Monday, April 14, 2008

Walk Through The Valley Of Death

If the Pens were down 2-0, people would have been jumping off the Smithfield Bridge
over the course of this past weekend.

If you think this series is over, get a grip.
It doesn't get much bigger than tonight.


How you know it's the Stanley Cup playoffs:
  • You send us a cellphone pic of your bedroom before you have sex.
  • Someone cuts you off in traffic, and you look to see if there's a delayed penalty.
  • A co-worker jobs you, and you go home and put him in a photoshop.
  • You trip going up some steps, and a Capitals Message Board accuses you of diving.
  • You get pulled over by the cops, but for a split-second, you think the Pens just scored.
  • You think Dan Potash is gonna interview you during your lunch break.
  • You refuse to go to work unless everyone partakes in a white out.
  • You lay your life on the line and try to block traffic with just your body.
  • You struggle in a big meeting, and you expect someone to write a column about it.
  • You think Don Brennan from the Ottawa Sun is telling people to slash your grandma's ankles while she's walking to the fire department for a big game of BINGO.
  • You replace your morning coffee with orange Gatorade.
  • You pretend Earl Mann is narrating every move you make.

Are you confident going into a Game Three with a two-games-to-none lead?
Yeah, no problem with that.

Just remember, the last time the Pens were up 2-0 in a series was back in 2000-01.
The Pens won the first two on the road in Buffalo.
The Sabres came back and won three straight before the Pens took the last two.

But in 1999-2000, the Pens had a 2-0 lead on the Flyers.
Philly came back and won four straight.

And back in 1990-91, the Pens lost Games 1 and 2 on the road in Boston.
The Pens then won 4 straight on their way to a date with the North Stars.

In this year's playoffs, the other lopsided series is supposedly Montreal/Boston.
After two Montreal wins, Boston won Game 3 in OT on home ice.

:: Need motivation?

Guess what the Pens will be looking at when they walk out of the locker room tonight.
[Ottawa Sun]

Bring it


RobertsMania still running wild.

[Erica] submitted an entry on [ Urban Dictionary ]

[Douglas S.] was at the Pirates game on Sunday and sent a text message:

[-5.<span class=

And of course, let's not forgot those John Fedko pranks back in the summer that started it all.
5 minutes of greatness.

John Fedko took it like a man.
At the four-minute mark, "Tiffany" stuns the world.

[Andrew M]



-- Justin George --

Someone in Wisconsin likes Ovechkin:

[<span class=
-- No credit provided --


:: The Senators are in a big hole going into tonight's Game 3. [ Post-Gazette ]

"If there's anything I know, it is how well the Sens perform when they are in a hole."

:: [ Joke in Toronto ] provided detailed analysis of Ottawa getting hosed on calls in Game Two.

:: [ Black Aces ] was able to grab a shot of Anton Volchenkov's injury:

:: If you're new to world of NHL blogs, you must pay respect to [ Dr. James Mirtle ]
He directs you to an Ottawa Citizen article saying that Jason Spezza may be out for Game 3.


Job Don Brennan blog:

Now he has a blog? And a comments section? [Ottawa Joke]

Also from the world of Brennan, someone sent us this e-mail chain...

Don Brenna is indifferent to Gary Robert jokes.

Once again, his email:

Today we sent him this picture:

[Kyle J]


We all know the lore surrounding Frank Pietrangelo's save in 1991.

Evgeni Nabokov complemented that nicely in Game Two against Calgary.

Nolan got his revenge in game three. [ Battle Of Alberta ]

Sharks score three goals less than 4 minutes into the game.
Kipper is pulled, and Curtis Joseph stands on his head for the remainder.
Nolan wins it with under four minutes to play.


[Battle Of California] has a great screenshot of the hit Cory Sarich laid on Patrick Marleau.



On NBC Sunday, Mike Milbury mentioned that teams in the Ducks' current position (losing the first two games of the series at home) have gone on to win the series 1 out of 4 times. ( .250%)

[ ], thoughts?

Teams have gone on to win the series 16 of 49 times, a .246%.

If Milbury had that stat on the top of his head, he is on acid.
Just makes you wonder how much work goes on behind the scenes.


The Caps fans had a sea of red shirts in the crowd.

Too bad the only red they saw was the goal light flickering behind Huet. [Japers]

Give credit to the Flyers.
They played a big-time game. [700Level]

The story of this game was this:

Sean Avery turning his back to the play and getting right in Brodeur's face during a power play.

