GameDay (39) -- Pens @ Sabres Winter Classic

1:00 PM


It is cold as balls.

Happy New Year

Last Post Of 2007

What a year.
We'd recap it.
But you remember it.

If you don't.
[The Sweater Ted] takes a look at the top ten moments of the 2007.

.........................

We have been wrapped up in Icebowlblog, but there will be a storm brewing in Pittsburgh on Wednesday.

Precedent:

During this past baseball-playoff season, the Boston Bruins were inconvenienced when they were pretty much forced by the Red Sox to switch their game at 7:30 to 3:00 so as not to interfere with a Red Sox game on the same night.

This upcoming Saturday:

Invasion of Florida

Jacksonville @ Pittsburgh -- Heinz Field -- 8:00pm
Florida Panthers @ Penguins -- Mellon Arena -- 7:30pm

Good God Almighty

WE DARE YOU

It'll be a fine line between being angry about it...and coming off as whiners.

It could get interesting.

........................................................................................

Every cloud that kicks you in the balls or ovaries has a silver lining.

We're of the school of thought that Marc-Andre Fleury being injured is good for the Pens.

Off the top of our head, the Pens have gone 9-4 since MAF went down.
That means we've got some depth at goaltending.
Or it means the Pens defense can clamp down when it has to.

But MAFer is up for a new contract following this season.
His 40 wins last year will never be erased, but unless he comes out with guns a-blazin' when he returns from injury, he's gonna turn in an average season, statistically speaking.

Would this give the Pens some leverage when it comes time to negotiate?
Maybe.

Then again, if the Pens decide not extend his contract, he's gonna be an unrestricted free agent.
There are teams out there who will pay MAF some bucks to play goal for them.

Hopefully, MAF's injury followed by an average comeback scares away some bidders, but probably not.

We may even be talking out of our ass.

......................................................

Hebrew Hammer sent this along



Screen cap from Lemieux's first game back in 2000.

At least one of your computer screen's pixels has died by now.

Speaking of Roberts.
Why do we wear wristbands that says "WWGRD?"

From [ESPN] report of Roberts breaking his leg.

"As Connolly fell in the left circle in Buffalo's end, the 41-year-old Roberts went down with him and struck his left leg hard on the ice, breaking his fibula."

"A stretcher was brought out but Roberts did not use it."

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When we posted the pics of Sabu's pads for the Winter Classic, which it looks like he won't need, someone in the comments wondered what Sabu thought about switching his equipment for the game.

In last season's playoffs, the Canucks had a big-time Game 7 against Dallas and decided to go with their then-new blue and green uniforms, meaning Luongo would wear those colors in the game.

Vancouver ended up winning, but you can't help but think the red and blue equipment was more worn in to Luongo's liking.

..........................................................................

Due to the time off during the holidays,
trade rumors and crap had the chance to kick into high gear. [ Ottawa Sun ]

Pens may be interested Ray Emery. Blah blah blah.


A lot of other cool stuff at that link.

.......................................................................

In news that prompts you to high-five the closest person,
some dude in the ECHL is accused of slapping a male flight attendant and exposing himself to passengers. [ Fanhouse ]
Reports say the plane was en route to Ottawa.
Or Ben Eagers house.



Reminder plenty of good Photoshopping days are still available.
So send anything along.

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Columbus says they want an outdoor game. [ Columbus Dispatch ]
The rest of the NHL tells them to make the playoffs first.


Make no bones about it.
Ovechkin won't be in Washington next season unless he gets the salary-cap maximum.

That Ottawa Sun article above mentioned that the Caps recently offered him a 5-year, $37.5 million deal.
Ovechkin responded by giving Capitals management a powerbomb.

AO fired his agent, and he is representing himself,
which means he's gonna be brash and probably not negotiate.

We want Ovechkin to go somewhere else for a plethora of reasons:

1. We would like him a little more.
2. Capitals fans suffering.
3. Hopefully he goes to the West because we don't want to play him in the playoffs, nor do we want to hear the "OMG Sid vs. AO" four times every season.

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We pondered a month ago about starting a Winter Classic-specific blog for everything there is to talk about.

But there is simply way too many links.

If you feel inclined, just go to Google news and search "Winter Classic".

..............................................

And lastly

We are on our way to Buffalo.
So we won't be by a computer until late tonight

With that said.

We would just like to thank everyone who has stopped by in the past year.
We couldn't do this without you.

Happy New Year.
Be safe.

Nice

Demondg1 is already up in Buffalo.

2 Points. 1 Broken Leg. PENS WIN.

2 - 0

[NHL.com recap]

It looked like a normal game.
Everyone was getting pumped for the Winter Classic.
Then all of sudden Gary Roberts is laying on the ice.

We wish him the best in recovery.
Mark Eaton and Gary Roberts in the press box.
Beware.

.........................................
National Anthem

[Thanks to "Go Pens"]

.....................................
Pregame

Shero gives Roberts something for his 900 point.
Roberts almost trips on a camera cord.
A camera man is reported missing later in the evening.

[Derek Ausk]

............................
FIRST PERIOD

Therrien stayed true to his philosophy and started the hot hand, Ty Conklin.

The biggest excitement early was Sydor getting the puck out of the Pens crease after the puck was going crazy.
Crosby was the one who deflected it in on Conklin.

The early frantic pace was finally stopped with a whistle.

That didn't deter the pace at all once the puck was dropped again.

Out of nowhere, there was 6:00 left in the first.
Both teams were beasts in the offensive zone, playing puck-possession hockey while getting some nice chances.

The Pens ended round 2 with Colby hitting the post, and then trying to Lemieux it off of Ryan Miller.

And then crap. The next segment last about 8 seconds, as the Pens headed to the box.

The Pens kill the penalty, and the rest of the period disappears faster than the Little Ceasars franchise in Western Pennsylvania.

Big time Pizza

..............................................................................
SECOND PERIOD

Before you know whats going on.
Crosby walks down.
Saucer pass city.

1-0.

The second period was going along swimmingly.
The Pens had the lead, Conklin was making saves, the Pens were getting chances.

Then an eerie silence enveloped Mellon Arena and most of the tri-state area.
Roberts is down. Repeat. Roberts is down.

WWGRD. Break his leg.

Tough times.

Ryan Malone was heading to the box later for tripping up some guy.

The Pens survived the Buffalo power play, and then had to weather some more before Conk was able to freeze that.

Konstantin Koltsov/Afinogenov flies down and pounds Sydor into the boards.
Questionable.
Guess they don't call boarding anymore.

He got what was coming to him later on the play though, and the Pens jumped on the power play.

The power play was mud.

That was it for a second period that will resonate throughout history.

....................................................................
THIRD PERIOD

Three minutes into the third, you simply realized that this game was gonna be a big win or an awful defeat.

Errey drops a bomb on the world with the news that Gary Roberts broke his left fibula.
Half the world Googles "fibula" to see what it's all about.

After some extensive searching, we find a broken fibula takes a good 6-8 weeks to heal.
That brings us to the playoff push in March, which is when Roberts has earned his bread throughout his career.

Well, the third period was heading down the homestretch.
The Pens took another penalty.

The Pens had a golden opportunity on the shorthanded side of things.
They forget what's going on.

Where's the jokes this season, dicks

Scoods gets high-sticked/stuck in the mouth, and the Pens eventually jump on the PP.
Nothing doin' on the PP.

9:00 left.
Conklin had something special going.
You know what that means.
Conk blocks everywhere.

Staal had a chance later on a breakaway, and Derek Roy hooks him up.
Staal is a midget, so it's better that the Pens were able to take another two minutes off the clock instead of Staal getting a penalty shot.

The Pens don't get anything going on the PP.
And then it was crunch time.
Father time rolls in and things start to get crazy.

Daryl Sydor played a big time hockey game.
He cleans up the mess.

The Pens survive one more scare late with Miller pulled, and then Malkin lays it up into the empty net. 2-0.

Game.

STATS

• Bing: 2A
• Army: 1G
• Conklin: Shutout
  

MISCELLANEOUS

• If you would've told Ty Conklin in September that he'd be starting the Winter Classic, he would have banged your girlfriend.
• last game of '07, what a year.
• Buffalo looked tired.
• Sykora was out with a illness.
• Defense was solid tonight
• See you in Buffalo
  

Breaking News: Gary Roberts Breaks Leg

Broken Fibula



God help us all.

GameDay (38) -- Sabres @ Pens

7:30PM




Lost in all the Ice Bowl hype, the Pens have a pretty important game against the Sabres tonight at the Mellon.

Our good friend in Buffalo, D.O. has a preview from Buffalo's side. [ DieByTheBlade]

Seth from [Empty Netters] has a look from the Pens side.

Ryan Malone returns tonight.

No word yet on whether Sabu or Conkblock gets the call.

It is hard to believe this is the last game of 2007.

What a wild ride it has been.

.................................

The Pens practiced in their Ice Bowl gear yesterday:


Pretty sick pads.

Here is a closeup of Sabu's mask.




From yahoo:

........................................

[Nicholas E.]


Go Pens

Conspiracy Theories

So many times, we forget why the Washington Capitals and their fans are jokes.
Thankfully they have a message board.

This whole mess started after the Caps head coach Bruce Whatever said this:

"It took the doctor so long to get down here (the bench), we couldn't get him back on the ice," coach Bruce Boudreau said. "He got a couple of stitches. It is something that you have to get done." [ Canadian Press ]


But today, poster "imau2fan" on [LGP] found a great thread started last night after the game.

Apparently there is growing concern that doctors didn't treat A.O. fast enough after he got hurt.
[Capitals Message Board]


From poster "Rincrt:"

"I was listening to Bruce Boudreau this morning on XM and he said Ovechkin would have been back on the ice if the doctor had got there a little quicker. So isn't that convenient, the Penguins are losing by a goal and the Caps best player gets injured and the Pittsburgh doctor takes his time getting to the dressing room and Ovechkin never gets back on the ice. Is this the ECHL or the NHL? I know at Verizon, the doctor sits directly behind the Caps bench and literally follows an injured player into the dressing room. Yet in Pittsburgh it takes him ten minutes. Now before all you Pittsburgh lovers start bashing me for whining, answer two questions? How long would the doctor have taken if it had been Crosby not Ovechkin with the cut and, secondly, what if that had been a Clint Malarchuk type of injury?"


It is a shame Al Gore didn't figure out a way to let you poop on someone over the internet.

It gets worse.

Poster "In Ahead Of The Play" your thoughts:

"I mentioned the same thing late last night on my website about the potential disaster had it been a Clint Malarchuk-like injury. But this morning, I began thinking that the cut on Ovie's leg could have been just as bad -- if not worse. There is a main artery running through the leg that could have resulted in significant blood loss. Think no further than the death of Redskin Sean Taylor. In a sport as physically grueling and violent as hockey, there should always be AT LEAST one doctor within a stone's throw of the dressing rooms. The league office needs to take a serious look into this and, depending on their findings, issue some sort of fine or commensurate punishment (giving a draft pick to the Caps would be nice!) to the Pittsburgh organization."

The internet shutdown for 45 seconds today after this was posted.
Referencing Sean Taylor?

And lastly

Poster "Absaraka Windholder" brings it all home.

"Oh, if that had been the femoral artery, that really WOULD have been a call to 911. There would have been blood all over the place--arteries sometimes spray when they bleed, and that's about as emergent as it gets." "And I'm not happy about what seems to have been a delay in treatment. As a physician, your first duty is to your patient, no matter who it is. As a sports team physician, your first duty is to medicine, NOT the sweater of your patient." "If they can prove that care was delayed or denied for hockey reasons, not medical ones, that might even be malpractice. If I were in the Caps' front office right now, I'd be on the phone to the AMA and whatever board regulates medicine in the commonwealth of Pennsylvania. Even the appearance of malpractice deserves a long, hard look in a case like this." "Just my Washington-based $0.02."


Dr. Gregory House, your thoughts?


"Ovechkin Blows"

We'd refute these accusations from Capland, but really does it even need to be done?
It is almost too much to take.

The obligatory "If that was Crosby..." blah blah stuff is all over that message board.

They have such an inferiority complex over there.
Every other thought they have pertains to hating Sidney Crosby.

So stupid.
We wouldn't had even known there was a conspiracy if we didn't find that message board,
which means that no one thought it was a big deal and no one cares.

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Some mainstream journalist copied Mirtle. [Bfloblog] via [Deadspin]

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Greg Wyshynski gives out some NHL awards. [Fourth Period ]

Top 10 NHL stories of the 2007. [ KK ]

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Doesn't matter who you are, you pull for Joe Sakic.
So it sucks when you hear he's gonna be out till March 'cause he has to get hernia surgery. [ Yahoo ]


The Rangers have had some run-ins with Ice Girls.
They've settled a sexual-harassment suit out of court. [ Fanhouse ]

Go to Fanhouse for the whole rundown, but there was a threesome involved.
We thought threesomes only happened in the movies.

Speaking of the Rangers.
Colton Orr is a jerk.
Solid hit, though. No elbow, player had the puck.




Sabres merchandise sales are off the charts.
They are even outselling every NFL team, except for Pittsburgh and Indy. [ Fanhouse ]



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[ Fanhouse ] breaks down the worst-case scenarios of the Classic.

Sidney Crosby did a conference call about the game.
They're the usual Crosby answers. [ KK ]

We can't keep up with all the Winter Classic stuff.
[ NHL.com Winter Classic Page ]





A lot of talk going on about whether or not Pens fans should bring terrible towels to the game to show a Pittsburgh presence.

We personally won't do that, but hey whatev.
No use in fighting it.

There has been some back-channel internet rumblings of people buying baby blue towels to bring to the game.

We say do whatever you want.
Be smart and buy a huge box of them and sell them.

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Go Pens

Winter Classic Information

If you're taking 79N, then you'll be getting on 90E towards Buffalo.
That red arrow is you.

Once you cross the PENN/NY state line, there's a toll you're gonna have to pay, maybe two tolls.

An hour after getting into New York State, you come across a badass exit called Angola.
It comes out of nowhere and clotheslines you off of 90.
What a rest area.

It has a Denny's, McDonald's, other eating places like a food court, a coffee bar thing, souvenirs, maps of Buffalo, etc.

After Angola, you're about 30 minutes from the Ralph.

Ralph Wilson Stadium has its own exit off of 90.
Just follow the parade.

There's a plethora of people staying at the DoubleTree in downtown Buffalo.
And it seems the place to be on NYE may be Chippewa Street.

We're staying at the Fairfield in Williamsville,
if anyone wants to come and give us a chokeslam.

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AND FINALLY

There's gonna be a crapload of Pens fans there.

But the majority of people we've talked to have already arranged a Pens fans tailgating area in Lot 5A -- The Tundra Lot.

Capital Punishment. PENS WIN.

4 - 3
OT

[ NHL.com RECAP ]


One of these days, this stranglehold the Penguins have over the Capitals will end.

Until then, suck It.
.......................................................

Before the game, SportsBeat on FSN takes us back 7 years to December 27, 2000.

For the scavenger hunt, it eventually asked you where else on this blog we have used this picture.

.................................................................................

Gary Roberts gets his 14th Dan Potash pre-game interview of the season.

The 99% of Pens fans out there who don't know this blog exists
have no idea why Roberts gets so much play.

......................................................................



[Thanks to Pensgirl]

.............................................

FIRST PERIOD

The game started tepidly, both teams just jobbing around.

It didn't take long for Laraque and Brashear to drop the gloves.
Solid fight.

Nice

A little bit after that, Ruutu went to the box for holding the stick, a penalty that we hope gets called the next time we play the Senators.

Late on the powerplay, Semin had a chance to explode in Conklin's face, but he tried to get it to Ovechkin who was too busy trying to figure out what to do when he doesn't have the puck.

The first period was flying, and then so was Jeff Taffe.
He carried the puck down the left wing on a 3-on-2.
He goes short side, top shelf.

1-0.

Steigerwald piledrives your enthusiasm after the goal by saying Taffe scoring a goal means the Pens are getting "third-dary scoring."

Conklin got the puck later and shimmied it over to Gonch.
Gonch fails 10th-grade trigonometry, and the bounce off the back boards gives Brashear an easy goal in front of the net.

Picture: Some Caps fans celebrate the big goal.
1-1.

We have a pet peeve:
Whenever someone says a stat like "Fleury is 4-1-2 lifetime against the Buffalo Sabres, so we should expect a solid performance from him tonight."

Errey said something like that when he said the Capitals and Pens' old Patrick Division rivalry is alive and well.
Whatever. Stupid.

MAF's hypothetical two wins against Buffalo two years ago means we can assume he'll have a good game against this year's Sabres?

Whatev.
Colby Armstrong scores a Rangers "throw it at the net, F it" goal.

2-1.

Goalie Brent Johnson didn't feel like playing. So he quits.
And the visitor's dressing room door open, and out comes the best goalie in Penguins history.

Oli The Joke

We weren't there, but it sounded like a "Olie" chant broke out.
Good tmes.

And, holy balls, we ranted above about those lifetime stats crap, and then Steiggy talks about Kolzig's career numbers against the Pens and how it may be relevant in this game against the 2007 Penguins.

Ovechkin heads to the penalty box late in the period when he hears that a naked man is in there.

But it is just Pensblog Charlie.

He grudgingly heads to the locker room as his penalty carries over into the second period.

........................................................................................

SECOND PERIOD

Ovechkin returns to his happy place, and the Pens continue their power play.

They got some crap going, with Staal getting a solid chance. No dice.

The Caps ended up getting the next goal.
They came in, held up, got it to a trailer.
Pothier puts it home and acts like it's his first career goal.

2-2.
Solid shot, though.

Ruutu pops some viagra and blasts Semin into the boards in the Caps zone.
Somehow that wasn't an elbowing penalty.

The second period wasn't much.

Towards the end of the period, Taffe almost got another goal which would have got him a spot on Sid's line.

After a flurry of Pens activity, Gonchar makes another mistake.
Ovechkin sharks in from the blue line to get an easy goal.

3-2.
The last Ovechkin sighting for the night.

The classy Pens fans don't boo Ovechkin when his goal is announced.
Actually, Pens fans weren't booing any time AO had the puck.
Capitals fans are classless, booing Crosby.

As the period ended, Malkin goes Malk 6 into the boards after getting tripped.

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THIRD PERIOD

Caps get a powerplay.

