Wednesday, December 10, 2008

The Ovechkin Counter-Offensive



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Good day.

In the coming month, Penguins fans and Caps fans from around the world will form the most unholy alliance to date. And we will be launching the largest internet battle in the history of the NHL.

NHL -- Those letters should have new meaning for all of us today. We can't be consumed by our petty differences anymore, like the fact the Pens own the Caps in the postseason.

We will be united in our common interest of jobbing Montreal Canadien fans and getting Alex Ovechkin into the starting lineup for the All-Star Game. Perhaps it's fate that bitter rivals have decided to join forces, not to fight tyranny, oppression, or persecution, but to cause humiliation to smug Canadien fans. We are fighting for our right to see the best three players in the world play on the same line, to enjoy it.

And should we win the vote, the All Star Game will no longer be known as a celebration of 100 years of Montreal Canadien fanboyness, but as the day the hockey world declared in one voice:

"We will not go quietly into the night. We will not let fans who have a unrealistic sense of entitlement have their way. We're going to live on. We're going to watch the Malkin-Crosby-Ovechkin line."


MMMYYYYEEEAAAARRRGGGGHHHH!

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::


12.10.08 -- 3:52 P.M.
Typing OVECHKIN on your phone will make the T9 typing on your phone spell out DOUCHEBAG, so you can actually just type OVIE to 81812.

TEXT "OVIE" TO 81812

110 comments:

roachai said...

still think they need to give us something in return.....fleury would be a great tradeoff

Raybin said...

Consider me inspired.

The Staff = clutch because they can come up with lines like this one--Typing OVECHKIN on your phone will make the T9 typing on your phone spell out DOUCHEBAG--on short notice

Reposting my comment from the "Breaking News" thread below, just because I can:

Voting for Ovechkin is like voting for one of our own players, since the Caps have been the legitimate property of the Penguins for nearly 20 years now.

christina said...

DO IT.

Raybin said...

Who knows if Fleury will have even played 20 games by January 2nd?

Make them really work for this, by promising us 500,000 votes for Letang or Scuderi

Bengui said...

And what about Fleury ! =(

roachai said...

agreed, some sort of trade needs to be implemented to get me 2 vote A. jOke into the starting lineup

Josh said...

We need to vote Malone into the starting line up. Think how embarassed he would be. It would be hillarious. Plus it might screw Tampa Bay even more on his deal since I am sure he has a bonus for making the team. Pure Evil.

bayonetwork said...

COMMIT

Timothy Friez said...

OV to 818-12...

"Sorry, we can't identify your vote"

Tony said...

I posted it on KK boys...

http://www.kuklaskorner.com/index.php/tc/comments/penguins_capitals_fans_unite_to_get_ovechkin_into_all_star_game_starting_li/

Tony

Paul said...

OV is a caveman.

Matt Betush said...

u gotta spell out ovechkin.

roachai said...

screw ovechkin unless the caps fans agree to vote in fleury or another penguin....it will be a cold day when i cast my vote for that sonofa bitch without getting something in return

Rob said...

For the love of Goddard, just vote for Ovechkin because he is the third best player in the east...seriously its the right thing to do.

We got Malkin and Crosby to the top, we don't need caps fans "help" to get Fleury over Price.

to raybin: you rock, but there is one small error in your last post...are there really 500,000 caps fans? really?

Cornelius Hardenbergh said...

So huge.

Rob said...

what I meant to say is, are there enough caps fans to even get to 500,000 votes?

dave said...

Anyone who is refusing to vote for Ovechkin is just as bad as the Montreal fanboys. I hate him too but he sure as hell deserves to start more than anyone on Montreal.

brett said...

yes, yes indeed.

Those of you familiar with the Penny Arcade online comic might know that they just finished this year's Dickerdoodle contest. I found one in there that I think those here might find funny.

The Big K said...

VOTE O.V.

He may be a d-bag, but he deserves to be in this game, and I'll have an orgasm at seeing a Crosby-Malkin-Ovechkin line.

brett said...

and for those of you who don't know,

yes, that's a penis.

made of pastry.

wilsmith said...