“It’s a 5-on-3 and I’m trying to get to the puck,” Brodeur said. “I’m trying to look around him. It was almost impossible because of the stick so close to my face. I’ve played for 15 years in this league; I’ve been watching games for 33 years. I had never seen that in my life. [Yahoo]

Brodeur did admit there is no rule against what Avery did.
But even players in Dek hockey wouldn't do that shit.
In a perfect world, Avery would have gotten hit in the back of the head.

Better yet: John Madden jobbed one past King Henrik in OT.

And Avery may have woken a sleeping giant in Marty Brodeur.
Like, do you seriously want to try and make a fool of Marty Brodeur?

Huge mistake.
Devils in seven.

Like we said up top, another example of someone winning a game three.
Boston claws back, Marc Savard heroblog.

This is what it is about


If you're not busy on April 26th,
some of our own in Cblog will be taking on the Pittsburgh Celebrity Hockey Team.

Where: Ice Castle in Mt. Lebanon
When: Saturday, April 26th -- 3:10 PM

They will be raising money for the Muscular Dystrophy Association.

For more info: [ Pittsburgh Pharaohs ]


We regret to inform Pensblog Nation that Big Bird, who we recently called up from the minors in a motivational-picture capacity, was arrested on possession-of-cocaine charges with intent to distribute while crossing the Canadian border late Sunday night.

He has been relieved of his duties.

Vun, Two, Three, Four, Five...
Five years in prison.


Photoshop blog:


We have been getting tons of great photoshops in.
Don't take it personally if yours doesn't get used right away.
You may even be warranted when thinking to yourself that the picture you sent in is way better than stuff we've posted.

Before the end of the series, we are going to post all of the ones we haven't used.

Some recent ones:

[Doug L]



[Annie S]

[Andy B]



And finally, we are guaranteeing something tonight:

Hossa will score.

If not, the long-rumored Amber Alert will be enacted.


zachary said...

Pens were also up two games to none against Buffalo in 2001 only to watch the Sabres win three straight and take a 3-2 series lead before Straka then Kasparaitis stunned them.

J.S. said...

I figured Brodeur was used to playing with a stick in his face, or is that only against the Senators?

Dammit, I'm gonna be late for work. Thanks guys.

threshhold9k said...

That is Wyoming, you might want to fix that rather quickly. I don't want to get jobbed by a Habs fan living in Canada calling us out on not knowing our own states. :)

Russell Lucas said...

Boy, I hope the Senators don't take that mural down. That's some great planning, there.

Pensblog Staff said...

mistakes galore in this post.
We wont blame the refs.
We just didn't perform.


The Big K said...

Go pens.

DeCeV said...

This may be just some normal jobber post, but it's one of the funniest things I've seen in recent memory. I knew Big Bird was a cancer in the locker room.

J.S. said...

Big Bird gets his cocaine from Bob Probert

DeCeV said...

Did you see the other Ranger's dude (Gomez? Too blurry) try and stop Avery? They got the goal, but at what cost. Game 4 = shutoutblog.

Christina said...

"You trip going up some steps, and a Capitals Message Board accuses you of diving."

HAH!!!! Absolute brilliance on that one.

Honestly. Who in the hell in the Ottawa organization thought it was a good idea to post that picture outside the Pens' locker room? (Or on second thought...I guess Charlie can be pretty persuasive!)

Bing and Hossa each with 1+2 know they'll both be fired up, with Bing remembering everything from the series last year, and Hoss looking to exorcise those ghosts of playoff past.


Steimes said...

Avery tries that on the flower, Talbot would put him in the hospital, 5 on 3 or not.

Game 3 tonight.

woooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo woo.

mmmk1989 said...

volchenkov looks fake in that picture, like he is made out of wax or something. maybe thats just me. i like the photoshop used in the banner.

watched the SJ at Calgary game last night, that was an intense game. Marleau got crushed twice and before the night was over had a cut above his eye and a bloody nose. Cujo was solid.

Dan said...

FYI..... They were also chanting scary gary at the bucs game saturday night. it brought tears to my eyes.......

Fleury29 said...

Big Bird gets his cocaine from "Neighbor" Bob McGrath. That guy is a joke.

And I thought yesterday's non-game day post was great, this one was even better. Thanks, guys.


Stoosh said...

"You think Don Brennan from the Ottawa Sun is telling people to slash your grandma's ankles while she's walking to the fire department for a big game of BINGO."

Well, actually...

At about 8:30 Friday night, my grandma fell and broke her leg after leaving a restaurant with my mom and dad up in Erie. I spent the better part of Saturday in Erie visiting after she recovered from surgery that morning. Two things...

