Friday, October 10, 2008

Rick Roll Over

Apologies to anyone thinking we were insulting you by Rickrolling you.
Or putting you on blast for being rickrolled.

The person's reaction to the Rickroll is what it's all about.
We were all there at one point in time.


Pittsburgh Steeler blog ONE FOR THE OTHER THUMB
invited us to partake in a 5-question survey.

We were honored.
In cooperation with that post, we've decided to mirror our financial-crisis solution here.

305-315 million people live in America.
Give every citizen $1 million.
That's $315 million.
That beats the $700 billion being handed to banks.

A stipulation of the $1 million is that you would have to pay off
any outstanding debts you may have.

And if you're $1 million in debt right now, shoot yourself.

The leftover money after paying off debts would be infused back into the economy.
People buying up stupid shit.
Some people may quit their jobs after they are given $1 million.
No one will be around to build the stupid shit for us to buy.

But this whole plan would never work.
This entire country is built on people living in debt.

People buying shit they don't need with money they don't have is the American Dream,
so said George Carlin.

This plan may not make any sense at all.
But $1 million will be solid.


justincredibleh said...


christina said...

That's it, I'm writing in Pensblog staff on Election Day.

brett said...

I enjoy speculation as much as the next guy..

but the day that The Pensblog can turn 1 dollar per person into 1 million dollars per person is the day that I cheer for the Flyers.

Cotter said...

I firmly believe that with the leadership of the Pensblog, our country can unite and overcome this "crisis" by adhering to and embracing the principles set forth herein. Especially the part about shooting ones-self.

That said, I liked your original answer - "What crisis?" - just as much.

Thanks for the link, dudes! It was an honor to have you!

Lady Jaye said...

But brett if Pensblog could turn one dollar into one million dollars per person, that would make us really rich Pens fans. That's a good thing right?

brett said...

To further the reality of this:

The 700 billion is coming from taxpayer money. Let's make this simple and say there are 100 million american citizens who pay federal tax.

700 billion dollars / 100 million people is 7000 dollars per person.

This means that this bailout is going to cost each american taxpayer somewhere in the order of magnitude of thousands of dollars.

So in reality, we could give every taxpayer, say, 5000 dollars. But it's our own money we're getting. It's our tax money.

Stanley P. Kachowski said...

Isn't $1 million given to 315 million people does equals $315 trillion, which is >>> $700 billion?

Stanley P. Kachowski said...

^^^Not really the Queen's English, but what I meant was I think that plan actually gives each citizen 1 dollar, not 1 million dollars.

Joose said...

If I had a million bucks, I'd buy one of those new fancy Pittsburgh lofts and furnish it...and Pens season tickets for the rest of a good portion of my life.

The economy can suck it.

BJ said...

By that logic, you could give everyone 1 billion dollars, and solve the problem.

timvillenet said...

Pensblog fails at math.

Go back to RickRolling.

BlacknGold66 said...

Pensblog = Failed at economics class.

If you give everyone in America 1 million bucks then inflation fucks us in the ass so hard that we're no longer able to function as a country.

CK3 said...

That's Al Gore quality fuzzy math right there.

Sam's dog said...

Fail City

brett said...

On second thought..they got their math wrong, but this is a hockey blog. The only economics we should be talking about is the price of next year's season ticket package.

so with that, i tell the me of one hour ago to shut up.

wilsmith said...

Yes, Kevin, math is hard.

Rage said...

I gotta say, math fail or no, I'm digging the staff these days.


Do it

jimmypop6996 said...

Another problem in this 'solution' is that how many little kids and babies would be getting a $1 mil. check? Families with 4-5 children would be unnecessarily wealthy in this instance.

luvnmypens said...

Double M is back on the air starting Monday from 3 to 6 pm according to Sidney Crosby.

TheFandangler said...

I'll take the mill then move north of the border....or we could all put our dollars together and bid on the pens.

Then the pensblog might become an official penguins site.

Endless possibilities...

Max Power said...

If everyone got a million $ I would take my money and buy all the top notch equipment to help me steal other people's money. It would be a moral imperative at that point. Then I would buy the flyers and sell them to some other state.

P.O. said...

i would pay off my pens tickets, buy an actual authentic jersey (not the "authentic" jersies i usually get from ebay) and get the biggest bottle of tequilla i can find... now whos with me...

nikki said...

hahaha yeah guys, $315 million would only give $1 mil to 315 people
i see what you're saying tho haha

Aron said...

move over alan greenspan

johnny said...

Financial Budgetingblog:


Right now I'm a grad student living on a very fixed income down in Florida. I was looking into getting NHL Center Ice, but the price tag seemed kind of steep. I realize it comes out to like $2 and change a game, but did the jobbers at Comcast raise the price this year?

Thanks for any advice on the matter.

