Gary Roberts + Van Halen = Gold

Enjoy
Go Pens

And So It Begins

Game time.

But someone forgot to pay the bills.
The lights wouldn't come on at game time, and the game was suspended for about 30 minutes.

Mike Cammalleri scores two goals for the Kings, as they beat the Ducks 4-1.

If this is the NFL, ESPN would give us a stat of a defending champion losing their first game of the next season and what has happened to the last 15 teams that did it.
Gay.

The game saw 18 penalties.
Recap

........................................................................

The leading scorer in the preseason?


Joe Pavelski: 200-point season.
Write it down.

......................................

Shawn Roarke gives us 82 reasons to rejoice in hockey's return. [ NHL.com ]

1. Pittsburgh’s Sidney Crosby taking the next step on his journey to greatness. Can he reach 147 points this season, which would mean he accomplished the same 27-point increase Wayne Gretzky had from his second season to his third?

8. The outdoor game in Buffalo on New Year’s Day. It sold out in mere minutes and features Crosby against goalie Ryan Miller of the Sabres. What better way to kick off a new year?

48. Speaking of Jordan Staal, what’s better than watching the teenager kill penalties in that relentless hound-dog style that netted him a rookie record of seven shorthand goals.

oh, and.....

59. Running into old friends at rinks across the country –- be they sportswriters, team personnel or players.

Someone forgot their target audience.

.....................................................................

Canadiens vs. Blues for all the marbles in the Tournament of Logos.
Give it a vote. [ NHLToL ]

There was big-league jobbing going on over there.
Some turd jumped in and rigged the voting, giving Montreal 60,000 votes.

It was probably some moron who thought he would make a difference in the world by rigging a poll on the internet.

Also...............


That guy from that website found this on SportsLogos.net as a submitted secondary logo for the Vancouver Canucks.

But wait.


It appears the logo for some Hostess-like company seeped into the subconscious of whoever designed the logo.

And someone decided to play on the "VANCOUVER" print on the new Canucks jersey.


What a jobber.

.........................................................

Oh, yeah, the Pens played Saturday night and lost.
They finish the preseason 1-3-2.


4 - 3

[ TSN ]

Game


Not much to talk about.
Everyone is a little too worked up about the defense.

Let's all take a deep breath.

And please.

If you think Danny Markov is still coming, you're a mess.

Picture: Danny Markov not playing for the Penguins.

Get used to it.

If the Penguins sign Markov, we will suspend ourselves for two days.

...........................................................................

BettmanBlog

What is it about major sports-league commissioners that makes everyone want to kill them and see their lives ruined?

In the Florida Panther season preview, we let a comment go through that was a spam comment that directed everyone to go buy Bettman-hate t-shirts.

FireBettman.com is a site that is so poop that we actually tried wiping our computer screen with toilet paper instead of hitting the back button.

a) Who has enough hatred for another man to start a blog about him?
b) Be glad the NHL is back and stop complaining about things you have no control over.
c) If Jesus Christ was the commissioner of the NHL, someone would start FireJesus.com.
d) To our chagrin, no one has some weird goth site at FireJesus.com or FireChrist.com.

We have so much faith that people care more about watching hockey than touching themselves over Gary Bettman's management of the league, we're gonna link the shirts.


More colors are available, so we suggest getting one with a red background so that the blood from people smacking you in the mouth for being a moron will blend in.

Bettman shirts at CafePress

In a related story, BusinessWeek released their list of Top 100 Power People in Sports.

Bettman came in at number 27.

Number 400,356,000,786,143,962 is the guy from FireBettman.com.

.............................................

We have another unreal site courtesy of the boys at [ Faceoff Factor ]

WhatIfSports.com.
Pit any two teams in history against each other in an algorithm's wet dream.

Our initial urge was to do the 1993 Pens/Isles series.
But who wants to even think about that.

So we tackled the 1996 Panthers/Pens series.


Sad.

Game 1 Box Score
Pens win 4-3 on a late goal by Neil Wilkinson.

Game 2 Box Score
Nedved with 2 goals in a 5-1 win.

Game 3 Box Score
Pens win 5-3.

Game 4 Box Score
Panthers stave elimination with a 3-2 win.

Game 5 Box Score
Lemieux scores 5 seconds in. Registers a hat trick in the first period.
Pens win 7-5, clinch series.

That's as real as it gets.
Nedved was a machine in this series.

Yeah, and Dave Roche had 30 minutes of ice time in game 5.
That surpasses his career total.

Homo

.......................................................................



OPENING FACEOFF COUNTDOWN

Seriously...5 days...

NCAA FOOTBALL GAMECLOCK ANALYSIS

..............................................................

.....................................................



13:21 of gameplay compared to 13:08 in the NFL.
The lack of disparity between the numbers obviously means--
We know you're not stupid. You know what it means.

But an NCAA primetime game on ESPN brings us 20 minutes less of commercial time than an NFL game.

And that's it.
So long football.

Out Of Time. Pens Lose

6 - 5


sick

If this was a regular season game.
Getting out of bed the next morning would have been hard.
But since it was a preseason game.
Whatev.

Evgeni Malkin almost tied the game with no time on the clock.
But no dice.

Game.

• Danny Sabourin was mud
• Daryl Sydor was directly responsible for three goals. Its still early. But wow not good times there.
  
• If last night was any indication Evgeni Malkin and Sidney Crosby may become unstoppable at times. Malkin was insane. Crosby was a step above.
  
• The Sabres might not be as bad as everyone thinks.
• EC with a sick move on the breakaway.
• Crosby got boarded. Sick.
  
• Gonch was solid.
  

All-in-all it was a fun game to watch. But it is still preseason.
Drop the puck already.

Pens vs Sabres tonight.
But it is a Helen Keller game so don't worry about it.

......................................
Opening Day



Kings vs Ducks
London

Watch it live. [ NHL.Tv ]


........................................
The amount of NHL season previews hitting the internet is bound to make everyone's testicles fall off and ovaries explode.

Eric McErlain from [ OffWing ] takes care of the NHL stuff for Deadspin. [ Deadspin ]

Fanhouse and their dream team of humans did their predictions. [ FanHouse NHL ]

ESPN goes all flash on us with their crap. [ Espn ]

Barry Melrose:



Melrose jobs Fluery.
"He is not a top flight NHL goalie."

Not to be homers but come on.
That statement is why Melrose is an analyst and not a coach.
We could go on and on about how Fluery had 40 wins last season. But its not worth getting mad about a guy who doesn't do his homework.

.............................................


Steve Downie was given a 20-game suspension by the NHL.
If he even plays in the NHL this year. [ TSN ]

If he goes down to the Phantoms in the AHL, he may not even have to serve the suspension.
That would be a joke.



The Ducks have given the "C" to Chris Pronger. [ TSN ]
Nobody cares.


The NHL will be suing MSG $100,000 per day if they don't give the league complete control over the Rangers' website and other crap.
Does the NHL have the right to control all marketing, promotions, and website production of every NHL team? [ TSN ]


Look out.
Brent Sopel has left the Wings and joined the Blackhawks. [ TSN again ]
This brings the Blackhawk's total of roster players that people know to around 5.

.........................................

Did the Worldwide Leader of Homos censor John Buccigross? [ Fanhouse ]
This dominant column of his alluded strongly to the fact that the NHL on ESPN is close to being a reality.

"NHL players want it, the NHL wants it and ESPN wants it," Buccigross wrote, "NBC and Versus somewhat holds the cards however, so we will have to wait and see; but my guess is yes. ESPN will have a piece of the pie."

But not anymore.
Apparently, the ESPN big jimmies saw it, and that section has now been 1984'd from the column.

..............................................



OPENING FACEOFF COUNTDOWN

Do It

Pens TV

Capitals Suck... Washington Capitals Season Preview

Surprise, surprise we sent numerous emails to Capitals bloggers and got no response.
No biggie though.
Capital fans can't read anyway.

Division: Southeast
2006-07: Sucked
Playoffs: Yea right

Season Preview:




Go Pens

Thrash And Burn. Atlanta Thrashers Season Preview

Next up, we go straight down to the A-T-L.

The Falconer from [ Do Thrashers Have Large Talons ] brings us the scoop from hotlanta.

Division: Southeast
2006-07:(43-28-11) 97 Points
Playoffs: 3rd seed, jobbed by Rangers in first round

Player to Watch:

Ilya Kovalchuk
(42G-34A-76pP)


Last Season
The Atlanta Thrashers finished atop their division but it was a roller
coaster ride. The team took advantage of a weak schedule in the first
half and built a nice lead in the division, only to see that lead slip
away as they faced better opponents in January and February. The team
acquired four key veterans (Eric Belanger, Alexi Zhitnik, Keith
Tkachuk, Pascal Dupuis) and got back on a roll in March and April to
finish with their first division title in team history and their first
ever playoff appearance. The joy ride came to a quick end though as
they were swept (although several of the games were 1 goal losses).
Last season's team was extremely average--the Thrashers finished tied
for 15th out of 30 teams in offense (GFA) and 15th out of 30 on defense
(GAA).

This Season
The city will host the NHL All Star game hopefully more playoff games
in the spring. Here some key changes for the team:
1) Major Shift at Defense: The Thrashers will see more roster turnover
of any Eastern playoff team other than the Islanders. Last year the
team started with Sutton, de Vries, Vishnevski and Hnidy on the
blueline. Those players have all departed their replacements are
Zhitnik, Klee, Enstrom, Popovic. Last year the team ranked just 25th in
shots against and they gave up far too many high quality shots on goal.
Improvement in that area would provide a major boost to the 2007-07
season.

2) Youth Movement: Four rookies have made the squad after the final
roster cuts. Brett Sterling was AHL rookie of the year and had nothing
left to prove there. He was a top scorer (Hobey Baker finalist) in
college and the AHL can he do it the NHL playing along side Ilya
Kovalchuk? Tobias Enstrom was one of the top defensemen in the Swedish
Elite League last year and has displayed terrific puckhandling skills
in the pre-season (poolies and fantasy players take note if he is put
on the 1st PP unit). Bryan Little was a 1st round pick who finished
near the top of the OHL scoring race and will try to make the jump
straight to the NHL, his game is still maturing so he may not make a
huge impact immediately. Mark Popovic is a steady stay at home
defensemen who has been close to making the NHL for a couple of
seasons, likely a 7th defensemen on the depth chart. The biggest
concern is that the three offensive rookies are all on the small side
which may hurt in the hitting department.

3) Special Teams
The PK unit was a disaster at times last season, but the addition of
Perrin and Dupuis could improve that area drastically. Hossa and Kozlov
receive regular SH ice time so expect them to get a few SH points. Last
year the PP unit got stale and very predictible, Enstrom might provide
the puck distribution that was missing last year after Marc Savard left
via free agency but it is unclear if he will be a regular on the PP
unit at this moment. Kovalchuk, Hossa, Kozlov and Zhitnik are locks to
play on the 1st PP unit.

4) Goaltending: Last year the Thrashers defense was among the worst in
the league at preventing shots. Starter Kari Lehtonen responded by
raising his SV% from .906 to .912 which ranked him 14th among league
starters. If the defense allow fewer high quality shots or Lehtonen is
able to take another step forward and crack the top 10 in SV% the team
will be in good shape. The backup netminder Hedberg was solid and Coach
Hartley indicated he will try to use a more regular goalie rotation
this coming season.

Likely Lines: The biggest question is where Little and Holik will play.

Hossa-Holik/Little-Kozlov
Kovalchuk-White-Sterling
Larsen-Perrin-Dupuis
Thorburn-Slater/Holik-Boulton

Havelid-Zhitnik
Klee-Exelby
McCarthy-Enstrom
Popovic

Projection: Personally I think that once you get past the top four or
five teams, the Eastern Conference is insanely competitive. I think the
Thrashers current roster could finish as high as 6th and as low as
10th. The team is also way under the cap so there is room to acquire
more talent if ownership wants to do in that direction again at the
trading deadline. Where the Thrashers end up will all come down to
injuries, luck and surprises (both good and bad). If their key guys are
healthy I think that they make the playoffs.

.............................................

Pensblog Take

We hate to brag but last year we told you Atlanta was going to win the Southeast.

That may not happen this year, but they should still be solid.
Alot of people have completely forgotten about Kovalchuk, and he had a down year.
The Thrashers defense is shaky, and in a now half-way decent divsion.
They might have missed their chance to make a run last year.

Sugar Canes.. Carolina Hurricanes Season Preview

We are heading down to old Tabacco road.
Bob from [ Canes Country ] is the man behind the preview of the Carolina Hurricanes.


Divsion: Southeast
2006-07: (40-34-8) 88 points
Playoffs: Just watching

Leaders:

Eric Staal - Rob Brind'Amour
(30G-40A-70P) - (26G-56A-82P)

Cam Ward
(30-21, 2.93GAA )



Greetings to everyone at ThePensblog! Thehe staff here has asked me to provide a season preview of your first opponent this year, the Carolina Hurricanes. Before I start that, let me just briefly say a few things about myself. I've been a hard core Hurricanes fan and season ticket holder for several years. After the lockout, I started blogging and eventually came up with my current blog, "Canes Country". Feel free to drop by and visit anytime! I happen to also be a fan of several of the Penguins players such as Mark Recchi, Gary Roberts, and Jordan Staal. You have a great, young hockey club here and I see nothing but positive things in the Penguins future! But enough about that, on to the Canes!


I'll start off in net, then work my way out. Cam Ward will be the starting goaltender again this year for the Canes. After winning the "Conn Smythe" and leading the Hurricanes to the Cup win in 2006, the youngster had a disappointing year last year, his first as a starting netminder in the NHL. While his win loss record wasn't bad at 30-21-6, his GAA and save percentage failed to make the top 30 in the league. Once again his backup will be John Grahame. Johnny was signed as a free agent last year and is an expensive backup at 1.4 million per year. He's been a big disappointment and I'm willing to bet that this will be his last year as a Cane. The good news for Hurricanes fans is that Ward has been working out hard all off season and has reportedly lost 20 pounds and feels as quick as he ever has. Will that be enough to help him get back to his "Conn Smythe" form? He will need to be in top form because there is no reason to expect Grahame to improve on his 10-13-2 record from last year.

In 2006-07, the Canes blueline had a horrific season. Due to numerous injuries, the team had to carry as many as 10 defensemen on their roster throughout much of the year. It was like a revolving door back there. Frank Kaberle missed 55 games, Bret Hedican missed 32, Tim Gleason missed 25, and the list goes on. The starting 6 this year is supposed be those three along with Mike Commodore, Nic Wallin, and Glen Wesley. Wallin and Wesley missed 15 games each as well last year. The 7th defenseman as it looks right now will be Dennis Seidenberg, a youngster who was acquired from Phoenix about half way through last year. He has very limited experience as a starting NHL defenseman. The three other guys who were on the roster last year are long gone. Andrew Hutchinson was traded to NY in the Matt Cullen deal, Anton Babchuk signed in Russia for the year, and David Tanabe is a free agent who has yet to be signed by anyone. Many Caniacs are hoping that the Canes sign him for some insurance, and I can't say I blame them.

Last year, this offensively challenged group was the lowest scoring defense in the entire NHL. Hedican still is a huge question mark again this season because he's been suffering with a bad hip. He's going to try to give it a shot, but he's a hipcheck away from spending another 30 games on the DL. Kaberle has already been under the knife again this offseason. He recently had some minor knee surgery and will miss all of training camp and the preseason. Glen Wesley isn't getting any younger, (age 39), and one can't expect him to be able to make it through a whole year injury free. What does this all mean? If they don't sign anyone else, the Canes will be relying heavily on some unproven depth from the minors. Look for unknown players like Casey Borer, Noah Babin, and Brett Carson to fill in the gaps, and it wouldn't surprise me to see one of them in there for the game against the Pens. This certainly is the weakness of the team once again this year.

Now we will look at the Canes primary strength, their forwards. Team captain Rod Brind'Amour just seems to keep getting better every year. Look for him to win most of his faceoffs, he's always one of the league leaders in that department. The Canes will be very strong up the middle as Eric Staal and Matt Cullen join Brind'Amour there. This year will be a big test for Staal. Can he return to his 100 point effort from 2 years ago? Ray Whitney, Erik Cole, Justin Williams, Cory Stillman, Andrew Ladd, and Scott Walker will be joining them in the top nine. Whitney, Cole, and Williams are all 30 goal scorers. Stillman has been a consistent 80 point a year man throughout his career. (He's coming off an injury plagued season last year as well.). Ladd is a highly touted youngster who should break out this year. Walker is the team's tough guy who still chips in with 20 goals or more. I can't help but feel that as a group, those are the top 9 forwards in the league. But will they be able to put up enough points to compensate for a relatively weak defense? The 4rth line has some offensive punch as well with newly acquired Jeff Hamilton joining regulars Chad LaRose and Craig Adams.

In summary, while I am concerned about the Hurricanes defense I still believe that they have enough talent to win the Southeast Division this year. I think that they will finish the season with about 100 points. Carolina general manager Jim Rutherford likes to leave himself some salary cap room for playoff acquisitions, so I believe that if the Canes are playoff eligible, they will make a trade before the deadline to bolster their defense and that will help to make them a dangerous team come post-season. Of course, injuries are the key to everything. If the team can stay healthy, it should be an exciting year and anything can happen. If they can't, they could easily have a repeat of last year's disappointment.
...............................................
Pensblog Take

As Bob mentioned. Last year was disappointing. But you have to take in consideration that the Canes had tons of injuries.
If all goes well. The Canes could be the team no one wants to play in the playoffs.
We're going to have to say the Canes are most likely going to win the division.

Sunshine City.. The Florida Panthers Season Preview

A trip to Sunny Florida is next.

Mike from [ Southeast Shootout] previews the Florida Panthers for us:


Divsion: Southeast
2006-07: (35-31-16) 86 Points
Playoffs: No dice

Player to watch:

Olli Jokinen
(39G-52A-91P)

Hi, I’m Beinfest4Prez from the Panthers Daily Puck and the Southeast Shootout. In the real world, I go by Mike. However, my penname comes from my favorite baseball team, the Florida Marlins and their wise (some might say, genius...at least more than Dave Littlefield!) general manager, Larry Beinfest. I was born and raised in South Florida and have been raised on hockey since I could remember. I’ve been around just a few years more than the Panthers (4 to be exact) and they played their first home game ever on my fourth birthday. Its been a love affair ever since.

Offseason

The Florida Panthers finished with 86 points in the 2006-07, again improving the point total (albeit by one point) from the previous season to the next. However, even another December to April run by the Panthers and Eddie the Eagle was not even enough to save them from the horrors of Alex Auld and November (rumors abound that Alan Cohen and the managing board of the Panthers are petitioning Gary Bettman to remove the month of November from the NHL schedule; No word on the NHL’s response, yet). As Olli Jokinen and Co. sat down for another long off season, there was a sense in the community that perhaps, the Panthers finally had a level headed GM with a plan. There were inklings of this throughout the 2006-2007 hockey season. Limiting players like Chris Gratton’s playing time due to inability to catch up to the new NHL, bringing up David Booth, and trading away Gary Roberts for one of the Penguins own rising stars, Noah Welch.

There was a clear need for the Panthers this offseason:

• Get a good goalie.
• Lock-up the core players to long term deals.
• Add speed, grittiness, and depth to the roster.
• Draft a bluechip defense prospect, and whatever else you can get.

As the Panthers sister team, the Anaheim Ducks, marched to Stanley Cup glory (and thereby, ensuring the Cup spends another summer in the Sun Belt!) Jacques Martin, Randy Sexton, and all the boys set out to make their mark on this long suffering fan base’s thirst for stability and the playoffs.

The Panthers had several UFAs after the season ended. Among them included Jozef Stumpel, Ed Belfour, Martin Gelinas, and Ville Peltonen. The first domino to fall on the UFA list was Panthers forward Ville Peltonen. After a slow start last season, Peltonen became one of the more solid players on the team and showed the team they had a secret weapon (well, besides Steve Montador!) in shootouts. Pelts boasted 17 goals and 20 assists along with plus 7 rating. Most of his success came later in the year as he became more comfortable in the North American style and was finally healthy of his dislocated shoulder, suffered in training camp.