1. To get to Ottawa from Pittsburgh, you have to drive to Erie. Or at the very least, you head up I-79 until you can pick up I-90 just south of Erie. Anyone happen to see if Don Brennan got an early start on his long, lonely drive back to Ottawa Friday night?

2. My grandma is 86 years old and she's pretty much your stereotypical 100% Polish grandma (laid back, jovial, etc). She was in and out of surgery to repair her leg in about an hour. She was supposed to be in recovery for at least a half-hour; she told the doctors after 20 minutes that she was OK to go back up to her room. Less than two hours after surgery, she said she wasn't really feeling any pain or discomfort and was only taking about half the prescribed dosage of pain medication. And she was sitting up in bed joking around about how it really didn't hurt when she fell, and that she was just really mad because she felt like a klutz. AND when Pens highlights from Friday night were broadcast on the local news in her hospital room, she pointed it out and said, "What a game, huh?"

My grandma very well might be the Gary Roberts of grandmas.

DeCeV said...

Commit to the grandma

Korn said...

One huge reason to eliminate the instigator penalty: Sean Avery.

That guy is like high school in summertime: no class.

sarah said...

I'm reading this at school and everyone keeps looking at me funny because i keep laughing at tpb.. nice post guys!

IceCold... said...

wow, stoosh

your grandma is the COOLEST!!!! i wanna be just like her



everyone bring a white something to wave at the arena. let's all pray to gary for no rain

Not BigRickPSU said...

I know this has been asked before, but can someone explain what the food/beverage situation is like at the arena when watching outside?

Open containers OK, or no? Can you bring a cooler with some food and drink? Are there any vendors selling anything? Anyone know about parking tonight? Will the lot be open? Cheap?

If anyone knows anything at all about the situation, I'd appreciate the info.

Go Pens.

J.S. said...

When I went on Friday, there was lots of canned beer outside. I brought a few bottles, but really didn't start drinking until dark since I was the only one with bottles.

No vendors (disappointed that I didn't even hear an imitation of Kenny).

Parking in the upper lot will run you $12, and there's always people tailgating, so there's no issue with cracking a beer or ten up there. Do not use the lower lot. It is reserved, and no matter how much talking you do, they won't allow you to park there. Learned that lesson a few years ago.

If I think of anything else, I'll be sure to post.

Nathan said...

Avery poked the bear. Big mistake.

And he could've gotten hit with a misconduct penalty if the ref had told him to knock it off. Too bad Don Van Massenhoven had his head buried too far up his ass to make the call.

And yes, in a perfect world, Avery would've taken a puck in the back of the head and been lost for the playoffs. Hope the Rangers enjoy paying him after he pisses someone off and they go Todd Bertuzzi on his ass.

queenofthesky82 said...

You know it's playoff hockey when everyone except for the priest is wearing pens jerseys in church, and the organist plays O Canada as the opening processional

Stoosh said...


According the good Doctor Mirtle, there's a lot more to this Avery situation in New Yawk than might be visible on the surface. Apparently, Avery continued to do this after Drury came over to him on the ice and told him to knock it off. And word on the street is that Shanahan and Renney were not exactly happy about it either.

I think what infuriates a lot of people about Avery is his reckless disregard for the game. A few years back when he was with the Kings, he boarded Kariya and then turtled when Hordichuk came after him and started beating his ass. There's this back-and-forth pissing contest he seems to have with Brodeur...I seem to remember him running Brodeur a number of times. He's picked fights with members of the media and also been openly critical of the league front offices.

There are times and places for some of this stuff, but I've always gotten this impression that Avery has thought he was bigger than his team and bigger than the game. He became this sort of quasi-celebrity when he was in LA thanks to his relationship with Elisha Cuthbert, and now that he's in New York, he's certainly relished the New York media making him an even larger-than-life figure in NHL circles.

It'll be interesting to see, though, if New York decides that they've had enough of his crap. That kind of stuff usually doesn't last long in a team-centric game like hockey.

Nathan said...

You do realize that Hossa has three points through the Pens' first two games, right? His assist on Malone's empty-netter was the smart play, since a couple of Ottawa players had his lane cut off, so he sent a perfect pass to Malone for the easy goal. Hossa's contributing, and fortunately, he's not the only guy the Pens are relying upon to score goals. It'd be nice if he could pot a goal or ten, but I wouldn't go putting up the Amber Alerts if he doesn't get one tonight.

homesprout said...

I hope the Pens get even more fired up after seeing that mural and unleash the mother of all beatdowns on the Sens at Scotiajoke tonight!

Go Pens!!

Pensgirl said...

