Duck Duck Goose. DUCKS WIN.

Game Two


1 - 0

Yeah, we can basically skip to the third period of this game.

The first two periods were mud.
One or two flurries in front of the net that made broadcaster Mike Emrick have a vocal orgasm is all you need to know about the first 40 minutes.

It was easily comparable to a game of soccer.
Except for the fact that athletes were playing in this game.

A third period starting 0-0 is always interesting.
But when it's in late May and in the Stanley Cup Finals, wear a jock 'cause your testicles will fall off.

Ed Olczyk is a big-time performer. What a color commentator.
It almost makes us forget he was such an awful coach.

Eddie Olczyk sulks after Mario tells him,
"Yeah, that play you just drew up, it's not going to work."

Under 6 minutes to play in the 3rd period of a Stanley Cup Finals game, the defense is tighter than Big Ben's arm in a home playoff game.

Six.

But here comes the Ducks' Sammy Paulsson streaking down the right wing,
cuts inside, uses Lee Malvo as a screen, and snaps it past Ray Emery.

Eat it.

More importantly, Daniel Alfredsson let it happen.
Give yourself up, pee on the guy, do something.
This guy is your captain?
You can have all your goals.
Give your body up, dick.
Wow.

Hey, at least you made it there, Dan...fag

The best chance that the Sens had to tie it came a little later.
Paul Schaefer stared at a wide-open net.
The entire nation of Canada on his stick.

But he takes a huge dump, hitting the side of the net.

The Sens try to break the Ducks trap, but no dice.
A Duck player lays his life on the line to block a shot.

Game.

Can the Senators win 4 out of 5 against the Ducks?


Not gonna deh.

.................................
News

...In Pens news, the best athlete in Pittsburgh will be given the Pens captaincy for next year...

Rachel F.

Picture: Bourgeois homos laughing at people who bought a Crosby jersey without the "C."

...Bing gets some love from Gatorade...

...Mark Messier names Chris Chelios leader of the year...

Chelios received the same honor from Moses in 12 BC.

.................................................

Musicblog

Buddy Holly was unreal

In honor of him:


Lets start Musicblog off right.

This was posted a few days ago.
Stay connected
(Thanks Teej)
1993, a simpler time.



Ace of Base
No one even knows whats going on.
B-94 played this song 1,300 times a week back in the day.
B-94 was a joke.
(Thanks theNICK)



Back to some 80's
Tears for Fears
Everybody wants to rule the world
(thanks Karri)


Don't worry, be happy.
What a strange video.
This guy was on some type of pills.
Robin Williams sighting.
(Thanks Ryan)



Rick Sprinfield
Jessie's Girl
(Thanks Spencemo)
This may have been posted already.
The serious look in Rick's face warrants another view.


Hall and Oates
Thanks to Tiff for the mention
Rich Girl

...........................

A Winter in the Sun
Game #14
November 10, 2006

Ouch. PENS LOSE
Five minutes into the third, Peter Schaefer strikes again, this time with a goal to make it 5-2. About three minutes after that, Maxime Talbot scores a shorthanded goal and it's now 5-3. I'm not gonna lie; that goal perked me up a little bit. We needed another goal before the 15-minute mark to make it interesting, but it just wasn't meant to be. Dany Heatley, his hands still covered in blood, scores again for Ottawa with five minutes left and that was it.

Box Score

Crap we said:

• What is wrong with Colby Armstrong this year? Crosby hit him with a perfect pass in the slot, and Army didn't even have his stick down.
• How awful was the officiating? We'll complain about officiating even if we win, so we're not just finding excuses here. What happened to interference penalties? And that terd hooking Crosby when he was on his way to the net? What a joke.
• On the play where Whitney blindly cleared it to the point, Steigerwald said that it wasn't like Whitney; that it was a panic play and Whitney never panics. Has he been watching the same games that we've been watching? He consistently makes plays like that, but they don't always end up in a goal being scored.
  
• Steigerwald also said in the broadcast that Whitney is our break-out pass defenseman. ok.

Commentorblog said:

ghost of randy cunneyworth said...

These lazy fall saturdays.

football doesn't even matter if the pens lose the night before.

HUGE game in car tonight.

11/11/2006 8:45 AM

Message board said:

Mad City Mike AHL'er Joined: 28 Jan 2006 Posts: 2853 Location: Madison, WI

Posted: Sun Nov 12, 2006 11:15 am Post subject: Re: Thoughts After The Two Game Debacle kirk wrote: 7. With all of the line juggling, would someone please explain to me why Talbot and Moore-- two players who are playing with a lot of jump-- aren't getting their regular shots on the first two lines? I am also wondering whether both should be given some PP time? The PP guys are not working hard enough, and we know that is not a problem Moore or Talbot has. And besides, we are back to last year's method of losing every faceoff and then taking half the PP just to get back into the zone. At least Moore can win a draw. And I'll bet he'd muck in the corners and get dirty in front of the net, too.

Got to love people calling for Moore to see time on the powerplay
......................


Day Number:

Philcollinsblog

Paul Kukla stands up for NHL fans everywhere.

Solid piece.

Pens signed winger Tim Wallace.

Who?
A Notre Dame alum who was in the Pens training camp last year.
A million dollars there is a golfer on the PGA Tour with the same name.

KC is one step closer to the NHL.

He's coaching in the Minnesota Wild system.

Speaking of Minnesota...
How pathetic was Jon Casey.


Have you seen a more deflated human being than Jon Casey after Larry Murphy scored the 8th goal in Game 6?


This picture is the reason the internet was invented.

..........................

Musicblog

Featuring Phil Collins.

How dominant is Phil Collins --
You search "Genesis" in Google, and Phil Collin's band's Wiki page is a higher result than the first book of The Bible.

We planned to only have five Phil Collins videos.
But we couldn't contain ourselves.

Here is ten Phil Collins.
You can't rank them...because they all are sick

Thanks to:
Karri, Tiff, Phill, J Schiff, Anyomous, Phil, Dying Alive, Pete, Jason ,Tee, Joe, Dee, CJ,
and to everyone else who we forgot for submitting videos.

.............................

First up:

What a song.
"Another Day in Paradise"


A few people put this one through.
It may have already been on Musicblog.
Phil Collins had sex with every woman in the bar after this:
"Sussudio"



"Don't Lose My Number"
This video makes no sense.
It is awesome.


"Take Me Home"
It doesn't get much better.
Phil Collins does have a weird-shaped head


"Doesn't Anyone Stay Together"
Live performance.
It is what life is all about.


"That's All"
As Tee said:
"I dare you not to think about your ex-gf while you listen to that."
So true.



Almost speechless for this one.
If you had a time machine...and you didn't go back in time to see the Ultimate Warrior wrestle, you're gay.



"Everyday"
What a relaxing song.


"You'll Be In My Heart"
What a tear-jerking 4-minute ride of a song this is.


But when you talk Phil Collins, you talk this song.
Stunning video.
"In The Air Tonight"


One bonus track:
"Can't Hurry Love"


We need to start a petition to get Phil Collins to sing a National Anthem at the Mellon.
Could you imagine Gary Roberts, Mark Eaton, and Phil Collins in the same building?

Other unreal Phil Collins songs:

"Two Hearts"
"Invisible Touch"
"Land of Confusion"
"Jesus He Knows Me"
"In Too Deep"
"I Can't Dance"
"No Son of Mine"

The more you think about it, the more it comes to realization that Phil Collins is under-appreciated in the world.

............................

A Winter in the Sun
Game #13


Discontinued Chevrolet Car Scores In OT. PENS LOSE.

"But then Ryan Whitney reminded us why we have a love/hate relationship with him. In the middle of an excellent shift, he tries to get a shot through three Lightning players. It hits a player's leg and bounces to the boards. I saw what was coming in slow motion. I saw Lecavalier breaking; St. Louis getting the puck on the boards; St. Louis springing him on a breakaway with an unbelievable pass and Vinny undressing Fleury like he was an altar boy at a Catholic priest weekend retreat.
Game."


The only thing Ekman did all year.

Box Score

Crap we said:

• Crosby-Ekman-Armstrong looks solid
• Malkin-Recchi-Staal will be dominating within the next two games
• Pens did an OK job staying out of the box tonight
• You gotta love Ekman smiling on the bench after scoring his third goal
• If you didn't stand up in your living room as soon as Lecavalier got that puck in OT, you're not a hockey fan.

commentorblog said:

Adam said...

Yea, I just looked it up. It is interchangeable with Nils. Not that I didn't believe you guys.

Malkin was only gonna survive for so long as a winger. He's adapting to smaller rinks...and then he has to learn a new position. I bet it's tough.

I really like the potential of the recchi-malkin-staal line.

and F the 'Ning.

11/09/2006 8:32 AM

Wow, AC really thought the Recchi-Malkin-Staal line was gold.

Messageboard said:

Donald Fagen Junior 'A' Joined: 20 Jul 2006 Posts: 159	Posted: Wed Nov 08, 2006 11:10 pm Post subject: Fleury was abused on that breakaway...start t-bo next game F**K
Back to top

Wow.
.............................



Day Number:

Quack Attack is Back, Jack. DUCKS WIN.

GAME ONE
.........................................

3 - 2

What more could you ask for the opening game of a Stanley Cup Finals?
It was why hockey on its highest level is great.

All the sports writers will say, "Oh, well, no one gets Versus anyway, so who really cares?"
Blah Blah.
Can we retire that joke?
Fact of the matter -- we got Versus and some other people probably do, too.
If you don't have Versus, get a job or just watch the NBA like ESPN wants you to.

In between a TV timeout, cheerleaders dancing, players blatantly traveling, and someone complaining about a foul, Tim Duncan scores against some white dudes.
The NBA is a joke.

Back to hockey.

What a first period.
Both teams looked fresh and ready to roll.
It was hit or be hit.

We know everyone's precious football is rough.
But at any given time in the Stanley Cup Playoffs, if you're not paying attention, you could die.

Ottawa opened up the scoring on the powerplay.
Mike Fisher's shot got deflected. Typical lucky Senators crap. 1-0.

But the Ducks are solid.
They jobbed around, and the puck found its way to the Finnish Flash(TM).
He passes it to Old McDonald.

Old Macdonald had a goal.
Bitch.
1-1.

The rest of the first saw more hard hits than Warren Moon's wife.

NFL Hall of Famer.
Too bad Frank Reich owns.

It was nice to see the Sens scrambling for a change.

On to second....

The Senators lucked into some Powerplays.
Giggy doesn't know whats going on.
2-1 Sens. It might be over.

But the Ducks are sick.
They just keep coming.
They stay the course and ready themselves for the third.
You know what is coming.

Ryan Getzlaf gets the party started with a cheap goal to tie it.
Give the Sens credit. They fought back.
It was end-to-end action. Good times.

Finally the Ducks went ahead, thanks to Travis Moen.
Giggy shuts the door.

Game.

Ducks lead 1-0.

It is going to be a fun series to be a part of.

.........................

Deliveryblog

......The Return of the Winnpeg Jets?

"When we had the chance to go back to Minnesota, we did. Because it made sense, the right ownership, the right building situation," said Bettman. "The market was strong and vibrant. We haven't studied Quebec City or Winnipeg or anywhere else in Canada, but the notion that if it could work to put a franchise back in a place where one was lost, feels good - provided we don't wind up in a situation where we've created a prescription for another failing franchise.
-Gary Bettman.

...Bettman also addressed some things in his State of the NHL:

• Bettman said he expects league revenues to have increased between 6.5 - 7.0 % this season, which means the $44-million salary cap will likely rise to between $48 million or $49 million for next season.

• More games in Europe or an increased presence in Europe will also continue to be a focus for the NHL

....Dany Heatley Story...Whatev. He should marry Lindsay Lohan.

.....Some guy is the new GM of the Coyotes.

.....Andrei Markov gets a huge deal.

...........................

Musicblog


Nat King Cole.
He just dominated.

We'll start in the 80's as usual.
Don't dream It's over
What a song
(Thanks to Anonymous)


Wierd Al
A Jobber hall of famer
Amish Paradise
(Thanks Anonymous)



Coolio, Michelle Pfeiffer.
Riveting.


Harden my Heart
What a weird video
(Thanks Tiff)


Finally some Spinal Tap
(Thanks Dying Alive)


From now on Tuesdays will be top five of a certain Artist/Band.

Tomorrow is Tuesdays with:


Phil Collins.
Just so we can get him out of the way.

Let us remind everyone that love wouldn't have existed in the 80's if it wasn't for Phil Collins.
He wrote the book.

................................

A Winter in the Sun

Game #12
November 6, 2006


Tough, But We'll Take The Point. PENS LOSE.
Never have I thought about sympathizing with the Seattle Seahawks fans, but now I know how it feels like to think a game that you could've easily won was tainted by questionable officiating. We're not complaining because the Ducks didn't really do anything to merit trips to the penalty box, but a couple of the Penguin penalties were questionable calls. Either way, you don't have to be making excuses when the best team in the NHL squeaks by you in overtime.

Box Score:
Crap we said:

• Strong performance by Thibault tonight. You can't go on and on about it because there were no highlight-reel saves, but he kept the Pens in the game. He looks weird in net, and that's probably because we're used to Fleury this year.
• Orpik had a huge hit and a solid game. Anyone remember who Welch laid out in the first period? Wow. Welch had a nice game but has to cut down on the penalties.
• Maxime Talbot is a maniac.
• Apparently, doing a Super Fly Jimmy Snooka into a player from behind and choking him with your stick only merits a two-minute minor for roughing. We are talking, of course, about Pronger flying into the zone to lay out Ekman. Ekman had it coming, though.