The Caps are everywhere, just like the third wheel that won't go away.

Conk block on Nylander on the doorstep.

Big save.

Armstrong gets out of the box, and Sid gets a solid chance splitting the D, but he goes five hole.

Save.

Out of nowhere, there was less than 10 minutes to go in the game.

Ovechkin's sister starts warming up her vocal chords.

The Capitals pressure the Pens late, keeping the puck in the Pens zone for about 8 minutes with the help of 11 turnovers.
Frustrating times.

Jim Morrisson makes a huge mistake late, slamming Malkin into the boards and heading to the box for roughing.

You ask for these chances.

The Pens power play had the perfect balance of sitting back and taking a solid shot when they got their chance.
The big unit went off, to gain some energy for that last-minute burst.

But wait. The Pens win a faceoff and it squirts out to Sydor.
Sydor gets the puck. He shoots like if he doesn't score, his wife leaves him.
Magic bullet into the net.

3-3.

STUNNED

Malkin and Bing almost bring the house down in the last 20 seconds.
But we were going to overtime.

Picture: Caps coach Bruce Whatever trying to escape to the locker room so he can poop.

......................................................................

OT

Kolzig was in net.
The game was in Mellon Arena.
It was overtime.
You didn't need to know anymore.

Crosby brings the puck from behind the net.
No one knows what Kolzig is doing.

Gonch, demoralized all night, rises from the ashes.

Game.

STATS

• Ty Conklin: 3-0 as a starter. The world could end.
• Bing: 2A
• Sydor: 1G, 1A
• Gonch: 1G
  

MISCELLANEOUS

• Will Scuds get his own photoshop expo?
• Take what you can get.
• Pens cement second place.
  
• Thanks to Eric P for his photoshops of Taffe and screenshot of A.O.
• Thanks to Pensgirl for pictures.
• Thanks to DM for the "Crapital" picture.
• You can smell the Winter Classic.
  

GameDay (37) -- Crapitals @ Pens

7:30pm



Nothing says the holidays quite like flicking your middle finger to the Washington Capitals.
What a joke organization from top to bottom.


7:25pm

Moment of silence for Mark Eaton's knee.
What a human.

You are out but not forgotten.
For the remainder of the season, we will honor Eaton before each game.

During the anthem no matter where you are.
Stand with one fist thrust in the air.



In Scuds we trust.


God Help Us All.

Vintage Therrien


Thanks to Eric P.

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Pens fans are easy to spot in Washington.

The same pertains at the Mellon.

WINNER

Josh M. hailing from Shaler won the ticket contest.

We had a solid number of people take part in the scavenger hunt.

We talked to Josh on the phone today using voice-analysis software during the call to make sure it wasn't Melvin.

We'll have everything anyone wants to know about the Winter Classic,
as far as NYE celebrating and tailgating and giving Buffalonians DDTs.

We reiterate it wasn't rigged at all.

We wanted to do a screenshot of our e-mail,
but in Gmail, it timestamps the last e-mail you sent to that person in that particular strain.
So the time's are all messed up.

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Michael W. was at 8:39
Josh put his in 10:15

Brandon McG. is on a ledge somewhere.
He put his in at 10:16

Scav

Welcome to the Game.

By 10pm we meant 1 am... well 2am.

Pay attention to detail.

The search isn't that hard. Because it was starting too get stupid.
In fact this whole thing is pretty gay.
But look we are depressed about Mark Eaton's knee injury.

Lets have some fun, people.

Follow the links on Al Gore's internet.

Find the prize [you'll find out later what your looking for]

Email us.

thepensblog@gmail.com


6th emailer wins.

We will be in direct contact at 5:30pm est tomorrow.

Contest will be over when the background changes to black.



There is a link in our sidebar that has no earthly business being there.
Your search can start there.

BREAKING NEWS

The Pensblog has fell into two extra tickets for The Winter Classic.

BE HERE AT 10:00 WEDNESDAY NIGHT.


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DETAILS:

2 tickets at $60 apiece.
$120 total.

We are not at liberty to say where the seats are, but they will be near where we will be sitting.

Anyone still wanting to go to the Winter Classic won't care where they're sitting, anyway.
They'll just be pumped to go.

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

There will be an internet scavenger hunt beginning at 10:00 Wednesday night.
Saying anything more about the hunt right now would be mud.

The ticket contest will not be rigged.
If we were going to rig it and give the tickets to a friend, we wouldn't be having this discussion right now.

Everyone and anyone, excluding Kenny Melvin, will have an equal and fair shot of winning the tickets.

'Twas

That Brooks dude in New York was talking about Roberts and Ruutu.

And now...
Apologies to anyone who may have posted this in commentorblog,
but a writer from Ottawa says Shero wants a winger for Sid. Right now.

If he can't get him, Therrien's gone. [ Ottawa Sun ] via [ Fanhouse ]

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Now, wait. Hold everything.
We're pretty objective on hockey, even when it comes to the Pens.
People may disagree because we make fun of their players, but we do that 'cause it's fun.

Adam Proteau from [ The Hockey News ] made a list of delusions that each team has and the corresponding reality check of that situation.

Pittsburgh The Delusion: Dany Sabourin and Ty Conklin can hold the fort until Marc-Andre Fleury returns from injury in February. Reality Check: Even if the two journeymen goalies play well until Fleury comes back, does GM Ray Shero still want to entrust his post-season hopes in someone who flopped in the playoffs last spring? Highly unlikely.

Did we miss something that the rest of the NHL saw?
Did MAF flop in the playoffs last spring against the eventual Eastern Conference champions?
Against the number-one team in the East this season?
Games 3 and 4 were hard-fought, low-scoring contests down to the wire.
And the Pens kind of won Game 2, dude.

What an idiot.

................................................

Speaking of the MAFer...
Here's a bad-ass close-up shot of his mask.



And then Sabu



Here's the gallery of all the NHL mask. [ NHL.com ]

...........................................................................

Roberts got the NHL.com First Star on Sunday.



...............................................

:: David Amber Top-10 Time.
Top 10 oddities in the NHL. [ ESPN ]

[ Fanhouse ] pointed out that the list has a glaring omission:
Lemieux's 5 goals 5 different ways.

......................................................



MIROSLAV SATAN


Our hope is that he plays at least one game as a New Jersey Devil before he retires.

This is fitting on the day that Christ was born.
Miro Satan recently registered his 666th career point.

This is in our subconscious, and we want to say Empty Netters pointed this out last season,
but various NHL media outlets make light of Miro Satan.

Here are links to his player profiles:

Yahoo -- http://sports.yahoo.com/nhl/players/666
ESPN -- http://sports.espn.go.com/nhl/players/profile?statsId=666
SI.com -- http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/hockey/nhl/players/666/
Fox Sports -- http://msn.foxsports.com/nhl/player?statsId=666




Those flaps on the outside of his pads are apparently a big deal. [ Fanhouse ]


They're still up in arms about the whole HockeyTown thing. [ KK ]

.............................................................................


What is this? No one even knows.
It has something to do with goalies and saves. [ BehindTheNet ]

...............................................

First off, this Friday, we'll have everything you want to know about which bars to celebrate New Year's Eve in Buffalo as well as where the main known Penguin fan tailgating area will be.

:: The process of making the rink was unexpectedly postponed a few hours on Sunday evening, as the rink crews first had to wipe up all the feces from the Buffalo Bills trying to play tackle football.

:: The workers had to work through 50MPH wins that sent a tarp airborne which had the capability to decapitate someone. [ TSN ]

:: Dan Craig, the man whose in charge of everything going on up there, is a warrior. [ NHL.com ]

:: Scott Burnside and Damien Cox realize that no one reads their stuff if they're making out.
So they decide to debate the relevance of the Winter Classic. [ ESPN ]
If you make the mistake of clicking that link, you'll see how big of a douche Cox is.
2 points for using douche and cox in the same sentence.

:: We will soon be seeing print ads in the Trib of an outdoor pickup game with "It's A Great Day for Hockey" written on it. [ Kukla's Korner ]

.......................................

Merry Christmas

WWGRD. PENS WIN

4-2

[NHL.com recap]

In its simplest form, to the ordinary person.
It is a mere question of little importance.

But in our universe.

"What Would Gary Roberts Do," is not a question.
It is a statement.
It is a mindset.

A statement few can understand, and a mindset only one can have the power explain.

What Would Gary Roberts Do?

Be a beast.

..........................................
Pregame

A rumor started by Larry Brooks, so-called writer from the NY Post, says Gary Roberts has asked the Penguins for a trade.

Look Larry Brooks is about as reliable as the condom that broke on his Dad.
He is everything that is wrong with modern day journalism.

So if you want to believe him, go ahead.


......................................
First Period

Steiggy and Errey started everything off by reminding us that Chara has a long stick.

He ended using that long stick to throw it at the net.
Conklin can't handle it, PJ Axelsson was there to put it home.

1-0.
It looked bad.

You can't shake the feeling that Conk seems apathetic towards everything.

They had to call up the War Room in Toronto to look at a high stick.
We're told that it's the first time that Mellon Arena has had a direct line to Toronto.
Or maybe we heard that wrong.
Or maybe we don't care.

Later, JFK knocks a piece of glass loose near the Pens locker-room entrance.
Solid work by the glass repair guys.
That is big time pressure.

Ference went to the box later on for JFK.
Then Wideman slashes Malkin's stick in two.
The Pens had a 5-on-3 for 1:30.

They spent about a minute to set up Malkin with two blasts.
One was blocked, the other one went right into Auld's balls.

Unreal. The entire powerplay goes by the wayside.

Picture: Some gay Allegheny Power workers attempt to restart the Penguins powerplay. They are disappointed to find the solution is not making out with each other

After a while, Sid tries to go coast-to-coast and almost buries it.
Colby grabs up the rebound and can't do it either.
The play ends with the Pens going to the box. That's just how it's been lately.
The penalty was a slashing penalty on Bing.

The Pens survive it.
Bad times.

.............................................................
Second Period

To start the second period, the Pens came out buzzing.
They had to weather some Bruins crap.

And then it finally happened.

Back to the neighborhood we go.
On this weeks episode Mr. BGL goes into his office and finds Roberts in front.
1-1.

Best goal of the season.

The goal changes the game. And the lives of 3,000 or so Turkish people who are killed by the aftershock.


Later, some Bruin charges into Sydor, putting the Pens on a big PP.

When it looked like the Pens were out of sorts, they finally got it together.
Gonchar kept it in the zone, Staal grabs it up.

Over to Malkin for a one-timer.
Put it where mama keeps the the cookies.

Top shelf.
2-1.

30 seconds later, our favorite line connected again.
Call it the NWO line.

Roberts comes down the wing and gets it to Larauqe charging to the net.

3-1.
You have to love the BGL celebration.

Uh-oh. Two-goal lead.
The only thing you could count on less is Michael J Fox being your partner in a game of Jenga.

[Credit to this photoshop goes here ]

Marco Sturm is a joke.
He slew-foots Eaton behind the Pens net.
Eaton is a warrior.
He does not return to the game after the second intermission.
God help us all.


The rest of the second it mud.
The Bruins try to get something going.
No dice.

Conk-block city.

[Thanks to whoever coined that phrase in C-blog]

.............................................
Third Period

The third was all about survival.
You have to be able to hold onto a 3-1 lead at home.
If you can't. Then you are not going anywhere.


Conk-blog was in few mode, holding down the fort.
Midway through the third Rutuu almost slashes the throat of Alex Auld.

Very scary situation.
The mask Auld had on clearly saved him.
If that would have been Hasek.
Peace.

Back to the action.
Malkin gets called for a trip.
But the penatly kill is solid.

Later on the Pens get a chance to ice the game, but the powerplay flutters.

Father time enters the building. And Claude Jullien knows it.
Next thing you know, it is almost under a minute.
The Bruins are flying.

Uh oh.

Some jerk scores.

3-2.

Picture: Claude Joke-iun poops himself during the timeout.

The next seconds are the longest of our lives.
But somehow bing gets it.
He rings it off the post.

The puck waits in the crease.
And a silence comes over the Bruins bench.
A grizzled vet glides to the puck.

With the charm of a 40-year-old salesman.

Gary Roberts closes the deal.

4-2

Game.

STATS

• Roberts: 2G, 1A
• BGL: 1G,1A
• Malkin: 1G
• EC: 2A

MISCELLANEOUS

• Where is Orpik?
• It appears we only recap wins now. Fairweatherblog?
  
• Solid win, much needed.
• Malkin goal was special
• EC is really starting to play up to his potentional.
• Kind of miss Ryan Malone.
• Bruins are riddled with injuries.

GameDay (36) -- Bruins @ Pens

Bring it

Home Invasion. PENS LOSE.

4-2

We always hear those stories of people going into someone else's house and peeing everywhere.
That was this game.

Halfway through doing the recap, we read through it and realized that we're tired of reading and writing about the Islanders/Pens games.

If you're upset at us for not producing a recap,
you may need to reassess everything going on in your life.

But jeez.
Tired of playing the Atlantic Division.
It 100% justifies the observation made by that dude who said our Rangers recaps are mud.
We're sick of seeing them.

We've spent money during Christmas, and we are already depressed because of it.

You ever wake up one morning and wish you were on the cast of Heroes?

That happened to both of us Saturday morning.
If this blog had a coach, we would have been sitting in the press box watching some third-liner bang out a mediocre recap.

Even on a night when Gary Roberts gets his 900th career point,
we refused to bring nothing but our best to the table.
We can't even muster up two minutes of time to update flashblog.
We're in a slump.

We couldn't even get out and see National Treasure.

The pic of Roberts in the previous post was all anyone had to know about the game.

Apologies,

Derek, Adam, Marty the chicken, Charlie

We'll be full-throttle for Sunday's game.

In case you wanted to see it.
Here is the recap as we had it started in the pre-draft.
It is bad.
....................................................................

4-2


Got to get back on the horse on Sunday.

..............................
National anthem

[Demondg1]
.................................

First Period

We are getting bad here.
Can someone tell us where the hell Brooks Oripik is? Seriously what is going?


The Islanders are dead last in the NHL in goals scored in the first period.

30 seconds in.

Goalblog.

Satan lives.

1-0

Everyone has recover for a little bit. Sabu tries to get himself back into the game.

Gary Roberts stares at some dude for the Isles.
He falls.

Roberts picks it up and centers it.

Mike Sillinger forgets the rules.

Powerplayblog.
Pens try to dump it in. Ricky D says no way man.

Pretty much nothing happens until BGL-Roberts-EC came out.
BGL goes into his office.

Passes to Roberts.
Roberts wraps around.
EC picks up the trash.

1-1

..........................
Roberts 900th point
Standing O
............................

The goal unites the Pens.
Some moron takes a penalty.
Ricky D says go away.

*need photoshop.
Maybe Ricky D in an Emo band?

..........................
Second

The Pens open up on a Powerplay.
Still nothing.

Jordan Staal-Malkin-Crosby is nice though.

After the Isles kill it.

Bruno Homo flicks it over the glass.

The Pens try to decline the Pentaly. No dice.

Just when it looks like another Powerplay will fail. Andy Sutton and Ricky D give Staal an early Christmas present.

2-1


Jeff Taffe with a chance.
Diving catch by Little Ricky on Rutuu.


Mike comeri sucks. Mark Eaton owns him.


**Photo shop of Eaton plowing Duff?***

Phil Borque brings up a good point.
Comire brought his girfriend Hillary Duff a 100,000 car for her B-day.
He is stressed out over Christmas.


Pens start cycling.
EC is tackled.
Nothing.

4 on 2 for the Isles.

Gasp Andy Hilbert.
Goal
2-2

Roberts draws two pentalies.

..........................

Third

Malking and Crosby almost bring down the house.
Best combo since....

JFK takes a four minute major

Sabu

Shit.


Peace

Recap Coming Later

If you really care.


World Class





Go Pens

GameDay (35) -- Islanders @ Pens

Home sweet home
7:30pm





Oh great.
We get to play the Islanders again.
Last time they played, Chris Simon went off the deep end.
He tried to cut Jarko Ruutu's leg off.
Typical Islanders stuff.

Should be fun.

• Game notes thanks to [LGP ]

Anthem singer is Sarah Marince.
She is 3-1 this season.

Huge sigh of relief.
Mark Eaton is OK.

He will play.


Do you feel lucky punk?

...................................

Speaking of Mark Eaton.
By now we're sure everyone has seen the AP article from last nights game. [ Yahoo ]

"Ryan Christensen and rookie Chris Letang scored for Pittsburgh in the shootout, both beating Tim Thomas, who was making his first start after missing seven games with a groin strain."

For this to happen is beyond embarrassing. They also called Mark Eaton"Adam," at one point.

Does the AP fact check anymore?
Why not actually read what your wrote.
It also appears the article is still up and unchanged.

No excuse for this.
Wow.

.........................................................

Go Pens.

Go Eat Some Wicked Chowdah. PENS WIN.

5 - 4
SHOOTOUT

[ NHL.com RECAP ]


It was said in commentorblog.
But needs to be said again.

If the Pens would've lost this game, there may have been a fan meeting on the Smithfield Bridge.

The dynamic of watching your team blow a four-goal lead is interesting. It is like watching your significant other engage in erotic behavior with the mailman, gardener, pizza guy, and the guy in JBR commerical all at the same time.

But that's life.

A win is a win.
At least someone from Pittsburgh finally beat a New England team.

.....................................................

National Anthem

Timothy C.

.........................................................

FIRST PERIOD

The first shot of the game on Conklin gave you a heart attack.
Didn't look like he knew what was going on.

That was forgotten quickly.
Boom, that fast. The Bruins somehow left Malkin in the slot. He Bucky Dent's it home.

1-0.
[We had to go to this lame joke, because no one takes pictures when Malkin scores a goal. Photographers need to start waking up. ]

Even before the Pens first goal, the Boston fans weren't in the game.
When Bing comes to town, people are usually pumped.
Boston fans aren't impressed though, they were probably talking about how awesome they all are.

Letang came up big-time by saving a sure goal by swatting the puck of mid-air while Conklin was in no-man's land.

The Pens were letting the Conk see everything early on while the Bruins crashed into him every 45 seconds.

Well, holy balls.
The top line connected again as Colby Armstrong flies down the wing while Bing crashed the net.

2-0.

2-goal lead, man.

