Thursday, March 13, 2008

In Short. PENS WIN.

7 - 3


Injuries are so bad right now,
GM Ray Shero got a high stick to the face in a pickup game before the Pens game.

But you know what...

Shero got stitched up, put on a $4,000 dollar suit...

And he made it through the game.

That's what we're all about right now.

The "battling through injures" thing has become a broken record,
but it must always be recognized.

The Pens generated their biggest offensive output of the season
against a team playing for their playoff lives.

If a lot of us hadn't witnessed Buffalo fans firsthand back on January 1,
you'd almost feel bad for the Sabres.

But we don't feel bad for anyone.

2005-06 season

Eat it.



[Double B]

[Doube R]-------------------------[Matt J]

[Unknown]------------------------------------[Captain Dummy]

[demondg1]-------------------------------------[Dave P.]




Well, son of a bitch.

On a night when the Haitian had a chance of seeing time on the fourth line, Tyler Kennedy scores his first goal since 1940 to make it 1-0 right out of the gate.

do it

JFK smoked Pittsburgh's own Mike Weber.
Thankfully we were sent his fourth-grade yearbook picture:

[Thanks to Nick Z for the pic]

Mike must have skipped on the day they taught how not to get burned on a breakaway.

The Pens had to sell their condo on Cloud Nine when Connor James was sent to the box for tripping.
It turned out the Pens were more more dangerous shorthanded than the Sabres were on the PP.

After the James penalty was killed, Patrick Kaleta, the penultimate joke, carried the puck into the Pens zone.
But yet, he is a joke.
Conks with the easy save.


Cotton Candy Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeere

[Double R]


The rest of the first consisted of jobbing, 24/7.

Pascal Dupius was everywhere.
Just a solid player.

Power plays, power plays, power plays.
Someone out there on Planet Earth was having sex during that first period, while a lot of us were watching a boring segment of an ice-hockey game.

If you accomplished both, we'll give you 5 bucks.



The second period started with the Ty Conklin Show making the saves he had to.

What happened next is what changes seasons.
It's what instills confidence and what demoralizes brains.

Georges Laraque pulls a driveby elbowing on Nathan Paetsch.

Thank God that guy got up.

We don't know what year exactly that the Pens switched the TV cameras from the bench side to the penalty-box side, but highlights of Game 7 against the Islanders confirm that the elbow didn't occur in Kevin Stevens Corner.

A much-deserved 5-minute penalty to Laraque opened the doors for Buffalo.
Too bad they were doors to an outhouse.

The Buffalo Sabres are 4 points out of the playoffs.
They are playing with desperation every game.

They're a solid team, but during the early parts of that major penalty, they couldn't even set up shop in the Pens zone.

And after half of the penalty was killed, Evgeni Malkin dropped acid on the bench and probably blacked out.

He probably doesn't even remember what he did on that PK.
He was stealing the puck, setting up a futile one-timer, stealing the puck again, getting tripped, got a drink at McGrogan's TapRoom, stealing it again, went to a Sheetz and made an MTO for someone, came back and got a shot off.

For whatever reason, the ice opened up every time a Penguin touched it.
Those 5 minutes pretty much ended Buffalo's season, even though it was still 1-0.

Just an unreal shorthanded effort...

The most inspiring shorthanded performance since the drummer from Def Leppard.

A rousing cheer from the Mellon faithful after the PK was answered by the Pens when Jeff Taffe jobs one in. 2-0.

After Conklin further displayed that he was in the zone, he gets tripped up, and the Pens head onto the power play.

Gonch from way downtown.





If there was anything to learn from the Maple Leafs comeback against Philly, it's that a 3-0 deficit in the third means nothing.

The Sabres didn't get the memo, as some jobber Pratt nails Staal from behind into the boards.
A Whatev PP on the way.

And it was just bad news for them.
Ryan Malone makes an unreal play to pick the pocket of a Sabre, and then Petr Sykora scores probably the easiest goal of his life.
The look on his face is great as Malone greets him.