Commentorblog said:

Brett said...

Things I learned last night:

the definition of highway robbery - the pens getting out of there with a point

Move over Orpik, Welch is the new landlord of the sin bin

Ryan Whitney hates the game of hockey

I want to donkey punch Pronger (I wonder if he pads his vag like he does his small feet)

and yes, talbot is a maniac hahaha

11/07/2006 8:41 AM

Messageboard said:

BurghThing ECHL'er ECHL'er" title="ECHL'er" border="0"> Joined: 28 Jan 2006 Posts: 933

Posted: Tue Nov 07, 2006 1:33 am Post subject: ANd make no mistake about it, the referees decided this game. The NHL had a chance for a record tonight, making sure the Ducks got their 15 game with a point to start the season. You didn't think the NHL would miss a chance like that did you? Anyone watching this BS and thinks otherwise is a fool.

.....................................



Day:

Your Mom's Station

Playoff Brackets are finished. A winner has been crowned.

Random Asian, thoughts?

"It's about time."

*** The Rundown ***

We knew we had our hands full when we realized that this bracket contest couldn't go the way of an NCAA bracket.
You could've had Anaheim going all the way to the Cup Finals, but if you didn't have them beating the Wild, Canucks, and Red Wings to get there, you didn't get points.
You can call that gay, but since every bracket was scored on that scale and the contest was free, please accept our apologies.

And due to the fact that NO ONE picked Ottawa to beat the Pens, the Eastern Conference sides of the brackets quickly turned to mud.
The series that was accurately predicted the most was the Devils beating Tampa Bay, 4 games to 2.

Due to Ottawa's absence in any of the predicted Finals, we can announce the winner already.

The Winner of the 2007 Pensblog Bracket Showdown is...

Def Leppard drummer Rick Allen, drumroll please.


Dicks.

For the first time ever in the Pensblog Bracket Competition, there is a three-way tie.

******* James Fallen *******
******* Ron Walker *******
******* Ross Bowker *******

We're too lazy to go calculate GAA, so all three will get a prize.

And since the $20 gift card to a mall was primarily for the ladies and funds are short, the winners get their pick of one of the following items:

• $10 GetGo Gift Card
• Box of Sarris Chocolate-Covered Pretzels
• 3-pack of underwear
• A 1991 Penguins puck signed by the entire Pensblog Staff
• Pensblog Staff picture, signed
  
• Two packs of smokes
• Mach3 Razor with extra blades
• $15 iTunes Gift Card
• DVD of Weekend at Bernie's

Winners, please send your address and any details (i.e. kind of cigarettes, size underwear) to:
thepensblog@gmail.com

You have until June 3rd to claim it.

Thanks, everyone!


Click for standings.

3 points for picking winner.
Additional 5 points for picking results ( 4 games to 2 ) correctly.

If anyone calls shenanigans, we could easily throw the brackets in a .zip file and make them available for download.

.................................

...NHL.com gives us the story of Canada adopting the Senators...

..............................................


Paul Devorski and Bill McCreary will be headlining Refereeblog for the Stanley Cup Finals.


Kerry Fraser = Stunned.

............................................

Extended Musicblog

Face it, ol' blue eyes has seen more vagina than your grandma's gynecologist

Bring it

So ol' blue eyes will ring in another start to musicblog
Summer wind in the honor of summer starting


Next up:
Kevin Bacon in footloose
So many thoughts on this, but to sum it up.
He was no question on PCP
(thanks thenick as usual)



Kriss Kross= sick
No way they are still alive
(Thanks Tiff)


The fact it took Byran Adam this long to make an appearance is embarrassing
(Thanks Karri)


And this:
Steve Perry-Oh Sherry
To see this video is to see greatness
(Thanks Anonymous)



Pat Benatar is lights out
the kid at the 1:08 mark looks like crosby
(Thanks Dying alive)


At some point Billy Idol is going to get his very own musicblog
this is a good start
(Thanks Phil)

....................
A Winter in the Sun
Returns tomorrow

Game 12
Pens @ Ducks, where were you?
.......................
Everyone have a good Memorial day

Thanks to all the veterans and current troops
......................

Day number:

I Got My Mind Set On You

What would someone give for a Penguin Saturday night game right now?

You know that feeling.
Chilly winter night against some jobber team.
Photoshops rolling in.
Third period of a tight game.
Pens fall down by a goal.
Then score two straight.
Fleury shuts the door.
Those were the days, friends.
Those were the days.

Instead we are watching Forest Gump on TBS.

What a movie.
The final scene where Forest is talking to Jenny's grave stone.
Tears everywhere.

...........................
Fire David Littleboysfield blog

(J-Schiff)

(Pitt-Penguin 44)

One more pic, and if we don't print it, you know it's offensive.
Which is why we love it.
Click here if you want to laugh.
(Thanks to Josh for helping secure our spot in hell)

The Pirates did win tonight.
Guess who doesn't care?
John Smiley

That face is all business all the time.

In 1991 if John Smiley was pitching, teams didn't even show up.
Wish we could take credit for the Smiley reference.
But reading Dejan Kovacevic piece in the Post Gazette is what spurred the memory.

Pirates blow
...........................
Deliveryblog

... Good Stuff from NHL.com about the Stanley cup playoffs drama.

...It must be the off season because Bob Smizik columns are making sense. He jobs the steelers.

"Having successfully reached into the pocket of the taxpaying public to help fund a $275 million football stadium that sits idle about 350 days a year, the Steelers, knowing a good thing when they see it, appear to be reaching for a slice of the potential treasure of casino boss Don Barden."

Great lead. That's how you sell newspapers.
No word on whether the Steelers have a comment, or they are just waiting for all the porn they downloaded to get done.

.....EA sports did a simulation of the finals...Sens in six they say.

Wonder if EA sports included the Drunk Driving challenge to play between periods.
.......................

Musicblog


George Harrison-I Got my mind set on you
(Ryan coming up huge)




Frito Will sends this reminder of where Hootie has fallen to.



The Presidents
Peaches.
What a song. It just feels like the 90's.
Thanks Jason


This is the strangest video ever.
Brought to you by theNick


Finally some Phill Collins
Thanks to Broadway Joe Wier



One more sneaks in
The Police
Thanks to Clint
Gold



We know we have been missing some videos in commentorblog.
Just send them again.
....................
A Winter in the Sun doesn't run during the weekends.
Here is a post from right before the Anaheim game.
A for ATLANTIC
Apparently it was tough weekend:

Crap we said:

• Steelers go down in a blaze of mistakes
• Terrible loss to South Florida for the Pitt fans
  
• For Penn state fans: Joe Pa gets crushed and is called an old fart on national television.
  
• Pens lose to the Sharks
  

The worst news was this:
Doogie Howser comes out of the closet

....So many jokes...but I simply ask for a moment of silence.

Commentorblog was talking about:

erica said...

i think its bizare how stuff works.

i go 8 months without hearing anything about phil collin, and then he shows up on the pensblog...and then i'm listenin to DVE this morning and they mention him.

11/06/2006 7:26 AM

Strange that Erica is talking about Phil Collins at the same time 6 months ago, on the day someone sent us 5 Phill Collins youtube songs in our email.
Phill Collins is clearly time traveling to mess with us.

Message board nation was saying:

Some dude goes nuts when he hears Thibault will start against the Ducks

Mad City Mike AHL'er AHL'er" title="AHL'er" border="0"> Joined: 28 Jan 2006 Posts: 2849 Location: Madison, WI

Posted: Mon Nov 06, 2006 5:41 pm Post subject: Re: Fleury will sit tonight kbeech wrote: Pens coach Michel Therrien will give goalie Marc-Andre Fleury the night off which means backup Jocelyn Thibault will make his first start of the season. No reason to even watch then, if the coach is admitting they have no chance to win by playing T-Blow. 7-1 Ducks. Oh well, at least I can go to bed early knowing the outcome isn't in doubt. That likely means there will be no grades from me on this one, except this: GOALTENDING: F--. You didn't expect T-Blow to actually look like an NHL goalie, did you? If he hadn't given up those four softies, the Pens might have had a chance. His rebound control was brutal. Even uglier was the one that went in from behind the red line. But who cares, anyway? This was a give-up game since they had already won two on this trip and Therrien didn't want to risk Fleury getting hurt.

.........................

Day Number:

Long Weekend

Short post tonight.

We are actually doing work on the brackets.
So far, no one is even close to a halfway-decent run.
The standings will be up sometime this weekend.

Picture: Marty, stunned to learn his bracket is not done.
....................

Deliveryblog

...Welcome Jonathan D'Aversa to the Pens organization. King Shero signed him today:

"Last season, his fourth with Sudbury of the Ontario Hockey League, D'Aversa, 21, had career highs in goals (13), assists (47) and points (60) and led his team with a plus-minus rating of plus-14. He was third in the OHL in scoring among defensemen."
(Thanks SnoopyJody for the linkage)

......The Fourth Period is reporting the Pens offered contracts to Gary Roberts and that guy who wears number 8.

Sources have told TFP that Recchi has been offered a one-year, $2 million contract, while Roberts has been offered a two-year, $5 million deal

Sources have told us your mom is a skank.

....If you want any NHL news, just go to tsn.ca. It runs the world.

...Ottawa's captain Dan Alfredsson is going to be making commercials for Reebok.
Here is a quick first look:

(Thanks to Byran Parsons)

.........................

Muiscblog


First rule of Musicblog:
There are no rules of Musicblog.

Lately it has been all 80's...
... but if you change it up, and it works...it will be up.

The Bee Gees were money
(thanks Pete)


The Movie "Ghost"
Gut wrentching:

(Thanks to Tiff, leader of the Patrick Swayze fan club)

How Many times have you flipped through the channels and stopped on "Breakfast Club"
Gold


(Will Smith)

Hootie & the Blowfish
What a band
(Thanks Dee Sunco)

................

A Winter in the Sun
Game #11
November 4, 2006

Sharks Are A Solid Team. PENS LOSE.
"The highly anticipated battle of the inverted triangle logos was pretty scrappy from the outset. A minute into the game, Jonathan Cheechoo conducted his train into the back of Pens defenseman Mark Eaton, shoving him from behind in an awkward play. In all fairness to Cheech, if Mark Eaton doesn't fall, it just would have been a play where the two would have ridden into the boards together. Eaton falls, though, and the play looks vicious. Crosby jumps on Cheech like he just stole his lunch money, and the game-long melee officially began."

The hit on Eaton changed the course of history.

Crap we said:

• Anyone else suspicious that Brooks Orpik may have paid off Cheechoo to take Eaton out?
  
• If I coached a team, and my fourth line was Talbot, Thorburn and Ruutu, I would be a happy coach. They generate scoring chances and work hard every shift. I'm beginning to get pumped when I see them on the ice.
• I'm thinking the Sharks fans booed Crosby the entire game because of him jumping on Cheech in that early fight. But if opposing fans are booing Crosby this early in his career, just for the sake of booing him, then wow. What a compliment.

Commentorblog said:

Andrew said...

The way I watched this game...it really looked like neither team deserved to win the game. It was one of the sloppiest games in the new NHL I've seen.
The Sharks goal (second, I think) when Crosby, Malkin, and Armstrong were all in the Sharks end, in the far-side corner. Then Malkin and Crosby fell...yeah...that was pretty terrible.
I have a feeling that they will rebound and take a win out of The California Los Angeles of Orange County/Anaheim We're Not "Mighty" Anymore Ducks (or whatever their name is now).

11/05/2006 12:59 PM

Message Board said:

ziggo Junior 'A' Joined: 20 Jun 2006 Posts: 418 Location: Medicine Hat	Posted: Sun Nov 05, 2006 1:59 am Post subject: I look for Welch to really develope this year. He has shutdown defenseman type capabilities.
Back to top

Noah Welch is a joke.
What a trade by Shero.
...................................



Day:

Puck Dreams

Before we start anything.

May 25, 1991
Bloomington, Minnesota
10:16 pm


Raise your hands in the air, and look to the heavens.
Somewhere Badger Bob is smiling.
What a great time to be alive

...................................
Spit-shine your shoes

The pinnacle of the NHL season.

The Ducks started off the season ridiculously hot and never really cooled off.

The Senators were mired in the deep recesses of the Eastern Conference at Thanksgiving but starting owning after that.
They have won 12 of their last 15.


Jimmy the Monkey says Senators in 6.


Marty, the official chicken of The Pensblog, says Sens in 5.


This guy says, "Marty, you're a joke. Ducks in 6."


What do you think, bitches. Ducks in 4.


Brett Hulls says Red Wings in 3.


Jack Burton says it's all in the reflexes.

..................................
Deliveries

...Today we learned that Brian Leetch retired.

It's not really news. It seems like he retired 5 years ago.

....In Pens news
Eklund, the guy who makes stuff up and sees if he gets it right, said both Roberts and Rex are thinking of staying.
In other news Gary Roberts will now appear on French frie boxes at McDonalds.

.....Rick Tocchet is still in a mess. He's appearing court Friday in regards to all the gambling crap from whenever.

Good luck, Rick.

...Some skank cheerleader is suing the Rangers.

