Thursday, July 10, 2008

Stay On Your Crew/ Like Mario Lemieux

Let's be realistic.
August is usually the dog days when it comes to talking about hockey.

The Pens offseason moves are pretty much done.
Free-agent signings are becoming more and more sporadic.

So what are these days for?

If you answered, " looking for obscure rappers to mention Penguins in song," you are right.

Check out the Tribe Called Quest song "Keep it Rollin."

Big thanks to [Eddy Spaghetti] for the find.


Sergei Fedorov will be making $4 million next season. [ ESPN ]
Seriously? Come on.

D-man Christian Ehrhoff will be making $3mill a year for the next 3 years. [ TSN ]

Goalie Ray Emery says F U. He signs with a Russian team. [ TSN ]


Time travel

We garnered the services of the Wayback Machine to check some things out.
[ Internet Archive ]
[ Dec. 1996 ]
[ Dec. 1996 ]

[ Jan. 1998 ]


[ Puck Daddy], had some good things to say about NHL '09.
And a picture they posted proves that EA is trying to get as real as it gets:

[<span class=

No word yet if they'll have a "Free Candy," button.

[Ryan C]


We Believe in Satan.

Shirts will be in storeblog soon.

solid photoshop by [MJ]


Former Penguin Jiri Slegr.

Another reason to thank Al Gore for inventing the internet.

This picture doesn't make sense.



Reader Jason Seltzer sent this in.

It is a chance to win an autographed Evgeni Malkin stick, with the proceeds going to the Cystic Fibrosis foundation

Go [Here] for more details


Lemmmonnnaddde herrrrrreeeee

Keeping in game shape.

[Kris R]


And lastly, we've held off posting this because it is bizarre.

We aren't ones to warn you about anything, but this isn't suitable for anything.

Thanks to [Anonymous] for the strange link.


Game #17
[Broad Street Bullies. PENS LOSE]

[phi.<span class=[pit.<span class=
5 - 2

Gonchar went to the box for some phantom call.
7 seconds into the power play, Palindrome deflects in a shot from the point.

3-0. Emoblog.





Go Pens


[Rick M]

"Pittsburgh has a great team, great people, great organization. I had to compare the two teams, and there's a little better chance to win the Cup in Detroit. I had a great time with Sid and playing on the power play with Geno [Evgeni Malkin], but the team in Detroit is something special. I know it's a short term, but we never talked about a one-year [deal] with Pittsburgh. We just talked about a long-term deal. I totally believe Detroit has the kind of team that can win it again."

--Hossa 3:16--


P.O. said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
P.O. said...

wow... gotta be in NJ to get my first ever first... something aint right there...

Julia said...

Rap songs mentioning hockey let alone the pens, that's crazy.

and wtf is that youtube at the end...

P.O. said...

lil wayne says you better wear that latex and be down with that safe sex because you you dont want that late text that says "i'm late" text

coolest thing ever from a rap song

penstone410 said...

the youtube is an embarrasment to the millions of other youtube videos

what happened to the "first" comment?

any rap song mentioning hockey, especially pens = badass


Jester500000 said...

Man those kids in Canada make Pensblog Charlie look like a lumberjack. Even Richard Simmons looks at those kids and whispers "what a bunch of fags" to himself.

Mr. Plank said...

Best William Dafoe impression circa Boondock Saints

"Youtube? What a fag."

I cant believe I just watched that for two minutes. Al Gore must be pissed.

Rico Fatty said...

looking at those Mario covers, when's the last time SI had a hockey-based cover? Does anyone know?

brndlynn said...

the satan ps was sick.
i cant believe i just wasted 2 minutes of my life watching that youtube.

charlie must be wondering how to get in touch with them in more ways than one.

Rico Fatty said...

actually i did the research myself. the last one was a year ago on 7/2. it was the Hanson bros. But they have only had 6 since the millennium. When is hockey going to be seen as a real sport again...?

PittHockey said...

I guess rap finally found a use.

Jasper said...

i still dont see what the use is

Tony Little said...

The guy who made that video is a slomo. very queer video indeed.

stokes said...

That youtube is whack.

Seriously, young man, if you didn't look like a teenage fag-in-waiting, i might take it seriously. or get pissed. but, you and your buddies obviously weren't acting when you were cuddling together, looking at gay porn, and sucking at hockey. i hope the inside of your cheek gets stuck to your braces, asswipe.

stokes said...

holy crap! that fag has his name and number painted on his bedroom wall. does it get any gayer that that?!

Russell Lucas said...

Rico, the last one I can think of is the Hansons/Carlsons last July in one of those "Where Are They Now?" issues. But the last time it was guys who actually still play hockey? I have no idea. Neither Sid or Ovechkin has ever had a solo cover. (I don't count little pictures in the corner) I wonder if that Mario cover was the last one-- seriously.

And this is why Sports Illustrated sucks.

jefe penguino said...

regular bacon > canadian style bacon

akus said...


taco/burritos, followed a few hours later by some canadian bacon
What a stomach!!

Sign up for nathan's(hot dog eating contest) next year.


Joey Chestnut has nothing, i am telling You,nothing on You.
Besides i bet my left tit, he can't swing jump :)

Sstan/SI covers/NHL `09
this is how we spend the offseason-good times.

Puckbunnies Unite.

85 days (October)


fleuryous said...

Blogger Rico Fatty said...

looking at those Mario covers, when's the last time SI had a hockey-based cover? Does anyone know?

Hockey is rarely mentioned in ANY sports magazines, from what I gather. During the SCF, ESPN had NOTHING. Lamelamelame.

Blah, off to work.

Have a good day, everyone.

PS. Staff! Do you guys have Facebooks, besides Charlie?

Joose said...

That "commercial" is one of the most awkward things I have ever seen in my entire life.

Ali said...

Everytime I see that "picture" of Hossa at the bottom of the post I get more and more sure that next June we'll see that exact thing - but it will be real this time. :) No need for photoshop! :) Excellent.

