Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Praying-Zigomanis. PENS WIN.


Probably the most homo thing you can do besides having sex with another man
is harp on something that happened last season.

We'll never use the "Oh, where were you in the ECF?" line for Flyer fans.
There's nothing more annoying than when somebody says that to you if the tables are turned.

It's annoying, and it'd be funny to say it,
but we lose respect for fans of other teams who say that shit.

Did some boo birds make an appearance this evening in the first period?
Do you think the Pens could hear those boos if they were in Kansas City?

We'd say the snobby businessmen who touch more balls than your Aunt Minnie when she assisted on the PA Lottery were responsible for the boos, but they've probably killed themselves by now over the financial crisis.

Whatev. We miss Gonchar.
The power play is contributing to global warming, emanating poofs of suck into the ozone.
Goligoski is a machine when it comes to holding it in the zone.

-- Canaan --

-- Daver --


The teams were playing grab-boob early on.
After nothing happened, Godard and Cote dropped the gloves.
It was a heavyweight bout, no question about it.
Godard dropped a haymaker at the end to seal the deal.

Crosby drew a penalty soon after.
Mike Richards gives him the business at the ensuing faceoff.
Maybe Richards was tying to teach Crosby how to dive.


Crosby came full circle, taking a penalty when he jobbed some dude's stick.
The rest of the first was really poop city.
Talbot had a shortie breakaway but forgot to deke.

Mike Richards decided to be a great captain and cheap-shot the Tank.
What a role model.


As seen on Versus:

Oh man.

The man behind the picture emailed us:




The second period started with the Pens shorthanded 5-on-3 and Scoods making some big saves.

- William Smith -

The Pens jumped onto the power play a little bit into the second, and they were on acid.
It was good to watch.
But you could tell that top unit was lulling the Flyers into a sense of complacency so Free Candy could float one into the net.


Our mission is to have everyone throw Tootsie Rolls into the ice after a Orpik goal.
Or feces.

All of a sudden, it just looks like the Pens clicked.
Cookie operating from behind the net finds Ziggy in the slot.

Praying-Zigomanis is in the best shape of his life. 2-0.

The Pens had a couple chances after that to hump the Flyers into submission, but Nittyjoki might have taken a goaltending class over the summer.

The classy Flyers want to stay in the game, though.
Maybe the Pens let up a little too early in the second.
Maybe they were thinking about going to and buying jerseys that they signed.

Before you knew it, the turds had tied the game up at 2.
We kind of missed that eerie silence that envelops the Mellon when all you can hear is the away team whooping and hollering.

It set up a sweet third period.



Another opportunity on the powerplay right out of the gate in the third period.
Same results.

Staal nearly deposited the go-ahead goal, kicking a loose puck to his stick in the crease, but he threw it wide of the gaping net.

Man advantages were traded back and forth to no avail.
Both powerplay units were worse than your mom's meatloaf and sex.

The remaining time in regulation dwindled and both teams settled in defensively, picking up the one point and heading into OT.


The 4-on-4 OT was like being able to go back and have sex with that hot girl from high school who you had sex with back then but didn't know what you were doing.

It was awesome.
Back and forth, back and forth.
Daniel Briere still sucks a lot.

[Mike F.]

Were we gonna finally see a shootout this year? The Pens have been putting in more overtime than Oprah's fork.

Hold the phone. Candy gives a pass to Dupuis.
He comes down the left wing on a mission.
He lets go with a slapper.


  • The Flyers still haven't won this year.
  • Syko back in the lineup. Nice.
  • Three Penguin games have been decided on the left wing in OT this season.
  • Dupuis played a solid game on the PK.
  • The main play-by-play guy for Versus wasn't bad. He doesn't take himself seriously.

Woops. Sorry about that.
While typing the recap, we left Versus on and got tricked into watching "Sports Soup."

Sadly, sports doesn't write the jokes for the show.


Maybe the Red Wings can save the ecomony by showing it how to clutch and grab.



jefe p said...

bring on the caps.

sh0ez said...

Wooo! Great game.

The one picture in the recap makes the second 77/78-79/80 jersey that I've seen with a player on it who never wore the damn thing. Earlier today I saw a kid with a Malkin version. And this is Buries It version. Obviously, this one is fine because he played in every season of hockey since the beginning of man, but Malkin? C'mon. That kid probably has Igloo seats paid for by his Dad's company. Sorry for the rant. Ha ha. It just peeves me.

Dupuis is solid on PK. He needed a buries it goal, and he came through.

Player T's numbers so far this season:
Tank 1-0
LeGame 1-0
Gill 0-1
Satan 0-1

sh0ez said...