What came next was Gary Roberts running Lemieuxblog in the Boston zone.
He sets up Christensen twice with insane passes that Christensen couldn't put home.
Roberts is clearly a better passer than Larry Bird.

The top line got it working yet again.
Aaron Ward takes a late run at Malkin and knocks him down.
He gets up in time to job in the slot, where Crosby finds him.

Malkin holds in "B" on NHL 95.

3-0.
Still no picture.
Terrible.

After that goal, a new Ben Eager came to the forefront.
Zdeno Chara and Laraque throw down.
After staring at each other till next week, they embrace, and Chara performs some kind of Chinese armdrag takedown.

Laraque couldn't believe it.
And the refs stun the world by handing out 2 minutes to each man for delay of game.

Chara: He spends an extra 30 seconds in the box, looking for his game.

When he gets out, he and Laraque decide to fight again.
And it was another awkward display, only rivaled by the awkward Petrelli-Parkman mind-reading contest in the season finale of Heroes.

Chara ended up dragging Laraque down to the ice again.
What the hell was going on.

After that it was penaltyblog.
Malkin went to the box.
The Pens come out with a 2-on-1 shorthanded chance.
It was Staal's all the way. But it was Staal. Save.

You wouldn't hear boos resonating in the Mellon Arena if the Pens had a period like this at home.
You'll hear some from insatiable businessmen who then go to the bathroom during the intermission to talk about golf and hot babes.
But not from the majority.

.............................................................

SECOND PERIOD

The Pens killed off the remainder of that Malkin penalty to start up the second period.

Man, what a dead arena.
On the delayed penalty when Crosby was being held, you could hear some Bruins fan saying the call sucked.
Is that a big deal? No.
But everyone up there is too worried about the Patriots.

The power play was non-existent for the entire time.
Right before the power play was gonna tick off, Bing throws down with Andrew Ference.

This may be what Crosby needs.
Get rid of the goody-two-shoes crap and start going nuts.
Like Dwayne Johnson a.k.a The Rock.

"This is gonna be Sid's first fart." -- Bob Errey.
Kinda weak, 'cause Sid didn't throw his helmet (and visor) off.

And even while in the box, he draws an extra two minutes.
What a hockey player.

And then this second power play was just as limp.
They get a 5-on-3 for a while, then it goes 5-on-4.

Thomas pretty much keeps the Bruins in the game.

Roberts tried getting into the zone, but got owned by the Giant Gonzalez.

Later, Malkin went to the box on a jobber trip.
We finally get to see Chara get set up with at least four one-timers from the point.
Ty Conklin wakes up to make a few saves.

Some Bruin does something, Pens back on the powerplay.

And then Christensen directs a Whitney shot-pass into the net.

4-0.

And the Pens still had a powerplay. No dice on that.

But uh-oh. Hall gets his stick up.
Then Gonch jobs someone.
5-on-3 for a little bit.

The Bruins scored on their 5-on-4 chance, putting the shittiest goal horn in the NHL at center-stage.

4-1.

It actually sounded like the 500 fans in attendance all farted at once.

Penaltyblog in the second wasn't over.
The Pens hit up another power play when Armstrong goes down.

Oh no. Shortie right off a faceoff. 4-2.
That was nothing but bad news.

That was it for the second.
The third period had all the makings of suicideblog.

.................................................................

THIRD PERIOD
brought to you by:
Chernobyl Power

The Bruins knew the fat lady was lurking when the third period started.

They came out peppering the Conk with shots.
It was readily apparent that the Pens were content to let the Bruins shoot their balls off.

Ruutu heads to box with 13-something left in the game.
The Penguins maintain.

A little while later, Gonch heads to the box.
The Pens survive the PP, but the Bruins put it home shortly thereafter.

tallyho. 4-3.

As Father Time and the fat lady start doing it, Christensen shows he work at the Pittsburgh Marriot, as he opens the door for the Bruins by taking a penalty.

Doesn't matter how it went in.
A nice one-timer from the slot, and it was somehow tied.

4-4.

Unreal.
This is the type of things that make people drink.

After the goal, everyone was willing to accept OT.
Let it be said: Ty Conklin showed some guts.
And we all better just support him now. Because we are going to need him.

Malkin and Crosby almost got something together.
Thomas said F you.

...................................................................

OVERTIME

OT was a frenzy, but we were headed for a shootout the whole way.
The Bruins didn't even touch the puck it seemed like.

.......................................................................

We went to the shootout, but the Bruins forgot to bring their guns.

Christensen goal. Thomas forgot to check his scouting report.
Conk save.

LeGame up next for the Pens.

Goal.

Marco Joke is up for the B's.
Should have kept Joe Thornton.

Conksave.

Game.

STATS

• Bing: 1 G, 2 A, Gordie Howeblog
  
• Malkin: 2 G
• Colby: 3 A
• Conk: 37 saves
  

MISCELLANEOUS

• Who comes out and gives up a 4-goal lead, not to mention a 2-goal lead in the 3rd period?
• Chara is a coward. And we will not say that to his face.
• Bruins again on Sunday.
• EC played a really good game.
• Conklin was there when he had to be.
• Boston sucks.
  

GameDay (34) -- Pens @ Bruins

If Ottawa wasn't on acid, Boston would be garnering a lot of attention.

We have to worry about Chara tonight...
and the fact that Ty Conklin is starting in goal.

GULP

It Was One Year Ago Today, Mario Taught The Fans To Play

One year ago today, our very existence as human beings was on the line.

We woke up with a fear of the unknown.

One year ago today, we were only worried about the Pens' future in Pittsburgh.
Today, we are only worried about the Penguins not making the playoffs.

We never link to ourselves in posts, 'cause that's pretty lame.
But these posts and the resulting commentorblogs are why we run the site.

State of Emergency [ Pensblog ]

Reaction after the awarding of the license. [ Pensblog ]

"Let's just say it's beginning to look a lot like Christmas," Brenda Tinnen, general manager of Kansas City's new Sprint Center, told the Kansas City Star.

Adam Duritz Helps A Nation Cope With The News [ Pensblog ]

.........................................................................



Eric Po with the vid.

Well, the Pens have resorted to dressing candy for games.
Jeff Taffe was re-called from WBS. [ PG ]

In more pressing matters, infections are nothing to laugh about.
Ryan Malone's out for a couple games. [ PG ]

McKeon's Power Ranking. Pens 18th. [ Yahoo ]
Pens 21st. Ouch. [ ESPN ]

.........................................................................

AFTERMATH



-- From commentor "MasteroftheObvious"

"It's quite obvious that for every Rangers game recap that the writing style completely changes. I'm sure the writing is a collaborative effort for all your posts, but the Rangers posts are noticeably off.

The hockey-related knowledge seems to not be there as much as other nights. The person doing the recaps is usually stuck in 1997 when Jaromir Jagr really mattered, as opposed to now when he's as apparent most games as a silent fart. The jokes are sometimes forced and just don't really bang on all cylanders like they usually do.

Maybe I'm wrong, maybe it's just something different about playing the Rangers that makes you guys shift gears, but really it'd be awesome if those posts were on the level all of the others are.

I usually have to stifle laughter in my cubicle because of the way you guys describe what happens night to night, but with these games I usually find myself scratching my head and finding typos left and right.

So uhh.. I guess I'm about to get torn a new one by Commentorblog, or Staffblog or Gofuckyourselfblog, but I don't know. Pick it up. Stop drinking so early in the day. Or start... Do something"



Picture: Adam Graves slashing our wrists before a big recap

...............................................................................

Trades don't exist anymore. [ MSNBC ]

Clutch-and-grab is back jack. [ London Free Press ]

A lot of mish-mash to discover the NHL's most clutch performer. [ Hockey News ]

............................................................


The long arm of the law came down on Chris Simon Wednesday. [ TSN ]
He's been suspended 30 games; 10 games longer than Milan Kraft's career.
Pens-Islanders on Friday.


As many people in commentorblog pointed out, just as you started pulling for the Blackhawks, they make a trade with Philadelphia to land Ben Eager. [ TSN ]


Throws a huge wrench in the photoshop expo.


Over here in the Eastern Conference, even if you run a blog, you try to pay as little attention as possible to the Red Wings.
They have snuck up and possess a 25-6-3 record right now.
It will be meaningless when they make a second-round exit at the hands of St. Louis.

..............................................................



NBC announcers run nostalgiablog. [ NHL.com ]

More crap about the game. [ National Post ]

The NHL Mascots

We were going to do some fancy thing about uniform origins. But that was stupid.
So we figured we would job and look at the mascots of the NHL.

We are taking over at [ Barry Melrose Rocks] for the day, too,
so you are going to see this post all over the place.

==============================




BLADES THE BRUIN

He's too busy posing for borderline homoerotic pictures to care if you're starting a forest fire somewhere.




SABERTOOTH

The only pictures we could find of Sabertooth depicted him in the old uniforms.




YOUPPI
( means "Hooray!" in French )

Youppi is a beast.
He's the only mascot in North American sports history to be the mascot for two different teams.
The Canadiens adopted him when the Expos left Montreal.






SPARTACAT

"That's gay"




CARLTON THE BEAR

The old Maple Leafs Garden was on Carlton Street.
It looks like he's contemplating suicide.




THRASH

One of the top 5 pictures on the internet.




STORMY THE ICE HOG

A pig? What?
Some big wig for the Hurricanes made his fortune in the farming business.




STANLEY C. PANTHER

snore




SLAPSHOT

Former mascot: Owen Hart




THUNDERBUG

There are more recent pictures of Thunderbug, but we couldn't pass up this Mexican.




SPARKY THE DRAGON

He's on loan from an arena football team.




NJ DEVIL

Look out. It's a devil.




ICEBURGH

Iceburgh played a pivotal role in the 1995 thriller Sudden Death.

..............................................................................




TOMMY HAWK

For the love of God, don't Google Image search "tommyhawk" with safesearch off.




STINGER

What'd you expect?
Then again, what's the deal with an insect?
"Blue Jackets" is in reference to Civil War soldiers.




AL THE OCTOPUS

This is not so much a mascot as it is a prop.

Having an actual mascot wouldn't be feasible since no one goes to Red Wings games anymore.




It was either this or a picture of dustballs. But that is tacky.
Yeah, they're probably staying in Nashville, but it doesn't matter.




LOUIE THE BEAR

Solid. Name another mascot in sports that wears a suit.




WILD WING

The logical choice would have been Darkwing duck. Huge mistake.




BAILEY

Solid mascot. It is a shame the team it supports is so bad.





HOWLER

Janet Gretzky was turned down.
Not bad for a second choice.





S.J. SHARKIE

All business.




HARVEY THE HOUND

If your name is Harvey. You are a joke. Simple as that.
He was part of a controversy when Oilers coach MacTavish pulled his signature red tongue out during a game in frustration.
Kevin Lowe tried to sign the tongue to a 2-year, $6-mill deal.





HOWLER THE YETI

It kind of looks like that thing from the "Neverending story."
You could really freak people out with that.



FIN THE WHALE

We are only using this picture because we want the courts to decide what happens here.

====================

The following teams do not have mascots.
So we decided to give them one.



The can't afford one because Kevin Lowe is running the show.
A good choice would be the Exxon Valdez.

But why not try something different.
The Oilers mascot:



What an actor


Next up are the Dallas Stars.



No idea what this could be.
Maybe an EXIT sign, since they make early first-round exits each year.



Easy one here:

Gordon Bombay.

You have to ask yourself, would Emilio really turn this down?



Somewhere along the line, you'd think someone would have made a mascot for the Rangers.
There are so many places you could go with this.

But in the end....

Teddy Ruxpin beats out the Mighty Morphins Power Rangers.


Do it




And last and always least, the Flyers.
We assume no one in Philly thought of getting a mascot, because people don't think out there.

Putting anything here would not do the Flyers justice, since they're a mistake.

Mistake on 34th Street. PENS LOSE.

4 - 0

[ NHL.com RECAP ]

It was painfully obvious early that this was going to be one of those games.
The season finale of "Shot at Love," had more suspense.

Nothing you can do about games like these.
At least the Pens didn't give up over 150 yards rushing.

National Treasure 2 comes out soon, life isn't that bad.

.................................

National Anthem

Andrew P.

...........................................

No one even knows what happened in the first two minutes.
What a blur.
The Rangers came out with a 1-0 lead.

Mark Recchi was probably the goal scorer.

We waited a good three days for this game.
That whole time, the Rangers were storing power in their legs so that once we turn on the game, they can bring their boot right into our nuts.

As Phil Bourque would say, the Pens power play was flaccid all game.

FSN shows the press conference where Gomez and Drury flipped a puck to see who was gonna wear #23 this season.
Or they flipped a puck to determine which guy would be a bigger offseason mistake.
No matter who wins, the Rangers lose.

Sabu takes a shot to the mask. Play comes to a halt.
Roberts took a shot like that to the face one time back in 1989.
Roberts proceeded to pick up the puck, pee on it, and threw it at the moon.

................................................................................

Aamco commercial


This commercial blows.

..............................................................................

SECOND PERIOD

Tommy Callahan needs to go back to the brake-pad plant.
He gets douched by Orpik and falls down like a little man.
Orpik goes to the box.

And then Hollweg shows how his mother raised him.
He dives into the boards at Mach 8 after 93-pound Kris Letang checks him.
Letang goes to the box.

We tried raising Hollweg's mom and threw our back out.
We still kicked her in the nuts and gave her a DDT with a forklift.

The ensuing Rangers power play looked like an elderly man trying to get an erection.
During that power play, FSN showed us the Pens had been outshot 14-3 up to that point.
Wow.

And then Bing comes out of nowhere with Whitney, but no way.

After some jobbin, the Rangers scored again.
Straka deflects it in.

2-0. A weight machine gets an assist.

20 seconds after that, the Pens were in the box again.
Penalty call on Adam Hall because a Ranger chose to fall.
Jordan Staal them came out and sucked some ball.
boobs

Another Rangers goal using the "throw it to the net and see what happens" play.

Sigh. 3-0.

The Pens are as consistent as an OJ Simpson alibi.

The second period hit the homestretch, and the Rangers started throwing their bodies around like they worked at a morgue.
Roberts had enough and just runs Lundqvist.
Roberts has been showing up.
We're getting closer to our dream of Roberts not even making a move and just plowing into a goalie full-speed during a penalty shot or shootout.

The interference call on Roberts was a real stinker.
Doesn't matter. The New York Power Plays go on the man advantage again.
The Pens kill it.

Roberts goes fishing, and Colton Orr goes off for wasting all of our oxygen.
The Rangers kill it as the period ends.

The Pens finish up the second period with a grand total of 5 shots for the game.
Therrien had every right to walk into the locker room naked at the intermission.

.................................................................................

THIRD PERIOD

The third period starts with Roberts barking into the linesman's ear.
It looked like the linesman peed down his leg.

Errey brought up the topic of MSG not giving the Pens credit for shots.
It looks like Errey is right, which makes whoever is keeping the stats an even bigger moron.
The more saves Lundqvist makes, the higher his SV%, the higher his chances to get MVP.
Don't be stupid.

Letang draws a penalty, and the Pens get a huge chance to breathe some life into the game.

The Pens show up for the first time in the game, with some tic-tac-toe passes with Roberts and Staal, but Lundqvist is insane.

14:00 left, and Father Time was already in the building.

Hollweg goes to the box again later as the third period was reaching the halfway mark.

fat

The Pens had Letang set up for a shot on the power play, but it heads toward the net at the speed of smell, it's blocked and cleared.

Hollweg comes flying out of the box after his penalty over and runs Whitney.
That's a charging penalty every day of the week.
But no call.

JFK takes exception and slams Hollweg from behind.
What a cheap shot.
But it was cheaper what Hollweg did, when he grabbed his stick up by the knob and rammed it into JFK's mouth.

Anyone starting to think Chris Simon was justified for swinging for the fences on Hollweg?
Yeah, we aren't either.

You talk about controlling a game, you talk Rob Shick.
He knew Hollweg was just out there trying to job.
First sign of trouble, and Shick bounces him.
Veteran move.

Kerry Fraser has posters of Rob Shick in his bedroom.

Colby goes to the box after that, and the Pens are shorthanded 5-on-3 for a good minute.

Sabu made a huge save on the PK.
The Rangers finish off their night of weak goals by throwing it at the net again, and Drury is ready to make some cherry pie. 4-0.

Drury, the cherry-picker, enjoying the fruits of his labor, caught red-handed...err, red-mouthed. Woooo.

Roberts was jobbing around the boards, and Strudwick pushed him into the boards. Penalty.
Strudwick skates off like he just got told he couldn't go outside for recess. Pansy.

No goal.

Don't care.

Then we have to hear the Ranger fans chant stupid songs.
And then the Rangers do some Satanic ritual at center ice.

Game.

STATS

• Bad news bears
• Rangers: 4 weak goals. Not by Sabu standards, just by weak-goal standards.
  

MISCELLANEOUS

• Another month of this, someone won't make it.
• No jump tonight.
• Lines were a mess.
• Let's just move on.

GameDay (33) -- Pens @ Rangers

This post sucks

The Big Apple Joke

Monday nights just aren't the same anymore.

...................................

First, [ James Mirtle ] broke down all the secondary- and primary-assist crap pertaining to Sidney Crosby.

Then Seth at [ Empty Netters ] drove it home.

Davey M says Therrien better be good at juggling. [PG]

Do it

........................................................

:: A commentor over at [ Kuklas Korner ] made a ranking of how much traveling each team has racked up this season.

:: Power Rankings from ESPN, TSN, and the like go over like farts in an elevator.
Here are the real rankings. Sort of. [ Globe Sports ]
Whatever that means.

.......................................................

Pensblog doctor, Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman, brought us this report on Rob Scuds.

He'll play.

Quite frankly we'd call that dude on the left a homo.
But it's quite obvious that he plowed Dr. Quinn 50 seconds after this was taken.

..............................................


Chris Simon has been given a leave of absence from the Islanders to seek help. [ TSN ]


The stench permeating from Simon's career and his balls hits home.


[ Taking One For The Team ] broke down the Flyers and their eventual salary-cap crisis.


Chad Larose of the Hurricanes says Scottie Upshall of the Flyers talks trash on the ice.
Dirty and personal trash. [ Fanhouse ]

"He talks so much (stuff) on the ice out there," Larose said, "Dirty (stuff). Personal (stuff). He wants to say that, bring him out here right now ... I'd even put somebody else's shoes on so I can kick him in the face."