Jawsh said...

I think everyone needs to ask themselves a question, which picture makes less sense:


Or this>

Dan said...

hey mr. postman hey hey hey hey

Vern said...

I wouldn't call Tribe Called Quest obscure.

Stoosh said...

Did anyone notice on the Slegr Czech jersey picture, that he's:

1. holding up a picture of a person I believe to be Ivan Hlinka and

2. it says "DIKY!!!" on it.

Could it be that this picture is not Jiri Slegr paying tribute to Hlinka, but instead pledging his allegiance to the Pensblog mascot?

I think so.

Jiri Slegr = solid

Dan said...

empty netters tribute to BGL

TheFandangler said...

Stoosh... I think the pic in Slegs hand was Dick Van


Jonathan said...

@ Stoosh

"Did anyone notice on the Slegr Czech jersey picture, that he's:

1. holding up a picture of a person I believe to be Ivan Hlinka and

2. it says "DIKY!!!" on it.

Could it be that this picture is not Jiri Slegr paying tribute to Hlinka, but instead pledging his allegiance to the Pensblog mascot?"

"Diky" is Czech for "Thanks" -- short for "dekuju" or however the hell it's conjugated for someone like Hlinka by someone like Slegr. Also sucks I can't put a hacek in commentblog (can't even put a hacek in hacek).

Dan said...

i'm gonna start banging pots and pans and setting off firecrackers to wake everyone up today. what the hell?

Carroll said...

Don't you think if you are going to say your Sid at least wear a Crosby jersey in the video.

Stilly said...

dan dan dan... put down the pans. I know it's hard having down syndrome.. but making noise in the morning is a little much.


I think the bandwagon cleared out after free agency. Chicken Little told everyone that we're not making the playoffs because we lost Benedict Hossa.

Dan said...

stilly, i don't have down syndrome, i have aids. everyone here knows that.

Stilly said...

Oh yeah. I'm such a joke.

It is dead in there though. I've been lurking in here this morning. Hopefully things pick up this afternoon.

Zarley Zalapski Blues Explosion said...

Midnight Marauders by A Tribe Called Quest is a classic. Back when rap didn't have to suck!! BTW, I mentioned that song on here yesterday too damnit! Where'smycreditblog?! Ok, so I didn't remember the name of it, just the group... but still!

I have all of those Mario SIs framed on my wall, plus the special retirement issue. Hmmmph... hockey was so big in 97 that SI made a special issue just for Mario. Now in 08 it can't get any press just because ESPN craps on it because they don't have the TV contract. When did ESPN go from a legitimate news sports news source to a self-serving, cross-promoting, marketing-machine?

Ok, maybe NHL09 will be better than NHL08. I have NHL08, I liked NHL08, but it just seemed to like not be fun sometimes. Sometimes too real gets annoying. I just want to shoot a lot and check and I'll be a happy camper. There was something about the checking in 08 that drove me nuts.

uncleyorgi71 said...

ESPN sucks testicles so much. I hate it. They blow everything out of proportion and are the political assholes of sports. They always play the same damn clips over and over again and all they care about is baseball and basketball. Fuck ESPN and everyone who works there. I stopped watching it about 6 months ago. I stick to FSN now. I'm sure my blood pressure has dropped significantly. Any sports station that doesn't cover hockey is no sports station to me.

GO PENS!!!!!!

Dan said...

zarley - the checking needs improving, but 08 was a beast

Stilly said...

I'm not sure what brought that rant on, but ESPN has been pissing me off lately too. Their biggest stories are basketball... Like anyone even cares. Do people actually attend NBA games? More Hockey and more NASCAR, or i'm goin postal.

Doug said...

I thought that line was "I skate on your crew, like Mario Lemieux.

LargeTurkey said...

Nascar is lame. You know Sirius satellite radio broadcasts nascar races? What do they say? Left turn...another left turn...another left turn...

Stilly said...


Tony Stewart=Beast. Love this move back to Chevy and owning his own team. To instantly challenge for Championships..

Ryan Newman and Jack Daniels.

Martin Truex Jr. and Bass Pro Shops.

Three (Hendrick powered) cars, three championship caliber drivers. DO IT.

Stilly said...

Hey fuck you turkey

I listen to the Sirius broadcastas every week. They're better than TV. I also listened to NASCAR channel 128 for about 4 straight hours yesterday while I was stranded on I-83 in Maryland. Great stuff.

LargeTurkey said...

haha. fair enough , but explain to me how listening to a race on the radio is entertaining? I can understand if you are in to it how discussion about the sport would be entertaining but the actual race on the radio? I just don't get it.

Scutum said...

@zzbe: I agree about ESPN. Along with hockey, I'm also a pretty big soccer fan. Being new to this place, I'm not sure how much others feel about it, but I don't think anybody would argue against the same treatment being dished out to both sports by the artists formerly known as ESPN. They've become part of the establishment. They job hockey and soccer and other things people do care about, and it isn't just about what people like to watch because they laugh at those two sports but always have time for the dog shows, women's billiards, and the WNBA. I love women as much as the next guy, but wtf is watching the WNBA? Oh wait, that's part of their mutual cork-soaking deal with Big Daddy NBA, so they'll keep pimping it and pretending it's all that. Whatev.

RE NHL09: Does anybody play this game via PC? I've been told the PC version of EAs games (and from what I've seen I'd believe it) totally get jobbed as far as support after release is concerned. Like roster updates that are promised and never ever delivered. Anybody know about this? I have Wii also, but prefer games on the PC.

Stilly said...


It's actually pretty good. I think it would be tough for someone who wasn't actively following a driver to see that, but they put 4 or 5 people around the track and give a pretty good play by play. It's alot more exciting than say.. baseball. There is shit happening all the time.

If you only care about who wins, then it'd probably be boring. It's like that with any other sport. It's what goes on in the back of the pack, or how a driver comes from 34th to 2nd in 50 laps. That's good stuff.

