The Other Side of Monday

JOBBER SIGHTING

Taken off the Penguins thread at HFBoards.com:

" I've been trying to develop a hockey blog about the Penguins this summer. I've got a couple posts, but nothing very interesting, so far.

I read some other Pens blogs, primarily EmptyNetters, Confessions of a Hockey Fanatic, which I like a lot, and Pensblog, which I don't. (No offense intended, but I'm not a 15 year old boy.)
I'd like to do something a little more Pens specific than that, as much as I like it.
Maybe something along the lines of the Where Have You Gone, Andy Van Slyke? blog -- only about a team that's considerably less depressing.

If you were a reader or blog writer (or are a blog writer) what would you like to see in a Penguins blog? I keep up with everything Pens related, but I'm 1) currently living in NY state and 2) not a hockey player myself, since there weren't any girls teams when I was growing up in Pgh. This isn't a plea for readers, I just want some suggestions on what would be interesting, and what other blogs I should take a look at.

Thanks, all. "


People don't want to read some terd's opinions. Take that to the bank.

If you're gonna make a blog that just copies and pastes Pens articles from around the internet, you don't know what's going on.

The last thing we would want to do is go to a site and read 5 paragraphs about why a writer knows more about hockey than anyone else.

Empty-Netters doesn't do that.
It's a blog with ties to a major newspaper.
It walks the line brilliantly without being opinionated.

Faceoff-Factor doesn't do that.
We house the same hockey intellect that they do, but they aren't making fun of Big Ben every day.

If you're looking for in-depth Pens analysis, go to Faceoff-Factor.

If you're looking for reader e-mails, YouTubes, and hockey links from around the internet, go to Empty-Netters.

If you live in your parents' basement, come to this blog.

Good luck starting a Penguin blog in 2007. It's a long road.

If you really want to start a blog, start a SteelersHate blog.
Nothing joins people more than a common hatred.
And you can only imagine how many people in the USA hate the Steelers.

..............................................

More Crap:

A lot of junk in commentorblog about this or that blog replicating ours.
All we can say is that we are just a bunch of morons who are lucky to even get up in the morning.
We could care less about it.
You know what they say:

If you can't take the heat...

Get off Al Gore's Internet.

Any Penguin blog that gets started during our existence (as Empty-Netters, Faceoff-Factor, and GuinsBlog already know), will have to face a couple jobs from us early in their infancy.

If you take our job seriously, you shouldn't be at a computer.

.....................

Anyways, you talk boring hockey-news days, you talk July 30, 2007.

The only big deal was a news story that broke, talking about the NHL and ESPN being in talks to bring hockey back to the worldwide leader of homos.

" A return to ESPN could boost the league’s profile on the network’s news shows. According to an ESPN study of its 1 a.m. “SportsCenter” program, the show featured 29 fewer minutes of NHL coverage in March 2007 than in March 2004, the last year ESPN aired NHL games. That amounts to a 28 percent decline in hockey’s allotment of airtime, ESPN ombudsman Le Anne
Schreiber wrote in May. "


In semi-related Penguin news,
Michel Ouellet had this to say in an interview:


BL.com: You scored 11 of your 19 goals last season on the power play. Where do you see yourself contributing most with the Lightning and what do you feel makes you so successful on the power play?

MO: With Pittsburgh I had a chance to play right in front of the net and that’s where maybe 75 percent of my goals were scored. If you’re not around the net, you won’t get those rebounds and it’s going to be tougher to score some goals. With the Lightning, hopefully I’m going to have a chance to be around that net again and to create some scoring chances.


Two things to look forward to this season:

1. Booing Michel Ouellet.
2. Drinking yourself into a coma after Ouellet rattles off 3 goals in 5 seconds to beat the Penguins.

................................................

One good thing about the offseason is that you get a chance to catch up on some bad TV.
And if you like bad TV, you will love "The KillPoint" on Spike.

First off, it is filmed in Pittsburgh.
Good ol' Market Square.
Which, without the usual cast of the homeless, crazy meth addicts and general street trash, doesn't have its charming look.

Second of all it has Donnie Wahlberg as a policeman, John Leguizamo as the bad guy and the guy who was the jigsaw killer as the mayor of Pittsburgh.
Basically other than the Pirates, it is the worst show in town.
But we can get past this.
If they could just do some things different it would be heading for Emmy City.
Here are our suggestions.

• Even if it means sacrificing the storyline, Have Gary Roberts make a guest appearance that somehow involves him becoming the main character, and killing everyone with a stare, a lighter and bottom of Vladimir Voka.
  
• Have a failed siege on the bank, that leaves a veteran SWAT leader on the brink of death.
• SWAT leader: John Fedko
• Switch the real life Mayor (Ravenstahl) and the fake Mayor (Jigsaw).
• Let John Leguizamo reprise his role as "Tybalt" from the 1996 " Romeo & Juliet"
  
• To torture the bank robbers, the police will play any song by the Clarks over loud speakers.
• At least one joke per episode about Big Ben getting picked off.
• A picture of Mario Lemiuex has to flash across the screen before every 30 seconds.
• Jean Claude makes a guest appearance, only to get his own reality spin-off series about him working at Primanti brothers.
  
• Have the bank robbers accidentally shoot special hostage negotiator Jake Wheatley.
• In the series finale Mark Eaton blocks a gunshot with his teeth, enabling Gary Roberts to pick the bank up and throw it into the Ohio River. Everyone drowns. Pens win the cup.
  

.........................

Penguins training camp:


Steelers training camp:

Picture: Big Ben's only completion of the day.
There girls probably run Herpesblog.


How big of a baby is Whines Ward?

"It's been happening all day," Ward said. "You do it one time, OK, but you don't keep letting it happen and happen. And if the coaches aren't going to say something about it, then, [heck], maybe a player has to say something about it.

"We're on the same team. We're not the opponent."

Game. Set. Match.

.................................................

A Winter in the Sun
Game #60
February 22, 2007
T-Bo. T-Bo. Pens WIN.

2 - 1
Overtime

NHL.COM RECAP


When was the last time a Penguins team rode a once-backup goalie to the playoffs?


If Thibault doesn't start against Tampa on Sunday, there's something wrong.
It's safe to say that we can now afford to trade Fleury.
Make it happen, Shero.

What? How can you jump to conclusions that fast?
Welcome to world of the overblown Penguin-goalie carousel.
...........................................................

Huge third period.
And, well, if you weren't holding your breath every time Florida took a shot in the third, then you aren't built for playoff hockey. T-Bo was money when he had to be.

Showing MAF how it's done.

Everything changed with five minutes left.
The play starts going back and forth, and Crosby gets nabbed with a high-sticking penalty.
The Pens penalty-kill unit comes onto the ice with the game on the line.

Maxime Talbot flops around like a fish, blocking shots.

There was a better chance of the Red Cross in downtown Pittsburgh accepting blood from Magic Johnson than one of Florida's shots getting through during that powerplay.

No Thanks.

The penalty is killed off, then a delay-of-game penalty against Florida puts us on the powerplay towards the end of the third and into overtime.

Gary Roberts was clearly trying to fix the game so that the Pens would trade for him.

It definitely felt like we would capitalize on the 4-on-3.
The only definite thing to say is that the Pens 4-man unit would be the last thing I'd want to see in overtime if I was another team.

The Pens don't capitalize, but never fear.
Soon thereafter, Ryan Whitney springs Colby Armstrong and Maxime Lemieux on a 2-on-1.
Colby glides towards the net with more patience than Cedars-Sinai.

Commentorblog said:

rachel said...

Max was just going crazy this game. And then I just love this video...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HjopCpzY8bA

Colby's moonwalk was hilarious!

New stat:

When Staal scores the Pens are 19-0-3

2/23/2007 12:24 AM

Solid
...........................


Day number

Guess.


.................
Countdown to opening night:

August Will Smell A Little More Like Hockey

So much for Michael Ryder's arbitration.

The Canadiens avoid a joke of a contract and instead give him...a joke of a contract.

$2.95 million for 1 year.

Let's not kid ourselves.

It's $3 million.

Ryder is not worth this money.

........................................

RBK Blog

New Florida Uniforms


Buddy Lembeck from Charles in Charge makes another appearance.
Gotta say these are pretty sharp.

You know what else is sharp?
The razor Scott Mellanby used when we did coke with a couple rats in the locker room back in 1995-96.

The Florida Got-Swept-in-the-Finals-Ers played a reunion game.
Reading this article makes it sound pretty cool, and it probably was.


Just had to make an appearance.

If your brain doesn't stop for at least 10 seconds when someone mentions the 1996 Eastern Conference Finals, you don't know what's going on.

.....................................

Here at Pensblog we rarely do anything nice, and generally try to offend as many groups of people as we can.

But we figured we should pass this along.

A long time reader
"Barasson 35," as he is known in commentorblog, emailed us this weekend.
He is a displaced Pittsburgher living out in the Midwest.
Kansas, correct us if we are wrong.

To make a long story short he hasn't seen a live Penguin game at the Mellon Arena in 11 years.
He is making the trip home in February 08' for the three game home stand against Isles, Kings and Flyers.

He asked us what seats we would recommend.
To us as long as we are at the Mellon we are cool.
But it brings up a valid point.
What are the best seats at the Mellon Arena?

section-C is solid.
D has its moments.
If you ever student rushed you know B like that back of your hand.
E is OK.
F is high but not bad.
And A is big time cash money.

For our money we'd go with section -C about halfway up on the side.
But drop a line in commentorblog if you want to, to help good ol' Barasso out.


................
In other news,
Blogger was temporarily down today:



Google's servers were down for 4 minutes because it couldn't compute the homoness emanating from Kenny Melvin's new blog.

The Skating Penguin

.....................................

A Winter in the Sun
Game # 59
February 19,2007
The Islanders Again? PENS LOSE.

6 - 5

NHL.COM RECAP

POST-GAZETTE EMPTY NETTERS RECAP
IT'S A GOOD ONE.


The ghosts of Glenn Healy and the 1993 Islanders were awoken on Monday afternoon.

There's really nothing to say about this game because we didn't see it, because of work stuff.
It is most likely better for everyone that we didn't get to see it.
Because Ted Nolan jokes would've been everywhere.
Although listening to Mike Lange on the radio when the Isles scored was gut-wrenching.

Let's face it, everyone. This is only the beginning...
...of the longest month and a half of our lives.

Picture: Adam when he got off work at 3:30.

Commentorblog said:

Doug said...

Steigy: "I don't remember having school off for President's day, do you Bob?"
Errey: "Uh, I was in Canada"

Priceless.

2/20/2007 1:43 AM

Commentorblog doesn't miss a thing
.....................................




The countdown will start tomorrow for real.
It is at 67 today we want to start it at 66.

Sunday School

Nothing going on today.
This post is shorter than Michel Therrien's bench in the playoffs.

J-Schiff sent this in:

So true

Do the Pirates still play baseball?
.........................
Quick Penguins news.

Rob Scuds gave up his #5 for Daryl Sydor.
Scuds will now wear #4.
At least he won't be the worst Penguin to ever wear #4

Stiff

While searching for a picture of Hatcher.
We found this:

Bottom right corner.
If you can name who that is, you are money.

......................
A Winter in the Sun
Game #58
Feburary 18, 2007
We'll Take It. PENS WIN.

3 - 2

NHL.COM RECAP

How disappointed are Pens fans gonna be when this team finally forgets to show up for a game?

Besides having a heart attack when turning on NBC at 3:25 only to see Tom Lehman chipping from the fringe, today was just a normal game in the playoff homestretch.

The Capitals came out hitting, just like every team is going to do when they play us.
Gotta give them credit; they have given the Pens all they can handle in every game this season. But make no mistake: the Caps are still goons.

And that was proven early when Reyjavik, Iceland, took a penalty for hooking.
Ensuing face off.
Crosby to Gonchar.
Gonchar on net.
Recchi with deflection.
Goal.

Why the Caps didn't make the referees go upstairs to look for a high stick is crazy.
The Pens killed that Christensen penalty off and basically the game went back and forth.

Somehow, early in the second period, Mark Eaton gets called for a holding penalty.
The Pens killed it off.
Eaton streaks out of the box as a 2-on-1 with Maxime Talbot develops. Talbot fans on the pass.
He's close to a goal, ladies and gentlemen. You can feel it.

Ten minutes later, Eaton goes to the box again simply to see if he can generate another 2-on-1.
It doesn't work.

The Mellon Arena looked like the set of a porno movie today.
Semin was everywhere.

Commentorblog said:

Rwarner174 said...

Gotta give the Bellowing Moose credit. At least he ate his words.

Its great to see the pens winning and not even playing there best hockey.

2/18/2007 8:55 PM

.................

Day number

( J-Schiff is in mid season form)


Countdown to October 5 starts tomorrow night

100 Days Later

In Pens news, we saw Ray Shero getting gas at the Canonsburg Sheetz on Friday.

He talked the cashier down to $1.26 a gallon and got an MTO to be named later.

Also, the Pens re-signed defenseman Ryan Lannon to a one-year deal.

..................................................