"She accused MSG of turning many of her teammates, including longtime friends, into adversaries by ''pumping them'' for disparaging information about her and pressuring them into signing statements critical of her."
"She said the disparaging remarks led to hyperactivity and deep depression, culminating in a nine-month stretch in 2004 when she spent much of her time in bed crying and thinking of death"

If you ever find yourself caugh in a nine-month stretch of laying in bed crying, and thinking of death.
Just end it.


...........................
Jobbing Service Co.

Thanks to reader Ted Dell, from Portland. He saw this store and took a picture of it.

Not a whole lot to job at.
The Clock wants the Steelers to go no huddle.

Mark Malone wouldn't have mouthed off like that.

Mark Malone= A real QB

And finally everyone is sick of David Littleboysfield.
Someone job a photoshop of him.

He is begging for it.

..............................

MusicBlog

Great work by Commentorblog on the movie montages.
Tough choices as always.

First up.
Got to be Rocky.
TheNick had the Rocky mentions.
But Louis Lipps sinks ships.
No Easy way out, wow

Karate Kid
(Thanks to Jason)
If this doesn't make you want to fight someone and or bang Elizabeth Shue, your gay



Goodfellas
(Thanks to The Nick)
One of the best, Eric Clapton is gold.


Tough to post this.
Patrick swayze doesn't even know whats going on
(thanks to Willsmith for not finding the english Casino, but this)

Flashdance
Got go respect it
(Thanks Karri)


Highway to the Danger Zone
(thanks Tiff)



Two quick videos
A few people sent this in.
Come on Eileen


And this one goes in only because Aunt Becky from full house is in it.
(Thanks AJ)

...........................

Winter in the Sun
Game #10
Wednesday, November 1, 2006

Hasta L.A. Vista, Kings. PENS WIN.

" In the third period, we figured that if this team is supposed to go somewhere this year, they had to pull this win out. We get a powerplay about five minutes into the third, figuring we'd get the tying goal there...but we didn't. Six seconds after the penalty expires, though, Noah Welch threw a puck to the net that hit some shit and went into the net. Tied game. Huge. The rest of the third had Pensblog Nation wishing that the Pens can at least escape with a point. The third period ends, and overtime commences. Happy with a point at least. "

Crap We Said:

• Any overtime game this year will excite us because we get to see Crosby and Malkin in flowing 4-on-4 action. It took the Kings about a minute to crap on themselves, as Mattias Norstrom gets sent to the box for hooking Malkin. After toying around with the Kings for a while, The Malkin ends up scoring off a rebound. Game.

CommentorBlog Said:

Andrew said...

I'm going to say this...and you listen well, youngsters...When a team can pull wins out of their ass like the Pens did tonight...that means great things. Look at the years that the Patriots won the Superbowls. How many of those games should they have lost and somehow, someway Our Lord and Savior Tom Brady (at least in the eyes of non-Pittsburgh media) pulled victories out. That's what we have in Pittsburgh right now with our belovéd Pens. Watching Malkin and Crosby in OT makes me want to shoot my literal and metaphorical jizz all over the place.

11/02/2006 2:43 AM

MessageBoard Blog Said:
Letsgopens.com
Right after Malkin scored in OT.
Great stuff

Back to top
yeltzen ECHL'er Joined: 28 Jan 2006 Posts: 1910 Location: Greentree	Posted: Thu Nov 02, 2006 1:59 am Post subject: Yeeeeee friggin' ha.
Back to top
Fast B ECHL'er Joined: 31 Jan 2006 Posts: 1839 Location: San Mateo, CA	Posted: Thu Nov 02, 2006 2:00 am Post subject: OH HELL YEAH!
Back to top
Stoosh ECHL'er Joined: 28 Jan 2006 Posts: 2150 Location: Aliquippa, PA	Posted: Thu Nov 02, 2006 2:00 am Post subject: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! I got nothin! EVGENI MALKIN!
Back to top
netwolf AHL Hall of Famer Joined: 28 Jan 2006 Posts: 8330 Location: Washington, PA	Posted: Thu Nov 02, 2006 2:00 am Post subject: You can't stop Evgeni Malkin. There are doubts as to whether it's even possible to contain him.
Back to top
letsgopens87 ECHL'er Joined: 23 Feb 2006 Posts: 618	Posted: Thu Nov 02, 2006 2:00 am Post subject: MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALKINNNNNNNNNNNNNN!
Back to top
eberhard Junior 'A' Joined: 09 Feb 2006 Posts: 418 Location: Highland Park	Posted: Thu Nov 02, 2006 2:00 am Post subject: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Back to top
yeltzen ECHL'er Joined: 28 Jan 2006 Posts: 1910 Location: Greentree	Posted: Thu Nov 02, 2006 2:00 am Post subject: Wow... that puck was just there forEVER. I think I was celebrating 5 seconds before the goal happened.
Back to top
eberhard Junior 'A' Joined: 09 Feb 2006 Posts: 418 Location: Highland Park	Posted: Thu Nov 02, 2006 2:00 am Post subject: ARE YOU KIDDING ME
Back to top
Jesse AHL'er Joined: 31 Jan 2006 Posts: 3125 Location: Pittsburgh	Posted: Thu Nov 02, 2006 2:00 am Post subject: You wanna talk about BURYING a freaking puck!!!!
Back to top
Deas ECHL'er Joined: 29 Mar 2006 Posts: 1374 Location: Gävle, Sweden	Posted: Thu Nov 02, 2006 2:00 am Post subject: MALKIN IN OT!!! From Gonchar and Crosby
Back to top
NIN AHL All-Star Joined: 30 Jan 2006 Posts: 5159 Location: Pittsburgh, PA	Posted: Thu Nov 02, 2006 2:01 am Post subject: Good Lord. I really enjoyed the 1st period, the other two were kind of sloppy by both teams but a great ending.
Back to top

....................................



Day

Nashville Burning

Breaking news

Parasite Jim Balsillie has latched himself onto another host franchise.

This time, it's the Nashville Predators.
( Thank you to longtime friend Dennis from PittBlather for the link. )

We all know this feeling.
We'd make the obligatory points that no one cares in Nashville anyway, and that maybe it was a bad idea to put a franchise there.
But still it is never fun to see this.
Jimmy Ballsack is a joke.

Good Luck Nashville.
Good luck.

Maybe this totally random 80's video will cheer you up.
If not, have fun packing boxes.
(Thanks to Jason)

............................

Deliveriesblog

.......Nothing new on the contracts of Reechi or Mr. Roberts.

Shero, who Monday expressed optimism and predicted there would be a resolution one way or the other soon, declined comment yesterday.
Rick Curran [Agent]also remains optimistic that both players could return to the Penguins for 2007-08, but he said more time is needed.

"No deals are a simple process anymore in the days of a salary cap," he said.

......Great Story from Empty Netters today.

Francis "King" Clancy was a hall-of-fame defenseman mostly noted for his time with the Toronto Maple Leafs. But before he went on to make his mark with the Maple Leafs, Clancy was a star player with the original Ottawa Senators helping them win the Stanley Cup in 1927. Following the 1929-30 season, the Senators, feeling the pinch of the Great Depression, sold Clancy to the deep-pocketed Maple Leafs in a Ruthian trade. Legend has it, an upset Clancy, who had roots in Ottawa, bellowed this statement as he boarded a train to Toronto:

"Mark my words! I will be dead for at least 20 years before they lift that cup again!"

The Maple Leafs would win the Stanley Cup 10 times since that time while the Senators would move to St. Louis for a season and finally fold in 1935. A new Senators franchise would not form until the 1992-93 season and endure several years of postseason difficulties, especially at the hands of the Maple Leafs.

After a long and fruitful life that saw him win the Stanley Cup several times as a player and front office employee of the Maple Leafs, good old King passed away in November of 1986.

That was over just over 20 years ago.

Sick.
One thing Empty Netters didn't find, is how Francis Clancy died
Car accident.
He was killed by a drunk driver.

Yea like Heatley jokes weren't going to come back

........Nice little Column from Yahoo's Dan Wetzel about the " Preakness game"

.....................

The 2007 Offseason Jobbing Tour Rolls On

Seeing that John Fedko has voluntarily mentioned Gary Roberts two nights in a row and has even show a picture of The Gary Roberts during his program, it is safe to say that the tour bus is pulling out of the PCNC parking lot.



Any further jobbings of the Fone Zone are not the work of us, although said jobbings are very much condoned.

The happenings of the last two nights on PCNC have been hearsay to us, however, as we were experimenting with the Comcast parental controls on our television.
And since the parental controls block out gay porn, PCNC and the Carson Daley show have been unavailable to us.

........................

Speaking of gay porn, a turd in the Steelers office accidentally sent a mass e-mail littered with porn out to NFL big wigs league-wide.
It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out who starred in the porn.

"Lord, grace us with your mercy and don't let any of us pull muscles during this massive orgy we're about to partake in. Amen."

More News from the gayiron

The Clock and his agent want a contract extension that could make him the highest-earning athlete in Pittsburgh history, surpassing Mario Lemieux.

What a mistake this would be by the Steelers.
Neil O'Donnell agrees.

Picture: Neil O'Donnell showing God how big Gary Roberts' erect penis is.

...........................
Musicblog

Another lights out day.
We are trying to get everything in.

Hulk Hogan + late 1980's= dominating.
(Thanks Lloyd)
We should probably have a blog dedicated to wrestling entrances.

She Drives me Crazy
What a video
(thanks Willsmith)


And also.
Anything by Madness we are putting up.
(Will again)


Living in a Box
Wow
(Thanks Phil)


OK now it gets tough.
As always any music video link will be up for posting.
But can you handle music video montages in Movies?
An example?
Bring it


.....................................

A Winter In The Sun
Game #9
Saturday, October 28, 2006

Hat Trick or Treat. PENS WIN.

" Four minutes after Knuble scored, Sidney Crosby started his rampage. Ryan Whitney fed Sid a nice pass on the rush that Crosby knuckled into the net. Six minutes later, the Flyers had a 4-on-3 powerplay, and it felt like they could take the lead there. But, Forsberg and Gagne decided to hump each other, springing Maxime Talbot on the most liberal breakaway in Penguins history. Talbot buries it, and that shorthanded goal ended the scoring in the first, Pens up 2-1. "

Crap We Said

• Maxime Talbot with two goals tonight. One year older, one year better.
• Jordan Staal: 1 A, and doing well in all areas of the game.
• How bout Thorburn standing up for Gonchar by taking on Derian Hatcher. Chris Thorburn sounds like the name of an NFL special teams specialist. But I like having him on that fourth line.

CommentorBlog



Message Board Blog:

faithinbalsillie Junior 'A' Joined: 18 Oct 2006 Posts: 63	Posted: Sat Oct 28, 2006 4:35 pm Post subject: Flyers will more than likely win this game. The Flyers are a very good team, but weren't playing good hockey under Hitchcock this season. Something was wrong. Flyers are better than the Penguins, and will be until the young players on the Pens mature. I look for the Flyers to make up for the first game they met this year. Flyers 6, Penguins 2

For old time sakes
..............................


the 36th day

Field of Nightmares

Final Score:
Who cares

Big news before the game, brought to us by The Rob King:
Craig Wilson cleared waivers.
He is now a free agent and can be picked up by any MLB team...or make your MTO at Sheetz.

Opening segment time.
You can't help but wish it were a penguins game.
Lets go to the Broadcast team.

Lanny Frattare and John Weiner

The Lanny Fratare dusts off the vocal cords greets us at the top of the broadcast.
You talk about patience, you talk about a broadcaster that has been with the Pirates through these dark times.

John Weiner is a moron.

......................

If you look up "punctual" in the dictionary, you will find a picture of an MLB umpire.
If game time is 8:10, the pitcher is toeing the rubber at 8:09:46.

If you haven't umpired a cut-throat PONY tournament championship game at Peterswood Park, you haven't lived.

.............................

TOP 1

Well, Adam Wainwright got the start for the Cardinals tonight, even though he sounds like the fourth-string white wide receiver you can find on any NFL team.

The Pirates start the jobbing with Jose Bautista. 6-3, jack.
Sanchez comes up and dominates, going opposite field. He batted like .845 last year.
The Buccos getting ready to get demoralized by a double play as Jason Bay moves Freddy over to 2nd with a base knock.
Adam LaRoche and the most apathetic-looking batting stance in baseball comes to the plate.

LaRoche sees more balls than your mom's chin as Wainwright loads the bases with a walk.

Xavier Nady comes through with a ribby, and boom. 1-0 Buccos. That fast.
Flyin' Ryan Doumit up next. K city.
Paulino goes 6-3 to end the inning. 80 LOB.

BOT 1

The Duke got the start for the Buccos.
A 1-0 lead before you step onto the field is always nice.
Eckstein takes a pitch to left field. And so it begins.
Duncan gets hit with a Duke pitch.
Jesus walks to the plate.
Pujols hits into the infield fly rule -- Not to be condescending, but the infield fly rule prevents the defensive team from jobbing, dropping the ball, and getting an easy double play.
DUUUUUUKE. Rolen flies out to left to end the inning.

This batter-by-batter stuff isn't gonna fly.

BUCCOS - 1
CARDS - 0

..........................................................

TOP 2

Well, sweet.
Dukey gets a single, Bautista gets a single.
Freddy starts off 2 for 2. Wow.

Otis Redding steps up to the plate. K.
LaRoche K.