Stilly said...


ROFL you missed soccerblog during Euro 08. There are actaully a good amount of soccer fans here.. at least fans of european competitions.


Dan said...

stilly - u think stewart's gonna start a 3rd team?

nhl gets jobbed by EA, period. the 2nd roster release wasn't available until the playoffs started.

Stilly said...


I think if Truex can get out of his contract he could. Tony's had a good relationship with Bass Pro, who sponsor some of his open wheel stuff. Really all you need to start up the teams is sponsorship. If Truex gets out of his contract and Bass Pro leaves DEI (everyone is jumping ship at DEI) it's a real possibility. Lots of ifs, but that would be a pretty formidable team.

Original Nathan said...

I too find radio broadcasts of NASCAR races really entertaining. Part of the appeal to me is creating what's happening in your mind's eye.

TheNWChica said...

@jawsh: I think I know where the second one is from...If I'm not mistaken, it's from a set of posters that the Canucks did in the early 90's and one was of them dressed as a construction crew. I know because I have most of them here in my office. And no, it doesn't make sense out of context.

Stilly said...


No doubt. MRN broadcasts + being at the track = sensory overload. Highly entertaining.

HockeyFan7187 said...

Hi everyone I just got here.
About NASCAR I find it boring unless you are actually driving and the announcing is also dull to me.
And the Lemieux reference in a rap song, someone on here should make a penguins tribute song

bakedziti said...

this Re-Up Gang song has a Lemieux reference @ around 1:40 into it

also this washington d.c. rapper Wale drops Lindros, Zendik, and of course Ovechkin references starting at 50 seconds

Scutum said...

@stilly: Sorry I missed that. Got in an argument at work when I flipped it on, changing the channel away from Tiger @ the Open. I follow Premiership as much as I can without the package. MLS is a joke, but getting better. It takes time starting from nothing, it's only been what, 14 years? In the meantime, the nats have a favorable group for WC qualifying.

@dan: I thought I had read that the PC version of 08 never even got the FIRST roster update, let alone a second.

Stoosh said...

@ Jonathan -

Thanks for the clarification on "DIKY!" I figured that's what the general meaning of that term was. Half my family hails from the Czech/Slovak/Polish descent, and they would speak Polish or Slovak from time to time when I was a kid. "Diky" was one of those words I vaguely remember from those days.

I just like the possible application to Pensblog lore...even though it was quite a stretch.

HockeyFan7187 said...

I have been thinking about this since the pensblog's Panic at Guy Lafleur's Disco entry, after reading it I envisioned Mario Lemieux singing I was made for Loving your Five hole to the KISS song I was made for loving you.

Dan said...

stilly - theresa = epic fail. wonder how pissed junior will be if she sells DEI now that everyone knows she a bitch and doesn't want to work for her. Plus it would reunite him with junior. you'd pretty much have newman, johnson, gordon, junior, stewart, truex, and martin in the same stable. THAT'S RIDICULOUS!

Dan said...

scutum - really? they give updates all the time for madden and ignore nhl, it's pretty shitty how it gets looked over.

BlacknGold66 said...

ESPNblog/rant/sociology lecture

What's funny is watching people back down oh-so-quickly after jobbing a sport like hockey or soccer... or basically any other sport that the main-stream media pokes fun at.

It's that whole thing that people have where if you don't know something (i.e. you are ignorant to it) then you poke fun at it.

It happens in all sorts of things in life.

But so many people ignorant to things like hockey, soccer, curling, etc. get forced fed sarcasm about said sports from the likes of ESPN and such that it catches on and becomes "trendy" in their fragile minds to join in on the fun.

That route is easier than having an opinion for yourself based on what YOU think of the sport.

But the WWL doesn't care about promoting sports other than the ones that help them make the big bucks...

MLB they have to talk down about the sports that they don't air that don't give them any profit at all. It's "reporting" about all sports without giving the ones they don't broadcast too much love because those other sports are, in fact, the competition.

ESPN almost has a bullying tactic for getting people to watch the sports that help make them tons of money.

So manhood/manliness then gets thrown into the equation.

You aren't a normal tough red-blooded American if you don't want news about football 24/7.

You will not survive around the water cooler at work tomorrow with your "Brah's" if you don't know the latest about A-Rod.

And thusly....

You must be one of those weird Canadian's if you want news about hockey.

Just yesterday I had people over for a cook-out. The conversation shifted to our local Arena Football team.

One of my best friends started cracking on Arena Football although he's never been to a game.

I, mind you, have never been to one either. But I'm not going to turn down tickets. And I'm sure as hell not going to crack on a sport with a small market just because it has a small market. I've never watched an arena football game, live or on tv. But like Snoop Dogg said, "Don't knock it til you try it."

So I defended Arena Football and asked if he gave the same treatment to all sports that he didn't watch, namely hockey.

Needless to say he backpeddled and like I said at the beginning of this rant... was fun to watch him do just that.


HockeyFan7187 said...

Hey you will not believe what I saw on ESPN Classic, I saw a classic nhl Stanley cup Playoff game it had to be in the 90's considering the picture, roster and announcers, I think we were facing the Chicago BlackHawks and we won the game. Probably never see any NHL anything on ESPN again

Kierstan said...

I'm just wondering what's up with all of the Jiri Slegr recently...maybe it's because I'm new here, but I don't get it.

Dan said...

watching the title town segments is like watching an abortion

Dan said...

jiri slegr = ex pen

Kierstan said...

Thanks, Dan :) I actually did know that, but I was confused as to why so many pics over the last couple of days. Maybe it's just one of those mysteries I'm not meant to understand. :D

Also, I agree about the Title Town segments...blah.

Dan said...

jir slegr = funny hats

that's why

Original Nathan said...

Slegr was on the team the year we lost the 5 OT game to Philadelphia. Slegr got hurt during regulation in that game, and during one of the OT intermissions he came out and tried skating, but couldn't come back that night.