Quietly for the rest of May and the start of June, the Panthers began negotiating on a long term deal for the key core players identified by Martin, Sexton, and key offseason front office signing, Joey Nieuwendyk. Defenseman Bryan Allen, who paired with Jay Bouwmeester, would at times dominate opponents for long stretches when on the ice together. It was clear after the season ended that Bryan was a key component and the only validation left to trading away Roberto Luongo. In the middle of June Bryan signed for a 5-year deal worth about 14 million. Later on the same day, the Panthers traded Chris Gratton to the Tampa Bay Lightning for several draft picks. Not much more than a week later, Nathan Horton, who had again set new career highs in all his stats (31 goals, 31 assists, +15) signed for a 6-year deal worth $24 million, proving that not all GMs in this league are just there to throw money at bodies.

June 22^nd, the evening of the 2007 draft: Several rumors are flying around attaching the Panthers to trading for players such as San Jose backup goaltender, Vesa Toskala and Anaheim backup goaltender, Ilya Bryzgalov. However, using a couple of the second round draft picks gained through trades (Bertuzzi to Detroit; Gratton to Tampa) and a first rounder in 2008, the Panthers picked up Nashville star goaltender, Tomas Vokoun. When the news broke, cheering erupted at the Panthers Draft Party. With a swift stroke, Jacques Martin had righted the wrong of the evil taskmaster, Mike Keenan.

The pieces began to fall into place. Jozef Stumpel signed a two-year deal worth about $5 million dollars or so and the Panthers didn’t qualify notable players like Alex Auld and Juraj Kolnik. The Panthers signed backup goaltender Craig Anderson to a two year, $1 million deal, thus assuring that Eddie the Eagle wouldn’t soar over Miami (and the requisite night clubs) anymore. On July 1^st, the Panthers struck fast and hard, signing Richard Zednik and former Panthers first round draft pick Radek Dvorak to two-year deals respectively and signed former Avalanche centerman Brett Maclean to a three year deal. All three players not only added depth to the roster but speed, grittiness, and defensive responsibility. While the Panthers didn’t end up signing players like Daniel Briere and Slava Kozlov, they did add depth and chance deals. Both Dvorak and Zednik have the talent and ability to reach 20 goals again; however, if both aren’t healthy then the team will cut their losses with only two year deals. Maclean has the ability to post 15-25 goals consistently, and look for him to improve further under Jacques Martin’s system.

The rest of the offseason moves continued to show why Jacques Martin is a very patient and level-headed GM:

• Steve Montador, resigned to a one year deal
• Stephen Weiss, resigned to a six-year deal worth close to $19 million
• Signing Cory Murphy out of the Swedish Elite League to play Power Play Quarterback (next Brian Rafalski? Only time will tell.)
• Qualifying players like Janis Sprukts who have a lot of potential but have no room for on the roster and want to play full-time in Europe
• At the draft, the Panthers selected Keaton Ellerby first, fulfilling their blue-chip defensive prospect need. Others drafted included two possible steals in Michael Repik and Evgeni Dadonov who were both rated much higher than their draft position would indicate.

Forward Lines

Left Wing	Center	Right Wing
Peltonen	Jokinen	Stumpel
Zednik	Weiss	Horton
Olesz	Maclean	Dvorak
TBD (likely Kamil Kreps)	Campbell	Booth

Defensive Pairings

Jay Bouwmeester	Bryan Allen
Mike van Ryn	Ruslan Salei
Noah Welch	Cory Murphy
Slava Mezei	Steve Montador

Outlook

Five years of improvement in the overall points total and the Panthers still haven’t made the playoffs. This is the year that South Florida has been waiting for. Eerily coinciding with the year of the rat again on the Chinese calendar, the Panthers will look to resurrect that great and memorable team this year. It began with the reunion game. And this year, without a doubt, it shall end in the playoffs. Going out on a limb, with the improvement of all the young players, the development of JayBo into a serious Norris Trophy contender, Nathan Horton and Olli Jokinen hitting the 40 goal plateau and possible 100 point plateau for Olli, and the acquisition of elite goaltender Tomas Vokoun, the Panthers will win the Southeast Division this year. It is my duty as such, since the rest of the world wide publications vastly underrate the team itself, to boldly call for the Panthers rise to their first division title in the short history of this franchise. Go Cats!

...........................................

Pensblog Take

At first glance it seems like same old Panthers.

But actually the more you look at it, the more it seems in the realm of possibilities that the Panthers could put something together.

Oli Jokinen is the real deal. But his supporting cast is mud.

If Peltonen and Horton step up, the goaltending may be solid enough for them to make a late season run.

Lightning Crashes.Tampa Bay Lightning Season Preview

Being that this is really our first full season to get a crack at previewing teams, we decided to contact other bloggers to have them tell the stories of their respective team's season.

We will be running a team per day, possibly two teams, possibly six, all through September.

.............................................

We start in the Southeast division.
John Fontana was kind enough to lend his words about his team the Tampa Bay Lightning.
[ Boltsmag ]

................................................

Division: Southeast
2006-07: (44-33-5) 93 points
Playoffs: 7th seed
Elimated: Owned by Devils

Leaders:

Vinny Lecavalier- Martin St. Louis- Brad Richards
(52G-56A-106P)- (43G-59A-102P)- (25G-45A-70P)

Hi everyone, John Fontana from Boltsmag.com here. Just for what it’s
worth I’m 28 and have been blogging on Boltsmag since February 2004,
making Boltsmag one of the longest running hockey blogs out there.

The Tampa Bay Lightning – a bane for the Pens last season if you recall
– have a number of questions about them that I think can be best
addressed by acknowledging my top concern down the stretch last season
and then working our way from there.

There’s a top concern in the hockey world when people look at the Bolts
and there is a top concern for me that I’ve had a few friends identify
with: The Lightning has been a one line team the past season with the
departure of Fredrik Modin (traded to Columbus before last season for
Goalie Marc Denis – more on that later) and weak play by former wing
Ruslan Fedotenko. With the top line assured to be a scoring threat with
the dynamo that was Vincent Lecavalier with Martin St. Louis on his
wing, the team became one dimensional once you took the top line off
ice. Brad Richards on the 2nd line worked with a plethora of wings and
yet didn’t quite click with any of them. And while the grit on the 3rd
and 4th lines were there, there was a desperate lack of scoring
contributions from these lines.

Lecavalier and St. Louis were a deadly force last year, make no mistake,
but the key to stopping the Lightning was to neutralize their contributions.

Flash forward to this upcoming season and there are three new forward
dynamics that will play into things: Jan Hlavac returns to the NHL
after 3 seasons of European exile, Chris Gratton was re-acquired by the
Bolts (his 3rd tenure with the team) to serve as a 3rd line center… And
much reviled former Pen (and former line-mate of Brad Richards during
Rimouski Oceanic’s memorial cup season of 2000-01) Michel Ouellet have
joined the fray. Hlavac and Ouellet are penciled in to join Richards on
the 2nd line and hopefully provide a second scoring line for the
Lightning. Gratton will serve in place of injured captain Tim Taylor as
3rd line center with Jason Ward on his wing complimented by either Ryan
Craig or Nick Tarnasky.

Now the official item that stands out to everyone else in the league is
the Lightning’s goaltending situation. Marc Denis was acquired before
2006-07 with loads of hype surrounding him. With that hype came
other-world expectations… And with that pressure came more-than-human
play between the pipes. I have to admit I liked Denis in net more than
former netminder John Grahame (who has a tendency to commit too early on
saves and otherwise play like a chicken with his head cut off). But as
I said above, Denis proved mortal in net. Johan Holmqvist played well
at times as the seldom #1 in Denis’ steed (9-1 in shootouts) but also
played like he belonged in the AHL at others (a terrible record versus
weak in-division rival Florida).

Improved play in goal will be vital this season but just as vital will
be play in front of goal by the Tampa Bay defense. Blocking shots and
crowding lanes and making it difficult for opposing defenses is just as
vital as routine playmaking by the netminders. Though the loss of Cory
Sarich on the blueline (to Calgary) may be felt, the addition of former
Bolt Brad Lukowich – who is better at blocking shots, as compared to
Sarich who was a physical force left to poke-check in the Lightning’s
defensive system – should even things out. The return of Dan Boyle,
Filip Kuba, as well as young Turks Paul Ranger and Shane O’Brien will
make up the top two pairings (most likely) in Tampa. The #6 defensive
role should be a battle between Lightning prospects (such as former
collegiate standout Matt Smaby, Andy Rogers, Vladimir Mahlik) as well as
depth additions such as Bryce Lampman (Rangers), Dan Jancevski (Stars)
and Doug Janik (TB – 6th/7th D-man last year).

All in all, the Lightning have made lateral moves in an effort to bring
back a double threat on offense while stabilizing and improving the
defense. How well that works will remain to be seen until the puck
drops on opening night… And doubts will remain in goal until Denis,
Holmqvist or Karri Ramo step up and prove themselves beyond the status
quo in net.
.....................................................
Pensblog Take

Bottom line:

The Lightning are going to go as far as the goaltending allows them.
Vinny Lecavalier is at the point in his career where he can dominated all day.
St. Louis is money, and Richards will job 30 goals.
You know they will somehow beat the Penguins.

Lightning are going to the playoffs mark it down.

Rest of the West. Western Conference Preview

Well we almost got through all of the west bloggers.
But a few jobbed us and didn't get back to us.
So we'd figured we would just group the rest of the west before we cram into the East.
...........................................


Division: Pacific
2006-07: (50-25-7) 107 Points
Playoffs: 6th seed- eliminated by Canucks
Best blog: [ Razor with An Edge ]

No matter what it always seems the Stars are around. They have the same team coming back. Turco finally showed up the in the playoffs. Alot of people forget they were a post away from forcing OT in deciding 7th game.



Division: Pacific
2006-07: (51-26-5) 107 Points
Playoffs: 5th seed. Eliminated by Homotown
Best Blog: [ Mike Chen ]

The Sharks are probably going to win the cup.
What a team.



Division: Northwest
2006-07: (49-26-7) 105 points
Playoffs: 3rd seed-elimated by Ducks
Best Blog: [ Waiting for Stanley ]

Robert Luongo stays healthy the Canucks go far.
Naslund will be fine, the Sedin brothers are money. Great fans. Should be a fun year in Vancouver



Division: Central
2006-07: Don't worry about it
Playoffs: This year, dick
Best Blog: None (someone should start one)

Martin Havlat is all you need to know about the Blackhawks.
sick
.........................................................

So now that the previews are done, here is are meanlingless prediction on the standings:

1. 
2. 
   
3. 
4. 
5. 
6. 
7. 
8. 

..................................................

9.
10.
11.
12.
13.
14.
15.

.........................................

Go Pens

Yawni Rita

Next week at this time:


vomit city

Until then, at least we get to listen to Mike Lange tonight against the Sabres. [ Pens TV ]

...........................................

Season Previewblog

Being that we dragged our feet in getting out season previews.

Tomorrow we will finish the West, and get out all the Southeast division teams featuring the bloggers who helped us out.

Throughout the day we will be posting them. Right up until the Pens game.

It'll be more annoying than the Yankees, Michael Vick, Rex Grossman, and USC, but whatev.

.....................................

Pens News

Adam Hall is still fighting for a spot. [ Empty Netters ]

Pens practiced today. You know where to go for details on that. [ LGP ]

Next week is Penguins week on FSN. [ Faceoff Factor ]

They aren't doing a "In My Own Words: Gary Roberts."

Huge mistake.
Then again, if Roberts spends more than 5 minutes looking at you, your corneas melt.

......................................



Dean McAmmond sounds off. [ TSN ]
"I don't think I have concussion problems. I have a history of guys giving me traumatic blows to the head, that's what I have a problem with," McAmmond said. "I was lifeless there, I was pretty grateful that I'm pretty much normal now."

Its good to see McAmmond is OK.

No gays jokes here.
Seriously.
We are trying to mature.

...................................

The 2,500 penalty minutes and 300 points Club. [ The Sweater Ted ]

Rick Tocchet (2970 penalties in minutes, 952 points)


"Controversy often follows members of this club (like aforementioned Hunter and McSorely), since they naturally seem to be risk takers and are inherently hot under the collar. Unfortunately Rick Tocchet's name is more linked to gambling nowadays then it is to being a true power forward. He was on Mario Lemieux's wing for the Cup years and an absolute force to be reckoned with. Cam Neely (1241 PIMs and 694 points) was probably the premier power forward during Tocchet's prime, but Tocchet was an extremely dangerous player in every way for many years."

Great company to be in.
..............................................



A Senators fan celebrates Dean McAmmond being okay.

Whatever that guy is about to do to that pole is between him and God.

...........................................

Breakdownblog

AO vs Sid
Malkin vs Semin
[Post Game Heroes ]

Just a great post.
Complete with nicely done graphs.
Post Game Heroes is money in the bank.

.......................................

One last bit of news.
And unfortunately it is very somber.

Former Penguins prospect Darcy Robinson passed away while playing a game in Italy. [ WBS ]

He was 26.

........................................



OPENING FACEOFF COUNTDOWN

Hans.
Anyone else remember Lemieux calling him consistently inconsistent?

Hans Yawnsson

The Pens got finished at West Point. [ Post Gazette ]

"I'm not big on the hockey and war comparisons, but you do have success by doing similar things," Scuderi said. "What you do when you come here is reinforce those things."

No pictures from this trip have yet to hit the internet.
We'll just have to wait for Roberts to upload them on Flickr.

..........................................................


Fightblog

Lost in the Rangers/Isles brawl,
things got ugly between the Sharks and the Canucks a few nights ago. [ Sharks Page ]


.................................................

Mirtle tells us that Matthew Barnaby could wind up in the Buffalo booth. [ Mirtle ]

If you feel like vomiting, you can visit a Barnaby's fanpage that some puck bunny made on Geocities in the late 90's. [ Julie's Page ]

But give credit to her.
Because she found this.


A picture like this can cause someone to ask many questions.

.....................................................



The owner of the Chicago Blackhawks died today. [ NHL.com ]

There's nothing to say here.

...........................................................

EA Sports did their NHL 08 simulation.
This one is somehow more official than the millions of others.

Sharks win the Cup in six games over the Pens. [ TSN ]

.........................................................



Jamie Langenbrunner will be out 2-3 months with a sports hernia. [ TSN ]
The next Devils player that attempts to carry the fading team on their back will meet the same fate.
................................................

There is nothing else going on.
Go Pens

...........................................



OPENING FACEOFF COUNTDOWN


Can you handle a Len Barrie reference?

Pensuck

We've had an influx of people visiting the site recently.
Commentorblog has seen new members sporadically jump on board.
There is nothing better than that.

The downside is that some people jumping on board don't know the history of jobbing that goes on around here and are taking things way too seriously.

For example, we got our first ever hate e-mail.
This can't possibly be a real e-mail, but we think it is.

The most satisfaction you can give us is us knowing that we pissed you off so much that you took 20 minutes of your life to detail your hatred.

.............................................

Hey, just wanted to drop by and say nice GAY blog.

Are you that much of a f*&%ing idiot?

Nice blog, btw. Looks like a three year old wrote it. Your grammar sucks.
Nice references to "gay" you malinformed, obnoxious peice of shit.

"What a joke organization"

"At least we don't have Jason Blake gaying up our television"

Wait.. so let me get this straight. The Islanders, who have accomplished more than the Pens will ever have accomplished, or had more hall of famers skate with them over the years then the Pens will, are the joke, right?

The Pens, who diliberatly tanked over the span of 6 years JUST so they could keep the team in Pittsburgh and actually have more than 3 people come to the games, are not the joke, right?

And the Pens, if they hadn't hit the ONE IN 300 HUNDRED chances of landing Crosby, would be skating in the dweller in Kansis City, are not a joke?

The Pens, who have declared bankruptcy 3 times over the last 8 years, are not a joke right?

Let me just say.. don't throw stones. If you think anybody envies the Penguins or their fans, you have another thing coming.

BTW, I'm not even an Islander fan, I'm a Ranger fan, but I'd choose the Islanders over the Penguins 10 days a week.

And you probably understood that.

P.S - You think the Isles playing us will be bad? Wait till they play you. They may not have all the talent you possess(thanks to tanking), but they'll beat you, just as they did last year.

Pensuck. How about that as a new title for your blog? Losers.

.................................................

We wanted to take as little time as possible to break this e-mail down.

----- The Pens deliberately tanked for 6 years to keep the team IN Pittsburgh?
Wasn't the movie "Major League" based on the complete opposite premise?

----- And, yeah, if the Pens don't land Crosby, we're running BlueJacket Blog right now.
No questioning that.

----- The Islanders were disgusting in the '80s.
No questioning that.

----- The worst thing about every human being on Earth is that when we hate something,
we start making shit up to help back our point:
"If you think anyobody envies the Penguins or their fans, you have another thing coming."

Did we ever say that people envy the Penguins?
It doesn't make any sense for that to be in there at all.

----- If our grammar sucked in every post, then we would agree.
We blaze through a post, and when it comes to time to put it up, it's 2:00 AM and we're too tired to go proofread everything.
More posts than not feature grammar that would make Mark Twain grow a second penis.



First-line center for the Isles in 2007-08.

Yawn Hrdina

This Sunday.
12:00.
Versus.


Game on.

Until then everything goes back to being as exciting as watching CBS.

.................................

Pens News

NHL.com shares their "players to watch" for each team.
Pens: Staal. [ NHL.com ]

Ryan Whitney taunts Gary Roberts [ Post Gazette ]

When the Penguins were split into two groups for a training-camp drill last week, the side that came up short had to do pushups. Defenseman Ryan Whitney, who was in the group spared the exercises, skated slowly past those kissing the ice, chiding them.

"Come on, Gary Roberts," Whitney called out. "Twenty pushups is nothing for you."

At least I show up in the playoffs.

.....................................

You can pretty much close the book on Ottawa's Dean McAmmond.

First he gets concussed by Chris Pronger in the Cup Finals...



And then on Tuesday night...


Steve Downie, some Flyer who will be a Phantom his whole career,
delivers a blow to McAmmond's head. [ TSN ]

Usually we would job.
But no one likes seeing that stuff, even if it is a Senator.
Get McAmmond back on the ice. He's a beast.

Sens fan James Van Der Beek, your thoughts:



We only put this picture in here because this was on the first page
of Google image results for "gays crying."

........................................................

LuongoBlogo

In a conference call Tuesday, Canucks goaltender Roberto Luongo said he would retire if the league used bigger nets.

"If that day comes, I don't think you guys will be seeing me in the NHL," Luongo said. [ ESPN ]

Diagnosis: Luongo is a homo.

...................................................

This brawl still befuddles us.
Why in the hell was Chris Simon even in the game? Isn't he suspended?
[ Battle of New York ]

And what was Yahoo box scores doing?
Why was every minor penalty being served by Alexei Ildngsgnfjgnjnahbflhg f

Playing the Islanders eight times this year is gonna be a mess.
And that's without Jason Blake gaying up our televisions.

What a joke organization.

...............................................

Stealth S17 blog.

Easton made it official.[ Easton ]
The stick will be out November 2007.
It is lightweight and has Wi-Fi capabilities.

S(t)ick

....................................................


Congrats are in order to our good friend Nick at PSAMP.
He celebrated his six-month anniversary last week.
Solid blog. [ PSAMP ]

........................................................


Ben read "The Little Pigs" to some kids at Carnegie Library in Oakland recently. [ PG ]

Hopefully he can read books better than he can read defenses.


................................................



OPENING FACEOFF COUNTDOWN

What a human

Could Be Worse. Columbus Blue Jackets Season Preview

Being that this is really our first full season to get a crack at previewing teams, we decided to contact other bloggers to have them tell the stories of their respective team's season.

We will be running a team per day, possibly two teams, possibly six, all through September.

.............................................

Our next venture takes us to Columbus.
Drew from [ End of The Bench ] was kind enough to let us pass his preview along.
.......................................................

Division: Centreal
2006-07: (32-43-7) 73Points
Playoffs: Yea right

Leaders:

Rick Nash---David Vyborny--Sergei Fedorov
(27G-30A-57P) - (16G-48A-64P)- (18G-24A-42P)

Additions

Scott Howson - General manager. I’ll be brief, here. Simply put, a change was needed. We had the GM full of fire, brimstone, and bluster. And now, it appears (before games have been played and hearts begin to break) that we have a sound businessman at the helm. I’m excited for the change at the top, if only to see how things will be different. A lot of candidate names were bandied about, and every time a name was withdrawn you could feel the knife turning in the guts of many CBJ fans. All that is behind us, and we must support our team and let them know that we expect a plan for competitiveness. Howson will not have the seven-year leash that MacLean had, let’s hope that things work out for him and the patient fans.