Let's Go Pens!

J.S. said...

regardless of thepensblog's plan adding up or not, I'm rich! I didn't even have to buy a ticket.


We are pleased to inform you of results of our cyber lotto draw of the promotional International lottery Programs.

The online electronic-raffle draws was conducted from an exclusive list of
25,000,000 e-mail accounts picked by an advanced automated computer search from the world wide web.

However,no tickets were sold.

After the automated computer ballot collection, your e-mail address emerged as a winner (category "A") with the following numbers attached
(Ref Number: PW EH 9590 OG 0612 , Batch Number: 563881545-NL/2008 and Ticket Number: PA 3502 /8707-01

You are therefore to receive a cash prize of $2,500,000,000.00.
(Two Million Five Hundred Thousand United States Dollars) from the total payout sum!

(blah..blah...blah....blah...send money to get money...)

Tawm said...

Ya, sure, that sounds great, give everyone in the country a million dollars. They have a word for that, it's called socialism.

BlacknGold66 said...

Kool-Aid Man Johnny:

With Center Ice (I believe) pricing isn't usually decided by the cable carrier (whether it be Comcast, Cox, DirecTV, Dish, etc.) it's usually decided by whomever runs Center Ice (much like the NFL Ticket package is run by the NFL people, etc. etc.)

It's usually right around the $160 dollar range every year. (Don't be fooled by the "Early Bird Special" either... it's not a special. It's going to be the same price in a month. But might-as-well get it now and get every game.)

So I don't believe that the price was raised this year. If so, only by maybe $5 or $10.

Living out of market... well... it's totally worth it. Sure it averages to about $2 per Pens game. But if you watch more than just the Pens that average get's lower and lower. (Does that makes sense?) Plus a game against the Leafs in November will feel like a $2 game.

But a double OT game in March against a division rival will feel like it's worth $40. So you basically get your money's worth.

So... now that I've totally confused you and everyone else....

If you have the cash to do it (don't forget you don't have to pay it all at once... you can pay like $40 a month for four months) Whatever you do... don't wait until halfway through the season when they claim to have a special. They'll only knock about $20 off the price for half the season. (When they should knock off about half the price. Lame.)

I hope that helps in some way.

@J.S.: DUDE! Congrats man! I won too! Let's buy an island together. (God I love Nigeria... they've made me so rich. And I've helped so many ridiculously cute girls in dire need of money.)

nikki said...

i live up in canada and with nhl center ice i get to see all my pens games wooo
but in general- for a hockey fan, it's pretty much god's gift to earth

jtp2106 said...

A little more Finance Blog here:

Your math oversimplifies things. That 700 billion dollars of bailout money will is going to take illiquid asset off the hands of investment banks that are losing tons of money from those said assets. The government will pick up those assets so those banks won't fail like Bear Stearns and AIG have already. The government will hold on to those so banks don't have to sell them for pennies on the dollar. What should happen is that those assets will regain value soon. When that happens, the government will put those back on the market and hopefully recoup some of the money. If the government didn't do that, it would be impossible to secure credit. Had the bailout not happened, companies wouldn't be able to borrow money to make payroll and operate day to day. If you wanna know how hard it is to get credit right now, try getting a loan for a car or a house right now. It's almost impossible right now.

We'll get a lot of that money back. When they had the S&L bailout in the late 80's, the government got back most of their money.

I just thought I'd clarify that a little bit for you guys. I work in finance in NY right now. I'm not Wall Street scum...the guys you should vent your anger are getting what they deserve. Believe that.

Help Me Rhonda said...

Woooow, math is not staff's strong suite. I guess the big FAIL arrow is pointing to this for a reason.

Joose said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Joose said...

The English language is not Rhonda's strong "suite."

Lady Jaye said...

Well the government could just print more invisible money and give us a million... The govt takes enough money from me each year, now they have me in debt up to my eyeballs in tax money that they're planning out from me to bail out dumbass companies.... One day the dollar is really going to be worth monopoly money.

Arg I'm ranting about govt on pensblog... need home opener tomorrow now!!

PittHockey said...

2258 per person.

I'd still take it over bailouts.


Help Me Rhonda said...

OMG, Joose, you're so right!!one!!@12!

*strong suit

Feel better?


LargeTurkey said...

did you seriously think that giving 1 mil to 315 mil people would only add up to 315 million? was that a joke?

Tyhawk10 said...

OK OK hopefully everyone reading this caught the mathematical error. Math unintentionally jobbed pensblog. If there were merely 315 people living in the U.S., giving each of them 1 mill would total 315 million.

But 315 MILLION people live in the U.S. Giving them each 1 dollar would total 315 million.

Giving 315 MILLION people EACH 1 MILLION dollars is.....a big number haha
(315,000,000,000,000 to be exact) which is in fact more than 700 bill.


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