Amazing that the Pens lasted that long that night with only 5 defensemen.

Kierstan said...

Funny hats = definitely photo worthy. :)

prozach said...

yay for the Satan shirts.

Kierstan said...

@original nathan & dan - Thanks for the background. I'm a hockey fan in general, but don't have much of a chance to watch specific teams since a) we don't have Versucks, and b) my state eats, sleeps, and breathes college football (which is fine, it just lessens opportunites to experience other sports sometimes).

Hooks Orpik said...

There's a lot of great Jiri Slegr stories from his Pens days....I remember hearing him and some of the other Czech dudes (Robert Lang?) used to be pretty wild and pull a ton of snatch.

Dan said...

i have a relative that was going out with nedved for a while i'm told.......

Max Power said...

I just got my Greatest PENS Games DVD'snuts box set WOOOOOOOOOOO!
Me = so happy I could punch a nun

Victor Raison said...

BnG has a valid point. I started getting into obscure sports originally just to get away from the crowd and because sometimes I'm anti-establishment as a principle, but I try to keep an open mind and I've found that there is some cool shit out there.

Arena Football, though, is something I'm not sure about. It has it's place, but from what I've seen, it just strikes me as another ploy to make money off of football when the NFL isn't playing. (see: XFL, NFL Europe) That's just too much damn football for me, give me an intelligent sport.

Raybin said...

Random on topicness (Happy now Erik, you dick?)

To wrap up the general consensus from yesterday:

Peso - Sid - Satan

Fedotenko - Malkin - Sykora

Dupuis - Staal - Kennedy

Cooke - Talbot - Godard

Orpik - Gonchar

Whitney - Eaton

Gill - Letang


Scuderi and Goligoski as 7th and 8th D-men. (Still look for Sydor to get dealt if he'll waives his NTC)

That looks pretty damn good to me. Actually, I think that team is better off than last year's team was at the start of the season.

There's a couple of nitpicks: I don't think 4th line center gets Max the ice time he deserves and I wish I felt better about our backup goaltending (though you could admittedly do a lot worse than Sabu). Even playing with Malkin, I don't see Fedotenko getting any more than 20-22 goals rather than the 25-30 we'd like to see.

Still, that's all minor. The thought of that top line has me bouncing off the walls. Two sick finishers and the best setup man in the league. That third line will give other teams fits with its speed. And the fourth line may end up being the best in the league at going out and doing what it's supposed to do.

Basically, I just want to put to bed any lingering idiots who deny the truth of the following equation:

Shero = Superman

Dan said...

football is an intelligent game. it is like a human chess match. those guys are a lot smarter (for the most part) than people give them credit for being.

Raybin said...

I love football, but the world really only needs the NFL. Everything else I've ever seen eats sauteed monkey balls and likes it.

LargeTurkey said...

In fairness to people who hate on arena football, mls soccer and the similar leagues, the fact is that these leagues have far from the top talent. These leagues contain mostly players who could not make it in the top leagues. Why should espn devote time to these leagues.

The NHL is another story. But I do feel like ESPN, especially sportscenter,devoted a decent amount of time to The Eurocup and Wimbledon. Allbeit, both those events were broadcasted on ESPN.

Isn't the NHL's shafting in a way, the league's fault. They took more money to be on a worse network. Kinda like if Brooks Orpik had gone to play for Atlanta instead of signing with the Pens for less. Hockey used to be much bigger because of shows like NHL2Night. Furthermore, the discussion shows on ESPN (PTI, Horn, Rome, 1stand10) would talk about hockey if the network played it. Espn, after all, is a busineess and they give themselves the best chance to succeed by promoting sports that they show on their network.

Raybin said...

those guys are a lot smarter (for the most part) than people give them credit for being.

This is true. A lot of them are businessmen on the side and they have the most college education of any pro atheltes. The league requires them to complete at least three years of schooling.

Victor Raison said...

I spoke rather hastily. I meant 'intelligent' more in regards to the fans of the sport than the people playing it. I give a lot of credit to football players, hell, I'm still trying to figure everything about it and it's great to watch. But, in this culture, it's too easy to be a casual football fan.

cs2766 said...

The Lemieux reference is right around the 1:06 mark, or 66 seconds. Freaky.

Kierstan said...

I agree, the NFL does have more intelligent players than we're led to's just the less intelligent ones that get a lot of the face time (paging Michael Vick...). I'm from Nebraska, and we've had a few folks from here move on to the player I remember that played in the NFL came came back here after his career and ended up the president of his class in medical school.

Dan said...

got ya, victor.

Kierstan said...

@ victor - Oops, didn't see your next comment before I posted, hope I didn't come across as rude there.

Vern said...

Hahahaha, I read a left turn joke in here! It was hilarious!!!

TheNWChica said...

Well, it's officially official about Straka....


Stoosh said...

Here's the irony (and maybe even hypocrisy) of ESPN.

I was reading the Wikipedia entry for the "Arena Football League" and came across this little tidbit in the section about their television deals...

"NBC and the Arena Football League officially severed ties on June 30, 2006, having failed to reach a new broadcast deal. Las Vegas owner Jim Ferraro stated during a radio interview that the reason why a deal failed is because ESPN refused to show highlights or even mention a product being broadcast on NBC."

Not even six months later...

"On December 19, 2006, ESPN announced the purchase of a minority stake in the AFL. This deal includes television rights for the ESPN family of networks. ESPN will televise a minimum of 17 regular season games, most on Monday Nights, and 9 playoff games, including ArenaBowl XXI on ABC. The deal resulted in added exposure on ESPN's SportsCenter."

So in less than six months, Arena Football went from something ESPN wouldn't touch with a twenty-foot pole to something it was making part of its coverage across its networks and allocating time on Sportscenter for its highlights.

Granted, ESPN is under no obligation to cover something that, in effect, boosts the ratings of a competing network.

