHL season,
Peter Forsberg may be announcing his return to the NHL this week.


TSN reports that he turned down the Penguins. [ TSN ]

Forsberg joining the Pens...
That would be cool, if this was 2001.

Is there a tiny piece of you that would rather see this Penguin team go to higher places without the help of someone who jumps onto the team in February?

................................................................

Mirtleblog

-- James Mirtle M.D. broke out the statistical and analytical whooping stick.

The record the Pens need the rest of the season to make the playoffs?
13-15-1 [ Mirtle ]

A look at how the NHL has changed. Solid as it gets if you have a couple minutes. [ Mirtle 2 ]

.................................................................

-- How much do goalies make per save? [ Puck That Hit ]

Cheapest per save	Most Per save
$520 Jason LaBarbera (Kings) $594 Timothy Jr. Thomas (Bruins) $635 Dan Ellis (Predators)	$6000 Jose Theodore (Avalanche) $4876 Nikolai Khabibulin (Hawks) $4365 Marty Turco (Stars)

-- Head on over to [ Goon's World ] to see the pic of the UND coach flipping the bird in a recent college game.

-- [ BlackAthlete.net ] says hockey don't need no Tiger Woods.

-- John Buccigross reminds NFL fans that the NHL ain't too bad. [ Bucci ]

Speaking of ESPN...



People have to stop kissing the NFL's ass.
No one's reading that and saying, "Hey, he alluded to the NFL,
so therefore I must read this column and become a hockey fan."

..........................................................




[ Frozen Showzen ]

If you have nothing to do Friday night at 9:00PM, we'll be on this BlogTalk Radio Show.
Should be good times.


..........................................................


Some dude makes caricatures of Capital players. [ Capitals Art ]



A.O. beat the Flyers. [ NHL.com ]


They finally got Phaneuf to sign the dotted line.
6 years, $6.5 per. [ TSN ]

Greg Dubs at Deadspin found this story about some parrot that loves the Flames. Video included. [ Deadspin ]


-- Courtesy of Deadspin --


That drug lord finally bought the Oilers. [ TSN ]






Here's the press release from the Ducks' visit to the White House. [ White House ]


Rick Tocchet is back. [ ESPN ]

We're that much closer to finding out if he deflected that puck in Game 7.

....................................................................

Jeff Jimmerson American Idol Spoof

Huge find by [ PSAMP ]

This appeared on the Jumbotron on Saturday:

Part 1:



Part 2:


What the Penguins need to do is post that online.
They need to start posting a lot of their stuff online, especially for people that don't get to the arena a lot.

...................................................................

Storeblog

We definitely don't want to commit a section to Storeblog every night in posts, but for right now, it's a must.
We will be making a separate blog specifically for store ideas and discussions in the near future.

If you need the link to the store, we've added it up at the top left of the site.
W