Trick or Treat. PENS WIN.

4 - 2

[YAHOO RECAP]

These types of games are a big deal.
On the road. Tough place to play. Solid team.

Bottom line -- Evgeni Malkin and Sidney Crosby are slowly starting to take over the world.
And we are just along for the ride.

Everything always seems like it is working when you win.
Good times.

...................................................................

The big thing early on was seeing Roberts jersey flying as he entered the zone.
He's back.

Sabourin was challenged early with a routine slapper from Rolston.
Rolston's a beast.

Recchi was still with Hall and Kennedy. Solid line.
Rex was a third-liner when Carolina won the Cup a couple years ago.

Minnesota uniforms look pretty sharp.

But Tonya Harding's pads make you want to stab something, like your eyes.


WWWHHWHWHWHWWHWWHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

Later, the puck bounced around and found Koivu's stick in the slot.
Another big save early for Sabu.

Staal-Christensen-Sykora come out. That line sounds good.
Nothing happens. Christensen doesn't know what's going on.
Perhaps we are all seeing what Lord Therrien has been thinking.

Versus tells us that the players' moms joined them for some games.
There's a job there somewhere.


Halfway through the period, no one even knows this is a hockey game.
Defensive-system blog.
The Pens seem content to play a patient game.
Jacques Lemaire loves when his players touch other men as much as possible.

My Two Dads got some face time.
Roberts looks like he just killed something.

The action started to open up a bit later in the period.
Malkin looked like he was gonna get a chance, but no way.

The Wild come back and Koivu again is robbed right in front.

Recchi had a nice steal on a backcheck.

What is it with Pens games on Versus being more boring than a chicken's sac.
10 shots in the first period. Total. Both teams.

The only thing noteworthy from the first period was Malkin may have a mullet in the works.

........................................................................

SECOND

The Pens were buzzing big-time to start the second period.
Gonchar rang one off the pipe. Sounded solid. Most exciting thing that happened so far in the game.

And finally, something happens.
Ryan Malone works hard to get the puck to Bing.
Crosby gets hooked going behind the net, loses the puck.
Malkin grabs it and knows what he's gotta do.

The Minnesota Miracle man Gordan Bombay = Stunned

1-0.

Before you know it, EC listlessly gives the puck away.
Radiovowhatev unleashes a tank of a slapshot.
It hits the pipe, bounces right to some French guy.
1-1.

It was time to start hating Minnesota fans.
But hold the phone.

Ryan Malone was surreal tonight.
He gets a shot off. It looks like it's a rebound to Malkin.
Actually, upon further review, Sid kicked it over to Malkin. Sick.

Holy balls. That's another goal. 2-1.

The best part was Minnesota announcing their goal right after Malkin scored.
What a kick in the anus.
Almost as bad as losing a hockey franchise.
Oops.
Let's move on.

Just like the North Stars.
Oops.

We were finally seeing hockey. It was good.
Both goalies are playing well.
Joe Hardy makes a few big saves.

Sadly no one has recovered from this picture.
So gay.

What a dumb play by the Wild D-man after Malkin douched him with the elbow.
We lose Malkin, but we get some 4-on-4.

On the 4-on-4, Koivu gets robbed again after trying to job one off the boards.
Sabu's been eating his lunch for him all game.

Later, Hall goes to the box.
We lose the faceoff man and a PKer.

The Pens got out of the PK with only a couple scares.

That was it.
We get a nice story about Minnesota's goalie's helment.
He is all jammed up about that bridge thing. It happened in August. Whatev.

.....................................................................

THIRD

Early in the third, Sabu gets some love from the Versus announcers.

No one knows who the color guy is or where he came from.
Weirdest accent in broadcasting history. (Jschiff)

Tick-tock, third period.
Adam Hall gets jobbed off a faceoff, and it was go time with some pretty boy.
After that, the Wild were pumped.

Minnesota was pushing harder and harder.
It looked like it was just a matter of time, and then it happened.
Rolston was solid all game.
2-2.

The Pens get busy livin' after the goal.

Talbot gets stuff going and draws a penalty.
Biggest PP of the season was upcoming.

What happened next is what life is all about.
Sykora curls into a seam.
Crosby and Gonch set it up.
If you enjoy hockey, you enjoy Petr Sykora's release.
Just digusting.
Scoring this exact goal is why Shero signed him.
Shero should be on Heroes.
3-2.

Later, Roberts carries it into the zone and Recchi's it.
Sorely in need of a wristband.

The Pens kept buzzing after that.
Recchi sets up Gonchar all alone in the slot. Big save by Joe Hardy.

Is there a reason he is trying to look like John Madden

Malkin and Crosby already started doing their dance with 8:00 left.

And there it was.
In a play reminiscent of that OT goal against the Flyers in his rookie season, he gets a breakaway and buries it past Harding.

That's 4 points for Sid. Commentorblog called this points outburst. 4-2.
How wierd was it when they showed Bing's high-school coach after the goal?
Looked like a molester. He wasn't pleased at all with the goal.

Staal dominates on the PK later. Gets rammed into the boards.

The Wild were given a gift with this powerplay.
Sabu makes the save of the season for the Pens thus far.
Sprawing out and getting a piece of the puck.

Game.
Wild fans pack it up.
[ Thanks Zak for the pic. ]

The Wild lose their first home game of the season.

STATS

• Crosby: 1G, 3A
• Malkin: 2G, 1A
• Malone: 2A
• Gonchar: 2A

MISCELLANEOUS

• What a game for Malone.
• Didn't really notice Mark Recchi tonight, and he had 13:00. That's a good thing.
• Sabu comes up big on the road. He's another solid game away from getting into the flash bar.
• Who starts in Colorado?
  

PRESS CONFERENCE

Pensblog readers, esteemed members of the press, we are pleased to announce
that 500 WWGRD wristbands are now in our possession.

We'll now take your questions.


Hey, yo. When are you mailing these?

WEDNESDAY 10:00-11:00 AM


Hey, fellas. Why'd it take so long to get them delivered?

THE COMPANY WE WERE WORKING WITH DECLINED TO TELL US
THAT THE WRISTBANDS WOULD BE MANUFACTURED OVERSEAS.


Any word on Steeler wristbands?

GO TO HELL


Hey, guys. Jim Gray.
There are reports that you've been using performance-enhancing drugs to maintain the blog.

WHAT


Anything we should know about the wristbands?

YOU'LL EXPERIENCE A NUMBING SENSATION IN YOUR HAND.
NEARBY HOUSEHOLD PETS PISS THEMSELVES.


Meow


Smizik here.
You guys have no confirmation system for people who have bought wristbands.
How do we know who's getting wristbands sent to them in this batch of 500?

IF YOU SENT US SOMETHING THROUGH PayPal, WE RECEIVED IT.
SIMPLE AS THAT. TAKE IT TO THE BANK.
IF YOU GOT THE PayPal E-MAL WRONG, YOU'RE A JOKE.

IF YOU SENT MONEY IN THE MAIL, WE HAVE NO WAY TO MATCH E-MAIL ADDRESSES TO PEOPLE WHO SENT US MONEY, THEREFORE NO CONFIRMATION.

THE ORDERS WERE TAKEN FIRST COME, FIRST SERVE.

HERE IS A LIST OF PEOPLE WHO WILL BE GETTING WRISTBANDS IN THIS FIRST BATCH. [ List ]

IF THERE'S ANY CONFUSION, OR IF ANYONE THINKS THEY GOT THEIR ORDER IN EARLY AND GOT JOBBED, E-MAIL US.


Not good enough.

EAT US. WE'RE DOING WHAT WE CAN.


Smizik, you're a joke.

Guys, do you have more wristbands on the way to fill every order you've received?

YES, WE DO. THE NEXT BATCH OF WRISTBANDS IS COMING BETWEEN NOVEMBER 7th and 12th.


We've heard that before.


Can it Smizik.

Pensblog, have you set aside any wristbands for media members?

YES, WE HAVE SET ASIDE WRISTBANDS FOR MEMBERS OF FSN AND ESPN RADIO -- MEDIA FACTIONS THAT WE KNOW MENTIONED THE WRISTBANDS.


I don't want one.


Your mom does.


Who let Fedko in here?


SKKKKKKKKEEEEEOOOOORRRRESSSSS!!!!!!!!

Fedko needs jobbed. Big-time.

Guys, are you gonna have another batch ready for the playoffs?

PLAYOFFS? PLAYOFFS?! YOU WANT TO TALK PLAYOFFS?!
WE JUST HOPE WE CAN WIN A GAME.

PENSBLOG OUT.


Idiots, since this is the announcement...
can we see the wristbands?



Click to enlarge

GameDay (11) -- Pens @ Wild

7:00 Versus




PENSBLOG PRESS CONFERENCE
DURING SECOND INTERMISSION

...And Deliver Us From...

Picture: December 8, 2005
Minnesota @ Pittsburgh
One of the most pathetic performances in franchise history.

Wild 5
Pens 0

For an insane time capsule, here is ESPN's recap with highlights. [ ESPN ]

......................................................................

WWGRD UPDATE


Finally, after numerous calls to the company...



The only question now is whether or not a commercial American airplane can handle the wristbands.

The saga is coming to an end.
Thanks to everyone for your patience.

We have sent the tracking number to Snoop and Tee Jay of commentorblog so they can back up our claims.

We were starting to get kind of nervous, just as some of you probably thought we were just jobbing.
As soon as they come in, they're going right back out.

....................................................................................

PENS

-- Surprise. The Pens are inconsistent. [ NHL.com ]

Sidney Crosby, who is tied with Evgeni Malkin for the team lead in scoring with 13 points in 10 games, accused his teammates of playing too soft.

"We need to get a few more dirty goals," Crosby said. "If you look at the goals we do score, a lot of times they are right around the net. That is no fluke. You have to score like that."

Accused? Kind of strong.

-- Crosby goes back to Minnesota. [ NHL.com ]

-- Uh-oh. POWER RANKINGS. Pens are 16th. [ TSN ]

Pens have the third best powerplay at 23.2%
Not to be outdone, the PK is the best it's been in years at 83.3%

[ Empty Netters ] with the find of the week.
Jay Caufield going nuts.


................................................................................



ESPN thinks this is the NFL and decides to make sure all their columnists write a piece about cheap shots in hockey.

-- Burnside is a mistake. [ ESPN Burnside ]

-- Some guy makes a list of the top-10 dirtiest plays in NHL history. [ ESPN Some Dude ]

Number one:
Both players delivered vicious slashes and spears to one another before the incident ended with Maki clubbing Green over the head and fracturing his skull. Green needed three major operations to save his life and had a steel plate inserted in his head.

-- The Mullet speaks. [ ESPN Melrose ]

..........................................................

RBKBlog
[ Tournament of Logos ]

A fan's concept:





............................................................

Forsberg joins the Swedish national team for some tournament. [ TSN ]


Mikka Kiprusoff signs with Calgary through 2013-2014.
$5.8 million per year. [ TSN ]


Montreal is tops on their power play.
30.4%. Holy balls. [ Power Play Stats ]

Pens are third at 23.2%
Only team to score a powerplay goal in every game.


Randy Jones gets two games for the Bergeron hit. [ NHL.com ]

"There have been suggestions by some that this hit was comparable to incidents earlier this season where players received significant game suspensions for blows to the head. These comparisons and suggestions are wrong," Campbell added.


Welcome to the 21st century.
The Blackhawks are televising a home game. [ Blackhawks.NHL.com ]


Farewell to a underrated hockey player.
We hate everything that comes out of the old Capital Center.


But you got to respect some opponents.
Peter Bondra has retired from professional hockey. [ NHL.com ]
He was a thorn in our balls for many years.


Fanhouse comes through with some pictures and a walkthrough of Prudential Center. [ Fanhouse ]


Very fitting.



That Fanhouse article is a good read.
In it, we're told that there are $10 tickets in the corners of the arena.
That has road trip written all over it.

There are no weekend games for the Pens in New Jersey, so whatev.


The Rangers beat the Lightning.
Jagr is no longer pretty. And he loves you not.

You talk big-time wrestling, talk Mable's heroic run to King of the Ring in 1995.

Double J took a puck to the mouth and lost his front teeth.
As Tuesday progresses, there should be a good shot of it in highlights somewhere.

....................................................

Heroesblog

Best actor on TV.

The Haitian needs his own spin-off series.

..........................................................................

Islanders fans tailgating. [ The 2 Man Advantage ]


Would've liked to see some type of rain dance, but whatev.

...................................................................

Jimpac got a nice picture of Montreal fans stunned:


As always, we encourage everyone to take pictures at games and send them to us...
Especially pictures of the national anthems and anyone getting jobbed.



........................................................




Go Pens

Sunday Night's All Right

A couple of housekeeping measures first.

First off, we called that Ranger player Tommy Callahan,
but his name isn't Tommy.

We couldn't grasp the fact that someone out there had never seen "Tommy Boy."

And with the Buccigross thing, we weren't jobbing anyone.
We just wondered why NFL players found their way onto the NHL page.
We didn't click the link, so we don't know if it was a theme.

......................................................................................


The Blue Jackets have silently been making noise.
They are 6-3-1.
And they also had four shutouts in October -- the most in October in like 80 years.



Carolina has scored the most goals this season: 47


Ottawa has given up the least: 19


Goalie Niklas Backstrom suffered a groin injury Saturday. [ NHL.com ]
He's had a GAA of 1.98 and a .935%.
Josh Harding has also been a beast and may get the start Tuesday.

The Wild have called up a familiar name -- Nolan Schaefer.

............................................................


Amelia Earhart takes us...


Across the Atlantic


First Stop:


7 - 3 - 0

The Flyers came back to Earth a little bit, with some losses in the Sunshine State.
They did beat Boston on Saturday.

And of course the big talk was about Randy Jones' hit on Patrice Bergeron:



Clearly that is a hit from behind.
But it's nowhere near the stuff we've grown accustomed to seeing from the penises.
Bergeron should know he's gonna get hit. Brace for it.
That kind of hit happens 10 times a game. Bergeron's a joke.
McKenzie sounds off. [ TSN ]

Replace Bergeron with Malkin or Crosby, though, and Jones would be in the witness-protection program right now.



5 - 4 - 0

If we ran Islesblog, boredom would ensue.
They played only one game this week...and they didn't even show up for it.
Rod "the Bod" Brindamour and Carolina beat them 8-3.

Unreal picture.
The only good thing that ever comes from Isles home games is the pictures.
For some reason, no other teams' home games are photographed like the Isles.
[ Yahoo images ]



3 - 6 - 1

The Devils opened their brand-new arena.
Prudential Center -- known as "The Rock."
By all accounts, it looks pretty sharp.

Too bad it will be half-empty every night.

The Senators ruined the grand opening with a 4-1 victory.




3 - 6 - 1

They lost to the Pens, beat the Devils, lost to Toronto.
There's gonna be a riot.

....................................................
Pens


5 - 4 - 1

For whatever reason, there seems to be some type of "gloom and doom" attitude right now from media members and some fans.
That doesn't make sense.
First off, when you create expectations for anything, you immediately set yourself up for disappointment.
Yes, we all want the Pens to be good. But in an 82-game season, so much happens.
They have not played particularly bad, nor particularly good.
The fact that anyone would label this season thus far a disappointment would make them a huge joke.

What's the reason for not displaying disappointment in the season thus far?
How about in 2005-06 when they didn't win a game for a month.


This past week was okay.
Solid win against the Rangers. Bad loss against the Leafs.
A point salvaged from the Canadiens.
The only thing everyone agrees on is Mark Recchi being mud.

[Lloyd Jones----original concept PENBLOG JEFF]



Rumorblogs:

Big ups to link savy Gruntov at [LGP] for finding these gems.

There is a belief the Pittsburgh Penguins are talking to the Habs about prospect G Jaroslav Halak, who is with the Montreal's AHL affiliate in Hamilton. The Penguins want to strengthen their goaltending and have somebody to work with Marc-Andre Fleury. Apparently, the Habs covet Pittsburgh RW Colby Armstrong, but that asking price might be a little high for Penguins GM Ray Shero. [ Ottawa Sun ]


No, the Penguins are not actively seeking a goaltender to supplant Marc-Andre Fleury, but if the kid doesn't close some of the holes in his game, expect GM Ray Shero to take a serious run at renting veteran Olaf Kolzig if the Caps are sellers at the Feb. 26 trade deadline.
[ Larry Brooks]

Larry Brooks is a joke.
That's all we can say.
This goaltending issue will tear us all apart.

Bring her in.

Moving on.

-- We want people to call our mistakes, so we don't feel bad doing this:
In Molinari's [ PG ] recap, it says....

Crosby made it 3-2 at 8:16, completing a give-and-go with Ryan Malone, who replaced Mark Recchi on his left side at the start of the game, before throwing the puck past Price from near the left hash for his fourth goal.

Microsoft Word should add a feature to spellcheck that flags any time Malone and Crosby are mentioned in the same sentence on a scoring play.

-- Molinari on the Penguins ( Crosby, road trips, coaching ) [ PG ]

We're gonna mess up the explanation,
so here's the link to something about Lemieux's $21 million he received last week. [ Yahoo ]

Nice story about Tyler Kennedy, who we can all agree played well. [ Trib ]

And finally...

This upcoming week is going to be fun:



Minnesota finally got beat in regulation. Clearly they have been the story of the young season.
Their defense is tough.
They haven't scored a lot of goals, either.
This is the first time the Pens have gone to Minnesota since Jan 16, 2004.
They haven't won a game in Minnesota since November 10, 1992.

Another huge side story to this game:
BGL vs the Boogieman



Hopefully BGL plays.




From a pure hockey fan's perspective, this game is going to be fun.
You can't help but admire the talent of the ageless Joe Sakic.
The Avs are just nasty.

And to wrap up the week,
The Pens travel to the reservation.




More on the Penguins thus far. [ The Confluence ]

.......................................................................

Another message board for Melvin to destroy. [ Pens Underground ]

Kenny Melvin has been an assassin on every Pittsburgh sports website that has encouraged chat or commenting among people.
He's been kicked off of numerous message boards, most notably LetsGoPens, and is the sole reason why we have to moderate comments on this site.

Luckily for us, he's discovered YouTube and can now expand his empire to the rest of the world.