But then again, ESPN doesn't seem to mind showing Notre Dame football highlights or highlights of SEC football games, does it? Those highlights probably steer more viewers towards NBC and CBS than any highlights of Arena Football ever would.

Dr. Turkleton said...


seeing you post line combos and your giddiness towards them [I'm in the same boat as you!] made me think back to just a few short seasons ago to the opening 20 that skated out for the Pens to open the 05-06 season:




WoW! [/Verizon Fios Flea]. They've come a long way, baby!

off,offtopic: JJ always was a sucker for the spotlight.

[Jiri Bubla > Jiri Slegr]

Dan said...

and the funny thing is even on sportscenter afl gets no more time than the nhl

BlacknGold66 said...

Largeturkey said...

Furthermore, the discussion shows on ESPN (PTI, Horn, Rome, 1stand10) would talk about hockey if the network played it. Espn, after all, is a busineess and they give themselves the best chance to succeed by promoting sports that they show on their network.

Which is why I stated:

those other sports are, in fact, the competition

The arguement isn't whether or not ESPN needs to cover sports with "far from the top talent" because they do cover sports like that.

The arguement is why ESPN feels the need to bully the other sports such as hockey.

It's all marketing and money though.

ESPN doesn't need to cover hockey. But they do now and again so they can still be the self-proclaimed World Wide Leader in Sports.

My problem with them is their downplaying of sports that don't pump into the ESPN payroll.

If you want to only promote those sports in which you broadcast, and thusly, profit from... no problem.

But don't go around acting like you are real journalists...

Don't act like you cover all of the bases with sports...

Don't act like the high-school football star that's getting all of the towns attention while the hockey team is off winning the state championship.

That's exactly what ESPN does.

But I don't know what's worse:

ESPN's pompous sports-anchors, owners, advertiser's, and "scream at each other" shows.

Or the ignorant people that buy into it.

Stilly said...

From the sounds of things, ESPN hate the hell out of anything broadcast on NBC. If the NHL had made a deal to broadcast exclusively on ABC, you'd see coverage out the wazoo. ESPN has actually really stepped up TV coverage of NASCAR because they broadcast the Nationwide series, and the Sprint Cup series starting at the Brickyard in a few weeks. Their online coverage still blows nuts.

It all comes down to business unless your initials are MLB, NBA, or NFL. It's just highly irritating that they show fucking spelling bee highlights, but give the NHL a whole 2 minutes with Barry fucking Melrose. We won't even get that anymore. If it weren't for John Buccigross, I don't think ESPN would be aware the NHL actually exists.

Dan said...

canooks sign demitra

a tree fell in the forest

no one gave a shit

Raybin said...


Wow. Quite a turnaround. Almost too incredible for belief when you think about it.

Glad my enthusiasm comes through. Hope it rubs off! :) I'm a sucker for personnel stuff and the shuffling of lines and solving of salary cap problems and stuff. I love it.

In a similar vein, I was thinking about the fact that the Red Wings have maybe the most terrifying starting five in the league:

Datsyuk - Zetterberg - Hossa

Lidstrom - Rafalski

That's f'ing nightmare inducing I have to admit, as much as I hate the Wings. The sheer two-way skills on display there is enough to make one choke.

Raybin said...



Love it.

Sorry, I can't hear Demitra, I'm asleep dreaming of Pesonen and Satan.

Dr. Turkleton said...


what I don't understand is if the 4-letter network doesn't show hockey...why do people bitch, YET STILL WATCH THE NETWORK!

there are SO many other avenues to get your hockey fix nowadays, that I can't remember when the last time I ever watched a Sportscenter™. I'll watch the WSOP and Golf on the WWL...but, that's about it.

For those of you who have the ability to get the NHL Network and can spend about $5 per month to subscribe...[IT'S.WELL.WORTH.THE.MONEY.]

you will NEVER go to E*PN or Fox whatevertheycalltheirhiliteshow Sports between October and June to try and find anything Hockey related.

Chris Berman's Network has turned into the modern day MTV, when it comes to morphing their selection of programming into something that I no longer care to watch.

Stilly said...


I think Datsuck's Cerebral Palsy will limit his ice time this year. Seriously, he's either got CP or down syndrome (not to be confused with AIDS). I mean have you seen the guy?

In all seriousness, I'm sure that lineup will give the western conference fits. Let's just hope some team out west figures out what works against a lineup like that.. that or hope for seasonal attrition come playoff time.

Dan said...

@ raybin

on top of that, this selanne rumor makes me feel all tingly inside too!

TheNWChica said...

*waves hand like Horshack* I care about who the Nucks sign....don't know how much he's gonna help, but can't hurt.

Stilly said...

@dr. turk

I just realized about a week ago that I get the NHL network. My wife promptly boarded a plane to visit her sister in Florida.

Raybin said...


The 'Hawks have the cure:

Havlat - Towes - Kane

Campbell - Seabrook

Huet > Conklin and = Osgood


What Selanne rumor?

Stilly said...


If the teem-ster comes to Pittsburgh, we'll win the ever important experience battle almost every game. haha.

Raybin said...


Of course I meant "Toews"

I know, I'm a joke.

Dan said...

@ raybin - someone brought it up to wyshynski in a chat yesterday, and i forget his exact words, but he hears good things.......

@ stilly - we would not only win experience, but guys with double letters in their first and last name, and guys named teemu. it's almost as fun saying it as it is luca caputi!

Raybin said...

Having Selanne on this team for a year or two would be sexy indeed, but he's a right wing isn't he? We're stocked up there with Satan and Sykora. Do you really put him on the third line for what you'll have to pay?

Dan said...

well, i am making the assumption he comes here at a nice discount. i think it has something to do with pesonen. and move him to left wing, or move satan, or don't, whatev, what do i know?

