Hey Hey, My My

First things first.
We want to send our support to Edmonton Oilers fans in the great Northwest.
Coping with the Ryan Smyth trade.

Remembering how we all felt when Jags got dealt to Washington?
Raise your cups of whatever beverage you drink. It will get better, Edmonton.
Smyth's press conference was gut-wrenching.

Keep on keeping on, Oiler nation.



..................................................................................................

On to Penguins news....
Our buddy at the PittsburghSports Insider got the scoop on the lines.
There's a myriad of possible line combinations, though.

1st Line: Roberts (wearing #10) - Crosby - Recchi
2nd Line: Malone - Malkin - Ouellet ( Ouellet has naked Pics of MT)
3rd Line: Staal - Talbot - Armstrong
4th Line: Laraque - Christensen - (Ruutu, Thorburn, Petrovicky)

If you aren't excited about Laraque tomorrow night, you're nuts.
Here is a quick interview with him via KDKA, thanks to Big Daddy Will for the heads up.
Very impromptu interview.

Laraque will be meeting the Pens in New York.
He had to beat some people up in Phoenix before he left.

..............................................

As far as Roberts goes, a lot of people are not happy about the trade.
Wearing Ron Francis' number?

What a player

We just want to win hockey games, so the jury is still out.
The crack research staff of our Homoblog did a little background on Roberts to get to know him:

Gary Roberts -- HockeyDraftCentral.com
Gary Roberts -- Wikipedia

Does Mario Lemieux have an action figure?

Yeah, probably not.
Does he have two?

Roberts about to kill a midget.

Picture: Gary Roberts owning in 1991-92

.............................

The first and possibly only Gary Roberts look-a-like contest.

The early favorite is Slider from "Top Gun."







For the sake of Photoshops everywhere, Roberts better not score on Thursday.

.......................................................................................

Some other stuff:

...Bob Smizik writes another Pens column. And no Steeler's reference? Stunning...

...SI.com writer Allan Muir ranks winners and losers of the Trade Deadline...

...Mike Prisuta loves the Laraque move.....



One score of interest..

Ottawa now 5 points up on the Pens.


.............................................................................

NEW LINKS

PensFans4Ever

Sportsecyclopedia -- NHL
(sick)


Go Pens

The Devils Own. PENS LOSE.

1 - 0

NHL.COM RECAP

" Sometimes you're flush and sometimes you're bust, and when you're up, it's never as good as it seems, and when you're down, you never think you'll be up again, but life goes on. "

Remember that quote. We're going to need it.

Somehow, lost in all the wheeling and dealing today was the fact that the Pens were playing the Devils tonight.
Maybe it's a good thing it was a lost thought.

If you have been watching Penguins hockey for a while, maybe you had the feeling that tonight just wasn't going to be good times.
Things didn't feel right from the get-go.

The first period was brutal.

The Pens had some solid shifts and were working hard, but it was all for naught.

120 people died of boredom.

Cam Janssen was his normal out-of-control self and he took a penalty.
Let's just say he won't be getting away with this trash any longer.

The Pens did nothing with the power play, and frustration ensued.

Recchi takes a penalty with less than a minute to play in the first.
MAF makes some nice saves. Intermission is on the way.

During the intermission, the Pens break the single-season record of in-game press conferences.

They introduce Gary Roberts, bringing this year's total to 3.

Save this picture for your Gary Roberts photoshops.

The second period started off with the Devils on the power play. Mike Rupp becomes fourth-line Jesus and screens Fleury so Rowengartner can get one past MAF from the point.

If you turned the TV off after that, you didn't miss anything. Seriously.

But for those of you who didn't turn it off, our friend Frustration Frank moved in.
He slept on our couch, kicked our dog, and banged our girlfriend.

The rest of second was a nightmare. Malkin, the only one who looked fresh, hit the post streaking down the left wing.
Brodeur was as solid as ever. He's been motivated ever since his wife left a message for him on the fridge last week.

Towards the end of the period, Homo Scott Gomez took a penalty.
All of a sudden, there was hope for the third.

When playing the Devils, it's hard to tell if your team is not playing well or if they just can't get it going.

" Man we are so awesome "

The Pens came out with some guts in the third, but Brodeur was unbeatable. Gonchar hits the post.
This sucks.
The rest of the way was a little bit of back and forth, but the Devils defense was just suffocating.

Fleury kept the Pens in it, though, making some big saves.

Jay PoopPenis Pandolfo nearly scored 3 goals and must've had 5 or 6 shots. What a joke.
Malkin got called for a hook with 4 minutes left.
Game.

Not so fast.

The Pens killed it off and gained some momentum from the penalty kill.
An Armstrong hit and Talbot laying his life on the line brought some life to the team.

No truth to the rumor that Talbot blocked the shot that could've killed Reagan.
Look at that dude with the gun.

The Pens got the puck in the Devils zone.
Johnny I'll Do Ya took a pentaly.
Huge.
Crowd on their feet, a minute and half to play. Two-man advantage.
This is what legends are made of.
But folks, this is why we hate Marty Brodeur.
Unless this was May of 1999 and German Titov showed up to pass to Jagr, there was no way we were beating Brodeur.

Good times

The Pens get tons of chances.
Brodeur says no.
Time runs out.
Shut-out city.

Stats:

• Your mom

Miscellaneous

• Would Michel Ouellet be a second-line player on any other potential playoff team?
• The Devils bring the worst out in everyone.
• That howling sound over the P.A. late in the third: the ghost of Moore?

The Season starts Thursday.

Get busy living or get busy dying. That's God damn right.

Stunned

" It's so hard to say goodbye. "

Farewell to Dominic Moore.

Losing him today was like when the Apollo 13 astronauts jettisoned their lunar excursion module, Aquarius, prior to re-entry.
You did us extremely well, Dominic Moore. You will be missed.

We won't ask what Shero's rhyme or reason was for it, but it really doesn't matter.
We lost a good hockey player today.

.................................................................................

As rumored Monday night, Gary Roberts is now a Pittsburgh Penguin.
We gave up Noah Welch for him.

We also sent a fourth-round pick to Florida for defenseman Joel Kwiatkowski.
And sent a seventh-round pick to San Jose for minor-league goalie Nolan Schaefer.



And, of course, Dominic Moore to Minnesota for a third-round pick.

...........................................................

But the trade that has given the Pens and Ray Shero a new identity around the NHL is the one that brought Big Georges Laraque from Phoenix.

We give up Italian mafia member Daniel Carcillo and a third-round pick.
LetsGoPens.com people are, uh, were in love with that guy.
Probably a good conversation going on over there.

Georges Laraque breaks the Penguin color barrier.
We're too lazy and time-constrained to go looking for any ex-Penguins that were minorites.
Even if he isn't the first minority to play for the Pens, who cares?
Jackie Robinson was a sick ballplayer.

Jake Wheatley, your thoughts on the trade?


" Represent. Go Pens. Mellon Arena is great. "

.......................................................

If anyone argues with you that someone besides TSN.ca breaks NHL news first, punch them in the ovaries.