NHL.com gives Hall of Famer Ronnie Francis some love.


The Pens will be raising an Advil banner to the rafters on October 6,
to commemorate Ron Francis carrying the team in the 1992 Patrick Division Finals.


They will also be raising a banner depicting a dual-clutch transmission,
to honor Francis' tying goal in Game 7 against the Islanders.


After further review of the tying goal in Game 7,
the War Room has declared that Loser Chris is a homo.

...............................................

The Rangers unveiled their jerseys.




So far, two Original Six teams have shown their new uniforms.
They're still the same great design.
Here's hoping the remaining four (Detroit, Toronto, Chicago, Montreal) don't mess with theirs, either.

............................

The Sabres continue spending money.
They signed Derek Roy to a 6-year, $24 million deal.

" It's a hefty deal for a third-line center coming off a career season in which he finished fifth on the Sabres with 63 points (21 goals, 42 assists) in 75 games. The deal represents a significant raise for Roy, who made $627,000 last year. "

He was a +37 last year, 5th best in the NHL.

Plus/minus is a big deal.
Coupled with his 63 points last season, take it as you will.

================

Interesting development in arbitration proceedings coming on Monday.

Montreal's Michael Ryder is up for arbitration.
30 G, 28 A -- But he was also a -25.

Is he gonna be worth $4 million a year?
No way.

For an excellent article breaking down plus/minus, go here.


...Brian Burke isn't too happy with Kevin Lowe
"I was not notified of this until an agent faxed it into us," he said. "I thought Kevin would have called me and told me it was coming. I thought that was gutless."
"My issue here is this is the second time this year in my opinion Edmonton have offered a grossly inflated salary for a player, and it impacts on all 30 teams and I think it's an act of desperation by a general manager who is fighting to keep his job."

Oilers fans reaction to possibly having to give up a first round pick for Penner?

Stunned

.............................................

If you've been visiting a while, you may remember when we tried to job a look at the goalie masks of the NHL.

SI.com sticks their goalie-mask review in our anus.

Two up-close shots of 36 masks.
Very well done.

...........................................

Rumors are circulating...


Mario is in the best shape of his life.

..................................................

NHL94Online.com

Play NHL94 online, compete in leagues.
(Thanks to Jesse of Faceoff factor for the spot)


The Flames starting forwards in NHL94:


Unreal.

........................................

Don Cherry is pissed at the Toronto Sun in regards to their coverage of the Staal story.


Here is the guy who wrote the original story for the Sun.

Frank Sinatra called, dick. He wants his hat back.
The '50s left a message as well. They want their fashion back.
No women called.


.............................
DarkKnight blog

If you have been visiting this site for a while you know we are huge "Heroes" fans.
Well, we also enjoy the Batman series.
So expect a few Batman references leading up to the release next year of the Dark Knight.

We are only mentioning this because the Dark Knight, sequel to the unreal Batman Begins, teaser trailer was released today using a viral marketing campaign that is pretty cool.
A fake website popped up called..Whysoserious.com.
It contained clues and an apparent message from the "Joker."
After all day they finally released the teaser trailer:



Sick.

Here is a new picture as well:



If you need any batman info.
This is the site for you.

....................................

Winter in the Sun
Game #57
February 16, 2007
No Sympathy For The Devils. PENS WIN.


5 - 4

Six seconds later, it's 4-1. Sidney ends his meaningless goal-less streak.
We're 13-0-2....and Crosby had a nine-game goal-less streak during that stretch?
Is anyone complaining?

Two minutes after Crosby's goal, Fleury turns into Andy Moog and gives up a lazy backhand goal to Patrick Elias, and the game was 4-2.

Four minutes later, Moore gets a shot on net, and Ruutu follows up to get his second goal of the game.
It was 5-2.
Time to button down the hatches as the third period began.

Commentorblog:

Brett said...

Shut up about Eaton

............................................



Day Number


Where did 100 days go?

WOW WOW WOW

Ladies and gentlemen, take a look at this.

A Buffalo Bills fan went to Ralph Wilson Stadium on July 24 to check out the view from his seats.
He has a camera phone with him.

Even female Pens fans will get an erection when they see this.

Courtesy of the Trib:

The Penguins seemingly are a leading candidate to play an outdoor game against the Sabres in Buffalo, if such an event is staged this season.

No announcement on a possible "Ice Bowl" will be made when the league releases its 2007-08 regular-season schedule at 2:30 p.m. today. However, the Buffalo News reported in today's edition that the Sabres would likely play host to the outdoor game, likely on New Year's Day, against the Penguins -- provided logistical issues can be addressed.

According to that report, a game would be played at Ralph Wilson Stadium, which seats 73,967 for football.

League officials would not comment, but the NHL is believed to favor the outdoor game being played in a northern U.S. market. New York City has been ruled out, and Detroit general manager Ken Holland told the Buffalo News that he did not see the Red Wings participating in an outdoor game this season.

An outdoor game would be televised on NBC.

Penguins vice president of communications Tom McMillan told the Tribune-Review last week that the club recently informed the league that it would willingly participate in an outdoor game, but only as a visiting club.

Jobbin' Ain't Easy

Kneel, Guins Blog.

Rise, Jobber Guins Blog.

The Guins Blog

If someone responds to one of our jobs with a rational counterjob, they're good in our book.

They call us hypocritical, saying our stance on player's personal lives is a joke, in regards to Dany Heatley, Roethlisberger, Shrek Steeler Fan.

Our thoughts?


Maybe the funniest photoshop since at least mid-April.
(Thanks Loser Chris)

.......................

Pens News

Mike Lange is back for one more round.
Odds are he's gonna try and hang around to see another Cup in the next couple years, then bolt.

Don't take anything for granted, though.



And of course, we search the dark reaches of the internet, and we're not disappointed.

This Mike Lange site, from circa 1995 internet, brings the pain.

It gives us all of his famous goal calls and Lange-isms.

Note:

The Pensblog didn't exist last June when Lange was let go by Fox Sports Net.
While perusing Google results, we came across the newspaper articles announcing the incident.

Conclusion: Bob Smizik is a douchebag.

His article's headline?

"Cow-kicked. FSN Fires Lange."

Using one of his own expressions to relay his firing?
What a joke.

IMDb profile counter:

Mike Lange - 1
Bob Smizik - 0

................................................................
No good way to segue this:

Thanks to Andy for sending it in.

......................
Kevin Lowe is at it again.
In a move that can reflect the rumored purchase of the Oilers by Ted Dibiase, the Oilers are trying to job another NHL team.

This time, it's the Anaheim Ducks.

The Oilers have tendered Dustin Penner an 5 year, $21.25 million offer sheet.

If the defending champions, who by no coincidence are already at the cap limit, match the offer sheet, they'll be over the cap by $2 million.

Penner had 29 goals, 16 assists, for 45 points.
Michel Ouellet had 19 goals, 29 assists, for 48 points.

Does anyone even know what is going on in the NHL right now?

........................................

Brett Hull Blog



Someone up there loves us.

NBC gives Brett Hull the boot.
Brett Hull has taken a job in the Dallas Stars front office.
Former coach Mike Milbury will be taking Hull's place.


Fast forward to about 2 minutes in.
Classic stuff

=======

In more Brett Hull news, he admits to cheating in this latest SI.com story covering cheating in sports.


In regards to the stick-curve rule, Brett Hull says:
"It's the stupidest rule on earth."

The other cheaters mentioned in the article are...


Jean-Sebastian Giguere
That is insane.


Craig Ludwig
Those shin pads are shot-block city.

..........................................

Winter in the Sun
Game #56
February 14, 2007
Blackhawk Down. PENS WIN.


5 - 4
(SHOOTOUT)

The second period opened up with the same taste of mud. The Blackhawks got a power play, but Max Talbot scored his signature shorthanded goal, as he took advantage of the Hawks playing Martin Halvat on the point.
Sadly, it was the only real mistake Halvat and his mullet made all night.


Definitely the best in the business right now.


Mr. Malkin, Tear Down This Wall.



Game.

Commentorblog:

Loser Chris a.k.a. CDY said...

"fact": If it wasn't for Jonathan Cheechoo, the Pens would be 44-3-9.

fact: Mark Eaton was originally cast as Jack Bauer, but the producers had to let him go when he kept saving the country in under 3 hours.

.................................................



Day Number


Basically everyone outside of the 412 and 724 area codes bows down to this man.

Planes, Trains, and New Logos and Uniforms

You can bet your bottom Euro that we're gonna be on top of the new RBK uniforms and new team logos like Lindsay Lohan on a line of coke.

We went searching today and were not disappointed.
We found the blog of the millennium for logo and uniform enthusiasts.

Some dude has a blog simply titled NHLlogos.blogspot.com.

This could very well be the definition of an information blog. What a site.
He has the countdowns of when teams are unveiling their new logos and uniforms.

What's even better is that he is doing a Tournament of NHL logos.
Each logo goes up against every other logo in their respective conference.

Unfortunately, this monkey doesn't think the Pens logo stacks up against the rest of the NHL's.
He even suggests that reverting to the pigeon logo would be an upgrade.
To each his own.

No one came up with this cool idea before him, so this guy can basically do whatever he wants.

The Pens are mired in mediocrity at the bottom of the Atlantic, with a 2-7 record.
The Penguin attained its two victories over the Rangers and Lightning, because the guy hates logos bearing the team name.
Every other logo has DDT'd the skating Penguin.

The Penguin recently went up against the Panther:

" The Panthers logo looks downright scary, let's just be clear on that. The Penguins logo makes an attempt at looking mean but it's feeble at best. I don't think it should be carrying a hockey stick and wearing old-fashioned gloves. I also think the secondary logo would be an improvement, which it was for a time until the Pens returned to this one. "


The Wild logo is undefeated so far. 10-0.

The webmaster, Chris, has given us permission to use his sleek logos as our new logos.
And his standings in his side bar inspired us to do what we wanted to do long ago with the Atlantic Division.

Also courtesy of that blog are these disasters sent in by a reader:


Even K-Mart wouldn't sell these.

.....................................

Free Jordan Staal

In Penguins news today, Jordan Staal was arrested and charged with underage consumption of alcohol at a resort in Cook County, Minn
Whatever.
Who hasn't done this.

Interesting tidbit from Staal's agent:

"It's nothing," Rick Curran, agent for both players, said today. "It's ridiculously nothing. Eric and Jordan and [their brother] Marc had gone to bed."

Sounds like the Minnesota police are still bitter about 1991.
We are blinded by our love for the Penguins.
Jordan Staal is innocent.

In a related note, Gary Roberts has put the state of Minnesota on 24-hour notice.
Notice for what?
Only Gary Roberts knows.

Back to Staal.
At least he wasn't operating a motorcycle without a license.

Although this looks like the Steelers 2006 season, it's actually Ben's accident scene.

The fact that it happened over the weekend, and it is now Thursday means who cares.
Whatever. Nothing to see here.
If you have a problem with this.
Go to hell.
.................................

Job Tour appearance

The picture that we hate made its way onto the TheGuinsblog today.
We said we would we flip out if any Pitttsburgh blog posted said picture.
And well...

We should have been more specific.
We meant a Pittsburgh blog that people actually read.

Dick.

.......................................


The construction of The Prudential Center in Newark, New Jersey, is in the homestretch.

Devils fans have been flocking to the arena site.
Watching the arena being built is actually more entertaining than a Devils game.


Homo.

Speaking of which, the Devils signed Ian Moran.

........................................

A Winter in the Sun
Game #55
February 10, 2007
12th Round TKO. PENS WIN.
(Kind of fitting that today we recap Staal's hat trick.)


6 - 5
(OT)

Lord Therrien used five different line combos in OT, and everything was going fine. The Refs had to make Leafs fans happy though and called a penalty on Rob Scuderi.
Well at least we got a point....

Hold the phone.

The following faceoff. Mark Eaton, using mind control techinques, makes Nik Antropov take a pentaly.
3-0n-3 hockey.
As soon as Malkin and Staal stepped on the ice, it was over.
Malkin stole a puck deep in the Pens zone, flew up ice, dropped a pass to Staal. Staal undressed Raycroft. Shortside.
Game.

( Picture of the season )

Commentorblog:

with melichar comin back...is orpik gonna be traded???

WOW.

..........................................................

Day Number:

Jordan Staal = Stunned

Jordan Staal was arrested in Cook County, Minnesota, by the Big Boss Man.


Doin' hard time.

Courtesy of TSN.ca.
( Who else? )

Carolina Hurricanes' centre Eric Staal and younger brother, Pittsburgh Penguins' Jordan Staal, were among 14 people arrested in Cook County, Minnesota Monday after the elder Staal's bachelor party got out of hand.

Both brothers were charged with disorderly conduct and obstructing the legal process, while Jordan was also charged with consumption of alcohol while under 21 years of age. Eric's agent, Rick Curran, said he expected the misdemeanor charges to be reduced or dismissed.

According to a statement released by the Cook County Sheriff's office, after the Sheriff's office received complaints about "screaming, yelling and playing loud music," the group of about 20 was warned "multiple times" before it was ordered to leave the resort by Sheriff's deputies, a Minnesota State Patrol trooper and a U.S. Border Patrol agent at 3 a.m. Monday.

