Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Mario Lem-used us

Without Mario Lemieux, we would be without a blog to run.
We'd probably be in jail for something.

Mario Lemieux's arrival in Pittsburgh changed the city's sports landscape forever.
Youth hockey programs began popping up out of thin air.
Ryan Malone and RJ Umberger would be working at a car wash if it wasn't for Mario Lemieux.

Battling through life-threatening cancer and nightly back ailments,
Mario Lemieux was helping the city and the team..before he even owned it.

He got jobbed out of some cash due to Howard Baldwin being a joke.
A contract is a contract. There's no way around it.

Just as anyone person would do if they got jobbed out of cash,
Lemieux found a way to get it back.

10 years ago, this franchise was on life support.
Lemieux swooped in and saved the day again.

Was Lemieux's return in 2000-2001 a way to infuse money into his investment?
There's no doubt about it.
But if you think that was his primary reason for his return, there's no doubt you're a douchebag.

Back in the bankruptcy crap, politicans gave Lemieux their word that a new arena would be built for his hockey team.
They could have just as well taken a dump on his face.

The public, his career-long admirers, watched in awe as he got jobbed out of that promise.
It had to be humiliating for Buries It.

Fast-forward a couple years of Lemieux playing in the twilight of his career on Penguin teams that were touching themselves in the basement.

By 2005, 66 had had enough. He was openly shopping the team around.
But the Pens landing Sidney Crosby changed everything.
Lemieux saw what was in front of him and took the team off the market.
He was still playing, too. But Father Time eventually caught up with him.

But not before this:

The following season, Jim Balsillie brought his Jobber Train through the Pens franchise.
Lemieux bit, but only for a moment.

Through all this, Lemieux got in bed with Isle of Capri casino.
The slots license was to be awarded on December 20, 2006.
IOC arguably was the best bet for the city of Pittsburgh.
IOC had a great track record, as they had turned the neighbordhood around Columbus' Nationwide Arena into a utopia.

And, yet again, the city decided to job Lemieux.
And we know how well that slots-license stuff has panned out.

In early 2007, the franchise's future was up in the air.
People were vomiting on each other.
All of this while the Pens were amidst a crazy 16-game points streak or some shit.

-- March 4, 2007 --

After wheeling and dealing and taking ghost trips to Kansas City and Vegas,
Pittsburgh and the state of Pennsylvania got their affairs in order.
A new arena deal was announced on March 13, 2007.

Public humiliation after public humiliation, Lemieux never turned his back on the fans.
Many happenings in business just have to remain behind close doors and in closed mouths.

But his off-the-cuff comments on the dealings made you feel like he was being honest,
much to the chagrin of parties on the other side of the ledger.

Lemieux is a businessman now.
He and his financial partners are putting a world-class team on the ice.
"It's here. After all my hard work. Come and get it."

And we, as fans, have done so.
There's some ridiculous consecutive-sellout streak going on right now.

When Lemieux broke ground on the arena recently, you just had to smile.
Lemieux isn't your friend. You don't have his cellphone number.
But he's a beast, and he's done everything for the city that is within his limits.
And he wasn't even born here.

Basically, anyone saying they're offended that Lemieux used the fans as a bargaining chip is an idiot.
They are the kind of people who will say something just to get in a newspaper.

We're glad that Lemieux used us.
He could walk into the room right now and touch my girlfriend's boobs.

Go Pens


snickerdoodles said...

Am I the FIRST to say Lemieux got the job done?

sh0ez said...


kamechiha said...

I was at the cafe today and damn it all, if that guy didn't do more for this city than anyone else.


Give him his own 1 hr TV show on NBC.

PittHockey said...

I am L-Amused

jefe mays said...

all hail #66.

BlacknGold66 said...

So do you have to be Buries It to get to touch your girlfriends boobs or is that offer on the table to everyone?

Did I rack up the numbers like he did in the NHL? ...

In short... No.