Cotton candy Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee



The Pens may have eased up a little after that 4th goal, and it was probably the reason Burn in Jochen Hecht was able to put a hot potato home. 4-1.

Hecht karmalized himself when he went to the box soon after.
But it was a blessing in disguise, since the Sabres scored a HUGE shorty to make it 4-2.

But the Sabres couldn't smell blood.
They smelled a perfume of dominance.

The Pens kept pressuring and eventually got awarded with another PP when Staal got hooked by Tallinder.

And again, the Sabres pay.
Seeing the replay from behind Sydor at full speed, it was just an unreal deflection.
Malkin gets it in.


Somebody over at LGP loved the next goal.
Chris Minard makes the most of his 11 seconds of ice time to get a big goal that he'll get to talk about next week when he's back in WB/S. But still, it's his first NHL goal.


Man, this was how the '80s were.
Buffalo's Thomas Vanek came back and scored.


Oh wait. That wasn't Thomas Vanek. Our bad.
You'd just think someone who is making $7mill a year would actually show up.


The weirdest part was that there was still 9:00 left in the game.

And then the Refs started fixing the game.
Some crap goes down in front.
Conk keeps the puck out. The Sabres players raise their arms.
No dice.
Play goes on, but after an offsides we go to the war room.

[Chris R.]

The replay was inconclusive.
If the game was in Buffalo, the goal judge turns the light on, and it's a goal.
But too bad. It's not.

And as the universe goes, the Penguins go down 25 seconds after the goal is waved off, and Letang puts one home on the rush. 43-9.

P.S. -- We may owe this guy 5 bucks

There was still 7:00 left.

The Sabres score an obvious goal, but it gets waved off due to the quickest whistle in hockey history.

Lindy Ruff was speechless.
The Refs give a limited explanation.
If we ran Sabresblog, we'd be up in arms.

Hopefully it comes out that some NHL ref has a gambling problem.
They trace it back to this game and realize he took the Pens at -1 1/2.

The annoying "LET'S GO BUFFALO" chant we heard a million times at the Winter Classic were thrown back in Buffalo's mouth down the homestretch when a "GO HOME BUFFALO" chant tried valiantly to get going.

The Pens put in Natrone Means to run out the clock.

Conklin owns Buffalo.


  • Dupuis: 2A
  • Gonch: 1G, 1 A
  • Kennedy: 1G, 2A
  • Letang: 1G, 1 A
  • Sykora: 1G, 1A
  • Sydor: 2A
  • Malkin: 1 G ( Snore )
  • Conkblock: 29/32
  • Jordan Staal will score the biggest goal of the Pens season.
  • Chris Minard won't.
  • Jeff Taffe = Vital Cog
  • Daryl Sydor. All he does is get the puck on net.
  • Did the Pens get lazy late? If so, they get a pass.
  • The USS Hal Gill = Solid while almost scoring shorthanded.



iacas said...

First comment!? Awesome game. Great offensive burst without all the weapons. YAY!

Funny to see those two goals disallowed on Buffalo. Suck it!

j.s.22 said...

The "Go Home Buffalo" chant started when the Pens made it 4-0 (with 16:00 left in the game). Buffalo then scores and puts a silence on the crowd.

Penguins make it 5-2 and the chant starts again, but dies a little.

6-2 and once again, the chant starts but to be silenced by a goal to make it 6-3.

I just wonder why not start the chant with like 1:30 left in the game instead of like 16:30 left in the third?

Jebus the XIV said...

I had a feeling tonight would have been a 4-2 or 5-2 Pens victory, but... 7-3? Holy Shit!

Bloodhoundgangblog: The drummer from Def Leppard only got one arm! (Sorry. Couldn't help myself)

Bring on the Flying Douchebags. Sunday can't come soon enough. Lets Go Pens!

nu said...

We were chanting "Go Home, Buffalo" back and forth last year, too.

Good games. Good times. Good memories.

The Conkglove was probably a goal. And I wish he hadn't let in at least one of the ones that counted and done his numbers a favor. But whatevs. We'll take it!