"After leaving the property, the group gathered on Highway 61 and began harassing passing motorists," the Sheriff's office said, at which point 14 members of the group were arrested at approximately 4 a.m. Eric Staal was one of 10 people to spend the night in jail.

Eric Staal scored 30 goals and picked up 40 assists last season while brother Jordan, a Calder trophy finalist, had 29 goals, 13 assists and lead the league in shorthanded goals.

......................................

We swear to Mario:

If a Pittsburgh blog posts the picture of Malkin and Staal drunk on the couch with that ugly witch...

there will be a jobbing crusade the likes of which has never been seen in the Northern Hemisphere.

Consider This A Fair Warning.

We have the picture.
But who preys on someone's personal life to get hits on their stupid blog?

This story is news.
A candid picture isn't.

Game.

Here We Go Penguins Here We Go

Of course, the big news on Tuesday was the Senators re-signing Ray Emery.

3 years -- $9.5 million

At his press conference Emery gave up three goals on six shots.

Whatever.

Sens also re-signed Orange Sherbert.


Okay.
We've kept quiet about this for a while, but now is the time to discuss.

Marc-Andre Fleury is a solid NHL goaltender. But he is expendable in terms of who else we would want to keep in Pittsburgh.

Crosby -- Stays.
Malkin -- Stays.

Fleury or Staal -- Who goes?
(This is all moot if Shero can sign both.)

Do you want pay Fleury big bucks while letting Staal go?

Or sign a veteran goalie in free agency (or make a trade for said goaltender)?

As always...
Whatever.

....................................

Daryl Katz, the billionaire wanting to purchase the Edmonton Oilers, promises to spend to the salary cap and help build a new arena if the sale is approved.

.........................................

RBK Blog


The Sharks unveiled their new logo.
It looks like something my retarded 5-year-old cousin Peter made in Windows Paint.

This logo makes the Sharks look like a minor-league team.

Oh, well.
I guess we can expect some more logo changes as teams get closer to revealing their new RBK uniforms.


Suck it.

.................................

We re-iterate...

The Blackhawks will be sick.

................................
Blogblog


DoubtAboutIt does an ode to Pittsburgh Sports blogs.

They parodied us extremely well.
Funny stuff.


Good friend from commentorblog Loser Chris has a blog going on.
Check it out here.

TheGuinsblog is back..

And lastly

Cdubbs from commentblog debuts his new blog as well.

........................................
Why do we hate Candance Cameron?

Very nice

But.

She is related to Kirk Cameron.
Who has pretty much become a monster.
(Click than link, we dare you)
Now, getting religious beliefs shoved down your throat is awful.
But could you imagine Mike Seaver telling you how to act?
If there is one person begging for a Gary Roberts prank, it is the Mike Seaver.
Words cannot even describe this guy





Lesson learned.
Stephanie Tanner grew up to be way hotter.

WOW
....................

A Winter in the Sun
Game #54
February 8, 2007
Don't You Wish Your Hockey Team Was Hot Like Ours. PENS WIN.


5 - 4
SHOOTOUT

In the second period, the Flyers came close a couple times to jumping out to a 3-1 lead.
Fleury is unreal right now.
There is no need to elaborate.


Picture: In aiding Marc-Andre Fleury, Mark Eaton uses the gymnastics skills that landed him the Platinum Medal at the 1988 Olympics in Calgary.
He remains the only Olympic athlete in history to be given the Platinum.
And remains the only athlete to medal in gymnastics at the Winter Olympics.

Commentorblog

seth said...

Am I the only one not impressed with this game? I mean I'm thrilled we pulled off the win but we had a lot of defensive breakdowns and sloppy passing. Luckily it was against the flyers and not someone who would easily take advantage of our mistakes and not allow us to score 4. But hey, enough bitching, we win, 10-0-2 streak.. can't complain there, eh?


Mark "God" Eaton: 14-3-1

....................................



Day Number

The shortest Interstate freeway in the continental United States.

Anyone have any ideas on 97?
Kendrell Bell doesn't count.

Strange Condition

First things first:

We have to continually document how much of a mess the New York Islanders are.

They make matters worse by signing The Yankee Clipper, Chris Simon, to a one-year deal.



If you can manage to make $800,000 per year for douching people in the face with a hockey stick, more power to ya.

Something tells us that the Penguins organization wouldn't re-sign a player who has done something this insane.

......................................

The Coyotes signed defenseman Ryan Caldwell to a one-year deal.

..................................

Heard this story on XM Home Ice this morning.

It is about some guy who plays hockey everyday.
His streak is at 736 days.

He once had a staph infection in one of his big toes and had to stay overnight in Christiana Hospital. Fortunately, he had played that morning and was discharged in time to play at 10:40 p.m. the next day, even though his toe was so swollen he could barely get into his skate.

Sometimes, Costa plays more than once a day. He has played up to five times at different rinks in a 24-hour span. Recently, he had a game at the University of Delaware rink and another at The Pond shortly afterward. There was no time to change, so he drove from one place to the other in full gear -- including his skates.

What a life.

Speaking of XM Home Ice, it is a nice escape from the perils of ESPN radio.
And by perils we mean child pornographers
As such is the case at ESPN 1250 in good ol' Pittsburgh

John Duffy, 46, of Carnegie, is charged with possession of computer images and video files that show children engaging in sexual conduct. The offense, according to the indictment unsealed Friday, occurred May 16.
Duffey is a news anchor on ESPN 1250


What a mistake.


.......................................................


The Pens released their promotional schedule for next season (can't wait to call it "this season.")

A couple highlights on the schedule...

Opening night against the defending Stanley Cup champions:

We get a "C" in a little case with a photo of Sid and a list of his achievements.

The most interesting promotion will have to be March 2nd:

Penguins Mr. Potato Head.

................................

While visiting the Pens revamped site, you may have noticed the favicon in the URL bar.


Obviously, that's the eye of the Penguin logo.



Now, this is the eye taken from Chris Creamer's SportsLogos.net.
(If that isn't a porn name, nothing is.)


Under close examination, you see that the eyebrow and the eye meet evenly in the favicon, as opposed to the eyebrow proceeding further than the eye in their current logo.

Will the glorious Penguin logo be somewhat streamlined for the new RBK Edge x4567xLTM uniforms?

Maybe...

...And maybe this is a sign that the offseason is way too long.

Speaking of the Pens site, a Crosby "C" wallpaper.

.....................................................

While we're talking logos...


Not bad.

Not as good as this though.





Sick
================

New Logos for 07-08...





New logo on the right. Whatever.


You'd think the Blue Jackets played in Washington, D.C.


.....................................

We were just jobbing around the Internet last night and found More pens pictures:
From The Post-Gazette.
The pictures go back as far as 1999.
Just follow the drop box.
A quick sample of the gold mine.


Garry Valk scoring in Game 6.


Game 6 vs the Sabres


yesssssssss


Good stuff


Wow

And finally.
This summed up the 2003 pretty well:


.........................................................

A Winter in the Sun
Game #53
Tuesday, February 6, 2007
To Catch A Predator. PENS WIN.

4 - 1


Chris Hansen gives the Penguins a pep talk from the Dateline kitchen.

The entire base of Penguins fans is dreaming.
Is this really happening?

Did we just handily beat the number-one team in the NHL?

The Guinos came out firing in the first period.
They were outshooting the Preds 10-2 at one point.
There were skirmishes in front of the net, but it just wasn't bouncing in.

In typical Penguin home-game fashion, Nashville somehow escaped the first period with the lead.
The dreaded shot from the point.
It almost made you forget how big Nashville coach Barry Trotz's head is.

Commentorblog:

Anonymous said...

Have you guys.
Ever heard.
Of a paragraph.
It makes.
Your website.
A lot easier.
To read.

The jobbing begins.

...................................................



Day Number

You talk big time players you talk Pavel Bure.
Too bad his brother is married to Candace Cameron.

So it goes

Well Steeler camp starts today.

So that means a few things:

• For the next 8 months WPXI, KDKA, WTAE will be treating us to lead stories about how Hines Ward couldn't poop after a game.
• WPXI, KDKA, WTAE will run stories interviewing near retarded Stiller fans at local bars, only leaving us embarrassed to be fans of the same team.

You know exactly what we are talking about.
Example:

We're saying she weighs at least 230

• Pirates season is finally over

• Every time Mike Tomlin appears we will think of two things:

Former Pirate Randy Tomlin.


And how Tomlin looks exactly like Omar Epps.


We know we aren't the first place to bring that up, but it is worth mentioning.

And lastly we just want to remind everyone that we are Steeler fans as well, and any jokes are always going to be tongue & cheek.
(Unless they are about Big Ben)
Chaz Batch -4- life
It is hard to express intent over the Internet, but it is all in fun.
If you want to get mad.
That is fine too.
................................


Not much going on.
Jimmy Ballsack is all jammed up at Gary Bettman.
"We were advised by Mr. Leipold that the commissioner had found out about the existence of the negotiations and ordered him (Leipold) to immediately cease any further communications with us," Balsillie's legal representative, Richard Rodier, told ESPN.com.

What a douchebag
....................
Good debate in commentorblog yesterday about hockey video games.
2K7 is a solid game.
So is NHL07 though.
It really all depends on what you are used to.
Nothing will ever beat "Blades of Steel"
Who didn't play this game as a kid?
Just good times.


.........................
A Winter in the Sun
Game #52
February 4, 2007

4 - 3
OVERTIME

Mark Eaton was called for the hooking penalty.
He built a wrist-watch during his short stint in the box.

Considering the ebb and flow of this game and the fact that we were playing in Montreal, everyone knew Montreal was going to score on this powerplay.
Plekanec strikes again.
Yep. It was tied up before you could name all of the provinces in Canada.

Whatever

We had four minutes to catch our breath before Montreal scored another one.
Picabo Street was the culprit this time, and the boys faced a third-period deficit.

Montreal was hanging on for dear life, and then with about 6 minutes left, Francois Bouillion took a stupid penalty while trying to mess with Bing.
Ironically enough, the big guns weren't responsible for the tying power-play goal.

Instead, it was Whitney setting up Ouellet in front of the net, and it all of a sudden hit Montreal fans that they live in the coldest place on Earth.

Get this point. Get this point.
Keep that zero in the regulation-loss column during this streak.
Good.

It was definitely a toss-em game in the overtime.
The Pens were flying around, and it looked like it could've happened.

You can't really blame Sid for the final play.
He was possessed.
If he pulls that play off, everyone loves him.
Instead, he gives his potential future team some help.

Highlights:

..............................

Day number:

This sums everything up

Midnight Rider

Breaking News

The Steelers have signed Ben Roethlisberger to a contract extension.



Just kidding they signed William Gay their 5th round pick.
We just assumed a Gay signing meant Big Ben.

Our bad.

Zing
....................
How big of a mess are sports right now?

Horse steroid user Barry Bonds is about to take over Hank Aaron in home runs.
Michael Vick is DDTing defenseless dogs because they are better QB's than him.
And now the NBA has a full scale scandal on its hands.
Some jobber ref is accused of fixing games.
ESPN covered it yesterday, but you can already tell they are trying to downplay it.
The NBA sucks.
At least in the NHL we all know the games are fixed.

When Mick Magoo takes the ice, you know someone is going to get jobbed.
We take it and move on.

....................

More Gary Roberts pages popping up on Facebook.

This town doesn't even know what it is in for when the season starts.

You better get ready to start the Gary Roberts campaign for the 2007-2008 All Star game.
...........................


Sudden Death was on USA today.
There is never a bad time to watch this movie.
In terms of bad acting and ill-conceived plot lines, this movie could go toe-to-toe with even the likes of Commando.
And that's what makes it so easy to watch.
One of the many reasons it will be sad to see the Mellon Arena go, is the fact we won't be able to make the standard. " I hope a helicopter doesn't crash onto the ice" joke.
Good times
.................

One Penguins note.
They signed Alain Nasreddine to a one year deal.
Ray Shero apparently never sleeps.
...........................
A Winter in The Sun
Game #51
February 3, 2007
Among the Wild Flowers..PENS WIN

2 - 0
Finally, Ronald Petrovicky went coast to coast?
Yeah, that's right.
Petro tore a wrist shot past Olie the goalie to put the Pens up 1-0.
Kind of a weak goal after all the saves he had made, but what else would you expect from Kolzig?

After that, it was all Fleury all the time.
AO didn't have a shot until the third period, and Fleury would have none of it.

Picture: AO -- stunned after seeing his girlfriend making out with WPXI's Rick Walsh in the stands.

Commentorblog said:

Anonymous said...

*standing and applauding Mark Eaton"

2/03/2007 5:47 PM

..................

Day number:

(Thanks to Mike Costa for sending this)

End of July. It's Gonna Be October Soon.

First things first.
This Day In History.

July 20, 1969.
Gary Roberts sets foot on the moon.
His mere presence on the moon causes a shift in the tides of the Atlantic Ocean.

You talk segues...

Gary Roberts fans can now convene in a Facebook Group. Here.