But about 4 years ago I was walking down I-77 on my way to Pittsburgh (this is before cars you see)...(but not before the super-highway for pedestrians because we don't know what smocknigorbs--now known as "cars"--are) when I ran into a giant crustation from the paleolithic era.

It was on it's way to Pittsburgh and it stopped me (oh lordy it was scary) and I said, "GOD. Damnit Monster! What the hell do you want from me?"

And it leaned down with it's beaty red eyes and said....

"About Tree-Fiddy"

So I gave him that tree fiddy and he turned around and went back to Detroit.


...I too saved Pittsburgh because that Tree-Fiddy you all saved gave us juuuuuuuuuuuuust the right amount of money for the little jalapeno tongs at the Igloo.

Where would the Pens have been the past few seasons without those little tongs?



I'll tell you where... in the god damn hospital that's where!

Because when Rico Fata takes a bad penalty and you have to rub your eyes in disgust you stop and say to yourself, "WOW! Had I not had those tongs I would have had to pick up those delicious and juicy jalapeno slices with my fingers. And then my fingers would have been covered in hot jalapeno juice and I would have burnt up my eyes something fierce. Boy am I lucky!"

So think about that and get back to be about feeling some boobage.

Dan's sister has yet to return my phone calls.

stokes said...

Excellent post, Staff.

J.S. said...

What does that arena pic from March 4th, 2007 and the Sprint Center today have in common?

That's right, you can spend all day looking and you STILL won't find a hockey team inside.

My favorite quote from the "Lemieux never considered selling the Penguins" articles
has to be this:
"No, it wasn't a possibility. We had to do a few things to put pressure on the city and the state," Lemieux said. "Our goal was to remain here in Pittsburgh. Those trips to Kansas City and Las Vegas and other cities were just to go, have a nice dinner and come back."

Say what you want about Mario, but it even looks like he's mastered the fine art of jobbing.

akus said...

Le Magnifique

shawnawwwesome said...

Billy Mays is selling jalapeno juice as an eyeball whitener. Right now on Channel 53.

Too late, you missed it.

Mario Lemieux made us all his bitches like Pittsburgh was his own personal harem.

Anthony said...

"We are now officially calling the 08-09 season 'this season' as opposed to 'next season.'"


demondg1 said...

Lemieux might be the only person I'd be alright letting my girlfriend have sex with.

Hail Mario.

P.O. said...

there is one statement that rains as true now as it did the first time i said it at age five ... mario=beast

Flyer Hater said...

Now, THAT'S a post.

Flyer Hater said...

Anyone who's angry that Lemieux lied to the fans should be put in Gitmo.

Dan said...

my morning isn't complete until i see a picture of gretzky sucking dick

sorry bng, my sister is very unreliable

dying alive said...

So does that mean that Mario took KC out for a nice seafood dinner and never called them again?

I don't know, I'm still not over the KC thing. I know they wanted a team and I can see why they wanted our team, but some of the stuff I read in newspapers, on blogs, and message boards just made me want to collectively slap the shit out of them.

Anthony said...

PuckDaddy is talkin' smack.

Git yer pitchforks, we got ourselves a riot!

Dan said...


Dan said...

i posted that puck daddy article yesterday. he's been jobbing us for so long we no longer care.

shawnawwwesome said...

demondg1, you might want to add yourself to that list.

J.S. said...

I don't know where he's jobbing, but in his most recent article he did say that the Gretz photoshop was "epic".

No mention of the Gretzky Glory Hole though.

Korn said...

Who's front and center to get comments from Le Manifique? Danny Potash, that's who.

P.O. said...

is anyone else here on the season ticket waiting list and planning on purchasing any of the six packs? im debating which six packs to get

btumpak said...

fuck chuck norris, mario is the real beast

dying alive said...