McCabe is out two months. [ ESPN ]
No word on who will take over as worst player in the NHL.

And...are the Pens interested in Toronto goalie Andrew Raycroft? [ Fanhouse ]
That rumor was started by TSN Darren Dreger.
No word on his source. But we heard it was from a text message.




Only one good thing would come out of that:
The potential of a bad-ass Raycroft Penguins mask in the style of his current one.


Of course the only bad thing would be bad goaltending.


In the spirit of more rumors,
Spec(ula)tor had some interesting things. [ Spector]

.............................................





The big news Monday was NBC getting Bob Costas to host the coverage of the game. [ Costas ]
That's good, since we can expect to see some kind of residual mention of the game during the Sunday night football crap on NBC.

:: Orpik and Whitney talk about the game. [ Pens ]

:: Georges Laraque talks about the Heritage Classic. [ Laraque ]

:: And the NHL ran with the Happy Valley Ice Bowl story. [ NHL.com ]
Someone would wind up dead up there.


Fans make or break the outdoor game. [ NHL.com ]
Guess you're supposed to signal a touchdown when you get your picture taken.
And hopefully someone kicked that Gretzky lover down those stairs.

..............................................................................

[ PenguinsSuck.com ]


Oh man.

....................................................................

Double J up in NYC tonight.

Bring the funk.

.................................................

And lastly.


[Ian M.]

That is what we are about.


Go Pens

Why So Serious?

First things first.

Ben Eager/Flyers Photoshop Expo

Just a reminder we are welcoming not only Ben Eager photoshops, but anything that also runs down the Flyers, their fans, and anything else.

Deadline is January 17.

Send them to thepensblog@gmail.com.

We have been getting some great ones:

[Zak]

...........................................


This is a job in a good way.

We don't praise any Pittsburgh media members.
But Dave Molinari went ape on John Stevens and Ben Eager. [ PG ]

"The twist, of course, is that a few minutes after Stevens finished skewering the Penguins, one of his players turned up in a hallway outside the visitors' locker room-- which is one hallway and part of another removed from the Flyers' quarters -- and saw fit to inform Therrien, quite publicly, that he is "a joke."

That the remark came from Ben Eager, a guy who would have to get a three-level upgrade just to qualify as a non-factor, really doesn't matter.

That utterly absurd episode -- and several of those five suspensions the Flyers have been issued -- likely explains why Stevens was so quick to pick up on the breakdowns in the Penguins' self-control. He seems to get pretty regular exposure to that sort of thing."

No question this has been the first pulse from Molinari in about 3 years.

.............................................

Eric Politowski brings us Penguins fights 11-18.



............................................

AFTERMATH



These came from the comments on the TSN Simon story. [ TSN ]

-- haha is this a joke? all you guys saying "suspend him for life!" ... have you even watched the replay? if that was intent to injury, it was the WORST attempt ive ever seen in any sport. I dont condone what Simon did, i also dont condone slew footing which was done to him ... has anyone been slew footed before? that has a more likely chance of putting you out with a head injury and breaking you knee/leg then "stomping" on the BOOT of his skate does. Suspend em both for their parts and be done with it and stop with all this suspend him for life.

-- What's the big deal ? I just finished watching this and can't believe the call for further punishment. "If" he stepped on an area that could have resulted in a laceration, then YES he's stupid. This was obvious that he was trying to get off the ice, stepped on the side of the guys skate to get him out of the way, NOT CUT or Injur. These guys know what will injur and what will get a guy to move. If he stepped on the back of his leg on the socks, then the outcry is correct, this time it's guilty for being Chris Simon. Lighten up.

-- I think it was a strong defensive move by Simon. Chris Simon is a great player with lots of heart and plays with emotion much like Sidney Crosby. I think he should not be banned for more than a game. All the haters are just jelous that they dont have a leader like Chris Simon who has the guts to take things into his own hands. If anyone should be kicked out of this league its that dirty whiner Sidney Crosby did you see him push Whitt back last night and he didnt even get a penalty?


Wow.
Some people shouldn't be allowed access to a keyboard.

................................................................................

Apparently the Penguins called a players-only meeting after their win against the Isles. [ Trib ]
Word is they were unhappy about the last five minutes of the game.

"One player said there was a lot of yelling."

"Veteran defenseman Darryl Sydor was not that player and would not divulge details of the meeting. However, he indicated the players were displeased about allowing the Islanders at least five prime scoring chances on a five-minute Penguins power play towards the end of the game."

Reason #127 why we could not make it in the NHL:
The thought of someone like Gary Roberts yelling at us.

Scary

.....................................

:: Some dude from Greensburg, PA, did a whole huge thing about the notion of morbidly obese goalies in the NHL. [ WSJ.com ]
And apparently he was on FSN with Stan the man one night.

:: Following 9-5 and 9-6 scores during the past week, should the NHL review the tapes of those games in order to implement goal-producing changes to the game? [ Globe Sports ]

:: Sun Media has been busy for the last couple of weeks, polling NHL players, coaches, scouts, and media personalities to get an extensive list of "Best BLANK in the NHL." [ Ottawa Sun ]
Some interesting results. Read that if you're bored.

:: Does the current puck in the NHL need changed? [ The Star ] via [ Kukla's Korner ]

Leafs player Matt Stajan put it perfectly.
"I don't know if there's anything you can do to improve it," Stajan said. "It is what it is."

........................................................

ESPNblog

Another article about ESPN and the NHL. [ SI.com ]


Oh, we long for that.

If anyone else out there is a "put SportsCenter on in the background while you're on the internet" type of person, you may have noticed that John Buccigross and Linda Cohn, ESPN's two biggest hockey-loving anchors, have been doing a lot of SC's lately, which have been flooded with NHL highlights, Barry Melrose segments, and "now we go to highlights of the best sport in the world" introductions to said highlights.

Test run of ratings?

........................................................



We all know Recchi made his Atlanta debut against Boston this past week.

[ Fanhouse ] found this interesting video involving those New England Bruins.



You knew Chris Chelios was good for something.
He's been in the NHL since that inaugural game between the pilgrims and native Americans.

So, with the recent release of The Mitchell Report in MLB, who better to answer questions about the prevalence of performance-enhancers in the NHL? [ Fanhouse ]

However, as Fanhouse points out, steroids are used to increase the rate of rehabilitation in terms of injuries, and hockey players are always dealing with some kind of injury, so it may not be totally out of question that there's some stuff going on.


Jim Kelley puts Mark Recchi in his place. [ Sportsnet.ca ]


After writing the article, he choked in a big game.


The Coyotes sent out their Christmas Card.
And they had to photoshop Ilya Bryzgalov's head on David Aebischer's body. [ AZ Central ]


We're later than your girlfriend on this news, but Mike Richards in Philly signed a 12-year, $69 million deal.
Somehow, the stupidity of Kevin Lowe came with Jason Smith from Edmonton, and then managed to float up into the Flyers front office.

This article, which is a marathon 5-pager, talks about how the NHL has gone back to pre-lockout salaries. [ Boston Globe ]

The Boston Globe sucks.

...........................................

WINTER CLASSIC


We are 15 days away.
It's sneaking up on us.

Here is the most in-depth explanation of how the field and rink will be prepared.
Very solid read. [ The Buffalo News ]

“We will be working 24 hours a day, from midnight of the 23rd until probably the night of the 30th,” Craig said. That afternoon and evening, the coolant begins filling pipes that can handle 1,200 gallons of coolant per minute.

Overnight on the 26th, workers begin freezing the sand, a process that takes 10 to 12 hours. “The sand becomes a huge ice cube, as solid as concrete,” Craig said.

God bless.

The NHL also has plans for intermission entertainment, as well as Canadian and American anthems and flyovers for the pregame.


If it was up to us, we would have a legends game.

Mario Lemieux vs Pat Lafontaine

Do it.


:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Winter Classic II?

There are some musings going around in the Flyers organization that they are interested in a Battle of Pennsylvania Ice Bowl game to be held at Beaver Stadium in Happy Valley against the Pens. [ Philly Burbs ]

The 100,000-seat stadium would sell out in no time at all.
But how would that make the NHL look if the Pens were involved in two straight outdoor games?

And you know Detroit Red Wings fans would commit suicide if they're not in the next outdoor game, all 6 of them.

Oh, but wait...

The Frozen Four is guaranteed to take place in Detroit's Ford Field in 2010.
And there's talks of the Red Wings playing a game there while the rink is set up. [ Freep.com ]

What's the point of doing it if it isn't an outdoor game? Stupid.

...........................................................



PENGUINS.COM BLOG

The Penguins have two solid sales going on right now. [ Penguins.NHL.com ]





......................................................

Commercialblog

No reason for these to be posted.
But check out these safety commercials in Canada.
They are graphic, so be warned.
They sure beat the 120 JBR commercials we see every week.





...............................

Dark Knightblog


We said it this summer, and it bears repeating.
Big-time excitment about "The Dark Knight," the sequel to Batman Begins, for us.

The first theatrical trailer has been finished. It was attached to "I am Legend," which opened this weekend.

It has also been released by via the sick viral campaign being run by Warner Bros.


Huge thanks as always goes to "Jett" over at [ Batman-on-film ]

................................................

And to end it all, we came across a Rembrandt in one of our attics.



Go Pens

Chris Simon = Scumbag

Thanks to [Pitt Hockey ] in Cblog





Bad news

Sabu In The City. PENS WIN.

3 - 2

[ NHL.com RECAP ]

Most casual/semi-serious Pens fans will check the internet and see the Pens squeaked out a win and won't think anything of it.

This is just a run-of-the-mill win on a snowy night in December.
It gets the Pens out of the basement, but it will mean more in late March.

........................................................

FIRST PERIOD

The Pens came out all business.
Two minutes, they were generating pressure.

An egregious giveaway by the Islanders, Ricky D vomits all over himself.
Sid throws it into a wide-open net.

1-0.

And after a couple more minutes of being in the Isles zone, they score again.
Whitney's shot finds its way through traffic. Cheap goal.

2-0.

After that goal, the Pens had a power play, but didn't do anything.
Malkin made an unreal play to keep it alive early.

The rest of the period consisted of the Pens keeping the Islanders out to the perimeter and Sabu making routine saves.

During a delayed penalty call, Roberts jobs Andy Sutton behind the net.
Sutton takes exception, and douches Roberts in the mouth.

Roberts and Sutton throw down.
Sutton got a couple in on Roberts early, but in the end it was Roberts throwing a couple and eventually getting the takedown. He pins Sutton on a quick 1-2-3 count.

Comcast just couldn't handle the fight, as the game's feed goes nuts.

[thanks to Phprock for the capture]

But if you would've listen to Beyonce Knowles and upgraded to DirecTv, you would have watched the rest of the meaningless action in the first period with no problem.

Sykora gets Mike Comrie up in the face with his stick.
The Pens killed most off most of that to end the first.

.............................................................

SECOND PERIOD

They killed off the rest of that Sykora penalty to start the second.

Not long after, Scuderi gets blasted in the leg with a shot.
The rest of that shift consisted of everyone watching Scuderi the entire shift.
He gets hit with the puck again, and then takes a penalty.

He heads to the locker room rather than the box.
He was out for the game.

The Isles took advantage when former Pen Richard Park puts in some trash.

2-1.

Bill Guerin (13) is intense.
Look at him. He loves men.

And then it didn't take long for the Islanders to tie it up.
You could feel it.
They get a 2-on-1 and Vasicek scores. 2-2.

Yet another 2-goal lead blown.

Later, Sid got pulled down as he was streaking to the net, so the Pens get a golden chance to grab the lead back.
Another power play went to the wayside.

After a skirmish around the Islanders net, the Pens somehow ended up with another power play.

They finally capitalized on one.
Staal takes care of business and gets to the net.
JFK was there to Ouellet it in.

3-2.

Nice play by Staal to set it up.

And then the Pens were on the power play again when another Islander pulled down Sid.
Nothin' doin'.

All of a sudden, it was the second intermission.

...............................................

THIRD PERIOD

No penalties in the first half of the third.
No big scoring chances.
No controversy.
New Pen Jesse James got welcomed to the NHL.

The Islanders started picking up their play with 10:00 left when they realized they were still down a goal.

And then we got a penalty and controversy on the same play.

Chris Simon is simply an idiot. A moron.
He was the guy who tried to take a player's head off last season.
He tries to cut Jarkko Ruutu's foot off with his skate.

Simon gets a 5-minute penalty for intent to injure since there isn't a penalty in the rule book for stomping.

There was just under 6 minutes left when Simon went off, so the Pens were looking pretty sharp.
What ensued was the scariest power play of our lifetime.

The shorthanded Islanders even somehow managed to spring Mike Sillinger on a breakaway, but he missed the net. What a mistake.

Thank God Sabu didn't mentally leave the game when the Pens got that 5-minute gift.

With 50 seconds left, the Pens all of a sudden found themselves short a man when the Isles pulled DiPietro.

The Isles couldn't do anything before Father Time gave them a DDT.
Sabu leg-dropped them from the top rope.

Game.

STATS

• JFK: 1 G, 2 A
• Staal: 1 A
• Jesse James: Treated like a ragdoll.
• Sabu: Gets the job done.
  

MISCELLANEOUS

• Jesse James is another right-handed forward. Good.
• You forgot the Pens were down to five defensemen.
• If Sillinger scores on that breakaway, we shut down the blog.
• Letang is a beast. He can dish out a good check.
• Sydor has been playing well.
• Chris Simon should be kicked out of hockey. Terrible.
• MSG tuesday night.
  

GameDay (32) -- Pens @ Islanders

7:00



The Isles and Pens are making out in the basement right now.
Not good times at all.

Huge snowstorm blowing through the New York/New Jersey area.
Whatever that means.

We remember Al Arbour from the last time in New York.

Reports are that Mike Bossy is starting center for tonight's game.

The Rocket: The Legend of Rocket Richard

We were contacted recently about doing a review for a movie that has recently been released on DVD in the United States.

The winner of, ironically, 9 Canadian Academy Awards...

...............................................................................

First and foremost, if you're not a hockey fan, you won't like this movie, let alone watch it.
However, if you're a fan of life and a fan of captivating cinema, this is the movie to watch.

We were going to rate this movie using a 1 through 4 stars rating.
20 minutes into this film, we came to the realization that there are not enough stars in the galaxy to rate the dominance of this celluloid spectacular.

Actor Roy Dupuis turns in the performance of his career.
Maurice Richard being Maurice Richard was tough.
Being the actor playing Maurice Richard is more pressure than any of us will ever feel.

In a move that Quentin Tarantino's dreams dream about, the movie starts off by putting you right into the mix of the controversy that took place at Le Forum de Montreal on March 13, 1955. [ Wiki ]

It then starts the traditional cinematic plot process, as you go on a trip through Richard's teenage years, then through his trials and tribulations as a rising hockey star.

The movie pulls off the rare feat of dominating your eyes without really having an antagonist in the film, although it can be argued that Richard's inner-self and his rise of a reluctant French-speaking hockey star in an English-speaking world brings more adversity to the table than anything you'll find in movies coming from southern California.

Whoever was in charge of this film was in the zone while in the editing room.

They have sporadic scenes on the streets of Montreal that are in black-and-white,
reminding you that we're talking about mid-20th century life.

We also get to see a cool scene of when Montreal wins the Stanley Cup.
The Cup is only that, a cup. Someone mistakes it as a dish.
Little moments like this are what movies are all about.

A subtle touch in the film is showing Richard's shoe stepping on a loose board while opening the door to the home in his early career, showing the poor life Richard led while also depicting the weight of being a hockey superstar weighing down on Richard's shoulders.

A downfall in this film was during the actual hockey scenes,
where goalies seemed like they were purposely giving up goals.
But we digress, since that is a staple in every hockey movie ever made, and the movie is about Richard scoring goals, not goalies making saves.

Another downfall is Sean Avery.
Although he has some acting skill, Avery, who acts every day as a NHL player, has the charisma of a 4th-grade art teacher.
He brings the film down as a 4-minute foe of The Rocket.


Richard is all business.

The hockey scenes survive, though, by totally transcending time and space, and being able to take you to a 1950's Le Forum de Montreal atmosphere without you batting an eye.

Some sports movies cannot seem to balance sports-action scenes with scenes concerning off-the-ice life, but this film pulls it off with ease.


IN THE ZONE

In final, we have to say that this film will never get the respect it rightfully deserves.
No one born after 1955 can grasp how much of a legend Richard was, and how much he changed life and the world.

...................................................................................

We also wanted to take the opportunity to direct you to a review of this film
that was written by a man who gave it no chance.

Ronnie Sheib from [ Variety.com ]

"...steadfast wife Lucille (Julie LeBreton) alternates between two stereotypical emotions: pride for Richard's accomplishments and fear for his safety."

Yeah, man, those are human emotions.
Is she supposed to be apathetic towards everything?
What a stupid statement.
Since the movie is about her HUSBAND, she is there to push the story along.
They're not gonna have a scene where she's telling one of her friends that she likes to play Bingo, because it's irrelevant.

"Ken Scott's overdetermined script permits no event, no emotion, no moment not absolutely essential to his straight-ahead narrative, as every character displays one trait that will slot him or her into a preordained role."

Sorry, dude. It's a movie.
You watch movies for a living, so you've already lost yourself in self-adulation about what you think a movie should be.

-- Everyone on Earth knows if a single line of dialog or a scene does not progress the movie's plot or develop a character, then the movie should not be heralded for its narrative feel.

You say each character displays one trait, while telling us just a paragraph before that Richard's wife exhibits TWO emotions.

The traits slot them into a preordained role?
Yeah, that's what a screenplay script does sometimes.

"Tech credits are pro, though Michel Cusson's swelling [ music ] score skirts parody."

What? We're in 2007.
Everything you listen to these days will somehow be influenced by earlier works or try to capture what someone felt when hearing a certain piece.
That "parody" happens in every genre.

"When everyone but gruff, hardline Montreal Canadiens coach Dick Irvin (an excellent Stephen McHattie) doubts Richard's stamina, Richard spectacularly proves them wrong."

We agree that Stephen McHattie played the role with the brass of a riverboat gambler.


He ran the money-counterfeiting scheme in Beverly Hills Cop III.

