Friday, May 23, 2008

One More Night

We don't care who you are or where you're from...
You can find a Phil Collins song that addresses everything you come across in life.

It's Friday. Tomorrow's Saturday.
Everything having anything to do with the Finals, we have tried to find.

Cblog has spoken up, voicing every opinion from every possible corner of Penguins fandom,
leaving us with nothing to bring to the conversation.
And we love it.

[ James Mirtle ] gathered 4 bloggers, The Pensblog included, to partake in a quick Q&A.
Here's what we had to say:

#1. We've seen features on Pascal Dupuis, odes to Dallas Drake and in-depth histories of the octopus and Mellon Arena. What is the best untold story of the teams in the final?

It is hard to find untold stories, because every blogger and columnist in the Western Hemisphere has told us even what the players eat for lunch. The ironic twist with this one is that the untold story is what everyone is mentioning as their unknown story in their articles. And that would be the Pens' defensive corps. If the Wings want to underestimate the discipline and talent on the Pens' blue line, we'll take it.

#2. Who has the edge in goal in this series?

GAA, we feel, is based more on the defensive style that a team plays. Solid defense equals low-percentage shots being given up. The Wings and Pens both have sported great GAA, and consequently, their goaltenders have great save percentages. This is truly a toss-up. Anyone who says Osgood is better than Fleury will bank on Osgood's past accomplishments, which have nothing to do with how each goalie is presently playing. Anyone who says MAF is better than Osgood doesn't respect Osgood.

#3. Can a team be too young to win the Cup?
(Or ... how big of a factor is experience?)

Mirtle: What about experience?

Pensblog: Let's see now. You know, come to think of it, we have no idea what that means.

Mirtle: Well, it means to have a little more —

Pensblog: We know what you think it means. Personally, we think it's a made-up word, a blogger's word; a word so young fellas like yourself can wear a suit and tie and run a blog. What do you really want to know? Are the Red Wings better because they're older?

Mirtle: Well, are they?

Pensblog: Every day that goes by, the Red Wings get older. They wish they could go back, but they can't. Sooner or later, the grey area between being experienced and being old becomes focused, especially when you have a hungry group of talented players chomping at the bit to expose it.

Experience? That's a bullshit word. So just go on ahead and post your blog there, sonny, and stop wasting our time. Truth is, we don't give a shit.

#4. Using a haiku (20 words or less) who is your Conn Smythe pick?

Malkin, Hossa, Bing
On ur rinkz, scoring big goalz

Stanley Cup in sight


[ PSAMP ] had a startling revelation.
Two guys in these Finals have in fact played against each other in the Finals before.


First team ever to win the Cup on Montreal ice or something ridiculous like that.

And Chris Chelios hates Detroit:

Coupled with Chris Osgood.
The Red Wings are the biggest liars in the game.

[Nate B]


:: The Stanley Cup Finals are here.
Quick, somebody give us 10 ways the NHL can improve. [ The Canoe Dossier ]

:: Pens in 6. Jim Kelley. [ Sportsnet ]
:: Pens in 6. Twice. [ Columbus Dispatch ]
:: Pens in 7. [ Marty Henwood, ]
:: Wings in 6. [ Stan Fischler ] Who?

:: The pressure is on Bing. [ Damien Cox ]
:: Osgood just wins. [ Damien Cox 2.0 ]
:: Hockey has changed. [ The Hockey News ]
:: All About Gino. [ Ottawa Citizen ]
:: Hype is building. [ Paul Kukla ]
:: Pens playoff run is to be admired. [ Henwood, ]

Smokin' Jim chimed in with his own assessment. [ Detroit Tigers ] via [ KK ]
"May the best team win."

[<span class=

Today's version of the DreamCatcher:
[ Brian Engblom Approval Ratings Poll ]


[ The Post-Gazette ] has released some unreal downloadable poster cards for the SCF.
You can download them at that link.

They are all business with their Pens coverage, too.

So solid.

[ The Detroit Free Press ] caught wind of it.

They announced a call to arms,
asking Wings fans to submit their own poster cards and what-have-you.


Our first photoshop sent:

We encourage you to send them some.

:: Seth at [ Empty Netters ] released a great breakdown
on #1 draft picks and how quickly they get to the Cup.

Also from the PG:

[Tom Quinn's] photoshop for us last year:

Both are as solid as you can get.


Stephen S. made some sick posters:


Check this guy out.

His name is Stanley Cup. [ Trib ]

"The steelworker, an avid Penguins fan, was unable to purchase tickets to watch his favorite team skate for the trophy that bears his name. Until Thursday, Cup planned to watch the playoff games on a big screen TV with friends at the Tunnelton Inn, where his photo -- taken several years ago with him holding his namesake -- hangs above the bar."

Dennis Franz may or may not play in Game One.
[c1630c706<span class=
No link, because like 8 people care.


Remember this turd from yesterday?

He obviously littered the e-mail with typos and stuff
to guarantee we'd fall into the trap of saying Red Wings are illiterate, stupid, etc.

But hold the phone.

We got another e-mail today from the same guy,
this time using better grammar than Mark Twain.

[Picture+6.<span class=

Too bad we can't admit everything in his previous e-mail was correct since he stated no one on the Penguins' team has won Rookie of the Year.

We brought it to his attention that Malkin had indeed won the award.
And we got this reply:

Has the award even been given out for this year yet?
What a jackass.

The guy is now eating crow.
And by "crow," we mean his own pubes.



We simply refuse to throw Mayor Luke under the proverbial bus.
Mainly because Jerome Bettis would charge us $100 to use the word "bus."

Picture: Bettis turns the corner and runs toward a $5 bill someone dropped in the end zone.

But WTAE obtained an e-mail thread that says it was in fact The Force who shut down the idea for the big Pens' banners, not the other way around. [ WTAE ]

Here is what the banners would have looked like:

Pensblog has obtained a classified document depicting a sign
that is rumored to be going up on the Steel Building downtown.

:: State Rep Jesse White from the Fighting 46th
says he'll find his own way to Detroit, thank you very much.
[ Jesse White ]



The battle between Mark Madden and Bob Smizik is getting ugly.