Saying that the Pens might take a fall is hardly a stretch. Anything short of the SCF would be a fall. Predicting that the Pens will not make the playoffs is pure idiocy. I'd challenge anyone to name eight teams in the east who are flat-out better than the Pens - meaning, better as a whole team on paper. None of this, "zomg, if Fleury gets hurt! zomg, if Crosby gets hurt" crap, because unless the person doing the prognosticating is named Nostradamus or Miss Cleo, it's all speculation.

I love all of the people listing Adam Hall as one of the losses that will hurt the Pens. Don't get me wrong, I liked the guy a lot. He played hard. But he barely made the team in the first place and if not for some injuries he would have seen significantly less ice time and eaten a lot of nachos in the press box. And I don't mean to blaspheme, but Gary Roberts missed most of the season and a good portion of the playoffs, so where exactly does his loss hurt us? In the locker room? I think in a year and a half, a lot of his wisdom will have rubbed off. We had Hossa for, what, twelve regular season games? Laraque saw little ice time. Ruutu was nice to have around, but he's a role player. The biggest deal is, of course, being made of Malone. And again, I like the guy and I think losing him will hurt the most out of the players I mentioned. But this was his first REALLY solid season ever. At the age of 29. Playing alongside Evgeni Malkin. In a contract year. Will he really be able to repeat what he did this year? Maybe. But it's not like we lost a perennial Art Ross contender. I think he'll be missed most in front of the net, and I think that's something they'll work on with Jordan Staal, who is nearly the same size.

Rumors of the death of the Penguins are a bit premature to anyone who takes the time to actually look at who left instead of just having a knee jerk, "So many players left!" reaction. The fact of the matter is, it's natural to want to see the people on top take a fall. I'd like to see Detroit and their arrogant, arrogant fans get stunned next season and I can make all of the predictions I want that Lidstrom will finally show his age or the nursing home will burn down with all of their equipment inside causing them to have to forefeit their season, but that doesn't mean it's going to happen. The same people who are predicting that the Pens will miss the playoffs are certain that the Caps - who squeaked into the 8th spot last year at the last minute by winning a weak division - are locks to make it. So whatever.

Guy Germaine said...

Epic post. Where will the losers be the night the new arena opens and Le Magnifique's statue is unveiled to the world?

Anthony said...

Quick: someone stop me from spending 180 dollars that I don't have on 2 pairs of those BAMF Pens inspired Reeboks.

Dan said...

only if i can get talked out of either

1)crosby oceanic jersey
2)orpik home jersey

still undecided...........

i also envision a team usa jersey in 2010

Anthony said...

I'm going to try my damndest to make it to Vancouver for the '10 Olympics.

Seeing top flight, Olympic hockey in the Holy Land and seeing Crosby, Tavares, and Toews playing for gold against Malkin, Ovechkin and Kovalchuk is enough to tape my hockey stick.

Fleury29 said...

We're glad that Lemieux used us.
He could walk into the room right now and touch my girlfriend's boobs.

Ha! Classic.

The people of KC really want a team but I don't know if they're ready for one. It seems like most of the people wanting one are expats from other areas who think just because they had an NHL team where they came from, they deserve one in KC.

Dying Alive, it may be that sort of thing you're seeing on the boards and blogs and stuff. The sort of frustration that comes from wanting something bad enough that you don't care how you get it.

I, for one, would have been devastated if the Pens had moved to KC, even though that would have meant NHL hockey two hours from my doorstep. The Pens belong in Pittsburgh, that's all there is to it.

I used to think I'd be okay if the Predators moved here but they have a fanbase, too and I don't want those fans to go through what we went through. The NHL is a business and it's going to expand and I think that's how KC will get a team. I'm not a fan of expansion but I'd much rather have KC get a team that way then get one by stealing someone else's.

Still the thought of being able to drive two hours to see the Pens play against the KC Doucheclots, or whoever, is pretty awesome.

Fleury29 said...

PHX could move to KC, though, as long as they left Gretzky behind. :-)

P.O. said...

i have a feeling we will be seeing alot of orpik jerseys this season (including the one on my back)

Brett said...