Do people realize this is a game?

People need to stop being so damn stubborn and just vote for the guy. Will you lose sleep at night if OV plays in the ASG? All he is guilty of is playing hard against the Pens, I dont understand the "I hate him because he hit our guy" talk.

Get over it. Checking, even checking the good players, is part of the game.

Rob said...

The other thing that I don't think some people are realizing is that Ovechkin is going to be in the All Star Game no matter what we do, unless he gets injured. So there is no big deal. the goal here is to not let Joku Koivu, or Alex "I have less goals than tyler kennedy" Kovalev in the starting lineup. none of those 3 queeradiens players deserve to play in the ASG, much less start!

x-materialize-x said...

Anyone who is refusing to vote for Ovechkin is just as bad as the Montreal fanboys. I hate him too but he sure as hell deserves to start more than anyone on Montreal.

Word.

kstewy16 said...

Commit to the Dave!!!!!

(doesn't "the dave" sound so much cooler than "dave"???)

Victor Raison said...

Ask not what your Pensblog can do for you, but what you can do for your Pensblog.

IceCold... said...

wow, even though the cause is just...this is hard.

DO IT GOOD HOCKEY

J.S. said...

to second roachai's question...has a trade-off been made?

Pensblog readers vote for Ovechkin, and Caps readers vote for Fleury?

kstewy16 said...

What Caps blog did we make this agreement with? Are their even any caps blogs? Or are they just the closet pens fans who come to the Pensblog sometimes?
Oh well, Pensblog could probably get OV in by ourselves, but a few votes from the Sea of Red(except when they play the Pens) will help.

KTLA said...

Gentlemen! Let's plow the road!

BlacknGold66 said...

I personally don't give a rats ass who gets #3 in voting as long as Geno and Sid are #1 and #2.

I say screw texting Ovie and start texting our D-men (the ones that will actually be able to play) in if you're going to vote for anyone at all.

Let's just narrow it down to 2 and start going hog wild.

Scuds, Letang, Orpik... pick two and let's go nuts.

(btw, when I say pick 2... I really mean pick 1... pick either Letang or Orpik... Scuds gets my votes naturally.)

meecrofilm said...

Do it.

Also, Vote for Patty Kane and Toews out west. Kane is only 20,000-something back of knocking datsyuk out of the starting lineup.

BlacknGold66 said...

P.S. Yes, I totally believe in impossible goals.

kstewy16 said...

BNG, I agree that the defenseman need to get in, but I think getting all Montreal forwards out of the starting position will REALLY piss of Habs fans.

But as for who to vote in for d-men, we need to go Orpik and Letang.
Orpik because he will make it the hardest hitting All Star Game in history, and Letang because, well, its the ASG, you're supposed to play offense.

Raybin said...

Scuds and Letang are who I've been voting for. Scuderi has, what, less than 4000 votes? SHAMEFUL!

J.S. said...

in

f les habs

J.S. said...

and don't forget to vote for Orpik

meecrofilm said...

Oh, in case anyone didn't see it:

"I've been cleared by the doc, so it's good to go. It's just timing-wise and things like that." When asked if he could play next week, Fleury said, "I guess that sounds good."

Boucher also returned to practice.

There is a light.

Raybin said...

Though Hossa and Ovie are both giant dicks, I have to admit that the thought of two starting line ups....

Ovechkin-Crosby-Malkin

vs

Kane-Iginla-Hossa

...turns me on just a bit

Hand of Godard said...

That speech gave me goosebumps.

kstewy16 said...

Fleury's coming back soon, Boucher is coming back soon, Whitney is coming back soon.

I need to go take a cold shower.

KD said...

I agree with BnG...
Let's start texting for our d-men and get them up there.
I vote Orpik and Letang.

Raybin said...

By the first of the year, the Pens will likely have everyone but Gonch back.

To review, that's:

Fleury
Whitney
Kennedy
Gill
Zigomanis
Boucher

Good lord. This team is gonna fuck some serious shit up in the new year.

justincredibleh said...

@ meecrofilm....