Did anyone catch that crazy stat they flashed where they said something like Miller and Conk are the #1 and #2 all-time American goalies by win percentage? Is that even possible??

dappie99 said...

crazy game but def nice to see the offense shift up a gear when the pregame lineup would have everyone thinking a tighter game than this. impressive and scary all at the same time. Scary in the sense that we've yet to see what the Pens will do when a full roster is actually in place!

Hossa+Crosby sunday = bonerblog*

*don't get overly excited charlie

onesizedrummer said...

7 goals without your best player playing and with only 1 goal from your second best player is nice to see. My question is this, with Sid, Hossa, and Malkin how much cotten candy will the cotten candy guy sell in the 2nd period of a natioal televised game?

Sorry heard another meaningless stat going into last nights which the Pens were something like 1-7 in Wednesday night games.


pensblog jeff said...

the magic number is 10? holy shit!

sfc72388 said...

solid win.

what are some of the other wiki pages that pensblog faithful have altered??

Fred Jones said...

Cotton Candy guy could be heard on Tv twice last night! Once really clear during the injury time out and once later when it was quiet and Steigy actually stopped flapping his gums.

PensblogCharlie said...

You owe me 5 bucks.

The Big K said...

injuries sminjuries. they don't matter to this team anymore. l g p!

M. Vanderlasser said...

Did I hear correctly that Eaton may be back in time for the playoffs?


P.S. I have a man-crush on P. DuPuis.

Hip said...

@charlie - lol

I'm pretty much obsessed with Malkin at this point. That picture of him after his goal is just sick. He's one bad ass motherfucker. I would NOT want to mess with his shit come playoffs time.

Raybin said...

I may be alone in this and letting my platonic love for Conklin get in the way, but I say the "was it in or wasn't" shot was probably not a goal. Seen in slow motion, it looked like it, but the one time FSN played it at semi-normal speed, it looked like Conks batted it out right quick.

That being said, Buffalo probably got jobbed on the whistle goal. That was a little ridiculous. But: HAHA!

went to a Sheetz and made an MTO for someone, came back and got a shot off.

This is the kind of line that changes lives and ends famine in third world countrires.

I've been ragging on Sydor a lot lately, so credit where it's due: he played great tonight.

Oh, and finally a riddle: What has seven arms and sucks?


J.S. said...

That joke is so wrong.

(Actually, it's "What has 9 arms and sucks?")

Raybin said...

Is it 9 arms and sucks? Damn.

My friend is in for an asskicking for telling me the joke wrong! :)

dying alive said...

Awesome game last night. That PK on Laraque's major might have been the best five minutes of the Pens' season so far. Just amazing.

True to tradition, I ended up sitting next to Buffalo fans. I loathe Sabres fans because they always, always act like total classless assholes. They make Flyers and Leafs fans look well behaved by comparison. To his credit, the guy next to me didn't really say much of anything, even when he started getting jobbed by the 12 year old in front of him. I guess that's what happens when your team takes a collective dump from one season to the next. HA HA.

Ryan said...

"karmalized" and a Natrone Means reference in the same post.

This blog is unreal.

Whistler said...

I don't care if they gave 17 arms and the occasional third nipple here and there; Def Leppard still sucks!!

MTO reference....

How long have you been waiting to use that line. You guys are definately rockin' out with your conks out!! This is why I love thepensblog and my gf, who is a huuuge Devils fan, finds it annoying.

Keep it up boys!!

Settle down Charlie!

Jeff said...

Any chance we can get Bing to sit out the Flyers game? Just kidding... I think.

Malkin was a beast. Not in a goals and assists kind of way. But in a I'm going to dominate your life kind of way.

Stoosh said...

Thoughts, dudes...

1. That recap was about as solid as solid gets. Between Malkin at Sheetz, the Def Leppard shorthanded reference (monitor, meet coffee), and the "perfume of dominance" one can compete with this kind of stuff.