At the end of the inning we decided too take a field trip to PCNC.
Night talk with Mike Pintek

"Greg" from Mt. Washington gets on.
He brings up some good points about the smoking bans.
"People say smoking causes cancer. Well so does Gary Roberts"
Give it up to Pintek though. He handles it with poise. We will never job him again.
Just a solid human.

BOT 2
Back to Pirate baseball

Adam Wainwright decides to give himself a 2-1 lead when he hits one out to deep center.
Laroche cuts off the throw coming to the plate to the chagrin of everyone.
Inning over.
This post may be over.

Thanks to Lipps for this

...............

TOP 3

Xavier Nady tries to beat out a grounder, but Scott Rolen is too quick.
That's as close to a tie as you'll see on a play at first.
"Runner gets the tie" is the biggest myth in the sports world.
The Baseball rulebook says nothing about ties; only that a runner must beat the throw to a base.
A strikeout, and a grounder. Half-inning.

Thanks to Lipps, again.

Bottom 3

We see Tony Larussa shotgunning a beer in the dugout.
Thats it.

We had Don Slaught jokes ready.

What a player
We had Ronny Paulino photoshops.

(the one and only J-Schiff)

And we ready to start the Vote for Don Kelly campaign for the all star game.

But the bottom line is that when it comes to Baseball recaps, we don't have it.
After barely getting through three innings, we respect our buddy over at
Where is Andy Vanslyke
The hardest man in blogging.

Pirates are mud though.
They were down 125-2 at last glance.
.............................................................
NHL BLOG

The ducks were cruising.
Up 4-1.
Visions of sugar plums dancing through their heads.
But then they went out and had a worse period than your girlfriend.

Do it

But the Wings couldn't tie it up.
The last minute of the game was what the playoffs are all about.

It is now set.

Game One
May 28

What a series.

.......................................

Deliveries

...Bing and Geno win more awards


...Ron Wilson could get fired.. this link was just to make it look like we actually care whats going on.

....Is Center ice on its way out?

................................
2007 Offseason Jobbing tour.



Jumpthesharkblog

It has been a wild ride on the jobbing tour, but rumor has it maybe going on a little hiatus.

As much as it makes us psychically sick.
Give a little credit to Fedko

We caught the tail end of his show, and he has now embraced Gary Roberts.
We don't have the tape, but he shows Roberts pictures up and talks about him in glowing terms.
Well played.
Prank calls are meant to piss people off.
If people embrace it, it is not as funny.
And we will not be embraced by John Fedko
We will always think Fedko is a joke.
Unless he goes his mustache back, and stops covering high school boys.
That could help.
Are Gary Robert phone calls done on PCNC?

Cliffhanger
.........................................
Music Blog



Good to start off with twisted sister
(Thanks to loser Chris)


The always honest Johnny V comes up huge


This first minute of this beyond bizarre.


And if you talk 1980's
You talk Michael Jackson

Yea he likes little boys, we know.
But he was sick back then


.....................................
A Winter in the Sun
Game #8
October 24, 2006

The View Up Here Is Nice. PENS WIN.
Crosby and Malkin were toying with New Jersey all game, and then Crosby fed Malkin a three-line pass that Malkin received while barely staying onside. This goal is hard to explain, mostly because I'm at a loss for words even as I type this. My celebration of this goal consisted of me almost breaking my face trying to run up the stairs. Video of the goal can be found at PittsburghPenguins.com.
-AC

Miscellaneous:

• Penguins win face-off battle 25-24
• What is up with Marty Brodeur this year?
• Mark Eaton: 7 blocked shots
• Maxime Talbot is an excellent PK man. Nearly forgot about that.
• How excellent was Malkin and Crosby's celebration after Malkin's goal.
  
• Pens on a 3-game winning streak

First time we didn't say how great Moore was

Commentorblog said:


Message board said:
From letsgopens.com

This is from the game thread right after Malkin Scores.

NIN AHL All-Star Joined: 30 Jan 2006 Posts: 5159 Location: Pittsburgh, PA	Posted: Tue Oct 24, 2006 9:16 pm Post subject: HOLLY ****!!!
Back to top

Author	Message
skullman80 ECHL'er Joined: 29 Jan 2006 Posts: 2483 Location: Pittsburgh, PA	Posted: Tue Oct 24, 2006 9:16 pm Post subject: HOLY ****!
Back to top
Kicksave AHL'er Joined: 28 Jan 2006 Posts: 2972 Location: Pittsburgh, Pa	Posted: Tue Oct 24, 2006 9:16 pm Post subject: HOLY SH*T
Back to top
Geezer ECHL'er Joined: 05 Oct 2006 Posts: 827	Posted: Tue Oct 24, 2006 9:16 pm Post subject: What a move
Back to top
Rychster Junior 'A' Joined: 28 Jan 2006 Posts: 299 Location: Southeastern VA	Posted: Tue Oct 24, 2006 9:16 pm Post subject: That russian is pretty good!!!!!!!!! MAKLIN GOAL! HIGHLIGHT REEL!!!!!!!
Back to top
Stoosh ECHL'er Joined: 28 Jan 2006 Posts: 2147 Location: Aliquippa, PA	Posted: Tue Oct 24, 2006 9:17 pm Post subject: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! HOLY F'ING SH*T!!! EVGENI MALKIN!
Back to top
Brode ECHL'er Joined: 31 Jul 2006 Posts: 1624 Location: Winnipeg	Posted: Tue Oct 24, 2006 9:17 pm Post subject: Holy sthi.
Back to top

Good times



...........................

Day 35

internal

Bob Burtons adress

630 W. Palm av #29 orange, ca 92868

Go Bucs

Tuesday night, the Pirates go to the house that steroids built to take on the St. Louis Cardinals.

We salute you, Mark McGwire, for being a douchebag.

Even if you're not a fan of baseball, definitely tune in.

FSN

8:10

We'll be recapping the game, if we can get through it

You can bet your balls or ovaries that we'll be accepting photoshops for the game.

...................................



Thanks to the work of great readers and the knights of the CommentorBlog, both John Fedko and Gary Roberts have had their Wikipedia pages updated in light of recent events.


Fedko's page is littered with Roberts references.

..........



.................................



What will take the Heroes timeslot on Monday, June 11?

Game 7 of the Stanley Cup Finals.

....................................

This Post Paid For By The Linderman Group

Tuesday, May 22
8:10
Duke vs. Wainwright.

It will be recapped.

Oh, yes. It will be recapped.

Hopefully with the blessings of the hardest-working man in blogging, Pat from WHYGAVS.

...................................

Adam hasn't been anywhere near The Pensblog for at least the last 3 weeks.
He's been busier than Paris Hilton's publicist/vagina

But he's back...which means only one thing
Playoff brackets update before the Stanley Cup Finals begin.

This time, it's for real.

...........................................
News

Wow some actual Penguin news on the Pensblog. Imagine that.

"I'm hopeful. I'm determined," Shero said. "I'd like to have both back. I think they both added a great deal to our hockey club. I made it clear to both Gary and Mark I want them back."

....Brett Hull jobs the ducks....

"If I was Detroit, I would not be worried about being down 3-2, because they dominated," Hull said on air after the game. "They can go in and win (Game 6) and come home and win Game 7."

Brett Hull is a joke

...Mike Prisuta with a nice little piece on King Shero.

...........................................
2007 Offseason jobbing tour


Not a whole lot going on.

Big Ben was at a golf outing according to BigBenNews.com

Picture: Ben staring intently at some naked dude on the fairway..

Meanwhile Big Batch News reports Charlie Batch was praticing.

"After donating blood, and working an eight hour shift at Goodwill.
Batch and Mark Eaton said mass at a local church."
................
Music Blog


No idea where to even start.

(Thenick) set the bar high:
Safety Dance
Gold


Corey Hart reference:
Surreal
(Thanks to Tiffany)


Men at work
Couldn't pass this up
Thanks (Willsmith)



The Outfield
"Your Love"
(Dying Alive=money in the bank)
The guiatar player is feeling it.


90's music blog
A middle school dance
Early fall sometime around 1994 or so
All 4 one

What a gay video
....................

A Winter in the Sun

Game #7
Saturday, October 21

Jordan Quits Staalin. PENS WIN.

"The sweet thrill of victory. Not just a nail-biter victory, either. A nice solid victory. As solid as Mark Eaton's physique, according to Paul Steigerwald and Bob Errey.
Gave up another 2-0 lead, but it really didn't feel like it was gonna be another Saturday night Pens loss at any point in the game."

Crap We Said:

• Uhh...Jordan Staal and Letang are staying this year.
• Armstrong is coming along.
• We're gonna have to stop praising Crosby, Malkin, Eaton and Moore sometime.

CommentorBlog Said:

All the other commentors were Adam and Derek.
Loserblog

MessageBoardBlog Said:

Jesse AHL'er Joined: 31 Jan 2006 Posts: 3091 Location: Pittsburgh

I love how people are projecting Staal having success into a position he's really yet to even play. Staal is great on the PK, but his even strength minutes are slim at best. He's getting SLIGHTLY more physical, but still isn't tough enough to go against a top checking line and be effective. It's silly to say "Staal should stay because he's great on the Penalty Kill and can carry the puck". There are a lot of guys here like that. The question is what has Staal done 5 on 5 and has he consistantly shown that he can play at an NHL level and be productive? At this point, I'm not sold that this is the case. It's a tough decision, but Staal doesn't have the offensive experience that makes me comfortable keeping him here yet. I think he would benefit from an extra year in Peterborough where he actually has the opportunity to hone some of that Raw talent that he has. Lumping him in with players like Crosby and Malkin is absurd, there isn't anyone in that draft class that should even be mentioned in the same breath; therefore it's silly to try to compare apples to oranges. Both Crosby and Malkin were offensivley dominant and absurdly good upon their acquiring.

Jordan Staal > Jesse
.................................................


34

The Finnish Flash

10 years from now, some 11-year old kid in Detroit is going to start RedWingsBlog.

His first post:
"Why did Andreas Lilja give that puck up?"

Game.

In a game that Detroit dominated, Anaheim would rise above.
First, Scott Niedermayer ties the game as a puck bounces off Nicklas Lindstrom's stick.
Then the aforementioned Andreas Lilja makes the mistake of a lifetime.
Everyone wants to yell at Rob Scuderi.
This was about 1,345 million times worse.
He turns the puck over in front of his net in OT.

We're talking Steve Smith/Edmonton Oilers stuff. YouTube that shit.

As soon as Teemu Selanne touched the puck, everyone knew it.
Deke, backhand, top shelf.
That goal is the definition of being a big-time player.

Go suck on some squids, Detroit.
Ducks up 3-2
(thanks to Anthony Costa for the pic)

Lets go Ducks.
I don't think anyone can even stomach a Wings vs. Senators Final.
..............................................

Deliveries

..Awesome story about Peter Taglianetti, and what he did in 1991 to fight an injury.( Thanks to Ryan)

"Taglianetti was back playing, but the secret got out. Taglianetti was using peanut butter to help heal an injured ankle. Skip Thayer put the peanut butter in a baggy and taped it to the injured ankle just underneath the skate flap. All of a sudden, Taglianetti could tie his skates and move around without pain. He was ready to go."


..... This is all you need to know about some Senator fans.

"Witnesses said Renee Luck, a visitor from Buffalo who was wearing a Buffalo Sabres jersey, was punched four times after making a joking reference with Senators fans after Ottawa's Game 4 loss to Buffalo."

Hopefully she made a good Heatley joke.

(George Hanna)

...Buffalo is still stunned they lost.

Picture: Lindy Ruff's wife hasn't eaten since Buffalo lost.

.................................

2007 Offseason jobbing tour


All Quiet on the Jobber Front

We are going to cool it with old Fedko for a little bit but just so that we can lull him into a sense of complacency.
But of course if you want to "bring it, bring it to the Planet," we fully endorse it.
When we get him again, it will be like nothing you have ever seen.

Elsewhere...

Big story on WPXI about the Bus's new restaurant coming on Tuesday.
We will pay someone $1,000 to do the following:

• Go into the restaurant...
• Pretend to choke...
• Say, "Sorry i was just reenacting Jerome in a big game"...
• And to wrap it up, point at Jerome Bettis and call him a douchebag.

Or

• Refuse to pay the bill and say the reason is you thought it was Woodson's Allstar Grill.

...On the subject of getting jobbed...
NBC took off OT of the Sabres and Senators for a horse race.
"Even more disappointing for the league is that the winning goal was scored 9 minutes 32 seconds into overtime, at about 5:20 p.m. NBC could have stayed with the game and then immediately switched to the Preakness coverage leading up to the race, which didn't run until after 6 p.m."

Wow, is that a complete joke.

If Jesus came back and fought Bishop Donald Wuerl in a impromptu Ladder match, NBC wouldn't leave an NFL preseason game.


Jesus has the Golden Chalice.
Bishop Weurl wants it.
Anything could happen.

Special Guest Referee: Your mom.

............................

Music Blog


Tons of great stuff left in commentorblog on Friday:

From Anonymous 1:
" The Final Countdown"
Gold



From Anonymous 2:
Wow
No wonder people did alot of coke in the 80's


And Finally thanks to Phil for this:
Great song

...........................
A Winter in the Sun
Game #6
October 19, 2006

On The Third Day, Gonchar Rises. PENS WIN.