I agree. Toews and Kane should be in. They're both nasty and it'd be fun to see them up against Sid/Ev/Ov.

Raybin said...

And before anyone says anything, yes, I know Hossa, Iginla and Kane are all right wings.

Who cares, baby!? It's the All-Star Game! Break all the rules!

Johnny Wrath said...

Entitlement. Fanboy. Unrealistic. Persecution.

Good day indeed.

Imagine the average Capitals fan using mathematics as a tool.

I can't stand Canadien fans, always with the "any habs rumors?", always with the francophone ruddy complexion evident in the vocabulary...

They've gone too far to stamp the ASG with the team logo. That "C" must stand for "conjectural". This movement is going to be legend. Go Pens.

Angelo said...

Doing some simple math, it seems Ovechkin has actually LOST ground since the Initiative began.

I say, screw Ovie (I actually really like him as a player), but I'd rather see efforts put towards getting Fleury or our own defensemen into the ASG. Fleury as a starter and Orpik/Letang/Goligoski in the bottom pairings.

Jonny Van Mundegaarde said...

meg from two posts ago, a good place to find tickets is craigslist, me and a friend bought some through it while waiting in line for student rush tickets and got pretty good seats for about 50 bucks each.

Dr. Turkleton said...

raybin said:

...turns me on just a bit

Really?



[Hossa]

BlacknGold66 said...

So a few questions in regards to the ASG:

1) How long until the votes actually show up on the website?

2) Compared to the East... does anyone out West actually watch hockey? Look at the vote differential. Perhaps is because we're all a little obsessed with our boys/pissing of Habs fans. Either is fine with me.

Scuds/Orpik

P.S. Turk is just gay for Hossa for his fantasy team.

[Heatley]

dave said...

sorry i still like kovalev and want him in the ASG

Schide said...

Ok well, good luck with this I guess. But he's like 300,000 votes behind so I wouldn't exactly count on it.

I'd rather have Kovalev get in for my Pap anyway.

TheSteelPen66 said...

Fleury is only 120 some odd thousand votes behind Carry (will suck for low) Price i saw we make a push for him to

diabeticsRcooler said...

Im absolutely disgusted by this

Carroll said...

@BNG - the numbers seem to change once an hour. The votes don't show up right away.

urban said...

1 - This moves me to tears.

B - You know that you can vote for more than one person at a time, right?

Then vote A.O., Fleury, Orpik, Letang, Scuds, whoever. Throw some more votes in for Bing and Geno while you're at it.

I said it before, and I'll say it again: if we can get A.O. into the top spot, douchebag or not, the three Habs forwards probably won't even make the cut. Ovie is going to be there no matter what. Getting them out completely would be one hell of a victory.

I think staff needs to post the concept behind the voting so that we can all get on the same page here. We're not getting A.O. into the game, we're getting the Habs out.

sens said...

I like the plan, but I would like it better if you added a world-class offensive back end. Markov can fit that description; offensively, Komisarek cannot.

That means it's time to stop voting for Gonchar and Whitney. As I posted a few days ago, it is not only fruitless that they still receive votes (acknowledging that a Penguins team vote does add to that tally, while also acknowledging that text voters do not represent the only increase in their vote tallies), but something to shake one's head at and chuckle about.

Any online votes could easily include the world-class back end skills of Chara or Mike Green (who could be included in a Washington team vote, and who may well be able to participate, unlike Gonchar and Whitney, who are both completely ineligible).

If you learn anything from watching the Sens play, you learn that without adequate puck movers, you cannot mount an effective attack, let alone even get safely out of your own end with any reliability. Against the top notch skills of the Western Conference and the presence of puck-posession experts from Detroit, does it not make sense to vote in a defenseman who has averaged more than 2 goals and 8 points a season over the course of six seasons?

Help your world class forwards out.

kstewy16 said...

Who invited Charlies friends in? Senators?

Really?

The Senators?

Why would we vote for who you consider "world class" when we can vote for who we KNOW are world class?

I give you....

Brooks Orpik


Kris Letang


Fuck the sens.

David said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Paul said...

Done. I feel dirty.