Everyday, I'm inspired by Le Magnifique.

dying alive said...

I want a Winter Classic jersey in the worst way, but I can't justify buying another jersey. I already have three, plus a bunch of name/number t-shirts and countless free t-shirts that they have given away as promos over the years (including like six of those white out t's they gave away in the playoffs). I need to dress like a girl at some point or people will start to wonder.

I am going to get my Scuds t-shirt this year, though. Plus I think I'm going to buy a couple of Satan t's to give as Christmas gifts.

Dan said...

didn't someone order one that said "free candy" on the back?

dying alive said...

F29 - Yeah, I think it was just the shameless grubbing and the actively hoping that we would lose our team that bothered me. I mean, if Pittsburgh were to ever get a baseball team I would never wish for the Sox or the Yankess because they belong where they are.

P.O. said...


i got a LeGame authentic WC jersey off of ebay for like 80 bucks and it was the real deal.. there are a bunch of sporting goods stores that have ebay stores that are trying to unload them now

P.O. said...


Anthony said...

I've been trying to get a Winter Classic jersey, but I can't find those damn things anywhere.

I want a Colby Armstrong jersey, and God dammit I want him back in the 'Burgh.

Dan said...

pro image has the satan shirts in

jared said...

I didn't pick up PensBlog till later this past season.

Can someone tell me where Bing and Legame came from?

Is Bing because the person on Fox news didn't know who Sid was reference?

Thanks, and be easy on me

P.O. said...


which pro image and how much?

Dan said...

i saw them at westmoreland mall last week, didn't have time to run in though. sorry p.o.

DrunkArmyFan said...

Amen on bringing Colby back.

PensfanSeoul said...

"Bing" Crosby (if you are young, google it)

and LeGame I believe came from staff when Letang came out and scored in a shootout....

I could be wrong.

J.S. said...

Steve is also an acceptable nickname for Sid, originated from game 2 of the SCF pregame puck drop.

penshckyfreak82 said...

that made me happy. :)

Dan said...

j.s. - so i wasn't hearing things then, thanks for the affirmation.

Dan said...

i miss the rains down in aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaffrica

dying alive said...

It's "I bless the rains." Please come back when you've studied the entire Toto lyrics catalog.

I hate myself for knowing that.

[/80s music nerd]

crmzak said...

WOW. Great post, guys. Really.

Like I've always said, I don't care how old and geriatric Mario is or becomes, I'd hit it just out of principle.

Rage said...

@dying alive- BUSTED!!! Don't hate yourself for the 80s music...why, it looks good on you!(Toto?!?!?!)Do you have it in vinyl?

Victor Raison said...

Glad to see the staff making a verbal commitment to stop mailing it. This post was a good start, well done.

That said, I like how this post juxtaposes Lemieux with politicians. One gets the job done with little fanfare and braggadocio while the other can't stop talking about themselves and their accomplishments. Rendell takes the credit for helping the Pens stay in Pittsburgh when all he really did was get out-smarted and out-politicked by a hockey player; although the greatest hockey player to step on the ice.

Dan said...

jesus why didn't i know that? i'm full of useless information too. d.a. - thank you for the shaming. i deserved it.

BlacknGold66 said...

It's "I bless the rains." Please come back when you've studied the entire Toto lyrics catalog.


DA that is CLASSIC!

ellen said...


You should post that to Puck Daddy. Your arguments are far more sensible and thought out than either his or the original D-bag who started this whole mess.

akus said...

Reading about "66" today and the ongoing PS on "99",
the Bleacher Report, has article on Six reasons, 66 is Greater than 99

Here is #3.

"66" Saves the Pens, Gretzky's Coyotes Watch the Playoffs From Their Couches

So what have these guys done since hanging up the skates for the final time? Well, let's see...

Lemieux has secured the Penguins a new arena in Pittsburgh, complete with a 30-year lease. He has had a hand in developing the game's newest star, Sidney Crosby, and he's even acted as Sid's landlord during his first three years in Pittsburgh.