Dr. Turkleton said...


man, just wait until the season is in full swing and NHL On The Fly hits the airwaves...which is wall to wall game highlights...and not just 15 seconds of a goal and/or a fight...they show all the goals and most of the fights...and the usual hour-long show is repeated all night and into the next day up until about Noon.

hahaha...that's funny about your wife!...was it a one-way ticket?

all these rumors about more FA signings are dependent upon Shero trading someone to open up more space...the 1.78mil left right now isn't enough...ESPECIALLY if Peso makes the team, then his 875k will kick in towards the cap...and KS would be down to Chump Change.

so unless Shero is trying to sign some guy named Rufus Selanne for the league minimum....

Raybin said...

If you can get him at a discount, I'm all for the shuffling.

But I know less than you do, doubtless.

Raybin said...

Rufus Selanne? Hilarious!

Raybin said...


Only 1.78 million? I thought KS had like two and half to work with. Though it's pretty much all the same with only an 800 or 900K difference.

Dan said...

i now love track

Stilly said...

@dr turk

No she plans on returning home. She just needed a break from the playoffs and then the draft and then free agency. She's probably deny that hockey had anything to do with going to FL, but I know better.

Rochelle said...

Tribe Called Quest IS NOT obscure !

they are the BEST hip-hop group eveeeer.

they have ~ 8 albums !?

4 shame pens staff

Stilly said...

A tribe called quest = 1995

They're over. Jokes.

The Regular Joes said...

i'd also have to agree, ATCQ = classic

Dr. Turkleton said...


I've recently been going by's numbers

instead of

the has a HIGHER amount of cap space left [2.6m like you mentioned] but they don't include GoGo as being a cap 'hit' {which NHLCAP does}]

I'm not 100% sure which site is correct...but I think that since GoGo DID play a few games for the's my understanding that his contract does count towards the Cap...

BUT. I've recently read conflicting information about HOW MUCH GoGo's cap hit should be...this is from the NHLSCAP site:


In the offseason, the following players count:
1. All players on 1-way contracts, regardless of where (or if) they were playing the previous year.
2. All players on 2-way contracts, in proportion to the number of days spent on an NHL roster the previous season.
3. All RFA's who have been extended a qualifying offer (while the offer is valid), with 1-way QO's counting in full and 2-way QO's counting as described in #2.
4. All RFA's signed to an offer sheet (such players count against the team extending the offer sheet while it is still valid).
5. All ordinary buyouts [those buyouts not executed immediately after the ratification of the current CBA].

-- Example: A player with an averaged salary of $500,000 and signed to a 2-way contract was on an NHL roster for 94 days in the previous season, which was 188 days long. During the offseason, he will count $500,000 x 94/188 = $250,000. During the season, he will count only while he is on an NHL roster.
-- Example: A player with an averaged salary of $1.25 million and signed to a 1-way contract was assigned to the AHL in the previous season and spent no days on an NHL roster. The player will still count $1.25 million during the offseason.

I'm assuming GoGo is on a 2-way contact for the 08-09 season...therefore, his cap hit [during the off-season] should only be a % of the time he spent on the roster last year...instead of what NHLSCAP uses [his full amount].

Dan said...

wu tang owns all

Dan said...

barden = joke

Stoosh said...

I'd love to see Teemu in a Pens jersey, but there's one thing that makes me a bit wary of these Selanne rumors. I seem to recall him saying once before that he prefers to stay out on the West coast. I think that's a big reason why he came back to Anaheim after he and Kariya went to Colorado for a couple of years prior to the lockout.

If we could somehow convince him that the "North Shore" or Sandcastle wasn't all that far removed from Huntington Beach, that move would be aces.

Stoosh said...

Even jokes are laughing at Don Barden right now.

What a mess.

TheNWChica said...

@Stoosh: I agree with Teemu...since his kids are school age and into hockey/sports I don't see him picking up and moving; but I could be wrong, Nazzy did it from VAN to NYR.

Raybin said...

since his kids are school age and into hockey/sports

Who better to teach them to bury it than 66? :)

Scutum said...

@dan: I think you're right, the Selanne interest is similar to the Pens signing Jiri Hrdina to assist JJ with his transition to North America and life in the NHL, this time for Pesonen as you suggested. At least that makes the most sense. At 38 or whatever Teemu is now, they aren't looking for an all star.

@raybin: I spend time looking at personnel, too. I had to make a clearer copy of that HockeyBuzz chart to study. But if anything, the post showing the opening day roster from just 2 years ago tells us not to get too attached to these guys.

Raybin said...


Indeed. Just get attached to the core: Sid, Gino, Staal, Whitney, Letang, Orpik, Fleury.

Truthfully, though, I wouldn't be surprised to see Sykora sign a 3 or 4 year extension next year. I could also see Gonchar playing out his career here. Depends on if they'll jeopardize Shero locking up Staal and Letang (The remainder of his core group for the next 7ish years)

Raybin said...

Of course I also said the same things about Hossa too.

eileenover said...

Barden might as well jump off a bridge. What a failure.

Stilly said...

time for a smoke (tony stewart press conference) break.

Stoosh said...

@ BNG66 -

Your take on ESPN at 12:57PM is just awesome. Commit.

I grew up with ESPN...I can remember watching the very early formations of NFL GameDay when Berman and his nicknames were still clever, no one really knew who Mel Kiper was, and Pete Axthelm was as good as analysts got. I remember whwn Baseball Tonight actually gave a damn about covering all the teams in the league equally and not just seemingly focusing on the Yankees, Red Sox and Cubs.

As it's been close to ten years now since ESPN began their gradual slide into suckitude, I've been able to filter out the good programming that still exists there from the bad.

Their college football programming is still very good, particularly their recap shows. College GameDay is one of the few preview shows that I still make it a point to try and watch every week. Some of their NFL coverage and analysis is good, although I still prefer the NFL Network a little bit. And their baseball analysis and coverage is getting better than it's been.