Hell yes, jefe.

Annie said...

Haha, that dude's sign gave me an idea for a sign to make for the Bruins game next Monday.

PittHockey said...

zigomantis, nice

PittHockey said...

countdown to the bruins game is getting me through this week

jefe p said...

faceoff zigomantis 11-13/85%
steven crosby 12-17/71%

Andrew said...

You guys seriously didn't like Sports Soup?!

I thought it was pretty funny, not hilarious, but it was good...and I think like the reincarnation of Talk Soup, Sports Soup will end up being pretty good in the long run.

KaylaJ said...

holy craptacular, i saw that guy with the lange for prez on tv and thought "i bet that guy visits pensblog". i must've looked at the chat when they showed the buries it sign though and i failed to catch it.

and really, you could've beaten me within half an inch of my life and i still wouldn't have been able to tell you for sure that briere even played that game. good sign

millvalemauler said...

It'll be a championship season in Philly before Sports Soup is funny.

The clips came in though. Its just the dude who hosts it has Ashton Kutcher syndrome (he thinks everything he says is the funniest thing you've heard all day).

And shoez, i could not agree with you more. Like before the re-incarnation of the blue jerseys, it was an epidemic.

Have the Caps games turned into Malkin vs. Ovechkin?
can't wait to see the battles.

fleuryous said...

yo yo yo

Speaking of Player Tees...

Kennedy: 2 goals
Orpik: 1 goal
Fleury: Ummmmm, BEAST
Malkin: 1 goal
Staal: 0-2ish?
Letang: 1 goal


I still like gettin' ziggy with it.

Okay, time to sleep.

Can't wait for battle of the beasts on Thursday.

And shoez....Satan's had a goal!

dmbforum40 said...

@ annie & pitthockey:

Where are you guys' seats for the game in Boston on Monday?

Any plans before/after the game?
We should meet up and represent tPB in style! ha

GodILoveHockey said...

Awesome game. Sick to see a Pensblog poster on VS.

Scuderi is the man.

Mr. Plank said...

Solid fucking recap. Caught the end of the third and OT- Dupuis' shot was on a mission from God.

Go Pensblog.

sh0ez said...

@ kelly (fleuryous): That's their records. I'm going to keep a track record of wins and losses (no OT stuff) of each shirt. Ha ha. Boredom. Plus, it'll help me pick which one to wear. Ha ha. I need more, though. Four isn't enough.

J.S. said...

I agree sh0ez, I try not to be the jersey police but the jerseys with players who weren't even born in the era of the jersey = epicfail. I remember seeing a Staal jersey in the Sunday yellow and a Crosby on a hummingbird era jersey? Why? I know Puck Daddy did a similar write up a few days ago on older era players on new jerseys, but the same should apply going back in time too.

The Arnie gif will never get old. You could leave that as the header season long and I'll laugh each time.

sven butenschon said...

People that wear jerseys like that kid = Joke
There was some ass clown wearing a 91 Yellow sunday jersey with Steve's name and number and the C
Give me a break
I wanted to start a website to ridicule people that obviously have no clue as to rules of jerseys but when I tried to register the domain it was already taken (I guess by the New Jersey Dept of tourism)

H.C. Prick said...

Roommates: what happened?
Me: Dupuis!

H.C. Prick said...

Jersey = Trash

wilsmith said...

william smith.

J.S. said...

sven, straightcashhomey is kinda similar, except that it only shows jerseys that are more or less irrlevant players or out of date jerseys. He should open it up to inaccurate jerseys too.

Korn said...

@kaylaj - I didn't even realize it til now, but wow, I don't even remember Briere's name being mentioned last night.

Sports Soup sucked, but we'll give it some time.

ellen said...

Our 4th line rocks!

Dan said...

hey the guy from def leppard set the cup upside down let's make a one armed drummer joke because it's hilarious!

RaCHeLeYoS said...

lol love the recap....lovin' the new format too.... intermission animated pic kills me. praying zigomanis....hahahaha classic.

"The 4-on-4 OT was like being able to go back and have sex with that hot girl from high school who you had sex with back then but didn't know what you were doing." haha good job guys as always.

dying alive said...

There was a little booing, but it didn't last long. Actually, it was more of a collective sound of disgust than a boo. And since it almost certainly came from the same retards who spend the whole game yelling, "SHOOT! SHOOT!" nobody cared. Most of the real booing was directed at Mike Richards.

My favorite jersey down at the Mellon is the old school Pens one that says "Bob Errey" on the back. No kidding, the nameplate has his entire name - BOB ERREY. I love it.

dying alive said...