Decev/Stoosh, it was indeed Drury who told Avery to knock it off (saw the number), and it appeared that a ref may have done so at around the same time. I don't think I've ever seen a situation where a teammate has so obviously interjected, but obviously Drury knew what Avery was risking there. I'm sure the locker room was interesting after they lost.

Evidently he will be penalized if he tries it again, but frankly the best punishment would be a series loss for his team.

mmmk1989 said...

joke brennan didnt get the Gary Roberts joke?

no surprise, he is stupid. BGL even told him so to his face.

Vanessa Day said...

Can't wait for tonight!

As with Nathan, I agree that Hossa will show some slick moves before too long.

He contributes to a lot of different things ( I mean, his puck handling is UNREAL!), and those other things make up far more than just scoring a goal or two to keep his stats up (and fans happy).

Seriously, I look at stick/puck handling, skating, and other "finesse" moves more than scoring goals. Anyone (besides maybe Brooks Orpik) can score goals regularly by utilizing fundamentals, luck, etc... but it takes real talent to skate and handle like Hossa does.

Sid and Geno are the same way, but Hossa gets all of the flack because he's new and has high expectations from fans.

I don't care who gets the goals as long as they keep winning!



Colin said...

Here is the question with Avery, do you take him out witha cheap shot and give him the sense that he won the battle or do you just ignore him?

Thankfully, if he did that to MAF, you got big USS in there to clear him out legally.

I love the Big Poppa Pump guarentee. I hope he scores five goals tonight.

j.s.22 said...

It seems like Avery has never scored a goal in his career. Every goal celebration seems like he has just scored his first ever NHL goal.

Also, what do you think the Ottawa faithful will be chanting tonight? Fleury, Crosby?

Sooska said...

@stoosh- get well to your grandma-PensGrandma HATES the Flyers-she's 84.

I understand Avery was warned by Van Massenhoven to knock it off or he'd receive a 10 min misconduct. The league is supposedly looking into it. joke.

You know it's the Stanley Cup playoffs when you find yourself talking like Pensblog in daily conversation: saying "Me=Stunned" to your boss when he gives you a deadline; calling people "jobbers" when they try to go through the 10 items or less line at Giant Eagle with 11 items; asking yourself WWGRD? for any decision you have to make (where to go for lunch, should you lie to your boyfriend, what car to buy, should you finally get around to doing your taxes); thinking up clever report titles at work and then adding "Pens win."

The Seeker said...

"You send us a cellphone pic of your bedroom before you have sex."

What a way to start off the post!!

I usually arrange for Jeff Jimmerson to sing the national anthem before sex....but to each his own!

roachai said...

anyone hear any recent news about if spezza will play of not??

J.S. said...

It's not just you.

I've also been caught calling people "jobbers", deserved or not (usually deserved).

canaanregulatesblog said...

i think alfy and spezza are both gonna play tonight.

roachai said...

both are going to play?? where did you see this?

The Seeker said...

@ decev

That's Shanahan talking to Avery in the video BUT he's only telling him to get his stick down and not to knock it off.

Rangers fans think that classless move was actually great.

I cant quite understand why crowds chant the goalie's name like in the 1st period in a close game. That only makes the goalie work harder. I think the chants should be reserved for when you know you've beaten him.

The Seeker said...

Thenatorth Line Changes:

"Even if Spezza plays, the lines are going to look different tonight. Dany Heatley has been moved to a line with Antoine Vermette in the middle and Cory Stillman on the right side, while Spezza will likely line up with Nick Foligno and Binghamton call-up Alexander Nikulin.

The Senators have to find a way for Heatley to start scoring or they don't stand a chance against the Penguins."

Sooska said...

Apparently both are playing.

Ottawa Sun

BlacknGold66 said...

-Commit to the Grandma indeed.

Send her our best Stoosh.

-Those "You know it's the playoffs" lines were great!

-Avery is a douche. So what else is knew?

-Amber Alert for Hossa? Naaaaah. He and Staal both aren't all over the stats sheet... but they way they are playing is fine with me.

-Big Bird busted?!

My Childhood = Stunned

Carroll said...

This could have changed everything:
Gerber gives Sens a scare. Goalie briefly hurt after taking shot to throat area.

Whistler said...

Ya had to go and mention the 2000 playoffs against the Flyers didn't you?!? I still have nightmares about that game.

Stoosh said...

@ Sooska -

Did Avery continue to do that AFTER Van Massenhoven told him not to? If so, the NHL better come down on DVM as well.

And on the WWGRD effect...

Making decisions for lunch, Subway or a salad? WWGRD? Salad. I got the salad.