Jan Hejda - Defenseman, acquired as an unrestricted free agent from the Edmonton Oilers. This signing didn’t garner much press beyond I-270, but I think if you look beyond the surface that this deal could be the best the Jackets made this summer. Why? Well, I’ll explain my train of thought. Scott Howson was the assistant GM in Edmonton prior to joining the Columbus organization. I read many accounts from Edmonton fans when Howson left that they were concerned that the brains of the front office left, saddling them with Kevin Lowe. Hejda made his NHL debut with Edmonton last season, and one could easily make the mental connection that Howson is familiar with what kind of player he is. When the free agent signing period started, the Blue Jackets sat quietly (which seemed painful to some fans who apparently would prefer that we spend $8 million on Scott Gomez) and let the rest of the NHL fight over the high priced stars. Newly minted as GM, Howson picked up who he presumably thought was the best value at defense for our system. Howson knows his coach, knows the type of player the coach is looking for, and went out and got a player one could reasonably assume he knows well. If Hejda is good enough for our GM, I’m willing to say it’s a good signing. Not every deal has to be for millions of dollars to make sense.

Jiri Novotny - Center, acquired as a free agent from Washington. I don’t know a lot about Novotny, other than that he was included in the trade from Buffalo to Washington in the Zubrus trade. I remember that he was the young whippersnapper who I mentally gave credit for injuring Sergei Fedorov last preseason, but I won’t pretend to know about strengths and weaknesses. I’m hopeful that he will be able to add depth down the middle, as this is something the Blue Jackets sorely lack.

Kris Beech - Center, acquired as a free agent from Washington. Here’s another guy I know little to nothing about. I would guess he was brought in to add depth as well, and will provide competition for playing time either on one of the checking lines or in Syracuse.

Michael Peca - Center, acquired as a free agent from Toronto. After Alexander Svitov shocked the world by opting to play in Russia instead of for the Blue Jackets (if you did not detect the sarcasm in the previous sentence, please read it again and see what you think), CBJ fans were left up in arms about what to do about the lack of depth in the center position (forgetting that we’d added depth at center all summer… see above). The eyes of everyone locked on Michael Peca. “Hey, everybody!!! Mike Peca is still available. It would give the CBJ an opportunity to sign someone for more than a million dollars a year and save our ‘free agent season’!!! Let’s do it!” Respectfully, Peca is a noted face-off artist and plays hard-nosed defensive hockey. Realistically, it’s a lot of money for a guy not noted for his scoring ability, not to mention one who spent much of the season on Injured Reserve due to a broken leg. Offensive players who can’t play defense are of no use to this organization, so in this respect I guess I appreciate the fact that at least on paper the addition of Peca “makes this team harder to play against”. And to piggyback on my Hejda comments, Howson knows him so it should all work out, right? We’ll see.

Subtractions

Alexander Svitov - Center. Signed a two-year contract extension, and then weeks later decided to stay in Russia to play at home. I won’t even begin to assume that I can know what it’s like to be thousands of miles away from home (and getting paid millions to be there). So I’ll look at this practically: for all Svitov was pumped up to be, we’ll be missing a grand total of 18 points. Let it go. I mean, heck… even Peca (15 points) did almost that in less than half as many games. Now that’s trading up!

Anders Eriksson - Defense. A guy you never really notice, Eriksson was a 6th/7th defenseman on a team not noted for it’s defense. Read into that whatever you want. On the one hand, it’s nice to have someone available to suck up some even strength minutes (usually with a plus rating). On the other, it’s not like we lost the best defenseman in the league.

Bryan Berard - Defense. One word: finally. Next!

Aaron Johnson - Defense. Even when the team was suiting up Fedorov on the blueline, Johnson got moved to fourth-line winger. That’s not a good sign. He was not tendered a qualifying offer and has since signed with the Islanders. We wish you the best in your future endeavors.

Doug MacLean - General Manager. Again… fairly brief. As time wore on, it became apparent that Doug was unable to admit mistakes. I know that nobody willingly makes moves that would jeopardize their own career. I’m not suggesting that Doug knew then what we all know now. But instead of trying to right the ship, MacLean always seemed to try and cover his own ass. That might work once, but after a few times (okay, maybe a few years in some owners cases) people catch on. We wish Doug the best in Tampa (and really feel bad for Marc Denis).

Thoughts

Sarah mentioned in her preview that she’d be happy if the Jackets were still in the playoff picture past November. I think most Blue Jacket fans feel the same way. We’re not asking for a Stanley Cup to be delivered in June (though please do not assume we wouldn’t answer the door if the UPS man delivered it), just to have an opportunity to be competitive.

All the right things are being said as we go into this season. We’re trying to be a harder team to play against. Physical conditioning is being addressed (I guarantee Scott Howson doesn’t want that call from Brian Burke suggesting that his players get in shape). Winning starts with attitude, and the way of thinking in Nationwide Arena is changing.

I want to look forward to games against Detroit and Colorado, and not simply throw up my hands in futility at the opening face-off because we are a scrimmage team to them. I want to play meaningful games in March (hell, even in January would be a change). When Barry Melrose gets his two minutes each week towards the end of the season to talk about the playoff picture, I want the CBJ crest to be on the screen fighting for that 8th spot. I don’t want to be the laughingstock of the NHL. I don’t want journalists and bloggers in other cities to refer to us as patient fans because we have to put up with the same shit year after year.

I want competitiveness.

Will I get it? I think so. I don’t expect the Blue Jackets to make the playoffs, but I expect that they can pull things together and make some semblance of a run. The Central Division will be more competitive this year, with Chicago and St. Louis both improving. Nashville is not expected to be as dominant this year, and Detroit is Detroit. It will be a difficult road to hoe, but with all the talk being about how much tougher this squad will be I think it should be fun to watch.

Pensblog Take

Columbus isn't going to do much this year.
They are the only franchise in the NHL that has yet to make the playoffs.

It's really hypocritical to say Columbus isn't worthy of a team, because half the nation was probably saying that about Pittsbugh.

Columbus must have something going for them, because when talks of NHL teams relocating surface, Columbus is ne'er mentioned.

The last time the Pens played in their building, it was the Dany Sabourin massacre, a 6-1 defeat where Columbus actually scored before the opening faceoff.

Speaking of the impossible coming to life, Columbus has a legitimate shot at finishing 17th in the Western Conference.

One thing to remember, though.
At this time one year ago, Columbus and Buffalo were going to be the two options for us if the Pens had left.


All fans through the gates receive this at the big November 18th game against Detroit.

Good. Great. Grand. Wonderful.

In order to gain a fair assessment, we will be keeping gameclock time during the Auburn-Florida game Saturday night on ESPN.

With a 25-second playclock, and with the gameclock stopping on first downs,
actual gameplay may surpass the NFL's 13:08.

And it will be one of the last mentions of football on here for the rest of 2007.

.......................................................................

Heroes is a big deal.
In this promo pic, they remind you in quick fashion that there's boobs in the show, too.

All we need now is Penguin season to start.
And life will be worth living again.

On a side note.
"Journeyman" premiered after Heroe,s and it wasn't as bad as it looks.
Almost a cross between Quantum Leap and a bad Hallmark movie.

The dude who is the star looks like a cross between Gary Roberts and Mark Eaton.
Of course if it was Gary Roberts or Mark Eaton, the show's plot would concist them going back in time and having sex with your woman while ordering from the 5 for $5 menu at Arby's.



..........................................

Groinblog

Bing is battling a sore groin. He left practice today. [ Post Gazette ]
This happened at the same time last year.

As fans, we have been lucky that Crosby hasn't been befallen with the career-long injury.

Mario had the bad back.
Jagr had the illicit gambling problem.


The most nagging injury last year was Mark Eaton's.

Segue time.

Mark Eaton is all business. [ Post Gazette ]

"There's no mystery what my role is.
I've got to be solid defensively, good in my own end, block shots."

The Pens start the West Point thing tomorrow. [ PensTV ]

If the Penguins organization knows what best for them,
they will somehow find a way to get Ray Shero into a general's uniform.

..............................................................

Is the NHL ignoring a concussion problem? [ Fanhouse ]

The NHL's fab five, according to some homo at Yahoo:
Sharks, Wings, Ducks, Senators, Rangers. [ Yahoo ]


Everything else aside, Dany Heatley is worth top-tier money in the NHL.
Will the Sens be willing to pay him $8.5 a year? [ Darren Dreger ]

......................................

New NHL rules...[ TSN ]

• Penalty shots can now be awarded from center-ice onward, as opposed to the blue line.
• The interference rule can result in a major penalty and game misconduct if it results in an injury.
• Faceoffs will no longer take place at the spot where the puck leaves the ice. All faceoffs will take place at a faceoff dot.

.............................................

And here is an big-time article with Gary Bettman talking about European expansion and the salary cap. Solid read if you have a few minutes. [ Yahoo ]
"If you look at attendance, if you look at the digital space and people who are connecting to us on NHL.com and the club websites, if you look at what we're doing through technology and streaming - all the vital signs are good."

................................................................

Scott Burnside takes a look at the top NHL story lines for the season. [ ESPN.com ]

What about Wayne? Wayne Gretzky didn't expect to waltz in and lead his ragtag Phoenix Coyotes to the Stanley Cup, but he sure didn't expect things to go as badly as they have the first two seasons in Phoenix. Entering his third season as an NHL bench boss, Gretzky has a blend of raw talent and castoffs from other teams and almost nothing in the way of goaltending. Perhaps Gretzky will embrace this new build-from-the-ground-up philosophy and be around for years. It's hard to imagine, though.

Whatev.

Picture: Wayne Gretzy showing his team how they are going to win 24 games this year.

................................................

One of the great pictures on the internet. [ Barry Melrose Rocks ]


Barry Melerose also points out the insane pre-season game between the Isles and Rangers.

Penalty Summary
1st Period
NY Rangers	fighting - 5 min	3:08, C. Orr served by A. Anisimov
NY Islanders	fighting - 5 min	3:08, A. Sutton served by S. Ogordonikov
NY Islanders	fighting - 5 min	3:11, K. Brennan served by S. Ogordonikov
NY Rangers	fighting - 5 min	3:11, C. Orr served by A. Anisimov
NY Rangers	roughing - 2 min	3:41, D. Byers served by A. Anisimov
NY Islanders	roughing - 2 min	3:41, C. Simon served by L. Aquino
NY Rangers	roughing - 2 min	5:18, R. Hollweg served by A. Anisimov
2nd Period
NY Islanders	high sticking - 2 min	2:21, C. Simon served by S. Ogordonikov
NY Rangers	fighting - 5 min	2:21, C. Orr served by R. Hollweg
NY Rangers	fighting - 5 min	3:58, T. Pock served by A. Anisimov
NY Islanders	fighting - 5 min	4:20, A. Sutton served by S. Ogordonikov
NY Rangers	fighting - 5 min	4:20, B. Dubinsky served by A. Anisimov
NY Islanders	interference - 2 min	4:40, T. Hunter served by S. Ogordonikov
NY Islanders	- 2 min	5:04, A. Johnson served by S. Ogordonikov
NY Rangers	goalie leaving crease - 2 min	8:11, A. Montoya served by A. Anisimov
NY Rangers	game misconduct - 10 min	8:11, J. Strudwick served by A. Anisimov
NY Islanders	fighting - 5 min	8:11, K. Brennan served by S. Ogordonikov
NY Rangers	fighting - 5 min	8:11, C. Orr served by A. Anisimov
NY Rangers	game misconduct - 10 min	8:11, C. Orr served by A. Anisimov
NY Islanders	goalie leaving crease - 2 min	8:11, R. DiPietro served by S. Ogordonikov
NY Islanders	attempt to injure - 10 min	8:11, C. Simon served by S. Ogordonikov
NY Rangers	roughing - 2 min	8:11, J. Strudwick served by A. Anisimov
NY Rangers	charging - 2 min	8:11, R. Hollweg served by A. Anisimov
NY Rangers	game misconduct - 10 min	8:11, A. Montoya served by A. Anisimov
NY Islanders	game misconduct - 10 min	8:11, R. DiPietro served by S. Ogordonikov
NY Islanders	game misconduct - 10 min	8:11, K. Brennan served by S. Ogordonikov
NY Islanders	high sticking - 2 min	8:44, B. Guerin served by S. Ogordonikov
NY Rangers	charging - 2 min	8:44, R. Hollweg served by A. Anisimov
NY Islanders	holding - 2 min	12:20, F. Meyer served by S. Ogordonikov
NY Rangers	hooking - 2 min	13:42, A. Hutchinson served by A. Anisimov
NY Islanders	hooking - 2 min	16:28, S. Bergenheim served by S. Ogordonikov
NY Rangers	interference - 2 min	17:19, T. Pock served by A. Anisimov
NY Rangers	cross check - 2 min	18:08, A. Hutchinson served by A. Anisimov
NY Rangers	holding - 2 min	19:36, M. Malik served by A. Anisimov
3rd Period
NY Islanders	tripping - 2 min	2:33, A. Hilbert served by S. Ogordonikov
NY Rangers	hooking - 2 min	4:13, D. Byers served by A. Anisimov
NY Rangers	slashing - 2 min	4:43, M. Rozsival served by A. Anisimov
NY Islanders	tripping - 2 min	5:11, M. Comrie served by S. Ogordonikov
NY Rangers	interference - 2 min	9:49, B. Shanahan served by A. Anisimov
NY Islanders	cross check - 2 min	13:31, F. Meyer served by S. Ogordonikov
OT Period
NY Islanders	roughing - 2 min	2:17, F. Meyer served by S. Ogordonikov
NY Rangers	cross check - 2 min	2:42, B. Shanahan served by A. Anisimov
NY Rangers	roughing - 2 min	2:42, B. Shanahan served by D. Byers

It's nice to see that Chris Simon isn't insane.
Wow.


More pictures of the insanity -- Yahoo

......................................................

RBKBlog




Whoops. The "A" fell off.
That's what happens when you overpay a player.

The Stanley Cup Penguin won the Pens logo poll. [ NHLToL ]

.................................................................



OPENING FACEOFF COUNTDOWN

No Pucks For Oil. Edmonton Oilers Season Preview.

Being that this is really our first full season to get a crack at previewing teams, we decided to contact other bloggers to have them tell the stories of their respective team's season.

We will be running a team per day, possibly two teams, possibly six, all through September.
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Grease from [ Oilblobosphere ] was kind enough to supply us a look into the Oil Country.

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Division: Northwest
Last Season: (32-43-7) 71 Points
Playoffs: No Dice

Leaders:

Ales Hemsky- Dustin Penner
(13G-40A-54P)-(29G-16A-45P)

(26G-38A-64P)

I love being kicked in the balls. Hard and repeatedly. And that's why I'm an Oiler's fan.

Season Preview

If the Edmonton Oilers intend on being competitive this year, they need a few too many miracles. Raffi Torres, Shawn Horcoff, Ethan Moreau, and Ales Hemsky all need to have the year of their lives. Dustin Penner and Sheldon Souray need to earn at least half of what they'll be making, and guys like Matt Greene, Denis Grebeshkov and Joni Pitkanen have to step up to the plate and be at least competent. And Theoden has to ride until dawn. Also, everyone has to stay healthy for every.single.game. No love rashes.

So who's new:
Dustin Penner, Sheldon Souray, Joni Pitkanen, Mathieu Garon, Geoff Sanderson, Denis Grebeshkov, and Dick Tarnstrom returns to the fold once again.

Who's out:
Jason Smith, Ryan Smyth, Marc-Andre Bergeron, Jussi Markkanen, Joffrey Lupul, Toby Petersen, Brad Winchester, Petr Sykora. And we didn't sign Jan Hejda!?

Why you should watch:

Ales Hemsky. This could be the year for Ales Hemsky to put the dingle in the dangle and come out guns blazing as a certified Star. If you've never watched him play, do yourself a favour and YouTube this kid. Brighter minds than mine are predicting a 90 point season from Ales, and with Shawn Horcoff (one of the smartest players on the ice in the NHL, period), and the 245lb Dustin Penner rounding out the line, we may just see something the Oilers haven't had in years: a killer power play. And that's what it has to be all about for the Oilers this season. You don't pay Sheldon Souray the Ryan Smyth money (contain...overpowering...rage) unless you plan to have him belting rubber at the opposing goalie's face all game. He's shit for defense (his position), so you draw as many penalties as you can and make it happen.
Who'll step up: My prediction is Patrick Thoreson pulls together his rookie year experience and comes out with a hard on for goals. Thor was excellent last year and only needs to convert all the scoring chances he has proven to be skilled at creating.

Of interest:

Sam Gagner. The bright light of falling to the bottom sixth of the league this year was the Oilers' opportunity to draft this young player. Earning the MVP in the snoozer Super Series, Gagner showed quickness, drive, and pure hockey sense that will likely get him 9 games in the Big Show. The Oiler's are so desperate to fill forward holes right now ("San" Fernando Pisani is out indefintely with ulcerative colitis) that if he really shows up, little Samwise may find himself starting his NHL career a little too early.

Questions:

Will Raffi Torres settle down into something resembling consistency? Will Dwayne Roloson, at 37, be able to keep as sharp as he has been? Will it help to have Mathieu Garon waiting in the wings? Will Pisani be ready by Christmas? Will Pitkanen live up to his early promise and will Souray learn to skate?

What I'll predict:

On paper, Oilers finish anywhere between 12th-14th in the West. But what's paper but some kind of mashed up pulp? I say Oilers finish the season just squeaking into the playoffs, battling it out with the Vancouver Canucks, Luongo out due to a painful groin issue. After that, who knows? Sometimes this team can surprise you.
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The Oiler are pretty much screwed. Last year at this time they were coming off a great season, and looked loaded.

But not anymore.
Unless Penner turns all-world and Souray has a big year.
It will be hard for this team to make the playoffs.
They don't have a proven goal scorer. Their goalies are OK.
They will have to play balls-out to get to 14th place.

And hopefully, we are dead wrong.

Montreal Candian Season Preview

Being that this is really our first full season to get a crack at previewing teams, we decided to contact other bloggers to have them tell the stories of their respective team's season. We will be running a team per day, possibly two teams, possibly six, all through September.

...............................................

Next up is a site that is as good as it gets. A big thanks to the crew from [four hab's fan ] for this preview of the Montreal Canadians.

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Divison: Northeast

2006-07: (42-34-6) 90pts

Playoffs: No dice

Leaders

Saku Koivu-Micheal Ryder
(22G-53A-75P)- ( 30G-28A-58P)

Andrei Markov
(6G-43A-49P)

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Will the Habs Be Stripperriffic?

This preview of the Montreal Canadiens is brought to you by Panger76, one of the Four Habs Fans, home of Hockey, Habs, Snark and Strippers. Those unfamiliar with us might want to consider reviewing our stripperrific rating system to understand wtf we’re on about.

You want in-depth preview? We laugh at Sean Gallagher and his puny little Blues piece. Let’s break it down, position by position.

GOALTENDING

The tits

David Aebischer is now The Great One’s problem in Phoenix, which is only disappointing for Northeast Division opponents. Cristobal Huet may or may not be the player he was in the second half of the 1^st post-lockout season, but he is a solid starter at the very least, with gusts up to spectacular. Jaroslav Halak proved he is the real deal in a three month audition last year, making Abby and his 15 ft rebounds expendable. Halak will serve as a good, cheap young backup UNLESS uber-prospect Carey Price gives Habs’ brass no choice but to keep him up with the big club instead of starting the year in Hamilton.

After that, the Habs have some solid goaltending depth in free-agent signees Yann Danis and Cedric Desjardins. Danis took a step back last year but has not embarrassed himself at the NHL level in the past, while Desjardins has a Memorial Cup on his resume.

The cellulite
As far as Huet is concerned, FHF still denies the Steve Penney parallels. But the possibility is still out there. Plus two major injuries in two years raises concerns.

The list of great Slovakian goaltenders reads like this:

(And yes, we thought of Peter Budaj – taking the starter’s role from Brokedown Theo doesn’t count towards legendary status.)

Halak is small by NHL standards and has not yet been through the grind of an 82-game NHL season, and he’s only a year removed from the ECHL. The biggest drawback will be FHF’s inability to pullout any more “Swiss cheese” jokes after Abby’s starts.

Carey Price is 19 freakin years old.

The armpit hair
By now almost everyone has heard of Price’s championship season last year: first leading the Canadian Men’s Junior team to gold at the World Junior championships, then reading the Hamilton Bulldogs to the Calder Cup AFTER finishing his junior season. What freaks FHF out: the Patrick Roy comparisons, and off season hype only Montreal’s Stanley Cup starved fans could place on a FREAKIN 19-year old.

In the VIP Room
Huet is a fundamentally sound goaltender with the mental makeup to handle the pressures of playing the position reserved for greats on a legendary team - or as we like to call to call it, brass cajones.