Apparently Madden said something about Ted Kennedy.

Smizik flipped out. [ PG ]


[ Vinnie from The X ]
We probably owe him 25 cents for posting those Benz photoshops over there.


[ Sandy and John ] have assured us that no animals will be harmed during this series
with this dude keeping guard:

All Business


[ demondg1 ]



:: A guide to hockey. [ Trib ]
:: A shoutout to our old friends at [ NPI ]. Solid preview, girls.
:: Pucktoons from Earl Sleek. [ Fanhouse ]

:: Welcome back, Pittsburgh Sports insider. [ KDKA ]
:: Stop whining about the refs. [ Battle of California ]
:: Sweet Goalie masks. [ Masks from the past ]


And finally...

42 years ago today.


Happy Birthday, Gary Roberts.

Take it away Tiff...

Go Pens


paul said...

first? sorry, i had to do it :X

sh0ez said...

Second! No one around tonight/this morning? Hah.

Happy Birthday WWGRD!


letsgopsu said...

Great post staff.

Couldn't sleep (no jobbing IHKaspar, I went to bed, just couldn't fall asleep. That's way different than being back 2 minutes after you say you're going to bed).


I wish I was still drunk.

Or asleep.

Or that it was Saturday @ 8:00 PM

Any of those would do.

H.C. Prick said...

Wild Turkey + cups of free coffee = 4:40 am post. The fact that it's Stanley Cup Finals Eve also adds to the fact that I can't sleep. (I'm still waiting for the video of a dead wings fan trying to kill an actual penguin... (Dear A.L.F. firebomb Detroit if this actually happens.)

anthony doom said...

you have to be kidding me!!


i dont think any pens fans are getting much sleep during this long wait though.


Antonette said...

When the room mate's alarm goes off at 5:17, the first thing I think is "Hey, I can go read the blog."



Happy Gary Roberts day. Or Christmas, as it were.

Nick Saia (usa) said...


The Big K said...

Can you give us the email address of the tool who sent you guys the email in the blog? He will find out, first hand, the meaning of jobbing.

Do it.

Matt Gajtka said...

I'd hate to be a hater, but...

I went to Duquesne my sophomore year of college and roomed with a kid named Matt Cup. We were watching TV one night when we saw a story about this "Stanley Cup." Matt just laughs and proceeds to tell me that this is his cousin who barely knows anything about hockey and just pretends to do so for the media. He's even parlayed his name into an appearance on the Dave Letterman show.

Stan Cup is not a Penguins fan or even a hockey fan...don't let him fool you.

threshhold9k said...

False. Today can't be Gary Roberts birthday. IF Gary=God then he either created himself or was not born at all. Today is rather the day that we celebrate Gary allowing all of us to exist.

Whistler said...

I urge all of you to go out and purchase a bottle of Fiji Water in honor of this special day.

SK said...

Your take on "experience" is dead on.

It's the Finals. Both teams are going to be amped up and hungry. The Red Wings have not yet experienced the Penguins. Let them underestimate.

aunt penny said...

Good morning.

Happy Roberts Day!

Tiff -- YOU ROCK! That was awesome.

Gotta love a bulldog...between Roberts and the Bulldog ...all puppies are sleeping better now.

And Wholly's sez they will sell no octopii to Detroit fans.

Go Pens!


somechic said...

I'm with whistler...Fiji all day long.

Beav said...

The NHL is scared, obviously the only reason that they didn't have game one of the Stanley Cup Finals on the greatest recurring day in history. Happy Birthday Gary Roberts WWGRD

Hooks Orpik said...

One of my favorite quotes from the facebook group:

"Gary Roberts was born in a log cabin in North York, Ontario that he built with his own hands weeks in advance."

dying alive said...

So are any c-bloggers heading down to Mellon tomorrow night? My plans have changed and I'm going to be in town after all. I was thinking about possibly heading down for the game if I can talk my friend into skipping a party she was supposed to go to and coming with me.

Also, I am going to start murdering faces if I can't figure out how to get Pens ringtones onto my phone.

Regardless of who is at fault for not getting those banners up, it is pathetic. I hope someone from the city government actually reads this (and chances are good, all things considered)...if you all want to know why young people flee to the suburbs and other cities as fast as they can, crap like this is your answer. Politics in this town are beyond retarded. They can't even pull their heads out of their asses long enough to put up a couple of signs.

Stilly said...

For anyone who missed cblog last night.. it was epic. 817 posts. Good stuff.

Happy Gary Day everyone!

Only 36 more hours...

Fleury29 said...


And a happy Gary Day to all!

Awesome post.

One more night, what a classic and so appropriate. You're right about finding a Phil Collins song for every occasion. What about tomorrow? Something In The Air? Goosebumpsblog.

Man, I'm so fucking excited it's not even funny but I'm going to be visiting relatives this weekend and may not be able to watch the game. Horrible.

I figure that it's karma, though since if there's a game six, I'm ditching out on seeing my grandma to go to it... or at least sit in the lawn by gate three and watch it on a big screen. The PA family reunion couldn't have come at a better time!

Fleury29 said...

Oh and I noticed lots of people talking about good alcohol last night.

My picks? The Glenlivet scotch and Yuengling on the beer side. I also enjoy a good Moscow Mule on a hot day (Vodka+Ginger Beer*+lime+ice)

(*Note, Gingerbeer is not the same as Ginger ale.)

bbakersmith said...

TIFF "Mr Roberts Sir"...

Tremendous! Epic, a great effort.

Stilly said...

Hm... Never had Ginger Beer before. According to Wikipedia it has a kick (i.e. the Mule part of Moscow Mule)

I knew that beerblog was far too interesting to end with yesterday's post.. haha

bbakersmith said...

for those who haven't, you must check out the video at the end.

To Tiff... Tremendous effort!!!

Lyrics, pics, all of it.

Whistler said...

I have to work a baseball game tomorrow night. Talk about being miffed.

I'll have to figure how to work pre-game and then run in to post the prayer.

Matt said...