................................................

Be Like Tike brings you "A Day in the Life of Sidney Crosby."

...........................

Big news out of Alexei Yashin's camp.

This little homo gets his wish.

Alexei Yashin could not find a deal he liked in the NHL.
So he has headed back to Russia to play for Locomotiv.
Good move.
Not.

Another player moving overseas is our old friend Petr Nedved.


Always remembered for a goal he scored at 2:23 in the morning.

...................................

With the biggest crowd to grace the Arena since a Good Charlotte concert in '04,
the Predators held a rally to keep the team in Nashville.


What a joke of a mascot.
No one even knows what exactly a Predator is.
But odds are they don't carry drums around.

.........................


The Islanders are falling apart.

In the publicity stunt of the millennium, Al Arbour will come back and sign a one-day contract on November 2, 2007, to coach one game -- his 1,500th as head coach of the Islanders.

One of the games on his docket that doesn't count in that career total was played on May 14, 1993, in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania.

Who are the Islanders playing for Arbour's one game?
The Penguins.


Me not happy.

Ten Nolan jokes were funny once upon a time.
They aren't funny anymore. But that isn't stopping us.

...................

-- FINALLY --

Just when we think we've touched every corner of the internet in regards to Penguin pictures and fanpages, a random site comes out of nowhere and bangs our girlfriends.

We're proud to forward everyone to:

Todd's Pittsburgh Penguins Home Page

What a site.
If you're like us, you download any old-school Pens photos you find on the internet.
You'd rather trust the .jpeg on your hard drive instead of on some 1982 Geocities page that could disappear tomorrow.
Some solid pics on the site.

The best part?
The long-awaited MIKE LANGE .WAV FILES.

..........................................

A Winter in the Sun
Game #50
February 1, 2007
WHAT A GAME.
The Habs and the Hab-Nots. PENS WIN.


5 - 4


You could tell this game was going to be chippy, as the Habs came out trying to be bad dudes.

Right off the opening face-off, you had to feel that this game was gonna be interesting.
Crosby takes a knob to the face, and his eyes glaze over.

Commentorblog:

Adrienne said...

Jobber is an awesome word. I just don't want to see it used-out like "Shot and a DRIVE!" from the Playoffs last season. Dear lord that got tired right quick.

I was on the edge of my seat for the shootout. Oh my god. It was the "No way in fuck did I stay up until 3.30am to hear us lose this game in the SO." Then winning it had me cheering enough to make my neighbor pound on the wall. Whoops.

We're amazing right now, and I'm literally crying that I can't actually see any of these games.

And what the hell exactly happened with the whole Instigator/minor/major/misconduct incident?

Christenson is amazing in the SO, Crosby is 0 for 7, and I'd let Mark Eaton do me into next week. Thank god he's back.

What a commentor.

..............................................



Day Number


It was meant to be.

Blah Blah Blah

Jobbers is on hiatus for the week, we meant to say that last night.

No need to jump the shark with two months in the summer left.

But if you do care. Here is a sneak preview.

Chapter 5: Bowling for Poop

That's right, dick. It's me -- Howard Baldwin

Adam: But how?

Baldwin: You don't actually think the DeLorean is the only vehicle capable of time travel, do you?

Derek: This is ridiculous.

Baldwin: Walk with me, gentlemen.

Howard Baldwin leads the boys to a parking garage on Center Avenue.

He tries to make out with the boys, but they refuse.

Baldwin: It was worth a shot.

Adam: Let's get out of here.

Baldwin: Wait a second, boys.

Baldwin walks over to the corner of the garage and pulls the tarp off of a vehicle.

Baldwin: I present to you my 1991 Buick Century.

Derek: Yeah, okay. This is a joke.

Baldwin: Your life is a joke.

..............................................
Days are getting actually worse and worse now.
It feels like there hasn't been a hockey game on in 10 years.

The Pens did sign Ty Conklin.


Yea that Ty Conklin.
What a terrible goal to give up.

Here is another funny Ty Conklin youtube (thanks Brendan)


.............................

Here are prospective jerseys for the Penguins next season:





All Apologies

.......................
A Winter In Sun
Game #49
The Pens Are So Good." Pens Win.
Pens- 3
Panthers -0
Seven minutes into the second, Florida's David Wilkes Booth started a Panther Train to the penalty box.


Two minutes for assassination

A minute after that, Ville Peltonen was sent to the box.
After amounting zip on that 5-on-3, Rostislav Olesz tries to take Crosby's head off and gives the Pens another 5-on-3.

Lord Therrien calls a timeout to give the big boys a breather.
This Crosby - Malkin - Staal/Recchi - Gonchar - Whitney powerplay is going to become a force, if it isn't already.

Crosby's move on the powerplay: Sex isn't an adjective, but that's as close as we're gonna get to describing that move.

After not capitalizing on the two-man, the Pens finally got the goal they wanted.
On a delicious pass from Michel Ouellet, Rich Whitney improved his chances of winning the governor race in Illinois with his usual goal.

Commentorblog said:

seth said...

Continuing with my trend...


10-3 with eaton in the lineup

1/31/2007 12:56 AM

...........................

Day Number:

Product of the system.

And The Days Go By

This summer has officially reached the boring point.

But hey, we might be begging for a break come March when we are in a battle for the playoffs.

...................

One thing that summer isn't lacking of is movies.
Next up is the Simpsons movie.
And from the movie, comes the website.

Which, as movie websites go, is pretty sick.
You can create your own Simpsons characters.
Ever wonder what a Gary Roberts Simpsons character would look like?

Do it

......................




TSN.ca is on the ball again.

Billionaire Daryl Katz is purchasing the Edmonton Oiler franchise.

.....Eric Lindros, who has somehow been regarded a good hockey player his whole career even though said career has been a complete joke, is contemplating retirement.


In between concussions, Lindros finds time to pose with the Wales Conference Trophy.
The "C" on his jerseys stands for "homo."

................................

Tom Fitzgerald urinates on everyone.

" Tom Fitzgerald remembers that his shift was in its final seconds.

That he had pulled in a pass from defenseman Gord Murphy and was skating toward the Penguins' blue line while considering his options.

That finally, he decided to throw the puck on goal, then curl back to the Florida bench for a breather.

So Fitzgerald crossed the blue line -- "Just barely," he said -- and, with Penguins defenseman Neil Wilkinson directly in front of him, launched a shot at goalie Tom Barrasso."

Suck it.

........................................

Mr. Sydor was in town to meet the media.

"If you have the right group, you don't have that problem," Sydor said. "And from what I hear, you don't have that problem here. The old guys like being around the young guys -- they make us feel young -- and the young guys want to hear stories and stuff like that from the old guys."

Solid human

...................

A Winter in the Sun
Game #48
January 28, 2007
Werewolves of Glendale. Pens WIN.
Penguins- 7
Coach Wayne -2

To send the Coyotes reeling into the intermission, Jarkko Ruutu scores a goal on a nice feed from Petrovicky. During that second period, FSN felt the need to drill in our heads how great big Wayne was. Who cares.

Definitely.

Simply put, the third period was the best period of hockey in a long, long time. Not only entertaining, but it just felt good to watch.
After the Coyotes took another stupid penalty, Malkin lights one off the post. (Can the NHL please start keeping track of posts hit? Malkin has had to have hit at least eight this season. Pensblog will keep track of the stats for 10 bucks an hour.)
And while we were waiting to get a whistle so that the refs could review the goal, Sidney Crosby scored a goal we'll be seeing in NHL commercials for the rest of the year.
After that Crosby goal, Phoenix gave up. It was embarrassing.
15 seconds later, Petrovicky scores to make it 6-2. The rout was on.


Commentorblog said:

Shanna said...

Pronovost,

Jeromes weiner probably isnt that small, it's just that with all the fat, he probably cant find it all.

Anyway, great game by our Pennies. Sids goal was sick! I think he even impressed himself with that one. Good to see the whole team contributing. Makes it even more fun to watch. I love these guys.

LOL, poor Wayne Gretzky looked like he'd rather throw himself in front of bus than be there last night. Good for him. That's what he gets for passing over Sid for the Olympic team.

And yes, I agree, fuck Smizik. Cant wait til Tuesday when we crush the Panthers next.

1/28/2007 1:49 PM

...........................

Day number

Big Ben got picked off on this play, and he wasn't even on the field.

Go Pens

The countdown to training camp begins soon.

Melt Your Balls Off

Lance Anderson, cousin of Colby Anderson says MeltYourFace-Off is a joke.

That site said Crosby's contract is actually a veiled threat to the Pens organization.
My cat actually died when he heard me read that aloud.

That site could do some more fact-checking instead of using blanket comments,
but they're too busy riding DEADSPIN's coattails.

..................................

We're late on this, but...


Sheldon Souray is out of Montreal.
He stays north of the border, as he signs with the Oilers for 5 years.

The last time the Oilers had a defenseman with a hard slapshot, that defenseman's wife was a bitch and wanted to move to Anaheim, California.

But the Oilers don't have to worry about Souray's wife wanting to move to California.


Oops.
Turns out his wife is Angelica Bridges.
She was on Baywatch, that show on the beach.

......................................



Tom Fitzgerald of 1996 Game 7 fame has been hired by the Pens as their new director of player development.

If you know your Pens history and One From The Heart, you know that Scotty Bowman was once the director of player development and recruitment.

Researching Tom Fitzgerald took us down some interesting paths.
In one of those, one thing leads to another we ended up reading about the 1995-96 season.
First of all.
Does anyone really remember this season?
The Penguins were a game away from th Stanley Cup.
Have we all blocked it out of our memory?
Check this out:

How disgusting is that?

The top three scorers.

Combined for 429 points.
It took the top six penguins scorers to surpass that this year.
The entire team scored 362 goals.
Buffalo led the NHL this year with 298.

Also:
Petr Nedved was on PCP, 99 Points.

Sick

....And how could we not mention Thomas Sandstrom.

Solid 70 point season.


As for the rest of the NHL in 95-96.

• Detroit lost 13 games---131 points...sick
  
• Hartford and Winnipeg were still around.
• At least 10 players scored 100 points
• John Leclair had 51 goals
• If the Penguins would of made the Stanley Cup finals, the leagues top five scores would of faced off ( assuming Ron Francis would of played- he broke his foot)

...........................................

The Senators' massive gay orgy in the locker room will have a new face.

They've traded Peter Schaefer to Boston for Shean Donovan.


Picture: Two Sens fan celebrate the big trade.

..........................................

Why did they get rid of Schaefer?
They need cap room to sign Ray Emery.

Emery is going to want $4.25 million a year, like Henrik Lundqvist got with the Rangers.
If Ray Emery is worth 4.25 million dollars, we are all in trouble.

......................................................

Scott Niedermayer is 33 years old.
He has won 4 Stanley Cups.

He is still contemplating retirement.

Anaheim GM Brian Burke, thoughts?



Damn it, Niedermayer.
You just helped us win a Cup.
Are you really worth about $13 million over the next two years?
No way. Retire. Peace.

..........................................................

A Winter in the Sun
Game #47
Friday, January 26, 2007

PENS - 4
STARS - 3

Do It For Daddy. PENS Win.

Mark Eaton = Money in the Bank

Overtime arrived, and it was insane. Was there only one whistle during the entire five minutes?

Roughly 18 seconds into the overtime, a Dallas shot looked like it was on its way in, and even Steigerwald cried out, "Scores."
The fans stood up thinking it was goal, but it barely trickled wide.
Gotta give it to the Dallas fans, though. They stood up for the entire overtime. Great atmosphere.

The Pens got their opportunities, too; the best coming when Christensen had at least two good looks but couldn't put it in.

With about 10 seconds left in OT, Bing grabs the puck at center ice...and you could hear all the Stars fans collectively say, "Oh, shi...."

He flies into the zone and powers past some terd. He gets a "shot" off that could've easily went in, but it took a fortuitous Dallas bounce, and the Stars cleared it.

You know what that means....



Commentorblog:

seth said...

8-3 with eaton in the lineup

....................................................

Day Number

+


-


We tried to use Roberts or Francis. But computers don't understand minus in front of them.
......
And remember

Thanks to Don K Show

Whatever

Big News came out Monday.

Ray Shero wants Michel Therrien around for at least one more year.

That means one more year of broken English and outright refusal to use plurals of anything.
We can't wait.


......Looks like the Pens are going back to West Point


..... Speaking of King Shero.. he is looking to hire some new positions.
What a GM.

..................
Still nothing else really even going on.
We tried reading some other blogs to extend our blog network.
We read this one and just got mad:
Meltyourfaceoff.com

"Can the Pens sign that top tier free agent to complete the puzzle? Will they use the cap room wisely? Or will they continue to be the Pittsburgh Fucking Penguins and find new and inventive ways to screw things up?"

We are pretty sure that was just intended to rile pens fans up.
The guy didn't even spell Colby Armstrong's name right.
Whatever.

We didn't read that statement first time around because we were too busy looking at the banners hanging in the Mellon arena.

Dick.


....We do recommend James Mirtle as a good read.
..........................