In overtime, the Pens were given a powerplay. A 4-on-3 powerplay consisting of Malkin, Crosby, Recchi and Gonchar. It brought back memories of Lemieux, Jagr, Francis, Murphy. That quartet didn't capitalize, but later in the same powerplay, Gonchar remained on the ice and one-timed a shot that got behind Dunham and that was it...sending all 523 people in attendance home to watch the Mets in Game 7 of the NLCS.

Crap we said:

• Crosby was a mad man tonight. Finally, he looks like 05-06 Crosby.
• You have Malkin, Crosby, Gonchar...you don't have to repeatedly dump and chase when you're on the powerplay.
• Another excellent defensive performance for the Pens and Fleury.
• We're gettin tired of praising Eaton and Moore

We didn't make any Ted Nolan jokes.
That's weak.

Commentorblog said:


Message Boards Said:

Kicksave AHL'er AHL'er" title="AHL'er" border="0"> Joined: 28 Jan 2006 Posts: 2965 Location: Pittsburgh, Pa

Posted: Thu Oct 19, 2006 10:20 pm Post subject: Ron` wrote: This will help the team alot, with the growing pains. Always have to respect your opponent, the didn't get here any easier than you. Every night is a new night and you have to work. Great effort, great team rebound, a coaches dream... If the team can stay near .500 till around December, they'll make the playoffs. The team is just soo young to compete all year but if they can get through the growing pains and be within striking distance, I like their chances.

Thats gold


Edit: That Game 7 of the NLCS.
Oliver Perez started for the Mets.
Wow.
.................................


Day 33

Fedko Prank

Enjoy

Late night edit*
Here are the clips of the show from friday night.
Fedko was ready for us.

• It is not the sound on your computer, Fedko actually pretended someone asked him something, meanwhile they dipped the sound. It was a veteran move.
• Does anyone know why Fedko jobs Ellis Cannon? "Digbe" is not Fedko's producer, but merely Fedko mocking Ellis.
• Who Pranked Steigy?
• Why does he mock Jim Colony?

No Post tonight
We'll be back tomorrow

If you are in the prank phone call type of mood
Look at this:

Ottawa is going to the cup.
Devasting loss for Buffalo in OT
Daniel Alfredsson might be a homo, but when you score the game winning to propel your team the Stanley cup finals, your name can be taken off the missing persons list.
.............................................

Day 32

Fedko producers dominate.... Pensblog loses. Fedko still a tool

Wow.

First night of no NHL games for the first time in a while.
It sucks.
So.......
The 2007 Pensblog Offseason job tour rolls on.


And of course after last nights hysterics
(video will be up tomorrow)
We were going to try and complete the five phone zones in five nights.

But Fedko was waiting, as expected.
Kudos to all the behind the scenes people.
They kept us at bay.
The show was still ruined.
But after reviewing the tape, it was clear no one got through.
Just knowing that they took time out of their day to plan for phone calls about Gary Roberts is good enough for us.
We are going to lay low for awhile.
But we'll be back Fedko.


Fedko did mention something about John Steigywald flipping out tonight.
Can anyone confirm this?
We want to make it clear we had nothing to do with it.

1. We respect Subway to much
   
2. The last time we jobbed anything Bob Pomp is a part of, the next morning our cars were totaled, and we found a note written in human blood that said:

"Do it again, I dare you"

It is going to be a long summer
.......................
Not a whole lot tonight, someone was kind enough to drop this video story about Gary Roberts trade talks into commentorblog:


Hilarious
......................
Music Blog



New Kids on the Block.
We are still waiting for photoshop of new kids on the block.
If time travel could happen, how could you not want to go back in history and blindside one of these douches with a sledge hammer.
This video might need its own post at some point.


And well this video..
Well its the reason why the internet is good and bad.


.........................................
A Winter in the Sun
Game #5
October 18, 2006

Malkin Scores In NHL Debut but PENS LOSE First off, the Devils are a solid team. There's a reason they're picked by more than a few experts to win the Atlantic this year. I'd hate to be a fan of New Jersey, because they're playing style is so boring. But they win games, and that's all that matters. Solid game all around for the Pens tonight. 38 shots on goal...but they ran into one of the best goaltenders to ever play in the NHL.

Malkin's first goal

Crap we said:

• Dominic Moore continuing dominance in nearly all facets of the game.
• Nice play by Mark Eaton to clear that puck sneaking into the net.
• Malkin fired a shot that broke the glass behind Brodeur.
• One powerplay chance in the post-lockout NHL...
• Congrats to Brodeur for 450 career wins.

Commentorblog said:

Message board said:

Shinoix ECHL'er Joined: 31 Jan 2006 Posts: 1565 Location: Thunder Bay

Posted: Wed Oct 18, 2006 10:19 pm Post subject: It's OFFICIAL They sof, they so sof....we literally dress pansies on the bluelines and they all play with eggs in their pants. - Both goals were scored by a lone Devil standing in front of the net with 4 players around him. - John LeClair MUST retire. He's absolutely useless. Unless the puck is on the ice in front of the net where he can just whack away at it, he's USELESS. Did you even see him try to release that shot in the slot? It ended up being a nice pass when he completely fanned on it. He can't take a pass, he can't move the puck in traffic worth crap. He's slow...he has NO NEED OR USE for him on this team. Please John, retire, you're done. - Malkin is going to be awesome. Sure he made some questionable plays, but my god, the kid has literally played on period of pre season NHL hockey and he comes out in his first game looking like this? WOW - Crosby is slumping the last two games, he hasn't been himself one bit. He's not standing out or controlling like he did early and in last season. I'm not worried though. - Whitney and Gonchar are the biggest wimps on the ice. I've never seen a player slow down more and allow a player to catch up to him so he can't be hit more than Gonchar. Hell even Rafalski will go hard into the corner to get to the puck and absorb the hit. Not Gonchar, he'd rather be checked softly and lose the puck rather than win the puck and take a harder hit. ...Whitney is the biggest nightmare from the redline back. He was Gionta's b*tch tonight, he can't make a good decision in our end and he pinched at the worth times causing players to rush down his side with the puck and him caught up ice. I'm sorry, his supposed offense isn't making up for his gaffs and lack of production in our end. Send him down, bring Welch up. I'm really starting to dislike Whitney fast. Oh yeah, can you please hold the puck in a couple times on the point? - Fleury again played solid, however scaring me a few times. Especially the token late goal that almost happend. (post) - Dan Potash should not have a job in broadcasting. He talks like Kermit the Frog and should literally be a voice for the Muppets. Could you sound anymore nerdy Dan? - The FSN studio between periods is seriously out of the early 80's. WHO STILL USES FAKE BRICK WALLBOARD? Absolutely awful! Whoever is in charge of that should be fired for seeing that everyday and thinking it looks good. - Recchi can't win a battle on the boards nor keep a play alive, however at least he's trying. - Staal played another solid game, however he should have been trying to tie up the player on the last goal along with the 3 other players. Other than that, he made a few great plays to create offense and killed penalties and played a defensive game well again. - We need Orpik back, we need a banger. We need to start being physical again like we were early. It's a joke how soft we are being again. - The PK has been BRILLIANT and I love it. Sure we give up the odd chance, however we did a great job of keeping the puck low in their end, creating a few chances and clearing the puck from our end. Please LeClair, retire, please please please. Do you not watch gametape and see how terrible you really are now? You turn into a big, clumsy oaf when you get the puck near the net. Please swallow your pride and retire.

Wow
....................................

Day 31

Duck and Cover

Reason #123 why the NHL playoffs are great:

Ric Jackman

With Chris Pronger suspended
the Ducks had to dress the immortal Ric Jackman.
One night Jackman is working as a doorman at Tequila Willey's in the strip.
The next he is in the Western Conference finals.
What does Jackman do?
Of course, he scores a huge goal.
It never fails.
The Ducks used the goal, and four others to get past the Red Wings and tie the series at two.

We couldn't get past Ric Jackman scoring a goal

Detroit is a joke

................................
Deliveries

.....Great article in the Globe and Mail about the Staal Brothers (Thanks to Greg N. and Loralei)

......Here is a Q& A with Davey M from the Post Gazette

......The Caps signed their first round draft pick last year,Nicklas Backstrom to a deal...

What a boring link section

...............................
The 2007 Offseason Jobbing tour


Anthony Costa opens for us on a wild night:

What a baby

We decided to play just another gig on the Phony zone.
Little did we know, it would turn into the
13 most out of control minutes on PCNC since Fred Fred Honsberger ate 14 hotdogs in 3 minutes, and then vomited all over himself.
(that never happened, but you could imagine)

Back to the Phoney zone

We were getting ready to go on, when things went insane.
First we had to stave off several attempts from producers who were clearly anticipating another Gary Roberts job.
Unbeknownst to us though, we weren't alone in the jobbing party.
The madness started with a caller "Rusty." He dropped a Howard Stern reference under the radar, shocking Fedko.
Then the very next caller, seemingly the same person as the caller before, drops another Howard Stern reference.
Fedko is reeling.
Then its our turn.
But due to the hilarity of the previous callers we choke because we are laughing.


Fedko goes to the break thinking he has survived.
He thought wrong.
We have been jobbing people since we have been able to talk.
We always leave ourselves with outs.
First up after the break:
"George"
To paraphrase:
"..got to love Steelers draft class this year John.. Timmons is great, Woodley is solid, and What can't you say about Gary Roberts."
Fedko=stunned.

And just as we are feeling good about ourselves, getting ready to turn the TV off.
Fedko takes one more faithful phone call.
"Tiffany"

Tiffany than proceeds to orchestrate one of the greatest prank phone calls of all time.
To paraphase:
"John I heard you talking about Polamalu, if he does leaves, we could always replace him with Gary Roberts."


Picture:John Fedko from 11:45pm to 12am

Any even better, we have the whole thing on tape.
It will be up on youtube this weekend.

Can we pull the unthinkable 5 jobs in 5 days off?
11:35 pm
We'll see
..........................................
Music Blog



Well more like Cartoon blog
Thanks to ol' Jonny V:
30 minutes of 80's cartoons music:



Thanks to Dying Alive for this:
B-52's


And to wrap it all up:
The Doobie Brothers:

......................................
A Pensblog special 87 -part series
A Winter in the Sun
Game #4
October 14,2006

New Orleans has gotten a lot of sympathy from the nation after Katrina. Hopefully, Pittsburgh can get the same treatment after tonight because the Hurricanes urinated all over Mellon Arena on their way to a 5-1 victory.
Malkin is arriving shortly. Carolina is the defending Stanley Cup champs. We had a couple bad bounces tonight. It's early in the season. We're still in excellent shape

Exclusive Pensblog Photo of Armys hit

Crap we said:

• Dominic Moore is everywhere. Killing penalties, working in the corners, making sweet passes, giving Thorburn his gloves and helmet in the penalty box after the fight. And I think I saw Moore at the Banksville Road Arby's last night.
• Ryan Malone is slowly turning into Aleksey Morozov.
• They better let Jordan Staal stay with the Pens this year.
• Penguins explode with 26 shots tonight...but they decided to do it against last year's Conn Smythe winner, Cam Ward. Glad to see someone named Ward is still good.

We were on Moore's nuts

CommentorBlog Said:

Gold

Message Boards Said:
From LGP.com
Poster:
Dickie Dunn

Posted: Sun Oct 15, 2006 10:47 am Post subject:
The crowd was pathetic anyways. 14 grand and some change for the 3rd home game of the year against the defending Stanley Cup champs is terrible. I guess the Sidney Crosby novelty has already worn off for some people.

-This is why message boards are great



...................................................

30 days in the hole

One last shot 'fore we quit it

You have to appreciate Buffalo's effort tonight.

As Mr. Dylan once told us
When you got nothing, you got nothing to lose.
Buffalo came out of the gates flying.
Besides ejaculating , anytime you do something good in nine seconds ,your gold.
Up 1-0 things got better.

Buffalo added two more tallies, and it looked like game five was a realistic possibility.

Hold the phone

Ottawa comes storming back.
But hand it to Ryan Miller, he was just as solid as Baloo in "Talespin"

It is a cheap joke, but commentorblog had us thinking about.
What a great show

Ottawa has some big time chances at the end.
But no dice.

See you in game five, dick
Bet your life on Buffalo.

.........................................
Deliveries

....The Penguins select a firm to create the new arena.

"CON Venue Group and HOK Sport have worked together on a number of projects, including the new Prudential Arena in New Jersey, future home of the New Jersey Devils; the Jobing.com arena in Glendale, Ariz., home of the Phoenix Coyotes."

(thanks Canaan and the couple of other people who sent this in)

Jobing.com arena, how good would life be.


.......Here is youtube video of the Cotton Candy guy...(Thanks to Josh Blasko, who also wanted us to let everyone know Gameday chat will now require you to register)

.......Speaking of Youtube...

Thank you to Joshua McGoun for sending this youtube video of Mario Lemieux "Legends of Hockey"

We know how great Mario was.
But it never gets old

............Pittsburgh is the second friendliest place to drive....If this were October Heatley jokes would commence..( Thanks to Jodie LeMaster for sending this in)


... And if anyone gets a chance to visit, we have added FaceOffFactor.com to our friends list. Very well written stuff, and tons of info over there.

............................

NHL News

........Chris Prongers gets suspended for trying to kill Tomas Holmstrom

Do it

.......The Blackhawks sign Jonathan Toews.. Blackhawks will be in the playoffs next year.