Halak seems to get better every year, playing at different levels.

Our insight on Price: he’ll be a star one day. You heard it here first.

Chez Parée bound?
Yes, although a limo might be pushing it. Maybe in a nice rental car. Other predictions: Unless Price blows the doors off the competition in the pre-season, smart money is on him playing at least half a season in the AHL. Huet is gone to L.A. by the deadline for guys no one except Panger has heard of.

Number of lap dances (out of 10)

Like that Martian chick in Total Recall, we’ll give the three-breasted monster than threatens to be Montreal’s goaltending this year an 8 out of 10.

DEFENCE

The tits

Hmmm. They’re not as bad as Toronto? Markov is an above-average defenceman with stretches of eliteness. Komisarek is huge and hugely underrated. Bouillion is tough as nails and doles out huge hits despite his midget frame, plus he’s got a big heart. Hamrlik is big, strong and experienced. We don’t consider Mark Streit a defencemen anymore, but he does play the point on the powerplay competently. Janne Niinimaa will be turning over the puck somewhere in Finland this season, which is good news to FHF. Josh Georges is still an unknown quantity, but at least he’s young and has some potential.

There are some good prospects on defence, including monstrous Ryan O’Byrne and Darius Kasparitis clone Pavel Valentenkov. JP Cote played a few games a couple of seasons ago. Mathieu Carle will be good, but not this year.

The cellulite
An argument can be made that the Habs are much worse of at the start of this season that last, having lost both Craig Rivet and Sheldon Souray over the course of the last year. Roman Hamrlik and Patrice Brisebois take their places. Oh happy day.

There are questions about the holdovers, too. Markov has not proven he can be a true #1 defenceman over an entire season. Hamrlik must prove he’s worth his paycheque, plus you gotta be wary of a guy drafted 1^st overall but on his 5^th team – those other teams let him go for a reason. Bouillon may be tough, but he still has to use a stool to reach the top shelf. Oh, and Mathieu Dandenault – he’s all about the cellulite. Carbo seems to feel the same way, as he’s suggested that Dandy is fighting for a roster spot with Georges, Cote and O’Byrne.

The Habs also let go probably the most NHL ready prospect in the system, Dan Jancevski, who signed with Tampa. However, the Habs did sign Jamie Rivers for depth. Wait, Jamie who?

The armpit hair

Duh. Breezer.

Losing Souray. Yes, he was minus a billion last season, but he scored goals! Power play goals! And there is no indication his slack will be picked up by the remaining cast members. On the other end of the ice, despite letting Mr. -28 go, there is no guarantee the remaining Montreal defenceman will be any better than their predecessors. Plus FHF doesn’t see anyone stepping up to fill the leadership void he leaves behind – although we have high hopes for Komisarek.

In the VIP Room

This is the year Komisarek gets the recognition for being the steady, punishing shut-down defenseman he deserves. And by December Brisebois realizes that he should have retired two years ago. By February his body is discovered in a ditch.

Chez Parée bound?
They’re allowed in, but they’ll have to wait in line. Other predictions: Another long season for Habs goalies, and if Price’s confidence is shattered, we know who to lynch – that’s right, welcome back to Montreal, Patrice.

Number of lap dances (out of 10)

5 out of 10 – 6 if Brisebois gets mowed down outside the Bell Centre before Oct. 3.

CENTERS

The tits

The Habs enter the season with 3 guys who can play on the top two lines – Koivu, Pleks and Smolinski. Pleks upside is Zetterburg-ish based on the second half of last season. Koivu seems to have overcome the injury bug (oh wait, I think I just heard a tendon snap…)

After that, the Habs have a couple of solid role players like Begin and Lapierre. Plus chicks dig Lapierre’s hair, or so I’m told. They also have some intriguing prospects in Kyle (Chips) Chipchura, Mikhail Grabovski and Corey Locke.

The cellulite

None of the front line trio is a true #1 Center. Koivu is a solid #2, and Pleks and Smoliniski are better suited to the 3^rd line. Begin, due to his style of play, is injury prone. Lapierre is a hard worker, but has limited offensive abilities. Although he wasn’t the most popular Hab, the Canadiens will miss Radek Bonk more than most fans realize.

The armpit hair

I called Smolinski a ‘journeyman’ before the UFA season started, and was convinced Gainey would not sign such a player. And he was our big ticket free agent forward signing. Ouch.

Playing center ice for the Hab means standing on your tippy-toes when they pull out the tape measure for your official height. We’re looking at you Koivu, Pleks, Grabby and Locke.

In the VIP Room

Smolinski may not be the offensive player he once was, but he’s an upgrade over the Bonk-inator – plus with Radek gone Pleks gets his favourite number back. He earned it. Grabovsky tore up the AHL and has the confidence to make the team this year.

Chez Parée bound?

Yes, but they’ll have to bribe the bouncer. Other predictions: Grabovsky grabs a roster spot and centers Kovalev’s line, and becomes a fan favourite for his speed and moves a la Russ Courtnall. To make room, Smolinski moves to the wing on the first line with Ryder and Koivu. Meanwhile Chips becomes this season’s Pleks.

Number of lap dances (out of 10)

No true #1 = 7.5

WINGERS

The tits

As for scoring wingers: Ryder is a goal scorer who doesn’t get the respect a 30-goal scorer should; Higgins has the most upside of any current player; Kovalev is one of the most talented players in the league. Gui Latendresse is big and has soft hands, and is still getting better; Andrei Kostitsyn has the skill and now has a taste of the NHL, and should stick.

As for the “role player” types: You know what to expect out of Garth Murray; Tom Kostopoulos was signed for depth.

As for prospects: Andrei’s bro Sergei may get a taste of NHL action after dominating with London of the OHL last year. There’s also European rookie Janne Lahti who supposedly plays a “North-American style” game – which I guess means he’d break a couple of eggs going into a corner. There is also Duncan Milroy, who took a step towards reaching the NHL last year after spinning his wheels for a while. I have to mention Matt D’Agostini cause he’s Italian. Let’s hope his family makes as good a sub as Montreal’s last Italian hero, Sergio Mommesso. And if anyone is heading to Calgary in the near future, pick up something from Mommesso’s for me, will you?

The cellulite

Ryder runs hot and cold, and when he’s cold he’s useless; Higgins had a scorching start and then wasn’t the same after his injury; Kovalev is the most inconsistent player in the league; Latendresse will not be a true power forward cause he doesn’t like to get his nose dirty like Brendan Shanahan; Kostitsyn hasn’t locked up a position on the team and hasn’t blown anyone away in his previous pre-season appearances.

You know what to expect from Garth Murray; not much depth in terms of experiences wingers apart from Kostopoulos (oh Mike Johnson how we miss thee). Lahti and Milroy have proven zero at the NHL level.

The armpit hair

Let’s see: no true sniper, no true heavyweight (or even a reasonable facsimile). Not much experienced depth.

In the VIP Room

Much will depend on the progress of youngsters such as Higgins, Latendresse and Kostitsyn, as well as other young centers who will likely get moved to the wing such as Lapierre and Chips. Plus, you know, if Kovalev feels like playing, that would be helpful.

Chez Parée bound?

We hope so, and we’re even offering free drinks to Kovalev to see if that’ll motivate him. Other predictions: Higgins turns into a two-way force; Kostitsyn not only locks up a roster spot but plays on the top two lines all year. Kovalev is run out of town on the Patrice Brisebois express.

Number of lap dances (out of 10)

Let’s say 7 – but this is probably the biggest guess of all our “rating”: it can go to a 9 if Kovalev is a player again, Ryder is consistent, and Higgins and Kostitsyn continue to improve. If not, and Garth Murray is playing on the top line, a 2.

MANAGEMENT

The tits
Gainey’s has years of experience and is impervious to pressure. Carbonneau’s not a rookie anymore and had to have learned something from last year – right?

The cellulite

Gainey has no visible emotions and maybe is too conservative as a result. Carbo’s coaching resume isn’t exactly remarkable. Former center Kirk Muller is still coaching the defencemen – where’s Jacques Laperriere when you need him; I though he had a lifetime contract??

The armpit hair

We acquired WHO in the UFA sweepstakes? At least there is little likelihood of a Samsonov repeat this year.

In the VIP Room

Trevor Timmins is the most underrated person in the organization, turning around 20 Wickenheiser-esque years of drafting, and the team is just starting to see the fruits of his labours. If Timmins leaves, they might as well just pass on all their draft picks next year.

Chez Parée bound?

They’ll have to take the Métro until they prove they can make some better decisions (why Breezer? Why???). No one’s getting fired, but no one is carving out a Hall-of-Fame career either.

Number of lap dances (out of 10)

Again a solid 7. Despite the FHF motto – Trust in Gainey - his re-signing of Breezer seriously undermines his credibility. Carbo’s not great, but at least he’s not Mario Tremblay. We’ll se if he learned anything from last year.

THE BIG FINISH – THE 4 AM SMOKED MEAT SANDWICH FROM THE REST OF THE FHF

HabsFan10 – IF everyone plays to their potential, and IF some of the other teams in the East a) have their team plane go down or b) trade for the ebola virus or c) get managed by John Ferguson Jr ... oh, wait ... or d) remain "The Florida Panthers", the Habs may have a shot at a low seed in the playoffs. Miracles along the lines of St. Patrick's 1993 post-season could result in a top-four spot. Not gonna happen. Just beat the goddamn Leafs out, okay? I have to live in Toronto.

HabsFan29 – I don’t know about a 4 am smoked meat sandwich. I don’t trust this to be the best way to come to the aid of ailing entrails incurred by the many defeats Habs fans will be ill at ease digesting. Instead of numbers on jerseys, this year the players should don the shoe that really fits – A BIG FUCKING QUESTION MARK. I can’t help it, I’ve always been an optimist.

HabsFan33 – And I’ve always been a pessimist. 11^th place in the East, crippling injuries all year (giving the French media an excuse), Carbo gets fired, and Kovy, Pleks and Huet are all gone by the deadline. Worst. Season. Ever.

NFL GameClock Analysis

iPod nano commercial -- 2:00

For this analysis, we kept time during the Steelers-49ers game on Sunday.
We wanted to find out how much time of a 60-minute football game is actually spent doing something athletic.

For example, two running plays that take 4 seconds long will give us 8 seconds of action while 1 minute or more has run off the gameclock.

13:08 of gameplay.
2:41 of that on special teams.
52:57 OF COMMERCIALS AND ADVERTISEMENTS.

If you don't trust these statistics, please do this yourself.
Or just do yourself.

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According to the statistics, the Steelers' offense was actually doing something athletic on the field for 5:01 during the entire game.

( Steelers on right. )

According to these stats, the Steelers ran 53 plays from scrimmage:
20 passes, 33 runs.

When he's not passing, Ben is handing off -- something your mailman does every day.
Unless your mailman is Jim Thorpe, there's nothing athletic about that.

We're nice guys, so we'll help Ben with our next step in the analysis and give him 10 extra plays.
For ease of math, we'll give the Steelers 60 plays from scrimmage -- 30 rush, 30 pass.

Dividing the 5:01 from the above graph (rounded to 5:00 for math) by 2 gives us 2:30 for running plays, 2:30 for pass plays.

Roethlisberger is being athletic for 2:30 a game.
We could be dicks and say that his actual time is 1:15, because half of that 2:30 is spent watching his receivers catch and run with the balls, but whatev.

Take that 2:30, multiply it by 16 games,
and it gives us 40 minutes of Ben athleticism during the course of a season.
( We aren't factoring in when he chases people who intercept him. )

Ben's 2007 base salary -- [ SteelerSalaryCap.com ]
Crosby's 2007-2008 base salary -- [ NHLNumbers.com ]

We deflated Crosby's numbers. He actually had an average icetime of 20:45 per game in 06-07.
Roethlisberger, in actuality, played less than 2:30 because we inflated his number of pass plays.

Your local garbage man, who makes sure you don't live in your own filth, earns 33¢ per minute.

A Post Because We Can

PG captioned the above picture:
"The Penguins' Mark Eaton got the Penguins on the board early."

Mark Eaton scores his first goal since scoring the game-winner against another sperm in the ampulla of his mom's fallopian tube, and he's not even the focal point of the picture.

Is that Mike Weaver at center? Who cares?
The average person sees this picture and thinks that turd in the center is Eaton.

Look at Eaton's visor. Sniper vision.

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Hammer in the comments mentioned this.
Some Penguins are complaining about the new uniforms. [ PG ]

It should be noted that the two key people highlighted in the article are Mark Recchi and Gary Roberts, the veterans on the team.

The main complaint is because the uniforms repel moisture, all the perspiration from the players is running into their gloves and skates.

Gary Roberts said something in the article that may affect his God-like status around here.

"My hands are soaked, my feet are soaked. I feel like it's May, in the playoffs, I'm sweating so much."

Yeah, he sweats that much in the playoffs.
And not in a meaningful late October game.

That hurt us to do that.

***Editors note***
Minutes after jobbing Roberts, Adam was temporary paralyzed for 25 minutes.

Whatev..Pens Lose

5 - 2


Tonight was the maiden voyage of Pens TV.
At first it looked like it was going to be a bust.
But it sorted itself out, and it really wasn't that bad.

................................

It was just good to see the great game again.
Mellon Arena never looked so good.

Got to see the highlight of Mark Eaton-Orr's great goal in the first period.

Paul Steigerwald and Bob Errey time.

The second period was sluggish, with both teams jobbing back and forth.
Chris Draper is 3,000 years old.
He scored to tie it.

Homo

With like 6 seconds to go.
MAF made a sick safe, but Henrik Zetterberg was everywhere.
2-1.

The third period wasn't much to talk about.
The Pens were just about to start buzzing, when the ref decided to call a penalty on Gary Roberts for being awesome.


It was a good call.
The Wings wasted no time.
3-1.

Game over..

Not so fast.

Goalie pulled.

Evgeni Malkin scored a goal off a slapshot that cannot be comprehended.
Whenever they release highlights of the game, this will be something you will need to see.


The Penguins had another really quick chance.
But Bing couldn't seal the deal.
If this was November, it would've been in the back of the net.
But it's not.
And the Wings got the puck and iced it with a empty-netter.
Then they scored again to make it look like it wasn't close.
Thats why the Red Wings are gay.

Other notes

• Angelo Espositio looked like he is 12 years old
• Letang was ok
• Adam Hall was nothing too great
• Mark Eaton has a visor
• Erik Christensen/Evegeni Malkin could be a solid combo if they play together.
• Mark Reechi. Whatev
• Sluggish game over all
• Errey and Steigy were a little too concerned about how good Detroit is. Who cares.
  

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In preparation for Sunday's timekeeping affair for the Steeler game, we did the same thing during the third quarter of Michigan-Penn State on Saturday.

15:00 of playing time in the third quarter.
2 minutes, 46 seconds was spent actually playing.
And that's with the gameclock stopping on first downs, and a 25-second playclock instead of the NFL's 40 seconds.
That means, basically, more playing time occurs in collegiate games.

Our guess of 12 minutes may be on the mark.

For the Steeler game, we will have it broken down even further, in regards to offense, defense, and special teams.

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NHL Fanhouse Blog

The Fanhouse at AOL is our first stop every day.
That's not a statement intended for flattery. It really is the first stop.

We mention that today because Greg Wyzhynski over there did the Penguins preview recently [ Fanhouse ]



He alludes to Crosby Hater Nation, the doubts surrounding Michel Therrien, and links us to a site devoted to hating on Crosby. [ IHateCrosby.com ]

Don't care who you are, this photoshop is funny.

Apparently, someone threw his Art Ross, Hart, and Lester B. Pearson trophies into the pool.

Upon further review, we see that the site is primarily a message board, and most of the posts in the forum are links to porn.
Whatev.

Also on Fanhouse, Chris Pronger is still a douchebag. [ Fanhouse ]

When asked what he thought about the NHL expanding to Europe:

"How are you going to run the draft? Are you gonna take a Canadian kid and ship him off to Europe?"

Yeah, too bad kids from Europe have been coming over to America to play hockey for the better part of a quarter of a century.
If Pronger and his wife could have it their way, Anaheim would play 82 home games per year on the days that they deem fit.


They have become the first couple of hockey because they are jokes.
Is she wearing a Canada hat? Damn it.

If you would be against NHL European expansion, like we are, just say that it wouldn't be cost-feasible for teams to fly overseas for a 3-hour game and fly back.
Don't say something like Pronger did which makes no sense at all.

And if the NHL expansion means they would start a separate NHL in Europe,
then the quality of play in the NHL as we know it will turn to mud.

.............................................

A newspaper up in Nova Scotia lists the top 10 players ever to come out of the Quebec Major Junior Hockey League. [ The Chronicle Herald ]

Lemieux was #1.
He scored 282 points in 70 games in his final year. 4.03 points per game.
He didn't show up in the playoffs that season, averaging just 3.71 in 14 games.

Crosby was #4.

...............................................................

The Rangers sound off on the RBK uniforms. [ LoHud.com ]




The Devils are pissed that Cam Janssen was injured in a preseason game when his new RBK jersey was ripped and pulled over his head during a fight. Devils are whining. [ NY Post ]
He's still ugly.

l


Goalie Dan Cloutier has been sent to the minors. [ Yahoo ]



Dan Boyle cuts himself because he is emo [tsn.ca]

"Boyle was injured in the Lightning locker room when distracted while hanging up his skates. A skate slipped off of the hook and hit him in his left wrist, cutting a tendon.

What a mistake.

.............................................


TSN does its NHL08 Review

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RBK Blog

NHLToL was sent a still from the new Resident Evil movie.
Doesn't look like a photoshop, but one of the homos is wearing a Predators jersey.



Those jerseys look pretty busy.
Didn't need the number on the front.

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Highlights Magazine Blog


Find 5 differences.

..................................................................

OPENING FACEOFF COUNTDOWN

Pens TV =Joke

[Pens TV ]

Good luck trying to get the game.
Because we can't for some reason.

And what did we miss.

Mark Eaton scoring a goal.
Sick


Go pens


*****UPDATE*******
If you are having issues
[Click here]
Take pop-up blockers off.
That should work.

Chris Chelios Sucks. Pens Lose

1-0

Whoa.
Someone could've at least said there was a game Friday night.
WTF is going on.

There was no TV, radio, internet.
Welcome to Helen Keller's life.

If we offended any blind people that read this, we apologize.

So, yeah, apparently Chelios scored in OT.
Why was he even on the ice?
What a joke.
.....................................
Late edit:
Reader Matt Nelson went to the game last night and emailed his take:
re game:
The Red Wings skated on to the ice and the fans started cheering. My friend yells "RED WINGS SUCK!!" and the only person in the rink who couldn't hear it was Chris Chelios.

First period:
Absolutely nothing happens. Seriously.

Second period:
Some jobber for the Wings named J. Kindl takes a bunch of homo-erotic penalties, in true Detroit fashion. First he gets 2 minutes for Holding The Stick. Then 2 minutes for Douching. Then 2 minutes for Trying to Start a Rugby Game. Then Detroit gets penalized again: 2 minutes for Not Knowing How to Count to Five. Sadly the Penguins couldn't capitalize on any of the power plays. They were restricted to only using one hand on their hockey sticks because they had to use the other hand to guard their assholes from the freaky european Red Wing players.

Third period:
Chris Chelios forgets he is on the ice and trips a Penguin. Shortly after, another Red Winger jobber gets sent to the sin bin. Butt sex ensues in the penalty box while the Penguins keep getting owned by Detroit's goalies.

Overtime:
Chris Chelios's revenge for the Penguins beating his Blackhawks in the 92 Finals: scoring on Ty Conklin in a preseason game. This is assuming he even remembers that far back.

More proof that Detroit sucks:
Big Beaver Rd.
Dix Highway.

The end. Never go to Detroit.
................................................................................


Pens play Saturday night
Game will be broadcast on Pens TV.

Go Pens

You Can't Touch A Flame When Its Red Hot..Calgary Flames Season Preview

Being that this is really our first full season to get a crack at previewing teams, we decided to contact other bloggers to have them tell the stories of their respective team's season.

We will be running a team per day, possibly two teams, possibly six, all through September.
................................................
Nextup we get a word from one of our favorites.
Randy from [ Completely Hammered ]

..................................

Your Calgary Flames!