NCAA Football comes out today.
Which means you can expect a even lamer effort than you are getting right now.


If you want personalized rosters. Meaning getting the real players names into the game.
Go Here for XBOX 360
Go here for PS3 Rosters.

PS3 rosters are a little easier to load than XBOX-360.
But to have all the names in the game is always nice.
The people that do them put a-lot of work into them.

.........................................
A Winter in the Sun
Game #46
Janurary 20, 2007
Blowing leaves... PENS WIN.

8 - 2
NHL.COM RECAP

Last year.
Right before the Olympic break, the season was over.
Its only just beginning now.

If you could of come up with a better ending to the first half of the season, you're money because the game tonight was as close to completely fulfilling as I remember in a long time.

Things started out dreary enough though, as the Leafs Jeff O'Neill scored and the large Maple Leaf traveling fan base was into it.

O'Neill, a guest performer at Ryan Malone's magic show, promptly disappeared the rest of the night.

Leaf Nation's celebration was short lived, as Geno Malkin took over. Malkin hit Jordan Staal with a pass in front of the net, and as he always seems to do, Staal finished. Staal is having himself an incredible year.

Thats a goal....sorry Leafs

This was only the start. The Pens would score 7 straight goals.
Anyone watching the game could tell Malkin was on another level tonight. Ever since he got off Crosby's line, he just seems better off. I almost lit myself on fire last week when I was reading someone on a message board actually complaining about Malkin.

Commentorblog said:

the general, you salute me said...

there was like 4 fights in the stands tonight... i was in d7... the entire "would-be" student rush section was full of leaf's fans, and im happy to say that when they acted up, pens fans shut them up. a good bit of people were tossed out, and the last fight was during the 8th pens goal.....

this might sound sic.. but this actually made me happy... it shows that pens fans dont want out-of-towners coming in and taking over the arena... that seriously means alot... 'best fans in hockey' isnt a gift, its earned... congrats to the pens for the 'statement' game tonite and to the fans for stopping the invasion...

1/21/2007 1:18 AM

.............................

Day Number:

Ernie Mills pays Bills

........
Remember everyone:

In The Summer Time

We have come to find out that running a hockey blog in the off-season, is like making out with your grandma.

" You wish it was that good"

Thanks grandma.


Anyways, nothing really going on as usual.
For as busy as the last month was, everything is at a crawl now.
We are way late on few things.
None bigger than this:

.....The Pen did re-sign Colby Armstrong.

You'd jump to if roid maniac Sean Hill was around you

Armstrong is as solid as it gets.
One reason is his crushing hits, as documented by (Empty Netters)
Another reason, he is Mr. Clutch.
He scored the game winner in the World Championship gold medal game.
And of course he scored three OT winners this year for the pens.

Triviablog

Colby Armstrong scored three OT goals for the Pittsburgh Penguins in 06'--07'.
This tied the record for OT goals in a season.
Name the four other Penguins to do it.

Winner gets:
Nothing


According to the Buzz on your mom, Ray Shero hates Colby Armstrong and is trying to trade him.

It was a big night for The Buzz.
He went over the 5,000 source mark for the month of July.
By January 08 he will have sources in every neighbor in Ohio Valley.

Hey everyone, The Buzz on the Burgh touches me where I pee.
....................


Nothing major going on.

The Flyer's introduced Daniel Briere to the Media this week.
Briere has apparently turned into a undersized 12-year old girl.

.........................
Moving on...
We noticed that in Yahoo's search engine.
The top search was " AIDS"

Who would of thought so many Ottawa Senator fans would be on the Internet today.

...........................
A Winter in the Sun
Game #45
Janurary 18,2007
Mein Kampf. Pens LOSE.
Bruins 5-------Pens 4

These are all playoff games right now.
Yeah, it feels good just to be in the race, but eventually that feeling is gonna subside when we don't start pulling these games out.

The refs forgot their whistles in the locker room for the first period.
Interference penalties are running rampant in the past 10 games or so.
I say "that's interference" at least 26 times every game.

A chippy first period had the Pens come out of there with a 2-0 lead.
Recchi, Crosby, and Malone tic-tac-toed a play that ended with Malone burying the puck into an empty net.
The Pens' second goal came with less than two minutes remaining when Evgeni Malkin flew into the zone and popped a wrister past goalie Toivonen.

Next time Toivonen goes up against Malkin, instead of Malkin having to go to the locker room and wipe himself every time he craps in Toivonen's mouth, the NHL should just install a toilet-paper dispenser on the post.

Commentorblog said:

Hooks Orpik said...

for a period of time robert scuderi could actually say he was the best defenseman on the entire ice.

this happened during a 4 on 3 in which the bruins were using 4 forwards, and the penguins (as always when down to 3 men) had 2 forwards and a lone D out there. so, the rarest of occasions happened: only 1 defenseman on the whole ice, and it was scuderi.

the b's, of course, scored a goal in that sequence.

1/19/2007 9:39 AM

......................

Day Number:

Sleep

Too tired to try and force any jokes tonight.

Go pens.

................................
A Winter in the Sun
Game #44

Wicked Wingers. PENS WIN.

Penguins 5---Isles 2

The second period was a typical home Penguin game second period.

In accordance with the laws of karma, we at the Pensblog made fun of Jim Paek, an Asian-American, in yesterday's post.
So...what happens tonight? Richard Park, one of the few Asian Americans in the NHL (and a former Penguin), scores a 5-on-3 shorthanded goal.

" It looks like Park gave you the Poo-poo platter, HA HA HA. Stupid Americans."

But the Pens were strong, and kept working.
Now if I told you, a player from the Penguins scored from 6 inches in front of the net on a rebound, and gave you this picture, would you know who I was talking about?

If you don't know, turn your computer off.

And then with time winding down, Jason Blake cheap shots Crosby. Total rage. It took me a half an hour to calm down about it. If I would of seen my neighbor walking her dogs, with a Jason Blake shirt on, I would of slammed her head of a telephone pole.


Commentorblog said:

Alex said...

from what i could tell slap me silly sidney said to blake "your fucking dead" several times initially i thought he said gay but after several replays it was dead its nice to see some mean streak in the kid tho and i love the potty mouth

1/17/2007 2:06 AM

.......................

Day number:

And by request:

Weegie

Who's What?

We didn't want to get all worked up about this ESPN " Who's Now?" thing.

We know Sidney Crosby is money.
And we don't need ESPN to tell us that.
But.
The way it was handled was embarassing.

First it was fixed.
The vote was decided by 70% of the public votes.
Crosby received 36% of the vote.
Jeter about 33%

So the other 30% came from the esteemed panel of douchebags.

First up:
Kirk Herbstreit

Doesn't he seem like a guy who wakes up, goes outside and throws a football.

Quote:
"Crosby would have to win 3 cups, and 3 MVPS in that time to even come talk to me"
"He is maybe the future who's now in Canada."


Normally we'd make a joke about Herbstreit eating is own feces.
But we'll just post his stats from the NFL:
Oops ,that right he did reach the NFL

We used to watch College Gameday, we still will, but with mute button on hand when Herbie talks.

Next up is all time stiff Keyshawn Johnson:


"Our kids don't want to grow up and be hockey players," he said.

No Keyshawn, our kids don't want to be over-hyped and whiners like you.
Isn't this the guy that quit his team because someone told him no.


Mike Wilbon was next he was OK.

The part that really pissed us off was one of the anchors said Jeter won in a landslide.
Which if by landslide he means two has-been athletes and a sports writer, yea landslide.

Derek Jeter is a joke.

J-Schiff

......................................
See ya tomorrow night, we just had to get that off our chest.

Mike Costa sent us this:

Done in its right dosages Gary Roberts wikipedia games are funny.


......................
A Winter in the Sun
Game#43
January 12, 2007

Staalkin. Pens WIN.

Malkin shut them up, though, after the Pens kept the puck in the Flyers zone for what seemed like a half an hour. Aided by a missed hand-pass call (Edzo wouldn't let it go, but the Pens had no problem letting him go), Malkin cleaned up a Michel Ouellet rebound and got it past Niittymaki.

The rest of the first period was pretty much Pierre Mcguire talking about how Edzo got fired.

If you're Edzo, why not make up an excuse to get out of doing the game or, better yet, just say you don't want to do it?
It would be like being the photographer at your ex-fiance's wedding. Not good times.

During intermission, Ray Ferraro sent me into rage by openly questioning why Jarko Ruutu has a job in the NHL.
Sorry, Ray.
Not everyone can make a living hanging all over people like you did. What an ass.




Commentorblog said:

Justin said...

simon gag-me

1/14/2007 1:42 PM

Flyers suck
......................

Day Number

Fact: Eric Green once tried to snort a harsh-mark

What It Feels like to be a Flyers fan

Just in case we fall asleep before posting tonight

wow

JOBBERS -- CHAPTER FOUR: GRANT STREET SURPRISE

Previously on JOBBERS...

Adam and Derek direct themselves toward Oakland on the Boulevard.
After receiving a message from Franco Harris, they must go back to find out it's meaning.
They set the DeLorean to June 1985 as they slam on the gas.

.........................

Boulevard of the Allies
June 2, 1985....

The boys are stuck in gridlock.

Adam: Dude, traffic sucks even in 1985. What is going down there?
Just before he got set on fire, Franco told us to find our way to Grant Street

Derek: No clue.
Yeah, man. This is mud. What are we doing?

Adam: Franco wanted us to get to Grant Street on this exact day.
Break out the laptop and let's see what we can find.

Derek: That wasn't even in last week's script.

Adam: I know.

Derek: Wait a minute.
It's 1985. Al Gore didn't invent the Internet yet.

Adam: Wrong.
Al Gore is immortal. He created the Internet in all times, people just don't know it.

Derek: Nice.
Okay, let's see what's going on.

They log-on to Neil's Wikipedia page....

Us:....WTF

===========

[ Information retrieved from WIKIPEDIA on Luke Ravenstahl's alternate 2007 laptop. ]

With the 70th pick in the 1990 NFL Draft,
the Pittsburgh Steelers selected Neil O'Donnell, quarterback, University of Maryland.

The Steelers, mired in mediocrity throughout the '80s, hitched their star to Neil's wagon.
He responded.

-- 1991 --

Neil O'Donnell and the Bubby Brister shared quarterbacking duties.
Neil completes 156 of 286 passes for 1,963.
11 TD. 7 INT.

No Playoffs.

-- 1992 --

Neil O'Donnell started taking over the start role.
He completes 185 of 313 passes for 2,283 yards.
13 TD. 9 INT.

Steelers made the playoffs, but lost 24-3 to Buffalo in the Divisional Round.


Picture: O'Donnell runs for his life.

-- 1993 --

Neil goes 270 for 486 -- 3,208.
14 TD. 7 INT.

The Steelers met with the Joe Montana-led Kansas City Chiefs in the first round.
To people born in the mid-80s, this game is a blur.
Running back Leroy Thompson was on acid.


Picture: O'Donnell about to throw for a touchdown.

People may recall a Mark Royals punt being blocked by Chief Keith Cash in the late stages of the contest when the Steelers had the game almost iced away.


Speaking of ice, it was in Joe Montana's veins as he led the Chiefs to a game-winning field goal in OT.



O'Donnell plays in the Pro Bowl.

-- 1994 --

Heartbreak.
The Steelers tear through the regular season with a 12-4 record.
Neil -- 212 of 370 for 2,443.
13 TD. 9 INT.

After dismantling the Browns in the Divisional Round, the Steelers were heavily favored against the Chargers in the AFC Championship Game.

The Steelers were down 17-13 and mounting one final drive.
O'Donnell and his army of receivers marched down the field, with tight end Eric Green carrying the workload.
Life comes down to 4th down and goal from the 3.

Neil tries to hit Barry Foster underneath, just inside the end zone. The ball is deflected away.
A wide-open Yancey Thigpen streaking across the back of the end zone goes unnoticed by Neil.


Neil and his impeccable career INTs-per-pass-attempts ratio fall 3 yards short.

-- 1995 --

3 More Yards.

Neil O'Donnell misses a few games at the beginning of the season.
The Steelers attain a 11-5 record by winning 8 consecutive games down the stretch.
A Yancey Thigpen drop in the final game could've made it 9 straight.

Neil: 246 of 416 -- 2,970.
17 TD. 7 INT.

The Steelers poop on Buffalo in the Divisional Round.
The AFC Championship Game against the Colts was unreal.
Willie Williams made a season-saving tackle.
Ernie Mills stole the show with a huge 37-yard reception at the one-yard line late in the game.


O'Donnell steals the show at Media Day at Super Bowl XXX.

In Super Bowl XXX, the Dallas Cowboys could not stop Neil O'Donnell and the Steelers.
The Steelers mounted a drive late in the game that sealed a 24-20 victory.


Picture: O'Donnell leading the furious fourth-quarter drive.

In the offseason, the Rooneys offered O'Donnell a 6-year, $220 million contract.
O'Donnell gladly accepted.

Steelers trade for Jerome Bettis in the off-season.

-- 1996 --

No other NFL teams should've shown up to play.
The Steelers go 16-0 in the regular season.