He's delivered a YouTube message specifically for us and LetsGoPens. [ KennyTube ]
Comedy at its finest.

The only thing better than leftovers from Pizza Hut is angering someone to the point where they make a video about their anger and jog in place while saying "suck it" repeatedly.

This video, along with the Mr. Roboto video (which reminded us of the scene in Silence of the Lambs where the guy dances in front of the mirror wearing the skin costume), has convinced us not to mess with the poor guy anymore.

Plus we all know this is all just an audition for when Melvin gets to appear on "To Catch A Predator."

Gravitas.

...........................................................................


Go Pens

Point Earned. PENS LOSE.

4 - 3

Yahoo NHL RECAP
( Yahoo lays the stats out much nicer. )


What a comeback.
People wanted Therrien fired a minute into the second.

MAF was pulled to a louder-than-anticipated cheer.
It may have been a salute to MAF trying hard, but probably not.

This game was all Montreal, all the time, until an old friend helped us out.

.............................................................

As [Pittsburgh Sports Insider] reported correctly, Mark Recchi was bumped to the fourth line for the game tonight.

Without looking at the ice-time figures, you'd think Recchi-Hall-Kennedy was the number-one line.

Regardless, a mere 14 seconds or so into the game, the Crosby line gets taken off the ice and replaced by the Hall line.
The fourth line, mismatched against the Habs' top line which was still on the ice, had to take a penalty to thwart the Habs.
Why were those lines changed?
Unless that faceoff in the Pens zone was the biggest faceoff in history and Hall had to take it.

During the penalty kill, Malone and Recchi get put on the ice.
And Recchi takes a faceoff. Wow.

A lot of people call Recchi the wreckin' ball.

Ball = Recchi
Car = Penguins Franchise
Cop = Homo

The Pens kill that power play, and the game gets going.

Later in the period, Maxime Talbot, who got douched into the boards on Thursday night, goes flying into the Habs zone and takes a vicious hit. No fear. What a player.

Next thing you know, Malone-Crosby-Malkin turn in one of the best shifts of the season.
And you would hope that means that they scored.
But actually it was the Habs who put one home.

Dandenault joins the rush and gets one past MAF.

1-0

The obnoxious Montreal fans in the section beside us stand up and sing, "Olé, Olé, Olé".
More on them later.
Looked like it was gonna be a long night.

Later in the period, Staal owns someone with an elbow and goes to the box.
Mark Eaton or Sergei Gonchar forgets what's going on, and no one boxes out.
Juicy loose puck is picked up.
Goal. 2-0. Olé Olé Olé.

Maxime Talbot went off for hooking late, and Colby made a goal-saving play on the PK.
Pens kill it.

And that was it for the first period.
The period was about as fun as blue balls, or blue ovaries.

................................................................

SECOND PERIOD

Things were looking up. Fans were pumped.
Still a lot of game left.

Never mind. Ryder scores on a vintage MAF over-the-shoulder. 3-0.
Olé Olé Olé.

Therrien had seen enough.

In comes Sabu.

Exactly one minute later, Kovalev woke the sleeping giants.
He rams Malkin into the boards well after the whistle, prompting Crosby to go nuts.

Cheap move by Kovy.
But whatev. Without this play, Montreal runs away with the game.

On the ensuing power play, Malkin gets it over to Sykora.
Goal. 3-1.
On an impulse, Pensblog Adam ran over to get a picture of the Olé Olé Olé Habs fans stunned.

All of a sudden, the Arena was in a frenzy.

Even with Sabu chillin in net, there was confidence in the building.
The confidence grew when Malkin and Crosby did each other on a give-n-go.
Crosby goal. 3-2.

After that goal, the atmosphere was insane.
It was going to nump up another notch if that toolbag would've dropped the gloves with Armstrong.
But no dice.

Crosby takes a hooking penalty later in the period, and the Pens do a remarkable job of killing it.

Towards the end of the period, Malkin gets sprung on a breakaway and nearly turns Carey Price into a woman after getting a shot off.

Malkin has been on acid all season, and it's been starting to reach another level recently.
Crosby gets swarmed every time he touches the puck, so maybe Malkin going up on the top line will be a good thing.

Sabu wasn't really challenged the rest of the period.

..........................................................................

THIRD PERIOD

Talk about a tense third period.

Gonchar took a hooking penalty, and the PK unit rose to the occasion again.

(Eric Mirchich)

Out of nowhere, the period was half-gone, and you realized the Pens still needed to tie the game up.

During a 45-second span late in the third, Ryan Whitney did his best to send the Pens packing for Minnesota with two turnovers that even made Ben Roethlisberger throw up.

But Montreal couldn't convert.

The Pens get a gift late.
A too-many-men penalty.

These pics aren't overused.
There have just been more too-many-men penalties in October than in all of last season.

The Pens carry the puck into the zone to start the PP.
No, wait. Recchi was somehow offsides.

The powerplay couldn't get things going, but the refs decide to give the Pens another one.
The Habs go to the box for slashing.

Dick

In a gutsy move after that penalty is called, Therrien pulls Sabu; giving the Pens a 6-on-3 for roughly 10 seconds, then a 6-on-4 for essentially the rest of the game.

But they didn't need the rest of the game.
Malkin, of course, finds a wide-open Whitney near the top of the circle.
He cradles it, gets an erection, and wrists it.
The next thing we saw was the red light flash on the other side of the arena -- the best sight in the world.
Tied. 3-3.

The rest of the third period was about securing the point that the Pens had definitely earned.
They do it. OT.

..............................................................

In what was probably, in some weird way, a make-up call, the refs job Malone with a hooking call.
4-on-3 PK for two minutes in OT.
If it was the Senators, you might as well roll up your Ice-Time and put on your jacket.
But these are the Canadiens.

People forgot to tell Kovalev that this isn't 2001 anymore.
Koivu-Kovy-Ryder are pretty scary, but they can't do anything.
And, again, the Pens were unreal on the PK.

Sabu looked like he belonged there.

Penalty is killed to a deafening roar from the crowd.

At the end of OT, Malkin ties a Hab up, and Gonchar takes a run at him.

Boarding isn't called often, but that was textbook boarding. What a hit.

....................................................................


SHOOTOUT

Going shooter-by-shooter in this recap would be a waste of life.
Some questionable decisions on who Therrien sent out to take the shots.
Then again, Therrien doesn't question us when we call in sick to work or decide whether to pay the heating bill late or the cable bill late.

Jesus Christ himself could have been sent out there.
It wouldn't have made a difference. Carey Price didn't care.

Sabu was in control.
He looked sharp.
It was only a matter of time.

Markov comes in...


Game.

.............................................................................

STATS

• Malkin: Two drops of acid. 3 A.
• Crosby: 1 G
• Syko: 1 G, 1 A
• MAF: Shakier than Ali.

MISCELLANEOUS

• Notice the productivity of the Recchi-Hall-Kennedy line. It felt like they were on the ice for half the game, though.
• Kennedy looked nervous early, starting looking comfortable, hitting everything.
• Decision of MAF or Sabu starting in Minnesota is a coin-flip.
• Sabu wasn't significantly challenged, but was there to make some big saves at crunch time, especially the exaggerated Mike Richter-esque glove save. It pumped up the crowd, so it was all right.
• Going into Minnesota, you're gonna need a goalie who will have to make the routine saves that will lead to a 1-0, 2-1 win. Tough call.

GameDay (10) -- Canadiens @ Pens

7:00


5 - 2 - 2
(Won three straight)

Last Meeting:
October 10th.
3-2 win over Pens.

.................................................................

It is what it is: A game in late October.

But hold the phone.

[ Pittsburgh Sports Insider ] reports:

PENS LINE COMBINATIONS
(Montreal game, October 27th)

1st Line: Malone - Crosby - Malkin

2nd Line: Christensen - Staal - Sykora

3rd Line: Ruutu - Talbot - Armstrong

4th Line: Recchi - Hall - Kennedy

The word on Gary Roberts is that he is sick.
But we all know better.
This was an article in some newspaper:



....................................................

We'll be among the Mellon faithful tonight.
Most likely the last game all season.
.........................................

Pumpkin Patchblog

We have been getting some pretty rad pumpkins:



Credit for this go to:

"Jimpac"


(by Sgq1)


(by "Go Pens")


( Matt K)
....................................................

Go Pens

Been A Long Time Comin'

We went on one of the longest hiatuses in Pensblog history.

And unbelievably, Mark Recchi got worse during that time span.

But now writers from the Pittsburgh area are echoing the sentiments that have been seen on here and especially in Commentorblog.

All that's left is for coach Therrien to see what's going on.

Therrien says he's sticking with Recchi. [ PG ]
And says Pensblog can lick his Dell's balls.

Therrien changed his lines for the Toronto game. [ PG ]
Not newsworthy anymore.

MAF back in the groove. [ Globe and Mail ]

GOOD NEWS.
TALBOT PRACTICED SATURDAY. [ Trib ]

And the Pens recalled Tyler Kennedy from WBS. [ Penguins.NHL.com ]

..................................................................................

We've been handing out Jobber of the Week Awards like it's our...job.

But if there has ever been an entity worthy of the award, it's the Toronto Maple Leafs organization.
This isn't in retaliation to them making Mellon Arena their personal litter box on Thursday.

But rather it has to do with them trying to circumvent NHL by-laws. [ TSN ]

John Tavares is the next big thing coming out of Canada.
He's 17, and will turn 18 next September 20th -- five days too late to be eligible for the 2008 draft.

But the Maple Leafs are interested in getting him signed to their AHL team.
AHL and NHL do not let anyone under the age of 18 play in either league.

Although nothing will probably come out of this,
Tavares and his agent have contacted the NHL to see if they can get him into next year's draft.

If the NHL gives him leeway to sneak into the draft,
every player who is on the September 20th bubble will demand the same privilege.

And pretty soon, you'd be able to enter the draft when you're 8.
Mats Sundin would love having 8-year-old boys around.

..........................................................

Shawn Chambers = worst hockey player in a video game of all time. [ Fanhouse ]



People pretending to be NHL players on Facebook. [ CBC ]


.........................................................................

ESPN

Terry Frei turns in the worst article in history,
saying the NHL should take a page from MLB and award home-ice in the Finals to the conference who wins the All-Star Game. [ ESPN Frei ]

Damien Cox chimes in with his opinion of the top NHL goalies [ ESPN Cox]

...Tuesday's 1-0 loss to the Penguins in which he stopped 21 of 22 shots but ended up second best to Pittsburgh's Marc-Andre Fleury was a microcosm of Lundqvist's season, and that of the Rangers.

Power Rankings are as important to society as Uncle Mike's penis.
In the October 24th edition, the Pens placed 6th. [ ESPN Rankings ]

And finally, to cement ESPN's place as jokes of the internet...


We didn't click the link.
And we don't care who Dave Grohl is.

..................................................................................................

Forget it. Danny Markov signs in Russia. [ Kukla's Korner ]


Dominick Hasek's hip turned to dust.
He's out indefinitely. [ TSN ]
Chris Osgood, apparently still alive, will be getting the nod.


Over here in the Eastern Conference, this isn't a big deal.
But the Avs have lost Jordan Leopold for two months. [ TSN ]

Ryan Smyth reacts to the news:

This will be the most overused picture on the internet.


Fight of the year thus far:



...................................................

Dump N Chase

[ Taking One For The Team ] dominates a post.


Tiffany B.


Joe Weir

...........................................................

The wildfires in California are out of control.



And, oh, man:


Thanks to BrentJohn for the info.

Can't wait to get Roberts to sign a wristband.


"Yes, excuse me. Where are the wristbands exactly?"

WristbandConnection is taking its good old time.
They are making us look like bigger jokes than we already are.

But once they get here, it will be smooth sailing.

........................................................

DISCLAIMERBLOG

THE FOLLOWING YouTube VIDEO CONTAINS POLITICAL COMMENTARY. WE DO NOT NECESSARILY SHARE THE VIEWS IN THE VIDEO.

IT IS A REAL TREAT FOR LetsGoPens VETERANS
AS WELL AS MEMBERS OF COMMENTORBLOG WHO WERE HERE OVER THE SUMMER.

THIS IS NOT POLITICALBLOG.
WE NEVER PLAY GOD WHEN WE PUBLISH COMMENTS,
BUT WE WON'T PUBLISH ANY THAT INVOLVE POLITICAL CRAP.

WITHOUT FURTHER ADO:
[ Kenny Melvin loves the Constitution ]

(Thanks to "D" for the tip"

.................................

Go Pens

Your Mom.....PENS LOSE

14-1
[NHL.com recap ]


We told you we weren't recapping this game.
And we're not.
We just have to make this post for game archives sakes.

We did not see any of the game, but looking at the highlights, it seemed like a joke.

If Mark Recchi doesn't get taken off the Powerplay and or get his ice time moved down. People need to start something. If a hostage situation ever was a good idea, now may be the time.
This can't happen anymore.


(Greg. H)


Go Pens

GameDay (9) -- Maple Leafs @ Pens

We were put on the Budweiser Hot Seat by [ Pension Plan Puppets ] in regards to tonight's game.

No recap tonight.
Go to [ TSCS ] for all your recap needs.



7:30


3 - 4 - 3

The Maple Leafs have looked like Ricki Lake with her shirt off this season.

A couple of shootout/overtime losses are the only things keeping them from playing grab-ass in the basement.

Pens games in Toronto have been wild affairs the last couple of years.

When the Maple Leafs come to the Mellon,
there are some things we can take to the bank:

1. Mats Sundin will score a goal.
2. There's gonna be more than a couple Leafs fans.

This picture captures both items, in essence.
"I" is a joke.

Bad Intentions

Besides us not knowing how to read and interpret text on other blogs,
the Rangers game Tuesday night offered nothing memorable.

We will offer a sacrifice to the altar of James Mirtle to plead for forgiveness.


As sacrifice, we offer Rico Fata.

.......................................

But there are some aftermath items.

-- Since the Rangers franchise began in 1926, the 1-0 losses to the Bruins and Penguins were the first time in franchise history they've lost back-to-back games 1-0.

Who does that research?
Who's sitting there and decides there's enough reason to go through the Rangers entire existence to see if they've lost back-to-back games 1-0?
Only for the stat to show up clandestinely on NHL.com's website?
Someone got paid to do it, or to make the computer program that did it.


Jaromir Jagr gets the distinction.

The father of offshore gambling, Steve Bodin, recently wrote a book.
4 pages of the book is dedicated to Jaromir Jagr. [ PG ]

He says Jagr was a poor gambler, who could never finish a week in the black.
To this, Jagr replies:
"Probably. I was betting on the Giants back then."

AND COMMENTORBLOG IS BURNING.
Good times.

And finally....


..........................................................

Speaking of homos...

we re-visit Capital land.




"I’m the senior writer for www.washingtoncaps.com, the official web site of the NHL’s Washington Capitals. I’m in my second decade of parenting and covering the Caps, my fifth decade of popular culture consumption and my third decade of trying to pick the left wing lock."

So, what is this about?

[ This post ]

Wake me up when the league decides to start hyping some of its other players,
and maybe even a player from a different continent.

What a bizarre sentence. If that wasn't bad enough, he went to this:

If you want to read a breathless account of this television extravaganza from someone who really tries to capture the spirit of the thing, I’d direct you to go here. Early Halloween treat indeed. That’s pretty spooky.

Of course, that link takes you to [ The Sidney Crosby Show ]
( And she has posted a little ditty of her own on the matter. )

Now, us calling someone classless is like Nancy Grace calling someone ugly.
It doesn't matter. Welcome to the internet.

The guy complains about Sid and the attention he gets.
You know what, fine. We think the attention is out of hand sometimes.

But if you're gonna bitch, then attack the NHL, Versus, whoever.

But, no, he decides to job Snoopy Jode over at The Sidney Crosby Show.
We're not jobbers for hire, but Snoop's part of the family now.



We're not really sure what to do with this guy.

He put a picture on top of his blog.

Mistake.

We aren't sure if it is actually him or not, but that doesn't matter.
If you are bored, photoshop him making out with young boys, dogs peeing on him, anything.

In the coming week, the Capitals/Penguins internet wars will move to another level.

...............................................................................

[ PG Penguins Notebook ]

Jordan Staal took a plea deal for the underage thing.
Two people in the world care. The Staal brothers aren't even those two people.

..............................................

AROUND THE NHL




Ryan Smyth got a standing ovation in his return to Edmonton.
Fanhouse points out that Smyth has jobbed the Islanders once and the Oilers twice, and that he deserves no fanfare. [ Fanhouse ]
If he was a real man like Jagr and openly came out and said he didn't want to be in his current city instead of playing mind games with his tears, he'd have our respect.


The Oilers lost the aforementioned game 4-2.
Joni Pitkanen is out for a month. [ TSN ]
And they also lost Sheldon Souray to the injured reserve. [ NHL.com ]

Edmonton is done.


The Bruins moved their game time from the evening to the afternoon last Saturday to accommodate Red Sox fans.
They'll be doing it again this upcoming Saturday. [ Bruins.NHL.com ]

We're not sure whether the Penguins ever did this to kowtow to the Steelers or Pirates.


The next big thing, David Aebischer, has been placed in the NHL purgatory.
Also known as Phoenix's minor-league team. [ TSN ]

.......................................

Some guy on Yahoo jumps on the power-rankings train.
He places the Pens at 15th. [ Yahoo ]

.............................................

NHL Rulesblog [ NHL.com ]

During the last five (5) minutes of regulation time, or at any time in overtime, when a minor penalty (or double minor penalty) is assessed to one player of Team A, and a major (or match) penalty is assessed to one player of Team B on the same stoppage of play, the three-minute (or one minute) differential shall be served immediately as a major penalty.

...........................................................................

Pointsblog




Patrick Kane is sick.
...............................................

Grammar check

TSN is the latest victim.
(Thanks Randy L)


(click to enlarge)

Can you find it?
Yeah,hwe make mistakes all the time.
But that doesn't matter.
......................................................

Go Pens

Pipe Dreams...PENS WIN

1 - 0

In the grand scheme of things, this game was just another game.
Nothing big going on.
Just a win. Nothing more, nothing less.

..........................................

Versus gets the nod tonight.
And being that the radio is unbelievably out of sync with the Versus broadcast,
we have to tune in to Joe whatever and the Great Edzo.

.................................................