Well, my Calgary Flames, I'm pretty sure most of the rest of you won't give a shit about them

(At least until June)

Division: Northwest
2006-2007: (43-29-10) 96 points
Playoffs: 8th seed
Finish: I’m not here to talk about the past…

Leaders:

Jarome Iginla – Alex Tanguay
(39G – 55A – 94P) – (22G - 59A - 81P)

Dion Phaneuf – Miikka Kiprusoff
(17G - 33A - 50P) – (40-24-9-7, 2.46 GAA, .917 SV%)

Thank you, come again - Roman Hamrlik (Montreal), Brad Stuart (Los Angeles)

Don’t let the door hit you in the ass on the way out - Tony Amonte (Don’t remember/ care), Jeff Friesen (Ditto), Andreas Zyuzin (See Tony Amonte)

Come on in, the water’s fine - Adrian Aucoin (Chicago), Cory Sarich (Tampa Bay), Owen Nolan (Phoenix), Anders Eriksson (Columbus)

Front Office:

Who you probably know:

Darryl Sutter, General Manager - Started of with the organization as both coach and gm, but then decided that he needed to concentrate on one job. Managed to acquire some key pieces (Kiprusoff, Tanguay, and Huselius) for the team. Known for his love for talking to the media…

Mike Keenan, Head Coach - I’m pretty sure that every fan around the league knows Iron Mike (also known as Douche #4 in the Pensblog list of the biggest douches in NHL history). He was hired by the Flames over the summer to replace Jim Playfair. Won a cup with the Rangers in 1994 and was promptly fired. He is now on his eighth head coaching job in the NHL, which ties him for the NHL record in that department. Iron Mike is also known for using multiple goalie changes over the course of a game. Mike and his wife Nola have three children: Gayla, Grant, and Reed…

Jim Playfair, Associate Coach - Playfair was the head coach of the Flames last year. Despite having a seemingly stacked lineup, he had trouble making in game adjustments and always seemed to find it necessary to have Tony Amonte on the ice for the final minute of every single period. He is much more suited to be back in the assistant coaching spot, as I’m not sure if he has the leadership abilities to run his own household…

Since it is just the coaching staff, I won’t bore you with the details of the other guys…

Players:

Who you probably know:

Jarome Iginla #12 RW - Captain of the Flames is considered one of the elite forwards in the NHL. Also known for being bald…

Alex Tanguay #40 LW - Scored on over 20% of his shots, which makes you really wonder why he doesn’t shoot more…

Kristian Huselius #20 LW - Excellent puck handler seems to have magic hands in the opposing zone. Nickname is ‘Juice’ after his freakishly smallish head (a la Beetlejuice)…

Daymond Langkow #22 C - Hit a career high in points last season, and was second on the Flames forwards in TOI last season (behind Iginla). Could stand to be a little better in the face-off circle…

Craig Conroy #24 C - On his second tour of duty with the Flames after a brief, yet unfruitful, stint in LA (the story of many a failed actor). Was one of the key players in Calgary’s run at the cup in 2004. Nickname is Chatty due to his inability to stop talking… ever… in fact, he’s probably talking right now…

Owen Nolan #11 RW - Former sniper turned reclamation project. Essentially this season’s Jeff Friesen (hoping he can turn back into the player that he used to be, but I’m not really expecting a whole lot)…

Dion Phaneuf #3 D - For those that didn’t get the memo, he is apparently the next ‘Scott Stevens’. Known for his massive open-ice hits and his smoldering stare that makes the opposition weak in the knees (note: this may only apply if the opposition in question is the opposite sex)…

Adrian Aucoin #33 D - I’m sure the Penguins fans know him as one of the better defenders on the Islanders before the lockout, as opposed to the injury-prone, overpaid stiff that ‘played’ for the Blackhawks that last couple of years. The former is the version I’d like to get to know as well…

Robyn Regehr #28 D - Known for his staunch play in his own end, not for putting the puck into the net. Kind of like the opposite of any defender that the Edmonton Oilers picked up over the off-season (had to get at least one greaser dig in here)…

Cory Sarich #6 D - See Robyn Regehr…

Miikka Kiprusoff #34 G - Perhaps one of the best goalies in the league right now. Kipper is known for shaking goals off and quickly getting mentally back into the game. He is currently in contract negotiations to get an extension past next summer. However, he may want to put that on hold until he finds out how many times Keenan is likely to pull him out of net in the middle of a game…

Who you should know:

Matthew Lombardi #18 C - Speedy forward with pretty good hands was very effective as a penalty killer last season. Playfair only gave him limited playing time though, but watch him get more ice time under Keenan this season. And apparently the girls think he’s hot…

Stephane Yelle #7 C - Gave up his number to Owen Nolan for the second time in his NHL career (first time was in Colorado). Nickname is ‘Sandbox’ due to his ability to grind the opposing team’s forwards down…

David Moss #58 RW - Big, young forward was up and down between the big club and the farm all last season. Could be a 20 goal scorer this season if he stays with the big club…

Mark Giordano #5 D - Young, undrafted defenceman spent over half the season with the big club last year, making a pretty good impression on a lot of the fan base. Oh wait, the Flames acquired a bunch of defencemen in the last 8 months, meaning that there is no roster spot for ‘Gio’ to make the team this year. So he signed a contract in Russia instead. How do you say “D’oh” in Russian?

The other guys:

Wayne Primeau #19 LW, Marcus Nilson #26 RW, and Eric Godard #17 RW - A big guy, a fast guy, and a slow-footed fighter with brick hands (I wonder why he doesn’t get more ice time)…

Anders Eriksson #8 D, Rhett Warrener #44 D, David Hale #21 D - A guy I don’t know much about, a guy that gets injured a lot, and a young guy that has never done anything on the ice to make me want to find out more about him…

Brent Krahn #35 G, Curtis McElhinney #31 G - Who you may ask? They will be battling for the backup spot, but I wouldn’t concern yourself with it, as Kipper will probably be playing upwards of 70 games this year…

The young guys:

Dustin Boyd C - Quick skater that is willing to go into the corners (I haven’t seen much of these guys)…

Andrei Taratukhin LW - Leading scorer on the farm last year has a chance at cracking the big clubs lineup this season. Oh wait, he went to Russia as well…

Tim Ramholt D - Uh, he plays defence apparently. No room for him on the big club right now anyway, so don’t worry about remembering his name…

Leland Irving G, Matt Keetley G, Kevin Lalande G - the Flames are stacked in the young goalie department, but I wouldn’t expect to see any of these three young prospects this season, unless there are some significant injuries to the other 3 (knock on wood)…

My thoughts on the season:

After a season which saw them make numerous defensive errors (especially on the road), it looks like the Flames have decided that a separation of offence and defence was needed. Forwards score goals, defencemen and the goaltender stop them. Calgary shored up the blueline with guys that have a history of being able to control the other teams forwards, and they are going to let the forward ranks of the 3^rd most potent offence in the Western Conference last season (yes, that is true, which is a complete turnaround from the previous seasons) do their thing in the other end. Seems reasonable enough to me…

I think the Flames will perform much better than Keenan than they did under Playfair last year, especially on the road (where even I probably could have done a better job). I predict a finish atop the Northwest division, 3^rd in the Western Conference. Followed by a trip to the finals where they will hopefully not get screwed over by a non-goal call on Martin Gelinas in game 6. Yes, I do realize that he doesn’t play for the Flames anymore, and yes, I will let this go… eventually… honest… but that puck was in…

Oh, and I’m not sure if you all got the press release, but apparently the Calgary Flames are based in both Alberta AND Canada…
.....................................................

First off, we would just like to say Randy did a solid job on this.
The Flames are going to be an enigma.
You can feel it.
We would not be surprised if they finish in ninth place. But we wouldn't be surprised if they finish in third.
It all depends on a few things.
Number one:
Mike Keenan.
He has been a joke the last few years, but he was once a decent coach. If he can rekindle the magic you never know
Number two:
Scoring.
Iggy needs a side kick, he gets that and the Flames cruise.

With all that said.
We like the Flames a lot.
The Defense and goaltending is as good as it gets.
Another point is the Flames simply do not lose games at home. They were a stunning 30-9-2 at home last year.
Iron Mike gets it done.

Flames smell like a fourth seed.
Could get interesting if Kipper gets hot in the Playoffs.

Our Town

We wanted to tell everyone before the weekend gets here:

Emulating Post Game Heroes' balls-out approach to statistical breakdowns, this Sunday, we will be watching the Steeler game and calculating how much gameclock time is actually spent being athletic and playing a game, as opposed to the furious 60 minutes that is hockey.

Our guess is the total is gonna be somewhere in the 12-minute range.
It should be interesting.

.......................................

Well, it was just a matter time.

But after what we went through, it doesn't hurt to mention it.
Pens sign the lease that will let them stay in town till 2040. [ Trib ]

....................................

The Pens had their Town Meeting Thursday night.


We listened via Pens TV.
Nothing really special.
But whenever Ray Shero speaks, we listen.

................................................

Speaking of Pens TV,
it will televise the Pens preseason game against the Red Boobs on Saturday.
[ PittsburghPenguins.com ]



Pens classic game DVD is out November 6. [ Amazon ]

...........................................

BGLblog

Big Georges is working hard [ PG ]

Defenseman Ryan Whitney and winger Georges Laraque were on the ice warming up well before anyone else, and Whitney challenged Laraque to a race from a goal line to the far blue line
Several of their teammates spilled from the locker room to watch, and Therrien came out to act as the starter.

Whitney won, but barely.
Laraque made it an even longer day by staying out at practice to offer Adam Hall some pointers on fighting.

..............................

The Blackhawks lose Toews.
They are the first team to be eliminated from the playoffs.

[ Barry Melrose Rocks ]

Toews out 2-3 weeks with strained vaginal muscle.

Defenseman Ryan Stokes got cut in the face during the same game. [ NHL.com ]


The Sharks are sending three coaches and five players to China to play for the China Sharks, to promote interest in hockey over there. [ TSN ]

"China Sharks" brought back zero significant results in Google.



"We’re gonna win a lot of games. We’re gonna be a very difficult team to beat on a nightly basis and we’re gonna win the Stanley Cup as far as I’m concerned." -- Sean Avery [ NY Post ]



Damien Cox of the Toronto Star finds nothing pretty about the Winter Classic in Buffalo on New Year's Day. [ The Star ]
He makes some good points, and you think he has a legitimate opinion.
Until you see his picture.


If you can't smile for a picture that you know is gonna be on a website, you're a smug joke.

Unless you're in an emo band, whose whole premise relies on being sad and staring at things,
what prompts a person not to smile when they're getting a picture taken? Absurd.

-- Elsewhere up in Toronto, new goalie Vesa Toskala started his first game as a Leaf...and gave up a weak goal on the first shot he faced in a 3-2 loss to Phoenix. [ The Star ]


Leafs fans burn Toskala in effigy during the first intermission.

....................................................

Stickblog

The new Easton Stealth S17 is on its way soon.
It is sick.
Someone got footage of the promotional shoot featuring Heatley and Gaborik using it.



..................................................

RBKBlog




Tournament of Logos spotted this. [ NHLToL ]
Anyone else see red bleeding down the jersey underneath the logo?


And here's the Stars new uniform with the most unnecessary caption ever.

They also released a sizing chart if you want to buy a jersey.
Measure around your chest in inches, probably.


How did anyone miss this picture:

No way this actually happened.

.......................................

While we are talking about weird stuff,
Goride Howe is getting spied on. [ Tsn.ca ]

The Howes claim Lionel and Karen Dorfman, a retired couple in their 70s, have engaged in unlawful eavesdropping and invasion of privacy for more than a year.

The Howes allege the Dorfmans have had a camera snapping photos of their house every five seconds - more than 17,000 photos a day.

Gordie Howe is in love with himself.

..............................................................

Lots of season previews coming, so get ready.
Hockey season starts in 8 days, if you can believe it.

Go Pens.

.........................................



OPENING FACEOFF COUNTDOWN

Robert Dome
God help us all.

........................

Pens-Tires
Friday Night

Sens Season Preview

The Ottawa Senators will win the Stanley Cup. That is all.

In all seriousness, Ottawa fans are likely going to be blessed with another winning season from the Senators. Expectations are high (as always), and there is no reason to believe the team cannot deliver. If we have seen anything over the last few seasons it is that anyone has a shot, and Ottawa has as good a shot as anyone (and better than most).

Once again, Ottawa is being picked as a Cup favourite by many media outlets, and is projected to finish atop the Eastern Conference standing by many people. Whether or not this happens is up for debate, but barring a colossal collapse you can be sure the Senators will at least be in the playoffs hunting for the Cup next season. With that being said, let’s examine the Senators in the standard 3 categories:

Offence:

Ottawa did lose some scoring when Mike Comrie and Peter Schaefer left this year, but it does not have many fans too worried. The expectation is that youth will develop to fill their roles, namely Patrick Eaves and Antoine Vermette.

Eaves will have to bounce back from a somewhat dissapointing sophmore year and become the 20+ goal scorer he was as a rookie in 2005-06. Many see him playing wing on the first line with Heatley and Spezza, and if he manages to stick there it is almost impossible for him not to improve over last years numbers.

Vermette is going to have yet another chance to shine in Ottawa, and the hope is that he will finally show us what he has. The expectation is that he will fill in as the second line centre, with Alfredsson on the wing. Vermette has shown that he has awesome hands and is good in the faceoff circle, but now he will have to show that he can be consistent while playing a big role for the team.

Once again, Ottawa should be among the league leaders in GF.

Defence:

While many around the league have viewed the loss of Priessing as a major blow to Ottawa’s defence core, it should have little to no impact. It seems a lot of people were lulled in by his outstanding +/- rating (hell, he was the highest Senator’s defensemen in Norris voting), but they fail to realize he was our 6^th defencemen, playing against grinders.

Stepping in to replace Priessing will likely be Schubert, Ottawa’s renessance man. Schubert will bring a far more physical, in-your-face game – something Ottawa needs on the back end. He will likely be paired with Corvo to form Ottawa’s 3^rd pairing, which is not too shabby.

Phillips and Volchenkov will once again anchor our D, and the only expectation if for Volchenkov to improve. Arguably the best shutdown duo in the league (ESPN even has Philips winning the Norris this year), the two should be able to stop anyone who comes their way.

Filliing out the middle will be Redden and Meszaros – both badly needing to rebound from disastrous years. Redden had probably his worst year in the NHL, and Meszaros suffered a terrible sophmore jinx. If both bounce back to what we saw in 2005-06, Ottawa should have one of the best defensive units in the NHL.

Goaltending:

Ottawa will get solid but not spectacular goaltending again this year. Emery and Gerber provide one of the better duo’s in the league, and should push eachother. The only upside to having a $3.7m backup is that you know you have a capable goalie to step in if your starter is injured for long periods of time.

Emery has a lot to prove this year. Coming off a great season even more is expected of him. He will finally be playing healthy after receiving surgery on his glove hand wrist (something that nagged him nearly all of last season), and he is looked at in Ottawa as the next coming of Christ. While I certainly don’t view him that way, he has shown that he is a top 15 starter in the league, and hopefull will be able to steal a few games for Ottawa.

Overall, things are looking good in Ottawa. Of course, you never know what will happen on the ice, but we are at least in a good position to make a push for the Cup, and hopefully this year they will know what it takes.

TJ - SensHQ

Abel To Joke

The NHL season is raring to go.
How do you know?

Because the Jobber Tour Bus is pulling out of the garage.


Our stop tonight will be taking us to the Red Wings blog [Abel to Yzerman.]


If you can claw your way through the Verizon and Big Ten COLLEGE FOOTBALL ads, you'll find a post that is their response to the Detroit Red Wing preview we did like 2 months ago.

Now before we get to anything, the dude claims to have been blogging the NHL since 1977.

Is that even possible?

Al Gore just threw up:



The author took extreme offense to us calling the Red Wings the Yankees of the NHL.
He mentions that he hears it all the time, which means we aren't the first to make the comparison.

He took it as us saying the Red Wings spend money left and right to attract free agents.
Hey, it's not that. They had the highest payroll in the league when there wasn't a cap, and everyone outside of the Detroit fanbase hated(s) them (yes, that sounds like the Yankees.)
** On a side note, the Pens had the league's highest payroll during the mid-90s. **

So, he decides to get as personal as you can get with someone you don't know personally.

The author didn't like us calling Detroit HomoTown, saying we shouldn't make fun of homosexuals.

Too bad we weren't making fun of homosexuals; we were making fun of Detroit.

Maybe if the Red Wings played in a better division, they would be better prepared in the playoffs, as they have gone in with high hopes the past 4 years only to get owned.

The Wings fans jumped into the site's comments, and you can't blame them.
Solid jobbing going on over in that post.

And hope you're sitting down for this one...



...Some guy in the comments said that people who go to Whole Foods are the same people who think that the U.S. government was behind 9/11.
Wow.

Not to mention this gem:


Got to love the entitlement some Wings fans have.

Moving forward, if forty is the new twenty,
Detroit is the new Ottawa to us.

.............................................................

What we really enjoyed the most were the statements saying that The Pensblog lost all credibility we had when we gave the Red Wing preview.

If you come here seeking credibility, you drop acid.
End of story.

We were really offended when we were labeled as immature.
Because that makes no sense.



If this doesn't set up greatness for the Pens/Wings home-and-home series this upcoming weekend, nothing will.

Bring the noise.

.................................................................

Training Camp


Petr Sykora is out for 2 preseason games. [ TSN ]
He broke his nose after colliding with Brooks Orpik.




Crosby: on the PK? [ PG ]

"I want to make sure I can do a good job and I'm responsible out there, but, yeah, I'm interested," Crosby said.

.................................................

The Ice Bowl ticket frenzy has left Penguins officials and season-ticket holders stunned. [ PG ]
NHL Fanhouse reacts as well. [ Fanhouse ]


The tie matching the backdrop is why Bettman is a big deal.

...............................................

Steelerblog

Hines Ward is in some legal trouble over his bar in the Southside. [ KDKA ]

But believe it or not,
he is not the only member of the Steeler organization battling the justice system.
One member turned up on the sex registry list.


(By TPB Photoshop Guru Jeff ]

...............................................

If you do anything today,
read this story. [ PSAMP ]

It was written for PSAMP six-month extravaganza by the author of [Awful Announcing.]

Be warned. The story could change your life.
It could be why the Pens lost to the Caps in the 94 playoffs.

A little teaser:
"I had never seen my two Managers act like this and at about 10pm I left to one of them sitting on Kevin Stevens' lap."

Gold.

.......................................................

If you do anything today....part two.

Someone put the entire Game 4 of the 1992 Stanley Cup Finals on You Tube [ Empty Netters ]



Patti Burns owns.




...............................................



OPENING FACEOFF COUNTDOWN

Couldn't choose just one.
Take your pick.

See You In October. Dicks. Pens Win

5 - 2

Not a lot going on in the game tonight.
There is only so much we can take from the two homos who called the game.
The regular season games against the Habs are going to be hate fests.



Things of note from tonight.
Line combos:

Christensen /Malkin /Sykora

Esposito /Jeffrey / Hall

Stone /Smith / Filewich

Minard /Taffe /Kennedy

Defenseman:
Orpik
Whitney
Weaver
Nas
Ryan Lannon
Alex Goligoski
Deryk Engelland

Goalie:
Dany Sabourin

[NHL Super Stats ]

• Gary Roberts was out. He needed some rest after most likely satisfying every woman in Montreal last night.
• Malkin was a step above tonight. He wore the "A." Scored a huge goal in the third on a breakaway out of the box.
  
• Tyler Kennedy had a good game. Ryan Stone scored as well.
  
• Peter Sykora had a goal. But then he got hit in the face.
• A lot of jobber defensemen got some play.
• Whitney was +4
• Orpik laid a Hab out.
• Sabourin 21 saves, good effort.

...................................................
Depressionblog

The Winter Assic sold out in 26 minutes Tuesday morning.
Not even the iPhone could get through to TicketMaster.com.

Looking at this picture, this would be a mud seat for the game.
Or maybe we're just accustomed to watching it in an arena.

It was really a strange day.
You can imagine the levels of dissapoint a lot of people are feeling.

Some jobber apparently released the password for the Pens season ticket holders code in a thread over on letsgopens.com. And people were not pleased. [ LGP.com ]

But is there anyone to blame? No.
This argument is backed up by breaking news that neither scalpers, Blue Jay fans (WTF), Leafs fans, or any other large purchasing groups accounted for a huge majority of the sales.
[ Empty Netters ]

"The largest amount of tickets sold to an individual was 32, which is a small number given that over 42,000 were available the general public."
"Additionally, Toronto Blue Jays and Maple Leafs fans accounted for "only" 133 and 200 ticket sales today respectively."