Raybin said...

Commit to the stoosh indeed. I've never heard a better summation of Sean Avery anywhere.

I watched that game last night and couldn't believe it. Manny Legace acting as guest commentator on Versus basically laughed it off, but I kinda caught something in his manner that was saying "I'm saying this so I don't come off as attacking another player in a role as a guest."

I'll second the idea of "Why would you poke that bear?" It's the thing with Sid that other teams can't seem to he gets hooked, slashed and tripped enough times, he goes on the warpath.

Is it really smart to give extra motivation to the best goaltender ever to put on a mask? Then again, I don't think smarts is Avery's strong suit.

I've read people say "You'd hate Ruutu if he were on another team, he's just like Avery" That, my friends, is bull of the highest order. Ruutu is a team player who plays his role to perfect. Avery is a loudmouth braggart who makes a spectacle of himself off the ice as well as on.

Plus, he's a chickenshit little bastard. If the Rags come up against the Pens this series, you can bet the farm Lord Gary will try to teach him some manners...and I promise you Avery will run like FloJo to escape him. Ruutu is one who to my knowledge has never failed to man up and drop the gloves when it was time to do so.

I guess the moral of this story is: I hate Sean Avery.

I also was coming here to ask if anyone else watched the Sharks/Flames game. What a great story. Old Man Joseph comes into a seemingly lost situation and completely slams the door shut, locks it, swallows the key and stations rottweilers and mercenaries around the perimeter to guard it. And to think he was semi-retired....I repeat: what a great story.

As a final point, can I just say that the Hockey Night in Canada announcers put all NBC and Versus commentators to total shame?

PensBeerGeek said...

Yesterday, I was called by a volunteer for the Obama campaign. When asked who I was voting for in November, I told him the best man for the job was Gary Roberts.

At first, it was meant to be a job (for the record, the answer would have been the same regardless of the candidate), but I started thinking about it, and who would be better than Gary Roberts?

Gary Roberts for President '08!!!

J.S. said...

So Ms. Alfreddson is playing tonight?

Raybin said...


Has Spezza really been playing at all? He's mostly just been doing some stuff on the ice. :)

As for Hossa and the Amber Alert....I'm mixed. I've no problem with most everything he's been doing. He's been performing damn well in the peripheral stuff that doesn't show up on stat sheets, but is vital to winning the game.

On the other hand, he was also brought here to score goals, not assist in them, and he hasn't done that yet.

Still Milbury(?) saying the other week that Hossa has been a bust shows he's the same moron he was when he blew up first the Bruins and then the Islanders organizations.

JYo said...

@PensBeerGeek: I got a similar call, but my wits failed me. Kudos on the response.

@seeker: I'm fine with people chanting a goalie's name early in a game. If it has any effect on him at all, he is not concentrating fully on the game. I agree that it seems more appropriate to pile on when he is down, but if it only takes a chant from the crowd to throw him off his game, he prolly isn't that great anyway and you might as well try to get in his head early.

re: Legace's commentary

The HNIC guys calling the game were calling for Kipper to come back in the game after the Flames settled down and scored a goal to get back to 3-1. Legace said something to the effect of "If its not your night, its not your night." He said they should stick with CuJo for the game. Good call on his part.

IceCold... said...

round trip to ottawa tuesday through thursay. 600 bucks.

SRO playoff tickets. 50 bucks.

supporting your team on to victory in enemy territory. PRICELESS.

whose with me??
i can't go alone!!


J.S. said...

pensbeergeek, I've had that discussion with a few people.

Gary Roberts wasn't born in the U.S., but would you be the one to tell. Mr. Roberts that he can't be the President?

Me neither, therefore Gary has a better chance to win than "the big three".

Jonny V said...

Tom Kostopoulos has 2 goals more than Marion Hossa...Grammas are pound for pound the toughest people on the or not, a vote for Gary Roberts for president would do more for this country than those three jackasses combined would do...I wonder if Don Brennan has ever had somebody tell him how handsome he is...probably not...I would pay good money to watch Sean Avery fight a pack of pit bulls...

Sooska said...

@stoosh- yeah it appears that DVH warned him at least twice and maybe 3x. DVH was standing in the far corner along the boards and he skated over and you can actually hear him (someone? -it coincides with the body language so I think it was DVH)yell something. Then DVH skates behind the net and watches way too long before he skates in closer to the net, leans in, whispers in Sean's ear that there is new Ralph Lauren cashmere throw, at which point Drury skates over and says tells Avery where to buy the new throw. Avery ignores them both and continues his douchebaggery.

Sooska said...