We get informed early and often that there is another Staal in the game.
Thanks to everyone for the heads up.

With the Rangers in town, you know who's here:

Ol' Double J

We all remember Josef Melichar was bad. That has been established.
Remember who his defensive partner was for a while?
That's right -- Mr. Michal Rozsival.
How did we all survive that experience?

True to form, Rozsival does something stupid, and the Pens get a powerplay.

The Pens come out and it looks like they were having sex with a can of tuna.
The refusal to not take Mark Recchi off the top unit just doesn't even make sense anymore.

It becomes painfully obvious that the play-by-play dude from Versus is not going to get Evgeni Malkin's name right, which is shocking.

Jagr carries the puck up the ice.
Every Penguin fan knows whats about to happen. Fake little cut to the right, drives in...
Fleury says no. Jagr not happy.

(Josh Carpenter)

The Rangers acquired all these people, and they haven't scored a goal in like a week.
What a joke.

Brooks Orpik jobs a puck in the stands. Delay of game.

The Rangers get a power play and look even worse. Brendan Shanahan takes time off from complaining to get a shot on net. He sucks.
Some terd hits the post. Pens clean it up.

"Money can't play hockey like Sidney Crosby."
-- We jobbed that lady before.
But she's been a Pens season-ticket holder for 35 years.
She can do whatever she wants.

Tommy Callahan takes a penalty. Tom Renney's head explodes.

5'1"?
(JRY)

Pens get some OK chances on the PP.
Rangers kill it again.

At the end of the period, Ryan Malone hustles, gets dragged down.

....................................................

As if God is smiling upon us all, we see Recchi's Versus commercial.

"People asked if I was even playing this year."

No comment necessary.

..............................................................

SECOND

The Pens get a fresh sheet of ice for the powerplay.
Take it to the bank.

Crosby to Whitney. To Malkin.
The puck takes 8 minutes to get over the line, but that's a goal.

Suck it

About 2 seconds later, Jordan Staal breaks in, and some homo throws his stick at the puck.

Penalty Shot

Staal comes in and forgets that he's allowed to make a move.
Easy save.

The pens buzz around, and they draw another penalty.
During the delayed call, Gonchar boobs it over to Mark Eaton.
Eaton rares back for a slapshot.
Just imagine when he scores a goal.

The Pens chill on the ensuing powerplay. No deal.
Syko heads to the box on a blatant penalty.

Sykora comes back on. Big PK.
The Rangers start doing a post-powerplay frenzy.
Shot from the point.

That shot is blocked.

The Pens fly back on a 3-on-2, but Lundqvist is a beast.

Speaking of beasts, out of nowhere, there's 6:00 left in the second period,
and MAF has silently been the man.

Then, Edzo breaks into his usual "defending himself about getting fired" mode.
He talks about how MAF is okay and so on. Very uncomfortable times.

What an uneventful period.
Nothing going on.
The Rangers and Devils switched identities.

.......................................................

THIRD PERIOD

Seriously, there was nothing going on this entire game.
Whispers of a MAF shutout circulate.

Malkin is simply the best player on the ice tonight, no questions asked.
Orpik starts hitting everything that moves. He has been decent the last few games.

Early in the third, Hossa runs over MAF. PP.

The Powerplay is still mud. EC hits the post walking out of the corner.

Things start picking up.
The Rangers start playing hcokey, and the puck was sitting in front of a gaping net.
Mark Eaton is there.

[James Mirtle ] told you this: Scuderi has been on the ice for 89 minutes and has seen 7 goals go in. UPDATE: Scuds is 6th best

Boom

Scuderi makes a huge mistake, almost leads to a goal. MAF says no.

Scuds says: James Mirtle has been on the ice 0:00 minutes and Pensblog is a joke.

Then out of nowhere, Crosby and Rex get a 2 on 1.
Sid would rather get the assist. Pass is broken up.

Action picks up a little more.
Ryan Whitney makes a pretty sweet pass to EC.
He gets a semi-breakaway and tries to do a "dipsy do." Nope.

Things just keep going back and forth. Tight checking game.

And then, with time winding down and the Pens trying to preserve a divisional win...

Oh noooooo
Come on

Too many men. Again.

(If Mirtle is a big deal, he'll find a way to compute how many too-many-men penalties the Penguins franchise has accrued in the last five years. It has be over 250.)

The PK steps on. Renney calls a T.O.

We all know Jagr only needs 2 seconds of open ice. The Rangers move the puck well on this last powerplay.
The Pens keep it out to the perimeter.

A couple scares on shots from the point. Whatev.
MAF makes a few big saves. Pens kill it.

Game is not over yet jack. Some homo makes a sweet pass to spring Tommy Callahan.
He beats MAF, but it's post city.

Crosby and Malkin run out the clock with some running plays.

Game.
Have fun going back to NYC to people that hate you.

Most boring game in 20 years.

STATS

• Malkin: 1G
• Bing: 1A
• Whitney: 1A
• Fleury: 36 saves
  
• Your Mom: Just watching

MISCELLANEOUS

• All of a sudden, MAF has stopped 66 of 67 shots
• Orpik is starting to murder people.
• Solid defensive performance.
• Rangers are mud.
• Nothing to discuss. We refuse to spellcheck.
• These two points will be huge in early April.
• Whatev
  

GameDay (8) -- Rangers @ Pens

7:00

.....................................

MAF
Christensen in the lineup.
Laraque scratched.

........................................



We get our first look at Homez Gomez.
And Chris Drury, who will undoubtedly score a goal.


And Jaromir Jagr comes back to the Mellon again.
Some people boo him, some don't. Whatev.


Career Stats

Jagr: 622G -- 914A -- 1,536P

Lemieux: 690G -- 1,033A -- 1,723P



We'll never go poll-crazy, but some questions deserve a quick poll.

Disciples of Gary Roberts = Owned.

Hammurabi said: A job for a job.

We must apologize that our jobbing ways have resulted in karma pile-driving us all.
We expected the wristbands in early this week, but no dice.

The company failed to inform us when we placed the order that the bands were going to be manufactured overseas in Japan or China or something.

The United States couldn't handle the production.

Picture: Zo Mang Cho makes the first WWGRD wristband.
His family was killed by a Gary Roberts slapshot in 2001.

It will be a couple more days.
We already have all the envelopes addressed and are ready to go as soon as we get them in.


with us.

The Magic cards we ordered did come in, however.



.............................................................

Housekeeping

For the Flash Bar, we haven't added a preloader.
We just made the next game appear in frame 1 and told the movie to stop in frame 1.

And we will not be able to catch the entire game on Thursday against the Leafs.
It sickens us.

Snoop at the Sid Crosby Show should cure all ills with a recap.

......................................................................

Speaking of Sidney Crosby...
Here are some previews from the Sidney Crosby "Revealed" special on Versus tonight.
(Thanks to Dennis O, and Christine from Versus)




Sidney Crosby On The New NHL - video powered by Metacafe

............................................

After going three weeks between games early in the season,

it's good to see a Pens game around the corner when you wake up in the morning.

-- Momentum is building. [ PG ]

"Nobody was happy with the way we were playing, but it's not like a football team -- not like the Steelers where you lose one and it's [gloom and doom]," defenseman Brooks Orpik said yesterday. "We play 82 games."

-- We touch upon scheduling later in this post,
but the Pens play 13 games in the next 26 days.

In the comments, EmDubs said that the Pens pre-game player intros sound like the guy that narrates Scream trailers.

We meant to touch upon that after going to the Carolina game.
That intro video, coupled with fan reaction, seriously sounds like the guy is announcing the nominees at an awards show.

Says what you want. But EC is a solid team player. [ Trib ]

A few people sent this in.
The Pens volunteered for Project Bundle-up. [ Pittsburgh Penguins.com ]
No word on whether or not winter will actually come this year.


Mark Eaton looks like he isn't doing anything, but he has already blocked three shots.

...........................................................

Someone known only as the TheKoolKid e-mailed us the 1992 Cup ring.

Mission Accomplished.

...............................................


And we thought 4-day layoffs were bad.
The Sens are starting a 7-day stretch of no games. [ Fanhouse ]


The Isles are also victims of a scheduling mishap.
They play 3 games in the next 16 days. [ Newsday ]


Rick Tocchet is in limbo. [ Arizona Republic ]
We are keeping a close eye on this so that we can get ahold of him regarding 1993 Game 7.

For new people to the site, we held an argument during the offseason as to who truly scored the tying goal in the 1993 Game 7 against the Islanders. [ Tocchet or Francis ]


The Devils are actually playing hockey. [ The Hockey News ]


The St. Pete Times goes to town about players wearing visors.
As solid an article that there is on the internet. [ St. Pete Times ]


The Boulerice guy from Philly won't be eligible to play in the AHL until mid-December. [ TSN ]

Staying on the topic of the flying penises,
Peter S. sent us the recent poll that says Philadelphia is the ugliest city in America. [ Yahoo ]


Even though Rod Brind'Amour hasn't been there since 2000.

........................................................

--- We missed last week's TSN Power Rankings, and it's a good thing,
because we would have tried to DDT an entire website. The Pens were 22.

Now they're 15th. [ TSN ]

--- Some dude wrote a book about the 1987 Canada Cup.
Excerpt from the book. [ ESPN ]


Do it.

...........................................

Dennis from [ PittBlather ] was one of the earliest commentors in commentorblog.
He sends along an e-mail.

At the North Allegheny-Shaler football game two Fridays ago, Fedko made an appearance. I was able to get a good number of kids in the student section to chant "Gary Roberts." He laughed and shrugged and I said, "Fedko you love Gary Roberts" and he said, "Yeah you know it." He can't escape it...I wish I would have had a WWGRD banner made to show him.

We are crafting a peace treaty to send Fedko.
If he wears a WWGRD on the air for one week straight, the jobbings will end.

..................................................................


THE AFTERMATH 2.0

Matthew K. sends a picture of the Verizon Center scoreboard and the three stars.


...............................................

What our old friends are up to:


6 games
0G - 2A - 2P


1W - 0L - 0OT
3.70 GAA
.840 SV%

And besides that hole in your living-room wall,
there is no evidence anywhere that Joe Melichar ever played in the NHL.
No HockeyDB.com page.
No Wikipedia page.


No doubt the Haitian is involved.

COMMENTORBLOG UPDATE: He can be found under "Josef Melichar."


UPDATE: Haitian still involved somehow.

....................................

The Officeblog


Jannah Jabo ----------------- Karri A.

Photoshops like this are why we will never stop running this thing.
.........................................

Bring on the Rangers and ol' Double J.


Go Pens

Just Another Jobber Monday

Good Weekend.
Heroes tonight. Pens tomorrow.

Life is tolerable.

.............................

Question

The Flash Bar.

Is the "next game" coming up immediately, or does a game earlier in the season pop up?
A simple loading bar would remedy the annoyance.
Let us know.

..............................................................

Boys Of Winter

Someone asked us to post the link of where you can find the old-school Boys of Winter theme that was in the Roberts NHL95 video.
A few weeks ago, someone posted it on [LGP]

Here is the direct link:
[Boys of Winter ]
Just right-click on the link and select "save as."
That should work.

And it may exceed some poor soul's bandwidth.

.....................................


THE AFTERMATH

Reader Chelsea Irvin e-mailed this in:

I'm a long time reader and wanted to share a story with you that will more than likely make you pass out. I know i did experiencing it. My sister lives in Arlington VA, so I scooped the two of us some tickets to last night's game. We planned out a solid sports weekend-watching the rugby world cup Saturday afternoon, quick costume change, then straight to the Pens game. As we were walking down the streets of Chinatown in DC celebrating a South African victory, we popped into a classy looking joint to grab a bite to eat. However, the wait was something like 40 minutes for Chinese food (honestly? we're in Chinatown..they should be turning over customers like it's their job. cause it is). As we turned to walk out of the restaurant, who walks in the door- none other than King Ray Shero. I stop in my tracks...stick out my hand and say "Hi Ray!" Without hesitation, without questioning who this random chick is, King Ray shakes my hand, and asks nonchalantly "What's up?!" I told him that I was from Pittsburgh, and that we (my sister and I) were going to the game tonight. King Ray then proceeds to look me up and down, and ask "Where's your Pens gear? Do you need something to wear for the game tonight?" In shock I opened by bag and whip out my Malkin shirt, my sister does the same. Impressed, Ray shook my hand again, opened the door for us, and said "You ladies have a great time tonight, and I'll talk to you again soon. Thanks for the support". Wow. Solid human being. Solid GM. AND a lady charmer. Needless to say, I blacked out from the excitment of it all. And then I get to go to a great game where Pittsburgh collectively took a crap on the Crapitals. This will be a weekend to remember.

I love you all.

--- There were also some nice personal stories in the game recap's comments.


The award goes to Alexander Ovechkin, but for all the right reasons.
He, along with everyone else who is alive, is tired of AO/Sid talk.
He was being cynical during an entire interview in a paper on Friday. [ Washington Times ]

Do you know who you are playing tomorrow?
"Uh ... probably Minnesota, no?"

Why does everyone ask about [you and Crosby] so much?
"Because they like us — we are cute and we have good smile."

Did you run into Crosby at any point this summer?
"Yeah, I call him every day," he said before rolling his eyes. "He's Crosby, I'm Ovechkin. I am here. He's over there. Why I have to call him in the summer and say, 'Hey, what's up buddy? What are you doing?' "

It almost makes you wish we had Ovechkin just so our star player didn't answer questions like a robot.
Almost.

Sid speaks on the "rivalry." [ PG ]

--- Our call to arms was answered, and a Capitals rally towel is en route to us.
Oh man.

Feces, fire, and YouTube will be involved.

..............................................

Speaking of calls to arms, an anonymous commentor asked for us to come through.


The 1992 ring is impossible to find.

.....................................................................


Around the Atlantic

6 - 1 - 0
(Undefeated at home)

The Flyers are lights-out right now.
But you're expected to be when you sign half the NHL in the offseason.
They had a nice week. Big wins against the Thrashers, Devils and Hurricanes.

Must be nice to play games against the Devils that aren't fixed.

Even better, Ed Snider said they would be able to get Petr Forsberg with no problem. [ Yahoo ]

The battles between the Flyers and Pens this season are going to be epic.


5 - 3 - 0

They beat Washington 5-2.
And they also beat the Devils this week.


The Devils are a joke.
( Click to enlarge )


3 - 4 - 1

The Devils were on the Atlantic tour this week.
They beat the Pens in homoblog
Then they lost to Philly and the Islanders.

They actually get to play at home this week because their new arena is ready to roll.
It's Prudential Arena.
But it's coming to be known as "The Rock," which is kinda sick.


2 - 4 - 1

They lost to Atlanta and Boston this week.
They've lost 5 of their last 6.
More on the Rangers being the Gayngers [ PG ]

And apparently a weight machine fell on Martin Straka's finger.

Also, Chris Drury was dropped to the third line at some point this past week.
We don't care enough to see what that was all about.

.....................................................


4 - 3 - 0

We're late as balls on this, but Jes Golbez owns MAF [ Fanhouse ]
Ray Shero says Bob McKenzie and his goalie rumors are on crack. [ PG ]

This week: Mellonblog

Tues. -- Rangers
Thurs. -- Maple Leafs
Sat. -- Canadiens


Down on the Farm:


The Baby Pens won Saturday night.
Letang was a healthy scratch, and by all indications, is playing like mud. [ Faceoff Factor ]
...................................................

LINKS

Nice bit on the best penalty-killers of all time. [ Greatest Hockey Legends ]
The guy alludes to Bob Johnson, so he's okay with us.


Another reason to read Fanhouse-NHL.
One of our favorite bloggers, Earl Sleek from Battle of California, joins the staff. [ Battle of California ]


Ryan Smyth returns to Edmonton this week in what will be a very emotional scene.
[ Kukla ]


Thanks to Tee for this on [WWTDD]
Mike Comrie loves his life:


Can't wait for the first Isles-Pens game.
If no one photoshops Hillary Duff, we are ending the blog.

.........................................................

AROUND THE NHL


They got swept during their Pennsylvania road trip.
And now Erik Cole gets injured playing soccer before a game. [ News Observer ]
Also in that article, it says Walker was in pain after Ruutu trained him.
And he was struggling to breathe later in the game when he collapsed.


Ray Emery makes his first start in a 4-1 win over Florida.


A very funny article about the Devils' new arena. [ Fanhouse ]
And there's even questions of whether or not the Devils will be able to fill it.
Say it ain't so.



The Wild are sick. [ NHL.com ]
7-0-1.

If you aren't excited for the Pens vs Wild October 30, go somewhere else.
BGL vs Boogieman might be the most anticipated fight in North America this year.



A cool story about the pipe organ at the United Center. [ Daily South Town ]
The dude plays for 5 minutes straight between intermissions. Beast.

Ohhhhh............and..............

Jonathan Toews brings us the play of the year that may not be beat all season.
Just digusting.



.....................................................

Tough loss for the Steelers.


(J-Schiff )

The Broncos are maybe the most annoying team in football.
Mike Shanahan is a homo. So is John Lynch.

Whatev.
................................................

Go Pens

Whiteout, Our Balls. PENS WIN.

2 - 1

[NHL.com RECAP]

It is hard to say a win in October is satisfying.

But watching the Penguins beat the Capitals in Washington never gets old.

At 8:15 Friday night, the Pens looked dead.
Now they have won two games in a row.
Things are looking better.

Good times.

We find out before the game that Erik Christensen is scratched.
Thus only confirming that Michel Therrien hates him.
We also find out that Semin is out. Which immediately makes this recap less fun to write.
Let's just move on.

..............................................................


Thanks to Andrew L. for snapping this for us.
(We think it'd be cool if someone can e-mail us a picture of the national anthem for away games.)
UPDATE: Andrew L. is also hooking us up with a Caps towel.
Look out, YouTube.

It took 15 seconds from someone with a blowhorn to entice an impromptu "Let's Go..."
And, yes, Pens was audible.

Next thing you know, Nylander drives to the net to look for a rebound.
He runs over MAF with some help from MAF's friends.
Nevertheless, it's PP time.

Recchi is on the top power play unit. Whatev.

(J-Schiff)

Why isn't Staal in front of the net with Sid and Malkin?
If you want Staal to stop doing himself, he needs a goal. And those two other guys are a big deal.