Lost in all this is the fact that IceBowlBlog didn't even get tickets,
and they are running a website around the event.
[ Icebowl ]


Regardless, if you got tickets or you didn't, you have to hold your head high, knowing that all the moron sports media who always job hockey really have nothing to say right now.

Bottom line.
If you didn't get tickets, wait it out for a while.
If you want to go bad enough, there will be a way.

..........................................................................

PENS

...Sykora likes it in Pittsburgh. [ Post Gazette ]

"The No. 1 choice, when I looked around the league, was to either go back to Edmonton and play with Ales Hemsky or to go to Pittsburgh," Sykora said. "Sidney and [Evgeni Malkin] and [Jordan Staal], they're three of the best centers in this league. It was a no-brainer for me.

BGL broke that dude's cheekbone [ Canadian Press ]


(By Jeff Harr)
Sick

.............................................

A change in the NHL's scheduling format is imminent. [ TSN ]

Sean Burke calls it a career. [ Fanhouse ]

Oh, is that what you call it?
Seriously, though, in the late '80s and early '90s,
some teams would've killed to have Burke in their net.

Tawm sent us this:
Chris Thorburn played in front of his mom for the first time. [ NHL.com ]

.......................................................

For all you homophobes out there, look out.
The Sens signed Mike Fisher to a 5-year, $21 million deal.


Two Sens fans celebrate the big signing but can't stop to wonder why the Sens would overpay for Mike Fisher when Dany Heatley, Jason Spezza, and Wade Redden are all free agents after this season.

• Roberto Luongo is turning into a good source for quotes.

He was okay after getting hit in the throat by a Brad Isbister howlitzer in practice. [ NHL.com ]


When asked about wearing a dangling plastic throat shield:

"I'm still pondering the idea," Luongo said of the shield. "I've got to see what's more important, getting hit in the neck once or twice a year or letting in a couple of goals where you can't find the puck in your feet."

Special delivery for Luongo:




Martin Brodeur's 3 Vezinas, 4 William Jennings, 3 Stanley Cups, and throat guard could not be reached for comment.

..................................................

There's been some big-league jobbing taking place over on TSN's comment boards.

Following their victory Monday night, Habs fans were talking about the Stanley Cup and Sidney being a whiner.

After the Pens victory Tuesday, Habs fans told Pens fans to lighten up in response to Pens fan gloating.


Sorry for the small print.
Read it all here.

.........................................................

It was a fun ride in RBKBlog, but Chris over at Tournament of Logos is only just beginning. [ NHLToL ]


There's the comparison of the Edge jersey and last year's jersey.

In the Penguin logo poll, Stanley Cup Penguin is in first with 33%.
Pigeon and Vegas Gold Penguin are neck-and-neck.
Scarfed Penguin is on the short bus.

...................................................................



OPENING FACEOFF COUNTDOWN

Woe Is Many People

This isn't psychiatristblog, but if you want to read the common tale of woe of would-be Winter Classic attendees, read on.

We have sympathy for people who were jobbed by TicketMaster.
We're in that group.

We have more sympathy for people who don't have a grand laying around to throw down on two tickets.
We're in that group.

We have even more sympathy for people who knew about the Ice Bowl two months ago and planned on going before 99% of the population knew it was gonna happen.
We're in that group.

We have no sympathy for Jimmy McBusinessman who will throw down money on eBay to go the game with his homos while his wife is banging the mailman.

.........................................................

The dust cleared at about 10:45 am, when news outlets began reporting that the Winter Classic was sold out by 10:30.

So, what happened?

Well, you had fans from the two best hockey markets in the United States, not to mention hockey loyalists in Canada, dominating the TicketMaster.com servers and box offices at 10:00.

You also had TicketMaster not setting a limit on how many tickets a person could buy,
which meant brokers could be eating a Pop Tart and touching themselves while buying up tickets.

That's not to say, though, that Joe and Jennifer Schmo weren't able to purchase tickets.
It was the luck of the draw.

.................................................

If you're basking in the gloom of despair of not getting a ticket,
at least you can tell yourself that this is nothing but good news for the NHL.
Selling the game out (let alone this quickly) is a big deal.

Let's just hope that during the meetings for the Winter Classic, the NHL intentionally did not set a reasonable limit on tickets in order to get a sellout, knowing the predatory mentality of people on eBay and StubHub would salivate over being able to buy the tickets wholesale and wave them in front of people who laugh at the price.

Joke's on us because those tickets will be sold to someone else.

....................................................

In a perfect world, Ralph Wilson Stadium would seat 7 million people.
But since only 20 people actually care about the Bills, it wouldn't be feasible.

Well, that's it. Congrats to whoever got tickets.

We have a face-off on October 5 to worry about.

It Don't Matter. Pens Lose.

2 - 3
(OT)

Yeah.
And we are back.

You never really understand being a Pens fan until you start fuming when you hear some jobber on Montreal radio talking about some a-hole from the Habs running Marc-Andre Fleury.

That feeling of rage that has built up over a long summer slowly returns.
Then you hear things like Ruutu, Laraque, and face-wash, and you know things make sense again.

Either way, listening to the game Monday night, it seemed like it was anything but a preseason game.

The two jerkoff announcers were into the game early.
The crowd in Montreal was riled up for really no reason.

Guess that's what happens when your team doesn't make the playoffs.

Dicks. Go buy the new jersey.

.........................................................................

We missed the whole first period, because we had no idea it was on the internet.
LGP.com came up huge with this link:
[ CJAD ]

You should be able to get the game on that link Tuesday night as well.
As long as the internet can handle Gary Roberts' name being mentioned.

Here is the roster they went with tonight:


...................................................

The first period sounded whatev.

Laraque knocked some cracka out.

Nothing like sending some homo to the hospital the first game.
Solid work.

The second period was back and forth.
It sounded like MAF was sharp.
The Habs solved him midway through.


Yahoo pictures in mid-season form.
Credit the Habs goal to Andrei Kostitsyn.

Bing would even things up though.
He took a dish from Talbot and buried it past whoever is trying to play goalie for the Habs this year.

..........................................................

The not-so-important third period was surprisingly entertaining.

The Habs got a goal from some guy who will be parking cars next week.

The Pens seemed finish.

But.

Ryan Malone decided to see what was going on.
He jobbed to the front of the net. Got lucky.
Tied.

The rest of the third period seemed as if it was a late season playoff race type of game.
It is ridiculous to say that about a preseason game, but if you listened to it, you know what we mean.

The Pens had a bunch of power plays, but could not convert.
We heard Petr Sykora mentioned a lot tonight.
He was on the power-play late with Gonch, Letang, Bing, and Rex.

The game went into OT.
Bing got into a little scrap with Mike Komisarek.
Komisarek sounded completely out of control all game.
Maybe he should save energy for the subpar season he is going to have again.
Crosby got ringed for a penalty, as did Rex.
The crowd started the usual "Crosby" chant.

After the mess got straightened out,
Alex Kovalev got the puck with the Habs on the Power Play.
Floats down.


Game.

The Bell Centre erupted like the Habs have never won a game before.

Then, out of nowhere, the color commentator of the Montreal Canadiens Play-by-Play
fired a huge verbal shot before signing off.

"Bye, Bye, Sidney," he said in a taunting tone.

Bring it.

Stats:

• Bing: 1G, 1A
• BGL: 1 TKO
• MAF: 19 saves
• Pens Powerplay : 1 for 10
  

Misc:

• It's good to be back
• Montreal is really annoying
• Gary Roberts apperance tonight

...........................................................................

Unless you were making out with Angela Lansbury all day Monday,
you know something big is going down on January 1, 2008.




Do it.

....................................................

TICKETS GO ON SALE AT ticketmaster.com TUESDAY MORNING AT 10:00AM.
The Winter Classic is brought to us by an energy drink. Good Times.

....................................................

RBK Blog


And that's it.
All 30 teams have unveiled their jerseys.


More analysis will come when we can all readily see the uniforms in action,
but the white Oilers uniform just isn't a big deal.



We Googled for over two hours looking for a picture gayer than this one:


It just wasn't meant to be.

God bless NHL fans next season, when we won't have the anticipation of new uniforms to keep us going through the summer.
But that's 8 months away, so who cares.

....................................................

Around the NHL

...The Ducks have been reminded that they're not gonna stay on cruise control to get back to the Cup. Defenseman Matthieu Schneider is out for a month with a broken ankle. [ Fanhouse ]


That will equate to about 8 games.

The other defensemen on the Ducks are no-names.
Their own mothers don't know who they are.

We'll see if Scott Niedermayer is a leader.

.........................................................



OPENING FACEOFF COUNTDOWN


Newcomer can do anything he wants, but we won't let him make us lose track of the countdown.

Islanders Preview

Patrick Hickey Jr. is a freelance journalist that writes for and has been published in the Brooklyn Papers, The Wave of Long Island, The Brooklyn Free Press, Bay Currents, Mets Inside Pitch NY SportScene Magazine, NYSportsday.com and GothamBaseball.com. Hickey Jr. is also the Editor-In-Chief of Brooklyn College’s award winning student Newspaper, the Kingsman and is the former EIC of Kingsborough Community College’s newspaper, Scepter. He also has his own Islanders blog, TheDriveForFive.com, which is the only daily updated Isles blog on the net during the season.

Isles Season Preview

By Patrick Hickey Jr

After making the playoffs in the last day of the season despite a plethora of injuries, the New York Islanders were one of the feel-good stories of the NHL last year. Powered by career years by Rick DiPietro, Tom Poti and Jason Blake and the energy of new head coach Ted Nolan, the Isles looked to continue to winning ways into the new season.

However, after the departure of Blake, Poti, Ryan Smyth and important role players like Viktor Kozlov, Arron Asham and Sean Hill, New York will feature an almost completely new lineup in an attempt to show the rest of the NHL that they’re not the Rodney Dangerfield’s of the league anymore.

Forwards Analysis

Who’s In:

Jon Sim

Ruslan Fedotenko

Mike Comrie

Bill Guerin

Josef Vasicek

Who’s Out:

Jason Blake

Ryan Smyth

Alexei Yashin

Arron Asham

Viktor Kozlov

Randy Robitaille

Richard Zednik

The length of these lists may startle most hockey fans, but Islander fan shouldn’t be worried. Losing Smyth and Blake was extremely damaging at first to the organization, but after the signings of Comrie and Guerin, the Isles have effectively replaced the losses of their two biggest offensive catalysis from last season and may even be in better shape than they were before.

The reason being is upside.

Guerin is a lock for at least 25 goals, regardless of who he plays with and with considerable playing time, Fedotenko and Sim can blossom into consistent 20-goal scorers, while Comrie might even be able to break the 70-point mark after flirting with it a few times in his career. Add in the big European Josef Vasicek, who is primed for a breakout season after looking like Oleg Kvasha last season and it’s easy to see that the Isles will have four strong lines that are capable of producing offense.

Last season, the team had 11 players [Ryan Smyth not included] that lit the lamp more than 10 times. That number may not be two impressive, but it does show that a team can make the playoffs in the NHL with a balanced attack on offense, rather than a sniper or two. If the Isles do make the playoffs this year, it will be because they have more than a few guys that have to be watched, rather than one 40-goal scorer and some spare parts that inconsistently contribute.

However, in order to really be dangerous on offense, the Isles will need their youngsters like Jeff Tambellini and Sean Bergenheim to challenge guys like Andy Hilbert, Richard Park and Chris Simon for spots on the fourth line, while Miroslav Satan needs to bounce back from a mediocre 27 goal season last year, or the Isles won’t be able to give goaltender Rick DiPietro any support.

Outlook

The only problem with their forward lines is that their missing one more center that can play minutes and add depth to the power play and score some points. Shawn Bates will need to bounce back quickly after an injury-plagued season last year or Petteri Nokalainen may get a shot eventually. However with rumors circulating all summer about Jason Allison coming to the Island[cement skates included], the Isles may have a pretty solid group of centers that can all play in a variety of different situations and may have enough firepower to hold their own in a very dangerous Eastern Conference.

Defense

Who’s In:

Mathew Spiller

Aaron Johnson

Andy Sutton

Bryan Berard

Who’s Out:

Tom Poti

Sean Hill

Despite losing minute-munchers like Hill and Poti in the offseason, the Isles acquired two promising young D-men in Spiller and Johnson and signed the behemoth shot-blocker extraordinaire Sutton, while inviting the offensive-minded Berard to camp. These changes may not seem like very big ones, but in reality, they’re quite huge.

If Berard’s back and eye are in good enough shape, the Isles may have one of the best offensive bluelines on the powerplay in the NHL, as he and Marc-Andre Bergeron could easily rack up 45 points a piece. In addition, Sutton gives the Isles many of the same things that Hill did, but is young and much faster skater, even with his size and could prove to be an even bigger cog in the Isles defensive game plan as assistant captain Brendan Witt is.

With the loss of Poti and Hill, both youngsters Bruno Gervais and Chris Campoli will be asked to contribute more and after solid second seasons that saw both of them grow mean streaks and a quiet versatility to their games, you’d have to think they’ll be up to the challenge. Gervais seems to be the better defensive player of the two, but Campoli has the shot, skating ability and aggressiveness to be a very solid defenseman in the NHL for years to come. If both of these kids bring their A-game to the Island this year, the Isles may have one of the better defenses in the league.

Outlook

Barring any significant injuries from Witt, Sutton and Bergeron, the Isles defensive will surprise a lot of people in the NHL this year. Witt and Sutton will have to play a significant role in the physicality department, while Bergeron will have to make sure that his 21 points in 23 games on the Island last season were no fluke. The reemergence of the injured Radek Martinek during the season could also play an influential role in the team’s play down the stretch.

Goaltending

Who’s In

Maxime Oulett

Joey MacDonald

Who’s Out

Mike Dunham

When Rick DiPietro has his head screwed on right, he is a force to be reckoned with. However, when the charismatic goaltender decides to go skating out of the net, he destroys his team’s momentum and hurts his team more than anything else could. When Ted Nolan took over as Isles head coach, he went to a meeting by the team’s booster club where he was given a pair of bungee chords by a concerned fan that wanted to keep the enigmatic goaltender in the net.

However unlike last season, when Dunham looked absolutely atrocious and forced the team to play DP even after bad outings, the Isles now have a more than competent goaltender in Wade “Yoda” Dubielewicz that helped guide the team into the playoffs for the first time since the 2003-04 season.

Outlook

If DP can stay on top of his game and Dubielewicz can spell him from time to time, the Isles will have a more than competent duo in the net and will challenge with the last two playoff spots in the division.

If not, expect a long winter in Naasau.

Pens vs Habs

Listen Here [ Cjad ]

Go Pens

Behind The Photos: Ron Newcomer

So, it was a jobber Saturday night in early September.

We were looking for a picture of Jiri Hrdina.
Little did we know that our search would guide us to Ron Newcomer and his website.

[Celebrity Photos ]

The basic backstory on Ron Newcomer:
If you were a big deal between 1985-1996,
there is a 75% chance that you got your picture taken with Ron Newcomer.

.............................................................

Ron Newcomer Q&A

TPB: When/Why did you start taking these pictures with celebrities / sports stars?

RN:My hobby was attending country music concerts,sporting events, mostly & taking a few photos at an event I attended. As I attended the events, the best part would be meeting the people before or after the concert or game. Then my friends with me would take aphoto of me with them & I did the same for my friends. So whoever was with me would also meet & getautographs & a picture with the people as well.My first meeting was in 1973 at the Syria Mosque. An unknown up & coming country singer named Barbara Mandrell.I attended baseball games at Forbes Field before 1970, then many at Three Rivers Stadium including the firstvictory in the new stadium (the second game played there), plus many other memorable games. I became interested in hockey & the penguins in 1980 after watching the USA Olympic Hockey team win the gold medal. I've met many members of that team plusthe goalie for the Russian team. My first hockey game was in 1981. I attended many games for the next 15+years including the All Star Game & 1991 memorable Stanley Cup Championship games. Also attended a few games while vacationing in LA between 1986-1996. So I met Mario and others since they were rookies.

: Everyone wants to know -- How have you managed to get so many pictures

: I've been very lucky. I realize that today more than when I did this. The people (country music singers & sports players) back then especially (between 1973-2000) were always very nice. Including visiting team players. There were not that many of us fans who wanted autographs back then, & the players knew if we were there we were real fans & always polite.

: We see the pictures are in third-person. Who takes the pictures for you?

:Either my girlfriends or other friends attending the events with me. We always photographed each other with the famous people. So that means the celebrities wereso nice to stop for a couple minutes to talk, sign autographs, & pose for pictures with us.Later I would either see the person to get that picture signed, or my friends would get them to sign it for me, or I would mail the photos to get signed.

:What does your wife/girlfriend think of all this?

:I'm not married. My girlfriends over the years including today would go to many of these events & met the people also. I probably photographed my friends more with the players than I myself got. The players naturally will be nicer to the ladies.

:What sports star/celeb photo is your favorite? Who is your least favorite?

:I have met so many favorite sports stars & celebrities when I mention a few here there are many more I forget to mention that are & were just as nice. The Penguins from the 1980s & 1990s & their families were always great. Same with the country singers & TV stars. I dokeep in touch with some of the singers & TV stars today. Some I've been reunited with through MySpace.

: What was the last Pens game you attended? Get any pictures?

: The most recent game was about 5 years ago. I did not wait for autographs or pictures. I did attend in Wheeling a reunion game a couple years ago & met & photographed.

: Any chance of you coming out of retirement for one last magical tour?

: I still attend some concerts & events every year, including the CMA Music Fest in Nashville. I would like to attend the Penguin games again sometime. I've never been to either new stadium. I haven't been to LA in over 10 years. My friends keep begging me to come back there again someday so hopefully that willhappen. I do have a MySpace about my photography. That gives
more of a detail description about my photography. I look at the internet & all as a way to share my photos I've taken over the past 35 years. Photos are meant to be seen not stored away forever.If you have any other questions please ask.
Thanks.
Ron

P.S. My schedule of events on MySpace includes some friends shows that I may or may not attend.
I like to mention there shows either way.
Anyone who contacts me on MySpace please email me about yourself.
I like to know the people I keep in contact with.

: No Ron. Thank you.
..........................................

So, the last task at hand is releasing the first ever Ron Newcomer Photoshop Expo.
As always, thanks to everyone for contributing.
( If you sent one and it's not here, e-mail us and it will be put into the Expo and into the Monday night's post. )

(Click to enlarge)

LLOYD JONES


SPENCEMO


RANDY LONGO


PATRICK JACKSON





MATTHEW NELSON



MATTHEW G. JONES


MATT PESYNA


J SCHIFF


JOHN HENRY


J KARPP


ELLIOTT LIVENSPIRE








DON K. SHOW


DAVE P.


ALEX CARROLL



Tom-Tom

.........................

Go Pens

Second Fiddle

We'd complain about the lack of Pens coverage by the Pittsburgh media in reference to the start of training camp, but it really is a dead horse.

• KDKA did have a nice interview with Lord Therrien.
• WPXI covered Rick Walsh trying to makeout with a Steeler.
• WTAE doesn't even exist.
  

In the end, it is easier just to pretend that everyone who doesn't care about the Pens is eating poop.

Speaking of poop....

Yahoo breaks through with another horribly written article. [ Yahoo ]

"The Penguins ran through conditioning tests Thursday at the South Side facility where the Pittsburgh Steelers practice. Not surprisingly, some Penguins gave into temptation and picked up some footballs and began tossing and kicking them on the Steelers' indoor practice field."

"We've got some skill that's exciting," forward Maxime Talbot said -- and he wasn't referring to football.

The writer needs to go back to Journalism 101.
That wrap-up is why people cut themselves.

Speaking of people cutting themselves, journalism, poop, and the Steelers,
CW had some Steeler show on.

The girl that works for Steelers TV will go down as one of the worst broadcasters in the history of television.

Says who, you ask?


Patrice King Brown and Ron Newcomer.
That's who.
..........................................................................

Training camp blog

Pretty standard stuff from Saturday. [ letsgopens.com ]

Randy Longo sent some pictures in:

News and notes:

Sabourin is happy to be back. [ Post Gazette ]
Malkin is making strides. [ Trib ]

...............................................

NHLTOL Blog

Vote on the best logo in Pens history --

the scarfed penguin, Stanley Cup penguin, pigeon, Vegas Gold Penguin.

The Canadiens and Oilers have reached the final four in the big tournament.
Ottawa-Philly and St. Louis-Vancouver are battling for the other two spots.
A potential all-Canadian final is a distinct possibility.

MORE JERSEYS


This dude may actually make the Blues opening-night roster.