Will Job, for Pensblog.

MAC said...

THIS IS BULLSHIT, WE HAVE TO PUT FLEURY IN! WE HAV TO TAKE KOMISERAK OUT
FUCKITY FUCKHOLES

David said...

I'm out West and normally could care less about the East, but I will join in this noble crusade to stick it to the Canadiens.

amylynn37 said...

Ughhh It is sickens me to vote for Ovechkin. I can't blame the Canadien Fans for wanting some starters at the Host City. I voted my ass off everyday for Sid & Geno...the only positive is that I would love to see the Pens Fan/ Pensblog Make it happen. Oh fuck it...I'm in.

mallori said...

Best post made on HF ever, by a Habs fan (regarding the ASG):

"You know that your player will be booed if they are the starting lineup"

gilette212 said...

KEEP VOTING FOR SID AND GENO... and ovie. the pens aren't THAT far ahead at this point... don't let our efforts to get ovie in there backfire!!
oh and i vote brooks and letang for the d-men

mallori said...

Also, not sure if this has been posted or not, but supposedly Consol Energy won the naming rights for the arena.

Consol Energy Arena

chris l. said...

@ Paul

I hope your av is that dirty.

kstewy16 said...

I just don't get why people are still upset about this...

Its been mentioned a million times, but obviously to sink in, it needs to be mentioned again...

OVECHKIN WILL BE IN THE ASG WHETHER WE VOTE FOR HIM OR NOT.

The only thing this does is keep the habs out of the starting lineup, and possibly keep a couple of the habs out of the ASG all together, since none of them really deserve it.

christina said...

Consol Energy Arena...

as much as i was hoping we'd get some variation on Lemieux Gardens, for a corporate named arena that's not bad

Tom said...

This is great. I had actually boycotted the vote because I was SO FUCKING PISSED OFF that Tim Thomas will sit this game out. But now that there's actually something on the line - AND A CHANCE TO FUCK THE HABS BACK - I will join in this effort.

PS - Please write-in Tim Thomas just in case Fleury doesn't make the games-played cutoff. A successful write-in vote would double the Badass Factor in this whole scheme.

Rage said...

"I dont understand the "I hate him because he hit our guy" talk.

Get over it. Checking, even checking the good players, is part of the game."

I'm not an unreasonable man, and I fucking well know the difference in checking hard as a natural part of the game, and a dirty little cock-knocker trying to destroy somebody. If you have Center Ice, watch the Caps play other teams. You'll see it too, unless you're completely delusional.

With that I'm not saying to do it, or not to do it. Just don't try to insult my intelligence.

That's all I'm sayin'

Rage said...

@kstewy- you sir, make an excellent point. Well played.

Allison said...

@Dr. Turk-
that video is all kinds of awsome

meecrofilm said...

To Tom:

Only the goalie with the highest # of votes gets in purely based off voting.

The other two are selected by performance.

How does everybody not know this?

Jonny Van Mundegaarde said...

I needed some time to think about this, so I galloped into a wooden glen, and after punch-dancing out my rage and suffering an extremely long and very painful fall, I realized what had to be done...

Ovechkin must make the All-Star Game

debrisslide said...

I don't like the way Consol Energy Arena sounds. Ergh.

I know the new arena is probably going to be awesome, but for a sponsored name, Mellon Arena sounds fucking classy. You know, compared to Jobing.com Arena.

Doc Steel said...

Eh, it could have been worse that CONSOL Energy Arena. I'm still trying to figure out how, but it could have been!

At least we can call it "The Blast Furnace," or something legit like that.

dying alive said...

"You know that your player will be booed if they are the starting lineup"

Booing? In Montreal? How shocking!

I like CONSOL Energy Arena. CONSOL has been paying a shitload of money for advertising at the games and on FSN, so good for them. Plus it'll be nice to not have an arena that sounds like a fruit.

miche11e said...

The Pens do in fact power America.

I'll vote for "Ovie" but I hope he can play on a line without being gravitationally pulled towards Malkin at 100mph.

Stilly said...