The second unit comes out and can't do anything.

Nothing going for a while after that.
Pens don't look too bad after playing Friday night.

Georges Laraque is back.
Laraque-Hall-Ruutu is as solid a line as it gets in the NHL.
His first shift, the Pens start buzzing. No dice.

Everyone starts running offsides blog.
A-hOle is flying around.
Wasn't it supposed to be a white-out?

Jordan Staal has a wide-open net after Malkin set things up, but he misses.
wtf.

Gonchar goes to the box. PK time.
Armstrong shows no fear while attacking in the Caps zone.
The Caps made him look like Sid.

During that PK, Bob Errey says something about someone's butt being in someone's nose.

Pettinger does just that, and MAF doesn't know what's going on.

Pothier booms it:

(Apparently photographers don't take pictures in Washington anymore.
There are like three pictures.
So instead of showing a picture of the goal, like we would normally do,
Marty, the official chicken of the Pensblog, volunteered to do a reenactment.)

That's a goal. 1-0.

The Capitals PA guy announces the goal.
The dude sounds like he's narrating a commercial for some haunted house.

After that goal, there was probably only one whistle for the rest of the period.
There were sticks everywhere on the ice.
Roberts was jobbing over on the boards, loses his helmet.

Then with 1.7 seconds left, the linesman feels the need to whistle down a faceoff as a false start.
Probably the most pointless thing in the world.

And thus ended the most boring 20 minutes since Caroline in the City.

Lea Thompson should've just reprised her role as Lorraine McFly.
This was one of the worst shows in the history of television.
If Philo T. Farnsworth was alive, he'd give Thompson the stunner.

....................................................

SECOND PERIOD

Early in the second, Ruutu draws a penalty -- what he's supposed to do.
The top power play unit comes on and is poop.

Gary Roberts gets hit from behind in the neutral zone by Shane Morrisonnnnnn, and the Caps are now down 5-on-3.
What a play by Roberts.

Sid's out for the entire two minutes, but nothing happens.
A couple nice setups, though.

During the aftermath following the PK, Recchi gets in front to Staal.
Staal gets off the schneid and gets douched in the mouth with an elbow.
1-1.

Armstrong drives to the net again and draws another penalty.

........................................

"You guys want some loaner pants or something?"
Probably the worst acting performance of all time.

..............................................

Gonchar with a couple boomers.

No dice again on the power play.

Armstrong jobs around for a while.
Then A-hOle grabs it and carries it in like a serpent.
While you're contemplating that Steiggy-ism, Gonchar and Roberts get an abbreviated 2-on-1.
Gonchar does what he can, but nothing happens.
Gonchar gets to break in like that about once every 50 games.

Scuderi gets two minutes for being a steady defenseman.

Armstrong was on acid again during the ensuing PK.
The Pens kill it.
Ovie is getting boo'ed in his own building by Pens fans. What an insult.
That is why Washington is mud.

When you notice that there's 5:00 left and wonder where the period went, stuff gets a little crazy.
The puck squeaks past Fleury and nudges off the post.
Eaton morphs into Fleury again.
The puck comes back around the net, and Eaton does some sort of ninja flop to make a save.

( Will Smith)

After a PK ends and the play continues for a while, it's the best feeling in the world when Crosby takes the ice and starts going nuts.

He gets a high stick in the mouth and acts like he gets shot.

Trainer Chris Stewart needs to start carrying ketchup with him.
The refs would fall for it. Has to be done.

Huge powerplay for the Pens.

And it comes back to bite the Caps in the anus.
Sid and Whitney set up a semi-Whitney Play (TM).
Whitney gets to settle it down, and reminds Brent Johnston that he's a joke. 2-1.

Going into the second intermission, the Pens had had 5 powerplays compared to Washington's 2.

............................................................................

THIRD PERIOD

The Pens were lights-out last season when taking a lead into the third period.

We see a Caps fan, who looks like he is on something, stare into the camera. Maybe it was the fact he looked a little retarded. But the camera was on him just a little too long. Very weird.

The Pens get a couple chances early in the third.
Malkin sets up Roberts for a point-blank shot, but Johnston makes the save.
Probably the best shot of the season.

Off a faceoff, Laraque and Brashear go at it.

BGL could've ended Brashear's life. But didn't hit him when he was down.
Brashear had a gay flurry at the end. BGL is a bad man.

AO and Kozlov come out of nowhere with a 2-on-1.

1 = Mark Eaton.
Nice breakup of the centering pass.

Then Fleishmann gets a chance in front but can't knock the puck out of the air.
Big ups to MAF there for keeping his pad down and not reacting too early to a potential deflection.

And then Morrisonnnnn started being a joke again, cheap-shotting Crosby.
Did anyone know Morrisonn existed before this game? Exactly.


Out of nowhere, Jordan Staal jobs someone and has to throw down with Pettinger.
Pettinger instigates the fight and is wearing a visor.
That's an extra two-minute penalty every day of the week, but apparently not anymore.

Staal doesn't want to break his hands in some stupid fight with a plugger, so he ends up dragging Pettinger down with him to the ice. Worst fight maybe ever.

A Ryan Whitney turnover almost leads to a goal.

Gonchar owns someone into MAF. An obvious penalty.
Big PK time.

Adam Hall gets jobbed on a breakaway, and no penalty is called.
The boos from the Pens fans dominate the arena.
(Because of that Devils game, we're all gonna get the reputation for the rest of the season of being whiners for booing non-calls. That's life.)

A Crapital D-man falls. Talbot and Malone break in.
Rebound comes out to Malone, Talbot jumps around like a lizard. Save.
The play continues to the Pens zone, but FSN decides to do a In My Own Words segment with Brent Johnston.
But hey, can't job FSN.
It would be like pissing off your crack dealer.

Word

The Capitals start pressing big-time.
Insane hockey was going on, and the clock was going at a snail's pace.

We've been jobbing Mark Recchi like he killed Marty.
But what an insane play breaking up Ovechkin's cross-ice pass after flying back from the Caps zone.
To almost restore the balance, the puck nearly goes over the glass after Recchi deflects it.

Tense times as the clock winds down.
AO tries to lay out Gary Roberts coming across the blue line.
If anything, the impact squeezed a fart from Roberts.

There is nothing scarier in the world than Ovechkin flying down the left wing.
He does it about five time in the last 5 minutes of the game.
They almost get a squeaker past MAF as they start thinking about pulling Johnston.

Johnston zooms to the bench.
The puck finds AO at the point, and everyone's heart stops.
MAF swallows it up.

15 seconds left. TO.

Sid wins the big faceoff.
Eaton finds a way to get it out of the zone.

Game.

STATS

• Whit: 1 G
• Sid: 1 A
• MAF: 30 saves. 29 in the third period.

MISCELLANEOUS

• What a win.
• Eaton was sick.
• Armstrong had his best game of the year.
• Orpik wasn't bad, either.
• Over .500
• Adam Hall has been solid.
• Snoop over at TSCS is not happy with Caps fans. [ Sid Crosby Show ]
• For Capital fan reaction, go to Japers Rink. [ Japers Rink ]
  

GameDay (7) -- Pens @ Caps

Verizon Center

7:00


3 - 3 - 0

Probably the most anticipated game of the young season.
The Capitals organization is making a big deal out of it, as they have organized a "whiteout" for the game.
Unfortunately for them, they forgot they're playing the Pens.

The Caps look to be not as much of a joke as they have been in recent years.
The last thing the Eastern Conference needs is another team jumping into everything.
But it looks like they'll be taking Atlanta's place.

The Verizon Center can be an unfriendly place when you're trailing.
Never mind. YOUTUBE ALREADY EMBEDDED.

.................................................

Go Pens

Oh Man. PENS WIN.

4 - 3
SHOOTOUT

NHL.com RECAP

Walking out of the Mellon Arena after the game and seeing the look of unbridled joy on peoples' faces is what life is all about.
Just a fun game to be at.
More drama than a Jodie Foster movie.

Being that we were at the game, it goes without saying that we missed a lot.
This recap is mud compared to others.
So all we can try to do is relay what we saw.
So if we messed up, job us.

You won't have a lot of time to do it.
The Pens play again in like 8 minutes.

.....................................

Jeff Jimmerson got things started early with a stirring rendition of the national anthem.
The charisma emanating from the performance causes an usher in section B4 to become pregnant.

If you could script a game and try to make it begin as terribly as it did tonight, it would be tough.

35 seconds in, Gonch gets called for something.
Carolina wastes no time at all.
Ray Whitney from downtown to beat Sabu.

Not good. 1-0.

The Staal-Malkin-Malone line comes out flying. Malking is out of his mind.
After a few minutes of nothing going on, Malkin gets a break-out pass.
He starts down the wing, something is gonna happen.
Never mind. Ryan Malone decides to fight. Whatev.

With Malone in the box, Rutuu somehow finds his way on a line with Malkin and Staal.
They get some good chances. Rutuu truck sticks Walker.

Remember this.

Walker stays down, but finally gets up.

Rutuu celebrates the play minutes later by taking a penalty.
The PK shows up. Colby blocks a shot.

Ryan Malone has a breakaway at some point.
He makes the dumbest move ever. No dice.

Nothing going on.
It still feels like Sabu is shakier than Ferguson from "Clarissa Explains It All."

What a dick.

The crowd is trying to get into it. Roberts-Armstrong-Talbot have a good shift.
Speaking of the crowd, we see tons of interesting people.

Dave Littlefied makes an appearance, so does Clark Haggans.
The closer you get to Dave Littlefield, the more you are convinced he is Vince McMahon.
Trenni and Sonni also get some face time on the scoreboard.

Speaking of the scoreboard, we get to see one of those jobber question things that WXDX personalities have to do.
Vinny from the X comes on, with a haircut that is beyond reason.

Hopefully, next home game, they ask a fan if they know where Jordan Staal is.

Vinny's haircut dominates the rest of the first until some moron takes a penalty for the Canes.
The first powerplay unit looks sluggish. The second unit rolls on.
Puck to the net. Petr Sykora shows up to pick up the trash.
Pucks goes in. 1-1.

Interestingly enough, an anomaly occurred after the ensuing faceoff:

Mellon Arena PA announcer John Barbero has had 2,463 consecutive perfect games behind the mike.
Sykora scored with 1:02 left.
Right off the faceoff, Barbero announces, "The Pittsburgh goal..."
He then craps himself and realizes he has to do the obligatory "One minute remaining in the period. One minute."
He then continues, "...his third of the season..."

The best part was him changing his voice from the excited goal call, to the monotone announcement, then back to the excited goal call. That was a nice save that only a professional can execute.

That's not a job on Barbero. It's just the first time we've heard something like that.

......................................................

Personalblog 1.0

During the first intermission, we were able to make the long hike to Section F and pay homage to LGP poster C. T. Mechanic, who is responsible for the WWGRD sign in the Mellon.
Good people up there.

"At the last game, during the national anthem, Roberts stared up at us and the sign for the entire duration of the anthem. He was convinced." -- C.T. Mechanic

......................................................

SECOND PERIOD

The second period of the past two games should've had their own book in the Bible.

We reiterate that commentorblog has the detailed analysis of most of the action, but the Pens were seemingly still getting hosed on calls.

Four minutes into the second, the Canes scored a goal.

It turned gloomier when Justin Williams scored with about 5:00 left.

That's as demoralizing as a picture can get.

But then a funny thing happened on Scott Walker's way to the bench.
He had some torso injury or something?

Maybe the Mellon Arena ghosts had to meet their quota of knocking a Hurricane out of a game.

Nevertheless, the game did a 180 after that.

Jarkko Ruutu, when he wasn't in the box, looked like he had 80 minutes of ice time tonight.
Him and Talbot job around, and Adam Hall bangs it in.
Big goal. Made it 3-2. Mellon in a frenzy.

The Penguins have committed a lot of stupid penalties this season.
But nothing compares to Mike Commodore.
He loses his stick and tries to make out with Recchi coming down the wing.
He goes to the box.

When the Pens are on that power play, Rob Brindamour takes a stupid penalty, and the Pens go on the 5-on-3.

Time winding down.
Even the 74-minute-old fetus in that usher's womb is screaming SHOOT.

Can't remember how it happens, but our new friendly neighborhood garbage man scores a goal that was almost a mirror image of his first one.

On the grainy Jumbotron replay, it looked like Roberts' stick may have nudged that puck to Syko, or maybe we just wanted it to.

It doesn't matter.
It sets up an exciting third period.

..................................................................

Personalblog 2.0

During the second intermission, we found a place to make free signs.
WWGRD was the logical choice.
Special thanks to Christine K.

Also, on the way back to our seats, the karma from endless jobbing caught up with us.
As Pensblog Derek was running up to his seat, he lost his footing and nose-dived into the concrete steps.
What a mistake. There was Coke everywhere.
If anyone was in C2, let us know if you saw it.

.................................................................

THIRD PERIOD

We don't know about the TV side, but it was pretty exciting at the arena.

Sabu was coming up big with a couple of saves.

No acrobatics, no fancy shenanigans --
At the top of his crease, seeing the puck into his body, making some nice kick saves, and handing out DDTs to anyone screening him.

Orpik was out of his mind towards the end of the third.
Scuderi was laying the body.
Eaton looked like he hit someone.

Somewhere in the third, Recchi tricked everyone in the arena into thinking a puck squeaked by Cam Ward, but it was a mirage.

Towards the end of the third, the Canes started pouring it on.
The Pens were blocking shots, hitting people, clearing sight lines for Sabu.

The clock ticks to zero, and we get the all-important point.
But overtime hockey isn't for the faint of heart.

We're trying to remember, but there weren't any scoring chances that stick out.
The clock ticks to zero.

First up was Erik Christensen.
What a move. 1-0.

Matt Cullen was up for Carolina.
Him and Sabu have a staring contest before Cullen jobs him. 1-1.

Sykora was up next.
He fakes forehand, goes backhand, top shelf. 2-1.

Jeff Hamilton stepped onto the ice for Carolina.
He skates down and eats Sabu's lunch for him. 2-2.

Next was Sid something.
The best player in the world taking cues from Erik Christensen. 3-2.

Next up.
Ray Whitney vs. Danny Sabourin. Game on the line.
Make a save, win the game.

17,000-plus people in the Mellon and countless watching at home, who were wincing every time Sabu faced a shot just hours before, are now chanting his name.

As Whitney approached, for the briefest of moments, you didn't hear anything.
We would all give anything for him to save it.

Then before you even knew what was going on, a roar thundered across the Mellon Arena.
Dany Sabourin raises his hands towards the Pens bench.

Game.

We're back to usual recaps Saturday night.

We hate doing the personal stories. We feel dirty for doing it.
But some things just have to be mentioned.

GameDay (6) -- Canes @ Pens

7:30pm



(4-1-1)
Season series:
Canes 1-0
Last meeting- Oct. 5:
4-1 beat down by Carolina

[Gameday Chats ]
...........................................

After Wednesday's disaster, it is good to have a game a few nights later.
Everyone needs it.

The one drawback is the Canes are usually an awful matchup for the Penguins.
And also not to mention the tropical depressions are red hot.

Expect another job fest.

Pensblog staff gets to make the trip to old lady Mellon for this one.
Nothing quite like the Mellon Arena on a crisp October night.

Hopefully we are close enough to hit Rod "The Bod" Brind'Amour with a battery if things get out of hand.
............................................

Go Pens.

Over The Lower Hill And Far Away

WWGRD UPDATE

ENVELOPES ARRIVED ON THURSDAY.
THERE'S A LONG SHOT OF RECEIVING THE WRISTBANDS ON FRIDAY,
BUT IT'S PRETTY MUCH A GUARANTEE WE'LL BE GETTING THEM ON MONDAY.

WE HAVE MORE SMALL ORDERS THAN BIGGER ONES,
SO THE BIGGER ONES WILL HAVE TWO OR THREE ENVELOPES TIED TOGETHER.

IMPORTANT
IMPORTANT
IMPORTANT
READ READ READ

IF YOU HAVE SET UP PAYMENTS VIA PayPal, DOUBLE-CHECK THAT THE ADDRESS IN YOUR PayPal ACCOUNT IS THE ONE THAT YOU WANT THE WRISTBANDS SENT TO.

IF YOU HAVE SENT PAYMENT VIA THE POST OFFICE, MAKE SURE THAT THE RETURN ADDRESS IS THE ONE YOU WANT IT SENT TO.
ADD A PIECE OF PAPER INSIDE THAT INCLUDES THE ADDRESS YOU WANT IT SENT TO.

WE'LL BE STARTING TO PUT ADDRESS LABELS ON THESE ENVELOPES ON SATURDAY, OCTOBER 20.
IF YOU HAVE AN ADDRESS CHANGE, INCLUDE THE NAME THAT IS ON YOUR PayPal ACCOUNT ALONG WITH THE NEW ADDRESS AND SEND IT TO
thepensblog@gmail.com.

LET'S MAKE THIS IS AS SMOOTH AS POSSIBLE.
ALL ORDERS THAT CAN BE FILLED ARE SHIPPING OUT ON WEDNESDAY, 10/24.

........................................................................

Is Ray Shero shopping for goalies?


Bob Mckenzie says yes, the Pens are looking into their goaltending situation. [ TSN ]

Expectations are high in Pittsburgh. If they're going to take the next step in their evolution as a contender, they must get some big-time goaltending and Fleury has yet to provide it consistently. Back-up Dany Sabourin is apparently not the answer.

He may be on to something.
But Mckenzie can't even analyze his own feces.
It is still early.

Ray Shero doesn't run a blog or post on message boards.
He knows what's going on. No need to get all flipped out over it.

Plus, if the Pens really need a goaltender:


Ken Wregget is ready.

Fleury speaks his frustrations. [ Trib ]

..........................................

Frustrationblog

A lot of people are still steaming after the Wednesday game.
Rightfully so. We waited all summer for this.

One of the bigger problems we and some other people are having --
Mark Recchi and his playing time.

Now, look. We don't know anything.
We aren't respectable analysts or even humans.

"Recchi is a stand-up guy, blah blah blegh."

But this is unacceptable:

Devils game:
Recchi: 20:03 of ice time
Malkin: 14:30 of ice tme

This cannot happen. Also, some of the minutes, you would think, should go to Christensen.
He is way more of a threat to score right now.

