Thursday, January 31, 2008

Matt K. made this.
It took us 20 minutes to stop laughing so we could post it.

Got to love off nights.

Pensblog Charlie steals the show.

Life changing.



[atl.png][pit.png]
4 - 1

[ NHL.com RECAP ]

The good news?
If we did our math right, Conklin will be showing up in NHL leaderboards today.

2.14 GAA
.934 SV%


Other than that, you pretty much felt like McGruff the crime dog when he brought his bong to some grade school by mistake.



Bad times.

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-- Thrasher fan JZNole comes through --





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FIRST PERIOD


The Pens looked like they hadn't skipped a beat, when the Muskegon Line Part 8 came out and cycled for about 4 minutes, but they forgot to get a shot on the net.

The next shift, some French guy had a breakaway, but he shoots it into Conk's junk.

Staal-Christensen-Talbot come out and play puck possession.
Atlanta's goalie falls asleep waiting for a shot on net.

Gonch monkeyed into the slot and redirected a pass at the net, but big save.
Nathan Smith gets jobbed into the net, and the net goes off its moorings.
When was the last time you saw a whistle not blown when the net is that messed up?

Butterfly Effect Blog -- Holik eventually goes down and scores a goal.


1-0.

Ugh.
Give it up for Bobby Holik, though. He's getting up there in age.
And now he is only a minus-16 for the year.

We don't want to job our crack dealer, but FSN's graphic department put Chris Thorburn on the Pens fourth line during the PNC Bank Lines graphic.
That would have been OK in October. Get it together boys.

Ruutu came out for a shift after that and totally rammed some turd in the Thrashers zone.
For a brief second, it looked like he hit Mark Recchi.
But then everyone realized Mark Recchi wouldn't be back that far in his own defensive zone.

Jeff Taffe flies down into the Thrashers zone, with all intents to lift Exelby's stick, but Taffe's stick jobs him in the face.
4-minute edition.


-- Matt Kom --

You didn't think much about it when it happened, but Malkin went down to block a shot and didn't even care about at least covering his face. Dude.

Staal lost his stick on the PK, but the Pens manage to get out of that mess.

It took the Thrashers a few minutes, but they finally were able to put Kovalchuk at the left point and set him up for a one-timer.

2-0.

Kovalchuk, the consummate dick, shows up the Pens bench after the goal with a quick point.
Act like you've scored before.

The next time down into the Pens zone, that French guy tripped up Letang.
Big power play at the end of the period.

No dice.
It feels like it could be a long night.

..................................................................


-- Patrick K. --

Apparently, the "Commit To The Indian" shirts are no longer for sale.

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SECOND PERIOD

If this is NHL '08, you look forward to the second period 'cause you'll be on offense skating up the screen.

You have something else to look forward to when Ken Klee interferes with Gonch.
Another big PP on the way.

For the second time tonight, the power play does nothing at all.

Remember when Kovalchuk pointed at the Pens bench?
It is Ruutu's job to go find him and give him an extra little nudge.
Not to injure the guy, but just to say: don't do that again.

Kovalchuk tries to get away from the check, but Ruutu's knee hits Kovy's knee.



No one wants to see anyone hurt.
But the Penguins don't want to see anyone showing them up.
Don't be stupid.


Karma

Atlanta's Steve McCarthy accuses Ruutu of being a communist and goes after him, pelting him with fists.
Just an atrocious call.
The argument already building on the internet is "Well, what if that happened to Malkin or Crosby?"

Well, first off, it didn't.
Secondly, it wasn't kneeing.

Ruleblog [NHL.com]



If you want to see a kneeing penalty, go to the 1991 Wales Conference Finals and find Ulf Samuelsson jobbing Cam Neely.

The worst part of it all?
Ruutu gets 5 minutes for fighting while never taking his gloves off or throwing a punch.

Somehow the Pens come out of this shorthanded on a 3-minute all-you-can-get power play for Atlanta.



Whatev.
The refs are quick to bring out the make-up call when Holik gives Malkin a love tap with his stick.

The damage has been done though. Ruutu is gone for the game. A short bench gets shorter.