But the fact that this critic does not make any mention of Ed Harris being a perfect fit for the role gives no credence to anything he has to say.

And finally, the movie is based on actual events and stays true to history.
Not a lot of wiggle room to put a mobster in there who wants Richard to throw a game or something just to spice the story up.

===================

We're not here to throw anyone under the bus for just simply making a movie.
It's a movie. It's entertainment. Enjoy it.
It's definitely not a waste of time on idle Tuesday afternoon.

Stay The Course. PENS LOSE.

4 - 1

[ NHL.com RECAP ]

The old saying goes,
"Mama said there'd be days like these."

Well your Mom is a joke.

Tough times.
Could be worse.

Bring on the Isles.

............................................................

FIRST PERIOD

It felt like a typical Pens home game early on.
The puck hitting the boards behind the net echoes for 10 seconds.

Malkin got tripped up in the near corner early.
No penalty.
Gonna be a long night.

The puck was heading through the neutral zone when all of a sudden, it's Georges Larauqet Richard facing off against McGratton.

For the 20th time since Ruutu joined the Pens, Staggy mistook him for Crosby.
He sometimes mistakes Armstrong for Crosby, even though Armstrong is right-handed.

The Pens had a solid chance early on, but Gerber robbed Sykora.

The Pens later got two solid chances on the power play.
They generated some business on the first one, but were relegated to looking like skating turds on the second one.

A big deal during the first was the Pens keeping the Senators out to the perimeter, as if Sabourin was a woman making advances on them.

Bing and Colby had a solid 2-on-1 chance late, but Chris Phillips knew what was going on.

.............................................................

SECOND PERIOD

5 minutes into the second, and there was still no sign a fan-initiated LET'S GO PENS chant.
Student Rush is sorely missed.

After some jobbin back and forth, Sid comes out of nowhere with a breakaway.

66 buries it.
You honestly don't have that "he's gonna bury it" feeling you had when Lemieux was on a breakaway.

Scoods gets boobed with a high stick, and the Pens hit the power play again.

Sid got hit with a Gonchar blast, and "high ankle sprain" goes through your head.
But it looked worse, as it hit is oft-injured foot.

The rest of the power play wilted away.

And thankfully, Sid was out there on his next scheduled shift. Nice.

And then finally it happens.
Malkin makes an unreal move on Lee Malvo at the blue line, and gets a shot off as JFK drove to the net.

1-0.

There wasn't a lot of time to touch yourself over the lead, because Dany Heatley drives a puck past Sabu. 1-1.

Sid went off late for high-sticking, and the Pens killed a bulk of the penalty before the period reached its demise.

.........................................................

During intermission,
Senator Pensblog Charlie organized a report of gay NHL players.
Unfortunately the only players on the list were from Ottawa.

Charlie nixed the effort after seeing a teenage boy with his shirt off.


"Had to. LOL"

..............................

THIRD PERIOD

The Pens kill off Sid's penalty.
Bing jumps out of the box and gets an 80% breakaway.
Uh...

WTF dude

Gonchar goes off for hooking later, but during the delayed call, Heatley jobs Sid from touching the puck, but nothing was called.
Good times.

We bash Ottawa a lot, but their power play is a big deal.

It looked like Eaton may have possibly made another goal-saving play, but it was mootblog.
Spezza picked up the trash from an Orange Sherbert shot from the point.

2-1.

Heatley should have been in the box.

Kennedy had a solid chance in the slot later on, but he made more moves than Vladimir Kramnik and just couldn't put it home. Google it.

Tyler Kennedy Experiment gets some big confidence from Lord Therrien by being on Sid's line with Father Time lurking.

Off of a faceoff, Sykora slams Mesjokos from behind.

Always welcomed by a Senator player.

Unfortunately, it happened on an ice rink.
And it meant Sykora was going to the box.
Therrien throws up on the bench.

Oh no. Heatley again.

3-1.

And with that goal, Father Time makes his presence and his balls known.
The next eight minutes are pointless.

But hold on.
Roberts makes probably the best play of the season by setting up Staal up front, but Gerber was insane.

The puck ends up out at the point.
And Gonchar gives the perfect example of the double-edged sword.
He tries to press and keep the puck in while the Pens are trying valiantly to get some goals.
But it gets past him, and the Senators get a 3-on-1 which is routinely broken up by Eaton.
If Gonchar retreats on that play, he's a joke. And he's a joke if the puck gets past him.
Gonchar haters would have loved the Sens to score there.

The Pens can't get anything going.
They end up pulling Sabu later. Didn't matter.

The microphone in the net picking up the puck hitting the back of the net when an opposing team scores an empty-netter is a huge kick in the sac.

Game.

STATS

• Bing: Stunned
• Malkin: Showed up. 1 A
• TK: 1 G
• Sabu: 3 GA, 2 shorthanded. Make of it as you will.

MISCELLANEOUS

• Heatley is a force.
• Ray Emery better sell his house in Ottawa.
• Pens came to play. Sid has to score on one of those chances.
  
• Sykora penalty was a killer.
• Ottawa is at the top of the Eastern Conference.
• Look on the bright side: 2 Atlantic Division games loom.
  

.........................................................

BGL -- Rico Fatastic
Sens -- Wilsmith

GameDay (31) -- Senators @ Pens

7:30



Even after they lost 6 straight, they still have huge balls.

They have 41 points, tops in the Eastern Conference.
They played the second-place Eastern team Wednesday night -- The Hurricanes.
Ottawa - 6
Carolina - 0



Sabu is starting his reign as Penguins starting goaltender.
Of course, we want him to succeed.

Succeed = .500 - .650 winning percentage.
Right?

For a goalie who's been mired in the minors and in big-league backup roles,
if he isn't priming himself for this 2-month showcase, he shouldn't be alive.


Picture: Sens fans getting pumped up for the big game.
Sad: Every man in the crowd is staring at these guys.

Things You Can't Make Up

It has been one of those weeks.

First this whole Flyers thing.

Then tonight:


2 goals.

Good times.
It is more funny than anything.

He was still a minus 1, so eat us.



Go Pens

Afternoon Delight

The repercussions of the Pens/Flyers game pale in comparison to the news that probably ended up killing someone's cat.

MAF is out for 6-8 weeks. [ TSN ]
That translates to anywhere from 18-23 games missed.
And then factor in the 2 or 3 games after his return from an injury.


Upon hearing the news, Pens fan Ronald M. takes care of business in the backyard of his Donegal Township home.

There is no question Mark Recchi has something to do with this.

People are calling for Shero to go pick up veteran goalie Curtis Joseph.
And then what happens when MAF returns?

But it's all moot, because we just caught wind of a rumor...


In the best shape of his life.

Lost in all of this is the fact that MAF will be honorably discharged from Flashblog.

Maxime Talbot will also be out, but for only 2-4 weeks.
Which opens up yet another spot in Flashblog.

Letang, Sabu, Marty the chicken are candidates.

...........................................................................

Speaking of Recchi, he broke out the jobbin stick on Pens management. [ Trib ]
Joe Starkey went to town in that article.

Fact is, [ Shero and Therrien ] had given Recchi rope enough to stretch all the way from Mellon Arena to his hometown of Kamloops, British Columbia. That's 2,444.7 miles worth, according to MapQuest -- a service Recchi might have enlisted in hopes of finding the net.

-- Joe Starkey SLAM

"In the first seven or eight games (this season), I had a point a game until the coach decided to move me down two or three lines for whatever reason. I still haven't figured it out."

"They'll see," Recchi told the Atlanta Journal-Constitution.
"I didn't get 68 points for no reason last year."

We'll admit, Recchi has been a points producer his entire career.
He just didn't fit here anymore. Players were too fast.
He looked like Fred Flintstone trying to skate out there.

He makes his Atlanta debut Wednesday night.

........................................................................

AFTERMATH

Commentorblog shut down Google's servers today. Unreal display.

It was certainly helped by some trolls from Philadelphia.
We like confrontation, so we welcome trolls with open arms.

========================

Many of the aforementioned trolls may have come from the Philadelphia blog [ The700Level ]

Here's what some of their commentors had to say:

-- That Pensblog is a joke. Please tell me we don't have anything equally pathetic in the Philadelphia blogosphere.
And can someone explain why the Pens fans call Lupul "Palindrome"

-- Hyping up his first trip to western Canada, the writers made you think he was like the second coming to Canucks out on the plains. The Pens -- and Crosby -- sucked on that trip, by the way, but that didn't stop the writers from piling up the superlatives.

-- What a game! You guys should read the comments over at the Pensblog about our city and our fans though...absolutely vile.

Our teams are rivals, so it's in our best interest to become rivals with this blog.
There may be a wager between us and The700Level for the January 24th game.

=================

Philadelphia's take on the matters didn't end there.

[ Philadelphia Inquirer ]

He tripped up Flyers goaltender Martin Biron from behind in the third period, then hid behind teammate Georges Laraque, who took a dive into Biron's legs a few minutes later.

No mention of Roberts/Eager in that article.

[ Philadelphia Daily News ]
FIRST THING I would do if Sidney Crosby played for me is get an enforcer who doesn't finish what he started on his back.

The writer then goes to detail that every fight last night resulted in the Flyers player taking down their Penguin counterpart. Like it matters.

Then Roberts challenged Eager near the Penguins' bench and, despite finishing with very little clothing on, represented middle-age men well. He ended up on his back, of course. But for a while there, he gave that young fella all he could handle.

What? Did this guy watch the same fight?
Hopefully "all he can handle" means fists to his mouth.

.................................................................


Carter ate Whitney's lunch for him in this fight.

People made a big deal about the Whitney/Carter and Armstrong/Hartnell fights.

Carter and Hartnell had their helmets on (with visors) for the duration of both fights.
Colby spent the entire fight trying to get Hartnell's helmet off.
And, yes, Carter still did eat Whitney's lunch.

..................................................


This comes from Allison Nolan.

No offense to anyone who has sent one in already,
but we can all agree this is possibly one of the best photoshops of all time.

.............................................................................................

And here's the Tube of the fights.

Ben Eager is a Coward. PENS LOSE.

8 - 2

[ NHL.com RECAP ]

"And when Therrien's postgame session with reporters ended, Flyers knuckle-dragger Ben Eager (0 points, 60 penalty minutes), whom Therrien passed in a corridor outside the Penguins' locker room, said to him, "You're a joke."

"Therrien offered a two-word comeback, only the second half of which -- "you" -- is suitable for public consumption."
[Post Gazette ]

Our feelings exactly.
Nothing you can do about this one.

In the meantime,
the only good thing to come out of tonight's game:

***The Ben Eager/Flyers Expo has officially begun.**** Come one, come all.
Anything depicting a Flyer and or especially Ben Eager in a negative light will be accepted.
Deadline is Jan 17.
Bring the noise.

Here are some stock photos of Eager, seeing that no one knows what he looks like anyway:




What a scumbag.


................................................................

FIRST PERIOD

Therrien would have kept the trend going of putting a former player of the opposing team in the starting lineup.

Tonight was Mark Recchi's turn. Whoops.

And early on, it looks like Jason Smith's slash of Sidney Crosby late in the last Pens/Philly game was not forgotten by Malone.
Malone's a beast.

The Pens went down a minute into the game.
It was just beginning.

Palindrome goes to the net for an easy tap-in. 1-0.

The first four minutes featured the Penguins looking in complete disarray.
Palindrome put another one home with a slapper to make it 2-0.

Special thanks again to Kevin Lowe for making that trade.
Terrible.

The Pens finally sustained a forecheck with Staal and Kennedy, forcing goalie Biron to put down his roast beef sandwich.

After Sid tried a couple times to get through the Flyers, the play went the other way and Sabu had to make a huge save on a shot from the slot.

Versus interviewed the Flyers owner in the first period regarding the numerous Flyers suspensions this season.
Man, did he bomb that.

Staal and Kennedy get something going again, and it results in a Pens power play.

Cue The Whitney Play™.
Bring it home. 2-1.

And on the next play, Roberts draws a penalty.
Powerplay blog again.

Who the hell let Sykora stand alone by the post? 2-2.

The Pens survived a scare later when Sabu came out and MAF'ed it behind the net.

The Pens headed to the box late in the first.
Jordan Staal had a golden opportunity on a shorthanded breakaway, but no dice.
What a one-touch pass by Eaton. Damn it.

The first period comes to an end.

................................................................

SECOND PERIOD

The Pens kill off the rest of that penalty from the second.

Roberts got his stick up into Hartnell's piehole.
Hartnell acts like he got slashed by Jason Vorhees. What a baby.
Give Hartnell an Oscar on that one. PKblog.

Eaton makes his 31st goal-saving play of the year on the PK.
Unreal.

And then the Pens go down two men when Gonch heads to the box.
The PK goes OT.

Roberts comes flying out of the box like a midget and gets the puck out of the zone.
What a huge PK for the Pens.

And as the second period neared the halfway point, it was meltdown blog.
First, it was Mike Richards, who deflects it in off his balls. But the goal goes to Umberger. 3-2.

Then it was Umberger again two minutes later. 4-2.

The second period was jobber city after that.
And then Christensen evened up a potential power play with a punch to the back of some dude's head.

But the Flyers took another penalty, and the Pens got a chance with a 4-on-3.
Biron makes a balls-out save on Letang. What a stretch of hockey there.

They had a 5-on-4 for a while after that.
The Pens made some noise, but the Flyers survive.

And for the second time tonight, the Pens will be going into an intermission shorthanded.
But this time it was 4 minutes.
Letang punched Upshall, and then huffed and puffed and got a unsportsmanlike.

Hopefully Letang said something about Bill McCreary's mustache.
"Auditions for 'Wyatt Earp' ended a decade ago, dick."

And oof, with 9 seconds remaining, the Flyers score when Mike Knuble puts in a rebound from the slot. 5-2.

Things were messier than Mariah Carey's life.

.................................................................

THIRD PERIOD

Out of nowhere, Ty Conklin gets some action.
The Pens definitely weren't out of it going into the third.

Therrien also decided it was time to have some fun with line combinations.
Malkin-Sid-Kennedy come out for a shift.

That was about the last hockey-related thing that happened during the third period.

Off a faceoff, BGL ask Ben Eager to fight. Eager poops himself.

But then it happens, Ben Eager douches Laraque with an elbow.
Somehow Eager gets no penalty.

All we see is BGL in the box.

AND THEN BAM

The camera switches to Roberts and Eager throwing down.
We're not boxing experts, but it wasn't even close.
Eager hit air three times, while Roberts was waiting to bring a howlizter to the anus every time.

Right there is why Roberts is a man. Nothing else needs to be said.

The Flyers had a power play out of that somehow and took advantage.
Palindrome gets the HT.

6-2.

Probably the most (a)pathetic attempt at a save you will see in the NHL.

There was 15:53 left.
The Flyers were up 6-2 now, which could have meant headhunting season for the Broad Street Homos.

Gonch decides to job it out of the zone, but it goes over the glass.

A chicken crosses the road to make it 7-2.

Ty Conklin is not where it's at.

"Don't go anywhere, folks." -- Eddie Olczyk.
"Go somewhere else." -- 2005 Penguins front office.

A totally unwarranted Edzo slam.
That's what happens when it's 7-2.

After that business, there was another scrap.
Flyers go on the power play again.
But no dice.

Never fear, they were back on the powerplay.
BGL broke his stick crosschecking someone.

Keith Primeau almost scored on a Flyers 3-on-1.

And then another shot heard 'round the world.
Sid borderline trips Martin Biron behind the Flyers net. Sid loves it.
And then the Flyers fans use the assistance of the Wachovia Center organ to chant "Crosby Sucks."

He's trying to hear you, but he's too busy taking a dump in your mouth

After another scuffle with Whitney and Armstrong going to the box for fighting, the Wachovia faithful start chanting "We want Crosby."
Yeah, every NHL team does.

By this time, we just wanted to get out of Philly without any injuries.

Balls, Laraque wasn't done.
He totally jobs Martin Biron, trying to take his legs out.
He didn't even try to disguise it.
That is the definition of a job. Pure and simple.
If Biron gets injured there, BGL would have that blemish for the rest of his life.

That resulted in a Flyers power play.
Umberger made it 8-2.

Longtime Pens fan Elmo had seen enough

Finally, with more mercy than Jesus Christ, the clock went to all zeros. Gayme.

STATS

• Pens: -2 in pride
• Bing: 2 A
• [ Here's a pic link that shows the game's penalties ]
• Philly: 13 Power plays
  

MISCELLANEOUS

• We beat them up 8 times last year. This is nature evening things out.
• Lost in all the madness was Jarkko Ruutu. He wasn't a presence in the third when he should have been out there.
• Ben Eager backed down from another man. How embarassing.
  
• Probably the only game of the season when Adam Hall gets more ice time than Sidney Crosby.
• Pensblog Canaan was in attendance and said he was booed out of his section in the third period, but he left pulling at his Crosby jersey screaming Hart, Hart, Hart.
• Did anyone else get the feeling that Versus was trying to hide the antics by going to a game-break?
  
• Lord Therrien was insane after the game:

"Are we talking about the same team that got five guys suspended this year?" Therrien said. "It is a lack of respect what (Stevens) did tonight. At 7-2 you don't send your best power play on the ice. Even Daniel Briere didn't want to go on the ice. It is a lack of respect."
[Trib]

1/24
Revenge

Go Pens

GameDay (30) -- Pens @ Flyers

Wachovia Center

7:00pm



Go Pens

Ring Ding Dong, Ring-A-Ding Ding Dong

First off, no matter how shitty your life is...

at least you're not in prison.


Bogs is waiting,

.........................................................

RECCHIBLOG

-- Craig over at [ AJC Thrashers Blog ] has the lowdown on the Mark Recchi situation. Good info.

-- Also, we found this on [ Palebluescot ] via [ Fanhouse ]

Apparently, Gary Roberts can will himself into e-mails.



That is good stuff.

We are way late on this.
Big ups to "Conforto45" on [ LGP ] and Seth Money over at [ Empty Netters ] for finding the shopping video on how Gary Roberts eats.



..................................................

CROSBYBLOG

Ross McKeon at [ Yahoo ] brings us his Sidney Crosby mailbag.
It's still interesting to see what the rest of the hockey world thinks of Sid.