OOPS not Ralph Lauren Calvin Klein. silly me. Charlie, I am SO sorry!

Laura said...

News of the day...

"The Ottawa Senators might have their captain back in the lineup for Game 3 on Monday night against Pittsburgh.

Senators head coach Bryan Murray indicated after the pre-game skate that Daniel Alfredsson's return was a possibility."

well, on the bright side... charlie will be excited...

The Seeker said...

@ jyo

I dunno?....that's what they were doing to Marty Brodeur yesterday and the Rangers lost.

I believe it only fires-up a good goalie when you do it while they're still in a close game.

BlacknGold66 said...

Well put Johnny V. Well put.
I still can't believe you have the Iceman as your pic. That shit wouldn't fly(pun) in the squadron I was in, but that's only because half of the pilots thought they were the real Iceman/Maverick. Tools. But solid none-the-less.

p.s. If we meet at a cblog convention... can I just call you "doc?"

IceCold: You pick me up in C-town on the way and pay for the whole thing and I'm in. :-) I keed I keed. (I wish)

Sooska: That interview makes me hate Avery that much more.

Sooska said...

@bng66- back at ya. Isn't he just such a...(fill in the blank)? I got nothin'

PensBeerGeek said...

jyo, to be fair, it wasn't totally impromptu. They'd called for me during the week while I was at my apartment, so I had the response ready in case they did.

j.s., it's a small concern that Gary Roberts isn't a native-born US citizen. However, Gary sneers at the rules of the NHL and standards of traditional civilized behavior, so why should he pay attention to a little thing like the US Constitution? :D

GwinTheEskimo said...

ON ft duquense and 9th by the goodyear tire place, near the convention center you can park for $5, then it's like a five-ten minute walk. can't tailgate there though.

Roberts/Lange '08

Jeff Spicoli said...

surfs up burgh... hahalright.

I got ONe question dudes. Are we smokin' blunts outside in front of the arena during the games? If so, whos got the buku dalores?

queenofthesky82 said...


I hope your grandma feels better, Hamet hospital in Erie is a terrific place: my grandma had some problems when she was up visiting me in school but they had her back on her feet in no time. Speaking of my grandma, you post reminded me of what mine does for pens playoff games. She goes out and buys a case of beer (cans only) in the closest colors to whatever team we're playing. During a penatly kill she chugs as fast as she can and crushes the can with her fist inorder to stymie the other team. With the support of the steel city grandma's who can stop the Pens?


coffeytalk said...

all i need is a tasty wave and a cool buzz and i'm fine.

Jonny V said...

sooska...HOMO-ERECTUS! no, that's not it...

BnG, it's my understanding that you don't ask anyone to call you that, but if they do it on their own volition, dasscool

skyqueen, you should enter your gram in some kind of Beerfest-esque tournament.

Colin said...

WWGRD? Test out Alfie's health with a big clean body check at center ice.

Sooska said...

@ jonny v- I always thought of Avery as a knuckledragger- nothing erectus, except his ego & that fat head which he admits is too big for his helmet. They should make him play with that lamp he loves so much, for Gary's sake. Does anyone know the Latin for "slimy worm whore?"

JYo said...

re: "that's what they were doing to Marty Brodeur yesterday and the Rangers lost."

Seeker, the problem here is not the timing, but the goalie they tried to do it to. The identity of the goalie is far more important than the timing of the chant IMO.

I contend that you could chant Biron's name in the first period after he stood on his head for 10 minutes to open the game and it could distract him. He may still play well or he may start to give up goals.

Brodeur, on the other hand, could give up 3 goals in the first 5 minutes (unlikey I know, but bear with me) and the crowd could get all over him. He is good enough to block all that crap out and shut a team down for the rest of the game.

The stud goalies will not be affected no matter when you get on them. To keep using Brodeur as an example, look at how he reacted to Avery's antics in the last game, which are far more distracting than any chant. As soon as they were over, he forgot about it and shut down the Rags. Lesser goalies could have been shaken up for a longer period of time and griped to the refs and got off their game. Those same goalies are the ones that will be affected by chants, whether its in the first period while standing on their head, or in the third after giving up 4 goals.

I agree with you that it seems less likely to work when the goalie is playing well, but I think the target of the chants is far more important.

BlacknGold66 said...

::DISCLAIMERBLOG:: I'm on percocet for the pain. My posts may be more ridiculous than usual since my brain isn't working. [insert "BNG's brain is never working" joke here]

My apologies cbloggers.

(I've actually gone as far as naming all of the fish on my screen-saver after Penguins. "Gill" for the biggest one was just too easy for so many reasons. I really need to get back to work!)