The guy named Stanley Cup was given 2 tickets to game 4 donated by Trib Total Media. So this guy had better luck getting free tickets the Mayor Lukey.

FakeDannyStag said...

boycott Benkovitz Seafood in the strip!

Benkovitz employee Cindy Norman doesn't mind selling octopi to red wings fans since "she doesn't watch hockey". what a jackass!

Augie Zybynski -Editor said...

saddam hussein has weapons of mass destruction.
i was shot at on the runway of a bosnian airport
i never had sex with that woman.
there you go sponge bob, those are outrageous statements
i hope he called the kopechne's.
thats just in bad taste-tho not for me.
take a powder

Stilly said...

WTF. That post isn't even a coherent though.

Stilly said...


Me = Joke

xuscbausp said...

happy gary day, everybody.
less than 36 hours. good gary.

J.S. said...

what does that post even mean?


Zac Wassink said...

TSN presents a MAF Vid:

xuscbausp said...

national holiday: celebrating the birth of gary

less than 36 hours: until game time

justwokeupblog. sorry for confusion

Stilly said...


I'm not sure he was talking about your post. I think the one about Saddam was the one he was referencing.

Gary be with you.

wilsmith said...

Whatever happened to Tiff?

Seeing the Phil video brought back memories of musicblog over the summer. man, the 80s sure were awesmoe, and we found every awesomely bad 80s video out there.

xuscbausp said...

haha sorry guys. i really gotta wake up and read twice before i post. well good morning nonetheless

dougsquared said...

Tom Quinn might want to check out the PG's homepage.

mmmk1989 said...

happy bday WWGRD

going to the rally! im so pumped up! we drove down last night from NYS (i live near canada, so it was an 8 hour drive) to come watch game one and two with family and go to the rally


tecmo said...

For the Stanley Cup clincher - "Take Me Home."

What a song

What an artist

dougsquared said...

Ignore previous comment. I am stupid.

JYo said...

GR's B-day, SCFeveblog!

Lets Go Pens!!!

Colin said...

@ Stoosh -

Going back to last nights went to W&J? As did I. Small world after all. Liberal Arts educations are the best for sure.

JYo said...

Another cool picture from EN.

DeCeV said...

Merry Garymas everybody. Last night was the night that happens every year when Gary Roberts comes down your chimney, consumes the cigar and whiskey that you leave out for him, and punches your mom in the face. He just leaves through the wall.


Don't tell me that you're Screwball as well.

dying alive said...

Our Detroit (or more specifically, Livonia) office is engaging in some chicanery. All of the interoffice mail delivered today from MI had Red Wings logos plastered all over the envelopes. In the spirit of sportsmanship, they'll all be receiving a friendly email later today containing that picture of Chris Chelios lifting his walker in celebration.

threshhold9k said...

@ Colin

Haha. I'll be graduating from W&J next spring. Was Dr. Dodge teaching when you attended because he still is; honestly I think he is a robot.

Colin said...

@ threshhold9k -

He certainly was (I only graduated in 2006 though). I never had him for any classes though, I was an accounting major.

Stilly said...

Pfft Juniata > W&J

great_white_nwpa said...

wow, another great post on about pumping up the crowd.....i want to walk into the next room and punch my little sister right in the face now....i'm sure she'll thank you too

Stilly said...


That's actually one of the best ways to celebrate Gary Roberts Day. Randomly punching people in the face is perfectly acceptable as long as you say "Gary be with you" after.

tecmo said...

St. Vincent College > Juniata > W&J

Colin said...

By the way, just want to give judos to staff for a week of SOLID posts. Great stuff as always on the week off. And finally, you guys dominated that interview with Mirtle.

On the Indiana Jones 'shop from the PG, Malkin is wearing his old RBK helmet and Zetterberg is wearing his old Itech lid. Does anyone else ever notice this stuff?

tecmo said...

@ me

if we're going to discuss small liberal arts colleges

great_white_nwpa said...

@ stilly

now that my little sis is bleeding from the nose and wondering why life (and her big brother) are so fucking cruel....and all she wants to know is "who's gary roberts?"...psshh, does that deserve a follow up right hook?

Stilly said...


I'd say so, maybe a shot upside the head with a bottle of Fiji would get her better acquainted with our Gary.

Stilly said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Stilly said...


Pffffft Juniata is wayyy more liberal artsy than St. Vincent. Juniata is the liberal arts standard. We have more liberal arts experience and have a better liberal arts +/-

Matt Gajtka said...


I can't believe it, but the DEEtroit Free Press posted your Chelios 'Chop with the rest of the potential posters that Wings fans sent in. Do they think you're paying Cheli a compliment??

Prob some dumb intern screening emails...whatev, we'll take it!

great_white_nwpa said...

@ stilly

oooh, good call....didn't even think about that...then she can use it to wash the blood and tears off of her face...Gary would be proud, me thinks

tecmo said...

My alma mater can kick you alma mater's ayass!

Stilly said...

Plus I'm pretty sure your alma mater doesn't have a rookie of the year...

Raybin said...

Headed to Hagerstown, MD for a vacation in a few hours to visit the Antietam battlefield for a weekend. If the hotel doesn't have Versus, I will scour the land for a sports bar.

The Civil War is basically my life. Sad, I know. But true!

So y'all are gonna have to hold down the fort without me. Which you seem to be doing an excellent job of. 817 comments in one thread? Holy Gary.


Pens 4, Wings 3.

tecmo said...

Yes, but we boast the vice chairman of the Chubb Corporation.

/arnie palmer and mr rogers' corpse just shed tears

Korn said...

Allegheny >>> St. Vincent College > Juniata > W&J

Go Gators...

TheNWChica said...

Happy Birthday Mr. Roberts!

I think a pitcher of margaritas may be mixed and consumed in your honour tonight.

Raybin said...

My hometown college of IUP boasts as an alumnus the founder of YouTube.

Before that, the most successful graduates were the Clarks.

Quite the academic powerhouse, you can see.

Raybin said...

I made the 66th comment.

Raybin buries it.