-- Sidney Crosby a leader? He's only wearing the C because of his name recognition. If the Penguins had any real leadership they wouldn't be hanging Marc-Andre Fleury out to dry and blaming scoring depth problems on guys who have been there like Gary Roberts and (ex-Pen) Mark Recchi. Anyone can spit out the hockey cliches, but a real leader would have stood up for what his team did to a great player this week.

-- Just want you to know that after Sidney Crosby did his little spiel at the Sportschek in Mississauga to announce the Reebok clothing line, he ditched 15 fans waiting for autographs. None of his teammates were there, there was no craziness; he just ditched us, didn't even say hi. So he's been ditching his fans long before his teammates were his excuse.


Ouch



.....................................................................


Can you entertain the notion that Vinny Lecavalier is better than Sid? [ Sportsnet.ca ]


"He is the best player in the league," Tortorella said.
"I don't care what anybody else talks about."

The arguments and debates about who is the best hockey player in the NHL is stupid.
Would we complain if we had Lecavalier?
Would Tampa complain if they had Crosby?


Last year at this time, the Blues were mud.
Not anymore. [ TSN ]

.......................................................

Eric Politowski has sent us the goal montage for games 21 - 29.



Speaking of which, we found a familiar name in the full cast of "Sudden Death." [ IMDb ]

...............................................................

On the subject of YouTube...
by now, everyone has seen the cheap play by Dominick Hasek on Marian Gaborik.

The worst thing about it: Listen to the homers on the Detroit feed.



We forgot that Detroit isn't allowed to be called for penalties.
A lot of people were concerned that fans would be mad about this play.
But then they remembered the game was in Detroit and no one goes there anymore.

...................................

Unreal [ GeoCities ] find by Matthew Nelson.

You may have to sit down for a lot of these.

Whoever this jobber is created a random list of people he hated at the time.

You must meet:

[ Yareaqueer Fagr ]

[ Whine Gretzky ]

[ Kevin Don't Believins ]

Wow.
Before it is all said and done, someone may need to start Geocitiesblog.

.....................................

Philadelphia sucks.



Go Pens

We Guarantee A Mediocre Post

PENS

Lana M. sent this one along. [ Canada.com ]
An April Fools Joke that Laraque and Armstrong pulled last season.

Crosby's Western tour was a success. [ TSN ]
"The fan crush was so huge in Edmonton Crosby was forced to stay in his hotel with two security guards outside the door."

.................................................

AFTERMATH



Script plays out to perfection. [ The Province ]

Did the shootout ruin the game? [ Canucks Corner ]
We are anxiously awaiting to see what our good friend [ Yankee Canuck ] thought about the game.

And, of course, Canucks fans were complaining about Sid getting that penalty shot in overtime.
They were also complaining about Sabu "throwing" his stick in the shootout.

.......................................................................

With the whole Recchi thing going on, it made us wonder what the hell goes on when a player goes on waivers.

We found this explanation on some message board.

In order to reassign or loan an NHL roster player to another league (e.g. AHL), the player must pass through "waivers." If a player is placed on the waiver wire, the other NHL teams have a chance to claim the player. After November 1, the priority order is determined by standings as of the time the player is placed on waivers in reverse order of percentage (PCT) of points earned to total points available for each team. Prior to November 1, the order is based on the final PCT standings from the previous regular season.

The only thing this doesn't answer is, how is the pecking order of teams who get a shot at a player on waivers handled?

Is there a global e-mail structure?
Does someone from the NHL call each team one-by-one to see if they're interested in a player?

Or do all teams interested in claiming the player submit a claim,
and if no one before them claimed the player, then the player is theirs?

......................................................................................

The Hockey News may be one of the more pessimistic entities covering the NHL.
Here they are, telling you the NHL is eroding again. [ The Hockey News ]
They churn out one of these articles every week.

...................................................

We were jobbing around and found this ad on a website.



That's friggen John Leclair.
It's almost 2008, Verizon.

......................................................................

We're working on something for Monday night.

What It's All About. PENS WIN.

2 - 1
SHOOTOUT

[ NHL.com RECAP ]

On this 82-game journey we all embark on, every so often we get to witness some special things.
Tonight, as hockey fans, was one of those instances.

If games like this don't make you appericate the game, nothing will.
Even if they wouldn't have pulled it out in OT, these are games that make us glad hockey exists.

Good times.

Buckle your balls/ovaries down for the showdown in Philly Tuesday night.

................................................

PREGAME

We see Sabu sitting in the locker room looking extremely focused.
But really, he was just killing ants with his stare.


Bring it

After awhile, you start realizing this game has more plot lines than a John Grisham book.

....................................

FIRST

For the third time during the Western Canada trip, Therrien starts a former player of that respective city on the top line.
Tonight was Ruutu's turn.

Crosby draws a penalty early with a high stick to the face.
Dennis Mitchell goes off for 4 minutes, while Vancouver fans boo for no reason at all.
It's a penalty when you hit some dude in the face with your stick. Get over it.

Dick.

On that huge early power play, the Pens couldn't get into a zone.
The Whitney Play™ looked like it was destined for the back of the net, but Whitney held the puck long enough for Luongo to do his taxes.

What a boost for Vancouver to kill that penalty.
You knew what was coming next, too.

The next time a Penguin broke wind, they would get a penalty.
Talbot goes to the box.
Crosby then decides to draw another penalty.

4-on-4 blog.

Some dude for Vancouver, Burrows, blasts Sidney towards the tail end of a play.
We understand it's hockey. We understand it's a contact sport.
But you can't give out cheap shots like that to anyone.
It's why Lemieux retired the first time.
Don't get pissed that some other dude is better than you.

The Pens killed off a Malkin penalty, then killed off an Eaton penalty. (Only Eaton's second penalty all season.)

Sabu was getting the job done.

Later, Luongo went into Sykora's house and robbed him.

What a goaltender.

FSN shows Pens backup goalie Ty Conklin on the bench.
He looks like he just finished off a Budweiser.

Just when you thought Luongo was going to shut everyone out for the rest of his life, Malkin and Sykora team up and get one past Loooooooooooooooo.

That's a gooooooaaaaaaaaaaaallllllll.
1-0.


Malkin's pass is why he is a huge deal.

............................................................................

SECOND PERIOD

The second period started with both teams just chillin.
Sabu was eating a three-course meal in his crease while the Pens took it to the Canucks for almost the entire first half of the period.

And then Roberto Luongo gets a Best Supporting Actor award when he flails about after Ryan Malone touches him.
Power play city.

Oh wait, Vancouver evens it up.
What a mistake.

It was 4 on 4 blog for two minutes as a result.
And Vancouver was all business, especially when Malkin lost his stick.
But Sabu was in the zone.
He had some unfinished business up in Vancouver.

We then saw Burrows facewashing Sid. What a pain in the anus.

As the second period hits the homestretch, Vancouver was getting closer and closer to scoring a goal.

The Pens survived a huge scare when one of the Olsen twins misses a chance in the slot.

And then Vancouver fans show that they can't watch a game without being biased.
Laraque delivers the cleanest check of the year -- in a year where people are slamming balls into the boards and getting fines and suspensions for it.
Vancouver fans boo about the Laraque hit, thinking it was dirty or something.
Jeff Cowan got destroyed. Keep your head up, moron.

Sid gets called for something on an awful call.
Another Oscar could go to whoever flew into the Pens net at Mach 3.
We know we just railed Vancouver fans for being biased, but damn it.

He can't see you.
His eyes still hurt from staring at his 2006-2007 Hart Memorial Trophy every day.
Thankfully for Canucks fans, Luongo won't lose his sight. Woooooooooooo.

As the second period ends with the Pens on the PK, Sabu makes another huge save.

............................................................

INTERMISSION

Potash interviews Jordan Staal.
The term "reach around" was said.

Potash doesn't blink, gets us to a commercial break ASAP.
Nerves of steel.

..........................................................

THIRD PERIOD

Four minutes into the third period, it finally happened.
Ryan Kesler crosbies into the Pens zone and gets one past Sabu. 1-1.

On the following shift, Ruutu almost gives the Pens the lead.
On his way back to the bench, he douches a Canuck.

Somehow, the Pens don't come out of it shorthanded.
Vancouver fans boo about it.

Christensen gets hauled down, the Pens go on the power play.
Guess who boos.
No dice on the PP.

For most of the third, Vancouver was taking it to the Pens.
They were only getting shots from the perimeter, but still.

Then it got interesting.
BGL sets up in his office.
Puck finds it way to Talbot... He sccccccoooooooooorrrrrrrrrrrrreeeeeeeeeessssssssssssssssss

Wait?
What?

"No goal" is ruled. Pens need a stoppage in play so we can get a review.
Funny thing is, no stop happens.
The teams drop acid the next five minutes, playing lights out.

The last few minutes of the third period were why we run a hockey blog.
There's no other sport in the world where so much shit happens in so little time.

Malkin rolls down with a chance...

REJECTED

Sabu makes a few more saves.
We wait for the review.

If the puck did go in, we would have to go back and play from when the goal was scored, like that Tyler Kennedy goal earlier this season.

War Room time.

No goal.

Overtime had all the makings to give someone a heart attack.
At least they got a point.

........................................................

OT

The overtime was just doing its own thing until Sid Crosby comes out of nowhere on a breakaway.
He gets tripped up, and the shootout starts early as Sid gets a penalty shot.

You couldn't make this up.

Crosby vs. Luongo. Two of the best at what they do.
Sidney on his Western Canada trip. TNT could have run a miniseries on it.
And odds are stations all over Canada broke into their respective shows to bring viewers this penalty shot.

Lord Therrien calls a timeout to ice Luongo and give Sid a breather.

Here we go.
All of Canada watching.
Pens Nation on their feet.
Sick.

Sid turns Luongo into a woman, but just couldn't lift the puck over Luongo.

What a player. What a goaltender.

An insane end to the OT brings us to another shootout.

..........................................................

SHOOTOUT

Vancouver up first.

Sabu makes a huge save.

Christensen says Luongo means nothing to him. 1-0.

Jim Morrisson up for the Canucks.

Sabu says no.

Pens up. Syko can't beat Loo.

The crowd starts to roar.
Trevor Linden = Mr. Clutch. 1-1

Sid vs Loo, Round 2.
No dice. Sid is stopped again.

Some dude for Vancouver comes down.

Post, or is that the Linden goal?
We don't know. These pics are nasty, though.

Ruutu could stun the nation, tries to make a move, but not today.

The ghost of Craig Patrick steps in.

Sabu poke check. Sick.

Malkin contemplates his life, but Luongo says no.

One of the Olsen Twins comes up.

Not today

And look who comes out with the chance to win it...

Kris LeGAME

Unreal.

STATS

• Sabu: Solid goalie. He hasn't had to perform acrobatics, but he's still being a big deal.
• Malkin: 1A
• Sykora: 1G
• First time in team history the Pens have swept the Western Canada road trip against the Oilers, Flames, and Canucks. Imagine how it was back in the day when we'd be playing in Winnipeg Monday night.
  

MISCELLANEOUS

• Vancouver bashing aside, we can see why Vancouver still has a hockey franchise. Their fans saw one of the best games of the season. Got their money's worth, even if they didn't get their Sid's worth.
• Luongo is a pleasure to watch play goalie. Unreal performance. He would be our starting goalie if the fate of the Earth came down to a hockey game.
  
• Best game of the year.
• Malkin is a beast.

........................................

And lastly...
We don't do this very often...

But from Pens nation to Steelers nation, good luck.
Keep the streak going. The Pens have won 4 straight since the Steelers last played a game.

We hate the over-exposure of the NFL, but there's one thing we hate more:
The New England Patriots.

Go Steelers.
Go Pens.

GameDay (29) -- Pens @ Canucks

10:00



Vancouver has been insane recently.
Roberto Luongo has been shutting the door on the world.

Can the Pens afford going down two goals on Vancouver?

...........................................................

First off, you look at the Thrashers logo and think a thrasher bird is intimidating.


Mistake.
It looks like something Roberts drops into the toilet bowl in the morning.

But we didn't let that stop us from doing this:


Unless you've been living in a garbage can or haven't been on the internet,
you know that Mark Recchi has been picked up by Atlanta. [ TSN ]



( Matt Betush )

It's hard to believe that this is happening. And so fast.

There we were, complaining about Mark Recchi, saying he was a detriment to the team.
And now he's an Atlanta Thrasher.

After all the harsh words, we wish Recchi nothing but the best.



...........................................................................

Mallblog


The little sports kiosk in South Hills Village Mall, across from the Apple store.
25 bones. Sick.

We also added some flavor to the Winter Classic in Flashblog.

Go Pens.

Pass It On

It's time for the Jobber of the Week Award to make another appearance.



It goes to Stephen A. Smith from ESPN. [ Deadspin ]

He recently had this to say:

"And when you look at the internet business, what's dangerous about it is that people who are clearly unqualified get to disseminate their piece to the masses. I respect the journalism industry, and the fact of the matter is ...someone with no training should not be allowed to have any kind of format whatsoever to disseminate to the masses to the level which they can. They are not trained. Not experts.

Therefore, there's a total disregard, a level of wrecklessness that ends up being a domino effect. And the people who suffer are the common viewers out there and, more importantly, those in the industry who haven't been fortunate to get a radio or television deal and only rely on the written word. And now they've been sabotaged. Not because of me. Or like me. But because of the industry or the world has allowed the average joe to resemble a professional without any credentials whatsoever."

Shut up Stephen A. Smith.

After being hijacked by newspapers with agendas since the invention of the printing press,
the public can finally...

a) bring the news to the masses on their own.
b) filter out the bullshit for themselves, rather than newspapers doing it for them.

Are journalists shitting themselves? Perhaps.

With blogging, the onus of responsibility falls on the reader, not the writer.
Despite what everyone wants us to believe, we're all smart enough to figure out what's truth and what's crap.

Suck our balls. Hard.

.........................................................................

PENS

God help us. Ty Conklin is our backup. [ PG ]


Malkin is under the radar. [ Edmonton Journal ]

Crosby talks about playing in the Vancouver 2010 Olympics. [ TSN ]
.........................................................................



Feces was hitting the fan up in Vancouver. [ TSN ]
Read it for yourself, because we may just be making this stuff up.

Since this story is really a snore, our quick synopsis is that Todd Bertuzzi testified under oath that coach Marc Crawford basically said, "Thay guy [ Moore ] must pay. DDT him."

So, now, there's all this business about whether Marc Crawford is in any way responsible for Moore's injury.

And if he is, wouldn't it constitute as a conspiracy?

........................................................

NHL is going back to pre-lockout status. [ Canada.com ]

NHL needs ESPN. [ USA Today ]

-- David Amber did another top 10 list. [ ESPN ]
He's almost done enough of these to make a top-10 list of worthless lists.

Top 10 modern rivalries.
A head-scratcher at number three:

Sidney Crosby vs. Mike Richards?



There's a mistake of a paragraph abut the "rivalry" at that ESPN link.

.................................................


Uh-oh. Start spreading the news.
Scott Niedermayer is back. [ TSN Mckenzie blog ]
The Eastern Conference does not care.
....................................

Last thing.

Only thing that is really important.

If you appreciate the game of hockey.
Appreciate this pass by Joe Thornton.


Sick
...........................................
Go Pens

Th-Th-That That Don't Kill Us. PENS WIN.

3 - 2
SHOOTOUT

[ NHL.com RECAP ]

David The Gnome once said:

"Look around you.
There are many things to see, that some would say could never be.
These things I know.
It's true, and I will tell you so.
They are there to see, if you believe."


Picture: David The Gnome, all business.

That quote might have everything to do with the Pens-Flames tonight.
Or maybe we just wanted to drop a David the Gnome reference.

Who cares.
Pens won, life is good.

..................................................

Before the game, there was a special press conference from Wilkes-Barre.



..................................................

FIRST PERIOD

For the second night in a row, Michel Therrien started another's city's prodigal son in order to get a response from the crowd.
Edmonton -- Laraque.
Calgary -- Roberts.

Not even a minute into the game, the Pens get a power play.
The Pens do nothing to write home about with that first PP.

Expect the unexpected. Two weeks ago, we would have cherished seeing Dany Sabourin in net.
But MAF has been a machine.

But he goes down 5 minutes into the first period with some right-ankle business.

Bring the pain

Early on, the Pens were controlling the play at both ends.

As the first period headed down the homestretch, the Pens weren't dictating the game as much as they did earlier in the period.
For the sake of the Pens playing consistent hockey, that stuff matters.
But the Oilers game drove home the fact that the Pens can turn into a machine at any moment.

The Pens had a solid chance late in the period, with some crazy passing, but Sykora fanned on it.

Laraque and some mistake dropped the gloves at the end of the first.
A J.B.-Robinson commercial lasts longer.

Then the worst thing that could possibly happen, does.
Alex Tanguay gets a pass from Phaneuf.
Jerome Iginla was all business in front of Sabu. 1-0.

The Flames squeak out of the first period with a momentum booster.

....................................................................

Bob Errey brought us Hockey 101 during the intermission.
It was some segment from FSN's Sports Science.

Solid idea.
No idea who the NHL enforcer was.

...................................................................

SECOND PERIOD

13 seconds in, Owen Nolan shows his veteran savvy. Not.
What a stupid penalty to take.

The power play had to get the job done, but didn't.

Whitney knocks some dude down, winning best Supporting Actor in the process.
But whatev, the Flames were due for a power play.

Gonchar saves a sure goal down deep on the PK.
Sabu stands tall as the Pens kill it off.

Phaneuf is a pain in the ass.
He goes to the box after jobbing Bing.

The Pens power play buzzed a little bit, but the Flames were shutting it down.

And then Owen Nolan goes nuts again, slashes someone.
Talk about getting your chances on the PP.

And the Pens finally capitalized.
Malkin terds out of the corner.

Top shelf. 1-1.

Jordan Staal brings out the Recchi slew-foot, but the refs catch it.
The Pens go on the PK again.

..................................

Just a reminder

Matt B.
................................................

It looked like the Pens were gonna kill it off, but the Flames got them running around.

Jarome Iginla was alone in front. 2-1.

The second period was winding down, and the Pens decided to start blocking shots.
First, Malkin blocks an Eaton shot.
And then Eaton puts his life on the line to block a shot. Unreal.

The Pens bench looks like a M*A*S*H unit as the second period ends.

...............................................................


Second period was brought to you by the chick from the JB Robinson commercials.