Pensblog friend Nick Godfrey knew TSN.ca existed before TSN did.

.......................................

Big NHL Trades
TSN Trade Deadline Page

Most important to Pens Nation:
Ryan Smyth dealt to the Islanders

...Sabres add Dainius Zubrus...
...D-man Aaron Ward to Boston...
...Red Wings get Bertuzzi...
...Mattias Norstrom goes to Dallas...
...Sharks get Billy Guerin...
...Philly gets money-in-the-bank goalie Martin Biron. Remember, he dominated for Buffalo before Ryan Miller took over...

.........................................................

Ray Shero was busier than a 9-year-old male prostitute at The Duquesne Club today.

With the brass of an online poker player, Shero's actions today have resulted in an overcrowded forwards section of the Penguin locker room.

In no particular order and no thought involved:

Recchi-Crosby-Malone
Staal-Malkin-Roberts
Ouellet-Christensen-Armstrong
Ruutu-Talbot-Laraque
Petrovicky-Thorburn-Ekman

You can't crap on Talbot.
Malone.....ehhhhh....maybe if he can tell us ahead of time when he's gonna score a hat trick, then we'll only dress him for those games.
People seem a little too in love with Colby Armstrong, but that is my opinion, and my opinion is shit most of the time.
Bump Christensen to fourth line?
Unreal. No one has any idea what's going on right now.

NOTE: We didn't read the comments in the previous post before posting this. What a great convo in there.

.............................................................


Betsy Ross, get your ass in gear.
You better have Roberts' and Laraque's jerseys sewn up by Thursday.

.............................................................

The smoke from this post has cleared...and a fact remains.
We traded away a face-off man today and didn't get one in return.
But Mike M. points out we basically traded Moore for Laraque. Good trade?

Moore - 51.6%
Crosby - 49.3%
Malkin - 45%
Talbot - 44%

-- Commenter Ellen dominates with face-off stats

Go Pens.
Big Game.
Thorburn getting some action tonight.

In Like A Playoff Team...

17 games in 31 days.
And well just look at those games. Someone might die before March ends.

We are an injury and cold streak away from a 3-12-2 month.

Picture: Sidney Crosby after a loss to Atlanta on March 24th drops the Pens to 10th spot.

We're not assholes.
The Pens schedule in March is the asshole.

It is going to be the longest March ever.

...................................................................

Tons of moves today, and this could only be the start of it. As always, if you don't see it on www.tsn.ca, then don't listen to it.
If you visited letsgopens.com today, you probably thought about killing yourself.
Way too many rumors floating around.
The Pens have been rumored to get everyone.

We do know they have a deal in place for:

Gary Roberts facts coming to a Pensblog near you?

Rumors are flying. Roberts is coming....or is he?
Indecision 2007. Welcome to Penguins hockey.

The post before detailed those awful rumors about Staal going to Chicago. Here's the link from the Chicago Tribune. Unless Marty Havlat is part of that deal, it's not even worth talking about...

Moving on...
Here are the trades we know that have happened.

...The Hawks, Flyers, and Wings have a three-way with the likes of Jason Williams, Kyle Calder, and Lasse Kukkonen...
Philly is stockpiling right now.

...The Islanders get Richard Zednik from Washington for a 2007 second-round draft pick and a copy of "Big Trouble in Little China" on VHS.

Look at that shirt. Sick.
I had a shirt like that in 6th grade.

...Vancouver gets Brent Sopel and Bryan Smolinski. Nice moves...

...The Sharks nabbed Craig Rivet from Montreal for Josh Georges. Montreal is garbage...

...We don't know how this slipped under our radar, but we somehow missed the biggest name dealt at the trading deadline:

Future Considerations = Endicott's mother has to bang Scott Neidermayer's pet emu Rico the next time Dallas visits Anaheim.

....................................................

...Buffalo fans rise to pay Lindy Ruff's fine...

Quick shout-out to Versus.

For once all year they actually gave us some decent games to watch.

Boston's season may be over after the Thrashers squeaked past them.
Montreal hangs on with a huge win over Toronto.

Bring it.

Go Pens

Let's Make A Deal?

If you rely on The Pensblog for up-to-the-minute Penguins news, you are high.

Gary Roberts



Courtesy of TSN.ca

The Florida Panther forward was told by General Manager Jacques Martin this morning after practice that the club had found a trade it deemed acceptable and all that is required to consummate the transaction is Roberts' waiving of his no-trade clause.

Roberts had made it abundantly clear that he would only waive his no-trade clause for two teams - the Toronto Maple Leafs and Ottawa Senators. And sources suggest the deal the Panthers have worked out with Roberts is with the Pittsburgh Penguins.

Pittsburgh has shown the most interest. Sources say the Penguins are prepared to give up a young roster player with potential in exchange for Roberts, who is an unrestricted free agent at the end of this season.

Roberts did not accompany the Panthers' on their flight this afternoon to Washington, but is expected to let the Panthers know later today whether he will waive the no-trade clause to go to Pittsburgh.

Young roster player?

....................................

Anyone know what to make of this rumor coming from the Chicago Tribune?

- Blackhawks defenseman Brent Seabrook could go to the Penguins along with a prospect and a pick for Jordan Staal. (Chicago Tribune)

Bloody Sunday. PENS LOSE

"The Penguins suck more than me right now."

.................................

5 - 1

NHL.COM RECAP

Okay.
Deep breath.

1. No one got hurt
2. They didn't get shut out.

Other than those two things, what a brutal game to watch. It's most likely a good thing we don't remember the last really bad game the Pens played.
But it doesn't make it any easier.

When they talk about this game, they will say the team from Pittsburgh didn't show up. They didn't play with any passion and they were severely out-matched.

Is it a coincidence that a lot of Pittsburgh Pirates were at the game?
Lets just hope the bat that Freddy Sanchez gave Crosby doesn't make it back to Pittsburgh.

Stay away from the Penguins, Freddy.

On to the game...

Things just didn't feel right.
Within the first two minutes of the game, the Pens took a penalty.
Tampa Bay didn't waste any time.
Marty Missouri scored a jobber goal.
1-0.
Some terd named Paul Ranger scored a minute later.
It was 2-0 before you knew what to do.
The rest of period was all Tampa Bay, all the time.

Picture: Arena workers repair the glass while Sid makes sure Thibault doesn't have poop in his pants.

Five minutes into the second period, Fidel Castro somehow gets one past Thibault to make it 3-0.
That was it for Thibault. Fleury stepped in and took over the rest of the game.

On an unrelated note, to any fans of the great Nickelodeon show "Pete and Pete":

Tampa Bay forward Eric Perrin looks like character "Endless Mike"

I hate this guy

Moving on...

The only chances the Pens had of scoring today banked on either Johan Holmqvist dying mid-shot, or the Pens getting a 5-on-3.
The latter rang true.

Gonchar gets the puck at the point and has time to drill an entire pack of squares.
He sets up base camp and rifles a shot that squeaks into the net.

After
that,
the
Pens
had
hope.