Neil O'Donnell completes 450 of 463 for 7,111 yards. 81 TDs, -3 INTs.
(Bettis drops 13 passes.)

EA Sports Madden '96 has to be recalled because SNES systems couldn't handle O'Donnell's talent.

The Steelers blow through the postseason and beat the Green Bay Packers 77 - 1 in the Super Bowl.

...............................

The next three years brought more of the same for the Steelers.
They went on to win 3 more Super Bowls with O'Donnell at the helm.

Steeler fans fell in love with O'Donnell.
He could've had any woman or man he wanted.

Neil O'Donnell's stats during these three years cannot be displayed because the English language cannot comprehend them.


On Thanksgiving Day in 1998, while driving the team for a score against the Detroit Lions, O'Donnell actually catches fire.



Following his fourth Super Bowl title that season (a game in which O'Donnell broke two laws of physics), the NFL forces O'Donnell to retire.

At the press conference announcing his retirement, the Rooneys hand the franchise over to O'Donnell.

..........................................................

2004

With the 11th pick in the 2004 NFL Draft, the Pittsburgh Steelers select Ben Roethlisberger, quarterback, University Of Miami, Ohio.

Ben leads the Steelers to a 15-1 record.
After surviving a dismal performance in the playoffs against the Jets, the Patriots come to town for the AFC Championship Game.
Ben throws a pick to Rodney Harrison.

O'Donnell, in complete dismay over Ben's poor decision-making, sells the team to relatively unknown entrepreneur Jim Balsillie.
Balsillie moves the team to Hamilton, Ontario.

.........................

In the aftermath following the Steelers' departure, a Steelers hall of fame is erected in Pittsburgh.

O'Donnell shares the Quarterback Walk of Fame with Terry Bradshaw.
This angers Neil.
He realizes he must go back in time and eliminate Bradshaw.

..................................

Traffic starts to break.....
The DeLorean reaches Grant Street.....

Adam: Holy crap

Derek: Oh, Boy......


Chapter Five:
July 19.
Midnight.

Keep on Keeping on

Short, quick post tonight.

Whatever we miss be sure to check out commentorblog.
We apologize for the weak post.

Sleep> everything else

The Pens' schedule is out.
We have two more months to analyze this schedule.
So no need to over saturate this subject.

Opening night is October 5 in Carolina.
What a great bunch of douchebags to open up against.
If you don't get at least three Scott Walker gay photoshops we can use, we have accomplished nothing.

The main focal point on the schedule is the January 1 game in Buffalo.
Rumors have surfaced about a possible outdoor game called the "Ice Bowl" will be played at Ralph Wilson Stadium.

Two thoughts:

Bart Starr is a joke

And at least Buffalo could actually win something in January.

Keep your head up, dick.

If the outdoor game does go down, see ya there.
...............................


If you are reading this, you should be voting for Bing.
Whatever you do, don't watch the debate on this issue, you'll get very upset.
Especially when that dude who is on College Gameday says something to the effect of Hockey not mattering.

And for all the great resources on ESPN.
They could only come up with this picture:

Espn sucks


No clue why everyone is in love with Derek Jeter.
Everyone talks about his hustle, blah blah.
That time he dove into the stands.
Did he really dive, or did someone pull him in?
Pictures never lie.

Remember, vote for Sid, you have till 6 pm



.....
...Whats that you say Mr. Roberts, sir?

We wanted to share a song, summer intern, and commentorblog veteran Tiff made with some help.
We gave it some pictures and put it up on youtube for now.

Enjoy
(Thanks again Tiff)





............
A Winter in the Sun
Game #42
January 10, 2007

Good Riddance, Sunshine State. PENS LOSE.

That is until Florida started entering the Penguins' zone.
A shot rings off the pipe, and the goal horn sounds, but no goal.
About 8 seconds later, Olli Jokinen scores his first of 11 goals on the night to make it 1-0.

No big whoop. 1-0 is usually a comforting deficit for this resilient Pens.

The rest of the first period was a bunch of nothingness with the Pens getting stonewalled by Jimmy the Goalie, another no-name getting a victory over the Penguins.


Alex Auld: I think my sister took him to prom.

Commentorblog said:

Hooks Orpik said...

give me welch, give me dupont, give me someone.

ugh.

AHL all-star jon filewich would be a better option than half the forwards on the roster now. i feel like malone and ouellet have accomplished as much in the past 5 games as ekman.

mark recchi should be fined for every hooking/interference/tripping bad penalty he takes. isn't the veteran leader supposed to be above those petty, stupid dumb plays?

1/11/2007 11:46 AM

...................

Day number

Mitch Lyons was awful.

Part of the Deal

The New Deal has been reached.

You should know all of this by now.

Ray Shero re-signed Crosby.
5 years -- $43.5 million.

( Ray Shero is reaching Gary Roberts status. You can feel it coming. )

People are complaining about this signing?
That is really hard to justify.

He could have easily requested the maximum ($10 million per year).
And he would have gotten it.

But, no, he accepts $8.7 million per year.

Welcome to the downside of housing the NHL's premier talent.

Shero and Crosby have helped the rest of the NHL teams tremendously here.
Name one player who can now go to a GM and demand this kind of money.

If only this deal was made before July 1...

Daniel Briere may have been laughed at and pooped on when he turned down 5 yrs, $25 million from the Bills.

.......................................

Another stupid talking point on the Sid deal are people worrying about when Sidney gets a crack at unrestricted free agency in summer 2013.

If you think it places a cloud over the next 6 years we get to watch Crosby play, you don't know what's going on.

Dr. Phil, thoughts?

"That's like not enjoying a healthy and meaningful relationship by consuming your mind with thoughts on how the relationship will fall apart.
Before you can love someone else, you must learn to love yourself
To love yourself you should start by drinking your own urine."

Bottom line in all this.
Who knows if you'll still be alive in 2013 , so enjoy it why you can.

It is all going to be really funny when Big Choke demands his contract be the highest paid QB in the league. So everyone in Pittsburgh can realize how greedy football players are.

Get rid of the ball
.......................


Not a whole lot to write home about in the NHL.

...The Pens might be playing in the Jan 1 game outside in Buffalo
If that is the case we are organizing a road trip.


.....Looks like the Pens have signed Alex Goligoski
That if course is per a Minnesota newspaper, and they probadly make things up because they are bored.

.....Over at pittsburghpenguins.com, they are having a vote on classic pens game.
They have 19 games to choose from, and you have to choose your top ten.
Based on the vote they will release a 10 disc set.
Combined this with the first season of Heroes on DVD and your house might explode.
Our vote was this:

10. February 10, 2007 – Penguins vs. Maple Leafs: Jordan Staal caps off his first NHL hat trick with the OT winner on Hockey Night in Canada

What a game.

9. April 9, 1993 – Penguins vs. Rangers: Penguins set NHL record with 16th consecutive win – Lemieux erupts for five goals

In MSG, Mario at his best.

8. March 26, 1996 – Penguins vs. Blues: Just days after the premature birth of his son, Austin, Mario breaks out with 5 goals in an 8 – 4 win over Gretzky and the Blues

Anytime Gretzky gets shown up we are voting for it.

7. February 2, 1989 – Penguins vs. Flyers: Penguins end a 15-year, 42 game drought in Philadelphia with a 5 – 3 win.

This seems like it would be fun to watch.

6. December 27, 2000 – Penguins vs. Maple Leafs: Mario Lemieux emerges from retirement in dramatic fashion with a goal and two assists

What a night. Toronto never had a chance.

The top five are hard.

5. April 13, 1991 – Penguins vs. Devils: Frank Pietrangelo makes what is simply known as ‘The Save’ in a 4 – 3 win in Game Six of the Patrick Division semi-finals

Speechless

4. April 24, 1996 – Penguins vs. Capitals: The Penguins and Capitals take four overtimes to decide Game Four of the ’96 conference quarterfinals as the Pens come out on top 3 – 2

One of the best hockey games you'll ever see.
This could be number one and we would be OK with it

3.May 10, 2001 – Penguins vs. Sabres: Darius Kasparaitis joins the rush and scores the OT winner in Game Seven of the Eastern Conference semi-finals

Some people, including the staff consider this one of the top 5 moments of their lives.

2. June 1, 1992 – Penguins vs. Blackhawks: Penguins clinch back-to-back Cups sweeping the series in four

What a great time to be alive.

1.May 25, 1991 – Penguins vs. North Stars: Penguins claim their first Stanley Cup

Maybe as close to perfect as you can get in a hockey game.

......Thanks to FritoWill for passing this along

The Crosby Who's Now vote is tomorrow after that show called "sportscenter"

do it

...And finally thanks to commentorblog for pointing this out.
Jason Spezza was named the coverboy for NHL2k8
Spezza couldn't be reached for comment because he is still missing since the Eastern conference finals.





............................................


Peace, Love, Deodorant.

We don't think any other Penguins sites run by fellow Pens fans are jokes or mud.

We job other sites occasionally because there is nothing else to do, and because we can.

Nothing would thrill us more than a jobbing war with another blog somewhere.
But since the authors of other blogs are actually mature and don't try to use the word 'feces' in every post, we realize it's not gonna happen.

Our only hope is for Steelers fans not to comprehend what we're trying to do when we job the Steelers.

.............................................................

This Day in History
July 11

1804

Aaron Burr dominates Alexander Hamilton in a duel.

...............................

A Winter in the Sun
Game #41
January 9, 2007


Total Frustration. PENS LOSE.

And then, with well over half of the third period remaining, Erik Christensen takes a high stick to the chops...resulting in a double-minor penalty.
The Penguins feared power play unit takes the ice and th--- Cleared.
The Penguins feared power play un--- Cleared.
The Penguins feare--- Cleared.
T --- Cleared.

Next thing you know, the 4-minute penalty expires.

With less than three minutes left, everyone's favorite Penguin gets a goal on a lucky bounce from a Brooks Orpik shot.


" 'Real men make their own luck.' Billy Zane -- Titanic. "

Commentorblog:

Andrew said...

Honestly...the last f'n person I want to see on the ice with 30 seconds left and the goalie pulled is Michel Ouelette. He must seriously know how to tongue Therrien's balls just right (a little light, but very sloppy). When will he get his turn to sit on his goofy ass and watch some games from the pressbox.

Oh...can we please fire Petro. I mean, I know before the season started I wished and wished for a winger that would take stupid penalties and not be able to finish. Simply because that's how all of my sexual encounters end up anymore.

.................................



Day Number

You talk Interstate 70, you talk Eighty Four/Glyde.
What an exit.

Signed, Seal and Delivered...Almost

The Pennsylvania budget has passed.
The most important thing is this nearly guarantees the new-arena deal will be OK.
We say nearly because we aren't stupid.
You never know when an old nemesis could try to job things up:


Word.

Speaking of the new budget, at least all the employees who were furloughed (what a word) will be back to work.
So, yes. Expect all Drivers' License Test Centers to be open tomorrow.

Suck it

..............................................
Around the NHL


In the murky waters that is NHL free agency, there is a bright spot.

Dominik Hasek takes one for the team, as his agent says he's worth $6 million a year.
They negotiate, and Hasek is staying with Detroit for another year.
1 year -- $2 million.

Dominik Hasek for $2 million.
What a deal.

Hasek stopping one of the six shots he faced all last season.

......

.........Sitting Coach has a new captain.

Billy Guerin signs with the Isles.

The Isles are a mess.
If you're an Islander fan, you're looking to piledrive someone.

..........

If this was Devilsblog, we would have already had a subsidiary Scott Clemmensen blog running, detailing how much of a joke his NHL career has been.

Toronto signed him to a one-year deal.

Actual quote (in context) from TSN.ca:

''Scott is an experienced professional goaltender, who will provide depth in the organization at that position,'' vice-president and general manager John Ferguson said.

Clemmensen, 29, played six games for the New Jersey Devils this past season registering a 1-1-2 record and a 3.15 goals-against average. He also played one game and had a shutout for the American Hockey League's Lowell Devils.

The Des Moines, Iowa native has played in 25 career NHL games, all with New Jersey, registering a 7-6-4 record with a 2.82 goals against average.

Wow.


Clemmensen goes from the easiest job in the world (backup to Brodeur) to the most pressure-packed situation in hockey.


Even Jesus Christ turned down a two-year deal to play goalie for Toronto.
Who wants that heat?

We're too lazy to go check, but Brodeur's new backup may be a bobblehead of Martin Brodeur.


......The Pens are now taking cash money to secure your place on the season-ticket waiting list.
Not a bad deal, either.

****Late edit****

Sidney Crosby has resigned

The deal is 5 years, 45 million as per the post gazette.
Just a good deal.



In other news, Ray Shero will be named the CEO of the Pirates.

And while mentioning the Pirates: The Post Gazette is running a tremendous feature on the 1997 Pirates.
If you remember Shawon Dunston hitting two home runs against the Indians in a packed Three Rivers Stadium, you know what life is all about.

And not to overdo it with the segues, but the title below is a direct copy from the Post Gazette title of the recap of the 1997 season "A Summer in the Sun."