@queen: Your grandma is a beast!

Was anyone watching NHL Live just now? At the end of the show, the one guy went to turn his monitor off and his wallpaper was a huge headshot of Edzo. WTF? Charlieblog.

Johnny V: Then it's settled. Speaking of what you were saying (which is what my corpsman friends also said)..I actually knew a Corpsman that wouldn't answer to anything but "Doc." Who does that?!?! Needless to say he wasn't well recieved by the other guys and gals down in the ship's hospital.

I guess as long as you and I don't call each other "ship-mate" then we're good, haha!

Alright, time to go harass SFIT.

Stoosh said...

Why are you continuously late for this class, Mr. Spicoli?

Why do you shamelessly waste my time like this?

wilsmith said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Flyer Hater said...

If Danny Boy is playing tonight, Brooks Orpik needs to "Sarich" him in the first 5 minutes.

If Stoosh is the Lemieux of c-blog, Stoosh's grandma is Eddie Johnston.


wilsmith said...

What if a Pen had done that to Brodeur? I don't think it would cause the same uproar that it does when an opponent does it.

There's no rule against it.

Alfie back? Who cares. When the Pens see that mural, the heat is on.

Dr. Turkleton said...

hey...I play a doctor on cblog but I slept at a Holiday Inn Express™ last night, too....

it's fun when dealing with Dr.'s over the phone and you call them: Mr. Jobber & they correct you [smugly]: it's DOCTOR Jobber [hey, I didn't know!]...We'll DOCTOR Jobber, your mortgage rate just went up a quarter percent for being a douche, mmmm,k?

Words by Henrik Zetterberg in his NHL Stanley Cup™ commercial, 'Walkout':

You walk out 82 times during the regular season.
Except, the regular season's over.
Now, it's the Playoffs.
And on the road, in their arena,
you're not just up against 20, but 20,000.
No matter how loud it gets,
you keep on walking.
Cause every step gets you one step closer to the Cup™.

THAT'S how the Cup™ changes Everything.

What time is it?
Drop the puck, already !!!!!!!

[Hossa: Game 3 is time to torment your old buds up in Kanata]

The Seeker said...

@ jyo

Well in Game 2 when we scored goals 1, 2, & 3 the crowd chanted at Biron after each one.

He got better and harder to score on.

Just sayin'....

Flyer Hater said...

I've never rooted for someone to get hurt in any sport, but I'll make an exception for Sean Avery.

If Martin Brodeur would have given him a two-handed slash in the back of the head and ended his career, I would have laughed.

This douche and douchebaggery has no place in the game of hockey.

Brett said...

i've never hated on Avery

until now

what a dick

Stoosh said...

@ Queenofthesky82 -

Thanks for the wishes (and thanks to the comments to everyone else...they've been hysterical!).

On my list of the ten coolest people I've ever met, both of my grandparents would have to be on there. My grandfather passed away in September of 2003 (which seems like just yesterday), but he was basically a cross between John Wayne and Robert Deniro, if that's even possible.

homesprout said...

I noticed on the Sens board that "Senator Charlie" predicted a 5-1 Pens victory!! haha

odmE. said...

I love all this Grama talk. I, too, have a tuff grama...

The Tutu photoshop was life changing, and yes, Gary Roberts '08.

This was a quality post, guys. Top notch.

Work = it game time yet?

JYo said...

re: "Well in Game 2 when we scored goals 1, 2, & 3 the crowd chanted at Biron after each one.

He got better and harder to score on."

Are you talking about this series? If so, do you mean Gerber? Given his playoff experience, I don't expect him to be phased much by chanting after any number of goals.

The fact that the chanting started after the first goal and we still scored two more doesn't lend much weight to the theory that he got better and harder to score on does it? He has played out of his mind in both games this series and really is the only reason the games have been remotely close at any point after the first 5 minutes. Again, just sayin'...

blackngold66 said...


I don't know whether to be relieved or upset that you got rid of the killer ostrich.

It was starting to grow on me.

Carroll said...

Heading into enemy territory...hope I survive!
I'll be looking for Charlie.


Flyer Hater said...

NHL responds to Avery's douchebaggery

Best quote in the history of life in the story, "He's an idiot," Penguins forward Gary Roberts said.

Oh, Sean you have upset his holiness.

M. Vanderlasser said...

Whistler, what time do we pray tonight?

I'm going to be away from the computer sporadically and don't want to miss it.

My grandmother is pretty tough, too - 94 years old, still lives at home, mows her own grass, etc. but I don't think I'd want her to tangle queenofthesky82's g-ma. Yikes.