That face says,
"Give me diamonds. I'll have sex with another man while you work to pay off the diamonds."

...........................................................

THIRD PERIOD

Just as it happened the other night in Edmonton, the Pens started pressing more in the third period.
They started getting a couple more quality scoring chances.

The third period reached the halfway point, and the Pens were still sniffing around for the tying goal.

Finally, someone laid out Phaneuf. It was Roberts.
Too bad Roberts got his stick up into Phaneuf's mouth.

It was gut-check time for the Pens PK.

And there we go.
Malone goes nuts and has sex with himself.
He pokes it past 8 Flames and has the longest breakaway in hockey history.
The netting moves.

2-2.

Let it be said -- if Roberts doesn't take that penalty, then that Malone goal doesn't even exist.

What a player.

And later, Kipper robs Sykora on a one-timer.
And as the Flames get momentum from that big-time save, Corey Sarich goes to the box for tripping Malkin.

The Pens survive an early shorthanded scare on the PP.
The Pens PP made some things happen, but no dice.

A playoff atmosphere sweeps over the world as it goes to under 4 minutes left.

Sabu makes a couple of huge saves late in the game.
As the Flames jobbed around in the Pens zone, you couldn't help but think of how ball-breaking it would be if the Flames managed to rob us of a point.

Out of nowhere, we remember that Sidney Crosby plays for us as he tries to end the game.

66 buries that, and Vancouver would have already forfeited Saturday's game.

The Pens survive a scare at the end of the game.
And it was OT blog.

....................................................................

Gonchar made another nice play in OT breaking up a centering pass.

The OT was going at 100mph, just as it should.

The Penguins survive a huge scare late in the OT. The Flames couldn't hit the net.

Gonchar almost ended the game, too, but no dice.

Before the shootout begins, we get to see the jobbing talents of Mikka Kiprusoff.
He goes out 10 feet in front of his crease (where players will be making their moves) and roughs up the ice by shaving it back and forth.
What a jobber.

The Flames start out with a goal.
Sykora matches it.

Iginla can't do the job.
Kipper stops Sid.

Tanguay is robbed by Sabu.
Malkin couldn't finish it off.

Matt Lombardi craps himself.
And look who comes out with a chance to win it...

Kris Legame

STATS

• Bing: Overrated
• Malkin: 1 G
• Malone: 1 G
• Sabu: Solid
  

MISCELLANEOUS

• Thanks to Randy for the JBR screen cap.
  
• Our condolences go out to Northwest Division teams who have to deal with Phaneuf 8 times per season. What a beast.
• What a celebration by Therrien and Yeo.
• Letang's goal was vindication for Jesse over at [Face Off Factor.] Jesse has been telling us how unreal Letang can be. Three straight games, three huge goals.
• Just a good game to watch. Old time hockey.
• The ice did not look good.
• Much-needed day off.
• At noon on Friday, there are reports that Gary Roberts is still checking people in Calgary.
  

.....................................................

The Pens complete the sweep of [ The Battle of Alberta ] blog.

And it looks like everyone up there was sick of the Crosby hype before he even got there.
Can't blame them.

Metrognome from [ Five Hole Fanatics ] dropped by in our comments, too. Class act.

GameDay (28) -- Pens @ Flames

9:00pm



11 - 13 - 4

A lot of things happening tonight.

We get to see Mike Keenan get pissed about something.
Gary Roberts returns to Calgary.
We get to watch a Pens game in Calgary.


GameTime Forecast:

12º on the Fahrenheit scale
-11º on the Celsius scale
Cold-as-ballsº on the cold-as-balls scale

Crosby, That Is. Pittsburgh Tea. PENS WIN.

4 - 2

[ NHL.com Recap ]

Sometime after 11pm on a cold-as-balls Wednesday night,
the Pens score their third goal in five minutes.

That right there.
That's what life is about.

.....................................................

Pregame

FSN shows Crosby walking in to the building. He looks really cold.

Before we could even get to the game, FSN and Paul Steigerwald compare Kris Letang to Paul Coffey.

Wow. You just knew it could be a long night.

...................................................

FIRST PERIOD

Crosby-Laraque-Malone start it off for the Pens.
Laraque gets announced in his former home. Solid move by Therrien.

The Oilers big line comes out and almost gets one past MAF.
You immediately hate Oilers fans because they were so loud.

Sykora just misses getting one on the board, after an insane setup by Sid.

Early on, the Pens were simply driving the puck into the Oilers' mouth.
Kennedy tried one from the grassy knoll, Letang tried a floating wrister. No dice.

The Oilers got things going with a shot that shouldn't happen unless a team is on a power play.
Robert Nilsson. Cross-ice one-timer. 1-0.

Stunned

After some jobbing, Rob Scuderi heads to the box.
Edmonton's anemic power play stepped onto the ice.

During the power play, we're shown the stat about the Oilers and their injuries.
And we're reminded that Dick Tarnstrom once led the Penguins in points. [ 2003-04 Stats ]

The Pens killed that penalty off with not too much going on.

As the period wound down, Mark Eaton got his second solid look at the net in the period.
Roloson swallowed it up.

And that was it for the first period.

..............................................................

During the intermission, we get some solid video footage of the outdoor game from back in 2003.
It's gonna be cold.

..........................................................

SECOND PERIOD

The second period started with nothing going on.

And then Sidney Crosby takes out his paintbrush. Pens go on the power play.

Crosby's skate almost gets Roloson in the throat.
That would have really been a downer.

For the twentieth time of the game, the Pens set up a slapshot that Roloson stops while taking a crap.

Letang gets a shot off as the power play comes to an end -- another shot that goes straight into Roloson's balls.

It was said that the tickets for Crosby's arrival in Edmonton were going for as much as the Stanley Cup Finals tickets from a few years ago.
Well, halfway through this game, Sid had done nothing to justify any of the hype.
Then again, we're from America. We might be missing the allure of Canadians telling their grandchildren that they saw Crosby play.

And then we were trying to justify the coffee that we drank in order to stay up for this game.

...................................

Commercial

Is anyone else tired of the J.B Robinson Commercial?
Make a new one already.

Imagine the pressure a husband faces when he watches this commercial with his wife 8 times during a game.


Nice fireplace. Dick.
No one knows what "A heritage of trust" even means.

...............................................

As the second period turned into a big haze, we saw Crosby taking off the mike that someone put on him for the game.

Rob Brown joined the broadcast booth to talk about Mario Lemieux.

And then, one of the most dramatic moments in FSN history unfolded.
Rob Brown was going to re-enact the windmill celebration that caused Ron Hextall to chase after him, but he gets douched in the elbow by the broadcast equipment behind him.

And then FSN shows a replay of it.
If they could show replays of hockey action in the same manner, we'd be in business.

Why are we jobbing FSN? 'Cause there was nothing else going on.

No, wait. Just before your cat jumps out of the window with no intent of landing on its feet, something actually happens.

The Oilers are everywhere.
Shawn Horcoff beats MAF over the shoulder.

Roberts had a tough night in the photos.
It's a shame he will kill whoever took this.
2-0.

There was a play later in which MAF looked like he was gonna freeze the puck, but he never even brought his glove down to the ice.
The ref blows the play dead, though, to the chagrin of the Oiler crowd.
The ref even comes over to MAF to laugh about it.
Yeah, that's how exciting this game was to that point.

No power plays in that second period for anyone.

.............................................................

Speaking of Shawn Horcoff, he was the guy who scored a hat trick the last time the Pens and Oilers played each other.

[ ESPN Recap 01.10.06 ]

After that game, Therrien's infamous "they're soph" conference took place.

A game note from that recap:

Penguins F Ziggy Palffy has one power-play goal in 36 games

Before the third period began, FSN showed us what we've missed.



...................................................................

THIRD PERIOD

Five minutes into the third, the Penguins started buzzing.
Kennedy-Staal-Roberts got a good chance, but they couldn't get it in.

It only took the Pens 45 minutes to wake up, but it started happening.

Eaton gets yet another shot off, Malkin gets the rebound.
Roloson MAF's it into the slot.

Guess who.

2-1.

Before you can finish trying to put Talbot's goal into words so you can put it on a blog, Crosby busts into the Edmonton zone.
He gets it over to Letang. Letang buries it.

2-2.

Oil Country = Stunned.

Talbot almost scored on a shift right after that.
Someone in Edmonton might have killed themselves.

The third period reached the halfway mark. It was crunch time.
And no one comes through in crunch time like Mark Eaton.

He gets one on net. Wait...wait... wait. Did Eaton just score?

Nevermind. Colby deflects it in.

We'll take it.
3-2.

Colby wasn't done making a difference.
With 7:32 left, he draws a penalty.

Okay.
Atlantic Division teams know what the Pens are about.
The rest of the Eastern Conference has a solid idea what the Pens are about.

But these poor Western Conference teams have no idea the Whitney Play™ exists.

Gonchar slams it from the point. It hits someone's boob.
It bounces out to Sid, and Whitney was lurking.

4-2.

A 2-goal lead is a bitch, though.

The Pens play keep-away until the Oilers pull Roloson with 1:40 left.

MAF's balls are huge enough to try and score a goal into the empty net.
[ Insert your own stickhandling joke here ]

No dice. But it didn't matter.

The third period was the biggest Oil disaster since the Exxon Valdez.

Game.

STATS

• Bing: 3 A
• Colby: 1 G, 1 A
• Eaton: 2 A
• Talbot: Huge goal

MISCELLANEOUS

• Thanks to Kurt W. for helping us with the ™ and © in our posts.
• No Ruutu, no Adam Hall.
• Sykora didn't get a point tonight. But he played a great game.
• The fans got their money's worth. Right?
• Minus that Toronto game, those 5 days off look like they were spent working on defense.
• Eaton plays another game like this, and a new photoshop expo may be in order.
  
• Gonch makes the power play go 'round.
• Dustin Penner for the Oiler is a complete joke.

.....................................................

Big game coming tonight in Calgary.
The return of Roberts.


You Can't Touch a Flame When It's Red Hot. [Youtube ]

GameDay (27) -- Pens @ Oilers

We'd do some trash-talking on how bad the Oilers are.

But they have more points than the Penguins do.


Every game during Sidney's Canada tour is gonna be like a Stanley Cup Finals game.
Buckle up.

..................................................................................

On an unrelated note, we got an awesome hate mail:

Really?!?! Is that all you do... hate on entire cities? I happened across your steaming pile of a site after googling Kansas City. I must say you have shit for taste, HOCKEY IS FOR DOUCHEBAGS!! I hope your shitty Penguins do move here, hopefully they'll change the name to something a little more intimidating. Do you even know anything about KC? Oh...What's that? Your uninteresting and no one cares about douchebag hockey or talentless Kelly Clarkson? That's what I thought!

We were jobbing Kansas City relentlessly last season during the whole arena fiasco.
Good times.

It never ceases to amaze us that people can get so pissed.

Gone Baby Gone

Before we begin, let us remember our old friend Mark Recchi.
He is done as a Penguin. [Trib ]

"Recchi, 39, was placed on waivers Tuesday before the Penguins' traveled to Edmonton, where they will open a four-game road trip against the Oilers tonight."



.........................................

West Coast Trip Blog

The folks up in Edmonton are awaiting Crosby's arrival. [ Edmonton Sun ]

First he'll proceed to a special press conference at the team hotel [ Tuesday ] afternoon.
He'll also have special pre-game and post-game press conferences tomorrow as well.

It'll be the same drill in Calgary and Vancouver minus the hotel press conference to launch the closest thing there is to a royal visit in hockey in the new millennium.

-- The Pens head to Western Canada. [ Yahoo ]

.........................................................

Pensblogblog

-- The internet praises Sidney Crosby [ TSN ]

There are websites and blogspots: wheressidney.com, sidneycrosby.se, sidney-crosby.info. They're bursting with information (Crosby had an 85 per cent average in Grade 11) and worshipful images (Crosby's face put on Matt Damon's body on a "Bourne Identity" movie poster to make it "The Bourne Scorer") to go with desktop art, screensavers and contests.

We're used to being snubbed, because some sites out there refuse to recognize us as a hockey blog, which is fine by us.

Jerry Scott, the maker of the "Bourne Scorer" Photoshop = Stunned.

We contacted the Canadian Press and notified them of our lack of mention.
They said they have updated the article to the wire, whatever that means.

....................................................................

-- The new [ TSN Power Rankings ]
Pens are 19th.

-- Pens are 20th at [ Yahoo ]

-- On November 27, [ James Mirtle ] did a stats projection for this season.

He found something very interesting.

The Pens are one pace for a negative-26 change in points, second worst, only to Buffalo.
The Pens are also on pace to score 36 less goals than they scored last year.

And the kicker: The Pens are on pace to give up as many goals this year as they did last year.

So, is goaltending the problem?

...........................................



Everyone is up in arms about the BCS in college football.
Thankfully, there's a smart-ass out there who knows there is a Winter Classic on Jan. 1.
[ Eye Weekly ] via [ Kukla's Korner ]

" At least, on Jan. 1, the NHL’s televising that outdoor hockey game in Buffalo, that “Winter Classic” between the Penguins and Sabres — because, the way it stands right now, watching Syd the Kid skate through a snowstorm is looking like superior New Year’s Day entertainment than anything college football’s gonna provide. "

That typo had to have been done on purpose. No one is that stupid.

.............................................................................

AFTERMATH



Talbot putting on Sidney Crosby's gear for a gameday skate on Saturday morning garnered a lot of attention.

Some humorless people weren't so amused. [ TSN comments ]

= Harmless, but distasteful. Fooling school children is pretty cheap.

= Classless of the Pens. I like jokes too, but I don't think school children found that very funny. Anyways, I'm losing more and more respect for Sid by the day.

= That was downright foolish and classless. Not funny at all.

The best:

Maxime who? If I were a no-name player for a one-man franchise, I'l probably focus more on making my own name more popular. I'm sure he got a rush out of thinking that people were actually cheering for him, and not his false identity. What an ego-boost..

Thanks to "TC" for sending that along.

...............................................................................

A friggin' Zamboni caught fire at a rink in Aston, Pennsylvania. [ Philly.com ]


.......................................................

-- Some dude listed the top 10 smartest players in NHL history.
Lemieux is #2. [ NHL.com ]

-- What has contributed to the parity in the NHL these days?
The salary cap? An influx of wide-spread talent?

Or is there just an illusion of parity due to teams losing in OT and the shootout getting a point that they otherwise wouldn't have gotten?
[ Fanhouse ] investigates.

-- [ Fox Sports ] takes a solid look at the NHL salary cap.

..............................................................


And yet another Flyer has been suspended for a hit.
Bettman isn't happy. [ Sporting News ]

And that's not the best part.
PFC Louden Downie has been recalled from the AHL after having served his 20-game suspension for that cheap-shot on Dean McAmmond. [ TSN ]



Leafs Suck YouTube



Jamie Langenbrunner had surgery during the offseason, and he finally got onto the ice on November 14th.
The result: They've been 7-2 since then. [ Fanhouse ]


The HockeyTown debate rages further. [ Sports Illustrated ]

After submitting Philadelphia and Buffalo as candidates for the new HockeyTown,
the writer gives St. Paul, Minnesota, the distinction.

< / homer > No Pittsburgh? < / homer >


Toews has been given the "A" in Chicago. [ Sun Times ]

Check out what [Jes Golbez] found.
This was his picture of the day a few days ago.


Wow


The Blues are 8-1-1 in their last ten games.

............................................................

[ Canucks Corner ] jumped into the NHL blogging discussion:

I'm really tired of the unsupported criticism - advanced in the story by Kevin Allen - about the lack of accountability and journalistic ethics in the blogosphere. First, I think my readers hold me accountable. Every time I make a mistake, I hear about it in spades and so does everyone who reads the comments on the blog. Second, if this really is a problem, it is time to name names instead of throwing it out as a general criticism. Which post or blogger violates or has violated the ethics of hockey journalism? Who has been irresponsible? Which opinion falls outside the boundaries of fair comment? Support the criticism with some evidence or shut up about it.

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS.

..................................................

It is going to be a long next couple of days.
Nothing like watching a West Coast trip.


Go Pens

It's Wayne's World! Wayne's World! Party Time! Not. PENS WIN.

3 - 1

[NHL.com recap]

Mario Lemieux would have won that game behind the bench.

Suck it.

...............................................


[Thanks to Matt M.]

Side note:
Anthem singer Sarah Marince has now improved to 3-1.
She has rattled off three straight W's.
Jeff Jimmerson is stunned.

.........................................
Pregame


We went radio side for this game after we felt Steigy and Errey turned in a sub-par performance in Toronto.

Mike Lange and Phil Bourque were a pleasure to listen to tonight.
In the pregame, Bourque was giving his scouting report. He said someone's powerplay was "flaccid." Lange must have started cracking up, because Phil Bourque lost it on the air.
Great stuff.

...........................................

FIRST

The game starts out with some good chances.
The sum of all fears almost occurs when Dan Carcillo, former Penguin Prospect, gets a good shot on net to start the game.

MAF says no.

The game is then stopped as Wayne Gretzky wants to take a look at some boys in the stands.

Back to action, Colby Armstrong gets smoked by Keith Ballard, who was on shrooms all game.
Army got it to Sid, Bing draws a penalty.

Ballard and Army fight.
Ballard is kind of a beast.

For most of the ensuing power play, the Pens forget what's going on.

Maybe Gonchar is a little bit more important than some people think.

It would show, and show often, because the Coyotes couldn't stay out of the box.
Keith Ballard kept taking penalties.

Ilya Bryzgalov kept saying no.
You talk about goalies carrying their team, you talk about Bryzgalov tonight.

And as we all wondered how the Pens could leave empty-handed after 4 PP's in the first period, BGL goes into his office.

Seriously. An underrated passer. An underrated player.
He gets it out to Talbot with a backhand pass.

1-0.

Wayne Gretzky was stunned as the first period came to an end.

.....................................................................

SECOND

Steve Reinprecht goes to the box after tripping Sykora.
The Pens had to stop jobbing around and put another nail in.

The Pens had Letang set up for a couple blasts from the point, but the shots came off his stick like a turd from a cat.

The Pens survived a shorthanded chance by the Coyotoes, when some dude rang it off the pipe behind MAF.

And then after a couple minutes, the Pens got yet another power play.
They buzzed, but couldn't put it home.

Letang has his questionable moments, but he made some sweet passes.