Dwayne said...

tiff: fan-fucking-tastic song. excellent lyrics tbp staff. whoever did instrumentals did a great job too.

i had a tear or too coming to my eyes while i listened to it, and i'm not afraid to admit it.

now that i've broken the sappy barrier, i gotta get this off my chest:

for some reason the other day, driving home, it just dawned on me how great sports can be. it brings together everybody, closer and more completely than just about anything else in the world short of maybe a cult.

every person who comes here is different. we all come from different walks of life. we have different faiths, different political beliefs, different social stations, different personality types, different everything.

but when the team you love is competing to reach the top, and in particular, when it's the stanley freakin' cup...

when the team you adore is standing together, all 20 of them, shoulder to shoulder; never backing down, ripping, tearing, grinding, clawing their way through 16 grueling wins; every last one of them dragging themselves forward on bloody fingertips, no quit in any of them, all of them keeping their laser-like focus on one goal and one goal only, doing it not only for themselves, but for their brothers next to them...

there's something beautiful in that that inspires us all. it draws us all together, regardless of how different we are. you could be the most fanatical of religious zealots, but when you're at a game or in a bar watching the game, it doesn't matter if the guy next to you practices satanism when he's at home; you love him like your brother. you don't care what the person is like, you're just pumped to be a part of this, along with others, witnessing something beautiful and in turn, making something even more beautiful as a result.

so yeah. hockey is a game. a game played by children, like all games. but there's something about the stanley cup finals; there's something about the process that elevates the simple game to something god-like. and witnessing it, just being that smallest part of it, it makes us forget how different we are and just bask in how alike we are and how something we all love transcends religion, class, personality - any social bounds you can think of, it is more important than any of them, and brings us all together in one common, glorious cause.

and that, my friends, is how the cup changes everything. it's not just a sappy slogan. it's absolute truth. and i'm just happy to be a part of it, with you all.

4 more wins.

42. the meaning of life, the universe, and everything.

let's go pens.

Vern said...

I think I'm going to make a Gary Roberts rap. In the mold of these:

great_white_nwpa said...

the weather up here has been horrible since last week...finally today, Gary smiles down from above....coincidence? i think not

Max Power said...


Slow day at work. Drinking my face off all day with hopes that I'll pass out early and wake up in the glorious morrow.

WWGD: Shove pedestrians all day long. Stare down the biggest guy on the street and shove if necessary.

God Damn it! I fucking love this city! Wooooooooooooo!

great_white_nwpa said...

@ max power

you aren't a city bus driver, are you?

Stilly said...


That's pretty funny. Some intern jobber actually posted the shop of Chelios hositing the walker. Maybe I'll send in the one of Chelios being spoon fed medicine in an old folks home.

The Seeker said...

cBlog Heads Up:

(from Empty Netters)

- The Sabres are putting together a DVD about the Winter Classic and are looking for fans' stories.

- has a poll up you all need to vote on!

Which player will record the most points in the 2008 Stanley Cup Final?

Total Votes: 130 (as of this post)

Sidney Crosby (PIT): 20.00%
Pavel Datsyuk (DET): 16.92%
Tomas Holmstrom (DET): 4.62%
Marian Hossa (PIT): 10.00%
Evgeni Malkin (PIT): 20.00%
Ryan Malone (PIT): 3.85%
Henrik Zetterberg (DET): 24.62%

Raybin said...

Holy crap.

The Pirates WISH they had a giveaway like that.

lauren_hbg said...

@ the seeker

thanks for that heads up on the WC stories contest... i just might have to partake.

great_white_nwpa said...

no love for Bugsy?

that's messed up

The Seeker said...

On they have an article titled "Tale of the Tape" which does direct comparisons between the Wings and Pens.

Not sure how accurate it is since they list OUR youngest player as Sidney Crosby. Jordan Staal is actually our youngest player.

Max Power said...

@ Dwayne

I don't think some people are going to the the 42. They lack a babblefish.

J.S. said...

One more Chelios shop

Chelios doing what he does best to hotel rooms

@dying alive, I still think you should send the casino pic, or would that be a little too much?

PO said...

this could shape up to be the best weekend ever or a really really shitty one... everyone say a prayer for me and for the boys in black and gold

Max Power said...

I should be. Instead I'm in corporate sales.

i.e. I produce and distribute Hungarian pornography.

snickerdoodles said...

Happy Gary Roberts Day, everyone! Drink Fiji water, punch an idiot in the face, and get ready to rumble!
The Battle for Stanley starts tomorrow! SCREAM!!!!!

beautiful post. That is so true about sports in general and the Cup in particular. Now I am a little misty eyed.

Go Pens!!!!!!

threshhold9k said...

@ Colin

I think i might know you. Did you play polo or know of a lot of those guys?

great_white_nwpa said... pusher by day, pens fan by night.....i smell a new batman movie

great_white_nwpa said...

bugsy is now down to 2.26%


i really want to see tk get a goal

threshhold9k said...

@ the seeker

Of course a red wing will win that poll at They split the Pens vote 4 ways to 2. I wonder if detroit will be able to keep him when his contract is up. He is making in 3.5 mil range right now. I'm guessing he'll want Hossa ish money. Kevin Lowe will probably offer him max salary over 8 years with a no trade clause.

threshhold9k said...

and by him I mean Zetterberg, who is leading the poll. Wow.

supermario66 said...


Hey, im a senior accounting major at W&J right now.

looking for some work over the summer tho...bah.

JYo said...

Raybin, that is an awesome giveaway. You'd have to look more at Altoona for that type of thing rather than the Buccos though. Minor league teams have the best giveaways in that regard. I'm pretty sure the Curve has won a few awards for having the best promotions in the country.

Max Power said...

No foodblog today?
How am I going to decide what to have for lunch?

Andrew S said...

Benkovitz Seafood might not be boycotting sales, but Wholey's dominates Detroiters.


TheNWChica said...

@max: I am getting off early today; so I might go have Indian buffet.

Max Power said...

Not a bad idea, but there's no safe Indian food in downtown.

TheNWChica said...

Hmmm....too bad. It's Friday, fish and chips is always good; or I don't know. Being out here, I just finished breakfast not too long ago. :)

JYo said...