To be honest, my favorite ESPN channel is ESPN-U. The programming and analysis is always very straightforward and mostly devoid of any of the crap you see on their other networks.

TheNWChica said...

@raybin: True. :)

Maria said...

Could we get I heart Satan shirts? That would make me a happy girl.

And I am so freaking excited for NHL 09. More than any girl should be.

I'm glad to see the cotton candy/lemonade man is keeping in shape in the offseason.

Dan said...

i hear there is a shirtless mode on nhl 09 for the ladies......

Stilly said...

dan did you say a shirtless lady mode?

Dan said...

stilly, that IS the internet

somechic said...

well there has to be shirtless mode or no females would buy it!

Max Power said...

Don Barden is looking to change the ownership of the Casino! That thick fuck pulled strings and bribes to get the license whilst we PENS loyalists had to start sharpening our knives over the possibility that our team be uprooted from this city's good earth! They should give it to Isle of Capri now! Let them build the rink! I want to gamble in between periods god damn it! Gambling at a PENS game = almost my utopia

Dan said...

@ max - what if you gambled with donuts during the pens games?

somechic said...

dan beat me too it
cotton candy man becomes donut man then its utopia

Max Power said...

if cotton candy man started to sell donuts? hhhhhmmmmmmmm? I'd slip him a $50.00 at the start of every game so he'll remember my seat! 20 games into the season = my first heart attack

Max Power said...

3:15 and only 135 comments?

I like you all but you suck!

Dan said...

i've seen more lively zombies than this place today, geesh

Max Power said...

@ dan

Tag your it. No tag backs.

Dan said...

dammit i always lose at these games max!!!!!! let's play lawn darts instead!

Dan said...

oh oh oh let's play hide and go seek!!!!!!!! 1,2,3,4,5,6........

Raybin said...

In the summer, CBloggers post like old people fuck.

Maria said...

Is it wrong that I'm trying to convince my pregnant sister to decorate her baby's nursery Pittsburgh Penguins-themed?

Gah. Work=boring today. No one on c-blog=more boring.

Dan said...

raybin - i literally just lol'd

Dan said...

maria - is she going to have a baby penguin? is she going to name it after a penguin?

Max Power said...

I don't know about that raybin. My grandma smokes meth. I bet she humps like a banshee.

Maria said...

Her husband is pulling for Sidney/Sydney, depending on if it's a girl or a boy. A little tacky, but I don't care. Not my kid.

Max Power said...

I'm sure she really puts those new hips to the test!

Raybin said...

Max, I think I just died a little inside.

eileenover said...

Maria, I plan on buying my kids tons of Penguins clothes before they can shop for themselves.

Max Power said...

Sorry raybin. I tend to have that effect on people.

Maria said...

Eileen, I already bought the baby a little Crosby jersey. It is seriously the cutest thing I've ever seen.

eileenover said...

Aw that's so cute. If I have any girls, I'm definitely buying them cheerleading outfits. Those are adorable.

jefe penguino said...

i get to wear my straka jersey again ftw.


Dan said...

@ max - i almost just choked on a cream saver reading that

if i have a daughter i am locking her up in the basement.

Max Power said...

If I have a daughter I'm moving to Lancaster and her is going to be Amish.

Max Power said...


Please insert the word "ass" between the words "her" and "is"

eileenover said...

Oh, just wait til she goes on her rumspringa max.

Max Power said...

That is not permissable eileen! I'm going to lojack her ass with a GPS system.

Max Power said...

And when she turns 18 she's going to switch faiths and become a nun!

eileenover said...

I remember on a Cold Case an Amish girl got pregnant on her rumspringa.

Maria said...

I remember when I was still living in Cambria County, Amish girls would come to the mall, change into regular clothes in the bathroom, and be non-Amish teens for the day. My friend actually went on a couple dates with this one girl and then found out she was Amish. Whoops.

eileenover said...

Haha Amish girls gone wild. We almost hit a buggy when we were in Lancaster once. They like to cut people off.

SexyChubbs said...

When I grew my weak-ass playoff "beard", I looked severely Amish.

Good afternoon everybody!

Colin said...

Okay, since ESPN was brought up earlier and met with some serious resistance, do any of you watch the FSN Final Score.

I am a fan.

bingbling said...

have we had anyone make any ray shero = superman photoshops? I'm thinking it's well deserved especially after thinking about how much damage our first and second lines will do.
and if it has, sorry for being a joke and not noticing.

Colin said...

Alright, I am stealing this from LGP but over there they are ranking the goalies in the Eastern Conference.

The majority of them have "The Rick" of the Isles ahead of MAF.

Agree or disagree?

I disagree.

bingbling said...

diagree. MAF = shield

Maria said...

Disagree. Did they even watch MAF during the playoffs? The man was a beast.

bingbling said...

who would you say is the worst starting goalie in the nhl?

TheNWChica said...

Disagree....Ricky is pretty, but not nearly as steady nor reliable as I think Fleur has become and will continue to be.

eileenover said...

Disagree. What a joke.

Original Nathan said...

Why move to Lancaster? There's a healthy Amish population in Clarion County, and you can easily get Penguins coverage while you're there.

We'd always see them when we were going to visit my mom's family in Oil City when traveling via Altoona.

Raybin said...

Heartily disagree. Fleury >>>> DiPiejoke

The best in the East? Marty Brodeur. Neck and neck between Fleury and Lundqvist for second.

PietrangeloSavesTheDay said...

good day fellow cbloggers, long time reader.. but first post.. obviously..

I figured with the slow nature of todays cblog.. why not make my first appearance?!

First off, I am a fellow yinzer from the burgh.. but transplanted next door to the land of ESPN up here in Southington, CT..

and the rumors I'm hearing as of late..
the worldwideleader is putting an offer on the table to thepensblog to dish out FREE CANDY..
I'm hearing 5yrs at 1.65lbs/season..

anyways.. just wanted to drop in and say whatsup and get my feet wet early in the cblog pool for the upcoming season..