She could take Avery, though. No worries.

Gary Roberts > (Dirty Harry/High Plains Drifter-era) Clint Eastwood

3 hours.

Pensgirl said...

Legalblog: the way that the NHL amended the rule makes it clear that Avery's behavior was never legal, even though he wasn't called on it. Creating a new rule/infraction would have meant it was legal when he did it. Obviously that makes no real difference now, but it was important enough to the league to make the distinction.

It's just a guess, but since there's no retroactive value to that distinction, I think what they're really saying is "if he pulls anything else, nail him."

Nathan said...

"'That's not something that anyone writing the rule book has anticipated, and I don't think that we view that as part of our game,' said Carolina Hurricanes general manager Jim Rutherford, an NHL goalie for 13 seasons."

Guess the NHL never figured they'd get a dickhead like Avery within their ranks. If a baseball player did something like that from second base, he'd be taking an early shower for pulling that kind of shit.

Why couldn't one of Avery's hookers have stabbed him and stolen his wallet?

Sooska said...

Avery is prickling with all the attention this is getting him. Since self-promotion is his prime motivation we can only hope someone will fulfill his desires and make him editor of a fashion magazine. Marty Brodeur will bankroll the project.

Pensgirl said...

Nathan, I see the whole thing as being akin to hair dryer manufacturers never thinking that some moron might use one while in the bathtub. Sean Avery: Mr. Dumbass Warning Label!

The Seeker said...

@ jyo

"Are you talking about this series? If so, do you mean Gerber?"

Yeah....sheesh. I had been arguing with a Cryer fan on YouTube just before I typed that.

Actually he did get better. We were able to score 3, but then couldn't score again until the very end (Thank Gary) on a fluke wraparound.

I still think it only makes them play better just like cheap shotting Crosby makes him better.

Hip said...

Hossa can go pound pud in the corner for all I care as long as we keep winning. Tonight will be a battle. This is the game for MAF to prove himself IMO.

Stoosh - you have one badass gma. Best to her.

Who wants to volunteer to txt me score updates? My cousin has some bullshit awards ceremony or something tonight.

wilsmith said...

So he can still do it, as long as he doesn't face the goalie, right?

Hip said...

PS: @BNG66 - we named our fish after Pens. Actually we just have three and keep the names going - we're on Mario the 15th, Ronnie the 21st and Larry the 18th (I think).

anonBILL said...

The day started off with the computer at my job not working properly and me having to listen to the only radio station that would come in and it was playing The Jim Rome Show. So now I am on suicide watch.

Thank Gary there is a game tonight.


Raybin said...

@flyer hater

I believed that you were quoting Roberts correctly, but I had to go read the article myself just to see it there in all its glory

Roberts just went even farther up in my estimation and I didn't think it was possible to go any higher.

Avery is a pimple on the ass of humanity.

Kudos to the NHL for acting quickly and decisively...if this were the NFL, they'd have to old 8 months of meetings, then refer it to a committee and hold meetings and hearings for another 16 years before making a recommendation about a possible rule change at some unspecified point in the future.

RobbieBrown44 said...

The Lance Bass/Tutu photoshop is life altering.

Hossa (will show up tonight)

Go Pens!

blackngold66 said...

Check your email Hip.

Pensgirl said...

Wil, I'd say "no." The amendment merely uses Avery's behavior as an example of something that is to be whistled. That's essentially putting the world on notice that any behavior smelling vaguely of the example is also prohibited.

I would expect, based on how quickly the NHL acted on this, that anyone who attempts any future tomfoolery would not only get thrown in the box but would also be on the business end of at least a fine.

And while I agree that Avery's antics have no place in hockey, I'm more than a little disturbed that this evoked swift action in a way that head shots (and other things that actually threaten the health of the players) have not.

coffeytalk said...

I'm a little angry at myself for not just jumping in the car and taking the 8 hours it takes to get to Ottawa last night.

I'm wondering how easy it would be to find a way out of work Wednesday and most of Thursday...

DeCeV said...

Anyone check out the front page of the NHL section of ESPN? pensoverloadblog

Hip said...

BNG = Jesus.

I seriously love you guys.

michelle said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
michelle said...

You guys see the pens songs on EN??

I was also told to tell everyone from my 83 year old grandfather who was in the navy in WW2 that he thinks he saw the USS Hal Gill and that it was backed up on shore by Gary Roberts' guns. He's pretty sure Gary Roberts was there.
There you have it.
Or, he watches Pens games while sleeping and is way too old to know the difference.


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