@Max: How about Thai? I'm thinking either Thai or the fancy French restaurant for dinner tonight.

dying alive said...

@j.s. - Eh, it might be just a tad much. Not that *I* think so, but they might.

@lunchblog - Indian food...chicken tikka masala...yum.

The funniest thing about the Detroit paper posting that picture is that they actually credit it to Pensblog. Either someone is really dumb, or just doesn't give a damn about doing their job.

Stilly said...

@dying alive

I'm guessing it's about a 50/50 combination of Suck and Apathy.

TheNWChica said...

@jyo: that sounds even better than Indian. Some pad thai, chicken satay and black rice pudding=heaven!


Stilly said...

100 wewt

War Penguin said...

@Max: not even Sree's? There's also the ... I forget, but I think it's Taj Mahal not far from Fifth Avenue Place.

Max Power said...

@ jyo

The one in the south side Le P?

Max Power said...

@ war penguin

I only get Indian food from Oakland or Shady Side. I've tried other places and decided agianst for personal safety.

Thaiblog: Pad Thai does sound pretty good. Seasame Inn delivers. They have some amazing Pad Thai.

again cblog picked my lunch 4/5 days this week. I'm ashamed to say its easy to sway the mind of a fat guy when food is on the line.

Max Power said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
spanky said...

when GR gets elected as president, we should see if he will take Jesse White as his vice president.

TheNWChica said...

@max: I too enjoy the fine art of dining myself...body by butter! lol

Dr. Turkleton said...

Did anyone catch the Garymas Parade downtown???

It consisted of a Fiji Water Float sponsored by Whole Foods & pulled by Chuck Norris. You couldn't look directly AT it, as it was brighter than the Sun.

GREAT SCF-eve post, tPB staff...I can feel the anticipation of Game 1 in that read.

Can life get any better?

Home already after .5 day at work to kick off a 4.5-day weekend....
[Thank You ├╝ber-Banker's Hours! & my hoard of PTO time!!!]

Hope all those cbloggers that were 'consuming' last night, are having a good day today...

@letsgopsu: ♥-♦-♣-♠ [and no, we're not talkin' Lucky Charms™] maybe Full-Tilt is in my future plans...

[Hossa: the ORIGINAL Big Slick]

SydneyLouganis said...

The Detroit Free Press has a "Whack A Penguin" game on their website. Now all you Pens fans can whack yourselves off as much as you want!

Whack A Penguin>

TheNWChica said...

@Dr. Turk: I feel like I should go do my food shopping at WF today just because that's what Gary would do.

Dr. Turkleton said...

sorry, folks....I left the door open and a troll got in....

Maybe that's the editor of the DFP?

DeCeV said...

Crosby dives right into his mom's bed every night.

DeCeV said...

And I'm referring to Sydneylouganis' mom's bed of course

The Seeker said...

dr. turkleton said...

You couldn't look directly AT it, as it was brighter than the Sun.

Thanks...NOW you mention that?

Could a fellow cBlogger please hand me the leash to my seeing-eye dog please?

lis said...

my god, these trolls are boring...they certainly don't make em like they used to!!!


Dr. Turkleton said...



The Whole Foods here in Pittsburgh [Shadyside] is honoring GR's day by handing of a gift to anyone who's grocery bill total has a "10" or "42" in it....

they get a Recipe Card with all of Gary's favorite meals...

unfortunately, the card is BLANK as only Gary himself can read it.

FakeDannyStag said...

@ spanky

jesse white? what about jesco or elvis?

DeCeV said...

I scored a 322.9 in that whack a penguin game. The PG was going to make a Whack a Redwing game, but then they realized that no one is quite sure what a Redwing is.

SydneyLouganis said...

sydney louganis = crosby the diver

Maybe if you guys had a memory for sports that goes back more than the 3 months you've been on the Pens band wagon, you'd understand the reference. Jobbers...

dying alive said...

body by butter! lol

Does anyone else remember that old SNL skit where they were eating the Butter McCheese? IIRC it was a stick of butter wrapped in cheese, breaded and deep fried. Or in other words, the equivalent of my diet for the past week and a half or so.

That whack-a-penguin game is no more original now than it was when the Sens fans, the Rags fans, or the Flyers fans posted it.

xocharmedchildox said...

This troll is boring

TheNWChica said...

Maybe if you guys had a memory for sports that goes back more than the 3 months you've been on the Pens band wagon, you'd understand the reference.

Maybe if you were smart enough to think of something that hadn't been repeated 42 zillion times, we might have stopped to consider the amusement factor.


Dr. Turkleton said...

@the seeker

sorry brother, we need to get you to the House of Gary & let Him cure you of thine ills.

Anyways, you now have the vision-likeness of Kelly Sutherland: NHL Referee.

dying alive said...

I'm pretty sure we all got the reference, it's just that nobody thinks it's funny or clever.

dying alive said...

Seriously, can we get the Rangers trolls back? At least they put in an effort.

The Seeker said...

Whoa...what a lame-assed troll....

At least the Flyers trolls had more self-respect!

Even products of the Philly public schools knew Crosby's name is spelled SIDney and not Sydney for Gary's sake!

If one of the Pittsburgh newspapers did a Whack-a-Wing game on their website, I'd be totally embarrassed into leaving town immediately....that is like SOOOO 80's.

The Seeker said...


How lame is it to EXPAIN your own feeble attempts at a burn?

I think Saturday Night Live once did a skit about a comedian that stood up on stage and had to explain his jokes.

Dr. Turkleton said...


in the 9 posts after your one questioned what your name was or what it meant?

did you just figure it out for yourself & feel the need to share with us?

hurry along, go gather your things before the short bus leaves without you.

man, bring back r*g*b*

[Hossa: = BURIES IT!]

gpclay said...

Help! I'm going camping with the family in NE PA for the weekend! Any cbloggers in the Pottsville/St. Clair area who might know a good spot for Game 1????

Dr. Turkleton said...

how long until the troll flames himself out again???

I'd say...+/- 3 comments.

TheNWChica said...

@dying alive: I don't remember that one, but I love the taco town tote one.

and actually...the cheesy fried butter sounds really good. Wonder how I got this big butt. Mua ha ha

Dr. Turkleton said...