If Ouellet or Moore could get a jobber goal, it would be a game again.
But no dice.
Besides the Tampa Bay goal judge being a homer, that was it for the second period.

And, early in the third, any thoughts of the Pens coming back disappeared faster than Edward Norton in The Illusionist.

"That 16-game point streak was just an illusion, dicks."

Brad Richards, the Larry Brown of hockey, scores less than two minutes into the third.
It wasn't over yet, though.
Yeah, it was.

If you heard someone singing after the Richards goal, it was this thing.
Holy shittttt.

The Pens coughed a couple times in the third period, to remind Tampa Bay that they were in fact still playing an NHL game.

The Richards goal sucked the life out of the Pens.

To add insult, Vinny scores on a gorgeous shot with less than 6 minutes left to make it 5-1.

Vinny and Marty rendezvous after a goal to celebrate the new apartment they just bought together.

Tampa Bay shifted into cruise control for the rest of the game, while the Pens were still fumbling with the gears on their 10-speed.

Talbot and Tarnasky fought a couple of times in the third period, and Tarnasky simply made Talbot lose his balance in both fights.

1. No one got hurt.
2. We didn't get shut out.
3. Heroes is on Monday night.

Stats

• Crosby: 1 A
• Malkin: 1 A
• Shots: Tampa Bay: 24 PENS: 18
• Powerplay: Tampa Bay ( 1 for 2 ) PENS ( 1 for 4 )

Miscellaneous

• Tampa Bay sucks.
• Eaton was the closest Pens defenseman to the puck for both goals in the first period....photoshop jinx? Worst defenseman in the NHL? Trade him?
  
• This loss is nothing compared to a heart-breaking loss we'll inevitably encounter later in the year.
  
• In a way, this loss feels good. Just something about it.
• Get ready for the message boards demanding a trade.
• Tampa Bay plays two lines.
  
• The fans down there were really into it.
  

If A Woodchuck Tkachuk Wood

The Thrashers mean business.

Atlanta puts their entire franchise on the back of Keith Tkachuk.
They trade Glen Metropolit and three (potentially four) high draft picks to St. Louis.

They also trade top prospect Braydon Coburn to Philly for Alexei Zhitnik.

.....................................

TSN says Laraque is by no means a guarantee to come here.
Dallas, Vancouver, and Calgary have shown more interest.

..................................

Former Pen Andre Roy was suspended for three games...

[ Post-Gazette ]

He received an automatic three-game suspension for violating Rule 41.4 (Category III), which deals with abuse of an official, at the end of a 6-2 loss to Boston Friday, after complaining about the performance of the referees and feigned a head-butt at one of the officials.

"It's all about the name on the back [of the sweater], and the number," Roy said. "If it's anybody else, maybe a 10-minute misconduct. But it's Andre Roy. We'll suspend him. They just like to [expletive] me.

"This [expletive] league, where's all the emotion? You used to be able to [expletive] let your emotions out, say what you think. ... I spoke, and I faked a head-butt, or something like that. And they [expletive] suspend me.

"I'm very surprised. Very, very, very surprised. But ... [NHL executive] Colin Campbell likes to [expletive] me every time. So [expletive] him."

All three members of the Andre Roy fan club are pumped.

...............................................

...Columbus Blue Jacket Rick Nash is in love with himself...

Go Pens.

Boy Georges and Transatlanticism

Welcome to Laraque

...TSN.ca, whose investigative team is the best in the business, gives us their list of prominently rumored players who may be on the move by Tuesday.

Georges Laraque is not on the list.

...NHL.com, however, tells us the Pens are interested.

...The Post-Gazette says there is no evidence that a trade is imminent.

..............................................
ATLANTIC DIVISION

The Pens are 7 points back of New Jersey.
New Jersey is playing Saturday against Washington.
A New Jersey loss keeps the 7-point margin intact, while the Pens would have two games in-hand over NJD.

Speaking of 7 points, the Pens are 7 ahead of the Islanders.


The Rangers better follow this little dude's lead and buy some life jackets.
They're sinking fast.

But they are no match for the Flyers.


The deepest an entity has been in a hole since Baby Jessica.
Jessica McClure's Wikipedia Page.

.......................................................

...And the Norris Trophy goes to...Sergei Gonchar?

...Hurry up and get over to PittsburghSportsGuys. They are ranking NHL uniforms...

...Congratulations to Tony from The Confluence Blog, who has been appointed as Penguins blogger on Most Valuable Network...

...Funny question posed on a Devils blog ----- Blades of Steel: What Did He Say?!

..............................................


Buffalo coach Lindy Ruff fined $10,000 by the NHL for his part in the scrap on Thursday night against the Ottawa Senators.

SATURDAY NIGHT



7:00

...................

Sean Connery = Ayatollah Khomeini

Third Laraque from the Sun

Okay, seriously, the whole thing with Chris of Pensblog:
We thought it was Chris, and we were trying to weed him out.
But it was actually some random guy who doesn't like us.
Chris was pissed.
So great.
Sorry, again, for the confusion.
I guess just ignore the guy till he makes his own blog.

However, after some investigation, we now know the real identity of the anonymous jobber.

Member of the Duquesne Club since 1954.

The rumor mill is out of control with talk of Big Georges Laraque coming to Steel Town and breaking the Penguins racial barrier.

Seems like the price may be a little high.

First-rounder
for
a
third
line
player?

On one hand, a Laraque-Moore-Ruutu line is a really good line.
On the other hand, who do you bench if you make the trade? Do you need another scorer?
Lots of tough decisions for Ray Shero.

If I had a big black guy watching my back at all times, I'd be gold.

..........................................................

Linda Cohn comes up huge.
"The Penguins are playing to 95 percent capacity at the Mellon Arena. The Mellon might be archaic, but Pittsburgh's die-hard hockey fans know a good thing when they see it, and they're paying to see it right now. Sorry, Kansas City. Keep the Pens in Pitt!"

.......And this from loyal commenter Will...

Does anyone remember this? We don't. Will doesn't. Someone help.

...............................................

Moving on.....

Anson Carter, a guy that has always been rumored to come to Pittsburgh, went to the Hurricanes.

Carter has been passed around the NHL more times than a 12-year-old girl at the Duquesne Club.

..............................................

Lots of fallout from the brawl in Buffalo last night.
#23 Chris Drury is still woozy.

And Jim Carrey is a mess because of it.



..............................................................

One game worth noting in the East. Here comes Boston.
Huge win over...of course, the Lightning.

Updated standings:

Quick Apologies

Apologies to everyone reading the comments in the post below this one.

Friday morning and afternoon, while 75% of the staffers were at their jobs, Pensblog Chris jumped into the comments and took a massive dump on the blog.

"Because I hate you guys" was his excuse.

It was hilarious to us, though.

We're pumped that people came to our defense.
Seriously.

Chris has been suspended from duty for one week.

We don't know how far he's willing to take this.

Go Pens.

T-Bo. T-Bo. Pens WIN.

2 - 1
Overtime

NHL.COM RECAP

When was the last time a Penguins team rode a once-backup goalie to the playoffs?