During some 4-on-4 business, Malkin gets a stick in the face. No call.
Next trip down the ice, Nazzer gets the stick up into a Thrasher. Penalty.
Just how things were happening.

Did Errey call Nazzer's penalty a "2-minute johnson"?
If so, that is awesome.

The Pens kill it off, and all of a sudden, the second period was disappearing, and the two-goal deficit started looking like Mount Washington.

Sykora almost got the Pens going, but Kari Lehtonen was a brick wall.

Gonch heads to the box, just in time for Ilya Kovalchuk to return to the ice on the power play.
The Pens kill it off, and Kovalchuk heads back to the locker room.

Next thing you know, Bobby Orrpik flies down the wing and gets across the slot to Nathan Smith.

Smith turns his skate to slow the puck down, but it caroms off and goes into the net.
Helen Keller could see he had no intent of kicking it in, but Helen Keller isn't in the war room.
No goal.

Why did the review take so long?

-- Jas155 --


One of the worst periods of the season mercifully comes to an end.

.............................................................


-- J. Schiff --

This one goes to Mark Recchi, for his remarks during the intermission interview with Dan Potash.

Potash: Something about Kovalchuk.

Recchi: Yeah, he's the top player in the -- one of the top 2 players in the NHL.
He has 38 goals.

We have some finely tuned jobdar, so you know that was a smack on Crosby,
especially when he added the goal total to the statement.

..........................................................................

THIRD PERIOD

The Pens come out and get a quick power play.
EC gets a huge chance. Kari Lehtonen says go to hell.

That French dude has been the thorn in our sacks all game.
He gets a shorthanded breakaway and snipes it past Conk. 3-0.

After Lehtonen puts another brick in the wall with a stop on Laraque, A.C. Slater puts one home. 4-0.


We've posted some graphic male pictures in our day.
This one is probably the most offensive.

Conk gets pulled. Sabu goes between the pipes.
We have our Conk sunglasses on, so we'll say that the Pens should have had at least a couple goals on the board. to help the cause.

The third period drifted past the 10:00 mark, and wait, there's a goal. 4-1.
Prideblog.

There was still time. But not tonight.
If you have watched enough hockey, you can feel it.

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PSA BLOG

If anyone wants a good program that is like Photoshop, we recommend [GIMP]
It is a free download, and it is gold.

..................................

The Pens took their 22nd penalty of the night as time disappeared.
"Kill it. Whatever." -- Pens Nation.

Father time enters the building, and all you can hope for is for someone to run Bobby Holik.
Nothing going on.

One thing of note"
Atlanta PD issued a search party for Marian Hossa.



Everyone wants him, but is he even good?
Unless the Penguins are planning to do magic shows with disappearing acts, they should not trade for him.

Lame.

.............................................

STATS
  • Whitney: 1G
  • Crosby: Natural hat trick on his PS3.

MISCELLANEOUS
  • Kari Lehtonen can be a big deal when he wants to be.
  • Does Marian Hossa play for the Thrashers? Seriously. Did he play tonight?
  • Don Wad is a moron.
  • Did Kris Beech walk in from Canada?
  • What's with Atlanta? Their P.A. announcer has to inform the fans every time there's an offsides, when there's an icing, and even says teams when teams go to even-strength while play is in progress. Stupid. If Mellon Arena did that, there would be stunners handed out.

Wednesday, January 30, 2008



7:00 PM



Huge game.

The Pens are in midst of 4 games in 6 days
and like 32 games in 67 days or some craziness.

We were gonna bring up when is the right time to spot-start Sabu,
but that question will be futile shortly when MAF returns.

There's gonna be some solid arguments from both fan camps of MAF and Conk on who should be getting the most starts.
But that's for another day that is rapidly approaching.

But for tonight, we think Conk gets the start.


-- David Bel --

Yeah, we do.

............................................................................

It must suck for Malkin, Gonchar, and Letang who have don't want to board another flight departing for Atlanta anytime soon.

.........................................................

Conk gets another shout-out. [ NHL.com ]
-- David K. --

John Stevens is crying about Laraque's nonexistent suspension. [ Yahoo ]
-- Brad Berk --


HutchJnk

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When In Rome. PENS WIN.