@decev said:

Whack a Redwing game, but then they realized that no one is quite sure what a Redwing is.

I tried my best to figure it out thru my profile pic interpretation....

but I also didn't know sydneylouganis = crosby the diver, either....


lauren_hbg said...

@ gpclay

I grew up like 20 minutes from Pottsville - however, I've never stepped foot into a bar up there.

From what I hear, the Brass Tap in downtown Pottsville isn't bad, there's also Maroons, the bar right next to (or maybe in?) the Yuengling brewery.

DeCeV said...


All that matters is that you purchase lots of Yuengling straight from the brewery.

The Seeker said...

I know what a Red Wing is!....I ate a Sprintster of them at Bike Night @ QS&L the other night.

Stoosh said...

Wow. Another troll stops by with a thinly-veiled reference to Sidney being a diver. Are you guys coming up with these on your own or are mommy and daddy helping, too? They were hysterical the first 100,000 times we heard them.


Use your imagination.

@ Tecmo - Alternate Cup-clinching song (if we get the chance)...

"Home Sweet Home" by the Crue.

That song is made for a championship celebration montage.

DeCeV said...

Oh I get it! Greg Louganis was an olympic diver. See I didn't get it before, but now it makes sense. Sidney (sp?) Crosby is a diver. Haha.

Sooska said...

is rgb reinventing himself? he was a victim of multiple personality/IPaddress disorder.

Sooska said...

@decev- a GAY Olympic diver -let's not forget that. how clevah. *fans self to keep from fainting*

SydneyLouganis said...

Detroit eats frog goalies for lunch. Your back end would not have made it out of training camp for any of the top four teams in the Western Conference. And your vaunted strength up the middle couldn't win a face off against Helen Keller.

If by some miracle (or little gary's intervention) the Pens do win, they'll celebrate it with juice boxes and sippy cups full of non fat soy milk.

For your sakes GR had better be the second coming because it will take divine intervention for the pens to win and this is their one and only shot thanks to rent-a-Hossa and Malkin leaving. Won't you guy just love seeing those two in blueshirts!

Dr. Turkleton said...

looks like reports linked over at A2Y are saying that Franzen is going to play Saturday...

I hope he has the same type of game that Timonen did for Game 5. [& maybe a RUUUTUUUU head-shot, just for good measure]

[Hossa: Finnish off that damn Swede!!]

TheNWChica said...

Hey trollboy...I'll put my American back-up goalie against your Czech has been whose groins are so tender they rival a good steak.

SydneyLouganis said...

Hey sooska, I did not state or imply anything about Crosby's or Louganis' sexual preference, so check you homophobia at the door.

lis said...


Call the nurse, Chelios just crapped in his depends again!

DeCeV said...

PGH = 8-1-1 against the better two west divisions this year. Rent-a-Hossa has been 110% worth it. Malkin is not leaving for at least six years. Next troll.

SydneyLouganis said...

TheNWChica, if the lunatic czech makes an appearance in this series, then grab your spot on the Centre Ave. sidewalk to watch the Pens victory parade.

I may be a huge Red Wings fan, but I ain't that myopic.

Sooska said...

self-hating trolls in action - you can always tell by the accusations they hurl and denial of self while never saying anything of substance regarding the hockey. Original thinking on the Crosby gay diving? think not there, slick. Thenators, Phlyers and Rags phans beat you to it. LOL

@ chica and dr turk-

Whings fan #1

TheNWChica said...

@sooska: Hee hee hee! I still love that picture.

Max Power said...

Hey troll stop boring us. The surprise of your novelty has run out. i.e.
A. I was surprised anyone in Detroit could afford a computer much less internet service
B. That someone in Detroit could actually read well enough to use a computer

As far as homophobia goes have you not met Charlie yet? I'm sorry that people have made fun of you all your life for just being the big fag that the good lord made you.

Dr. Turkleton said...


they may run out of tin-foil in HoMo Town !!!!!

Pensgirl said...


Can someone wake me when they come up with something more creative? Wings animal abuse was so out there and silly and fun that there's no way they could top it, but damn they could try.

Sooska said...

@ chica- for cblogs amusment.

It is truly amazing to me that we get at least one troll from each team and they spew the same nonsense thinking they are such creative geniuses. It has to a serious genetic disorder or they are the same person who simply has nothing better to do while waiting for As the World Turns to start at 2.

Sooska said...

talk about Dee-twaaa's animal abuse:

LINK to 31 Fan's Cat

Sooska said...

I can't type -that should be #1 not 31

DeCeV said...

Maybe rgb just became a Wings fan because the Flyers are out. He's also known as Delapina, and also he's that guy from the Ottawa sun whose name escapes me.

TheNWChica said...

Sooska! You watch ATWT too? Do you love Luke and Noah? If not we're still friends.

Pensgirl said...

Decev, it has to be. I really hope there aren't four separate people who are that stupid and lame.

In other news, 66 buries it.

JYo said...

@max: I live in Indiana (the state) so I was just suggesting themes for your lunch rather than specific locations.

SydneyLouganis said...

oooh max & sooska, such witty comebacks! Gee sooska, I thought you wanted to talk hockey.

Like I mentioned before, your centers are weak on face offs. You can't score if you ain't got the puck. Your back end is also untested against a skilled team like the wings that likes to roll four lines.

But hey, I did concede you guys win the battle of the back up goalies.

Sooska said...

@ chica- I pretty much quit watching around Xmas when they did nothing with that story line except put Luke in jeopardy (again) and then the whole stupid Jack, Katie & Carly (yawn) and with the whole Lily and Holden and now that Martha Byrne is gone..Katie and Brad married? yikes. They'd have to do something big to make me care again -bring back Jack and Carly ANDdo a real relationship with Luke and Noah. I'm a Y&R girl.

Sooska said...

@pensgirl- good find for omenblog

Sooska said...

this isn't on-demand cblogging.

TheNWChica said...

I think Luke and Noah are working on it...they just about did the deed the other day; except shenanigans with the sham wife and the creepy father interrupted that.