If Thibault doesn't start against Tampa on Sunday, there's something wrong.
It's safe to say that we can now afford to trade Fleury.
Make it happen, Shero.

What? How can you jump to conclusions that fast?
Welcome to world of the overblown Penguin-goalie carousel.
...........................................................

Games against the Florida Panthers are so enigmatic.
It's like playing the Devils, except that there is actual action taking place throughout the entire game.
It's been like this all year.

This is probably the shortest recap in history.

Yeah, Jordan Staal scored on a deflection goal late in the first period to put the Pens up 1-0.
Big goal.
Bigger than my cat's balls.
(Editor's Note: You reassess your life when you find yourself doing a Google-image search for "feline testicles".)

The second period was the Thibault show.

Save after save after save.
More saves than the Sunday Post-Gazette.

But towards the end of the second, Florida finally capitalized on the one-timer originating from behind the net.
Tied at 1 going into the third.

And don't discount Eddie the Eagle tonight. He was insane; clearly auditioning for a new team.

Hey, Ed, maybe you should've played like this in Game 1 of the 1992 Finals, clown.

Huge third period.
And, well, if you weren't holding your breath every time Florida took a shot in the third, then you aren't built for playoff hockey. T-Bo was money when he had to be.

Showing MAF how it's done.

Everything changed with five minutes left.
The play starts going back and forth, and Crosby gets nabbed with a high-sticking penalty.
The Pens penalty-kill unit comes onto the ice with the game on the line.

Maxime Talbot flops around like a fish, blocking shots.

There was a better chance of the Red Cross in downtown Pittsburgh accepting blood from Magic Johnson than one of Florida's shots getting through during that powerplay.

No Thanks.

The penalty is killed off, then a delay-of-game penalty against Florida puts us on the powerplay towards the end of the third and into overtime.

Gary Roberts was clearly trying to fix the game so that the Pens would trade for him.

It definitely felt like we would capitalize on the 4-on-3.
The only definite thing to say is that the Pens 4-man unit would be the last thing I'd want to see in overtime if I was another team.

The Pens don't capitalize, but never fear.
Soon thereafter, Ryan Whitney springs Colby Armstrong and Maxime Lemieux on a 2-on-1.
Colby glides towards the net with more patience than Cedars-Sinai.

Game.
New Streak Begins.
Pens: 1-0-0 in their last one game(s).

Stats

• Crosby: 1 A
  
• Malkin: 1 A
• Staal: 1 G
• Shots: Florida ( 33 ) PENS ( 41 )
• Powerplay: Florida ( 0 for 4 ) PENS ( 1 for 5 )

Miscellaneous

• Nice camera view tonight...if you were trying to watch the Kennedy assassination.
• The refs really let them play tonight.
  
• Another win in the homestretch.
  
• Malkin was everywhere. Frisky Horse.

................................................................

Here is the Buffalo/Ottawa fight from tonight video ( Thanks Chris)


Speaking of Ottawa...if the playoffs started today, we'd be playing them in the first round.

Bring it.

Edit: If your looking for some great other goalie fights check these out( Thanks Emdubs and Elizabeth):

Zero Chance of Fleurys

Back-to-business time.

Huge story going on with the Pens right now. Marc-Andre Fleury benched against the Panthers.

And, of course, there are always two sides to every argument.
So we asked two famous hockey-goalie debaters to help us out.

Big Bird, appearing on Larry King Live, hates the move:

Bird:

Do I like this move?
No.
Bottom line is this:
Imagine you have a bad day at work. You really like your job and the people you work with. It's all good times.
Then you have a bad day. You screw up. A co-worker overhears you make a racist joke or fart really loud.
Whats the first thing you want to do (other than drink)?
You want to get back going.
Get back on the horse.
That has to be what Fleury feels like.
The position of goalie is arguably the most thankless job in sports.
And we're seeing why right now.

Now, some will say Fleury has been just okay, which is a decent argument.
But the guy has won 29 games.
His GAA is the same as the GPA of anyone who watches Sesame Street -- a steady 2.9.
Fleury has been there when you needed him.
Does he not deserve better?
And, hey, maybe Thibault goes out and has an unreal game against Florida.
But is this really the time to be playing musical goalies?

Thibault does have the respect of his teammates. Colby Armstrong raved about him on his radio show with Mark Madden.

Michel Therrien is gambling big-time here.
It's just another interesting subplot.

............................................


Big Bird, you douche.

Jon Baker:

I, on the other hand, love the move.

Yeah, Fleury's played in 14 of the last 16 games.
They rode him through this huge streak.
He's probably exhausted.

Picture: Fleury, after playing 14 of the last 16 games.

I see no problem in starting Thibault for both games down in Florida.
Give Thibault the reins for, possibly, both huge games in the SunBelt.

Why are we worrying about what Therrien's thinking?
This goalie business makes the top headline on ESPN NHL?
This is no big deal at all.

Just chill out.

This looks like a reward for Fleury. Give Fleury the next few days off.
Big game with the Devils on Tuesday.

Besides, is all of this happening if the Pens lose in OT against the Islanders, instead of regulation?

Moving on.

........................................................................

...From the horse's mouth:

NOTE -- Coach Michel Therrien, through a team spokesman, denied secondhand accounts that he criticized Fleury in the locker room after the Penguins' loss to the Islanders.

Molinari is proven wrong by Therrien and Colby Armstrong, who, on the aforementioned mentioned radio show, also stated Therrien did no such thing to Fleury.
So, I guess that skank who hangs near the players' locker room was wrong after all.

...Chris Thorburn, a solid hockey player, was sent down to Wilkes-Barre for a conditioning assignment.
Did anyone anticipate the problem of having too many players to dress for the Pens?

...Brendan Shanahan placed on injured reserve...

...Erik Cole for the Canes is hurt...

...A USC goalie mooned the crowd and smacked his butt during a game the other day.
--Expect the same thing from Thibault if Mellon Arenaites ever boo him this season.

....................................

We've gotten e-mails, and we will get to them.

There's no time-conscious links that we can't link to in a couple days, if anyone was curious.

Close Encounters Of The New NHL

It was the year 2007.

..........................................................................

March 10th was just like another day at Pittsburgh International Airport.
Until it happened.
As air-traffic controller Jodie Foster was tracking planes across the Pittsburgh-metro area, she saw a new blip on the radar screen screaming towards the earth.
At first, she panicked. 9/11? Flight 427?
You wish.

Meanwhile, in the nearby town of Imperial, 34-year-old Jacob Gaynor was taking a huge crap in his parents' trailer. Out of nowhere, a large rumble outside rattles the trailer and knocks the terd that was hanging from his butt into the toilet.
Jacob wipes and goes outside to check it out.

Nothing could prepare him for what he saw.

The door opens and out comes Relmo ChickenBalls, the alien ambassador to Earth.

Around the same time, Jodie Foster, some local officials, and Marty Griffin from KDKA arrive on the scene.

At 12:34 AM EST, Relmo ChickenBalls delivers the aliens' message to earth via KDKA.
George Birman, once Malkin's translator, is hired by KDKA to be Relmo's translator.