[pit.png][njd.png]
4 - 2

[ NHL.com RECAP ]

We don't know what is going to happen the rest of the season.

But when you walk into New Jersey and beat the Devils at their own game,
you did something.

Getting production from Staal, EC, and Malone is more important than anyone could have hoped for.

People will always be on Michel Therrien. But give the guy some credit, if only for this game.
He had his battered team focused and ready to start the second half of the season.

To A-T-L we go.

.......................................


-- DeathbyEmu --

Kris Beetch didn't show up for the game, which sums up his career.
[We stole that joke from someone in c-blog]

......................................

National Anthem


-- Jack G --


-- Andrew P --

.............................................................

FIRST PERIOD


It was the tale of two teams for the first 6 minutes or so.

The Pens were flying around.

The Devils didn't know what was going on.
They were offsides about 8 times.

Despite some textbook cycling, Marty Brodeur was turning everything aside.

He made every save with a level of smug never seen before...
...Which, if you have ever watched a Pens-Devils game, is the typical script.
Brodeur keeps the Devils around until the Devils get a break.

Bam. The Penguins jump was halted when Jordan Staal went to the box for a high stick.
They almost survived it, but Mike Rupp and his huge balls were no match for Daryl Sydor, as he popped it over a spread-eagle Conklin to put the Devils ahead.


1-0.

Ryan Malone=Stunned.

There's louder cheers for a priest coming out for a big mass than what the 8 people in attendance displayed after that goal.

As visions of an eventual 2-0 Devils win danced in your head, all you were left to do was watch Orpik get acclimated to his winger position.

-- Ryan O'Shea --
What a picture

Alain Nasreddine got the job done during the time he was on the ice in the first.
A number-6 defenseman's credo: If you don't notice him, it's a good thing.

Speaking of d-men, Kris Letang took a puck to the grille, and considering the Penguins recent luck, you expect Letang to go down with rubber poisoning or some shit.

Towards the end of the period, Jarkko Ruutu put the Pens behind the 8 ball with a stupid interference penalty.
What followed was the quickest and most uneventful power play ever.
The Devils do hit the post on a desperation shot, though.
If it would have went in, you could have simulated the rest of the season.

There was an empty feeling going into the first intermission that no one can explain.
It was kind of like the time good friend and long-time reader Ronald McDonald got led away by the police for some inappropriate behavior in the playground.


............................................................

SECOND PERIOD

If you've been alive more than a week, you know Jordan Staal has to step up in Crosby's absence.

Early in the second, he drives to the net, and the puck disappears.
Staal raises his arms, the referee points.

Whatever.

Count it.
1-1.

As the fast-moving second period hit its stride, Devil turd Aaron Asham elbows Kris Letang in the chops.
The Pens power play looked like a train wreck. No dice.

Why are faceoffs a big deal?
Because in the wrong hands, faceoffs can result in Mike Rupp scoring a cheap goal. 2-1.

Mike Rupp doesn't score all year. All of sudden he scores two goals tonight?
Not our year.
The Penguins weren't gonna make the playoffs after that goal; that's how bad it felt.

But a couple minutes later, the hockey gods sent Erik Christensen into the Devils zone.

The Devils make a huge mistake, Max Talbot flips the puck out in front.
Christensen gets the puck point-blank range in front of the net.
Without thinking, he turns Brodeur into a woman.

2-2.

We're not psychiatrists, but when a player instinctively goes to that move, confidence is there.
And the big knock on Christo has always been his confidence. Digusting move.

The Pens got their first lead of the night soon after when Malkin's line goes to town.

Tic-Tac-Malone.

3-2.
If Peter Sykora is ever on the third line again, we are taking a building hostage in Pittsburgh.

Brian Gionta decides to cheapshot Jeff Taffe.
Gionta is then surrounded by BGL and Brooks Orpik.
Gionta pees himself.

Powerplayblog.
They moved the puck around, but Brodeur decided to start playing hockey again.
He goes into the Malkin Savings & Loan and robs him.


Robs him of a handkerchief, apparently.

A huge one-goal lead going into the third.