...................................
A Winter in the Sun
Game #40
Sunday, January 7, 2007


We Steal A Point. PENS LOSE.

Anyway, Gonchar makes one of his few bad plays of the season, springing Lecavalier on his second breakaway.
With the five-hole wide open, Vinny goes blocker-side on Fleury and is stoned.
Right after that, Joltin takes an acceptable penalty, and the Lightning go on a 4-on-3 powerplay which was basically like The Rock taking off his elbow pad before delivering the People's Elbow.
99.9% of the time, the elbow is landed and the match ends. The Pens were in the .1% tonight.

Not tonight.

Commentorblog:

Anonymous said...

thank god for fluery last night.

how bout the look on crosby's face when he scored that goal on his back/side. incredible.

and how bout the look on tarnasky's face when st. louis scored the ot goal. priceless lol.

...................................

This Day In History
July 10

1796

Carl Friedrich Gauss comes up huge by discovering that every positive integer is representable as a sum of, at most, three triangular numbers.

..........................


Day Number

Double L.

Back to Good

After a semi-frantic 24 hours, everything is back up and running fine.

But we now know how Tim McKyer felt in 1994, after he gave up the huge touchdown to the Chargers

Sick

A big thanks to PensblogChris for lending his sweet HTML skills to fix the problem.
And as always a big thanks to the everyone that emailed, we would never make this a private blog because that is stupid, so don't worry.
We initially thought we had been hacked by one of the countless number if enemies we have accumulated.
But it was just something stupid that got screwed up.

...........................
Apologyblog:


Back a few posts ago, we were talking about Ron Francis tying Game Seven against the Islanders in 1993.
And while we hate to bring this up because it is painful:

We have to.

Longtime commentor Chris Yarbrough (aka -Loser Chris) debated with us and told us Rick Tocchet got the goal.
Of course we told him he was insane.
On Thursday he emailed us and told us " a source" within the Penguins organization had confirmed that Rick Tocchet did get credit for the goal.
We wouldn't of believed him but he
sent a score sheet along.
We still did not believe it.
So we checked with Seth @ Emptynetters.
He verified through post gazette records that Tocchet did get the goal.
Sickening, for the last 14 years we thought Francis got the goal.
Oh well, Tocchet is a mess anyway.
Final score
Loser Chris -1
Pensblog-0
93 Islanders-100

If you look closley in that pile you will see someones childhood dying.
...........................
Around the NHL



Looks like we are back to the being bored again until someone does something.
Nothing really going on in the NHL.

In Penguins land...

The New Deal is going alright:
"It has, however, become clear that Crosby will not seek the maximum salary to which he is entitled under the NHL's collective bargaining agreement. That would be 20 percent of the league's $50.3 million salary-cap maximum for the 2007-08 season, or $10.06 million per year for the life of the contract."

Point: FDR asked Ray Shero to help with the new deal.
Counterpoint:Ray Shero wasn't even born.

Speaking of King Shero.
Nice little piece in the trib about him.
"The strength of Ray is the confidence of his vision," TSN analyst Pierre McGuire said. "A lot of guys get swayed by media and public sentiment. Ray is not that kind of guy. He has an internal vision for what he perceives will bring (the Penguins) the Stanley Cup. Most great franchises have an internal vision. Ray's vision is to build around the young guys and supplement them with veterans.

..........................
"Who's now"

What a joke. Lebron James must be on there for not doing anything.


So we got some more details.
The voting will take place starting July 11 between Crosby and that homo that plays shortshop for the Yankees.

Remember, spread the word:

...................
A Winter in the Sun
Game #39
January 6, 2007

Biggest Win Of Season. PENS WIN.

Picture: Jordan Staal dumps Derek Roy and starts to date Evgeni Malkin. Late in the second, the Pens are short-handed. It was gonna be a difficult thing to bear when the Sabres scored to take a 3-2 lead going into the third. However, the Pens killed off the penalty and eventually got a power play of their own. With time ticking down, the Pens throw the puck around on the power play. In a defensive lapse, Malkin is left all alone at the (right? left?) face-off dot. With 2.3 seconds left, Malkin winds up his slapshot, reminiscent of holding the "B" button down on NHL 95, and blows it past Reggie Miller. Great celebration, huge goal. Props to Whitney getting the puck over to Malkin. The third period had only a couple of nervous moments. The Sabres maybe had one or two good chances while the rest of their shots were semi-dangerous. Rob Scuderi took an uncharacteristic hooking penalty in the third, but the Pens' penalty killers got the job done. Sabres pulled the goalie, and Dominic Moore finished off the Sabres with the Pens' first empty-net goal since the eighth-grade picnic.


Commentorblog said:

seth said...

What an effort. They play like this 75% of the time the rest of the year (we know they're gonna have a few slips here and there) it's playoffs without a doubt

1/06/2007 2:10 PM

Good stuff.
...................................

Day number:

Solid

Technical Issues

Hey everyone, we are having some technical issues.

Sorry to lock everyone out, but we thought we were under attack, by hackers or something.
But we are not.
We are ok, everything should be back to normal later tonight.

Enjoy this photoshop.
Pirates are mud.

J-schiff

Go pens

Lowe Ball

As if this NHL off season hasn't been crazy enough, things got wild on Friday.

Kevin Lowe shook things up when he signed restricted free agent Thomas Vanek of Buffalo to a huge deal.
The deal, reportedly worth 50 million over seven years, was an offer sheet.
Meaning that Buffalo had seven days to match the deal.
If they did not, they would have received four first round draft picks from Edmonton.

That's the brass of a riverboat gambler.

Buffalo took about 30 minutes and called a press conference to say they will match the deal.
They also announced their first bobblehead promotion of the season:


The bottom line with this deal, is that either Edmonton did Buffalo a favor by forcing their hand so they will have Vanek for years to come or they basically ended the sabres.
It is not the classiest of moves, but guess what the NHL isn't frienshipblog.

Kevin Lowe, clearly unstable after this whole Nylander thing, might have broken that unwritten rule, but you have to love the move.
Buffalo is reeling. Lowe knew that.
If Buffalo lets Vanek walk, people in Buffalo would have flipped out.
In the end it is all really Buffalo's fault.
Instead of being proactive and locking Vanek up for something they let it slide.
But hey not everyone can be run by Ray Shero.

Buffalo is a joke.

...............................


....The Islanders actually show up in the free agent party.
They sign Bill Guerin and future penguin killer Mike Comrie to deals.
As Empty Netters points out.
The Atlantic division has been probably the busiest division in the NHL in free agency.
It is going to be hard to find a harder division to play in next year.


.....We are more late then your girlfriend's period on this:
So long T-Bo.



...The Pens did sign Max Talbot and Crusher.

Two solid photoshop players returning

.....Here is an update on Max at the World Series of Poker:
He has been eliminated.
"After seeing his stack dwindle during the day Maxime Talbot moved all-in with A-10 and was called by a player with A-Q. The percentages held and that brought an end to the Pittsburgh Penguin center's Main Event."
"When asked how he played today Talbot had an unusually frank (and almost certainly erroneous) assessment of his game--"I suck at poker". But disappointed Penguin fans can at least breathe easy that Max won't be abandoning the ice to play poker full-time."

Solid performance as always.

More on the World Series of poker.
Max wasn't the only NHL related thing there:

Yes that is Janet Gretzky

We thought that someone was joking when they said she was there.
We have to move on.
This is just too easy.


......IGN has a solid review of NHL 08

You can find some more screenshots here.
They had a picture of Gary Roberts, but it crashed 11.5 million computers to crash in the UK.
This game is going to be unreal.


...Update on the World series of poker.
Janet Gretzky asked to be traded to another table.
It must run in the family, eh?

Get your wife some gambling help, fag.

......................
Speaking of homos:

ESPN.

Look we all know ESPN is a joke.
It is a waste of bandwidth to even talk about it.

However.
We happened to accidentally stumble across "The Pulse" on ESPN radio.
Just as we were about to change the channel, some asshole was talking about Hockey being meaningless, and going on the typical anti-NHL tangent.
First off this guy was filling in for Doug Gottlieb, which should tell you a little bit about his career.
Second, who finds these jokes funny?
The NHL gets bashed all the time by these people that claim to be "sports reporters."
OK everyone has their opinions, fine.
But really can we end the whole Hockey is dumb jokes?
It is not working.
Just because ESPN doesn't have people smart enough to work for them, there is no reason to bash Hockey.
Stick with covering Nascar, that's easier for you. Seriously great job.

Where is this going?
Well, ESPN is apparently running this thing called "Who's Now."
They match up certain athletes against each other to see who is more popular.
It is all stupid, but the main thing is this.
Sidney Crosby is matched up against Derek Jeter.
We got a few emails , and noticed commentorblog talking about.
And really we had no intention of really mentioning it, because that is what ESPN wants us to do.
But you know what?
Screw it.

We aren't ones to organize many grassroots movements, but whatev.
The voting seems to start for the Crosby vs Jeter match up on July 11th.
Does anyone even know how it works?
Taking on Yankee Nation, is almost impossible, but if you have come this far maybe you are willing to come a little further.
Pass the word along, and lets see what happens

"Vote for Sid"

.........................
A Winter in the Sun
Game #38
January 2, 2007
Fleury is money in bank. PENS WIN

After buzzing like bees around the proverbial hive, Bing broke out of his half hour slump, and beat Ward five hole.

Picture: Crosby and Malkin are stunned to find out that they both made out with Rod Brind'amour's wife on news year eve.

As the game wore on, you couldn't help but think the Pens missing chance after chance to score would as usual come back to haunt them. But it didn't.

Commentorblog said:

Anonymous said...

After that pathetic excuse for blowing a scoring opportunity by Ryan Malone, I wonder if Thieren will put him on "shot probation."
Eric

1/03/2007 9:03 AM

.........................................

Day number:

+

Do it

Go Pens

Every Day is like the Fourth of July

From all of us at the Pensblog,

We wish everyone a happy fourth of July.

Picture: John Hancock thinking about how gay he looks.

.................
Pens News


...The Pens make amens with Epiphany Church..(thanks snoop)
Gary Roberts will say mass every thursday as well.

...Nice little article on Darryl Sydor.
But Dave Molinari needs to fact check:
"The Kings' faith in Sydor proved to be well-founded -- he has rung up 50 points at least six times, including a career-best 94 in 1993-94 -- but his game has evolved over the years."


Come on Dave you don't work for WPXI, get it together man.

.....The Pens also signed goalie David Brown, from Notre Dame.

David Brown > Rudy
....................
Around the NHL


...We start by copying a link good friend Empty Netters found today.
Bob Duff from MSNBC thinks the lockout was usless.
Seems to be alot of this feeling going around.
Everyone needs to relax.

...Joe Starkey brings up some good points about why free agency is fine.

.......Tons of free agents signings again.

The biggest of which goes to the Devils.
They sign Dainius Zubrus to a 6 yr, $20.4 million dollar deal.

Picture: Devil fans Berry Smith and Mitch Hodge talk to some black guy about the big signing.

.......and last but not least

Our friends over at
www.doubtaboutit.com have a little debate going.
What is a better job?
3rd string QB for the Steelers or 1st line jobber playing with Mario/Jagr/ Sid.
And while it has become harder being a 3rd string QB for the Steelers because the first string QB is a baby.

Joke

Being a first line winger in the NHL still isn't easy.
It is a pretty good debate.
Check it out

....................
Offseason Jobbing tour

4th of July concert

Since the start of free agency a few blogs have emerged as "rumor sites."
All of them are mud.
None bigger than:
The Buzzontheburgh.
This site claims to have all kinds of sources inside the Pens organization.
He has also come up with such gems as:

Blanket statement of the year:
They don't envision him[Rutuu] with the team following the 07-08 season.
Wow what a source.

and

This paragraph is why people touch little boys.
Awful.

So, apparently we aren't the only people sick of the Buzz.

TheBuzzontheturd website is mad too:
Here is an excerpt:
Anne Frank wasn't too happy with buzzontheburgh

"Buzzontheburgh sucks"

Another site:
Burgh Buzz Hockey had this to report:

11:12AM
"The Chicago Blackhawks are considering trading number one draft prospect Patrick Kane to the Chicago Bulls for unisgned former Pitt basketball standout Aaron Gray... my sources have told me Gray has always wanted to play hockey and he is "looking forward to hitting the ice"... no word on whether or not Kane is a baller..."

"The New York Islanders are expected to finish installation of 15 brand new suicide booths at the coliseum for the upcoming season...."

12:15PM
The NHL is considering splitting the Pittsburgh Penguins into two team and forcing them to play each other for every game of the season with no chance of a playoff spot...
.............

Suprisingly even BigBatchNews , back from vacation, threw his name into the jobbing:

Anyways,I just got done throwing 600 straight completed passes, when someone sent me the link to The Buzz on the Burgh blog.
I wiped my sweaty balls on my computer screen and walked away.

Batch out.
Peace.
........................
A Winter in the Sun
Game #36
December 27, 2006
At Least It Was Exciting. PENS LOSE.
Low point of the year?