Relmo: Greetings, Earthlings. We come from the planet Dennishopper. As you may or may not know, I am an alien. I have a message for you. We the Aliens have come to announce, in partnership with The Nextel Cup, that we want to wipe all major sports but NASCAR off the face of the earth. We are tired of the MLB, NHL, NFL, NBA, Golf, and Soccer. We feel NASCAR is the greatest sport ever.
However, we offer you this. You will gather Earth's best players in the aforementioned sports and play our squad of alien players. If your team manages to beat ours, that sport will be saved. If they fail, the athletes will die, and so will their sports.
Any questions?

Marty Griffin: Well, Relmo.

Relmo: Identify yourself.

: This is the not-so-real-deal Marty Griffin. I am the greatest journalist ever. What is it that you want us to do?

Relmo: Diiiiiiiieeeeee.

Relmo ChickenBalls then lights KDKA'S Marty Griffin on fire.

RIP

....................................................................

The NFL is informed that they must play the first game.

The game is covered by ESPN and played at Heinz Field.

( By alien request. They said home teams choke there.)

The NFL is cocky and is sure of victory. Combining the Pro-Bowl teams, they look unbeatable.
After knocking Tom Brady, Peyton Manning, Drew Brees, Carson Palmer, and Jeff George out of the game, the NFL was forced to turn to the only quarterback remaining on the roster.
Ben Roethlisberger stops watching the Real World and is forced into action down by 3 in the third quarter.

It was then that the aliens brought out their secret weapon.

He picks off four Roesthlisberger passes, returning two for touchdowns.
The Aliens run out the clock with their brand of smash-mouth football.
E.T. runs for 136 yards and 2 scores.

E.T. Phone End Zone

The NFL never had a chance. A 34-10 defeat signals the end of the once-illustrious NFL.

"This one's for Jfluteryhugtiopertigyfenbexquay."
.............................

Next up on the docket is Major League Baseball.
100-plus years of tradition packed into nine innings at a baseball field in a corn field near Dyersville, Iowa.

The starting pitcher for the aliens was The Alien from the movie "Alien."
Francisco Cordova toed the rubber for planet Earth.

For those of you not there to witness it, words do not do this game justice.
Baseball the way it's supposed to be played.
Very tight game.

Unfortunately for Earth, The Alien from "Aliens" takes a no-hitter into the 8th.

T. Alien: 8 IP, 1 H, 1 ER, 14K, 1 BB

After Albert Pujous hits a 2-run homer in the bottom of the 8th to propel Earth to a 2-1 lead and drive T. Alien from the game, the Aliens rally in the 9th.
Kreplak Cabrera, with runners on second and third and two out, rips a shot into the hole.
A diving Derek Jeter is futile in his attempt to grab it.
Runner at third scores to tie the game.
ALF runs through the third-base coach's stop sign as Barry Bonds winds up to throw home.

He is.......

SAFE!

Cordova leaves the game to a standing ovation as Dan Pleasac comes in to get the last out.
But it didn't matter.

When the 9th inning began, all-star reliever Bob Walk (traded to Dennishopper in 2002 for a Bic razor and a pack of Eclipse gum) was getting loose in the bullpen.
He brings his 424 consecutive-save streak to the mound with him in the bottom of the ninth as "Enter Sandman" plays in the background.
One-two-three inning.
Game.
Sport.

......................................................

As the aliens are gearing up for the NBA team, Earth's lawyers step in.
Due to Micheal Jordan and Bill Murray's stirring triumph over the aliens in Space Jam, the challenge set forth by the aliens is nullified, and NBA is left be. No one cares about the NBA anyway.

....................................................

The aliens next turn their attention to golf.
The Great Gazoo and Tiger Woods play the ultimate Skins game at Southpointe Country Club in Cecil, Pennsylvania.

Gazoo sports the Green Jacket after edging Tiger by 4 strokes.

............................................................

After the Skins game, the aliens fly down to Brazil to play the Brazilian national team in a game of soccer.
The aliens coast to a 6-1 victory.

.............................................................

Relmo: Well, that's it. That's all of them. NASCAR is now dominant.

Hold it one second, there, pal.

Relmo: Oh, we almost forgot. Hockey. Fine. We're flying back to Dennishopper. We will return on the Earth day known as May 25th.

Sprint Center.
Kansas City.
3:00 PM.
Be prepared.

............................................................

The anticipation builds as Earth has less than one month to come up with a starting roster of hockey players.

It is decided:


Lecavalier - Crosby - Havlat
Eaton - Lidstrom


Ovechkin - Malkin - Kovalchuk
Eaton - Neidermayer


Brodeur - Luongo

Head Coach:

Thomas Whitmore

(Marc-Andre Fleury does not make the roster due to the fact he was kidnapped by aliens ten years ago, and that GMs felt that this personal vendetta would be detrimental to the welfare of the team.)

The aliens' GM, Sigourney Weaver, faxed their starting lineups to Earth so that Ice-Time Magazines could be printed:


Marvin - E.T. - Alf
Moonite - Beldar Conehead


Taco That Craps Ice Cream - Edgar - Ack Ack
M. Night Alien - The Great Gazoo


T. Alien

Head Coach:

Jay Caufield trains the NHL players in preparation for the game.

................................................................

GAME DAY

Early on May 25th, as the alien's spaceship was preparing for re-entry, it struck a Sprint Cellphone Satellite in space.

Their ship repairs itself, but the aliens are so pissed that they blow up the Sprint Center.

The game has to be relocated to the SaddleDome in Calgary, Alberta, Canada.

The anticipation begins to swell as the players go to the locker room after warm-ups.

It was here that Head Coach Thomas Whitmore serves up a speech to his nervous players:

" Good Morning.
[ Feedback from Microphone ]
Good Morning.

In less than an hour, hockey players here will join others from around the country.
And you will be playing in the biggest hockey game in the history of Mankind.

Mankind.
That word should have new meaning for all of us today.

We can't be consumed by our petty differences and Conferences anymore.

We will be united in our common interests.

Perhaps it's fate that today is the 25th of May, and you will once again be fighting for your freedom.
Not from tyranny, oppression, or persecution; but from total elimination.

We're fighting for our right to live; to play a Game Seven.

And should we win this game, May 25th will no longer be seen as the day the Pens won their first Cup, but as the day when the NHL declared in one voice, "We will not go quietly into the locker room! We will not vanish without a fight!
We're going to play on!
We're going to survive!
Today, we celebrate our Independence Day and Hockey! "

[ Backup goalie Roberto Luongo throws up all over himself due to this speech and is lost for the game. ]

....................................................................

John Barbaro: Please rise and, gentlemen, remove your hats and welcome to the ice John Mayer for the singing of the Dennishopper National Anthem.

" I don't need Gravity.
It doesn't affect me.
Oh, no, no, gravity.
Doesn't bring me down.
We poop.
We pee.
It goes into space
'cause we got not Gravity.
Dennishopper, we stand on guard for thee. "

[ APPLAUSE ]

Mayer: Thank you. Be sure to buy my John Mayer Trio album on iTunes:

John Barbaro: Please remaining standing for the singing of Star-Spangled Banner and O Canada, as sung by Eddie Money.