Hopefully this changes, because someone may go postal if it ever happens again.

It's actually getting to the point where no one gets pumped if Recchi's the one carrying the puck into the zone.

..................................................


Picture: An emperor penguin looking up at the rest of the Atlantic Division.


Mike Comrie with a hat trick to beat the Caps.
We haven't seen anymore of the DiPietro-Campoli celebration.


Flyers shutout the Devils.


Atlanta finally wins a game, beats the Rangers.
Payback for getting humiliated in the playoffs last year.

......................................................................


Jason Spezza has been missing since Game One of the Cup Finals.
He finally shows up with his first goal of the season. Beat Habs 4-3.

Sens fans rejoice:



Oilers are officially eliminated from playoff contention.
Souray out for a month with a separated shoulder. [ TSN ]


Continuing shoulderblog, Martin Havlat is going to rehab. [ TSN ]


They fired their head coach, Bob Hartley.
But they win a game.
And now they lose goalie Lehtonen with a groin.
If The Moose sees playing time, life makes sense. He's a beast. [ TSN ]

.....................................................................



Rumormillblog

A Kovalev to Calgary for Tanguay trade rumor has been surfacing. [ Yahoo ]
Kovalev even jobbed Guy Carbonneau recently. [ TSN ]

Yahoo NHL was all over it.


And they're still mayor of Typo City.

........................................................................

Gotta love what Washington is trying to pull for the game against the Pens on Saturday.

(Thanks to Rich V. for sending this in.)

"Caps Hockey -- The Cool Alternative."
To what? Crack?

Way to job and take the Student Rush program.

Who has a whiteout in October?
We'd say they should save that for the playoffs. But consider the source.
Welcome to Washington Capital hockey.
Jokes.

...................................................................


Nice little story on a trip to Pittsburgh by some Devils fans traveling to the Mellon. [Interchangeable Parts]

Big ups to Seth for the assist. [ Empty Netters ]

...................................................

Le Magnifique is finally getting paid. [ PG ]

Mario Lemieux, who was owed $32 million in deferred compensation on the contract in effect when he retired as a player in 1997, will receive $21 million in the wake of a periodic refinancing of the team's debt earlier this week.

He should use $500,000 of that and hire someone to whack Roger Marino.

............................................

James Mirtle is a big deal.
Detailed info on coaches' ages and playing experience. [ Mirtle ]
Good stuff.

........................................




Bring on the Hurricanes.
Go Pens.

Felon In The Mellon. PENS LOSE.

5 - 4

NHL.COM RECAP


That is what it feels like right now.

What an emotional game.
This game took a month off of everyone's life.

It is one of those losses that makes you want to do an assortment of illegal activities.

Going on a killing spree -- would make sense right now.
Drinking yourself into a coma -- do it.
Pile-driving your cat -- would just make things feel a little bit better.

All in all, there just isn't anything fun about what went down in the Lower Hill tonight.
But this is the life we lead.

Go into commentorblog, unload some F bombs.

Tough times right now.
This one may stay with us for a while.

But in early August, when we were all clamoring for Pens hockey,
you knew this feeling.

..............................

FIRST PERIOD

Things got off to a interesting start.
Right off the face off, Kelly Clarkson scraps it up with Roberts.
He throws his gloves off, but no penalty called. Whatev.

The Pens looked like they were skating 2 MPH the first minute.
Then out of nowhere, Staal drops an unreal pass to Malkin.
Malkin doesn't deke, just gets off a quick shot. No dice.
The three Amigos line looks good:

(Lloyd Jones)

Later, MAF jobs a rebound out, but makes a balls-out save on the follow-up.

Army-Talbot-Roberts turn in a solid shift.
You could hear some people in the crowd try to start a cheer to commend their effort, but it was for naught.

The Penguins are playing the Devils.
Jay Pandalfo still plays for the Devils.
That means he will score a goal. 1-0.

The Pens almost got it back right away, but Johnny Oduya is there to make Brodeur still look like a top-flight goalie.

Malkin does a 980 and gets off a backhand that goes sailing wide.
The Devils start transitionblog.
John Madden carries it in.

Boom. That's a goal.
2-0.

After some jobbing and wondering if this game is already over because of the Devils trap, Crosby all of a sudden gets the puck on a 2-on-1.
Before you can get excited, he falls.
But he gets up and goes nuts.
Gets it to Gonch.
Gonch gets it to Syko on a sick pass, but Brodeur is there.

Crosby goes to the turnbuckle and tags in Talbot.
A Devils D-man without a stick meant the Pens were about to crap on Brodeur.
You didn't appreciate Whitney's pass until you get the view from behind the play.

Talbot easy tip-in. 2-1.
4 goals in 3 games. Wow.

The Pens get a power play, and Pens Nation patiently waits for the second unit to get on the ice.
After a minute, the second unit hops onto the ice.
And then...


It happens.

Roberts.
2-2.

Towards the end of the period, the Pens are buzzing and draw another penalty.
During the delayed call, Whitney and Crosby switch places for The Whitney Play (TM), but no dice.
Crosby is sick for the remainder of the period. And that was it.

First Period Fall Count

Crosby - 2
Malkin - 1

Somewhere in that first period, Steigerwald again mistook Crosby for Armstrong.
Mike Lange throws a paper airplane at him from the adjacent booth.

......................................................................

SECOND PERIOD
( A period worse than the one your girlfriend didn't get. )

The downside of the late first-period power play was that the number-one unit would be able to be on for the entire time when the second period began.
Can't believe we're saying that's a bad thing.

We stand corrected.
As soon as Crosby touched that puck up on the right wing, you knew something was coming.
He turns on the jets, goes behind the net.
He uses SidVision to get it out to Gonch. One-timer.

Big goal. 3-2.

A little later, the Pens get some more going.
Hall turns in a good shift, geta a puck on Marty.
The most unnecessary call to the War Room ensues.
They let Helen Keller handle that one.
You can feel the Devils fading.

Malkin goes into the zone, spins.
And the unforced fall count for the game is 2.

Jarkko Ruutu gets some ice time.
WWJRD?
Take a penalty.

AND THIS IS WHERE IT ALL BEGINS.

Adam Hall on the first PK unit.
He came out of nowhere to crack the starting lineup this year.
He hasn't given anyone a reason to hate him.

"The Pens are never looking for Scuderi. He is always in the right place."
-- Bob Errey

Daryl Sydor goes to the box.
Quick goal. 3-3.

Before you can fart, Sykora tries to free Sid up on a breakaway with a job.
But he is caught with his hands in the proverbial cookie jar.
Another big PK was coming.
Pens kill it.

Oh, wait. Another PK on the way.
Recchi holds a Devil, then complains when he gets a penalty.

OBSERVATIONBLOG
The more profusely Recchi argues a call, the more obvious the penalty is.
That's not a penalty in Game 7 late in the third period, but whatev. Gotta kill it.

The fans get behind the Pens on the PK with a chant.
Solid effort.
The PK is killed.
The torture is over.

Then the job heard 'round the world was fired.
The Pens catch the Devils on a change. Both teams are changing.
Orpik makes a pass to Staal that made Bobby Orr touch himself.

2 on none. Malkin on one knee. Blisters it past Brodeur on a one-timer. Huge goal.
Crowd is going nuts. You're sitting at home going nuts.

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS.......

What a big go-


Hold the phone.

Barbero:
"The goal has been disallowed. Pittsburgh had too many men on the ice."

Too many men on the Pens?

Now, if this was called right away...fine.

But neither of the two head officials made the call.

That means one of the two linesmen made the call.

One linesman was making sure Staal and Malkin were onside.
The other linesman was amidst 17 players jumping off and on the bench, and he was jobbing with Crosby and whoever he was messing with.

How is that call made? And who made the call?
Our best guess is the Devils coach was screaming at the linesman about the Pens players, and the linesman took the bait.

Telling someone else how to do their job is one of the most dickest things you can do, but we must say a ref can't let a coach dictate the game.

You can argue that there were 6 Penguins.
But this is a Penguin blog. Worst call in a long time.

The Pens get another penalty after that. No one even knows why.
But they're killing it.

Sykora breaks out of the box on a breakaway.
You hold your breath to see if Sykora will get a penalty for being a human being.

No penalty, and Brodeur makes the save.

And then holy balls.
A skirmish around Fleury's net results in a goal.
The Devils dive on Fleury with some assistance from the Pens. Someone finds the puck.
4-3.
Isn't play stopped when the ref loses sight of the puck? wtf

MAF throws the net off the moorings, a la Ulf Samuelsson.
Why isn't that an unsportsmanlike penalty? He did it right in front of the official.
A real ref throws his hand up on that, too.

Mellon Arena was about to explode.

The referee had lost control of the game. No question.

The dust clears, and the Devils throw the puck over the glass.
Bob Errey says the Pens will have to kill another power play as they go to commercial.
WTF.
He was probably confused after making out with the referees all game.

The Pens buzz on the power play, but no dice.

The Devils get another penalty.
Then another.

Even-up penalty (n.) -- A call that is made when you know you've severely jobbed the other team.

The Pens get a 5-on-3 for two hours.

They pass the puck around for days.

SHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOTTTTTTT
MYYYYEEAAAAARRRGGGHGHGHGHGHHHH

Crosby finds Malkin chillin' all alone.

Malkin puts the frustrations of every Penguins fan in the world behind a slapshot.
4-4.

The Pens are still on the power play for a while after the goal.

But not for long.
Ryan Malone goes to the Mark Recchi school of taking penalties and arguing about them.
Helen Keller makes another appearance to call that penalty.
While what Malone did was funny, it was stupid.

Bad times going into the locker room.

.............................................................

THIRD PERIOD

Therrien is in the ref's face to start the third.
That isn't good.

The Pens still face 3:00-plus on the PK. HUGE PK.
Lost in all of this mess was how well the PK unit handled themselves.

Colby gets tripped up and Trent Green's Brodeur.

Sid. What a pass on his butthole.

Sykora tries to shoot against the grain, just misses.

It starts to become painfully obvious that Brodeur isn't going to let a goal in.
You can feel it.

Compared to the second period, the first half of the third was as exciting as a Sugar Ray concert.

A race to an icing call. Nope.
Who made that call, by the way?

The Devils make two unreal passes:

Asham.
Goal.
5-4.

Crosby then just owns Parise.
Asham needs a tampon and jobs Sid with a punch.

You see Roberts watching the whole thing.
They switch camera angles and you wait for it.
Then he comes in and just nails Asham.
Bing got the initial penalty, but then things get evened up.
No clue what is even going on.

Out of nowhere, we see Mario. The fire in his eyes.
We demand that shot at least once a night.

Pens down to 4:43 to go. Tense times.
The trap looming.

Nothing happening.
Clock is flying.

Whitney makes a save after MAF plays the puck. MAF, don't play the puck.
Just nothing good happening.

MAF bolts to the bench late.
The Pens get insanely jobbed on a phantom offside call:

Phantom of the Mellon = Disgusted.

The linesman blew the whistle but actually gave the no-offsides (washout) signal.
That means he wasn't sure. Bad call.

Time runs out.

Game.

STATS

• No one cares right now.
• Gonch: 1 G, 2 A
• Sid: 2 A
• Roberts: 1 G, 1 A
  
• Malkin has a point in all 5 games.
  
• MAF is 2-3-0 without Penguin testicles on his mask.
  

MISCELLANEOUS

• We won't complain about the train to the box, but the too-many-men call was horrid. The no-goalie-interference was awful. Case closed.
• The Pens were playing solid until everything went to hell.
• Devils and the Pens in a high-scoring affair?
• The Pens had 3 PP goals tonight. That matches what they had against the Devils all of last season.
  
• This one just hurts, don't even want to talk about it.
• This is only game 5 of 82.
  

GameDay (5) -- Devils @ Pens

7:30


2 - 3 - 0

The Devils blow.

The past 10-odd years, we've said that with pure hatred.

But now, they just straight up blow.

Petr Sykora was a part of the Devils trap for more than a few years.
It'll be interesting to see if he knows where the cracks are.





Anthony Costa

Great Day For Hockey

That's damn right

Pens finally have a game tonight.

As someone said in commentorblog, these four-day layoffs suck.

..............................................

Speaking of sucks

Versus blows

During the Flyers/Thrashers game Tuesday night, they had a little piece on Crosby during the intermission.
They asked him about his instincts, and he mentioned how "on the one where I slid, if my legs wouldn't have hit the net, I would've been face-first in the boards."
Everyone knows he's talking about that goal against Tampa Bay last year.

But Versus shows an entirely different clip of some goal he scored against Ottawa where he slid a little and barely got near the boards.

If you talk to 100 non-Pittsburgh fans and you mention the "Crosby sliding goal," 95 will know you mean the Tampa goal.

But Versus redeems itself by plugging "Sidney Crosby Revealed."
October 23. 6:30 or something.

A look at the Pens and their Atlantic Division schedule. [ PG ]

The PG also talks about MAF's largely unnoticed solid relief performance against the Leafs. [ PG ]

Talbot praises Fu Manchu for early success. [ Trib ]


[ Frankensteimer ]

....................................................

Notice anything about MAF's old mask?
( The Godfrey brothers tipped us off on this. )


The longer you look, the more and more it looks like the biggest pair of stones in the world.

...................................................................................

Neil Smith invented Fantasy Hockey. [ The 2 Man Advantage ]

Great site here.
The two guys who run it scored a interview with Neil Smith.
It is almost hard to believe:



....................................................

We said it once.
And we will say it again.
If we see someone mentions Tommy Soderstrom, it will be linked.
Seth over at EN brings us Mario's 500th goal via YouTube. [ Empty Netters ]


.................................................


Jochen Hecht's 56-point season last year is worth about $3.5 mill per year. [ NHL.com ]


The Stars want Forsberg.
Carrying an entire team won't help Forsberg's ankle. [ TSN ]


Vincent Lecavalier has donated $3 million to help build a cancer center. [ TSN ]
Here's hoping no one has to visit it.


They lost to the flying phalluses Tuesday night.
They remain the only winless team in the NHL.

..............................................

No idea why or how we got sent this, but it is sick.

Some NHL players will be getting to test the next big thing in skates. [ ThermaBlade ]

It is a heated blade that will help skaters get better grip on the ice.


Only drawback: Wayne Gretzky is involved.
Let's just move on.

............................................................

Finally

Get ready for a new Gary Roberts song.
It is written and performed by Adam Shaw from the Pittsburgh-are band Malevolence.
[ Malevolence MySpace Page ]

Here is the MP3 file link. [WWGRD]


Sick.

.....................................

Go Pens

Skippy = Mud

The Jobbing Tour Bus is ready to roll.


This time, we didn't have to travel far. Just to our comments.

It was less than a week ago that we posted Don K. Show's "hey this would be funny" idea of a WWGRD wristband.


If this is chillin' in the rack at a checkout lane in Wal-Mart for $2, we would all buy 10 of them without thinking twice.

After it piqued the interest of many in commentorblog, we thought,
"Hey, this could work. Let's stop for a second, figure out how to do this, because we've never done something like this before, and then present our idea to everyone."

It took commenter Skippy and his entrepreneurial spirit less than 24 hours to hodgepodge something together real quick.

Skippy44 said...

WWGRD? Wristbands are now available on ebay!

See link below!

eBay page link

10/11/2007 12:50 AM

Can't blame him.
These wristbands are a solid idea.

On the original eBay page, Skippy referenced Pensblog with an "as seen on Pensblog" message.
That was nice of him.
That message is long-gone now.

And then came our post on Friday, the 12th.
Count with us on how many things we said that didn't come true.

• We'll be using eBay to sell these. ( Nope )
  
• Other than the initial purchases, no pre-orders will be taken. ( Nope )
  
• We won't post the wristbands for sale on eBay until they are in our hand. ( Nope )
  
• We reiterate: A limit of 10 per person. ( True )
  
• You WILL get one. ( True )
  

We found out that doing this through PayPal would be easiest.
We said that people could place pre-orders in order to help us pay the initial cost.
When a lot of people started sending in small orders,
we realized, "hey, there's interest. Let's do mass pre-orders."

Our main concern with worrying about pre-orders was wondering whether or not we would take it up the butt financially if we rushed into all of this (and we hope Skippy isn't coming to terms with that realization right now).

We then held a vote between two wristband designs, and you, the buyers and wearers, had the chance to pick which one was better (or which was the lesser of two evils).

If there's one part of this whole thing that we screwed up on,
it may have been in picking the design.
It was a double-edged sword because it was highly unlikely that everyone who came here would touch themselves over a design.
To make things smoother, we ran our favorite lettering and design against a subtle version of Skippy's.
We did what we could with what the wristband company gave us.

We thought all-black would be a subtle attention grabber, especially with Vegas Gold lettering.
And black goes with anything you would want to wear.

..............................

When most of the votes had been tallied and we saw which one was going to win,
we sent the wristband-purchasing process into motion.

In response to people asking where Skippy was during this entire process,
another comment came on Monday evening:

Skippy44 said...

Thats right, I have been silent for some time watching and seeing what is said...

1. BRETT is not me in disguise. I don't even know who he is, and he jobs me as much as you do.

2. Skippy is my on air name I have had for 6 years doing talk radio down south

3. You are hypocrites for claiming to not do pre-orders when you ask people to email you now to place an order and your product just was sent into production today if I read that correctly.

4. MY product is on Ebay and is 2.50 with free shipping and no minimum or maximum quantities.

eBay page link

10/15/2007 10:11 PM

........................................................................

We aren't hypocrites.
It was the simple factor of everything changing when an anonymous investor, who wants to be known as Ted DiBiase, offered to cover the initial purchase for us.

It allowed us to go for broke.

Skippy and Pensblog could have joined forces.
E-mails were shared.
But no dice.

We've let Skippy solicit commentorblog with links to something he's selling...twice.
And we've linked it twice in this very post.
We'll link it every day. We don't care.

............................................................

Note: Once our first batch of bracelets is sold, there will be no maximum on purchases.
We wanted to set a maximum number of wristbands on this batch to assure everyone got one as soon as they could.

When you sit back and realize that this whole thing started on October 10, and that people will be receiving their wristbands during the last week of October, that's pretty insane.
Thanks to everyone for your interest in all of this.



Go Pens.

Whatev

Midway through another solid Heroes last night,

NBC teases some Matt Lauer interview.