Under the ownership of Lemieux, the Penguins have reached the playoffs in each of the past two seasons, and the Stanley Cup Finals last season.

Big Wayne, on the other hand, has checked wife Janet into Gambler's Anonymous, and has failed to lead the Coyotes, as owner or head coach, to a 40-win season, or the playoffs in three attempts. Things may be starting to look up for the Coyotes, but if I were a bettin' man—nah, that's just too easy.

I am partial to the name Lemieux,
My nephew's middle name is one in the same.
His Dad ( my brother) a huge Pens fan.


From a blogger, March 08,2007

It has been pretty widely accepted in the KC area that the sweet deal made by AEG, the managers of the new arena, was really nothing more than leverage for the Penguins organization to use against government officials in Pittsburgh.

If the Penguins make a decision to relocate, we are absolutely positive that they will not find a better offer or a better market than they will get in Kansas City," said Michael Roth, vice president of communications for AEG. "We don't spend our days worrying about whether or not they will leave Pittsburgh, but we do strongly believe that Kansas City is where they will end up."

J.S. said...

sent this to another c-blogger earlier, but this has to be one of the oddest videos that I've seen in a long time.


Victor Raison said...

Judging from the lethargic attitude around here, I think it's time for a scintillating politica debate.

Victor Raison said...

My back itches a lot, is it the Governments problem to fix?

Yes or No.

J.S. said...

the government isn't to blame, but I'm sure Matthew Lesko can hook you up with some government grant so you can figure out why your back is bothering you.

KaylaJ said...

i don't know, but i kinda like saying i got used by mario

KaylaJ said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
DrunkArmyFan said...

Damn... I've wasted an entire day designing shoes I'll never buy. If only I had Billy Mays to talk me into making a purchase...

KaylaJ said...

if you had billy talking to you, you'd be deaf

wilsmith said...

Pens fans need to stop embarrassing other Pens fans by spamming the shit out of blogs and message boards every time someone criticizes the Penguins.

Who cares?

DrunkArmyFan said...

Yeah, but I'd buy whatever he's selling

dlonlo said...

comment 69

dlonlo said...

comment 70

dlonlo said...

comment 71

dlonlo said...

best video on the web!

Chase said...

Once fantasy hockey starts on yahoo, would anyone be interested in starting a league or 2 or 5 of pensblog readers? or at least participating in one? I'm tired of doing fantasy leagues with whiny bitches and people who try not to have fun while doing it.

fleuryous said...

Buries it=boss.

I'd let him touch my grandmother's boobs, let's be honest.

Aaaaaah, September 20th is so close!

dlonlo said...

i'll do a fantasy league

KaylaJ said...

dlonlo has killed once again

dlonlo said...

i am officially declaring myself the master of killing c-blog!!!!

eileenover said...

I am officially declaring you an obnoxious moron.

dlonlo said...


akus said...

Don't feed the troll!


A quote from Jailhouse Rock,
That ain't tactics, honey. It's just the beast in me.

Ladies and gentlemen, Elvis has just left the building!

dlonlo said...

Internet Trolls LMAO!!!

Anthony said...

I still maintain that this is the best video on the internet.


Sorry, I don't know how to do all that fancy linking you guys do. =]

Rage said...

@dlonlo- Since the term "cocksucker" has been used to describe you before, it would be redundant to call you that again; in lieu of me calling you a gibbering, annoying, mongoloid, let me just redirect you to the following blogs where you will be MORE than welcome! Thanks for stopping by!




Thanks....and feel free to kill these blogs until you fucking die.

dlonlo said...

u guys all have some serious anger issues i didnt even really do anything

akus said...

@ anthony,


eileenover said...

I'm going to say you're about 10.

Dan said...

got to buy got to buy it chinpokomon!

KaylaJ said...

one day when dlongo doesn't kill cblog i'll show some of my motivation posters

Rage said...