Eddie Money

..........................................................................

The puck drops at 3:08, and the most important sports game in history begins.

Right off the opening face-off, the NHLers showed they came to play.
Mark Eaton lays out M. Night Alien when he tries to cross the NHL blue line.
As soon as M. Night's body hits the ice, he melts.

Coach Martha Stewart was furious over M. Night's intolerance to water, and she now had to play the rest of the game with only three defensemen.

The teams felt each other out for most of the first period, with both teams exchanging powerplay opportunities but winding up scoreless after one.

The teams came out for the second period, and everyone expected the pace to pick up.
The NHLers came out flat, however, which eventually led to a one-timer goal from the slot by Ack Ack.

Halfway through the second, Eaton and Beldar Conehead dropped the helmets and each got five minutes for mind-reading.
Eaton gets the two-minute instigator tacked on, and the NHL pays for it.

Off the ensuing face-off, Moonite blisters a one-timer past Martin Brodeur, and the aliens silence a sold-out SaddleDome.

The NHL had a 5-on-3 later in the second period, but they could not cash in.
As the buzzer sounded, signaling the end of the second period, NASCAR merchandise was flying off the shelves.
Rumors of a planned celebration parade on Dennishopper circulated.

The NHLers seemed irritated at their premature burial.
And when they dropped the puck to begin the third period, it was a surly NHL team that rattled the posts behind T. Alien.

25 seconds in, an up-to-now quiet Sidney Crosby splits The Great Gazoo and Beldar and scores a breathtaking goal to inject some life into the SaddleDome faithful.

With 15 minutes left in the third, and every shift meaning do or die, literally, the NHL catches a break.
An goaltender-interference penalty on Marvin the Martian gives the NHLers a chance.

With Neidermayer quarterbacking the powerplay, the NHLers set up.
He passes the puck to Sid, who does a 720-spin and backhands a pass tape-to-tape to Alexander Ovechkin who buries it.
The SaddleDome is in a frenzy.

With 10 minutes left, and the game tied, ALF draws a five-minute high-sticking penalty on Ilya Kovalchuk.
A five-minute powerplay.
It was here among 22,000 screaming SaddleDome fanatics that the NHLers found out who they were.
They stifled the aliens top power-play unit.
Time and again, the play broke down in the neutral zone.
The aliens were being smothered by, of all things, defense.
It was a beautiful harmony of movement.
It was the dance of champions.
After 3 minutes and 45 seconds of powerplay advantage, the aliens had not managed a single shot on goal.
And when a frustrated Taco tripped Martin Havlat, the powerplay was over.

You could feel it in the air.
You knew the NHL was going to take this game.

Until...

With 3:25 seconds remaining in the third, Marvin the Martian scores a back-breaking goal to give the aliens the lead.
But should it had even counted?

A blown offsides call late in the third nearly led to riots.

The play was not reviewable, and all seemed lost.
With 1:20 remaining, the NHL works the puck deep into the zone, and Coach Whitmore signals Brodeur to the bench.
The only player paying attention to jump on as the extra attacker was Mark Eaton.

He sneaks into the zone, into the slot, undetected by the aliens.
With pinpoint precision, Sidney Crosby sets up Mark Eaton for a one-timer that hits the glove of T. Alien and trickles over the goal line.

TIED!
Unbelievable.
Do you believe in miracles?!

Brodeur slides back into net, and the game slips into overtime.

........................................................

Intergalactic rules state that a 15-minute intermission is mandatory before overtime.
Martin Brodeur used this time to have sex with an alien's wife.
He is immediately killed.

Coach Whitmore is notified of this.

We lost Luongo, and now we lost Brodeur?!
DOESN'T ANYONE HAVE ANY GOALIE EQUIPMENT LEFT?!


Marc-Andre Fleury:

SORRY, I'M LATE, MR. PRESIDENT.

KINDA GOT HUNG UP BACK THERE.

Whitmore: GOALIE, DO YOU HAVE YOUR EQUIPMENT?

Fleury: I HAVE IT, AND I AM READY, SIR.

Both teams played not to lose in the overtime period, with minimal scoring opportunities for both teams.

Coach Whitmore seemed preoccupied during the overtime period, talking on his cellphone to an unknown person.

The overtime clock ticked to all zeroes...and it was time for a shootout.

First up for the aliens is E.T.
Fleury is miraculous and robs him.
E.T. had never seen a poke check like that before.

The NHLers sent out Lecavalier as their first shooter.
T. Alien denies him.

Next up for the aliens is ALF.
Fleury stones him.

Sidney Crosby is next for the NHL squad.
Yeah, like he would score in a shootout.

The third shooter the aliens send out is The Great Gazoo.
He dekes Fleury badly but rings it off the pipe.

MULL-KIN! MULL-KIN! MULL-KIN!!

Coach Whitmore decides to use his timeout before Malkin takes his shot.
It's unconventional, but it is allowed in intergalactic rules.

As it turns out, it was a time-buying technique.

Malkin comes down on T. Alien.
One, Two, Three, Triple Deke.
For a split second, the puck just hung there, but when that water bottle plopped onto the ice, the place went beserk.

How did Malkin beat T. Alien????

With a little help from a friend of Coach Whitmore.


I gave the goalie a cold.
I gave it a virus; a computer virus.

..................................................................

In the end, as the NHL is saved, the Aliens are forced back to their planet, stunned.
The Aliens, in total frustration, destroy all Nascar tracks in the South.
150,000 people in North Carolina, Alabama, and Arkansas kill themselves.

During the clean up of Daytona International Raceway, a worker finds a rock that has no earthly business being there. Under the rock is a note:

" Its A Great Day for Hockey."

For Your Consideration

Nothing quite like being 26 seconds away from remaining immortal.
Instead, Marc-Andre Fleury is mud?
Come on.

...Coach Therrien not real happy about Fleury.
We are still convinced that Dave Molinari hates MAF. He took time to job Fleury in his recap of the game.
In Sunday's recap, Molinari made out with Jocelyn Thibault, calling his performance "Brilliant."

Someone probably described the writers of "My Two Dads" as brilliant, too, so it's a sliding scale.

Look at this little bit of Molinari's article:
"People near the Penguins' dressing room immediately after the game reported that Therrien gave Fleury a blistering assessment of his play, and he wasn't much easier on him when speaking with reporters."

Come on, Dave. "People"? Like who? That old lady who has sex with all the Islanders players?

Skank.

Lord Therrien was pissed:

"Fleury was not good," Therrien said. "This is four games in a row that he's given up way too many goals. ... Lately, we give him like four or five or six goals to help us to win games.

"He's got to be better than that. It can happen once in a while. This is four games in a row that I think Marc was ... fair. That's not good enough."

Ouch.
If he was gonna turn on Fleury, he would be starting Thibault.
He's just messing with Fleury.