..............
The 2007 Offseason Jobbing Tour


We got wind of this website:
Big Ben News

Big Ben cracks up after telling a joke.
The punchline:
His 2006 season

And while we hate to job fellow bloggers who work hard.
Come on.
Who runs a website only focusing on another man?
So we decided to make our own website dedicated to a Steeler:

Big Batch News
Here is little bit of the first and only post on it. It is day in the life of Charlie Batch.

• 11:04 AM -- Woke up. Heated up a Taco Bell CrunchWrap Supreme for breakfast.
• 11:05 -- Ate the Taco Bell CrunchWrap Supreme.
• 11:15 -- Played a game of Madden. Traded himself to a real team and won the Super Bowl twice. He simulated the two seasons. Record: 32-0.
  
• 12:15 PM -- Met Gary Roberts and Mark Eaton for lunch at Arby's.
  
• 12:24 -- Threw a touchdown pass to Andre Hastings.
• 12:34 -- Banged Andre Hasting's wife.

Click here to read the rest

And what would the jobbing tour be without another prank of John Fedko:

Tonight we mentioned that the Pirates had an opportunity to sign Gary Roberts in the offseason instead of wasting money on Tony Armas Jr.
Fedko wasn't real happy.
....................................
Music Blog

Another new off season feature is going to be music blog.
Every night we will post two or three of some awful music videos of songs we all know.
You can email them or just leave the links in commentorblog.

We were in the mood for some cheesy 80's stuff
Robert Palmer-Simply Irresistible
Gold


Robert Palmer- Addicted to Love
Basically the same music video
annoying song


...................
A Winter in the Sun

Game #3
October 12, 2006

Take LeTang to LeMoon. PENS WIN.
With a minute left, Jagr goes to the box for hooking. Overtime was already dancing in our heads as we watched the Pens powerplay set up and break down. We see Recchi on the half-boards with ten seconds left, playing with himself. 7 seconds...5 seconds...he passes it to Crosby who, Lemieuxly, just gets it to the net. It hits Aaron Ward's skate and goes in. Game.

Crap we said:

• Ryan Whitney better stop turning the puck over. We counted 5 giveaways tonight.
• Fleury should stop handling the puck behind the net.
• Mark Eaton...incredible again...

Miscellaneous:

• Kris Letang scored a sick top shelf goal
• Really fun game to watch
  

CommentorBlog Said:

First ever comment in commentorblog.
Dan Potash is money in the bank though

Message Boards Said:
Yeltzen from lgp.com:
"You guys need to face the facts. The Pens are not going to burn their first year of eligibility to play on the 4th line/3rd D pairing. I know we're all giddy after they both scored their first goals, but a full year towards free agency just isn't worth it this year."
.......................................

29 days gone

Darkwing Duck

When you start a blog you only hope one day the chance to make a Darkwing Duck reference presents itself.
Underrated show.

If you were expecting a nice little Tuesday night hockey, it was disappointing.
The Red wings completely owned the Ducks.
The second period was meltdown city for Duck nation.
Already up 2-0, the Wings scored two more quick goals.
Anaheim had no clue what was even going on.
Tomas Holmstrom basically took over the game.
But he paid for it.

Holmstrom was on the wrong end of a check by Chris Pronger, and Sylar from Heroes. Leaving him with a gash across the forehead.

The cheap shot didn't effect Detroit.
It was a good performance.

Some would say.
It was the most solid performance
since Dermonitti Dawson's 1995 season.

For some reason looking back on the Steelers of the mid 90's. They seem a whole lot more likable.
Dirt Dawson was sick.
......................................
On to some other things.

Great piece on Empty Netters about the whole season ticket thing.

"Will that passion be there next season? Will that energy be flowing in the building when Pitt students who spent five hour in January shivering on a curb in their Marc-Andre Fleury jersey are replaced by CEO's from Fox Chapel wearing ascots that show up 10 minutes late and leave 10 minutes early and click away on their BlackBerry's during the game?"

That's what jobbing paragraphs are all about.

If we had to play:

All we would say is that maybe a possible reason for the price hike, is this. The Penguins have so many young players, they figure the more money they make off them now, the more money to pay them later.
But really we only play Devils Advocate so we could pretend to bang that hot chick at the end.

..................................
The 2007 Pensblog Offseason Jobbing tour is rolling.

J-Schiff opened for us tonight...

Gold.

We ourselves played the ol' Fedko Phoney Zone again

We told John that Jim Tracy should of used Gary Roberts in a pinch hit situation in the 7th inning.
He didn't have much to say.
Rumor has it the Phone Zone runs on repeat ( it is a shame someone would want to watch it twice) at 2 or so in the afternoon, but no one knows for sure.

And since we are in the jobbing section.
Did anyone see this?
Some band front man from Black Moth Super Rainbow blasted Pittsburgh in Rolling Stone.
If your band gets mentioned in Rolling Stone, and you decide to job Pittsburgh.

You're a joke
..............................
Let Billy Squier take you home ( thanks to whoever posted this in commentorblog)


...........................
A Winter in the Sun

GAME #2
October 7, 2006
Embarrassing. PENS LOSE.




Actual picture from the second period.

" I think we had two powerplays in the first period and we managed negative one (-1) shots on goal. I don't think that is even possible, but we managed to do it. "

Stupid crap we said:

• Ryan Whitney might not be an ideal fit for the team...meaning he is not too good. He wasn't stellar in the Flyers game, either. He was the root of many fans' groans tonight.
• Dominic Moore is a machine.

Miscellaneous:

• Terrible game only rivaled by the Blues game.
• Donnie Iris sang the national anthem.

CommentorBlog Said:

Nothing

Message Boards Said:

LetsGoPens.com member Shinoix -----

" send Whitney back to WBS and bring up Dupont or something...it's painful watching him right now..... "

.............................

28 days later

Suffragette City

Hey man....

At least the Pens beat the Senators once.

One more game, and not even Buffalo fans can say that.

What a huge disappoint Sabre nation must be feeling.

Right now the Senators are more dominant than Joel Steed in the mid 90's.

Best Nose tackle in the game. If we would had the Internet in 1995 how fun would the "Joel Steed Photoshops been."

The Sens got a 1-0 lead.
Buffalo pooped on themselves.
Number one seed, presidents trophy winners.
It all means jack.

Alfredsson- 9 goals
Pensblog-0
................................
Tons of of junk to deliver

...Bucci thinks the Pens should go after Paul Kariya.. ( Thanks to Jonny V)

Now, if Kariya were willing to go three years at $12 million-$15 million, I think he would be a perfect complement to Crosby in talent and personality. Additionally, this move would cement Kariya's Hall of Fame credentials

...We got this in our email the other day:

Hey, this is Witty from the Islander Mania board. I have written a letter that we at Islander Mania are sending to Charles Wang imploring him to buy out Alexei Yashin. We absolutely need to get as many names on the letter as possible. Many of us have complained for a long time about Alexei being on this team, worse yet ... being the "Captain." I am asking everyone who shares that sentiment to focus their energy into something that may make a difference. If you feel that this is a cause you can rally behind please visit the "Grass Roots Movement" thread at www.islandermania.com.

Back in December we went onto the Islanders message boards to starts some fights. As usual we completely forgot we had the name. But apparently we somehow got included in a mass email. They are organizing a grass roots movement to get the Isles to to release Alexi Yashin. Funny stuff. You have to register to see the thread. Or you can just use our name to go look.

login name: volekismud
password: mario

We don't use it anymore so you can have it.

......Season tickets are up 60% for the Penguins....some people are mad or something.

......................

The Official Penblog Offseason job tour is well into its first month.
We played another show at the Fedko phoney zone tonight .

Needless to say Fedko seemed upset that we asked why the Pirates haven't traded for Gary Roberts yet.


....................

Tonight is also the first night of looking back on the entire season.
Instead of just doing one big season recap,( Empty Netter's recap is better than anything we could job together.)
We are going to take it game-by-game for the next 87 nights.
We are going to pick some of our favorite comments from the recaps. And scan letsgopens.com message boards ( if we can get through the massive egos of some posters) to see what people were saying.

Game 1
October 5,2006

Recap title:
Give Us Some Moore. Pens WIN.

"Marc-Andre Fleury stole the show tonight as the Pens shut out the Flyers 4-0 at the Mellon Arena. His defense was clearing sightlines for him and the Pens, as a whole, were very impressive. The parts that Jarrko Ruutu and Domin(ate)ic Moore played in this game were things that the Pens have been missing."

Stupid crap we said:

• Jordan Staal looks like he'll dominate in the AHL this year
• Jarrko Ruutu is already a fan favorite
• Dominic Moore looks like the best acquisition of the Ray Shero era. What a hockey player.

That is embarrassing

Misc:

Jim Balsillie and the Pens held a press conference to announce his intent to buy the team.

Balsillie, who was on angel dust, came off as wierd.

Thank god we don't have to go back to those Arena times.

What Commentorblog said:
Nothing, no comments.
rough times.

What the message boards were saying:
Poster "Jamie" from lgp.com said it best in the official Game day post:

Posted: Thu Oct 05, 2006 10:23 pm
"Whether the PENS make the p-layoffs or not, this season is going to be an enjoyable one to watch. Faster, stronger, and a little more talent. THE PK is greatly improved. The D still needs work. 40 SOG is not good. MAF showed what his potential is. I think with a full season under his belt, and not the up down crap because of money reasons he can develop into a top notch netminder. I hope this squelches the trade MAF rumors. We are above .500 "

Poster "Ziggystardust" had to find fault somewhere:
Posted: Fri Oct 06, 2006 12:37 am

"Don't care. he was worse than Whitney and Letang tonight.... and that says a lot."
"Gonch couldnt play defense in Junior A"

Good times

...........................
Gold



David Bowie knows it
...........................

Day 27

Finding Niedermayer

When you search "solid big-time performer" in the Google search engine, the first result:

Scott Niedermayer.

[ The second result is the guy who created "Cobra Triangle" for NES. ]


The least-intimidating sea monster ever seen in a JPEG.

Tonight was just another example of Neidermayer's dominatia.

Setting: In HockeyTown. First Overtime.
Ducks trying to steal home ice.


Niedermayer buries a shot, short-side high. Against the Masturbator.

The shot was what playoff hockey is all about.

On a side note. Another tough night for the officials.
Referee Rob Shick called the war room more times than people calling with complaints that their PS3 isn't working.

Picture: Wii, dominating.

The NHL at some point needs to do something about fixing this War Room business.
What can they do?
No idea.

................................

World Championships

Check out Staal and Army.
Good times.
Canada wins its 24th international title.

Russia takes home the copper medal.

Tourney MVP:

Rick Nash


All Tourney team:

Roberts-Nash-Malkin-Morozov


Markov -Nummelin


Lehtonen

Note: Gary Roberts didn't even play in the World Championships. But he was still named to the all tourney team.
Thats how sick he is.
....................................................


9pm est


sick
....................................

Day 26

Sweet Escape

Pop Quiz hotshot.

How are Gwen Stefani, the Ottawa Senators, and the in game entertainment coordinator of music for the Buffalo Sabres connected?
(Well at least to us, but remember we have nothing to do.)

Something we noticed when the Pens were playing the Sens was that the during a lot of the breaks between plays, the homos that run Scotiabank Place music always play "Sweet Escape" by Gwen Stefani.

Flash forward to Saturday night.
Double OT.
Buffalo takes an icing penalty.
The in-game coordinator cues Gwen.
Face-off.
Clean win.
Shot from the point.
Game.

"How can you play a Gwen Stefani song before a face-off in double OT."

.....................................................
Half ass post tonight in honor of Alan Faneca.

The only pancakes he knows of are on the first page of the Denny's Menu.
Dick

If Mike Tomlin had any guts he would strip Faneca of "66" and then bring Gary Roberts in to beat his ass.

...................................
Canada vs Finland for all the marbles
We'd shove our opinion down your throat, but this isn't Letsgopens.com, and since we didn't invent hockey like some of the members there. Whats the point?

Picture: Two Letsgopens.com message board members take a minute to make out with each other after making a great point about something that probably no one cares about.

......................................

Day 25

TGIF

How great did fridays used to be?

Just a sample of some shows that used to dominate friday nights.
Imagine an early fall friday night back then.
Maybe the Penguins had a 7:30 start.
Inbetween Mario Lemieux scoring 3 goals, you get a lesson in family from Danny Tanner on full house. You get some lessons in the struggles of a middle class African American household in Family Matters. You watch Susan Summers in her final years of being hot on Step by Step. And last but not least you get the hysterics of the adventures of Larry and Balki in Perfect Strangers.
It is hard to find a better era of TV.

But those days are gone.
Now we spend our friday nights, trying to job Fedko.

Fedko got the win over us tonight.
Does anyone even know why they call it the fone zone?
How can someone take three callers in 30 minutes?
No question this guy is the worst sportscaster in the business right now.
The last big story he broke was looking down a high school cheerleaders shirt from his helicopter to report her bra size.
Series is 2-1.
See ya Monday John.

...........................................

The Baby Pens gave it their best effort.
But it wasn't to be.
The Hersey Homos win the series with a gut-wrenching 7-6 ot victory.
Apparently the officials fixed the game.
Hershey got two 5-on-3's in the first five minutes of OT.

Fags

.........................................
Speaking of Fags.
Detroit beat Anahiem in game one of the Western conference finals.