Lauer ask some guy, "Are you gay?"


He can't be stopped.

And the Haitian was making his case for the Emmy.
Clearly the best actor on television.

In between some commercials, we switched to Versus:


The Toronto Leafs melted down in Buffalo. [ TSN ]
They blew three leads in the third period.
It all ended as Bryan McCabe shot a puck into his own net in OT.
McCabe is clearly the worst player in the NHL.

Jocelyn Thibault got the win.

Dude get a new mask already.

..............................................

WRISTBANDBLOG

The order for 500 wristbands was placed at 2:17 PM Lemieux Time on Monday.
The company says that orders ship in 3-5 business days.

ENVELOPEBLOG

We also placed an order for bubble packages that should be arriving by the end of the week.


Unless Tom Hanks is still working for FedEx,
we plan on shipping these out on Wednesday, October 24.

We've been trying to gauge how many wristbands will be sold.
We are gonna be getting close to the 500 mark.

NOTE

As of Tuesday at 2:07 AM:

We've gotten upwards of 120 e-mails.
We have received 52 PayPal payments.
252 wristbands are already locked up.
( Snoopy Jode can confirm )

PUT YOUR ORDER IN ASAP IF YOU WANT ONE IN THIS BATCH

If you're sending money via regular mail, get that puppy postmarked.

..........................................................................

We had a decision to make on what to upload to YouTube.
We couldn't make up our minds.

We will go with:

NHL95 highlights
( Watch his dominance go to another level at 7:00 left in the first period. )




Tomorrow, we may have a Gary Roberts song that will change your life.

............................................................

PENS

Sidney gets off the schneid. [ Fanhouse ]

Orpik will be ready to go on Wednesday.

Nazzer is back. [PG]

...........................................................................



Todd Bertuzzi is injured again.
Concussionblog


Picture: Bertuzzi overcome with tears of joy when realizing he now has more free time to touch little boys.


Boulerice called up Ryan Kesler and apologized for jobbing him. [ TSN ]
Boulerice was placed on waivers. [ NHL.com ]
The chances of him playing another NHL game are about the same as that thing on Grey's Anatomy ever being attractive.


Blegh

...............................

The first of 8 games this season against the Devils is Wednesday.
It's been so long since we played the Devils.

Things have not been going well in Jersey...


(Don K. Show)

.................................................

We should never call anyone out for a typo.

But we found this on Yahoo.



Awful.
..............................................

One more piece of business.

A few months ago, we got an email from "Mr. Dale" warning us about some jobber who lays the law down on Mario and the Pens, in general.
We didn't think anything of it until he made his first and last appearance in Commentorblog in yesterday's post.

Normally we never censor anyone.
But anyone who is going to job Mario that hard, F off.
Welcome new enemy of the Pensblog.

"Penglose."


An actual picture from the 1985 season.

...........................

Go Pens

Bump and Grind

We've had an overwhelming number of people purchasing wristbands.
Thank you to all.

Keep the orders coming.
Just to confirm, you can get the wristbands through us.
The listing on EBAY is not ours.

Gary Roberts NHL 95 Highlights.
Coming Tuesday.

Speaking of Mr. Roberts.

Check out this YouYube of his first game as a Pen.
Listen closely at 25 seconds in.



Chilling.

.................................................

Oct 14.

15 years since you know what.

Sad

Had to mention it.
Great article by Joe Starkey. [ Trib ]

.................................

NFL Blog.

Was anyone watching the Sunday night game between the Saints and Seahawks?
Midway through the second quarter, they pan to a picture of the crowd.
Some dude is chilling in a Pens Malkin jersey.
We'd pay at least $5,000 to see it.

....................................

An old foe is back in the news.


The Sprint Center finally opened on Saturday night.
Fittingly, Elton John was the opening act.


Follwing the performance, Elton John touched a man.

...............................................

"And yet, after an offseason of uncertainty during which his name was constantly bandied about as possible trade bait, Gerber is once again flirting with greatness, or at least the possibility of greatness."

Scott Burnside said this about Senators goalie Martin Gerber. [ ESPN ]
Greatness? Really Scott?



..................................................

AROUND THE ATLANTIC




(3-1)

That Boulerice homo was suspended 25 games.
No one outside Philadelphia knew this guy even existed before this mess.


(3-3)

Across the way, the Islanders were sitting atop the Atlantic until Philly and their better winning percentage jumped in front.
Mike Comrie is making the Islanders look like the Little Engine That Could.

Too bad the railroad was built on a reservation.


(2-3)

Didn't know that it was even possible, but the Rangers will have more spotlight this season, because of all spending in the offseason.
They are running inconsistentblog just like the Pens.


(2-3)

If you've never actually seen boobs play ice hockey, watch a Devils game.
They are nowhere to be found.

.....................................................


(2-2)

Wednesday's loss was mud for the Pens.
But a big bounce back on Saturday night against the Leafs.

It seems like every other team in the NHL plays on a normal schedule, and the Pens play once a week.
This week should be fun, though.

Wednesday
Home against the Devils

Get ready for clutch and grab city.

Friday
Home againt Carolina

Revenge.
Pensblog will be at the old Mellon for this one.

Saturday
At the Craptials

Can't wait to see how many Pens fans make the trip.



More news:

Pens are getting good at faceoffs.
Finally. [ PG ]

Still looking forward to the "Pens interested in Yanic Perreault" rumors that start around November.

Mark Recchi owns some team. [ Trib ]

Ice time leaders in the NHL. [ Mirtle ]
Stangely enough Mark Recchi isn't in the top ten.

...................................................



The Ducks take the money they were gonna spend on "team leader" Scott Neidermayer's balls to get these Stanley Cup rings. Jesus. [ Fanhouse ]


Shut up

.....................................

New idea to market suspensions. [ Battle of California ]



........................................
Photoshop creds

Atlantic -- Justin
Sprint -- Joe Karpp
[Arena Photoshop Expo]

..................................

Go Pens

Sick
(Don K. Show )

Don't Call It A Comeback. PENS WIN.

6 - 4

[NHL.com RECAP]


Just as you can't get too down after a loss, you can't get too high after a win this early.

...............................................

Right off the bat, we get some interesting news:

Sabu in net for the Pens.

Strange move.
Not really gonna try to dissect it.
Let's just move on.

Dan Potash interviews Gary Roberts on the FSN pregame.
Two men that are solid at their jobs.

Roberts cracks a smile, and 8 people are blinded in Greentree.

................................................

Toronto gives us a really good reason to make fun of them:
Mike Myers was brought out before the game to drop the puck.
He gets a standing ovation.
It will be hard to find a more self-serving 10 minutes this week.



It is also Cancer Awareness month in the NHL.
Toronto was honoring that tonight.
Which is always good.

But not quite sure about the pink thunder sticks they were passing out:

No comment.
It's a toss-up between the sticks and those oversized cowboy hats in the back.

..............................................

FIRST PERIOD

Nothing happening early on.
Roberts his some poor soul along the boards.
The dude's stick gets launched 100 feet.
It is the Subway Sammich of the game.

Crosby gets on the ice on the following shift.
Sykora finds himself in a sex area in the slot.
A one-timer from Sid goes for naught.

After some jobbin, Christensen uses the linesman as a screen off a faceoff.
Adam Hall wins faceoffs in his sleep.
Toskala has no chance.
1-0.

Not long after, Darcy Tucker scores and does the most outrageous goal celebration of the season. 1-1.

Calm the F down.
No question Darcy Tucker was on something.

Later, Antropov could've run blog in front of the net while trying to bang in a goal. Guess you are allowed to knock people down to free yourself this year.
2-1.

Crosby drops acid before a shift late in the second. Special performance tonight.
Recchi doesn't know what's going on and can't convert Crosby's sick passes.
At this point, it isn't going to help anyone by jumping on Recchi. He is not going anywhere.
So let's just move on.

Darcy Tucker bull-rushes Sabu.
Sabu is bleeding.

Dick

Obviously a penalty on Toronto.

Oh, wait the game is in Toronto.
That's a penalty on Orpik.

The Pens weather the storm on the PK, and just as the penalty was about to be killed...

Too many men

On that PK, Talbot draws a penalty.

Pens get the Power play.
Nothing doing.
Period ends.

......................................................

SECOND PERIOD

It was only a matter of time.
Mats Sundin is the next Leaf to park his balls in front of MAF.
That's a goal. 3-1.

Things were looking bad.
It was desperate times.
Everyone sucks. Season is a waste.
Vesa whatever is saving everything.

The Pens were distracted early on this game by seeing Tina Fey's vagina on Toskala's mask.
The clock was ticking, though.

Jason Blake almost sends the Pens home with a goal that would've made it 4-1.

And then a funny thing happened on the way to us touching ourselves.

Crosby and Sykora get sprung on an out-of-nowhere 2-on-1.
The key part of this was that Mark Recchi was nowhere near the play.
Sid's pass back to Syko jobs off a skate, but that doesn't matter. 3-2.

Call off the search.

Crosby's game was found in Toronto.

As you're putting your pants on after celebrating that goal, Roberts and Talbot dominate.
Talbot gets to the net and chops away until the light comes on. 3-3.

Two minutes ago, the Pens weren't making the playoffs.
And now they're a Stanley Cup champion. Good times.

Momentum was still strong...until Orpik got jobbed.
He was about to lay out some douchebag.
But the dude brought his stick up, and that was it.

Lights out.
He did not return.

*Side Note*
Give credit to Chris Stewart and the trainers.
Busy night tonight.

MAF made some big saves in the second period.
He was flopping around like it was his job.

The next goal was gonna be a big one.
And the Pens got it.

Ryan Malone is there.

The Staal-Malkin-Malone line might be something to talk about.

4-3.

Don't go nuts yet.
Jason Blake finally makes an appearance this season when he pops in a rebound.
He took advantage of MAF's tendency to freeze up when he doesn't know where the puck is.
4-4.

Jason Blake celebrates because he's put off his car's tired being sliced by a Leafs fan for at least another week.

Soon after, Antropov and Crosby start jobbing around.
Crosby went to the box, and he looked pissed.
The boos rain down on Bing.

That was it for the second.

.....................................................

The first half of the third period was just hockey.
Nothing really standing out.

The Pens had a power play.
Then the Leafs had one.
Back and forth, just a pleasure to watch. The Pens were getting the puck on net as much as they could.

We went into the homestretch of the third period tied at 4.
The Pens get a power play.
As usual, it looked like mud.

But late on the chance, Daryl Sydor threw the puck to the net.
Puck gets through Toskala.

Boo me now.
5-4.

After that, you knew the Leafs would be given every chance to win the game.
Malkin gets penalized for a suspect tripping call.

On the ensuing powerplay, Bryan McCabe, maybe the worst player on the ice tonight, takes a penalty.

Tick-Tock-Tick-Tock.

4-on-4 hockey goes by with nothing big.

Everything is even, but then one of the Leafs dive.
One minute to play.
Pens are shorthanded. Leafs pull goalie.

McCabe throws a bad pass through the slot.
Talbot gets it.
From way downtown.

Game.

Stats

• Bing: 2 Goals
• Talbot: 2 Goals
• Adam Hall: 2 Assists
• PP: TOR ( 0 for 6 ) --- PENS ( 1 for 8 )
  

Miscellaneous:

• Roberts: 2 Subway Sammiches in a row.
• These Toronto games are getting insane.
• Pens 50 Shots. Sick
• Only playing with five D men. Big time effort.
• Big ups to the training staff. 3 injured players tonight all should be OK.
• Ryan Malone. Best game in three years.
• Lines could stick
• Staal was out of his mind.
• Toronto has the worst defense in the NHL.
• What up with Fox sports showing a graphic about Sid getting a hat trick? That is dumb.
  

GameDay (4) - - Penguins @ Maple Leafs

7:00pm

Air Canada Centre

2-2-1

For more info on the Leafs,
Mr. Empty Netters is the place to go. [Empty Netters ]


[ Gameday chat ]

Toronto blog
[ Raking Leafs ]

...........................................

Should be a good one tonight.

You know a few things when the Pens play in Toronto.

A. It is going to be a tough game.
B. The fans will complain about every call against the Leafs, as if they are owed something.
C. Mats Sundin will score a goal.


Homo


This game is nowhere close to a mustwin.
The Pens have played three games.
If you think it is a must-win, get a life.

No question though, it has all the makings of a "yell at your TV" game.
Hopefully no one fakes a heart attack like last year.

Another big subplot:
How long is it going to take to get pissed off at Jason Blake.
We all feel bad for him, but he is such a jerkoff sometimes.
We'll see.

Lord Therrien is juggling the lines. [ PSI ]

1st Line: Recchi - Crosby - Sykora

2nd Line: Staal - Malkin - Malone

3rd Line: Roberts - Christensen - Armstrong

More Pens news:

Malkin is slowly owning the English Language. [ PG ]

"That includes his comfort level off the ice, where he is included as much as possible in locker-room talk and even jokes among teammates."

"We don't always know if he gets them, but we have some laughs,"Sidney Crosby said.

He gets the joke about him having more points than you.
Slacker.


................................

One more thing:



Vintage Jagr last night. Three assists in the first period. [Blue Shirt Bulletin ]

He is off to a good start.
Wonder why?


Yea that is the reason.


If you are interested in the WWGRD wristbands, email us.

thePensblog@gmail.com


................................

Go Pens

WWGRD WRISTBANDS -- VOTE VOTE VOTE---SOLD OUT

WE ARE NOW TAKING ORDERS FOR WRISTBANDS.

SEND AN E-MAIL TO
thepensblog@gmail.com

AND WE WILL TELL YOU ALL YOU NEED TO KNOW.

$2 PER WRISTBAND
NO S&H, NO JOBBER FEES

MAXIMUM OF 10 BRACELETS PER PERSON.

...................................................................................................


First off, a special thanks to a private investor who has made it possible for all of us to turn the wristband idea into reality.

We will just call him Ted D.

........................................................

We have been shopping around for some nice designs.
And calling people who hate their jobs and didn't care about having our business.
We would call people and ask them in-depth questions about stuff, and they really didn't care and seemed irritated.
Whatev.

We've settled on two designs.

And we've changed the company we're getting them from.
The overall price will be jacked up another $100 or so,
but the cost will remain $2 per wristband.
The order will be placed Monday.


We got these models from this site. [ Wristband Connections ]

These were made using a template so that's why the text alignment is garbage.

Notes:
Bracelets will be solid black.
The lettering will be imbedded in the wristband, and it will be colored Vegas Gold.
We veered away from a gold bracelet because it would look too much like the Livestrongs.
And a two-tone color scheme or swirl would be too busy.
Black goes with everything.

....................................................






WINNER
WINNER





B

Your Wrist Will Never Be The Same

GET A PAYPAL ACCOUNT
GET A PAYPAL ACCOUNT


( Brian Steimer )

After a few days of blasting Google's servers with searches of custom wristbands,
we settled on one that looks promising.

[ Wristbands-4-Less ]

We'll be purchasing 500 wristbands for $295 or $345, flat rate.

We expect a lot of people to buy more than one,
so we can safely estimate that we'll be sending out somewhere around 100 or so envelopes.

With envelopes, postage, and our time factored in,
a price of $2 per wristband is set in stone.

The $295 and $345 price differential is based on the kind of wristband we all want.

Sometime Friday, the website above will be sending us pictures of what two different kinds of wristbands would look like.
Everyone will vote over the weekend, and we'll submit the order on Monday.

NOTE

We'll have no problem with the initial money needed to purchase the 500 wristbands.
Due to only having 500 wristbands, we're gonna be forced to set a limit of 10 per person.

However, if you wish to contribute to the initial purchase of wristbands that we submit on Monday, you'll be considered a beast and will be able to buy more than 10.

For example:

If you contribute $100 to the initial purchase, you'll be given 50 wristbands.
If you contribute $60 to the initial purchase, you'll be given 30 wristbands.
If you contribute $71 to the initial purchase, you'll be given 35.5 wristbands.

* We will conduct this on an e-mail basis.
The first people that e-mail us and tell us how much they will front (until the totals add up to the final price) will be given this privilege.
Starting right now.
thepensblog@gmail.com

* We'll be in contact with people who will front the money and give them a PayPal account number to deposit the money into before Monday.

* After getting the PayPal account number, you'll have 12 hours exactly to deposit your amount.
If you don't, we move to the next e-mail.

We know that the whole depositing money into some terds account thing is scary.
All we can say to that is what would Gary Roberts do?

The proceeds from this will go to:

1. More bracelets if some people don't get one.
You will get one somehow. This isn't the Ice Bowl.

2. If possible, a charity chosen by the GR.
Or the Mario Lemieux Foundation.

ODDS AND ENDS

• We'll be using eBay to sell these.
• Other than the initial purchases, no pre-orders will be taken.
• We won't post the wristbands for sale on eBay until they are in our hand.
• We reiterate: A limit of 10 per person.
  
• You WILL get one.
  

........................................................................
........................................................................

Stupid fact about the NHL

We saw the Pens don't play a divisional opponent until October 20 ( Devils ).

Which team will go the longest before playing a divisional opponent?


The Sharks play the Stars on October 30, their 12th game of the season.

Of their remaining 70 games, 32 will be against the Pacific Division.

The schedule format needs changed.

..................................................................

On the topic of scheduling,
The Pens and Sens will be opening next season in Prague. [ TSN ]

Also in that article is the announcement that the NHL will be moving the start of the season to October 9th and 10th, and instead of packing games on every other day in March, it will be that way in October and November.

..................................................................

Scott Burnside ranks the 30 NHL coaches. [ ESPN ]
Therrien is at #4.

More Pens news:

Bing is like, whatev. [ PG ]

Pens send Naz down. [ Empty Netters ]

News and notes. [ Trib ]

MT was pissed the other night.
How about some 20 questions to calm him down?


...................................................................

Around the NHL



Jesse Boulerice shows some true Flyers goonage:


There have been worse hits.
Keslar is calling for a 20-game suspension. [ TSN ]


Carolina gave the Sens their first loss Thursday night.
And Ray Emery will be heading to the AHL for two games. [ TSN ]


...................................................

RBKBlog

[ Fanhouse ] found this pic of the hockey-stick chandelier in the new Reebok store.




.................................................................

JOBBING TOUR


One thing about us is we are never too far away from a good fight.