Photographer: "Give me some gayness."

................................


Gotta like the red shoulders on the away jerseys.


And we finally get a look at the Oilers jersey.
GM Kevin Lowe wants to sign the elbow bands to a two-year deal.

It really doesn't feel like it, but the Sharks, Sabres, and Oilers are the only teams remaining to officially unveil their jerseys.
.............................................................................

[ Pens tv ]


We have heard that they may be showing the preseason games.
But that is still unconfirmed.
Either way, it seems pretty cool.

................................................................

The worst thing about the NHL season starting up again is that we now have to revert to hacking our way through the ads on ESPN.com to find some NHL news.

Luckily, Linda Cohn hasn't made an appearance since the Finals.

Scott Burnside gives his Eastern Conference burning questions [ Burnside ]
-- With the Pens, he phones it in by saying the Pens are gonna have to adapt to being Stanley Cup contenders out of the gate this year, that they added depth to the blue line, and the questions surrounding the unproven backups behind MAF.

................................................

WTFBlog


None of us wanted to say it, but that's a solid arena.

This ESPN article talks about the evolution of training camps.
It also says that the Sprint Center will be hosting a St. Louis-Nashville preseason game.
[ Terry Frei ]


Whoops. No St. Louis preseason game there.

All we found in relevance to this was an article covering a St. Louis-Nashville game at Kemper Arena in Kansas City...in 2005. [ SportKC.org ]
Maybe we read the Frei article wrong.

And maybe, Terry Frei...


you're a joke.

....................................................


Send an email to this address if you are interested in going:
icebowl2008@yahoo.com

This is the email that the people coordinating the trip for Pens fans can be reached.
So far, they told us that about 200 people have confirmed.

• The early plan is, they will be renting a bus to go up there, maybe even two.

• You will need to tell them how many tickets you need as well.

• They are also working on setting up a PayPal account to order the tickets all together, to save money on group tickets.

Now, that is the hazy part. Because apparently the Sabres are being shady.
No one is sure if they're just waiting for the official announcement, or if they're just being dicks.

Needless to say, if you are interested, contact that email.
There is also a [ MySpace page ]

................................................

You'll be hard-pressed to find a Pens fan who doesn't like Darius Kasparaitis from his days as a Penguin.
He lives forever because of Game 7 in Buffalo.

However, these videos may change your life.
Watch Kaspar wait for the referee to turn up ice and then proceed to douche Mario.



This next one doesn't look so bad because
a) Jagr sees it just in time to mostly avoid it.
b) a lot of people hate Jagr.

Regardless, Lemieux was all smiles after Kaspar scored in Game 7.

.........................................................................

Comcastblog
(Thanks to Jeff Quinlan)

The NHL network is coming to Comcast effective 10/16. [ Comcast ]

...................................................................................

Secretblog

Good friend Jeff Harr found something on the Internet that is going to help out all Pens fans not in the Pittsburgh area.
We don't want to ruin the surprise.

Mr. Harr is writing us a detailed explanation of the huge find.
We will have it out sometime this week.

........................................................



OPENING FACEOFF COUNTDOWN



........................


8

There's No Turning Back. Welcome To A New Season.

We don't know much about much, but if you want to know what's going on at training camp,

there is only one place to be [ LGP.com ]

The lines on the first day were:

Sykora-Crosby-Recchi
Roberts-Malkin-Christensen
Armstrong-Staal-Malone
Laraque-Brent-Ruutu
Esposito-Talbot-Adam Hall

Chances on Vigo keeping these lines together for more than 5 minutes is not likely.


If you don't know who Vigo the Carpathian is, you got some catching up to do in life.

...............................................................

• Staal getting a legitimate shot to center the third line. [ TSN ]
• Atlantic Division Preview [ TSN ]
  

................................................................

For people that are new here, never come to us for breaking news.
We'll be all over it when Lemieux announces his comeback in mid-November, but other than that, we just react to the news.

The Post-Gazette's Penguin page is our first stop every day. [ PG PENS ]

There's some diddies on there about Therrien's philosophy and Staal's act of contrition.

And a nice article on Malkin preparing for his second year.


And a picture that proves Alexei Zhitnik actually played last year.

...........................................................................

Around the NHL

• Patrik Elias may be getting stripped of the "C" in New Jersey [ Fanhouse ]
  

--If this is the first you're hearing about it, it's because the Devils are yesterday's news.
A couple more losses to a rejuvenated Rangers and Flyers team this year, and the Devils drop to third or fourth place.

• We may need a Jobber of the Day award.

It would go to Roberto Luongo today. [ Vancouver Sun ]

" Cowan lost an edge during a high-speed one-on-one rush and slid hard into the Hart and Vezina Trophy runner-up. The two became entangled in the net and it seemed like an eternity, although it was only seconds, before they were able to regain their feet. Happily no one was injured.

'I was wondering what was going on,' said Luongo, who was able to chuckle about it after the fact. 'I thought maybe he took a page out of the Anaheim Ducks’ playbook.'"

• The Predators love Nashville so much that they're raising ticket prices by 25% to pay for all the players they didn't sign. [ Tennessean ]
  

...............................................

Blogblog

-- NHL.com has changed their box score format for this season,
as some dude noticed when looking at the Kings-Ducks exhibition recap. [ Hockey Numbers ]

Coach Bob Hartley handed out these t-shirts to the players at camp [ Blueland Blog ]
Are we alone in thinking the determination factor is killed with the exclamation point?


Whatever a zip car is, this is it.
People can sign up to drive them around, with proceeds going to the children's fund. [ Kukla's Korner ]
The company will not pay for your medical bills when you get beat up.

....................................................................



OPENING FACEOFF COUNTDOWN

First Day of Training Camp?

Do the Penguins really start training camp today?
If you aren't excited, we can't help you.

Here's the most extensive Penguin season preview you'll see [ Faceoff Factor ]
They asked us to write up something. Of course, we cover the jobbers.
Pat from [ Doubtaboutit ] contributed a solid piece.

Thanks again to Faceoff Factor for asking us to contribute.

....................................................

April 19 10:58pm --
The last time anything mattered.

It still feels like we just lost Game 5 yesterday.



..................................................................

Cheer up, Jordan. You're playing in the Ice Bowl, bitch. [ Yahoo ]

Plus, it's a shame we gave out the Jobber of the Week Award yesterday.
Yahoo would've nabbed it today.


This pic was on the front of the Yahoo NHL page.
Quick, succumb to the teaser and click the story to read about the Pens.
Too bad there was nothing in there about them.

......................................................

The Buffalo Sabres have been jobbing their new jersey around.
You know where to go for that news.

They had a photoshoot, which included the mascot.
Wow, that's gay. Nice pants.



We brought in our resident expert to confirm the homoness.


"Yeah, that's pretty gay."

Speaking of Ben, we have some NFL news.
By NFL news, we mean someone jobbing Rothlisturder.

Ryan Wilson from NFL Fanhouse is now up there with the likes of Ron Newcomer.
[ FanHouse ]

In a post that documents Hines Ward and Deshea Townsend rehashing how the Patriots were one step ahead in the 2001 AFC Championship Game, Wilson finished with this sentence:

" By the way, it's worth noting that none of the Steelers blamed the Patriots for the 2004 AFC Championship beatdown. That loss falls squarely on Big Ben's shoulders. "


WOOOOOOOOOOOO!

............................................................

NHL 08 Blog

Commentor demondg1

We're getting reports that Gary Roberts' aggression rating on the game is only 80.
Ryan Whitney's aggression rating is 81.
Gary Roberts eats Whitney's lunch for him.

Cdubbs dropped us an e-mail, saying if you watch the NHL 08 victory (HD) video on IGN.com, at the 00:54 mark, a Penguin defenseman has the name "LEDOUCHE" below it.
We did some detective work.

Screen one is 3 seconds before the alleged sighting:


The shot in question


As you can clearly see, it does say "LEDOUCHE"
That was clearly just for this video, because it is not in the game.

Moving on.

First person to send us a screenshot of Roberts dominating on NHL 08 gets to name this blog whatever they want for a day (within reason).
We're serious.

• Goal celebrations don't count.

• Standing around doesn't count.

thepensblog@gmail.com

It may just be the pixelation talking,
but the Blues away jersey looks pretty sharp on NHL 08.



Want a gallery of every jersey from NHL 08? [ NHLToL ]

If you have the game. Enter this code...

h3oyxpwksf8ibcgt

...to unlock all the RBK jerseys for PS3/XBOX 360 [ Gamespot ]


In review of the game.
It is worth the money for any platform you enjoy.
The detail of the game is simply amazing.
The rosters are a bit of an issue, but a roster update will be along, as it always is.
Don't get caught up in the PS3 frame-rate issue, either. Ours works flawlessly for PS3.
XBOX is solid as well.

Martin Havlat and Evgeni Malkin are unstoppable at times.

.................................................................

Don K. Show found an exclusive photo of Gary Roberts on Pens season-ticket delivery day.


Two seconds later, one of these people was covered in feces.

Everyone aware of the Dallas Stars billboard marketing scheme for this year?


Alex Carroll sent this one in for the Pens:


.............................................................

Newsblog

Former anchor of KDKA Ray Tannehill passed away. [ KDKA.com ]


Big-time journalist in the late '80s and early '90s.
You knew you were in good hands when All Day Ray Tannehill was burning up the teleprompter.

R.I.P.

..............................................................



The best thing about the internet is that if we miss something in an e-mail,
the URL is there waiting for us.

• Ex-Penguins in the NHL [ The Sweater Ted ]

Really solid read. Apologies to Jimmy for the late mention.

• The Top 5 Pens prospects [ Is This The Year? ]

• Who is the next Patrick Roy [Barry Melrose Rocks ]

• Meet the new Mrs. Patrick Elias [ via Empty Netters ]

One can only hope she utilizes the neutral zone trap in the bedroom.
Whatever that means.

..........................................................



OPENING FACEOFF COUNTDOWN


Steve in Denver brings us Mike Bullard.
Former Pens captain.

#21
There's only one choice.

Have a nice weekend and enjoy Pens camp.

Sitting Ducks. Anaheim Ducks Season Preview

Ducks Season Preview
By Earl Sleek, Battle of California



Division: Pacific
2006-2007: (48-20-14) 110 points
Playoffs: 2nd seed
Finish: Stanley Cup Champs

Leaders:

Andy McDonald – Chris Kunitz
(27G - 51A - 78P) – (25G - 35A - 60P)

Chris Pronger – J.S. Giguere
(13G - 46A - 59P) – (36-10-8, 2.26 GAA, .918 sv%)

Key Losses—Dustin Penner (Edmonton)
Key Pickups—Mathieu Schneider (Detroit), Todd Bertuzzi (Florida/Detroit)

In Limbo:

Teemu Selanne – Scott Niedermayer
(48G - 46A - 94P) – (15G - 54A - 69P)




Go ahead and vomit. I don’t mind.

That’s right, Pittsburgh. You may have won some lottery ball contest for some kid named Crosby, but it’s the web-footed ones whose beer tastes like silver polish these days. Let me just get the gloating off my chest early—Seriously? You guys lost to Ottawa?! Four times?!

Anyways, I’ve been trying to avoid writing up a season preview for the Ducks until there was some definitive news on either the Niedermayer or Selanne retirement fronts, but seeing as people like their previews before Christmas (plus I’m a sucker for Pensblog’s harassment), I’ll give it a shot. Here’s 5 things I’ll be looking forward to this season for the Anaheim Ducks:

1. Chris Pronger—I know I have been awfully spoiled watching Niedermayer and Pronger trade blueline minutes all last season, but having done so I have come to this conclusion: Scott Niedermayer is a defenseman who impresses your eyes but Chris Pronger’s a defenseman who impresses your spreadsheets. Covering all situations, Niedermayer in the playoffs was on the ice for 24 goals for / 26 goals against, and he won a Conn Smythe. Pronger, meanwhile, was on the ice for 32 goals for / 15 goals against, but his elbows kept him out of trophy consideration. I never expected to worry about Scott honoring his contract (for some reason, I kept guessing “Chris”), but if I had to choose, I’m glad Pronger’s the one who’s definitely playing next year—he owns the ice out there, and seeing as I’m a shallow guy who likes good results, it works out just fine.

2. The Pahlsson Line—As opponent after opponent found out last spring, the Ducks have a shutdown line of Sammy Pahlsson, Travis Moen, and Rob Niedermayer that draws all the toughest minutes—even strength and penalty kill. They get rigorously matched against an opponent’s star players, then work their asses off to keep them off the scoresheet. In the regular season, the tough minutes earned Pahlsson a Selke nomination, but in the playoffs, they took it up a notch—they outscored top opponents, and ended up forcing coaches to split up Gaborik from Demitra, Sedin from Sedin, Zetterberg from Datsyuk, and Alfredsson from Spezza. So now the secret’s out. How hard will opposing coaches work to avoid the Pahlsson line, and how will that affect their output?

3. Ryan Getzlaf and Corey Perry—Two years ago, they were 4th liners playing largely with Todd Fedoruk. Last year, they were 2nd liners playing largely with Dustin Penner. Is this the year where they become first-line leaders? They certainly have benefited so far from playing behind the Selanne line—how will they do against top shutdown defenders? I’m really impressed at how the Ducks have managed these kids thus far—never having the pressure of carrying the team. In the end, who were the top two scorers at the end of the playoffs? Getzlaf and Perry. They really are unique talents, Getzlaf the stallion and Perry the snake. But they’ve played together so much they’ve become as synonymous as Kariya and Selanne, and that’s saying something in this town.

4. J.S. Giguere and the $24 million contract—If there’s one guy I worry about underperforming his contract, it’s not Todd Bertuzzi, it’s J.S. Giguere. Now I’ll admit that Giguere certainly passed up money by not testing free agency, and certainly his numbers were fantastic last year—including the playoffs, the Ducks were 50-14-8 when Giguere started. I’m probably over-worrying, but $6 M is a lot to commit to a goalie in today’s market. Still, there is one thing that Jiggy brings to the table—you can’t teach clutch, and he’s got it. Giguere is 12-1 in career playoff OT games, stopping 114 of 115 shots in more than 250 OT minutes. Still, I’m not fond of his habit of missing the first game of the playoffs, something he’s done two years in a row now. Thank god for crazy Russian Ilya Bryzgalov. Also, thank god for that crazy Tennessean Jack Daniels.

5. My geographical study of Road Boos—Brian Burke loves thugs. Pronger the elbower. Brad May the sucker-puncher. Todd Bertuzzi the infamous sucker-puncher. George Parros the moustache. The Ducks led the league in fighting majors last year, and were the most penalized team in the playoffs as well. They are quickly becoming the NHL’s most hate-worthy team, almost to world-wrestling proportions. Pronger draws hearty boos in San Jose, Edmonton, Detroit, and at some point Ottawa. In Denver though, Bertuzzi is likely to draw the boos. In Minnesota, it’s going to be Brad May. If I get drunk enough, I plan on drawing up a tri-color North American map, to show which Duck players draw the loudest outcry in which city. Damn, maybe I’ll have to color England as well.

Well, that’s the top 5 things I’m interested in seeing this coming year—although I nearly mentioned “How good is Beauchemin without Niedermayer”, “How good is McDonald without Selanne”, and “His nickname is Schneidermayer”.

Prediction: Regular season? I think they fall 2nd to the Sharks (I thought this last year as well), but with wildcards named Selanne and Niedermayer, things could really swing wildly in the Pacific. I guess you’ll just have to stay up late and find out.

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Pensblog Take

Whatev.
The Ducks have the bull's-eye on their backs and their balls.

The Ducks owned the NHL last season, while getting to whoop on Phoenix and Los Angeles 16 times in the Pacific Division.
But, hey, they won the Cup.

They're still waiting on Niedermayer and Selanne to stop jobbing,
but unless Pronger's wife decides she's seen enough of the West Coast, the blue line is still money in the bank.

Behind Pronger, you still have the GoodYear Blimp in net.
Giguere's pads are a disgrace to the world.

There's no reason why Anaheim isn't the favorite going into the season.
Damn it.

All Good In HomoTown. Detroit Red Wings Season Preview

Being that this is really our first full season to get a crack at previewing teams, we decided to contact other bloggers to have them tell the stories of their respective team's season.

We will be running a team per day, possibly two teams, possibly six, all through September.

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Next up we go to the Detroit Rock City.

Christy from [ Behind The Jersey ] is the blogger that will take us on the guide of the defending Central Division Champs.

Christy has been around longer than pretty much everyone in terms of NHL Blogging.

Division: Central
Last Season: (50-19-13) 113 points
Playoffs: 1st seed.
Owned by Ducks in conference finals.
Leaders:

Pavel Datsyuk--Henrik Zetterberg
( 27G-60A-87 P)--(33G-35A-68P)

Nicklas Lidstrom- Chris Chelios
(13G-49A-62P)- (Still Alive)

Goodbye to you...

Over the past summer, the Wings bid farewell to four former players. Kyle Calder and Robert Lang were told to look elsewhere and they signed with the LA Kings and Chicago Blackhawks respectively.

The other two players turned down Wings offers to go for the bigger money in Anaheim. Todd Bertuzzi signed a two year deal worth $8 million that paved the way for the Edmonton Oilers to snatch restricted free agent Dustin Penner. The bigger loss for the Wings was that of veteran defenseman Mathieu Schneider. The Wings certainly felt his loss during the playoffs when he suffered a broken wrist. He signed a two year deal with the Ducks and will be making a total of $11.25 million.

Let me introduce you...

The Red Wings have a few new faces on the roster for the upcoming 2007-2008 season. The biggest signing came on July 1st when the Wings picked up offensive defenseman Brian Rafalski. While he doesn't have the offensive numbers Schneider earned over the last couple of years with the Wings, Rafalski should see a jump in his numbers while playing for a team that will encourage him to play as an offensive defenseman. Rafalski will be wearing #28, which was previously worn by rookie Tomas Kopecky (he'll wear #82).

The Wings then added veteran forward Dallas Drake, who should play on the fourth line. If you recall, Drake played for Detroit back in 1992-1994 before being traded to Winnipeg. While some fans may not approve of Drake getting a spot that a younger up and coming forward could've taken, I like that we added a physical veteran for only $550,000. Not too shabby. Drake will be wearing #17, formerly worn by Kyle Calder and Brett Hull.

Look for rookie Igor Grigorenko to earn a roster spot during training camp. He doesn't have the speed he once had before a life-threatening car accident, but he's a physical player who will be welcomed by many fans on the roster. He has spent the past six years since the accident in Russia trying to regain his form after suffering broken bones in both legs and a fat embolism in his lung while at the hospital.

But the Wings feel he is as healthy as he is going to get so they'll give him a shot at training camp. If he doesn't get a spot, he will play for the AHL affiliate, Grand Rapids Griffins, for three months before jumping back to Russia (that was written into the contract). For that reason and the fact that the Wings haven't signed a big forward, I believe Grigorenko will be playing in the Winged Wheel this season.

How will the Wings do this season?

Last season, the success of the team heavily depended on the health of veteran goaltender Dominik Hasek. The Wings are going with the Hasek-Osgood goaltender duo this season so the same question remains. Can he stay healthy for another season? If he doesn't, will we be able to get another goalie at the trade deadline? If it's after the deadline, can Chris Osgood rise up to the challenge? If Hasek stays healthy and plays like the crazy Czech that he is, the Wings will be all set in the net. I would expect goaltending prospect Jimmy Howard to see some play, but Osgood should be the backup goalie this season.

Do I think the Wings have drastically improved from last season? No, but they did lose deadweights Lang and Calder. Admittedly, Lang had an incredibly critical goal against San Jose in the playoffs, but the rest of the time he spent on the ice gave Wings fans ulcers and a reason to yell at the TV.

While the Wings have only picked up a veteran forward who will spend most of his time on the fourth line, he is another physical body to make the Wings an even more physical team. We all had our doubts on how the team would play in the playoffs and they proved to be physically and mentally tougher than all their opponents (until they met Anaheim and I still blame the series loss on Andreas Lilja's boneheaded play).

Certain players like Johan Franzen and Valterri Filppula will have to step up their play to fill the offensive void left by Lang, but there is no reason the Wings can't win the Central Division and be one of the top Western Conference teams once again.

Unless the Wings are able to re-sign defenseman Danny Markov (which is unlikely and TSF predicts he'll be playing in Pittsburgh), the team will give a defensive roster spot to a fresh face. While there are quite a few players who could earn the spot, it'll probably go to Derek Meech. Why? Meech has to pass waivers if he's to be sent down to Grand Rapids and another team would pick him off and the Wings would get nothing in return.