BTW, the Briere Tampax photoshop belongs in tPB Hall of Fame.

debrisslide said...


Still can't find anyone to go to Pens@Bruins with. Bastards.

Bring on the fucking Caps. I can't wait.

Rage said...

I saw those guys on a cutaway during the game without the signs and I got one of those weird feelings and actually said to my bud.."Betcha those are Pensblog guys, god help us." Epic. said...

I watched the game-winning goal 15-20 times. The call and cinema was perfect. A long lead pass, the call "he's in - he shoots it - he SCORES" combined with the dejected slumping over of the goalie and the triumphant circling around of Dupuis.

The call was great.

Duff said...

Anyone else notice Eaton can't move a body and has been getting punished alot? He is more like Eatnone. Someone give him a sangwitch and a dumbbell. Maybe he needs to work off some rust from not playing the past two years.

Hand of Godard said...

I may be sent up to Boston for work and I'm trying to work it out that I get sent that week. If I can make it happen I'd love to take a ticket off of you. Hopefully, I'll find out tomorrow.

kstewy16 said...

I actually liked that Versus game.
Not once did i hear "Jordan Staal, of the Staal family, you know isn't that just amazing...blah fucking blah"
or "Pittsburgh native..."
And you guys are right, the play by play guy was alright, but I prefer Doc Emrick. And I've always like Edzo AS AN ANNOUNCER!!! Just please, keep him off the bench.

And everyone go check out empty netters, they have videos of MAF kicking some ass back in the day, he's a bad mother fucker

slush said...

Speaking of jerseys, I said last night that I would get whoever scored first. (Cept for Sid of course, he gets enough love as it is.) Orpik scored 2 min later. WOOT! Need to place my order now.

J.S. said...

Chalk up another vote for the Briere photoshop. I was gonna suggest that we haven't had a photoshop expo in a long time, but I guess the Gretzky one was only a few months ago.

fleuryous said...

I DU believe the theme of this game was

Free Candy--DU it. haha

The Goon Blogger said...

Awesome seeing Scuds getting some photoshop love. 2 seasons ago I considered buying a Scuds jersey (when he still had the numma 5) but then Sydor came in. I am tentative about buying a Scuds #4 because the second I do I know Sydor is going get traded or otherwise be off the team and Scuds will go back to the classic numma 5.

brett said...

Scuds love! That's what I'm talking about. And good for Dupuis, he definitely deserved it.

The laugh track on sports soup was worse than the one on America's Funniest Pets.

The Goon Blogger said...

Total agreement on the jersey front as well. I saw a kid wearing a Fleury Sunday Yellow during Game 2 of the SCF last season when we could watch in the Igloo, I bagged on him the entire game.

THOUGH! I did see a Zarley Zalapski jersey at that same game and I was struck both by thinking that was the greatest and at the same time worst jersey ever.

I'm looking to get me an oldschool Tommy B jersey myself cause if you're gonna go oldschool, get someone from that era, it ain't that hard.

Kids rocking the powder blues coulda had Syl Apps Jr. or Jean Pronovost! Come on!

dying alive said...

I need to get a Scuds number t-shirt. I've been meaning to do it for two seasons now. I'd love to have a Winter Classic jersey, but I can't justify the cost.

Tony Little said...

@ dying alive...

my favorite jersey is an old Jagr one where someone put black tape over the r and then wrote in white tape "OFF" so it said "Jag Off" brilliant. The Bob Errey one is great too.

crmzak said...

I guess no one liked my ZigoManos nickname idea? C'mon now, how can you pass up THE HANDS OF FATE.

crmzak said...

Don't get me wrong, I *do* like the Praying Zigomantis. However, I was expecting a shot of him chewing off a Flyers head in that case.

Rage said...

@crmzak-you got my vote. Maybe there aren't enough people who know the high-quality misery of Manos-The Hands of Fate outside of a classic MST3K episode

dying alive said...

Manos is a classic MST, but it doesn't compare to The Final Sacrifice. I wouldn't even put it in my top five, though I'm probably in the minority on that one.

debrisslide said...

@hand of godard: cheapest tix currently stand at $43 apiece. If it works out I'll buy two and you can pay me when you get here. Feel free to IM me (link is in my blogger profile) or e-mail (

crmzak said...

I tried to link my shitty ZigoManos and Scud Stud MS Paint jobs on here but I'm too gaytarded to figure it out. So, I just put 'em on my page.

And I gotta say that I want to see more goals a-Go-Go.

tanya said...

no one probably cares but this has to be one of the most humiliating games in the history of sport: finnish national soccer team managed to lose 3-0 even though they scored two goals...

Ja' Red said...

in Godard we trust?