Thanks to commentor Joe W. for sending this in.

Some Washington Crapitals fan started a thread on one of the message boards down there about us. [ Capitals Message Board ]

Some highlights:

CaptnClark4ever: Try Sh**sburgh. There we go. I have mentioned my hate for the pens many times but it bears repeating. DIE PENS, DIE!!! Whew, ok I feel better now.

jettagob: Look nothing would make my life as a hockey fan better than if the best cheer of all time could happen:
In glorious union united as one voice, the Caps fan chant: Cyn - di! Cyn -di! Cyn - di! Oh that would be a riot! And it is not dirty like some other cheers I have heard...and could think of!

OldChelsea:well it is entertaining, after a fashion (and reassuring to the reader, that he/she can't be too poorly off intellectually if Guins supporters are posting those profound pearls of wisdom, as found in that blog)...and it is based within the home fandom of The Only Player That Matters, and that counts for a lot nowadays. (Personally I'm not a hater of absolutely everything Pittsburgh - I like Heinz ketchup, beans and pickles, for one thing - it's just the Guins and their Steeltown Sociopath supporter base.)

There is some good reading down there.
Some guy threatened to "light us up" if we ever show up on that board.
Whatever that means.
Guess you start thinking you can psychically hurt someone on a message board when your team doesn't win more than 30 games a season.

................................................

Speaking of jobbing

Jimmy Rixner sent us a link to the blog [ Two Minutes For Blogging ]
Whoever runs the show over there broke down the NHL teams and their fighters into classes.

He lists Laraque as the heavyweight.
Ruutu and Talbot are middleweights.

And Gary Roberts was listed as a cruiserweight.

This guy has never faced the business end of a Gary Roberts fist.

.................................................................

SCOREBLOG


6 - 0

Buffalo finally wins a game.


8 - 1

Toronto finally shows up.


5 - 3
Ottawa finally loses.


3 - 0

Devils blow.

Nashville and Phoenix played or something.

..................................................................

And finally.

No clue how we missed this.
[B94 is back]


What a horrible radio station.
But you talk mid-1990's in Pittsburgh, you talk B94.
Hopefully they can steal "Bubba" back from the Burger King he is working at.
Good times.

More good times.

Anything that goes wrong for a place that employees John Fedko, is a must read.
[ Post Gazette ]

Mr. Earle read the news from a script (no TelePrompTer) and meteorologist Scott Harbaugh offered a forecast without any maps or fancy graphics. There was no additional video, live or packaged reports or any of the other elements usually found in a normal TV newscast. Commercials aired because they are operated out of WPXI's old Television Hill facility.

What a mistake.

When the bracelets come in, the first five to be sent out are going to Fedko.

..................................................

Sorry if this was short. We've been taking care of the WWGRD.
Go Pens

Price is the Real Deal. PENS LOSE.

3 - 2

[NHL.com RECAP]

................................................

Remember that muggy July day this summer?
You were wishing for the Pens to have a game.

Well, guess what.
It is 49 degrees, raining. The Pens just lost. Tomorrow is only thursday.

Welcome to the grind, jack.

................................................

FIRST PERIOD

Crosby came out flying again, dominating.
Recchi parked in the handicapped spot and tried to score on the doorstep feed from Sid, but no dice.
All this hype about Carey Price...and if Recchi scores there, the city of Montreal shuts down.

Did you know that tonight was 22 years to the day that Patrick Roy made his professional debut?
And he made it against the Pens? And he won?
Oh my. Wow.

Who cares

By Crosby's third shift, it becomes apparent that even Sid won't be able to counteract the stench coming from Malone and Recchi.

The first power play comes in the form of a too-many-men penalty.

Do it

As has been the theme in the first two games, the number-one powerplay unit lays an egg.
The number-two unit comes out with Sykora-Roberts-Christensen and makes things happen.

Price says no.

When Mark Recchi gets the puck, you know that somehow the play will turn bad, but it's starting to get entertaining to see how he will become a woman.

Christensen gets a sweet chance. With his shot, a lot of people instinctively yelled SHOOT! when he went into the zone.
Shoooooot.....no, shoot....ah. Damn it.

Mike Komisarek slashes Sid behind the play, but the Pens had the puck when the whistle was blown, and Ryan Malone was interefering with someone.
But whatev. PP.

dick

Again, nothing happening.
A couple boomers from the point.

Everyone thought Ryder should've gotten a penalty for running over Crosby from behind.
But Crosby knows how to job.
He pushed himself back into Ryder to shield Ryder from the puck. Good no-call.

A nice subtle kick-pass by Christensen to Army, but it goes totally unnoticed by the world.
Too bad his name isn't Crosby.

Just when you think the first period will go down as the most boring period in the history of American hockey, Crosby gets stuff goin'.
Recchi and Malone were hacking away, and Crosby hits the pipe.

Hamrlik goes behind his net for 10 seconds to close out the period.
During that time, he reminds everyone that he isn't Sheldon Souray.

....................................................................

FSN gives props to the Pens equipment staff.
Because of this, we got to say hello to friend Dan Kroll, who is on the staff.

.................................................................

SECOND PERIOD

Forgive us if we're wrong, but we think Malkin's first self-induced fall came early in the second period.
He's back.

Komisarek goes back to the penalty box to work on his book.
Whitney evens it up by interfering with a Hab, even though the call was holding. No surprise though.

A lot of holding calls get missed in Pittsburgh.

4-on-4 hockey reminds us that there's people at the game.
Eaton blocks a shot with the back of his head, and MAF's flopping around like a chicken until he makes a point-blank save to end the insanity.

Nice

If you look at the replay closely, you see the shot that hit Eaton came from back and to the left, thus jerking his head forward and to the right on impact.

The Pens head back into the Montreal zone, and Malkin feeds a nice pass to Sydor.
And Sydor hits the net. That's all he's gotta do there.

Gonchar makes a nice defensive play in the slot.
Out of nowhere, Crosby takes off like a shot.
We hate to bite the hand that feeds us, but why does FSN cut to a close-up shot of Sid on a play like that?
Keep it zoomed out so we can see if he has someone to pass to and let us see the grand scheme of him dominating.

If you've been watching hockey long enough, you know there was a goal coming.

Crosby draws his 47th penalty of the year, and the Pens go on the "power play."
Oops. It is a power play.
Sheldon Souray wouldn't have shoved Crosby into Price.
Whitney with the easy rebound goal.
1-0.

The Pens come out after the goal and send Staal-Army-Hall to run cycleblog.
Staal sylars it over to Hall, but it hits the post.

Malone has a chance to tap a one-timer in, but no dice. And he pays the price.
He gets douched into the post from behind.
That's another PP.

The Pens powerplay of Sykora-Roberts-Malkin made some things happen, but that did not include lighting the lamp.

Scuderi has a balls-out shift and gets some love.
Good times.

Sydor is chillin' in the box.
On the ensuing power play, Plekanec fires a shot past MAF.

1-1.
Alexi Yashin called, he wants his turtleneck back.

What would Gary Roberts do?

He would make a blind drop-pass that leads to a turnover.
Kovalev is all by himself on the wing after a sweet pass by Plekanec.
It is a goal as soon as Kovy touches it.
2-1.
What a player.

Crosby is on the ice after the goal, and you realize how quickly the Pens could tie it.
A miscommunication behind the Habs net leaves the puck all alone with Sid lurking.
He gets it to the forehand, but Price's stick is there.

66 buries it.

That's it.

............................................................

THIRD PERIOD

Mike Yeo makes an appearance.

All offseason, we longed for the nerves that are present when going into a third period down a goal.

Sid kicks off the third period by going mach8 into the boards. Scary.

MAF makes a save, and his mask goes flying.
Scoods is there to get the puck out of the crease.

Faceoff. Pens lose it.
Save made. Rebound bounces out...right onto Andrei Markov's stick.
3 - 1.

Bad times.
Someone on LetsGoPens calls for Therrien to be fired.

But hey, just like the Pens exhibited when they came back from 4-0 against the Washington Capitals last season, they have enough firepower to come back.

On the next shift, Malkin makes a blind backhand pass right onto Talbot's stick.
That's a goal. And a big one. 3 - 2.

And on the next shift, MAF robs someone on the doorstep.
Why a "Let's Go Pens" chant doesn't start on that next shift is anyone's guess.
But our guess is the lack of student-rushers in the crowd.
Even watching the games on TV, that presence hasn't been there in the two home games.

Sykora gets on the ice and starts flying.
The puck finds its way back into the Pens zone.

Kostitsyn thinks he's all alone in the corner.

Think again.

Steiggy: The corner is not a very safe place when Roberts is around.

Errey: He's twitchin'! He's twitchin'!

Recchi-Crosby-Malkin is the Pens hero line.
Crosby and Malkin do their part and get the puck to Recchi.
Recchi leaves a trail of poop as he passes up two chances to shoot and goes behind the net.
Turnover. Puck leaves the zone.

And finally, 7:40 left, a chant gets started.
The chant gets owned 5 seconds later as the puck goes out of play.

The Pens start pressing a little more as time draws out like a blade.
Price looks unbeatable.

FSN cuts to two shots of Mario Lemieux within a minute.
We usually hate when broadcasts cut to a person's reaction, but we wouldn't mind seeing Lemieux's reaction after every play.
He is in excellent shape.

3:30 left. Tick tock.
Pens start pressing harder.
Unless Michael Ryder pulls out a Glock and shoots Gary Roberts, there won't be a penalty called the rest of the game.

Time out, homos.

MAF bolts to the bench.
1:00 left.

Malkin gets tripped up on his way to the net.
Komisarek got to the puck before getting a piece of Malkin's leg.

No question this was going to be a goal, and the whole tone of this recap would've changed.
Any fan in the NHL would want this called for their team.

No dice.

The Pens try to bang it in.
No dice. Sick.

Game.

STATS

• Crosby: 1 A
• Malkin: 1 A
• Recchi: 2 A
  
• MAF: 32 saves
• PP: Habs ( 1 for 2 ) PENS ( 1 for 5 )
  

MISCELLANEOUS

• Where was Laraque for the last half of the game?
• Carey Price is a beast.
• What's with MAF freezing up when he doesn't know where the puck is? It definitely has something to do with not knowing if the puck is underneath him and not making a sudden movement, but it led to some easy goals last season.
• There was no Subway Sammich of the game, but we all know what it was.
• Sick feeling.
• Lord Therrien was not happy after the game. [ PG ]
  

"We don't have the fire in our eyes like we did last year," Therrien said. "We need more desperation in our game, because we're not going to win many games with no desperation."

GameDay (3) -- Canadiens @ Penguins

7:30


1 - 0 - 1

GameDay Chat

Blog:
Four Habs Fans ( Game Thread )

........................................................

Pretty much all the games last season with the Habs were testicle tearers.

The key thing to look out for is the Kovalev-Grabovski-Kostitsyn line.

As commentor MummraTheEverliving pointed out, it could be aptly named the "Kovy Grabs Tits" line.

..........................................

Photoshop beast J-Schiff was going through Montreal tabloids and found pics of Habs coach Guy Carbonneau's summer vacation.


It's not an NHL season until Guy Carbonneau touches an Asian boy.

Go Pens.

Mighty Morphin Power Penguins

Ever wonder what Crosby would be like if he had Mario's size?

Or how much more dominant Rob Scuderi would be if he had some of Malkin's skill?

Yeah, we do, too.
We can't show you that. No one can.

However, we can show you what they would look like.

The following is not for the faint of heart.
(Special thanks to Pensblog Jeff for this)



=

Lecros



=

LeMalk

+
=

Stamieux


It only gets better:
+

Lamieux

Would if BGL and Crosby were brothers?

Scaraque

More favorites...







.............................................
And oh yea.

We present to you.
Team morphed Gary Roberts:



Sit down.
This only gets better.








If you thought Orpik looked like a serial murderer before...

Oh, by the way...


You're welcome

........................................................
........................................................
........................................................

GENERICIZED TRADEMARKS

Yep, that's what they're called.
Cleveland Dan tracked down the Wikipedia page. [ Wiki ]

Allen wrench
Rollerblades
Cellophane
Mace
AstroTurf
Polaroid
Saran Wrap

Boobloads of more on the Wiki page. It's staggering.

............................................

PENS

Crosby's slapshot to the foot has gone under the radar since Saturday.

But he practiced Tuesday morning and is expected to play Wednesday night.
He took some shots off the foot and is ready to crap on people. [ PG ]

A team spokesman for the Pens says there are tickets still available for pretty much every home game this year.
The only problem is, they're all basically single seats. [ PG ]

............................................



...Come on down.
Rookie Carey Price is starting Wednesday night when the Habs come to town. [ TSN ]

...If you remember last year, Saku Koivu basically tried to slice Orpik's throat with his skate while the two were on wrestling on the ice in a game at the Mellon late last season.
Well, that little rivalry was bolstered in the preseason this year, when Army leveled Koivu.
It's something to watch for. [ PG ]

..............................................................................

Scoreblog


7 - 1


Poor Vesa

Jason Blake was in the lineup and almost scored his first goal as a Leaf.
But as you can see, Carolina was all business.
Seven different players scored goals for the Canes.



..............................................................

Around the NHL

Gretzky is selling personal items to benefit a couple of schools. [ TSN ]
Hate him or hate him, he's still a decent human.

Unbeknownst to many, Gretzky even has his own wine. [ Calgary Sun ]


It's made with actual tears from his 1988 press conference.

Almost forgot:



.........................................................

RBKBlog



Chris at Tournament of Logos needs help.
He wants to do a tournament of best center-ice layouts.
If anyone has a good shot of Mellon Arena's center ice, give him a look. [ NHLToL ]


Also, the NHL Powered by Reebok Store will be open for business on October 12th. [ NHL.com ]



..................................................

Speaking of uniforms, John Buccigross jobs Roenick and the Sharks in his latest column. [ ESPN ]

" Upon further review, the San Jose Sharks are wearing arguably the ugliest uniforms in any team sport in the history of team sports. When I see these Sharks uniforms on television, I think I'm watching a skit from "Full House" in which Joey Gladstone goes five-hole on a stumbling Uncle Jesse. These Sharks are so 1991.
These things need to be put into a dumpster, set on fire and rolled down a mountain as soon as possible. Then again, maybe that's why Jeremy Roenick is off to a good start. He thinks it's actually 1991. "

SLAM

Six things we already know for the new season ( in the column ):

• Jerseys
• Roenick
• Blackhawks
• Senators
• Rangers
• Mick McGeough
  

............................................................

If anyone recalls this news from earlier in the offseason, whatev.
The Islanders have set aside a "Blog Box" at the Nassau Coliseum, where bloggers have a spot in the press box to blog about the games.

As Fanhouse discovered, bloggers are getting jobbed and not seen as real journalists. [ Fanhouse ]
It was an interesting read to us for obvious reasons.

Probably the worst thing the Penguins could do (besides seeing us as real journalists) is give us access to players and coaches.

Case in point:

................................................

Don K. Show sent this in.


If we had $105 lying around, we could order a bulk of these.



Go Pens.

......................................

Leafs -- Will Smith
Marty -- Karri

WWGRD

Days like these are as exciting as a Barenaked Ladies CD.

Nothing going on.

As a lot of people have said this already.

Best wishes go out to Jason Blake, who has cancer.[ TSN ]
No one wants to see that.
Get well soon.

...........................................

PENS Links

Bing didn't skate today. [ Sidney Crosby Show ]

Scuds is steady as it goes. [ Post Gazette ]

As [ PSI ] points out. Thursday will be the 40 anniversary of Pens first game.

Tons of good photoshop goodies in today:
Photoshops


Evan Godfrey ||||| Brian Steimer


JM Gillam and MG Jones

Keep them coming.

..........................................................

Thanks to reader Dave for pointing this out.

CBSsportsline is holding a jersey logo tournament. [ CBS ]

Uh.

Guess within the million page views that [ NHL Logos ] got this summer, no one at CBSsportsline logged on.
Morons.

....................................




The Nashville Mayor is now saying a plan is in place to save the Preds. [ Nashville Post ]
.......................................................

Speaking of Mayors.

WTF is going on with Luke Ravenstahl?
Now we always make it a point to stay out of politics, because our struggle to just get out of bed in the morning is enough.

But it seems like every time you turn on the TV, Ravenstahl is getting jobbed.
Good times.

Apparently Ravenstahl was in the New York Times or something complaining about watching the Steelers game in peace. [ Burgh Report ]

Then he accused some WPXI reporter of stalking him. [ WPXI ]

Like we said.
We have no idea. It just seems like a possible meltdown could occur.

We are voting Gary Roberts for Mayor.

Luke lost our vote because of this:


What a joke.
If he was a real man. He would've taken a poop on the Jersey.

.....................................................

Slow news days and a small slate of games means Recapblog.


2 - 1

No dance for the Isles today.


The battle of unbeatens?
Uh-oh. The Craps are 3-0. [ DC Cheap Seats ]
They are perfect on the penalty kill this season.


The Pens will be in Washington on October 20.
Plenty of good seats available.


4 - 2

A changing of the guard.
Any other season, you would click the NHL scoreboard and see the Devils beat the Senators 3-1 and break the undefeated season.

But nope. The Devils aren't the Devils anymore.
The Sens are now 11-0 including the preseason. [ TSN ]
And Emery isn't even in goal yet. That's scary.
And they are still perfect on the PK.

The Devils have started the season 1-2-0, and they have 6 more road games to play before their arena is ready for business.


4 - 2

The big news from this game was Chris Chelios playing in his 1,550th career game. [ NHL ]

Picture: Former Chelios linemate Orville Reddenbacher celebrates the news.
He then manipulates a little boy in a pile of pop corn.
What a queer.

................................................


The only thing you don't see in that, is any recent Stanley Cup Banners.

That YouTube sent our balls into research mode.

ZamboniBlog

Basically, not every Zamboni is actually a Zamboni.

The maker of the product has fallen victim to the same thing that products like Kleenex, Jell-O, and Q-Tips have, where a certain product is always referred to an actual brand name.
( We were racking our brain for more. Any others? )

The Zamboni is a brand name, and not all ice-resurfacers are made by Zamboni.
But guess what. It's a zamboni.
The company has tried to distance themselves from the brand identity, but it is futile.