Another possibility is Kyle Quincey, who played solidly in the postseason when defenseman Niklas Kronwall and later Schneider were injured. The biggest defensive prospect is Jakub Kindl, who will play for the Griffins in the AHL this year. However, I believe he will have to wait another year or two before jumping to the big league.

.................................

Pensblog Take

The Yankees of the NHL have adapted beautifully to the salary-cap era.
Their expected demise after reworking contracts, retirements, and relatively low activity in the free-agent market hasn't happened.

They lost Robert Lang, Mathieu Schneider, Kyle Calder, and Todd Bertuzzi.
Bertuzzi is mud anyway.

Their smothering defense makes up for having only one productive scoring line.
How good will that defense be now with the Devil-minded Brian Rafalski joining the blue-line corps via free agency?

Hasek's still there, stopping all 11 shots he sees every game.
Chelios is somehow still there.

And Detroit will still be there, somehow, at the top of the Central,
waiting for another team to knock them off in the second round of the playoffs.

Hockey Weather

RBK Blog

Those solid stripes down the arms look a little ehhhhhh.......

And these are still your grandmother's Maple Leaf jerseys.

What is Jason Blake doing? What a clown.


I'll kill you

..................................................

Second things second.




The Ducks have suspended Scott Niedermayer for not showing up to camp.

Big deal.
But, wait. Now his $42.3 million won't count against the Ducks' cap this season.
Or something. We don't know what's going on. [ NHL Fanhouse ]

Basically, the Ducks and Niedermayer could job and circumvent the salary cap.


Dicks

.......................................................

9/12


US Airways says "Hey, Pittsburgh, we're gonna cut some more flights....
but we also dedicated an airbus to the Steelers on the same day of the announcement to smooth it over."
[ Post Gazette ]

Veteran move.

No word on whether or not the engines will choke if it flies over Heinz Field in January.

...........................................................................

The Pens signed three coaches to extensions. [ LGP.com ]


You talk solid ties, you talk Mike Yeo.
He's two seconds from putting that lady behind him in the Sharpshooter.

When you hear Errey say, "I talked to Mike Yeo..." you know a big third period is just beginning.

......................................................................

Mirtle is a big deal. [ James Mirtle ]
He is conducting a poll, asking fans which teams are gonna make the playoffs.
The Pens are second, garnering 98% of votes in the East.

..................................................

The Ron Newcomer Q&A is ready to go.
It crashed our computers when it hit our Gmail account at 7:31 pm on Wednesday.


J Karpp

Q&A and Photoshop Expo coming Sunday night.

...................................................


Goal Judge Blog

We got this news straight from the horse's son's mouth.

The Pens have eliminated goal judges completely.
No man behind the net, and no dude up in a box watching a video screen.

When the normal timekeeper of the game sees the ref's hand point to the net, the light goes on.

We got the news from Matthew Rudzki...
son of Leo Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrudzki (as it is announced prior to every Pens home game by Jon Barbero.)


Marty says thanks, Matthew.

......................................................



OPENING FACEOFF COUNTDOWN

Gary Rissling

You know the NHL season is close when Gary Rissling makes an appearance.

We couldn't find Victor, and Kjell is still playing the pass in Game 7.
Gary Rissling was due.

#22?

Ramble On

Friday, 9:00am.
Camp Therrien begins.

Quite frankly, we cannot wait.
He looks like he's about to give someone the Razor's Edge.

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Training Campblog

The Pens invited 14 prospects from the rookie tourney to camp. [ Trib ]

We linked Letang yesterday.
And now here are the rest of the Post-Gazette's looks at the big names in Kitchener.

[ Jonathan Filewich ]

[ Ryan Stone ]

On his wrist injury:

"Just in the gym, [doing] a couple of things, it kind of lingers. But you're not bench-pressing when you're playing hockey."

[ Tyler Kennedy ]

..........................................................

Matthew Nelson sent this our way:


A Red Wing goalie at rookie camp.

The guy doesn't deserve our time to even find out what his name is or provide a link.
If he's picking #66 because Lemieux is his idol, then the dude shouldn't be playing goalie.


Dick.

.....................................................

One person you don't want to mess with: Raitis Ivanans. [ Battle of California ]

That is scary.

You know what's coming...

Ron Newcomer and his friend Scott Baio aren't impressed.


..........................................

Newcomer Sneak Peek


Matthew G. Jones

Good news for people who want to Photoshop but don't want to buy/download it.
A bare-bones online application is in the works. [ Gizmodo ]

** We found that link courtesy of Digg.com.

For those not familiar with Digg, it's a community that finds the coolest stuff on the internet every day and "diggs" it so other people can see it, too.

Our goal in the coming weeks is to properly plant Ron Newcomer's site on there.
A lot of people would be interested in it.

.......................................................................

The Islanders hire Mike Dunham to be the goalie coach. [ Fanhouse ]

Two funny reactions to this story.

1 . Seth at Empty Netters with the best reaction joke about this story.

"Former Penguin Garth Snow, also a former Islanders netminder, is the general manager. At this rate, Tommy Soderstrom is going to be in charge of ticket sales." [ Empty Netters ]

Gold.
Anytime anyone drops a Tommy Soderstom reference, we're linking it.

Maybe one of the worst goalies of all time...wearing one of the worst jerseys of all time.
Gave up Lemieux's 500th goal on a jobber wrister from the slot.

2. Waiting for Stanley with this outstanding photoshop. [ Waiting for Stanley ]


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Knowledgeblog

If you latched on to use of the word "pwn" without knowing its origin (like we did),
we dug up some things. [ Wiki ]

As we suspected before we searched, it had something to do with "P" and "O" being in close proximity to one another on a keyboard.

It involved a World of Warcraft-esque game where, when you got beat,
a message came across the screen that said "you got owned."

But someone messed up or something,
and the message read "you got pwned."

Odds are we are wrong on this.
If anyone can shed some light on this in Commentblog, please do.

.......................................



OPENING FACEOFF COUNTDOWN

Scored some big goals.

Also in the running:
Ian Moran
Ville Neimenen
Lyle Odelein

Thoughts on #23?

All That Jazz. St. Lous Blues Season Preview.

If you want an in-depth preview of the St. Louis Blues, this is it.
We contacted bloggers and told them it could be as short or as long as they wanted it to be.

Sean Gallagher said bring it.

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Sean Gallagher is the publisher, editor and smartass-in-chief of the fan-based, unofficial Blues program, St. Louis Game Time. The print version of Game Time is sold outside all Blues home games to the hardcore fans of the team. The program’s website www.stlouisgametime.com archives all of the season’s past issues and is also the home of all of the staff writers’ assorted unpublished rants, raves and unbalanced, Kaczynski-esque manifestos.

Division: Central
Last season: 34 - 35 - 18
( 10th spot )

Kariya ( 24-52-76 ) -- Weight ( 16-43-59 ) -- Tkachuk ( 27-31-58)

Legace

23W-15L-5OT
2.59GAA - .907 SV%

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Crappy Mascots, Free Chicken & Playoff Hopes: The 2007-2008 St. Louis Blues

By Sean Gallagher

No preview of the 2007-2008 St. Louis Blues would be complete without acknowledgement of what new management has brought to this team: some good ideas, some truly stupid ones, but above all, the return of respectability. These Blues aren’t likely to be skating Lord Stanley’s Cup come June of 2008, but at this point, reaching the playoffs is an attainable goal and one that would breathe life back into a fanbase that has been wary of this franchise since the waning days of the Bill & Money Laurie ownership.

With the non-resigning of Pavol Demitra, the trade of Chris Pronger for 50 cents on the dollar of value to Edmonton (who later regretted the move as Pronger effectively crapped on their hearts just one year later) and the refusal to add anyone to the roster who wasn’t fresh off the waiver wire, the 2005-2006 Blues and their “let’s destroy our investment in order to sell it” ownership did at least a half-decade’s worth of damage to the franchise’ long-rabid and faithful fanbase as well as to its competitive edge. It has taken two years of work by the energetic ownership group headed up by Dave Checketts and crew just to get back to respectability.

Along the way, the new team of Checketts, general manager John Davidson, coach Andy Murray and other behind-the-scenes players like director of scouting Jarmo Kekalainen and vice president of hockey operations Al MacInnis have made some smart moves and some silly ones. Such is life when a management group that made its fame and fortune heading a high-glitz franchise like the New York Rangers. As they are realizing, some things that play on Broadway simply generate the stinkeye in St. Louis.

Positivity!

The Young Prince. The Blues and their fans can look forward to watching the beginning of our next Pronger begin his career. Erik Johnson, the only real positive taken away from the 05-06 season as the first overall draft pick that summer, will take to professional ice for the first time this October. Expect a standing ovation when he first touches skate to ice down at the DrinkScotch Center and expect lots of overanalysis every game from then on. He’ll likely see time in one of the top two pairing as well as time on the powerplay. Being the next big blueliner for a franchise that has always focused on having good blueliners is asking for a lot of attention and added pressure. The kid seems to be up to the task of following in the franchise footsteps of beloved blueliners Bobby and Barclay Plager, Noel Picard, Rob Ramage, Scott Stevens (for the one year that reminds us all regularly of what could have been), Al MacInnis, Alexei Guasarov, Chris Pronger, Eric “The Visor” Weinrich and through on to today’s Barret Jackman and (hopefully) Eric Brewer. Maybe he’s ready to step into the role, but we’ll have to wait and see if he’s still getting top pairing minutes come January.

All Hail King Paul. If Erik Johnson is the Blues next king in waiting, free agent pick up Paul Kariya is set to be the current King Of The Blues for this year. Kariya has the potential to return to point-per-game status this season and if he does he would be the first Blue to do so since Pavol Demitra tallied 93 points in 78 games in 2002-2003. Kariya has excelled on the powerplay and the Blues man-add was positively despicable last year, connecting but 12% of the time. Kariya’s slick passing combined with Lee Stempniak’s crazy-good one-timer could be lethal if the chemistry is as potent as the chemistry concocted in the DrinkScotch bar at 14th & Clark when our founder, Jeffio, orders his Wild Turkey and Budweiser combo.

Additionally, fans can all hope for the call-up of depth winger and brother of Paul, Martin Kariya, who was signed this summer just before his big brother pulled on No. 9. The Blues have a tradition for skating brothers in the same lineup, starting with the Plager brothers, Barclay, Bob and Billy, who struck fear in the hearts of the Blues’ foes. The Blues have also employed brothers Noel and Roger Picard, Rich and Ron Sutter (of course, brother Brian captained St. Louis, but did not get to play with his brothers) and Paul and Gino Cavallini. Could Paul and Martin be next? Kariya the Younger was impressive during the Blues’ Prospect Camp (now called a more politically correct Development Camp) and will be pushing hard to try to steal a spot at training camp this September. If he shows any ability to score against NHL-caliber talent he could well see time in St. Louis this year.

Manny Is The Man. For all the focus on the forwards and defensemen on this team, this is really Manny Legace’s team. Or, to be more specific about the task at hand, this team will only go as far as Legace can take them. After starting last season as yet another shaky former Red Wing goalie who had a penchant for soft and poorly-timed goals (cough, cough, Osgood, cough, cough), it took a mid-season puck to the mask in practice to knock Legace unconscious and simultaneously knock some confidence and ability into his head. Like the equivalent of a cartoon character having his personality changed by the application of a free-falling anvil, that Dennis Wideman slapshot did almost as much to help the Blues’ fortunes as the team’s firing of Mike “I heart chicken wings” Kitchen. Upon his return, Legace started playing for the Blues like he had played for the Wings, flat out stealing games at times, a quality not often exhibited by Blues netminders.

If Legace starts this year as well as he finished last year, the Note will be well on their way to a playoff berth. If however, someone has anvilled him this summer and returned him to his crappy goalie state, St. Louis could well be on their way to a third straight slow start to the season.

Excellent play from Legace is a must if the Blues hope to return to the post-season and a great season from him would break another recent Blues tradition: a revolving door of underperforming pretenders in goalie’s clothing. The Blues have employed no fewer than 11 goalies in the last four seasons, including the likes of burnt-up Chris Osgood, damaged goods Reinhard Divis, [drug-related innuendo omitted] Brent Johnson, Patrick “Latrine” Lalime and Freddie Braithwaite to play significant minutes.

A solid Legace playing 60-plus games would be a gift for this franchise.

Youth Will Be Served. The line of Jay McClement, David Backes and Lee Stempniak was solid late last season and will likely start the new year together. McClement’s responsible two-way play combined with Stempniak’s shooting and Backes’ balls-out play on every shift makes them a well-rounded and effective line. Coach Andy Murray doesn’t use a typical first-through-fourth line approach, so it doesn’t matter that the youngsters are penciled in as the team’s “third line” as they’ll likely receive as much icetime as the team’s “gold” and “silver” lines. [As an aside, changing the names from 1 through 4 is nice, but when the line names become gold, silver, rust and dirt, the effect seems to be minimalized]. Expect to see Stempniak on the top powerplay unit with Kariya, Backes to work his way onto a powerplay unit at some point and McClement to anchor one of the shorthanded units.

An honest evaluation of this trio is to admit that they are probably NHL second liners at their peak, though Stempniak has the upside to become one of the NHL’s better (but not best) scorers. This year will probably tell the tale on what kind of career he’ll have - a consistent second-line scorer or a streaky depth player. McClement looks to be a great third line centerman who can be counted on to score 10-15 goals a year, but his true calling is to be a shutdown defensive forward who could be a beloved Blue for years to come. I just wonder what his new number will be, now that Kariya was given his No. 9. I hope he at least gets a nice payoff from Paully for stealing his lucky digit.

Upside, Thy Name Is Defense. The Blues blueline could excel this season, and if joined by a solid Legace, would help propel the Note into a playoff race. Jay McKee, who tallied just as many points and attended fewer Blues games than I did last year, would bolster the defense if he can stay healthy. Shutdown defense and shotblocking is a tough way to make a living in the NHL, but getting paid $4 million a year should take some of the sting out of the bad days.

Eric Brewer was born again on the day that Mike Kitchen was fired and his play after Kitch packed all his shit in a cardboard box and turned in his office keys was reminiscent of his Edmonton days. That, accompanied with fans suddenly shifting their curse of “we got you for Pronger” onto Erik Johnson with “you’re our next Pronger”, lifted a weight off his shoulders. Not only was he meaner on defense, he also started to score more and was seen to smile for the first time in over a year and a half*.

(*not an exact statistic).

Reinvigored Brewer, healthy McKee, studly Johnson, and a nasty Barret Jackman combined with steady if unspectacular play from two or three of Christian Backman, Bryce Salvador, Roman Polak, Jeff Woywitka and Matt Walker could be a great, if somewhat faceless to fans outside St. Louis, defense.

These Guys Get What “Fan-Friendly” Means. For the second straight year, the Blues, in association with the company with naming rights for the building, Scottrade, offered $7 season tickets in the upper reaches of the bowl. For fans like me (read: cheap) this is an amazing deal. Plus, as someone who believes (read: convinced himself to believe) that you can follow the game better from up top where you can see plays develop, you just can’t beat season tickets that cost a total of $308 a seat. When the cost of your beer is higher than the cost of your seat, you can be certain of one thing: there isn’t a better deal in the NHL.

Free Food Day! Management discovered last year that if you can’t lure the fans to watch mediocre hockey and if you’ve run out of jersey numbers to retire, nothing packs the house like free food. All you can eat chicken strips, hot dogs, popcorn and sodas brought out the food hounds in force. A game was even played and some people even watched it between trips to the concession stands. There is no lasting record of who won that game, but I still have a gross of chicken strips in the downstairs refrigerator.

Learning from their successes as well as from their mistakes, Blues management has announced that there will be another Free Food Day this season as well. Huzzah! Honey, get the kids and meet me at the van!

Negativity!

Not all the news is good in Gateway City for Blues fans, as the management continues to make moves on and off the ice which can be deemed questionable at best. From the short-lived Strippers On Ice Blues Ice Girls, to the current concept of an on-ice mascot, to the money-burning move of re-signing Doug Weight and Keith Tkachuk, management has proven that they are human and will make mistakes. How bad these decisions end up being will unfold in 2007-2008.

Ice Whores. The Blues attempted to change the image of the sophomore Ice Girls this season, attempting to upgrade from tweener girls wearing jerseys and long pants to girls from the “entertainment” and “dancing” fields for this season. After tryouts and an initial practice ended in catfights and several gallons of glitter and baby powder being wasted, the Blues scratched the entire idea, going so far as to scrub the pictures and video from their official website. A fan of catfights, but also a man who brings his young kids to the games, I’m not sure if I’m happy or saddened by this turn of events.

It remains to be seen who will be scraping ice from the goals and boards this season.

Bluie The BlueNote. I have no idea who came up with this idea (and no idea what the actual mascot will be named/look like), but I’m sure it wasn’t someone who knows much about Blues hockey fans. Hot on the heels of the Ice Hoors demise, the Blues are now looking for someone willing to wear a sweaty animal or musical note costume 50 to 70 times a year. Whoever signs up for that gig is, first of all, insane, and secondly, clearly not ready for the comments he’s going to hear from the drunken hardcore fan who doesn’t take kindly to having his view of the ice blocked by a sweaty moron in an animal/musical note costume.

The Message Of A Taskmaster. Andy Murray gave the Blues exactly what they needed last year: a swift kick in the ass. Reminding the locker room that they were in the business of themselves and that their businesses were failing was a message that was well received. Known for not coddling players is a Murray hallmark and was a welcome change from the mixed messages of Kitchen, who could not make the transition from player-friendly assistant coach to I’m-in-charge-here head coach. But how long will that message work? Players are notorious for tuning out hardass coaches after the message gets stale. Let’s just hope that we’re still early enough in the system and that Murray has a few more tricks up his sleeve, otherwise the malaise that was clearly visible from the cheapseats last year could return and sink the Blues.

Second Line Guys In First Line Roles. Doug Weight and Keith Tkachuk’s best days are behind them. So are Paul Kariya’s, for that matter. But these are the guys who are being paid first-line salaries and being expected to play top minutes and produce top line statistics. It isn’t going to happen. Excepting Kariya, who I do believe will have a great season statistically, the Blues basically have assembled three second lines. Besides the Kid Line, the Blues are counting on Tkachuk (20 goals in a Note last year), Weight (59 points last year), Martin Rucinsky (12 goals in 52 games), Petr Cajanek (48 points and skin as soft as a young girl’s) and deadline acquisition Brad Boyes to deliver enough offense to net the Blues 100 points in the standings. Of those six, only Boyes can be described as having upside at this point of his career. If the other five put up similar numbers to last year, there may be some long nights coming this year.

And so it looks like the Blues are going to be counting on goaltending, defense, Stempniak and Kariya to make the second season. Other teams have used similar formulas to make the playoffs, but I’d be more confident if that Keith Tkachuk money and some of the cap surplus had been used as, say, Chris Drury, Scott Gomez or Daniel Briere money.

Predictions!

In the time-honored tradition of Game Time, here are my Top 11 Predictions for the Blues Season:

11. Free Food Day is a rousing success, but the cumulative fat built during the game sinks the DrinkScotch Center three inches in three hours. Welcome to St. Louis!

10. Jay McKee suffers at least one injury that keeps him out of 20 or more games. Fans say the words, “four million freakin’ dollars” an estimated four million times during his absence.

9. All proof of the failed Ice Whores debacle are archived deep in the bowels of the DrinkScotch Center next to a heaving box of “Gretzky 99″ jerseys.

8. Stempniak meets, but doesn’t exceed, his scoring totals of last year. The bulk of his goals come during the powerplay.

7. Tkacuk and Weight continue to be fan favorites, but Tkachuk scores no more than 30 goals while Weight tallies no more than 50 assists.

6. Sales of “Johnson 6″ jerseys are brisk despite his struggles in his rookie season. He’ll play the whole season in St. Louis, but will never seriously contend for Rookie of the Year honors.

5. Paul Kariya enjoys a point-per-game season and despite his emotionless interview style, is embraced by fans of the team as a favorite.

4. Martin Kariya starts the season in Peoria but sees some time in the NHL. He scores at least one pretty goal against a good goalie, giving fans hope, but is unable to stick with the big team. Three years from now he is quietly released, having perfected his impression of Peter Sejna.

3. Manny Legace and the crowd of faceless but effective blueliners steal several low-scoring games for the Blues against better teams.

2. The headpiece of the new mascot is stolen at least once during the season.

1. The Blues, led by Kariya’s scoring statistics, a collection of several second-tier goal scorers, a nasty defense and the heroics of