If he's 10 can you legally punch him in the dick?

Just sayin'

eileenover said...

I won't tell.

KaylaJ said...

careful rage, he may like it

Chelsea said...

i'd let mario use me any day of the week....just sayin'.

Rage said...

Isn't this about the time of day when the ADHD meds wear off?

KaylaJ said...

meds wear off about now cause there is nothing on tv

kdrtoona said...

Is Potash double fistin in that one pic?
That's dedication, holmes... rockin the mic and the tape recorder. That's why he's the people's champ.

kdrtoona said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
debrisslide said...

I know my boyfriend would let Lemieux touch my boobs if the issue came up. (I obviously would not object.) He would also probably give 66 the keys to his car and a case of good Canadian beer for free. WE ALL WOULD.

Best post ever.

Can't wait.

I love the header graphic right now btw. OMG.

debrisslide said...

Question: how much do you think tickets will be to the Bruins home opener? They don't go on sale until September 13 and I'm going to be going crazy with my first week of college. It sucks that my first live Pens game can't be in Mellon Arena but that's college for ya. Do Bruins fans give a shit about their team? Will it put me out a ridiculous amount of money? I don't know shit about attending sporting events. . .it was never an option before.

eileenover said...

Annie S. should know all of that info debris.

KaylaJ said...

you may also check the bruins website, they usually have a message board and you can lurk to see if anyone else has said anything about it.

i need to start saving up for my tickets. the last time i went to a stars game to see the pens the tickets were $20 each, but they were at reunion, all the seats were pretty good views. now? i need to save at least $70-$100x2

debrisslide said...

In my searches: the Penguins are now advertising on their website ridiculously expensive fan trips to Stockholm for the exhibition games. The arena they're playing in is really fucking solid-looking.

That's my last post for awhile. . .work at 8AM. Vomit.

KaylaJ said...

that arena looks like something you'd find in the middle east, awesome looking though

Annie said...

Debris - I actually already bought tix to the home opener through stubhub.com. They're going for anywhere from $39 and up. You could also probably try ticketmaster. I haven't actually received them yet, since all the tix on stubhub right now are actually being resold by season ticket owners, and individual tickets don't go on sale until Sept 13, but stubhub guarantees that you receive them well in time for the game.

As for Bruins fans giving a shit about their team, I wouldn't know much about that. I know they didn't job me when I was cheering for Ovechkin when I saw them play the Caps earlier this year, but then I was sitting in the next to last row, so maybe that doesn't mean much. :)

fleuryous said...

I bought a pair of "custom shoes." I may regret paying up now, but the shoes are boss with a capital BOSS.


sweetgb said...

Nice post. I can't agree more.

Can I touch your girlfriends boobies?

Brett said...

Am I the only one here that was watching the Democratic convention?

Clinton kicked the tires and lit the fires, but I'd rather have Le Magnifique backing me up anyday.

Steve In Denver said...

Staff comes back from a well deserved vacation with the 99 photoshop and a Lemieux girlfriend swinger/boob touchie offer? Awesome.

BnG, nice work on the jalapeno tongs story.

And the overlooked TOP reason to go to the 2010 Olympics in Vancouver??
Hash Bars. Woooooo

Steve In Denver said...

@ Brett, the convention is ridiculous crazy. I work downtown, and can't get much done between the sirens, motorcades, pods of riot cops, freaky political groupies, and parades and marches. The creepiest part is that all my homeless peeps have been rounded up and sent somewhere else. Movies? Museum? Zoo? Mexico? It's weird having spare change after lunch. I don't know what to do with it.
Hopefully I'll get some pics with a Pens twist of some of the convention action.

KaylaJ said...

steve i saw denver gave the homeless hair cuts and medical attention before the convention. maybe you've seen them, you just can no longer tell!!!

awesome, the story of gangstalicious on the boondocks!

jefe mays said...

whats up with whats going down?
in every city, in every town.


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