Here is the Wikipedia page that details the technology of a Zaomboni. [ Wiki ]


Unreal.

..............................................

Go Pens.

The Niña, The Pinta, and The Malkin

The best thing about hockey that isn't present in other sports is the feeling that, only two games into the season, it feels like we've been doing this for a while.

The first week for the Pens was normal.
A bad loss, a good win.
It is just good to be back.

Lines are still an issue. [ Post Gazette ]

No question we have to keep Malkin and Sykora together.

(J-Schiff )

You want to talk about everything being connected...
Joe Starkey with great insight into a Eddie Johnston- Ray Shero connection [ Trib ]

Rather, Johnston, then a goaltender in the Montreal Canadiens' organization, introduced teammate/assistant coach Fred Shero to the sister of a woman Johnston was dating. "Fred told me after their first date, 'I'll marry that girl,' " Johnston said. "And it wasn't long before he did." Five years later, Fred and Mariette Shero had a son named Rejean, or Ray, the Penguins' current general manager. The late Fred Shero became a hockey legend coaching the Philadelphia Flyers.

E.J. should be on Heroes.

..................................................
Big ups to reader Mike Costa.
He is in this picture that we mentioned of the moron with a Dan Krieder shirt.




Solid socks.

..................................

EJ Hradek has a nice little piece on Crosby. [ ESPN ]

Also on ESPN, you can watch some photoshoot of the new Rangers Chris Drury and Scott Gomez for The Mag. [ESPN]

Whatev.

..................................................
Storyblog

James Jack, a New Yorker who is a huge pens fans emailed us with a nice story.

I got up at 4am on Saturday, got in the Jeep, drove over to my brothers in law house and picked them up. Got on the road at about 5:30am and made it to Pittsburgh by 2pm. Hung around the city for a little while, got some lunch, hit the bar for some cocktails and then headed to the game.

Watched the Pens take their first win of the season, waited till the 3 stars of the game were announced and then got back into the Jeep and got right back on the road and got back to New York by 7am. That, is what we call dedication to our team. Born and raised in New York.....surrounded by asshole Ranger and Islanders fans.....but I stay true to my boys.

I proudly wear my Pens jersey's to Madison Square Shit Hole when the Pens are in town; as well as over at Nassau Coliseum when their playing the Islanders.

Just wanted to share that with you. Just to prove my loyalty, I've attached a picture of the plates on my ride here in New York.....I think you guys can appreciate them!

Stuff like that makes us all proud to be Pens fans.

......................................




Kevin Lowe gets a 4-year extension.
Fitting picture.

Oiler blogs speak out. [Covered in Oil ]



Terrible turn for the worst in Nashville.
Looks like KC may get a team after all. [ Kansas City ]

But Balsillie has nothing to do with it.

Get an iPhone, dick.



Look who was at the Kings game on Saturday night:

If they wanted to go to a sporting event on Saturday night just to be seen, they could have went to the USC game.

If you'll recall:

The fact they like hockey makes Heroes even better.
Hopefully, The Haitian becomes a Pens season-ticket holder.


Tough times.
First the Cubs get smoked.
Now, Martin Havlat is hurt.
The doctors have no clue what is going on. Big mess. [ Chicago Sun Times ]


Sean Avery is out for four weeks. [ TSN ]
This all thanks to Chris Neil:

Ouch




The Craps are 2-0. They are talking playoffs.
Can't wait to eliminate them in April. [ Japers Rink ]


You won't be able to see Mats Sundin's wong. Or any other Maple Leafs players naked [ FanHouse ]

The Leafs have banned all mini recording devices in the lockeroom.

One of the exeuctives who brought the hammer down had this to say:
"It comes down to the fact that I don't want to see naked images of my players on YouTube."

If you wanted to help us out, you could take down the more offensive material on YouTube of your team playing a game of hockey.

.............................................

Personalblog

We have never actually been in a locker room for official reasons.
But when Pensblog Derek was in college, he took a class that involved sports writing.
One assignment was to go to a Penguin game and treat it as if he were a beat writer.
The teacher was a writer for the Post-Gazette and provided press passes.

It was a game against the Tampa Bay Lightning in 2003.
Marc-Andre Fleury's last game up until he was sent down.

To make a long story short, after going into the Pens locker room and getting stared down by Mark Madden and Tim Bentz for interviewing Fleury, Derek made his way to the Lightning locker room.

While standing in line waiting to talk to someone, he mistakenly turned his head.
Coming out of the bathroom area was a completely nude Marty St. Louis.

The last thing we'll say about this.
The only thing short about Marty St. Louis is his height.
Think Dirk Diggler.

Pensblog Derek has been scarred for life.

We'll spare the haters the trouble:
"Hee her hee her, you're talking about players' wangs.
You guys are gay lol!!1 Go Steelers."

.......................................................

Chris Campoli and Rick DiPierto are doing a little celebration after every victory.
Can't wait till DiPietro lands and breaks his leg.

You would think that the Islanders would be doing a rain dance.

Least I don't have to pay taxes dicks.

........................................

Speaking of jobbing Indians...

Today is Columbus Day:


Very interesting reads about Columbus Day. [ Wikipedia ]

Columbus Day is not celebrated in the state of Minnesota. However, some city offices in Minneapolis were closed in 2006, as well as libraries across the Twin Cities.^[4] In the state of South Dakota, the day is officially a state holiday known as "Native American Day", not Columbus Day.^[5] Columbus Day is not a legal holiday in Nevada, but it is a day of observance. Schools and state, city and county government offices are open for business on Columbus Day.^[6]

Minnesota hates Chris Columbus.

Denver had some protest about him, too. [ AP ]

Don't hate Christopher Columbus, hate the game.
Plus, if he hated Indians, one of his ships would have been named "Indians blow."

...............................................

Steelersblog

Great win for the Steelers Sunday.
We are tired of fighting with homo Steeler fans about everything.
We are Steeler fans as well. End of story.

What we aren't fans of, are Steeler fans who jump onto the blog now and cannot see we are joking.


Brett and Tawm celebrate the big win on Sunday.

So we are censoring our Steeler coverage.

See? No idea who that is.
Babies.

If we wanted people to tell us how to write, we'd get advertisers.

Go Pens

Sitting Ducks. PENS WIN.

5 - 4

[NHL.com RECAP]

As huge as a win gets in early October.
No one is looking for bridges tonight.

Petr Sykora is better than anyone could have imagined.
Recchi is worse than anyone could have imagined.

Nice crowd on hand.

Before we get into anything, check this out:

Seemingly normal picture.

Did you look close? Left-hand corner.

Now, wearing a Steelers shirt to a Pengins game is dumb.
But...
Wearing the number of the Steelers now backup fullback Dan Krieder.
That is unreal.

And the icing on the cake:
This person had tickets to the Pens home opener, and 99% of us did not.

Let's move on.

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Pregame:

Stan Savarn interviews Ray Shero.
Shero shuts Savarn down, as Savarn keeps asking about the Pens chances to win a Stanley Cup.

That's why Shero is money in the bank.

Potash dominates his interview Lord Therrien.
"'Adam Halls' will get the start tonight."

..........................

Opening night intro was nice.
Could have done without U2.

The on-ice intros were solid, as well.
Except the awkward part where Ruutu was announced, but he didn't come out.
He was already in the box.

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FIRST PERIOD

The Ducks came out flying early.
The Pens maintained much like they did against Carolina.
Not a lot happening in the first few minutes.

Sames lines basically, minus Ruutu.
Mark Recchi commits seven turnovers and is slowly becoming Pensblog whipping boy.

The second line (at the beginning of the game) might be the worst line in hockey.

Pens get a power play on a weak call on some Ducks jobber.
Refs make up with a equally douchey call on Malkin.

The best part about these referee pics is the detail the artist put in the crotch.
Somone actually zoomed in on the crotch to add whatever that is there.

Crosby takes a devastatingly hard slapshot off the foot.
Balls/Ovaries fall from crotches all over Pens nation.
Lest we forget, Crosby played in the playoffs last year with a broken foot.

No one watching the game even cared that the play continued.
All eyes were on Sid.
He finished the rest of the game, so hopefully he is ok.

Anaheim may be the best cycling team on Earth.
Can't help but give them credit.

Ryan Malone show up long enough to take a penalty so he can see some puck bunnies by the penalty box.

The Ducks power play is nasty. They pass it around like no one is there.
Puck goes in front.
Dwayne Robertson from D2 puts it home.

1-0.
Holy shit, that looks like Malkin.

At that point, it's starts to become a little worrisome.
But Adam Hall gets things started.
He works like a madman. Draws a penalty.

The first powerplay unit looks like your grandparents banging.

Bring it.

But never fear. The solid second unit comes out.
Sydor keeps the puck in.
Crusher walks out of the corner.
Puck on net.
You know what the means...

Puck jobs around.
Roberts gives two Ducks the shocker.
Petr Sykora finds it somehow.

1-1.

They went to the War Room to review the goal, but it was fine.

Interestingly enough, NHL.com had someone blogging from the war room.
Good reading here. [ NHL.com]

Towards the end of the period, Mark Eaton has an emotional shift.
Lays his life on the line.

What a player.

Blood on his face. Comes right back out.

First ends.

.......................

Potash interviews Sykora.
Good times.

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SECOND PERIOD

The second starts out rough.
Pens dazed, can't get the puck out.

Ryan Getzlaf is disgusting.
His shot cannot be comprehended.

2-1.

Therrien makes a little line change, and it pays off.

Roberts, now playing with Army and EC, gets the puck up to Army on a sweet pass.
Colby makes a sick move flipping the puck to his right and then tipping the puck over the Ducks jobber goalie.

"That's why Colby was picked in the first round." - Steigerwald. Okay, man.

Ron Cook loved it. [ Post Gazette ]

2-2.

Before you can readjust your balls, Sykora was now playing with Malkin.
Finds Evgeni in front.

3-2.

The intensity picks up. And the Ducks start coming hard.
MAF makes his best save of the night on a bouncing puck.

Towards the end of the period, Malkin doesn't get a puck in deep.
Errey and Steigy flip out, jobbing Malkin.
Enough is enough on that.
No idea why Errey hates Malkin.

And as far a Steigerwald goes, worry about doing your job:

Scuderi is number 4.
Sydor is number 5.

Get that right, and then start worrying about what Malkin should do.

Bring back Mike Lange, or at least fix the delay on the radio.
WOOOOOO!

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THIRD PERIOD

Fox Sports shows Mike Yeo.

Slow third period to begin with.
A lot of whistles.

Pens get a powerplay midway through.
The first unit now looks like your grandma having a lesbian experience.

If there's someone reading this who immediately thinks this means the unit looked good, you are not alone, my friend.

Adam Banks steals a puck, after some bad passing, walks in all alone.
Fleury misses the poke check.

Owned. 3-3.

Everything looks bad, but the Pens respond.

BGL comes out with Malkin and Sykora.
Beautiful cycle.
Laraque gets the puck to the net.

Petr Sykora is everywhere.

4-3.
The Pens celebration of this goal is why we run Pensblog.

Before you could pick your boobs, Sid gets the puck.
Vintage Bing pass to Ryan Malone.
Ryan Malone gets the puck on his stick, all alone in the slot, and KNOWS he has to bury this golden chance.

5-3.

Chris Pronger = stunned.

Paul Steigerwald: The Ducks goalie [Hiller] is swedish. You don't see a lot of Swedish goalies because of all the Swiss cheese from over there.

...........what...............

Let's move on from that.

Paul Steigerwald does mention that Sykora and Marty Straka are from the same hometown.
That as solid of a town as it gets.

Everything slows down again, and the Ducks look totally drained.
Goalie pulled. Pens forgot to play defense.
5-4.

And that sick feeling creeps into your balls.
It's the worst feeling in the world, but having that feeling means you actually care about something.

After a frantic moment late, Fleury says no.

Game.

STATS

• Syko: 2 G, 1 A
• Roberts: 2 A
• Malkin: 1 G, 1 A
• Sid: 1 A
• MAF: 19 saves.

MISCELLANEOUS

• Only 23 shots given up. Nice.
• Georges Laraque has come to play this season.
• Wins like this will give Mellon Arena the reputation as being a tough building to play in.
• Scuds has been solid thus far. Assist tonight.
  
• Eaton was a big deal tonight.
• Did Staal play?
• Recchi totally tripped that dude. No reason to complain to the officials.
  
• George Parros didn't play because he is scared of BGL
  

..........................

Shero Coin -- Lloyd Jones
Eaton -- Dave P.
Roberts Neighborhood -- Andrew W.

GameDay (2) Ducks @ Pens

7:30pm

[GameDay Chat]

Broadcast:
TV-Fox Sports Net
Radio-WXDX [105.9]


Sopcast info. [P2P]
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We were talking with Big Earl over at [ Battle of California ]

He says look for the Pens power play to have their way with the Ducks.
The Ducks have given up 10 goals this year. 8 on the power play.
And the Ducks are drained. This is already their fifth game.

The Ducks lost 4-0 to Columbus last night.

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Last Nightblog

Hopefully everyone has cooled down. Nothing worse than getting dominated on opening night.
But as commentor Stoosh said.
If that was a game in the middle of the season, no one would of cared that much.

Stat of the night:
Mark Recchi: 18:21 minutes of ice time
Erik Christensen: 13:36 minutes of ice time

We don't hate Mark Recchi, solid NHL player.
But those minutes need to be swtiched.
Rex is getting up there.

(Vintage J Schiff)


But hey, we run a blog.
We don't coach.
So whatev.

For more info on the game tonight. [Empty Netters ]


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Photoblog



He looks like he just murdered someone.












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Sit back and enjoy.



GO PENS

At Least They Got A Goal. PENS LOSE.

4 - 1

NHL.com RECAP

We compared tonight to Christmas.
This game was like waiting all year for Christmas Eve only to be awaken by Santa Claus peeing on your face.

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A quick call to arms.
If anyone captured the game on their computer,
please send us the screenshot of Gary Roberts' eyes from the opening intro.

We will rename the blog for one day in your honor.

UPDATE:



....................................................

FIRST PERIOD


Thanks to commentor Thomes08 who was at the game and took this with his phone.

Sid came flying out of the gate like a pure monkey.
The first 45 seconds of the game was the Sidney Crosby Show. ( Apologies to any bloggers out there who already own that...hmm... )

Sick

We find out early on that the Hurricanes fans still boo Orpik.
The whole crowd wasn't ready for it the first time.
And then the rest of the fans stopped touching each other and joined in the booing.

If anything, it is a shame Orpik didn't injure Cole worse.

Out of nowhere, Christensen got to move in point-blank.
It doesn't matter that he didn't score because he hit the post.
That sound should be the national anthem.

Somehow the Pens get a penalty for something.
Hate to job the refs, but that's a mud call.

But the PK unit was a big deal, shutting everything down to the perimeter.
On that PK, we hear the boom of MAF's pads on a save. Hockey's back.

Gary Roberts' first hit -- 6:17 of the first period.

Pensblog Jeff in Korea felt it.

All this anticipation for the season, and 6:00 into the first period, you don't even know it's opening night anymore.

Oh, no.
MAF makes a save, but the rebound bounces into Georgia.
Eric Staal is there. Goal. 1 - 0.

Fist-pump/wooooooo!
It runs in the family.

The RBC Center announcer has to stop to learn to read and then announces the goal five minutes later.

The linesmen screaming "no ice, no ice!"
Ahh.

The first period crawls.

Pens get puck.
Hurricanes clutch and grab.
Carolina carries puck:

Offside.

Pens get puck.
Rob Brindamour tackles someone.
Carolina carries puck.

Offside.

Pens get puck.
Some jobber hooks.
Carolina carries puck:

Offside.

Carolina was offsides at least 41 times in the first period.

Later...

We get to see Sykora's release on a one-timer.
Holy hell. Holy hell.

Orpik turns in the worst shift of his career.
He pinches, but Cole pokes it by him.
Then Orpik goes back and Staal jobs it off his skate and into the net.
2 - 0.
If it doesn't get past Orpik, he would be praised. Whatev.

GameBreak. Pens trainers rush to the locker room to get Evgeni Malkin some tylenol.

His back has to be killing him, carrying Malone and Recchi.

The Pens get their first power play.
The Canes PK gave them little room to operate.
Late in the powerplay, Sykora gets set up insanely by Sid, but he is denied.
Those setups will be coming all season.

Ruutu gets penalized for being the man.
And, of course, Jordan Staal shows up out of nowhere with a decent shorthanded chance.
Stoned.

The rest of the first was poop.

..............................................................................

It good to see Dan Potash during the intermission.
We have to e-mail him, but the only explanation for him wearing glasses has to be because he looked into Gary Roberts' eyes for 10 straight seconds during an interview and injured his retinas.

Ron Francis oozes charisma.

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SECOND PERIOD

As we stated before, the second period begins and you forget it's opening night.

The Pens start attacking on the 4-on-4.
Honestly, seriously, Sidney Crosby is better this year.
He sets up everyone but no dice.

Erik Christensen was on acid for a while.

Sid jobs Brindamour on a faceoff and gets a penalty.
It is truly a shame Brindamour has to resort to diving at this point in his career.
Sid unloads his first f-bomb of the season in the box.

Dick

MAF makes his first big save of the season on the ensuing PK.

Damn it, Roberts.
He had a chance to make up for the worst shift of Recchi's career with a goal, but he fanned on it.
What a pass by Malkin. No need to do the saucer pass there, but that's just sick.

Staal-Crosby-Malkin graces the ice.
The bullyhoo surrounding Therrien's lines lasted about 64 Earth minutes.

Oh, no.
Andrew Ladd jobs one from in front of the net after the puck bounced around like a homo.

3 - 0.
You'd celebrate like that, too, if you only score 5 goals a year.
Dick.
Sid is jacked.

The rest of the second, it becomes more and more obvious that the Pens aren't winning this game.
It also becomes apparent Mark Recchi will play 30 minutes a game.

Oh, no.
The dreaded shot from the point.
Doesn't matter what it deflects off of. It's a goal.

4-0.

At that point, wishing bad things on Rod Brind'amour just becomes second nature.

Malkin gets a breakaway, but forgets the opposing team doesn't want him to shoot.
He gets a jobber shot off, and there's Sykora to bang at the rebound. No dice.

Cam Ward played out his mind all night.
Man, he must have a good goalie coach.