There;s something about Carly I don't like, but not sure what.

and I watch Y&R too...have for about 20 years.

DeCeV said...

Like I mentioned before, your centers are weak on face offs.
Our only real weakness. Hasn't actually hurt us at all yet. Plus Jordan Staal apparently gained the ability to win faceoffs recently.

You can't score if you ain't got the puck.
IS that how you talk in Detroit?

Your back end is also untested against a skilled team like the wings that likes to roll four lines.

Next Troll.

Pensgirl said...

Sooska, it was on Empty Netters, so credit Seth with the find, and me with the ability to click on the green words in his blog and the Pensblogese tie-in. :)

Stoosh said...

@ Colin/Threshold9K -

I had Dr. Dodge for a history class or two when I was at W&J. Talk about tough...I think the guy could probably break me in half with no problem.

Dr. Dodge = the Gary Roberts of W&J Professors

I was supposed to go to Russia during my junior year with Dr. Dodge and Dr. Scott (one of my favorite professors at W&J), but they cancelled the trip because the Russian mafia was a little too active at the time.

Dr. Cavoti and Dr. Keen (English) were terrific teachers as well. I loved Keen's English classes. I don't believe he's there anymore.

I was a psych major and I learned a hell of a lot from Cavoti, Dr. Wilson and Dr. Crabtree. Dr. Crabtree was my advisor and I actually wanted to go into clinical psych. I took an interest in neuropsych. as well thanks to Dr. Wilson in my soph. year, but I was already too far behind the pre-med curriculum to pursue that as a viable post-grad. option. In my junior year, I changed my mind entirely and decided I wanted to try law school (plus the GMAT beat the crap out of me, Roberts-style). Dr. Disarro and Dr. Misawa...awesome! How could you not love Buba?

Lived in Upperclass my freshman year (second floor triple on the end closest to the gym), pledged Delta Tau Delta and that's where I lived the rest of the time. This is when we had the bomb shelters for frat houses. Delt house party room also doubled as the birthplace of Party Room Hockey when I was there.

The campus has changed so much since I was there. The student center was only like two years old when I was there. All we had my freshman year was text-based internet; I used to read LCS Hockey when I had my workstudy job in the computer labs. I think we were the last college in America to get graphics-capable internet.

Myself and a bunch of friends also did radio shows when the radio "studio" was in that little hole in the wall in the basement of the Old Gym.

Stilly said...

I love unoriginal trolls.

ZOMG! Sid dives!!1!


Come back with something witty or go kill yourself.

JYo said...

Your back end would not have made it out of training camp

Thats what she said!

Your back end is also untested

Thats what she said!

So this guy brings up a gay diver and these two lines on this site and expects us to take him seriously? Just ask Charlie out and get it over with.

Stilly said...

Whoa. Paulinmiamimen has the first shot at Charlie. That is of course after he's done with Ottawa's roster.

racheleyos said...

i'm so glad I don't have a hangover today....

stupid trolls....go back to your home on whore island.

dying alive said...

@ stoosh - Home Sweet Home ftw. I love that song. They used it during the montage the night Mario announced the arena deal as well, so it's appropriate.

Detroit eats frog goalies for lunch.
Careful, dear, your redneck is showing.

Also, is Malkin leaving? I didn't get the memo.

great_white_nwpa said...

someone in detriot actually owns/operates a computer? i thought yinz just listened to recordings of different engines and fondled squid

dying alive said...

I was supposed to go to Russia during my junior year with Dr. Dodge and Dr. Scott (one of my favorite professors at W&J), but they cancelled the trip because the Russian mafia was a little too active at the time.

In Soviet Russia, trip cancels you?

kaitlin said...

I kind of miss phillyfreek93.

Stilly said...

@dying alive

Two stellar posts. However, You can't lump that xenophobe in with all rednecks. I mean I like hunting, fishing, and NASCAR as much as the next guy, and I'm of French descent so when someone calls someone (especially MAF. Nicest. Guy. Ever.) a frog.. they should probably be gutted and fed their own entrails.

Johnny Wrath said...

Lidstrom at media day (regarding countering the 1-2-2 trap);

"No D-to-D passes, get the puck in transition quicker, and get it behind their defence so they don't have time to set it up".

I'm paraphrasing- "I am instructing the team to Murphy Dump™ the puck to the weak side 100% of the time. If we don't, someone will Hossa Play© us, take it to the outside, and convert on The Whitney Play™".

Adds Osgood "It doesn't matter that my eyes aren't symmetrical. I mean, I changed my style like Mike Vernon did. I ♥ that man. Our forwards backcheck, so it'll look prettier when Gino goes linear to the net and picks The Malkin Spot™".

DeCeV said...

Yeah Malkin actually isn't signed through next season like you might believe, or like his contract might say. Troll news Inc. reports that he is talking with the Rangers as we speak.

Sooska said...

@ chica- I'd rather talk soaps than respond on demnd to the banalities that the troll brings. I think Maura West and Michael Park have great chemistry. I also think the Katie/Brad thing is good-they really clicked and he has improved since his DOOL days as Austin where he acted like a board amongst John Black's eyebrow raises. (I dont watch but I know that much)As afar as Y&R I love the storyline improvements the last couple of years -except for killing off John. *whispers* is he gone yet?

@ pensgirl- I missed that on EN- his post today was a good ne althogh I didn't get to read itall. The video to the new Stanley Cup song is good & I think the best of the lot this year.

I also forgot to mention that I lovedTiff's Mr Roberts, Sir. BTW HB to GR. I am sure he would not approve of random violence (particularly against women.) He is a man steeped in organized, purposeful punishment of sneaks, liars, morons and thugs. Otherwise, he is Knight in Shining Armor. He is the 24/7/365 through-sun-wind-rain- hail-snow-deliverer of the mail, the baby or the pain. He only brings the pain when he deems it deserved.

dying alive said...

@ stilly - Yeah, making fun of MAF just seems wrong somehow. He obviously has a sense of humor about it, though, as evidenced by the whole "spin like a ballerina" thing.

Stoosh said...