Fuck AO. I'm with BnG. I'm voting for Letang and Orpik over and over. No amount of Habs fans' tears (which we already have an abundance of) is worth backing the biggest d-bag this side of Dallas.

e.mirchich said...

Wonder if Ovie will continue to head hund Geno while they are linemates. I hope Geno and Ovie throw down.

dying alive said...

According to the Caps board we're "mentally challenged" and "have no life."

That really hurts. I doubt they have any idea how much.

dying alive said...

Voting for Ovechkin is like voting for one of our own players, since the Caps have been the legitimate property of the Penguins for nearly 20 years now.

Ha, so very true.

Dr. Turkleton said...

whomever posted the NHL09 alternative jersey code a few cblogs ago...

Thank You.

for those that didn't see it: [I'm not a big gamer, but this worked for the XBOX 360...don't know if it works on other platforms, like PS3 or the Wii [for JS & r*g*b*]

xe6377uyrwm48frf

It was fun beating The Oren & Lennie Show in their BOLTS jerseys!

Allison...

Sidney Crosby's half-brother is hella funny! [even with the Timberlake cameo]

BNG66...

I wish I had [Hossa] on all three of my teams...but alas, I just have to be content with having him on only one.

CONSOL Energy: the largest producer of high-Btu bituminous coal in the United States.

[CONSOL Energy Arena: The Shaft.]

meecrofilm said...

Reading Bucci's latest article almost made me want to root for the Bolts. Almost.

and Pens could do a lot worse than the C.E.A for the new name, or as I like to pronounce it, "keeeyaaaaaah!!"

I've said it before and I'll say it again. Caps fans = twatweasels. I've yet to meet one in my life who isn't one.

Molly said...

"For the love of Goddard" hahhaha nice.
and yeah, i'm constanlty voting for crosby and malkin (so they don't get out voted), fleury (cause he's amazing) and OV (b/c we NEED him so the east can win)
GO PENNNNNNS! tonight. gonna beat the sabres. cause they suck

Allison said...

@Turk-uhh... I'm missing something with that sidney crosby half brother comment.
@Molloy- "GO PENNNNNNS! tonight. gonna beat the sabres. cause they suck"- ummmm, yeah on dec 22.

nikki said...

bahhhh im forced to watch the jersey channel tonight
on a side note, when you vote online, take a look at how much space OV's head takes up in his picture
the barbarian can't even fit

Dr. Turkleton said...

Allison...

family resemblance?

Allison said...

@dr turk_
OMG! ok, you have me dying over here. that actually just made that video 10x funnier, which i didnt think was possible.

debrisslide said...

Anyone having trouble with the atdhe.net feed of the Pens game? I can get the player to load for everything else. . .just not that game. Ugh.

Nulpher said...

Eh... naming the arena after Lemieux would've been better.

"Buries it" auditorium.

Lemieux Gardens (From above)

Hell... I would've settled for Mellon Arena II.

Consol Energy Arena just does not help us escape the reputation that we still cannot shake for being a smoky city. Hell, there are people who still believe Pittsburgh requires the street lamps to be on in the day...

Allison said...

@debris- yea it wont work for me at the moment either... the game is supposedly showing on yahoo if that helps

sens said...

I only suggested Chara and Green because they are faster to pick (click vs typing).

Is there not one soul that realizes the bass ackwards logic of voting in Ovechkin to complement the talent of Crosby and Malkin, while trying to vote in Orpik (.22 Points per game) and Letang (.44) on the back end? They're not the worst puckmovers, but in the East, they rank behind Green (.89), Markov (.85), Kuba (.76), Streit (.71), Hunwick (.67), McCabe (.65), Hainsey (.62), Wideman (.62), Kaberle (.61), Pitkanen (.60), Bouwmeester (.59), Seidenberg (.54), Timonen (.52), Girardi (.50), Spacek (.48), Chara (.48), White (.47), Rozsival (.47), and Oduya (.46). Ballard ties Letang's .44 and in 27 games as well, but has 3 goals to Letang's 1.

Put another way, Letang and Orpik are 55th and 103rd in scoring, in the League, by defensemen.