Joe A.

He sets Malkin up.
Malkin embarrasses some guy.

Bryzgalov says no.

Both teams traded chances, but nothing was going on.
But then it happened.

The refs had to even the penalties up.

Jordan Staal trips one guy, and as the Penguins are trying to touch the puck, he takes another one.

Ruleblog:
If a player takes two penalties on the same play, he is charged with a four minute major.
His team will not be two men down.

The Pens kill a litte bit of it off.
Nothing going on.

........................................................

THIRD

The Pens do a good job of killing most of Jordan Staal's penalties.
But the Coyotes deserved a goal.
And they finally got one.
Shane Doan got the puck, walked down main street.

Goal
1-1.

With that goal, you could feel the vomit in your throat.

Slowly but surely, though, the Pens built some momentum.

BGL went nuts for two minutes in the shift of the year.
He was everywhere.

At one point it, looked like it just wasn't going to be possible to beat Bryzgalov at all.
As the game slipped under ten minutes, it looked like OTBLOG.

But then:

Too Many Men for the Coyotes.

What a coaching mistake.

The Pens powerplay finally knocks one home.
Crosby hits Letang on the Whitney Play ™

Stunned
2-1

The goal brought life into the Pens.
A mere four minutes later, Staal and Kennedy do a little weave.
The Kennedy Play© comes out.

[Tanner]
3-1

That goal ended the Coyotes.
They still pulled their goalie.
It looked like MAF wanted to try and shoot the puck for the empty net.
But no.

Thanks for playing, Wayne.

Game.

(How clutch is that little baby with the bottle.)

STATS

• Letang: 1G
• Kennedy: 1G
• Bing: 1A
  

MISCELLANEOUS

• We feel like jackasses for just throwing this out here, but we've noticed during the past couple games that Brooks Orpik is a sick passer. Every pass he makes is tape-to-tape.
• Ryan Whitney was bad times tonight.
• Bug Ulf is an assistanct for the Yotes. You can tell by the way they hit, they are trained well.
• Mark Recchi Bobblehead night. Ouch.

Go Pens

GameDay (26) -- Coyotes @ Pens

Remember when this was the Pens theme song back in the '90s?
Sick.

7:30



The Coyotes' balls were huge after they picked up goalie Ilya Bryzgalov.
They won 4 straight.

But now they're on a 3-game losing streak.

And we get to hear about Wayne Gretzky and Sidney Crosby all night tonight.

One Week

This post is brought to you by the Barenaked Ladies.


One Week -- how long the Barenaked Ladies mattered in the United States.

And hey, they're from Canada.

But anyway, by the time this week is through, the Pens will have passed the 1/3 mark of the season.

Four games in a week is insane.

4 losses may be catastrophic.

It will also mark Sidney Crosby's first professional appearance in western Canada.

[Jerry Scott]

It will be interesting to see how he is treated.
In Montreal, Toronto, and Ottawa he has been booed.

We found this photoshop on the Internet this week done by some Canadian jobber.
It is kinda of funny though:

ouch
....................................................

PENS

Someone in the comments wondered when was the last time the Pens won both games in a back-to-back scenario.

We have our recaps and shit archived from last season [ here ].

January 26 -- Dallas (fittingly)
January 27 -- Phoenix

March 13 -- Buffalo
March 14 -- New Jersey

Gonch is still questionable with a groin. [PG]
No word on lines tomorrow.
Whatever Michel Therrien pulls will stick.

[Gabor from Hungary]



No news on Mark Recchi. [Faceoff Factor ]

[Jerry Scott]



We thought we weren't going to get a anthem picture for Toronto.
But no dice
[Phrock] came through.



......................................................
Blogblog

We've never really said "hell yeah, we run a blog. We get hits.
Oh, and here's a picture of a chicken peeing on a monkey."

We like to write, we like to laugh.
And we have the Penguins, which is basically an endless thing to write about.
It's a perfect fit for us.

Here's a video that we found on [ Fanhouse ] that shows the rise of the hockey blogger.



That link to Fanhouse directs you to their article on the matter.

Our take on all of this:

The video says Pittsburgh is considering the blogger-box thing.

We value the fact that we're not at every game.
We miss so many things when we're at games, even when we're taking notes.

The day we say, "We talked to Sid after the game," is the day that we stop running the blog.

We don't know where this thing is going.
But the pure fact we could see the faces of Smizik, Bentz, and Molinari pissed as we time our entrance into the press box so that we go in at the same time would be priceless.

P.S. -- [ Kukla's Korner ] was mentioned in that video.

That and Fanhouse are our first stops every day.

..........................................................................

-- David Amber unleashed another top-10 list on humanity.
Top 10 players in shootouts. [ ESPN ]

Erik Jesus Christo is #3.

-- Has the extinction of the two-line-pass made the game worse?
This dude thinks so... [ Hockey News ]



.....................................................


Remember when the Ottawa Sun was thinking of doing a comparison between this year's Sens team and the Canadiens team from the '70s that only lost 8 games or something all year?

Well, now, after a 6-game losing streak,
they're about on pace to match the record of the 1991-92 Winnipeg Jets.



"That is gay"


Roberto Luongo and his shutout streak.
And the mysticism around saying "shutout" during an in-progress shutout.
Steigerwald does it every time. [ Vancouver Sun ]




Keith Tkachuk played his 1,000th game.
We usually wouldn't mention stuff like this.

But we came across a surreal Winnipeg Jets site that had an interesting factoid about Tkachuck. [ CurtisWalker.com ]

Prior to the Jets first game of the season in Hartford, Keith Tkachuk throws a temper tantrum in the visitors' dressing room after seeing his jersey without the familiar 'C' on it. Tkachuk confronts Head Coach Terry Simpson who informed him that Kris King will remain the team captain. Tkachuk storms out of the meeting and draws a 'C' in chalk on his jersey, then puts on the jersey and goes out for the warmup. The Jets go on to drop a 4-2 decision to the Whalers. Teemu Selanne has a goal and an assist for the Jets, while Tkachuk registers no points and no shots on goal. He is noticeably out of shape as the game goes on and does not see the ice in the final ten minutes of the game. Tkachuk offers only a terse 'no comment' to reporters after the game.

..............................................

Winter Classic Blog


An artist's rendering of what it's gonna look like.

Anything you want to know about the Winter Classic.
[ Buffalo News ]
SERIOUSLY...EVERYTHING YOU NEED TO KNOW.
SOLID READ.

NHL officials plan to bring in trailers for use as temporary offices on Dec. 20. They’ll start the process of installing the ice surface on the night of Dec. 23, following the Bills game against the New York Giants.

The first part of the process, after the goalposts are taken down, will be to compensate for the field’s 9-inch crown, while laying 2,300 sheets of plywood on the field.

“Then we’ll start, probably from the 24th to the 27th, running refrigeration lines and putting the boards up,” said Don Renzulli, the NHL’s senior vice president for events and entertainment.

The ice probably will be put down on Dec. 28 and the boards fully installed on Dec. 29.

Iceman, thoughts?

Bring it.

................................................................

AROUND THE ATLANTIC



.......................................

Steelerblog

Pensblog Adam stumbled into tickets for the game Sunday night against the Bengals.

Of course, cheap seats up in section 518 or something.

The atmosphere was ridiculous.
People stumbling over themselves, talking incoherently.
America's Game.

The kicker was when some dude in our section urinated off the side of the nosebleed end zone seats.
Cellphones were tucked away from the rain, so we couldn't get a shot of it.

Five minutes later, he and the guys he was with (who were laughing at his urination shenanigans) high-fived each other when the Steelers scored.
The guy was drunk and probably had piss all over his hands. Sick.

The saddest part of it all is that the poor person that the urine happened upon probably thought it was just rain.

Go Steelers
..................................................................................

[April K]

Go Pens

Panic At Guy Lafleur's Disco

The great thing about Al Gore's internet is that every so often ,you come across something that leaves you nearly speechless.

Last week when we heard Guy Lafleur jobbed the present-day Canadians, we just happened to be browsing his Wikipedia page.

Everything seemed fine.
Until one paragraph changed everything:

"In 1979, Lafleur released an album called 'Lafleur'. The album consisted of Guy Lafleur reciting hockey instructions and singing, accompanied by disco music." [ Wkipedia ]

Now, this statement left us with many questions.
We could not find any info on this.
We checked some other blogs, but still nothing.
Then it happened.

We found this site:
[ Disco Delivery]

One thing led to another.


Wow,


Yeah, you can't even make this up.

Turns out that back in 1979, people actually got together and decided to make a collaboration recor .
Guy Lafleur giving instructions on some of the finer points of hockey, set to old-school disco music.

For more info, this will help:


That says it all right there.

We looked the record up, and even discussed buying it.
But never fear.
[ Disco Delivery] has all the songs.

It is disappointing that Lafleur did not sing any disco.
Which if he did, well, let's just move on.

The pure fact that this even happened is enough.
People actually did this, and thought it would work.

Tells you how sad the late 1970's were.

Without further ado.

Here are links to some of the songs.

[Lafleur- Skating ]

wow

[Lafleur- Checking ]

It is hard to imagine the Bee-Gees being embarrassed.
But Barry Gibb reportley threw up all over himself when he heard this.

[Powerplay ]

What a song. There is no reason this song does not play when the Penguins get a powerplay.
People in charge of Gameday duties at the Mellon need to make this happen.

...............................


God help us all.


***Note apparently DVE already made fun of this, does anyone have a link to it?

We're not copying, because we don't listen to DVE.

Hockey Night in Your Mom. PENS LOSE.

4 - 2

[ NHL.com RECAP ]


Yet again, it took the Pens about 50 minutes to wake up and start playing hockey.

We're not heroin addicts.
We're not gonna relapse into the down times just because we've lost a game after winning three games.

The upcoming week will see 4 games in 7 nights.
Gretzky is coming to town.

Start changing your sleeping patterns now for the tail end of the upcoming week.

....................................................................
FIRST

Right off the bat, we see the Pens will be wearing their darks for the game tonight.
We have documented it numerous times that since the lockout, the Pens have worn the darks on the road only a handful of times. And they have mostly all been in Toronto.
The only one that wasn't was in Washington earlier this season.

And during the game, Steiggy mentioned that Toronto wears them for Hockey Night in Canada.
And then it hits you that the Pens always play in Toronto in Friday and Saturday nights.

Sabu gets the start.

Both teams came out of the gates just mehhing around.

Toronto was cycling later, and Mats Sundin hustles to a loose puck along the boards and gets it out to Mark Bell, who puts it home past a stunned Sabu. 1-0.

Bell's dad celebrated the goal with a 6-pack.

Before you can collect yourself, Sykora trips someone up and goes to the box.
The PK unit comes through.

Crosby had a nice chance later, as he pushed it to Mach 11 into the Toronto zone.
But no dice.

Christensen looked sharp while getting a stint with Malkin and Sykora.

As the first period waned, Letand and Sydor don't know what's going on.
Letang retreats into his own zone, which was almost a huge mistake.
Well, it was a huge mistake, but the Leafs didn't make him pay for it.

Just when you thought the refs weren't in Toronto's pocket, probably the worst call in history took place late in the first.

Roberts gets checked from behind and runs into some dude on the boards.
Roberts put his hands up, which made it look like a shove.
He instinctively put his arms up to protect himself.
You know a job when you see one, but that wasn't one.

But then there was a job.

We didn't catch a solid replay that conclusively showed that this Leaf was the last guy back.

But if he was, that's a penalty shot.

The dude goes to the box for being a chickenshit.

Then the next play, another Pen heads to the box.

The first period ended, and the Pens went into the first intermission like a hooker -- with a bad taste in their mouth.

........................................................
SECOND

The Leafs get the fresh sheet of ice to work on their power play.

Bell was on the doorstep, but he wasn't counting on Frank Pietrangelo quantum leaping into Sabu.
What a huge save.

But nope, didn't matter.

Because the Pens rushed up the ice later with the puck.
They lose control of the puck when Eaton can't take Malkin's tape-to-tape pass.
The Pens leave Sabu out to dry, as Toronto goes the other way on a 2-on-0.

And then they were up 2-0.

Matt Stajan goes to the box for holding up Sid.
The Pens get a big Powerplay.

They can't convert.
The Maple Leafs end their PK with their goalie making a nice save and freezing the puck.
The fans go nuts to appreciate the save and the PK.
What an underestimated momentum booster.

Steigerwald and Errey spent the better part (or worst part) of three minutes to tell everyone about the Toronto organization and their current woes.

That talk gets abrupted because Crosby gets on the ice.

And then we're all witness to something that makes us lose respect for Vesa Toskala forever.
A blatant job as Toskala trips up Crosby. Bush League.



The Pens get on the powerplay as Pens Nation dreams of Roberts plowing Toskala later on in the game.

Roberts goes to the box during the PP, but takes McCabe with him.
10 seconds on a power play without McCabe on the ice is usually money in the bank.
Banks are closed on Saturdays. The power play ends.

The game reached the halfway mark, and the Pens had barely sniffed the net.
But we've seen enough of the Pens to know that means nothing.

Jordan Staal went for a seat when hooking a Leaf in front of the net.
Time for the Pens PK to dominate.

Whoops.
Antropov parks in front of the net and makes benefit glorious nation of Kazakhstan.

3-0.

McCabe heads to the box again soon after with a holding call.
The Pens just had to score on the ensuing power play.

And yeah, they didn't.

The Leafs almost scored again, with Blake chopping at Sabu.
Orpik facewashes him, and as Blake retaliates while still being tied up, Ruutu comes in and just love-taps Blake in the face.

At least that was something comical as the game started drifting towards the third period.

.................................................

The highlight of the night up to that point was the new-to-Pensblog Peter Frampton Geico commercial.
[ Talkbox Wikipedia ]

...................................................

THIRD

The third period started with the ice still being tilted towards Sabu.

The Pens continued playing at a John Leclair pace.
But it took Sykora going to the box to wake the Pens up.

They buzz on the PK, getting numerous chances, which culminated with Toskala stopping Malone on a breakaway.

We're not professional hockey players, but deke or something.

If you don't know Hal Gill is a monster, it usually sets in somewhere during the third period.

It's amazing what one goal does.
The Pens were down 3-0. 12:00 left. Things were looking bleak.

Then the Pens crash the net, it hits something.
11:45 left. "They have plenty of time. Let's go."

But wait a tick.
They go to the War Room, which definitely wasn't a long-distance phone call.
Actually it was a direct line to Jon Ferguson's house.
Doesn't matter.

goal stands. 3-1.

Malkin and Sykora had a rush later on, but Sykora inexplicably pushes the puck to Malkin as they cross the blue line.
Malkin and Staal hump each other looking for the puck.

The Pens still continued to buzz. They were smelling blood.

The Leafs had another odd-man rush later, but Sabu keeps the Pens in the hunt while Daryl Sydor takes away most of the options.

With 4 minutes left, Father Time makes an appearance.

The Pens got a power play late.
And after some skirmishes, the Pens get a goal.

Christensen plays Plinko with Toskala's balls, and it's 3-2.

And for the first time ever, we dream of the Penguins tying this game up with the sole intent of seeing Toronto suffer, and not as much as the Penguins winning the game.

It was time for Therrien to take his timeout.

The Pens had a couple chances to tie it with Sabu pulled.
After a tussle on the boards, the Leafs get the puck.

Ponikablowjob puts it into the empty net.
Pack it up.

STATS

• Bing: 1A
• Christensen, Malone: 1 G
  

MISCELLANEOUS

• Did it look like the Pens were forcing passes all game?
• This game was frustrating. Is is still early in the season?
• Happy birthday to Dana Heinze and Ryan Malone
  

...........................................................

At the morning skate (which nearly none of the Pens in the lineup participated in), there was some cool stuff going on.

First off, there was a little-guy hockey team on the ice at some point in the practice.


-- "Hey, don't commit so quickly."
MAF: "Thanks."

That caption felt like a free-throw.


And here's Talbot, wearing all of Sid's business during the aforementioned morning skate.

-- Question --

Maxime Talbot fanatics:

We know that none of us have seen Max recently because he's been injured,
but do you recall if he was clean-shaven before he got injured?

Did he shave his facial hair just to pull off the Sid look?

Do we have lives?

GameDay ( 25 ) -- Pens @ Maple Leafs

7:00

What an arena this was.
[ Tripod Maple Leafs Garden Page ]



9 - 11 - 6

This Season:

Pens win 6-4
Pens lose 5-2

...........................................

The Leafs are a joke.
Everyone in Toronto wishes they had SARS again.

Basically every game that goes by is like the old time retirement matches in the WWF.
If the Leafs lose, Head Coach Paul Maurice and GM John Ferguson are going to have to face the music again.

All the goons will be out, it should be a very intense game.

Picture courtesy of [ *KaReN*'s Webpage ]
Pictures of Roberts in Toronto. Sick.

And an AWESOME story of Talbot pretending he was Sid at a practice in Toronto [ The Star ]
Commentor Meecrofilm dominated that.

Talbot did the impersonation to perfection. He donned Crosby's jersey, tossed on his helmet, and even took Crosby's stick out of the stick rack, before entering the ice surface at the Air Canada Centre.

The second he touched the ice, a huge ovation rose from the fans, while hundreds of cellphone and digital cameras flashed.

"Fleury is the prankster, the jokester, but it was kinda fun ... after I took the jersey off, they (fans) were wondering, who is that guy," Talbot said smiling.

It was hard, afterwards, to tell who got the bigger thrill, the fans, or Talbot.

"It felt awesome to be the best player in the world for two minutes," Talbot said.

Lights Out. Dick. PENS WIN

4 - 1

[NHL.COM]

Tonight's game proved two things.
1. The Penguins have what it takes to compete in the East.
2. We all were right about Mark Recchi. And wrong about Tyler Kennedy.

Solid Win.

...................................................


[Demondg1]

** stat of the day -- courtesy of [LGP]

Tonight's anthem singer, Sarah Marince, has now won 2 games in a row.
Might have to bring her out come Monday.
And she is hot too. [ Myspace ]

...............................................

FIRST

According to some people, the NHL was in town the past few days to work on the ice.
It did look faster and in better shape.

The Pens helped that theory by coming out flying.
They were aided by the fact that the Stars started their backup goalie Mike Smith.

Smith was anything but impressive.

20 seconds into the game.
Bing walks out of the corner.