@ Sydneylouganis -

"Your back end would not have made it out of training camp for any of the top four teams in the Western Conference."

Big words coming from a fan of a Presidents' Cup winner who let the #8 seed hang around a lot longer than they should've, eh?

And for the record, the Pens played ten games against the Western Conference. Out of 20 available standings points in those 10 games, the Pens took 17. They had one regulation loss - a 3-2 loss at Colorado - and one overtime loss - a 2-1 shootout loss to San Jose.

And in only twice in those ten games did we give up three or more goals in a game. One was the 5-4 win over Anaheim and the other was the 3-2 loss at Colorado.

Looks like our defensemen handled themselves just fine against the Big, Bad Western Conference.

"Like I mentioned before, your centers are weak on face offs. You can't score if you ain't got the puck. Your back end is also untested against a skilled team like the wings that likes to roll four lines."

Faceoff could be an issue, but the Pens forwards backcheck as well as anyone the Wings have probably faced to this point, and the Pens have been very good at forcing turnovers in the neutral zones.

The Pens carry a good balance of speed and grit across all four lines. One thing that Jagr said after the Rags series was that he was surprised at how the Pens just kept coming after them line after line.

The Pens have won in the playoffs by wearing teams down with their speed and pressure. They attack in waves and eventually capitalize off of lines that get tired and can't keep up with them. The Wings SHOULD do a better job against this, but I'll be curious to see how a Drake-Draper-Maltby line or a Chelios-Lebda pairing handles the speed of the 3rd and 4th Penguin lines. more thing...

It's a little hypocritical of you to accuse Sooska of homophobia after already dropping a "frog" reference. If a homophobic comment is ignorant to you, than an ethnic slur like "frog" should be equally ignorant, yes?

Good thing you didn't say anything about Laraque.

DeCeV said...


stokes said...

Vinnie, i know you're reading this. You are THE MAN for putting those chops of Benz up. C'mon; i know you can't say it, but is he, or is he not, a joke?

No hangover here either Cblog. Must not have drank hard enough....

TheNWChica said...

@stoosh: Good thing you didn't say anything about Laraque....Or Max.

great_white_nwpa said...

stoosh is my new hero....even though he is feeding a troll

Brando said...

Live media day coverage on All Wings right now. The Pens should be coming on later.

Hopefully the NHL network guys still have energy to interview the Pens since they have been jerking off every player on DET.

Brando said...

Bob Errey is holding down the fort for us though.

great_white_nwpa said...

"Hopefully the NHL network guys still have energy to interview the Pens since they have been jerking off every player on DET."

Chelios take his Viagra today?

TheNWChica said... half day is over and I'm gonna blow this kool-aid stand.

See yinz a little later!

J.J. said...


Drake and Maltby aren't as slow as everybody thinks they are. Draper is still one of the better skaters on the ice for any team; the step that he seems to have lost is one that most players will never have. Their defensive positioning is second-to-none. That third line forwards pairing is going to be a very interesting battle.

The Penguins taking advantage of our third defensive pairing is a very viable concern for Red Wings fans, especially if you put them under pressure. They have been known to blindly throw passes up the boards to a covered forward to get the pressure off of themselves.

One thing I am curious to see is the Penguins forecheck and aggression. Much of what made the Wings successful to this point has been waiting for a player to take himself out of position by being too aggressive and capitalizing on that split-second mistake. I wonder (seriously) whether the Penguins speed will be able to neutralize enough of those.

Brando said...

GW - no but I think Chelios probably crapped his pants though.

I'm sure there is or will be an "oops I crapped my pants" (from SNL) photoshop out there.

DeCeV said...

Omg hockey discussion.

Hey troll, read the post by j.j. It's possible to be a fan of the other team and not be a slobbering idiot. Good fans of other teams make me happy. Too bad they are always the minority around here.

I've been posting way too much today I need to take a break from cblog.

Max Power said...

Old Glory Robot Insurance

Where will you be when the metal ones come for you?

Dubs said...


In the spirit of this joyous occasion, I'd like to quote from one of the greatest movies ever made -

Stevens - Your knee must be killin ya, Bellows. Get off the f'n ice you f@##it! You must be really hurt Bellows. Get off the f'n ice you P#$$Y. You lay on the ice like a broad, Bellows!

Trottier - You're the best, you're the f'n best Bellows. YOu're a f'n superstar. You f'n woman. You f'n T$t F'cker!

Who will be our new Bellows? Datsuckit? Zettergeek? May Gary be with you all!

John said...

I'm going to be in London for Games 6 and 7. Does anyone know where I can watch the game?

Stilly said...

London Ontario?

dying alive said...

@ max power - Old Glory Insurance is by far one of the best SNL skits of all time.

Don't cower under your afghan any longer!

Sooska said...

@ stoosh- I took no note of the homophobe reference because I was merely stating the obvious - that Greg Louganis, the gold medal winning diver, is gay. Choosing the screen name of a gay diver telegraphs both meaning & intent. It also signals homophobia when "gay" is used as a slur. As such it was not an original thought as it has been explored in its few manifestations by previous trolls. Sindey=cyndy=cindy=Syndy=diver=muff diver> gaydiver blah blah. Stating the fact of someone being gay is not homophobic. Homophobia is fear or loathing of gay people. Saying they are gay is expressing neither fear nor loathing. (And for clarification purposes for the less enlightened dare I say it - some of my best friends are gay and/or lesbian.) It makes me tired. I take no offense at anything a troll says that is directed at me personally. joke. (not you stoosh)

As for jj- you are a breath of fresh air in the otherwise Wide Weird World of Sports Trolls. welcome to cblog.

Stilly said...

I have louganistroll's homosexual tryst +/- at +15. There's seriously a lot of gay around when he's on the ice. What a joke.

Stilly said...

ok cblog, i'm out for the weekend. I'll be back online Monday for game two. Have a good memorial day and a happy Gary day.

29 hours. Do it.

J.J. said...

Thanks, I work very hard to keep the troll inside at bay. I'm mostly here to learn about what my Wings are up against. If I want to crack jokes at the expense of the Penguins, I have places like A2Y for that.

jefe said...

do it.


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