With apologies to our good friends at npi-com
Thomas Holmstrom has gotten away with roughly 700 goalie inference penalties in the playoffs.
But nonetheless. The Wings win 2-1. And in the end thats all that matters.
..........................
15 years ago yesterday

..............................
At the World Championships:
The Final Four

Finland vs Russia



Sweden vs Canada
..................................



Day 24

The Butterfly Effect

April 15th

Colby Armstrong murders Patrick Eaves.

April 17th
Oleg Saprykin takes Eaves spot in the lineup.

May 10th

Game One
Eastern Conference Finals.
@Buffalo.
Crowd in a frenzy. Game tied at 2-2. Third period.

Saprykin redirects a puck past Ryan Miller, Sens go up 3-2.
Win 5-2.
Everything is connected.

Buffalo could still win the series.
It is only game one.
But man.
Ottawa just seems like they are on a mission.
Game one was close, but the Senators defense adapted to Buffalo quickly enough to prevent them from getting another goal.
Ryan Miller didn't have his best game, and the Ray Emery did what he had to do.
The Senators blocked more shoots tonight than Tupac's face.

I ain't mad at cha

On a completely unrelated note.
Versus had the "serious player commerical" when player looks into the camera and acts cool.

For example:

We have used that video before, the kids nail it.

To make a long story short.
Versus does this.With Dany Heatley.
Whatever its cool.
But he then he talks.
What does he say?
" The NHL playoffs..blah blah blah.."
OK.
The it happens.
He says:
"Do or Die"--that is versus's little motto.
Just stunning times.
Whoever though that was a good idea is a joke.
If anyone has video footage to confirm this, send it.

............................................

Baby Pens fought off elimination last night.
Series against the Hershey Homos is 3-1, Hershey.
The Pens brought in some muscle though.
Everyones favorite young, right handed defense Kris Letang will be with the Baby Pens tomorrow.
....................................
Courtesy of Empty Netters
Here is the video of Malkin jobbing some Czechs:

...........................
Some quick deliveries

....Oh no everyone. The Rooney's refuse to relent on the casino traffic junk.

"In an interview, he [Rooney] said the Steelers would consider a lawsuit if planners approve the casino master plan without studying the impact on events at Heinz Field."

Don Barden should file a lawsuit against the Steelers to get a better QB.

.......Eklund is still spreading rumors...Pens and Tom Poti? No thanks.

....The Pens made a nice little video for season ticket holders. ( thanks to the peeps in commentorblog for this)

Michel Therrien's refusal to adapt to the pural forms of all words in the English language is what makes us miss the Pens even more.

..........................
If anyone was watching the Fedko Fony Zone tonight.

We pranked him.

"Ken" called in to alert Fedko that their is a pitcher in the minor leagues that could help the Pirates. His name?
Gary Roberts.
Seriously pranking John Fedko can make you feel 10 years younger.
......................................

Day 23

Coverage you can job on... WPXI loses

WPXI has always been plagued by two things:

1. Pittsburghers laziness to scroll all the way up to "12" on the TV.
2. John Fedko

But WPXI is solid. With Iron man David Johnson behind the desk, WPXI has leadership and ability to take its game to a higher level.

...................................

We drop in for the last moments of "Medium" on NBC.

What the hell is even going on in this show.

Who Cares.

...............................

11:00pm sharp
Drop the Camera lens

First stunner of the evening.
Peggy Finnegan pulls a vocal chord in warm ups.

Darieth Chisolm gets the start.
You can almost hear David Johnson's back going out.

David Johnson glares into the camera with eyes of a riverboat gambler.
First story tonight, a gut-wrenching story about a toddler dying.
DJ sends it to Marc Willis:

You know its bad when the station doesn't have your picture up on their website.
But he did look like Forest Whitaker.

Willis makes the best of the story.
He stumbles giving it back to Johnson.
Johnson smirks

The producers of the new cast play the hot hand in Johnson.
Johnson leads us into a story about child pornography.
We go to Tamika Artist in shaler:

If your first two reporters can't even get pictures on your website, what does that say.
WPXI is joke right now.

Artist talks to some upset parents.
The act like they have never heard the word porn before.
Artist sends it back to Johnson.

WPXI is falling apart.

News director John Wang can't bear to watch
And things get worse.

David Johnson's third story already.

Another sex story involving a minor.
Some idiot got a boner online and tried to meet teen, he thought was a 12 or something

Who would of thought Sean Avery would of had that much time, dick

Finally Darieth Jissom gets into the game

She talks about some local politicians that did something.

Something about workers getting suspended five days for wearing t-shits.. no idea whats going on.

We hope Wendy Bell is OK.

Back to the hardest working man in news.

The Sago mine tragedy is explained.
Reason for the accident:

Gary Roberts wasn't there to stop it.

Jissom ends the period with a lackluster story. Where is Peggy Finnagen?

The first segment is out of control.
When they say 11 on 11, they mean it.

After some jobbing.
Weatherman Mike Lapoint pays us a visit.

Underrated.

Lapoint dominates the weather in 4o seconds. Stunning performance.
We finally get to a much needed break

.......

Second segments have been awful for WPXI this season.
And tonight is no different.
Right out of the gate, Rick Walsh takes a too many men at the news desk table penalty.

Rick Walsh =stunned

And then the Teleprompter takes over.
Jissom stumbles.
Goal

3-0

David Johnson takes over.
We get the best story of the night.
Someone created a porn website using Luke Ravenstahl's name.
Hoping that Ravenstahl will want to buy it back to protect his image.
Brilliant idea.

Johnson looks like he has regained the show.
But no dice.

The wrong graphic appears over Johnsons left shoulder for two straight stories.
This can't happen.
DJ and Jissom job till the weather.

Lapoint energizes the WPXI faithful with a solid job.
He might be the happiest guy in the world.
He talks about dew point and predicts it will be 80 tomorrow.
Good times.


DJ chimes in with a little teaser:
Steelers sign running back.

.................................

Right out the gate WPXI tries to hit pay dirt.

BREAKING NEWS
Huge moment.....
Jissom blows it.
Some house is on fire.. who cares?

Back to DJ.
We get the story about people bidding to get Steeler tickets for life or something.
Some homo wasted 21,000 dollars.

Hope he declines the AFC championship tickets.

Then it happens..

Sports time.

Wow John Fedko is actually working tonight.
Fedko is all business. His precious Steelers sign Billy West from Pitt.
Solid player.
Friday is the 125th mini camp of the offseason.

Fedko is a joke.

We get some more footbal. Something between Penn State and Pitt. He changes his voice to sound like Chris Berman.
Johnny majors is still alive..wow.
Fedko sends it to break.


David Johnson comes back to send us home.
Wasted effort tonight

Game.

Stats

• Johnson: 14 stories, 3A... solid overall effort
• Jissom: 12 stumbles.. 2 missed cues. Awful
• Producers: 2 graphic mistakes
• Lapoint: Stole the show. Unreal.

Misc.

• WPXI is missing that go to reporter.
• 11 on 11 is way to much info to retain. Slow it down
• They should trade for Wendy Bell.

...............................................
Since we knew John Fedko was working tonight we figured we recap the train wreck that is Fedko phone zone too.

Is this guy even serious?
Fedko starts by blasting the Pirates after a tough 1-0 loss.
He looks disinterested in being there.

Things turn from weird to just bizarre.
Fedko is either drunk or he doesn't care..
Stunning times.. he calls out the names of Mark Madden, Bob Pomp and all kinds of other people.
Really stunning times. No one is sure if he will come back from break.
But he does.

First up

"John"

This guy is so upset about the pirates... Duffy sucks, everyone sucks.. move Nady to center... change it up..blah blah

The phone call last a stunning 10 minutes.
In between "John" and Fedko rail on the Pirates.
Just good TV.
Has to be the longest sports talk fan call in history.

After the break. We get a caller named Rich.
He accuses the Pirates of censoring John Fedko.
Fedko pats himself on the back.

Third caller.
"Mike" or really us trying to prank Fedko.
But Kudos to the producers to cutting it off.

Fedko tries to make out with a high school cheerleader
That's the show.

What a nightmare.
We miss the Pens.

..............................................

Day 22

A Few Good Announcers

DATELINE

Fox Sports Studio.

Sometime early summer of 2006.
The trial to keep Mike Lange's job.

Col. Steve Tello Jessop, Head of Fox Sports Pittsburgh takes the stand:

Snyder: Did you fire Mike Lange?

Col. Tello: I had a job to do.
Snyder: Did you fire Mike Lange!?
Judge Jake Wheatley: YOU DON'T HAVE TO ANSWER THAT!
Col. Tello: Your God damn right I did.
Son, we live in a world that has broadcasts, and those broadcast have to be guarded by men with suits. Whose gonna do it? You? You, Lt. Junker? I have a greater responsibility than you could possibly fathom.
You weep for Lange, and you curse the Fox sports execs. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know. That Lange's firing, while tragic, probably saved viewers. And my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, makes ratings. You don't want the truth because deep down in places you don't talk about at Jacks Bar in the southside, you want me on that broadcast, you need me on that broadcast.
We use words like ratings, and advertising . We use these words as the backbone of a life spent making quality TV. You use them as a punchline. I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a man who clicks on and off of the very TV that I provide, and then questions the manner in which I televise it. I would rather you just said thank you, and went on your way, Otherwise, I suggest you pick up Nielsen ratings book, and stand toe-to-toe with me. Either way, I don't give a damn what you think you are entitled to.

....................................

Bottom line: Steve Tello is a joke.
Somehow through the miracles of the modern day Internet we came across his phone number:
412-316-3820.
Give him a call.
We'd tell you want to say, but we don't feel like being on the back end of a law suit.
Hell Hath no fury as the Pens fans.
.................................................
Conference Finals


For the first time in a while.
The final four teams in the Stanley Cup playoffs deserve to be there.

That's gold


Game 1
Thursday
@ Buffalo

Overview: This series should be an epic. No question the two best teams in the East.
On one side you have Gary Robert's son Chris Drury.
On the other you have the best line in hockey.

Good as it gets

It should be fun.
The city of Buffalo has to get lucky once right?
Sabres in 7




Game 1
Friday
@Detroit

Overview: First seed vs Second seed. It should be another great series. The Ducks were the runner up last year to the Cinderella Oilers. It just seems like they are destined to go to the finals.
But you can't run Detroit down. They just won two tough series, have home ice.
But sorry Detroit has won enough.
It is a little to close to call, though

This isn't a good example of something that is close, no way its a touchdown

Ducks in six

..........

Quick Delivery time

....Sean Avery...wow..

"I think that's just something you battle through," Avery said. "Those [excuses] are for guys like Sidney [Crosby] and guys that have to keep themselves in the media, saying they weren't hurt or they were hurt. I love when guys are done and say they were hurt or they had the flu."

No Comment

..Kudos to whoever thought this up...

"The Victoria Cup will be competed for on an annual basis beginning September 2008. It will be a three-team competition, two teams from Europe and one from the NHL. The series is the first ever initiative to pit the top teams from North America versus the top teams from Europe."

Apparently the system will be alot like the soccer set-ups they have in Europe.
It should be good times.

................................................
Tonight
11:00pm
Probable Starters:

Bring it
..............................

day 21

Detroit Rock City

When Evgeni Nabokov gave up the late tying goal to Robert Lang in Game four.

He basically sunk the whole world for San Jose.
They never recovered.
Clean off the clubs boys.
Hasek shuts the door, Wings win 2-0.

Evgeni Nabokov = stunned

...............................
If you can believe it, only four teams remain in the hunt for the Cup.

1 vs 4


1vs 2

And quite honestly each conference finals is going to be special.
We'll have our preview tomorrow night, if anyone cares.
We've been mailing it in since we pushed the publish button after Game five in Ottawa.
So expect a lame effort.

Not this lame though.

..................................
Speaking of mailing it in, time for some notes to deliver.

....Mike Lange could be going to Phoenix?

...Maybe Ol' CP will join him...

......Ray Emery.... Car Crash.....no easy.( Thanks to Jay Stempka for the link)

......Nice story in Malkin and Staal

......We suck

.............................................

Solid effort again tonight.
The next two episodes are going to be what big time TV is all about.
...........................................

Wednesday Night
11:00pm

Do or Die newscast.

..............................................................

Day 20

Escape from New York

Your mom loves Kurt Russell

...................

First it was the Islanders. Then it was the Mets.
They walked into Yankee stadium and swept the Yanks.

Yes, sir, the Buffalo Sabres own New York City.
They completed the New York sweep Sunday in dramatic fashion with a 5-4 win over the Rangers.


See you on the links, overachievers.

The win for the Sabres sets up a battle of epic proportions in the Eastern Conference finals.
Two Northeast Division teams divided by an international border.
We will have more in our preview. But this series is going to be insane.
It has more story lines than a Quentin Tarantino movie.

................................................................

Down 3-0
to the Hershey Homos.


Hershey fans celebrated by touching prepubescent males.

Really not a whole hell of a lot going on in big Penguin land.

We missed this from last week:
The FouthPeriod reported that Mr. Roberts is talking to King Shero about a contract.
If Gary Roberts re- signs, and only if he re-signs, Gary Roberts facts will take over this blog.
Even though we already have done Mario Lemieux facts.
John Tarbett emailed us a Gary Roberts fact and it got us thinking about it.