Original Nathan said...

who would you say is the worst starting goalie in the nhl?

Probably Martin Gerber in Ottawa. Although we could easily see Jose Theodore regain that status this season in Washington.

jefe penguino said...

"SKATE on your crew like mario lemiuex" would make more sense.
should i make the ringtone? too late..



how about a lemieux/shero campaign for '08.

Colin said...

@ bingbling -

Any combination of...

Jason LaBarbera
Martin Gerber
Mathieu Garon
Chris Mason
Olaf Kolzig

Some of those guys were not starters for the full year, but I guess that is what you can expect when you suck.

Maria said...

Lemieux/sHero '08 would be tight, but my vote would still have to go to Stewart/Colbert.

bingbling said...

lemieux shero '08
I guess we need to get new poster since roberts left us.

eileenover said...

My thoughts exactly original nathan.

M. Vanderlasser said...

Pensblog Shift Report
Date: July 10, 2008
Shift: Day
Time: 3:26 am - 4:00 pm
Total Comments: 168
Comments Lost Due To Injury: 0

Topics and # of related comments

Jiri Slegr: 14
ESPN suckiness: 14
Rap/hockey: 13
NASCAR is boring/no it isn’t: 12
Soccer, arena football, WNBA, etc.: 11
Teemu: 11
maxpower’s hypothetical daughter’s Amish/Catholic nun’s ass and tracking thereof: 9
Young Canadian homosexuals: 8
Line suggestions: 6
Baby themes: 6
maxpower’s grandmother (includes meth smoking, humping, new hips): 4
NHL 2008/9 (includes shirtless player option): 4
Pensblog is boring today: 4
Tag (and other yard games): 4
Sports Illustrated covers: 4
Don Barden: 4
“The Core”: 3
NHL network: 3
Demitra: 3
Hot female athletes/shirtless females: 3
Salary Cap: 3
Wake up call: 3
Flower = #1: 3
Bacon: 2
BGL: 1
Hossa: 1
Nuns (punching): 1
Straka: 2
Ray Shero = Superman: 1
“First”: 1
Satan (hockey player): 3
Satan (Prince of Darkness): 0
Sven VantHourenhout: 0
Alyssa Milano: 0
Mint Milano: 0
Café Milano: 0
Tour de France: 0
UFO videos: 0
Unable to classify: 5

Respectfully submitted,


Colin said...

Top 5 Eastern Conference goalies according to colin...

1.) Brodeur (but not for much longer)
2.) Lundy (I'll give him the edge because I am feeling generous)
3.) MAF (beast, soon to be No.1)
4.) Ryan Miller (dude is probably dying alive in Buffalo with that team)
5.) The Rick / Vokoun / Carey Price

Raybin said...


Gerber? Really? I think there are FAR worse.

Jose Theodore recently shot to the top cotender position. Mike Smith. Kari Lehtonen. Vesa Toskala.

stokes said...

I hate ESPN. i go out of my way to avoid it. I don't have to say any more since its all been said already. But it sucks and i DON'T watch it anymore.

Barden makes me want to punch myself in the nuts. Actually, the PA Gaming Board makes me want to punch myself in the nuts. Only in PA.... barf....

It wasn't very long ago when a recap post would only generate 60-80 comments. this 'turning the page' stuff only happened after Staff starting registrations and the playoffs. I dont care one way or another, but it wasn't always the 200+ commenter generator it is today.

MAF is way better than Ricky. I'll take him anyday of the week. I hope the Isles like paying for a bum hip for the next 14 years.

M.Van...nice work!

Raybin said...

Carey Price = EXPOSED by the Flyers

TheNWChica said...

@m. vander: I didn't see on your list 2 posts with donuts, which are, as far as I know, still crazy delicious.

jefe penguino said...

Café Milano needs some love.


bingbling said...

@ m.vander
i want to thank you for that.
and then i want to question your sanity.

TheNWChica said...

I hope Carey Price continues to be exposed! Dub hate flaring up again! ;P

eileenover said...

Carey Price = FAIL.

bingbling said...

mr. pibb + red vine = crazy delicious

BlacknGold66 said...

Thanks Stoosh.

It's always humbling when the one we Commit to, himself commits back.

@Turk: You and I see eye to eye on this one. I honestly don't remember the last Sportscenter I watched. When "On The Fly" comes back on everything else in my life will suffer. That show OWNS me.

Speaking of which Turk... don't you have DirecTV?

I just recently got it after my move and I recall you saying something (I think it was you) during the season about getting both the home and away broadcasts on Center Ice.

For example... if we play the Rangers... One channel will have the FSN Pittsburgh feed and the next channel will have the MSG feed.

Is there truth to this? I noticed that the MLB Package (which I don't have) channels have both the home and away feeds.

That'd be great if it was like that for the Center Ice package.

This season will be my first full season of Pens hockey on tv since prior to the Blue Jackets taking away our $1 a month viewing.

Not-to-mention that I know have Versucks as part of my cable system.

Me = Stoked!!!

SexyChubbs said...

M. Van -

You are to be commended. Great job!

Max Power said...

m.van you must be as bored at work as I am. Nice work though.

Colin said...

Carey Price did get worked by the Cryers, but I don't remember MTL helping him out much.

Maybe I maybe that pick based on talent / potential, but I will stick with it.

I don't think Toskala is that bad either. The team in front of him is just brutal.

M. Vanderlasser said...

nwchica, right on...I missed a total of 3 donut-related comments. I am VERY sorry.

I meant IN NO WAY to imply that donuts are not crazy delicious.

By the way, does maxpower's grandmother have a facebook page?

Maria said...

I have a soft spot for Toskala. Don't ask me why. I'm slightly ashamed I like anything to do with the Maple Leafs.

eileenover said...

I don't even have have anything against Price, but I thought it was hilarious when he choked in the playoffs. Maybe I'm just cruel.

eileenover said...


SexyChubbs said...



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