Rage said...

@d.a.-I gotta look that one up and see if it's in my collection. The Day the Earth Froze is far and away my fav to this day.

Yes..In Godard We Trust! You must do so as well.

dying alive said...

@ rage - it's not available on DVD, but it can be acquired by other means. I HIGHLY recommend it. It is not hyperbole when I say that is is by far the best thing ever put onto film in the history of television.

Allison said...

Did they borrow gill for the game?

RedWings said...

I'm sure I'm speaking alone here, but thanks for the shot of the Wings, Cup and Prez. It looked great to me.

Also, congrats on the two points last night. OT is exciting but I hate to see filthy get the extra point.

Rage said...

@d.a.-I burn my own dvds. I'm ALL about "other means". Looking thru now..

tanya said...

not sure... probably they were just being finnish soccer players, born to fail

crmzak said...

I need to get my hands on some MST's. I have tons but they're all on dusty VHS tapes that I'd be afraid to put in a vcr. Can't recall Final Sacrifice by title. What's the motorcycle gang one?

Silly rabbi, kix are for trids!

Sorry, I really hate talking shit other than hockey on here. I'll stop since I hate scrolling as much as the next guy.

jovi said...

i like the idea of playing "candyman" whenever orpik scores or totally-outright just kills someone.

dying alive said...

I always recommend this site for MST needs... .

crmzak said...

I will be at Pens/Boston Monday. Wonder if it'll be as dead as the 12/20 game.

dying alive said...

@ crmzak - I'm pretty sure MST3K is an acceptable side topic.

The Final Sacrifice is the Canadian movie with the skinny geeky kid and the fat guy with hockey hair running from a group of cultists. Rowsdower!

Dan said...

santa claus > all other mst3k

debrisslide said...

I just rewatched all of the goals from last night on YouTube with Mike Lange's call edited in. Awesome feeling, haha.

debrisslide said...

btw, if we're talking MST3K, Prince of Space is still my favorite. Santa Claus/Martians is amazing though. And I got a real kick out of Swamp Women.

ellen said...

I vote NO on the Candyman song. Sorry, can't stand that song, sticks in your head forever.

Anyone know what we give up in "future considerations" for Zigomatic? Just how does that work?

Rage said...

@d.a.-NOW I remember!!!


crmzak said...

Hold up. Are we talking the candyman song, like the old-timey version? Sprinkling shit with dew?

Cuz I happen to think the Christina Aguilera version talkin about "making the panties drop" and "he makes my cherry pop" seems to come to mind every time I picture ol' Brooksy being interviewed in the locker room, all sweaty and nekkid...

...ahem. Sorry, my girly side got the best of me there.

snickerdoodles said...

The Hockey Report

Dateline: Washington DC.

Orkin Pest Control got a call to go to the nation's capital because a report of some pesky critters in the White House. Upon arrival of the Orkin men, it was soon discoverd that the pesky critters were actually the Detroit Red Wings, who ended up at the White House because they had taken that wrong turn at Albuquerque. Defenseman Chris Chelios, who was there when the White House was built, said it was nice to see the place again. Then he mumbled somthing about wanting some fried chicken and waffles and wandered off. Secret Servicemen found him on the grounds talking to a squirrel. President Bush defended Mr. Chelios, saying that for this place, that behavior is perfectly normal.

jovi said...

any version of candyman will do ... or we can have a contest were local groups do a new version.

just tryin' to give some oprik love (so that he doens't kill me)

jovi said...

Chelios, who was there when the White House was built, said it was nice to see the place again. Then he mumbled somthing about wanting some fried chicken and waffles and wandered off.


good stuff.

crmzak said...

City Limits, Gila Monster, Hercules are some of first few MSTs I remember watching and dying with laughter. Beatniks, too, I think. And the one with the lighthouse..?? Ah well.

crmzak said...

It's too bad the theme song from the Candyman movie is DREADFULLY boring.

@jovi, as long as you don't say it five times, Orpik won't appear and kill you.


Flyer Hater said...

John Forslund was doing PXP last night, he's pretty good. He's the Canes guy. Last night might have been the first enjoyable VS broadcast ever.

tanya said...

great, ovechkin in jail...
obviosly looking for his temple of poetry

Stilly said...


Yeah all except for the tangent into Bananas Foster. Not sure exactly how desert came up on a hockey broadcast

Dr. Turkleton said...