If you don't want to 'cripple' Crosby and Malkin in the starting lineup by pairing them with anyone but Ovechkin, why would you put their fine offensive engine in front of those two?

Bass ackwards, but I guess it's not fun to help your boys out.

Ashley said...

give us Letang or Orpik PLEASE. I must say, though, even if we Pens fans get nothing in return, I will still be happy if this works because I love pissing off Habs fans

dying alive said...

Our "fine offensive engine" plays in front of those guys 82 games a year. Thus far they're 1-2 in scoring. I'd say that they're not exactly being crippled.

CapsKremlin said...

http://capitalskremlin.blogspot.com/

We're in on this. In return we vote Gonchar and you vote Green.

MAF is a given (theo sucks)

Caps/Pens vs the West....

sens said...

No, they aren't crippled, and yet you choose to put Ovechkin on the wing, rather than a write-in for Sykora or Staal, suggesting you realize there *are* good players that are not in Pittsburgh, and players that likely have a better ability to contribute than Brooks or 'Tang.

Look at those defensemen, and you'll find a lot like Streit: firing pucks to talents far less than Crosby and Malkin, and yet able to put up far better numbers.

Completely crippling? No, but it's just like putting regular gas in a Ferrari; to those who don't understand a Ferrari, it might not seem like much, but to those who know supercars, it's a mindboggling decision.

Chad said...

what an embarrassment to Pittsburgh to vote for that loser. Yes there is a caps board and they are laughing at pens fans for this!!!!! good job you goofs

P.O. said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
P.O. said...

seeing this made me die a little bit inside... so sad... im going to go read mondesishouse.com now.. atleast they would never suggest voting for ray lewis for the pro bowl or something like that... so disappointed

Tom said...

@meecrofilm -

The way I understood it, the players represented on the ballot are the pool from which the final rosters are chosen. Perhaps I was misinformed.

Either way, it doesn't change the fact that Habs fans are the pinnacle of douchebaggery.

Angelo said...

Ovechkin Initiative = fail?

The gap has widened between Ovie and the Habs since the plan was hatched. Just concentrate on keeping Malkin above the Canadiens and possibly getting a Pens dman into the ASG.

jovi said...

this is a sad day

jovi said...

@ dave

i believe in spite ... can't vote 4 Ovi, i already burned the bridge to the phone.

anti-OV STAND STRONG

TheSteelPen66 said...

just think, this is the ultimate blow to Caps fans. Its going to take us, their arch enemy's, to get their cheap hitting, head hunting, caveman looking like, lowlife douche bag of a star into the ASG starting line up. NOT TO MENTION the face that we did it while surging our two world class forwards in there and by the time its all said and done maybe even a goalie.

Long Island Pens Fan said...

As much as I hate the Washington Craps, their fans, and everything about that orginization; you can't deny the pure talent of Alex Ovechkin. Here's the question....if Sid, Geno, and Ovie are all playing on the same line: Can Ovechkin stop himself from flying at Geno at a 100mph to slam his fellow Russian into the boards? And seriously....what fuckin right of entitlement does Montreal think they have? That teams been a joke since Patrick Roy left in the 95-96 season.

JonnyP said...

Caps fan here ...

I just want to say that I've voted for Fleury all along. I think he should be in the ASG ... so I'll continue to vote for Fluery as trade-off for your Ovechkin votes :)

The Peerless said...

@ LIPF...

Ovechkin will wait until Malkin scores, then kill him in the celebration.

Hip said...

I'm switching it up tonight and hitting up the Souper Bowl with some friends.

Desperate times will get Hip to leave her pad on a weeknight.

If we lose tonight we're not making the playoffs.

Joel said...

im tierd of this crap who would want to see a injury prone goalie in Fleury when I could see a TALENTED goalie in Price or Lundquivst this is a joke
When I vote, I vote for good players Ovie,Malkin,Crosby,Markov,Green and Price
do we really want to see Letang, Orpik and Fleury NO! besides the league won't allow it like Rory Fitzpatrck last year. It should go back to when the league just picked the players so it wold be fair
by the way im a HABS fan

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