Fact: Gary Roberts once sold his soul to the devil for his good looks and unbelievable hockey skills and conditioning. After the transaction was complete, Roberts proceeded to hammer the Devil with a massive bodycheck and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, admitted that he should seen it coming. He now works out with Gary Roberts every Wednesday.

It most likely would not get old.

It's just good to see this photoshop again.

..........................................................

In other sports news some horse won the Kentucky Derby:


Pittsburghers were surprised when they saw horse #7 not running in the opposite direction chasing down an opponent.


The only touchdown Oakland scored all year.

..................................................

May 9th
11:00pm


When you need one big segment...
Who would you rather have in your number-one anchor chair than David Johnson?

...................................


Monday night
9:00 PM
(If you don't know what this is referring to, your whole life is a joke)

..............................................


Day 19

Cinco de Mayo

Cinco doesn't refer to May 5th.
But rather how many games it took the Senators to defecate on the New Jersey Devils.

Picture: Devils GM Lou Lamoriello pondering over whether or not he's gonna put himself on the hot seat.



The Devils are off to play golf.
Somehow, they will make golf more boring than it already is.

..............................................

HockeyTown is thriving.


That sucks.

The tide of this game changed when goalie Evgeni Nabokov came out of his net to play a puck, and his pass was intercepted by Pavel Datsyuk (insert Ben joke here).

Datsyuk put it into a gaping net to make it 2 - 1 with less than 4:00 left in the second.
Game. 4 - 1 was the final.

.........................................

We shift continents and head to Mother Russia.
Amelia Earhart calls and offers to give us a lift.


Pass.

The US catapults into the quarterfinals with a 3-0 win over the SS.


Achtung bitch.

Swisse beats Denmark 4 - 1.


Goal.

Finland beats Italy.

And in the battle of the formerly united entities, Slovakia beats the Czech Republic 3 - 2.

......................................

Here's the link to a Pens video that Brian John made.
The coolest part is the soundtrack, which is either a remix of the CHiPs theme song or a motivational montage song from a Rocky movie.

.........................................

Spider-man 3 came out this early May weekend.


Gary Roberts about to end this cop's life.

.................................................

"King of Wishful Thinking" by Go West may be the best song written in the '80s.
If you know this song, there's no reason why you don't sing the chorus any time you hear it.

Things that make an appearance in this video:

• Sick choreography
• Los Angeles Kings players, and a sweet hat.
• Elvis
• The Pope
• A gorilla
• Zebras
• The King from Burger King
• Mark Eaton
  

day 18

Good Times

Don't expect a post tonight.






Go Pens


Day16

A Canuck Apart

Check another team and its fans into the offseason resort.

Canucks get beat in OT.

If anyone missed it, at the start of the first overtime.
Former Penguin Dany Sabourin had to start because Roberto Luongo was watching the end of CSI.
Sabourin made five huge saves.
Not enough though.
........................................
We are mud, never forget that.
So basically if you need to go anywhere for info

Go here.
.........................................

Lets do some house cleaning.

.....We have all the playoff brackets, we promise will have all of them posted before the conference finals end.

......Every Wednesday night( with the exception of the heroes finale on May 21) we will be recapping something.

Next week:
May 9, 11:00pm

The hardest working man in news takes the stage.

We are going to recap a few Pirate games, but only with the blessing of our friend
Where have you gone, Andy Van Slyke?

So that means we are going to need photoshops.

J- Schiff owns the world of photoshop.

......If there is one thing we need everyone to do, it is vote for Wendy Bell's Blog.

Vote or Die
Email everyone you know.
Rosie O'Donnell's blog is first place with like 5,000 votes.
Rosie O'Donnell is a scum bag.

Just do it.
..........................

Baby Pens down 1-0
That link takes you to the baby pensblog
The guy who runs it, is money in the bank.
..........

In Moscow

Germany stuns the Czechs 2-0



Team USA returns to form.

Kenny Wu scored 4 third period goals to seal the deal.
........................................


Day 15


...................................................

sick

Save Wendy Bell. Save the World. Cropper = Mud.

For years, WTAE has been bringing up the rear of the Pittsburgh Media market.
Always behind KDKA and WPXI, WTAE made several attempts to try and get back into the news game...

General manager Walt Disney signed Sally Wiggin to a 15-year, $34 million contract in 1994. But Wiggin has never been able to live up to the contract.

Weighed down by Wiggin's contract, WTAE has let superstar after superstar slip through their fingers:

• In 1998, WTAE didn't protect Sonni Abatta in a rule-five draft.
• Station superstar Scott "The Sentence Maker" Baker left via free agency in early 2002.
• And who can forget that, in 1986, they drafted a fresh-faced David Johnson but proceeded to trade him for an AV cable to be named later.
  

But with no news station firmly taking over the ratings, WTAE can still stun the world.
And what better way to start than getting a big time jump in sweeps week.

.........................

We get propelled into the last 10 minutes of Lost.
We staffers don't watch it. That's not to say it's mud.
But why don't the dudes have beards like Tom Hanks in Castaway?

The lens cap drops as the newscast begins.
We Come First, bitches.

Don't go to bed, jobbers. Your life is on the line. Watch our show.
Here, we'll scare you some more so you watch the entire program.

Wendy Bell smiles at the top of the broadcast -- 14 men leave their wives.

Shannon Perrine comes out flying in the early moments of the broadcast.
Traffic that we aren't in (because we're watching your newscast) is a big deal?
What a joke.
Wake me up when Wendy Bell is on again.

Wendy Bell's soothing voice makes the F-5 tornado that dominated Mercer County sound like Mother Goose.

Erin Kienzle is all Hillbillied up to get in tight with the country folk.
Already, this broadcast is killing KDKA's.

Mike Clark dampens the mood by talking about some high school kid ruining his life.

Pizza delivery? Is this news?
Tara Edwards hates her life.

We are teased with the story about the dude who owns 84 Lumber.
He's getting married to a 6-year-old monkey.
This is the 11:00 news. And we're slammed with this meaningless gossip crap.
Huey Lewis, a connoisseur of News in his own right, is not impressed.

Huey Lewis and his News brought it in the '80s.
If you don't have "Back In Time" in your iTunes, you don't have a pulse.

...............................

Joe Greiner is playing with a sprained larynx.
That's how important this newscast is.

WTAE comes back strong from the intermission.
A story about a mummy who is 200 years old.
They tell us everything about the Egyptian boy except for the size of his penis.

Tomorrow at 5:00 PM: Is the mummy a Steeler fan? Shocking revelations say yes.

Our hopes that the mummy comes to life and kills Stephen Cropper are not fulfilled.

If the mummy doesn't do the job, Brendan Fraser will.

.........................................

WTAE comes back after another intermission and sends it to Jim Parsons.

Parsons tells us to stop using the internet.
Is this warning us about identity theft? Or giving jobbers ideas?
Anyone smart enough to do this stuff makes enough money that they don't have to.
But here, common Joe with your hand down your pants: Here's how it's done.
So retarded.
Who would want to steal Jim Parson's identity anyway?

The solution to this wireless-security problem? Surprise: Buy something.

....

And then it happens.
The story that we've been dreading.

Hopefully, your grandma watches the news.
They give your grandma tips to stay alive, but the segment is done within 8 seconds. And why?
Because Big Joke is hanging out with more kids.
Douche.

Stephen Cropper Time.

UH OH.

Greenspan?
Greensboro?
Greenpeace?
Greensburg, dude. You say it every day.

If you were listening closely during that, you heard Wendy Bell pulling a sword from underneath the anchor desk.

Joe Denardo, thoughts?

Stephen Cropper is a farce.

Wendy Bell brings us some Kennywood news. She is so excellent.

Sally Wiggin is the Sidney Crosby of WTAE.
Even when not in the studio, she promotes the station. What a player.
Andrew Stockey was there, too, talking about food or something.

The sports segment is coming after the commercial break.

...............

Jon Burton brings the pain.
He gives away the Pirate highlights before you see them happening.
Terrible.

Manager Jim Tracy is the only reason we would start Piratesblog.

Big Ben talks about mini camp and how he drives motorcycles without a valid license.
Ben throws the broadcast back to Jon Burton, but Rodney Harrison picks it off.

WTAE shows hockey highlights.
Stunned.
Wendy Bell doesn't like the Senators. Now we don't, either.
Wendy Bell says goodbye.
You turn the channel knowing you have to wait till tomorrow to see her again.

.......................

Wendy Bell has a blog.

Don't worry.
We're already nominated her.
Vote for her blog here.
Spread the word.

....................................

Stats

• Steeler allusions: 10
• Stephen Cropper "I'm Sorry": 1
• Wendy Bell smiles: 47
• Mike Clark: Just watching Bell dominate
• WTAE = solid effort
• J-schiff: Denardo Photoshop
  

to be a joke.

Wednesday, May 9.
11:00.

Are David Johnson and Peggy Finnegan phoning in broadcasts, banking on their reputation?
We'll see.

.................................

The Sens go up 3 - 1 on the Devils.


Best picture of all time.

Red Wings and Sharks were in Overtime when we went to press.

...........................


Day 14

The Mystery at MSG

Game Four.

Under a minute to play.
Buffalo down 2 - 1.
Goalie pulled.
Rangers trying to even the series.
MSG is in a frenzy.
Briere wrap-around chance.

Refs go to the War Room in Toronto.......

They are too busy watching the final moments of Toronto vs. New Jersey.


No goal

Wow. Just a stunning situation.
Things started out innocently enough on a rainy Pittsburgh Tuesday night.
Jaromir Jagr continues to carry the Rangers.
In vintage Jagr fashion, he beat Ryan Miller to put the Rangers up 1 - 0.
The second period was a joke.
In the third, Brendan Shannan stunned Sabre Nation by making it 2 - 0.

Shanahan, something is wrong with your face.
He can't hear us. He's too busy still playing hockey this season.

But the Sabres turn it on.
Some guy scores.
2 - 1.
That's when things blow up.
With Madison Square Garden completely insane, the Rangers make two critical mistakes:

Sean Avery shoots for the empty net -- Icing.
Bubby Isbrister tries to dump a puck in -- Icing.

Buffalo wins the faceoff.
Briere with the chance.

The video will be reviewed more times than the Zapruder film in Buffalo.

It looks like a goal, but can anyone be sure?
If we ran Sabresblog, we would already be on our way to New York.

The biggest Game Five of the playoffs:
Friday in Buffalo.
...................................................................

The Awards Finalists got announced today by the powers that be in the NHL


Lady Byng
(sportsmanship and gentlemanly conduct):
Pavel Datsyuk, Red Wings;
Joe Sakic, Avalanche;
Martin St. Louis, Lightning.
Gary Roberts, Pittsburgh


Jack Adams
(outstanding coach):
Lindy Ruff, Sabres;
Michel Therrien, Penguins;
Alain Vigneault, Canucks.
Gary Roberts, Pittsburgh

Calder
(outstanding rookie)

Evgeni Malkin, Penguins;
Jordan Staal, Penguins;
Paul Stastny, Avalanche.
Gary Roberts, Pittsburgh

Hart
(most valuable player to his team):
Martin Brodeur, Devils;
Sidney Crosby, Penguins;
Roberto Luongo, Canucks.
Gary Roberts, Pittsburgh

Lester B Pearson award
(most outstanding player as voted by fellow members of the NHLPA):
Sidney Crosby, Penguins;
Vincent Lecavalier, Lightning;
Roberto Luongo, Canucks.
Gary Roberts, Pittsburgh


Norris
(outstanding defenseman):
Nicklas Lidstrom, Red Wings;
Scott Niedermayer, Ducks;
Chris Pronger, Ducks.
Gary Roberts, Pittsburgh


Selke
(outstanding defensive forward):
Rod Brind'Amour, Hurricanes;
Samuel Pahlsson, Ducks;
Jay Pandolfo, Devils
Gary Roberts, Pittsburgh


Vezina
(outstanding goaltender):
Martin Brodeur, Devils;
Miikka Kiprusoff, Flames;
Henrik Lundqvist, Rangers;
Roberto Luongo, Canucks.
Gary Roberts, Pittsburgh



The Oscar goes to the Devils for best actors in their movie "There's Room For Us in the New NHL."

...............................



This jobber runs some blog for a Hawaii newspaper.
He got votes taken away from him on the Bloggers voting thing...most likely for cheating and running up his vote count.

This had to be mentioned because these are the dog days of summer and we've been jobbing people on the internet since we registered our first instant-messenger screen name.


Stephen Tsai, you're a joke.

................................

Anaheim is the most resilient duck since Howard.

Howard the Duck =money in the bank

Another OT classic in Vancouver.
The Ducks stun Canada with a 3-2 comeback win.


.............................................
Warning. Terribly offensive photo shop time.


The Senators flew through St. Louis the other day.
R.I.P Josh Hancock

Canaan Patragas


.........................................
John Buccigross mentions the Penguins possibly signing Scott Gomez

No thanks
(the Nick)

...................................
Lets fly into Moscow for the World Championships.


Team USA gets stunned by the Czech Republic 5-4

The Bash Brothers were a combined -4 with 12 PIM.
Coach Gordan Bombay was livid after the game refusing to speak with reporters.

In other action.
Russia survives a late surge by the Fins, Russia wins 5-4
Gonch scored a huge goal for Russia.
Ruutu got thrown out in the third for the Fins.

...............................
Tonight
11:00pm

Wendy Bell vs the the world
.................................................

Day 13