The Pens successfully killed off every penalty in the first period.
With the Pennies on the power play late in the first, Erik Christensen plinko-ed a goal past Kari "The Boss" Lehtonen to give the Pens a 1-0 lead going into the intermission.

The second period started and things were more perfect than Curt Hennig.

The Pens could use an Intercontinental belt about now.
Eight minutes into the second, however, Vitaly Vishnevski scored to tie the game up at 1.
Eight minutes after that, Niclas Havelid scored with his peepee to make it 2-1.
That 2-1 lead stayed intact for Atlanta until Ryan Whitney rose to the occasion in the third.

57 seconds into the third period, Malkin fed a pass to Whitney, who then buried a powerplay goal to tie the game up. This game still didn't feel right.


Commentorblog said:

Adam said...

I can't wait for Eaton to get back.
Stacey, thank you for visiting the site. You are one more person to please.
Rebecca, we know you've been here a while. Thanks for sticking with us. :]
I agree 100% Malkin has to pick his game up. He's got to shoot the puck more.

12/28/2006 12:35 AM

Pensblog Adam giving Evgeni Malkin tips.
Malkin =85 Points last year
Pensblog Adam= 0

.....................

Day number:

Wow

It's A Long Way To The Top If Ya Wanna Win the Atlantic

It's mid-October.

A somewhat chilly Wednesday.

Pens on the road at MSG.

It smells like fall.
You settle in for another three-hour battle with your TV.
Maybe you have the radio on, listening to Lange.
Maybe you are going with Paul and Bob.

The Steelers probably blew a huge game last Sunday.
Everyone is all pissed off.
Potash is dominating intermission interviews like it is mid-March.

You get by with some pretzels, a cold beverage of your choice, and a strong dislike of the city of New York.

Drury and Gomez job us.
Straka puts the Rangers up 3-0 with 10 left in the third.

Crosby responds
3-1.

Malkin goes coast-to-coast.
3-2.

Fleury robs Jagr.

Goalie pulled now.
Tick, tick, tick.

Pens get the puck.
Crosby passes to the slot:

Petr Sykora and his awesome hair score.

Gary Roberts pile drives someone in OT.
Pens win.

Start the season right now, we're ready.
The first couple weeks of this offseason were mud.
But somewhere in between the draft and the start of free agency, the fire has returned.
October cannot come soon enough.

....................................


Picture: Ray Shero is all smiles after outsmarting someone on his way to this press conference.

Other than announcing the Sydor and Sykora deals...

...Pretty quiet day on the Pens.
The Pens did ink Robbie Scuds.

Some people have suggested that since Sydor and Sykora is here, Sergei Gonchar is dispensable, now.
We won't even justify those arguments.
But you do know what those signings mean:


Farewell Joe Melichar.

................

Around the NHL


Tons of stuff going down.

Todd Bertuzzi went to Anaheim.
2 years -- $8 million.

Steve Moore =Stunned

Michael Nylander went to the Caps.
4 years -- $19.5 million.

Picture: Michael Nylander's agent walking out of the bank he just robbed.

Owen Nolan went to the Flames.
1 year -- $2 million.
If this was 1995, this deal would be unreal.
But it's not.

Bryan Smolinski goes to the Canadiens.
1 year -- $2 million.

Robert Lang goes to the steadily improving Blackhawks.
2 year- $8 million
Watch out for Chicago. Write it down.

The Kings signed everyone.

Picture: Longtime Kings fan Betsy Butters doesn't think it is enough.


And finally, Roman Hamrlik goes to the Canadiens.
4 years -- $22 million.

Backtrack: Ryan Whitney -- 6 years, $24 million.
What a steal, as Commentorblog pointed out.

.....................................

Pittsburgh is burning

...Sports writers in this town are finally losing it.

Bob Smizik tells us about the huge blow-up on the Sunday sports showdown:

"How dare you," Alexander shouted. "Hey, Joe, don't insult Ellis and don't insult me. That's a ridiculous point to raise."
Starkey insisted it was a reasonable point to raise. Alexander then got what amounted to the last word.
"Joe, is your paper an investor in the Pirates?"

Wow.
Watch it here.

Smizik then took some shots at Mark Madden...
and lastly added this about Mike Lange:

"Lange made no secret of the fact he wants to get back into television, an avenue that is not open for him with the Penguins. He was fired after the 2006 season by FSN. Subsequent remarks by Lange infuriated FSN officials to the point there's no chance of him securing his old job."

Best column Smizik has written in 8 years.

....................................

A Winter in the Sun
Game # 35
December 26, 2006
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZ....PENS LOSE.

The first period of the game tonight looked like a game of pong.
But, of course, it was Devils Pong (TM):

Imagine the impossibility of scoring a goal in a pong game like this.
Welcome to the Atlantic Division.

The puck just went back and forth, back and forth. I'm tired of using the word "boring" to describe Devils hockey. Before you knew it, the first period was over with absolutely nothing to talk about.

As expected, the second period was the same as the first period.
Paul Steigerwald mentioned that this game could easily be compared to an NBA game, which is true.
The only difference was that none of the players on the ice were high.
Right after Steigerwald finished that thought, Pat Sajak of Wheel of Fortune fame scored for New Jersey to basically end the game.

I'd like to buy a vowel.

Commentorblog said:

I never understand why everyone gets all butthurt about the Pens losing to Brodeu- er, I mean the Devils.
LAWL!
Seriously though, yeah it sucks and the devils blow just as bad, but brodeur is a great goalie and people need to get over it :P

12/27/2006 12:40 PM

...........................


Day Number:

What a play. What was Bledsoe thinking?
This is when being a Steeler fan was fun.

Go Pens

Money for Nothing, Sticks For Free

If there was ever a time you could feel excitement and surprise over the Internet...

July 1 would have been the day.

Day one of NHL free-agents signing was unreal.

First things first:

Crazy stuff happening.

The Penguins have signed Darryl Sydor, according to TSN.ca

Fact: Darryl Sydor was on an episode of Fear Factor. It lasted three seconds.
151 playoff games. Two cups.
The deal is 2 years, 5 million.
Perfect fit.
Nice little interview:


The Pens have signed Petr Sykora.


Last Season:
GP: 82
G 22
A 31
Pts 53

It is a two-year deal.
No word on cash money yet.

Just a solid hockey player.

Here are some highlights:


...................


Ryan Whitney signed a nice little extension today.
6yrs, 24 million dollars.

At the start of the season, we rode Whitney as much as anyone.
But then he just turned into a really good player.
Smart move by Shero.

The Pens also signed Danny Sabourin.

Look, it is Marc-Andre Fleury's world; we are just living in it.
Affordable backup in Sabourin.
Good move.

Two players the Pens maybe had some interest in, Scott Hannan and Paul Kariya, went to the Avs and Blues respectively.

One Pittsburgh rumor site completely embarrassed themselves.
The Buzz on the Burgh=mud
Little recap:

Oops


And this might be the best one:

"Unless Paul wakes up and changes his mind he will be a Penguins tomorrow."

Paul Kariya= never went to bed

............................


Wild day in the free-agent world.

STOP EVERYTHING.

Let's see how retarded these signings are.

( GP - G - A - P )

DANIEL BRIERE


8 Years -- $52 Million.
Averages to $6.5 Million per year.
No way.

CHRIS DRURY


5 Years -- $35.25 Million
Averages to $7.05 per year.
No way

SCOTT GOMEZ


7 Years -- $51.5 Million
Averages to $7,357,142.86 per year.
No way.

RYAN SMYTH


5 Years -- $31.25 Million
Averages to $6.25 per year.
Solid player, still a little high in price.

Why are people (and certain Pens fans) all over these guys' sacs?

If you thought (or wanted) Ray Shero to drop this money on these players...

you're a joke.

Who the hell gives Scott Gomez a deal worth $7.3 million?
Yeah, the Rangers do.
If Gomez gets $7.3 per year, what does Lecavalier get? What does St. Louis get?

You just have to hope that when it comes time to play with Crosby's balls that his agent realizes that other GMs in the NHL are mud.
There is no way that these contracts should be a measuring stick in regards to what Sid (easily the best player in the NHL) wants or gets.

These jobber teams spent money to get some solid talent.

But...

We have Malkin. We have Crosby. We have Staal. We have Whitney. We have MAF.

That is what's called a nucleus.

You want to sign Gomez or Kariya now for moronic sums of money and have to let Malkin walk in a few years?

Shero is making smart moves, and he isn't breaking the bank.

You could trust Shero on a bungie cord with your newborn baby even if Shero didn't have arms.
He knows what's he doing.

And even if he doesn't...
He is a GM, and you are not.



.........................................

Poor Ted Nolan.

The white man has taken away something of his again.

This time, it's his talent.

The Isles released Yashin.
Blake is gone.
Smyth is gone.

But they did re-sign Jon Sim.

Long-time Isles fan Elmo has seen enough.

Rick DiPietro is in it for the long haul.
Good luck.
The Islanders may go 0 - 82 next season.

And speaking of sucking.
Good luck to the Sabres fans.
Ouch.

For all updated signings, go here.

...........


Day Number:

Land of the Free...Agents

Before we get into anything:

Don't believe reports from Chicken Little that the sky is falling.
Or better translated: The Arena deal possibly falling through.

We have all come way too far to put ourselves through this crap again.
When reached for comment, the Pensblog official chicken, Marty, had this to say.

Chicken little is a fag.

It must be said however:
One last battle with us against Gov. Ed Rendell

(Canaan)

We'd make all kinds of remarks about political junk.
But the facts remain.
This isn't politicalblog.
We don't care if the state orders us to eat KFC every Friday.
Just approve the slots stuff.
And let's move on.

...................................

Around the NHL


Free agency about to begin.
And no question it is going to be special.
We'd tell you what our sources say, but our only source is your mom.
If you really love wild rumors, go to Eklund.


Picture: Eklund making one call to a "source" and the other to a man to come make out with him.

For those who don't know, Eklund is the jobber that starting blogging around at the time of the lockout.
You have to give him credit though. He has made a career out of basically making stuff up.

We don't like to get personal here....
but a here's a funny story we must share about Eklund and his exploits:

Back in the summer of 05' when the NHL was coming back, Eklund was running his old site, and he posted his email to contact him if you were a source.
One of us actually e-mailed him and gave him our cellphone number.
We talked to him and told him we worked with the Penguins.
We told him that Peter Forsberg was a lock to come to the Penguins.
Moments later, it was up on his site.

We called back again sometime later and reported Jagr was on his way back as well.
That obviously tipped him off.

But since then, it is hard to take him serious.
But, hey, rumors are fun.

We recommend Spectors Hockey.
The guy has been around forever and actually has some credibility.

And, as always, don't believe anything unless TSN.ca reports it.

.....Now what will the Penguins do?

Only King Shero knows for sure.
(Canaan is on fireeee)

If you're getting yourself all worked up -- don't.
The Penguins aren't going to do anything that doesn't make sense.
For us, from a pure photoshop standpoint, Paul Kayria could be fun.
A lot of what the Pens will do, you'd have to think, will depend on what the rest of the division does.
The Rangers and Flyers are going to be huge players in free agency.
And the Devils are just gay.
We'd worry about Philly, but we must have been distracted because we actually made the playoffs.


Suck it.
A "Go Home Flyers" chant can't come soon enough.

If anyone hears anything about Pens free agents stuff, just drop a note in commentorblog.

...In some others Pens news:

The Pens were a candidate to play in the "Ice Bowl" in January.
But they declined to host.
But they could be the visitor.

They could have played the game at Heinz field, because the Steelers (joke about playoffs and January. We got nothin. )


This was no question Big Choke's fault.

.......................
A Winter in the Sun
Game #34
December 21,2006
If Only For A Short While. PENS LOSE.



With a minute left, the Pens pull Thibault in their last-ditch effort to tie this game up. The Thrashers clear the puck and Recchi carried the puck through the neutral zone on the always inspiring "final rush". I shifted to the end of the couch. Malkin swoops in, drags the puck along. It hits something and goes wide. Someone chips it over towards the goal crease and right to the stick of Bing. He bangs it in with 15 seconds left to tie it up. When that net moved, nothing else mattered. The feeling only lasted a few seconds, but that was the best thing to happen to the beleaguered Pens fans in the past 48 hours.

"asdfmg;lkfdner.hjerygh934.uw5604j ;g89riudndgoa/sko F;WEIOHJ "
-- Actual IM sent by me to commenter " Will from Butler " when Crosby scored.

The best scoring chance of the overtime belonged to the Pens when Crosby was working the boards like a member of LetsGoPens.com. He sent it out in front, but it just wasn't meant to be. In the shootout, Slava Kozlov made Thibault look like platypus urine and Marian Hossa came in later to score and ice the game, no pun intended. Christensen and Crosby both failed in their attempts to register a goal in the shootout.

Commentorblog said:

Scott said...

Anyone see that play Melichar had tonite...he was skatin up ice and he was gonna pass and as he was gonna pass he totally missed...y is he here... Old man Recs play has declined...and in the shootout Teeblow almost fell on his ass on the second goal

12/21/2006 11:12 PM

..........................


Day number:

Nolan Harrison was solid.