................................................................

THIRD PERIOD

Huge stat is revealed. The Pens are 21-1-1 or something when leading after two periods.
Sergei Brylin helps the cause. He takes a penalty?
Fox sports refuses to show a replay. Did Orpik draw it?

Powerplay Blog comes out flying.
Gonch makes a nice pass to Sykora. Post. Puck jobs out in front.

Ryan Malone eventually bats a puck out of mid-air past Brodeur.


4-2.

Later in the period, Zach Parise exhibits that he's a moron.
If you're gonna try to job, take the penalty like a man if you're caught.

He blatantly holds Scuderi's stick and gets a penalty for it.
Shut up and go to the box.

Yeah, that didn't matter anyway, 'cause SuperStar slashes someone's stick in two pieces.
The Pens kill that one off eventually.

The clock moved over the 10:00 hump, and it was time for the Devils to go to their neighborhood pharmacy and pick up a prescription for their own medicine.



If you played with yourself in enjoyment as you watched the Devils flail about through the neutral zone, you are not alone.

As a last ditch effort, Brodeur heads to the bench.

Game.

STATS
  • Malone: 2 G
  • Sykora, Talbot: 2 A
  • Malkin: 1 A
  • Christensen: 1 G, 1 A
  • Conk: 24 saves
MISCELLANEOUS
  • Mike Rupp providing your team's only offense: Unless you're playing a team of ferrets, you aren't going to win.
  • The second line was out of its mind.
  • Four straight wins in New Jersey.
  • EC's goal was life-changing.
  • Orpik held his own.
  • Conk or Sabu tomorrow?
  • Good times.
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[<span class=

Special jobber of the week award goes to Ryan Whitney.

His thoughts on Kris Beetch not being able to get into America. [trib]

He could get into Canada, I bet," Pens defenseman Ryan Whitney said. "That would never be a problem. You play hockey, you can get into Canada.

"America's got no respect for the NHL."

"We got all these people from Mexico and all these guys coming in, and Beech can't get in," Whitney said. "I don't get it; he speaks English.

No one knows if these comments were made tongue-in-cheek of foot-in-mouth.

.........................................

Go Pens
They play again in like 8 minutes.


Tuesday, January 29, 2008



What a building.

7:00



..................................................

Hard to believe there's only 30-some games left.

What a huge game to start off with coming out of the ASG break,
which is hopefully the last time we have to use those initials.

All the hype surrounding the call-up of Alain Nasreddine came to a head today,
when news of Brooks Orpik playing on the wing tonight swarmed across the internet.

[ Pittsburgh Sports Insider ], the hardest-working site on the internet, has the lines for tonight.

1st Line: Malone - Malkin - Sykora

2nd Line: Talbot - Staal - Christensen

3rd Line: Ruutu - Taffe - Filewich

4th Line: Orpik - Smith - Laraque

You have to assume Ty Conklin will be between the pipes.

.........................................................................................

Jay Pandolfo will not be dressing tonight for New Jersey,
which means the Devils will score one less goal than they usually do against the Pens.


Go Pens

When was the last time anyone anywhere in the world woke up and said,
"Yes!!! We play the Devils tonight"?

Hockey fans have a fix that couldn't be satiated by the All-Star Game.
We were going to recap the All-Star Game.
But then the Atlanta Boys Choir sang the national anthem, so we couldn't.

There are some things that have gone down over the weekend:


The most interesting move was the call-up of D-man Alain Nasreddine.
[ Penguins.com ]

The Pens have also picked up Kris Beech off waivers and called up forward Nathan Smith.


Picture: The Pens locker room

Why has Shero waited this long since Eaton's injury to call up a 7th defenseman?
People study the stock market and know what to look for before shit goes down.


There's been solid discussion in C-blog about the pros and cons of Orpik and Nazzer.

But if you're trying to find a reason for this call-up, it may be the unforeseen possibility of Shero dealing Brooks Orpik, who will be a highly sought-after free agent this offseason.

This may be Nazzer's test-drive.

No one knows what the return for Orpik could be, but a semi-established winger with potential would make sense. Or maybe another d-man.
We may be talking out of our butthole on this whole thing.
But it's the kind of trade that blindsides you.