2. Where was Kaleta last night? Four minutes of ice time? Seven shifts? I noticed Paetsch only took seven shifts, but at least he had the excuse of accidentally getting knocked stupid by Laraque.

3. Love the fact that in the Toronto War Room, they're watching Lloyd McClendon walking off the field with first base.

4. For the most part, Pascal Dupuis and Hal Gill have been excellent acquisitions. I remember saying that it would be difficult to replace Army because he was very good at his role. So far, Dupuis has been faster, more skilled and more physical in that role than Army was.

5. Not to revisit the whole Armstrong thing, but when we were watching the game last night, I finally got to see the reconfigured A&L Motor Cars commercial. For those who don't know, in lieu of Army's trade to Atlanta, they've stopped running the old commercial. They're now using a series of outtakes featuring Armstrong with a voiceover thanking him and wishing him luck in Atlanta.

It's a very nice commercial, but it definitely got me thinking last night. Has any athlete who was clearly a role player on his respective Pittsburgh team EVER generated as much love as Armstrong? I'm trying to think back and I can't come up with anyone.

bsmithbpp4l said...

cotton candy guy is the gary roberts of the service industry.

lis said...


that some great thirdary scoring!!!!!!!

Pensgirl said...

Hip - Seeing this (after the sick on-his-knees pass to Sykora in the 5-0 Devils game) made me declare Geno our best goal-celebrator. Sid's exuberance is contagious, and I love Staal's reminiscent-of-Artie (and too-little-seen this year) chest-puffed-out "wooooo!," but Geno's got a swagger you just can't ignore. He's the shit, and he totally knows it. Gotta love it.

First time I've gotten to see an FSNP broadcast since A&L updated the commercial. Solid move by them.

Stoosh - Bourquey (and his then-wife "Big Red") and Robbie Brown both had decent followings, but I don't think it quite reached Army levels. Bourque probably comes closest with his "Let's take this down on the river and party all summer!"

Lady Jaye said...

I have nothing more to add that folks haven't said. Solid recap. Fun game. Sunday can't arrive soon enough!

Nathan said...

It's been a while since the Pens won a blowout. They're easy on the heart.

I called this game for the Pens after Sykora's PPG to open the third, but in retrospect, it was really over on Taffe's 4-on-4 goal at the end of Laraque's penalty in the second.

Anyone know when Mike Richards is expected back for the Flyers? And maybe if Laraque isn't suspended, he can kill Umberger early on Sunday.

Washington, Florida, and Toronto are now all one point behind Buffalo. Our respective magic numbers with each of those teams are 9, 7, and 7 (the Pens took the goal-differential tiebreaker in a 2-2 season series with Toronto where all four games were decided in regulation; we won the season series with Washington and Florida). Buffalo plays Toronto on Saturday night; the Sabres play twice before the Pens' next game. Washington, Florida, and Toronto only play once between now and Sunday. Buffalo's about to become the third team in the expansion era to finish with the league's best record then miss the playoffs the next season -- Montreal did it in 1969-70, and the Rangers did it in 1992-93. Have I ever mentioned that I love Great way to waste time at work.

FijiH2O said...

My bad...I had the March 22 NJ game marked incorrectly in my calendar as being this Sat March 15!

Off topic:
Is anyone going to the Skates & Plates dinner? Or, has anyone ever gone?

Nicholas said...

I sent the 'unknowns' from my cell; Just plain easier than having to send them to myself first.

I realized what I REALLY hate about being there is they NEVER show replays that may 'incite' someone. They never showed what Laraque did, and my whole section was left wondering if it was brutal or not. They never showed the reviewed-goal until AFTER the announcement. There was another moment I can't quite remember...

Is there some rule about this? Is this only pittsburgh? Just annoying that they won't show this stuff. Who cares if the crowd gets to boo refs?

Also Malkin on that shorty was INTENSE. There needs to be MVP Chants for that man ASAP

Lady Jaye said...

Kennedy is the #3 star from last nights games. Good for him.