I noticed Eaton was moving a bit slower than usual. I followed him around for a couple shifts and he looked like he had trekked thru freshly poured concrete down at the new Arena site before stepping on the ice last night.
I hate to rip on someone after only 4 games, but you definitely can tell he's lost a step and may in fact be approaching Scuderi + Gill 'speed'. Who knows if the injures have just taken away from what he had before or if he's still not up to can definitely see his usual reliable defensive 'instincts' out there...but, just losing that fraction of speed makes all the difference [in his case].

for coffeytalks sake + her #3 sweater...I'll give him a few more games before I start wishing Sydor [gasp] was in the lineup as his replacement.

Why not Letang on the #1 PP?...does HCMT not want to put too much pressure on the kid this early in the season and, in turn, giving GoGo some added ice time since neither of them really do any PK work?


future considerations could be a draft pick(s) or a player(s)'s quite possible King Shero gave PHX a list of names and they want to mull over them for a defined amount of time OR it could be dependent upon how Ziggy does: if he reaches X expectations, you'll get Y player/draft pick or if he doesn't, you'll get Z, instead.

That 18 year old Sbisa [sounds like Spezza?] the Flyers [#1/19 overall this past draft] had on D was pretty impressive, IMO.


I noticed looking thru On Demand last night...Who's The Boss™ is in the Tube Time section....but, you probably already knew that.

Dan said...

doc - i thought sbisa was impressive too. i just threw up a little in my mouth saying that......

The Goon Blogger said...

Hobgoblins and Space Mutiny are without question the greatest MST3K episodes ever, it is unquestionable. Manos is definatly quality as well, and I am totally behind calling Zigomanis the Manos, Hands of Fate.

I'm not sure about your proximity to Pittsburgh, but there's a place on McKnight Road called "The Exchange" they have a lot of solid MST3K collections on DVD. They can't be sold in stores like Best Buy to my knowledge because of people bitching about being made fun of.

Also, you should check out where Mike Nelson and the boys continue to dominate movies with comedic brilliance.

The Goon Blogger said...

For the first period and a half I thought the Versus announcers were just misprouncing Spezza. Then I just wanted pizza for the rest of the game.

dying alive said...

I've bought MST collections at Best Buy, they definitely sell them there. Their selection is a bit lacking, though.

I guess I didn't notice a problem with Eaton last night. In fact, I remember him making one or two pretty decent plays.

The Goon Blogger said...

Eaton has never been one to dish out huge hits in my opinion I see him more as a technical defenseman like Scuds. Both of them are masters of the stick check and shot blocking. The heavy hitting his left to USS Hal Gill and Free Candy. I thought the hit on him into the end boards was borderline, Eaton had not yet interacted with the puck when he got plastered and if memory serves it was from behind.

Eaton is solid.

Nick Saia (usa) said...

sports soup = advertising on pensblog = puke = malkin 77-80 jersey as mentioned by shoez

itsnotgillian said...

Ziggy left Nittymaki in pure Zigor Mortis with that goal..

BlacknGold66 said...

Solid post Staff.

Scientology advertisements kinda blow though. Actually... all advertisements kinda blow but what do I care if you guyz make a buck or two off of this site.

Am I the only one the suddenly missed Malone crashing the net during last night's game?

I Have Kasparaitis said...

BNG66: "Am I the only one the suddenly missed Malone crashing the net during last night's game?"

No, but I'm pretty sure I don't count *laughs* Basically I miss anything in front of the net ... Sykie moved there a few times but he's not big enough to do much.

Doesn't Coffeytalk know the person with the "Bob Errey" jersey? I thought it was mentioned previously ...

Eats is solid. He played very well and I think his speed might have slowed down from the slew foot injury (not a broken leg, Versus announcers *glares*) As long as he's doing his job well and he is blocking shots and being the great D that he is, I have no problems. I see no issues with him, Dr. Turk, as far as speed goes because he's a reliable D-man who doesn't always need to be the fastest. Plus, his speed was only toned down a notch or 2; he's not Gill slow or anywhere near it.

akus said...

I did not mind the announcers last night on Versus, but the cameraman/men/people,sucked ass...

Though a Pens win makes it alot easier to watch the repay of it now on NHLN.

44's pass=$$.

ellen said...

Thanks, Dr. Turk.

Pensblog Staff said...

wait a minute. was there a scientology ad on the blog recently?
that's not gonna fly.

Eaton is slower. He's getting older.
But at least two or three of his blocked shots last night started an odd-man transition for the Pens.

Considering the depleted blue-line corps, we'll personally pay Mark Eaton $5 a day to stay on the team.

BlacknGold66 said...

Will that $5 be coming from your shared Scientology revenue?


The "Bob Errey" jersey is owned by Coffeytalk's brother if I remember correctly.

babyxjay17 said...

check out the ice man

F1reb1rd said...,115095

You guys are goin big time...


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