Besides, has it ever occurred to Therrien that Jean-Claude Van Damme had to put on Fleury's equipment to save the Nassau Coliseum from imminent doom?

Maybe Flower played so bad because this field-hockey goalie stole his pads.

.......................................................................................

Seven shopping days left until the trade deadline. Some jobber at CBC gives us this.
---We'd take Brent Sopel in a minute. Brent Sopel Photoshop Expo on the horizon.

...Some news from the GM meetings...

And if you are still mad about the game, leave it to Jake Wheatley to piss you off even more.

The Trib has a nice little piece on the legacy of the Mellon Arena.

"An opponent is Democratic state Rep. Jake Wheatley, who disagrees with preservationists' view of the arena's historic value. The facility built 49 years ago to house the Civic Light Opera, he says, was a project that left a scar on the Hill District community he represents and calls home."

How do you really feel, Jake?
"For many Hill District residents, the Mellon Arena has been the symbol of the beginning of the end of our community and communal process," Wheatley said.

Pensblog is running against Jake Wheatley in the next election, what a joke.

Maybe?



Go pens

The Islanders Again? PENS LOSE.

6 - 5

NHL.COM RECAP

POST-GAZETTE EMPTY NETTERS RECAP
IT'S A GOOD ONE.


The ghosts of Glenn Healy and the 1993 Islanders were awoken on Monday afternoon.

There's really nothing to say about this game because we didn't see it, because of work stuff.
It is most likely better for everyone that we didn't get to see it.
Because Ted Nolan jokes would've been everywhere.
Although listening to Mike Lange on the radio when the Isles scored was gut-wrenching.

The streak is finally over.
Back in October, if you said that Pens fans would be depressed in mid-February because a 16-game point streak was snapped...

What this streak has done is allow the Pens go through a slump sometime later in the year and still be okay in terms of the playoffs.

Let's face it, everyone. This is only the beginning...
...of the longest month and a half of our lives.

Picture: Adam when he got off work at 3:30.

Crosby had 4 assists.
Recchi had 5 points.
Malone with a hat trick.

..............................................................

The next post down is the final installment of Mark Eaton Photoshops.
(But if you're working on one, by all means, send it.)

We are going to change the date of the posts soon, too, so the pictures don't take up bandwidth on the main page for any dial-up people.

Thank you all for dedicating your time towards these Photoshops.

But the end of the streak must bring change.

Mark Eaton jokes aren't retired, but they are now on the fourth line.

Mark Eaton Expo 2.0

Chris Yarbrough, M.D.


Robert Mangis

Rico Fatastic


Dave P.


Steve Craig

Tyler Lovejoy


Joe Weir


Jason Schiffhauer



Tom Quinn
(Recognized as a Photoshop God in certain regions of the West Indies)

We'll Take It. PENS WIN.

3 - 2

NHL.COM RECAP

How disappointed are Pens fans gonna be when this team finally forgets to show up for a game?

Besides having a heart attack when turning on NBC at 3:25 only to see Tom Lehman chipping from the fringe, today was just a normal game in the playoff homestretch.

The Capitals came out hitting, just like every team is going to do when they play us.
Gotta give them credit; they have given the Pens all they can handle in every game this season. But make no mistake: the Caps are still goons.

And that was proven early when Reyjavik, Iceland, took a penalty for hooking.
Ensuing face off.
Crosby to Gonchar.
Gonchar on net.
Recchi with deflection.
Goal.

Why the Caps didn't make the referees go upstairs to look for a high stick is crazy.

But, alas, no call was made to the War Room in Toronto (TM).

Less than two minutes later after Recchi's goal, Muscat, Oman, would get credit for a goal in front after a shot from the point got through.
There was nothing goalie Jocelyn Thibault could do about it really.
But he did look to the corner and wish he was sitting in his chair.

1-1.
Just like that.

After that goal, Thibault was pretty strong.

Ovechkin did make an appearance to semi-board Christensen. No call.
EC slashes Ovechkin in retaliation. Sin bin.

Photographic proof that Ovechkin did in fact play in the game on Sunday.

The Pens killed that Christensen penalty off and basically the game went back and forth.

Somehow, early in the second period, Mark Eaton gets called for a holding penalty.
The Pens killed it off.
Eaton streaks out of the box as a 2-on-1 with Maxime Talbot develops. Talbot fans on the pass.
He's close to a goal, ladies and gentlemen. You can feel it.

Ten minutes later, Eaton goes to the box again simply to see if he can generate another 2-on-1.
It doesn't work.

It was starting to feel like the Caps were gonna score some weak goal and then score another one a couple minutes later, and that would be it.

Late in the second, though, Malkin steals the puck in the Caps zone and kicks it out to the point. Gonchar gives it back to Malkin deep in the corner, and Malkin scores a unbelieveable goal.

"Malkin fit that in there tighter than a beaner eating tacos."
It doesn't have to make sense.
It's the Carlos Mencia Law of saying beaner and taco in the same sentence.

A 2-1 lead going into the third period was nice, and the Pens called up State Farm early in the third when Max Talbot blisters a one-timer past Kampala, Uganda, to make it 3-1.

Already, you can hear everyone whispering about the Pens not being able to keep a lead.
14-0-2.

The rest of the game was pretty elementary and boring.

With six minutes left, Alexander Semin gets tripped up on a breakaway.
Penalty Shot.

The Mellon stands up to cheer on T-Bo.
Semin head-faked T-Bo before he even touched the puck at center ice, and T-Bo bit on it.
But Semin hit the crossbar and the game remained 3-1.

The Mellon Arena looked like the set of a porno movie today.
Semin was everywhere.

With a little over a minute left, the Caps pull their goalie, trying to shrink the deficit.
And it pays off with 44 seconds left when Semin plinkoes a puck past T-Bo.

There weren't any more close calls the rest of the way, though, and the Pens escape with the 3-2 win.

Stats

• Crosby: 1 A
• Malkin: 1 G
• Gonchar: 2 A
• Shots: Washington ( 31 ) PENS ( 25 )
• Powerplay: Washington ( 0 for 3 ) PENS ( 1 for 3 )

Miscellaneous

• Announcer Mike Emrick actually called Ovechkin "Number 9." Are you kidding?
• Eaton, Scuderi, and Orpik have a bet on who will score first. Scuderi's goal was scored by Ryan Malone, so the bet is still on.
  
• On the final graphic about the Pens 3 young stars, they labeled Jordan Staal with the number 9. Very strange, NBC.
• Alain Who?
• If Thibault can do this every four games or so for the rest of the year, we're playoff-bound.
• The first person to throw the Bellowing Moose post our way was Pamela, and then Mike. NBC talked about it in the broadcast today. Here it is.
  

Islanders Game Tomorrow
1:00 PM
Might have to look elsewhere for a recap.
The links on the left should help.

Mark Eaton Expo

Go to the bathroom before you look at these.

HERE IS THE MARK EATON MOSES WALLPAPER
Courtesy of old friend Jeff Harr

The first picture that came in was from Ryan Patsko, starring Eaton as Jack Bauer.
It doesn't look like it actually is Mark Eaton, but who cares.