Sweetcheesus! said...

thank you gentleman for another over the top recap. i enjoy watching the games but afterwards i really cant wait to read the recap, especially today. its the only reason i came to work. haha.

"And after half of the penalty was killed, Evgeni Malkin dropped acid on the bench and probably blacked out.

He probably doesn't even remember what he did on that PK.
He was stealing the puck, setting up a futile one-timer, stealing the puck again, getting tripped, got a drink at McGrogan's TapRoom, stealing it again, went to a Sheetz and made an MTO for someone, came back and got a shot off."

words and thoughts to live by. priceless. great game. great post.

go pens! WWGRD!

Pensgirl said...

I remember reading earlier this year that, despite being Quebecois, Letang's favorite childhood team was not the Canadiens. At the time, though, he wouldn't say who was.

He finally came clean.

Raybin said...

cotton candy guy is the gary roberts of the service industry.

Truer words were never spoken.

I was at a Pirate game last year and behind me was a group of college students doing the "attend a baseball game at every stadium during one season" thing.

Cotton candy guy comes rolling by selling lemonade. The one kid recorded him on his cell phone to use as a ringtone.

Mike Costa said...

Somehow Someway, Boomshakalaka Made It Into The React. Amazing.

wilsmith said...

He's heating up!

BlacknGold66 said...

...and at just the right time!

Dr. Turkleton said...


Gary Rissling
Pittsburgh Penguins [1980-85]
jersey #'s: 10/15/20/23
[thank you, Pens Media Guide]
I was a young teen at this time watching bad [putting it mildly] hockey with a lot of 'Slap Shot' talent skating around...I just remember him being an animal on the ice & very down to earth off of it

IMO, he was the original Army before todays Army became Army

[Hossa 03.16.08 {unless his agent says otherwise}]

FakeDannyStag said...

hey Bob, how was that steak? look kind of raw from the studio i was laying down some tracks in. shouldn't be laughing at shero like that. reminds me of the time Lenny Wolf hit me in the face with his microphone stand.

don't be makin' fun of the one armed wonder either. had the best damn snare foot this side of china.

acid! hell yeah Malkin ate some. so did Conks. too bad he started to come down in the 3rd. next time 3 hits. ok Conks? instant shutout.

hey Steigy, please call mom. she's pissed that i want to do a tour with Bang Tango. please help me out. i need the money.


Hip said...

@Pensgirl. I have like ten solid Malkin celebrations circulating as my background right now. It took him a bit of time to get into his groove here in the states (see Malkinface in the link below) but now you can just read him. He doesn't doubt for a second that he will fuck you up front, back, left, right and sideways for good measure. His expressions literally give me chills.

I went there to find the Malkinface thing (which always cracked me up but made me sad too) and there she's got Geno up on the front page. Friend of a friend's blog.

One day I'll learn how to embed links.

dying alive said...

nicholas - I think it's a league rule that they don't want penalties and stuff to be re-shown on the jumbotron. I just think that some arenas follow the rule and some don't.

Dr. Turkleton said...

vinnie at 105.9 the X did the game last night....

@vinnie, if yer reading....I hope that tv-timeout interview you did with The Penguin Lady & Mom [they sit near the Pens runway in the corner & they have an inflatable 3' Penguin] didn't get youtubed & into the hands of anyone that puts down Pittsburgh & or it's citizens...cause, although they both came across as very nice people & extremely devout Pens fans...thats what the rest of the country [esp. those who live in the old Patrick Division cities or districts] think of us. But, I guess in the overall scope of things, that's what makes Pittsburgh, Pittsburgh, unlike any other place on earth [which is a GOOD thing, I think]

Then, during another tv-timeout you interview Foam-Finger-Guy...who seemed quite shy & quiet as a mouse...he's starting to become a legend in these parts:

•usually on the jumbrotron dancing
•on the cover of last night iceTIME
•the vinnie interview

he's hit the Pittsburgh celeb trifecta !!!