All we have to say is Brooks Orpik is an underrated passer.

.....................................................

There are several others rumors surfacing. It is basically going to be a month-long process of doing this.
One possible trade partner might be the Blues?

Andy Strickland from [ hockeybuzz ] had some interesting insight on the Blue situation.

===========

And why was Nathan Smith called up?

We can't find a link anywhere, but there were reports that Kris Beech had immigration issues and can't get out of Canada in time for the Devils game.
We're serious.

Nathan Smith may just be the filler until Beech can assuredly join the team.

[PSI] is reporting that Colby Armstrong is out tonight with an illness.

.........................................................................

Speaking of Kris Beech, easily the most reviled player in a Penguins uniform,
commentorblog found this gem where he rips on the Penguin logo at the end of the video.



Great find by [Empty Netters]

That jobber better score 5 goals in his first game.
Make it 6.

Staying on the Kris Beech kick,
reader Chris Bags edited the Penguins [ Wikipedia ] page.

It was quickly disposed of, but solid foresight to get the screenshot.


[ Click to enlarge ]

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-- NHL Out Three To Five Weeks With Sprained Right Poster Boy [ The Onion ]


What a pic.

[ESPN] goes balls-out on a huge Crosby article.
You may think it is too long.

But Scott Burnside does a good job, especially in talking about how Colby Armstrong and Crosby watch TV together.

Crosby then says his roommate has a television secret of his own ... "Ellen."

"I'm going to throw him under the bus on that one. He loves Ellen DeGeneres," Crosby says.

Right before a pregame nap?

"No, it's right after. It's hilarious. To a T, we wake up from our nap and that show's coming on and she's dancing."

When Armstrong finds out Crosby has spilled the beans, Armstrong drags a reporter over to Crosby and announces loudly that he wants to do the interview over, that he's going to reveal Sid's affection for Chandler on "Friends."

Crosby interrupts, revealing that not only does Armstrong love "Ellen" but he also likes to dance along to her show opening.

Good stuff.

There are some other great stories in there as well.
If you plan on taking a 45-minute dump at some point today, look it up.

This was pretty funny.




Hmmmmmm......................

...............................................................


Jason W. sent this in.

* Someone in C-blog mentioned that Gary Roberts is back on skates.
Was that just a tongue-in-cheek reference to ASG photoshop?

If we would miss any news on Roberts' return, we would jump off a building.


[Andrew McDonald]

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[ana.png]
Teemu Selanne is back, jack. [ TSN ]
The NHL may actually play another ASG just so another undeserving Duck can make the team.


No dig on Selanne, though.
The NHL will lose a beast when he retires.

Unless the NHL decides to use soccer nets,
Selanne's record of 76 goals by a rookie will never be touched, unless the record morphs into a 12-year-old boy and moves to an Ottawa suburb.

He will forever be remembered for the goal celebration where he threw his glove up and "shot" it with his stick like it was a clay pigeon.

Since there are about 400 embedded vids on this main page,
here's the link to that goal celebration. [ YouTube ]

[ott.png]
Goalie Ray Emery was late for practice again. [ TSN ]

All we can say is this.
We know a guy who knows a guy.
And he took a picture of Emery as he arrived for practice.




[chi.png]
Coach Denis Savard wants his team to "commit to the Indian." [ Chicago Tribune ]


Judging by the description in that article, here are the shirts fans are making. [ Cafe Press ]
We already have one on the way.

[ Kukla's Korner ] found this vid of Savard's now-infamous quote.




.........................................................

During the journey through all those 1990's Penguins GeoCities pages,
there was a link that we totally blew past.


[ Mike Lange's Goal Calls ]

John C. asked us for it, which triggered our memory.

Hurry up, before that site's bandwidth gets jobbed.
If you don't download all those to your computer, shame on you for six weeks.

..............................

We will most likely find a way to use "One From The Heart" as much as possible.
Someone in c-blog asked if Ron Newcomer can be seen at the 1:38 mark of the first video.



It is close.
You can just feel that he is in that video somewhere.

........................

Go Pens

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