I didn't read pre-game blog if anyone said this but,' it was nice that 'Pittsburgh Own: Ryan Malone' addressed the fans before the anthem to acknowledge their support & ended his 'speech' with a 'LET'S DO THIS !!!!'...a very Roberts-esque moment, IMO & should've warranted a new 3-year contract by the 1st intermission

[Hossa: Big Poppa Pump]

karri said...

Hey guys...quick question...

Will I still get the five bucks, even if it was DVR'ed? I mean, it was live for me since I was working at the time of the game...

...and I never know the score until I watch it...always better when they do score... about this.

Oh, and, as always, love the recap!

Congrats again on being #1.

wilsmith said...

I'm disappointed.

No one's going to follow up those NBA Jam references?

JYo said...

...he's on fire!!!

BlacknGold66 said...


PensKitty said...

raybin- "Cotton candy guy comes rolling by selling lemonade. The one kid recorded him on his cell phone to use as a ringtone."

I just said to my husband last night that we need to get cotton candy guy recorded and make it into a ringtone.

anyone have the link to that site to make ringtones? someone posted it here once with Errey talking about gary Roberts drinking the water.

I wont be at the game sunday, but i'm gonna try to record him thursday. If he was smart he'd have himself trademarked.

bsmithbpp4l said...

how about some cc guy shirts for storeblog?

Stoosh said...

Wilsmith - What was even better than NBA Jam was NFL Blitz, which had the same guy doing the voiceover. Occassionally after a big hit, you'd hear him yell out "HOLY F**KING SH*T". It was bleeped in appropriate places, of course, but the effect was not really compromised.

bsmithbpp4l said...


BlacknGold66 said...


I've been all over that site for the past few days after SnoopyJode made a "Did he shoot that in his own net?! He shot that in his own net!" ringtone.


azrael882 said...

@ stoosh & dr. turkleton

I was only born in '82, so I don't remember Gary Rissling. I do know we've been through some rough trades. some have hurt, some have been celebrated and some have surprisingly raped us in the ass after their flacid performance here in the 'Burgh. However, at least personally, none have devastated me as much as Army's trade. I actually went out and bought an Army jersey post trade b/c 1. I hope he'll come back home and 2. he'll always be a Penguin to me regardless.

as for the post, fucking brilliant as always. Малкин = Бог

Go Pens.

Zarley Zalapski Blues Explosion said...

How come nobody, especially on a hockey blog, ever gives props to the greatest hockey video game ever (that like only 6 people have played, but that's besides the point)...

Rock the Rink for original Playstation!!!

When you'd fight, there were finishing moves like in Mortal Kombat!

PensKitty said...

Thanks Blackngold66!
I'll let you know if its a success.

Dr. Turkleton said...


maybe the other 5 people [besides yourself] who have played that game, don't read this blog


[Hossa: 10 minutes & 13 seconds (so far) of Penguin Hockey Excellence]

Raybin said...

Rock the Rink for original Playstation!!!

When you'd fight, there were finishing moves like in Mortal Kombat!

That's pretty badass, but Blades of Steel for the original NES will always be #1 in my heart.

Dani said...

My dear blogging friend Anne has given me an Insiders look at Sabres hot new, up and coming prospect. Jealous?

@ Staff…
Thanks for not being rude about my poor little #38. Whip lashed by Ranger’s Sean A$$ery one game…practically carried off in a stretcher the next game. But I must disagree, even if the game were played in B-lo, it would still be a no goal [har har]. Also, No need for Photoshopping Andrew Peters, he voluntarily cross-dressed to benefit cancer patients. Send thanks to Ryan Miller. Bless his heart.

<3ClasslessFanBlog<3 wink wink nudge

michelle said...

"went to a Sheetz and made an MTO for someone, came back and got a shot off."

Lmfao. Malkin is a multi-tasker for sure.

Steve In Denver said...

@ Dr. Turk, Gary Rissling was a total beast & fan favorite. Not to mention one of the ugliest sob's ever. His nickname? Pacman. Cause he ate people alive.

I was probably one of the other 2200 people in the stands with you back then!


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