Next up is J Karpp

Steve Craig

" Mark Eaton was the inspiration and basis for the character portrayed by Arnold Schwarzenegger in the documentary "Predator". "

Justin gives us three

Chris Yarbrough gives us two

Robert Mangis and his brick wall are a Pensblog staff favorite

Tee Jay's three

Ms. Tippy adds two to the collection

Bradley W. Zimmerman (in PHX)

Dan Redding


Robert Campbell


Jason Schiffhauer

Tyler Lovejoy comes in just under the unofficial deadline

Steve Craig, comes backs again with these 5 Hilarious pics:


The Fonz



Goonies


Half Baked



Spidey

and this one just unreal


wow


And last but not least. Elizabeth checks in with this

No Sympathy For The Devils. PENS WIN.

5 - 4

NHL.COM RECAP

Glad to see the Devils fans came out in droves for this game.

More people came to see my cousin Becky at her piano recital.
Our whole family thinks she has a penis.

Talk about a huge game.
Who didn't expect the Pens to come out flying?

It took a mere three minutes to get a lead.
Jarkko Ruutu continues his dominance of the NHL with a redirection goal.

Two minutes later, Rob Scuderi/Ryan Malone scores from the point to give the Pens a 2-0 lead.

The rest of the period, the Pens spent their time trying to avoid raving lunatic Cam Janssen.

Cam Janssen actually started from New York to take this run at Petro. Look how far this guy is off the ground. That's charging, ass.
But, it's all for not. Petro doesn't feel pain.

The Devils didn't really threaten too much for the entire period.

With time winding down, Staal scores his 24th goal of the year on a great feed by Oscar to make it Eaton - 0.

The second period was fine.
Until Brian Rafalski farts in a shot from the point to get the Devils on the board.
No worries.

Brendan Fraser makes his biggest mistake since Encino Man when he cheap-shots Petrovicky.
Petrovicky stares at him from the ice with Zen-like patience as Crosby and Malkin hop over the boards.

Six seconds later, it's 4-1. Sidney ends his meaningless goal-less streak.
We're 13-0-2....and Crosby had a nine-game goal-less streak during that stretch?
Is anyone complaining?

Two minutes after Crosby's goal, Fleury turns into Andy Moog and gives up a lazy backhand goal to Patrick Elias, and the game was 4-2.

Four minutes later, Moore gets a shot on net, and Ruutu follows up to get his second goal of the game.
It was 5-2.
Time to button down the hatches as the third period began.

Mark Eaton assimilates Sergei Gonchar's body to block a shot in the third.

Was this game in the bag?
Or would yet another Pittsburgh sports team choke in the AFC Championship Game?

It sure looked like it.
Less than three minutes into the third, it got hairy when Zach Parise scores on the powerplay to make it 5-3.

At that point, the Pens weren't generating as many chances as they were earlier.

And with a little over 11 minutes left, Fleury continues to exhibit his morphing capabilities by turning into Tom Barrasso.
He lets Pat Zajak pull a Tom Fitzgerald and bring the Devils to within one goal.

"Jeopardy takes advantage of a cushy time slot."

The Pens go into survivor mode again.

And Jamie Langenbrunner was flopping around like a girl.

The clock dragged for the rest of the third period, and the Devils pulled Brodeur with a little over a minute left.

The last 45 seconds of the game can only be compared to a frantic race through the aisles on the set of Supermarket Sweep.

Save after save was made by the back-to-normal Fleury.
You're watching the action, and out of nowhere, Steigerwald says there's only 11 seconds left.
The puck clears the blue line.

Game.

Stats:

• Crosby: 1 G, 1 A
• Malkin: 1 A
• Ruutu: 2 G
• Melichar: 2 A
  
• Shots: Devils - 31 ------- Pens - 24
• Powerplay: Devils ( 1 for 4 ) Pens ( 1 for 3 )

Miscellaneous

• There's really no reason to knit-pick and talk about the Pens penchant for letting teams get back into games. This team hasn't been used to playing with leads. If they start losing due to this recurring theme, then it is time to discuss. Winning close games like this isn't a bad thing. 13-0-2.
• Did it feel like Staal and Malkin were on the ice for only like 5 minutes tonight?
• Chris Thorburn wants the Pens to lose just so he can get back in the lineup.
• Brodeur almost killed Moore in front of the net. What a joke.
  
• How extensive is the Supermarket Sweep wikipedia page? Damn.
• Eaton was an offensive threat twice tonight. He is scoring a goal soon.
  

EATON PICTURES ARE GOING UP ON SATURDAY FOR SURE.
WAIT TILL YOU SEE THESE.

Mark Eaton Reads The Pensblog

The whole thing about the Post-Gazette's blog was that we sent an e-mail to the writer, telling him about our blog and awaited a reply.

Since the blog was recently started, you got to think the guy checks his e-mail.
But, considering our history with the Post Gazette, maybe our e-mail address is blocked on their servers.

Anyway, we've never really complained that the Pens don't get exposure.
We just make fun of how much attention the Steelers get.

I, personally, like the PG blog.
It's funny.
We want it to succeed and have the whole city whipped up into a Pens frenzy.
It would be good for business.
Oh, wait, we aren't paid to run our blog. Never mind.

We're just interested as to why it's been started right now amidst the hottest streak since Ken Jennings on Jeopardy.
Hence the FairWeather moniker...but if you read the PG blog, you would know that whoever writes it isn't a fairweather fan.
We just liked that picture we used in the post.

We've never said that the blog was a rip-off of ours...
...Our commenters said that, and The Pensblog is mud without our commenters.

Regardless, Mark Eaton is justified in his comments.
We love it.

We just wanted to clear some things up like we're ProActiv.

Go Pens.

The Departed

Huge news coming out of Philly tonight.
Peter Forsberg is going to Nashville
The Flyers get winger Scottie Upshall, defenceman Ryan Parent, and Rufio from hook.

If you didn't tear up when Rufio dies in Hook, you shouldn't even be here.
How did he not win an Oscar?

Philadephia Pensblog Bureau Chief Todd Lewis checked in with this:

Todd's on the left

"As a Flyers fan i know the season is over...its been over, we're playing for a draft pick
Forsberg hurt our chances for a high draft pick, so to see a pro like him get to play for the cup im happy for him.
Losing Forsberg and Iverson in the past 2 months..wow.
Forsberg was the missing piece, he was our savior who would bring us the cup...but his era here ends much like his prior savior Eric Lindros' did
Under a cloud of injury and unfulfilled expectations."

Lewis also reported that a press conference took place between the second and third period tonight, and Forsberg said his goodbyes.
Lewis said that either Sami Kapanen or Mike Richards will wear the C next.

...........................................................................

On to more local news. KDKA reported this about the Arena deal.
Ed Rendell, your thoughts:

"Nothing would give me more pleasure to announce that we have a deal, because
A: it would be great for the region and the Penguin fans, and
B: because then I could finally stop answering questions from all of you about this."

Get it done.

Speaking of the Mellon Arena, the architect who designed it died.
William H. Sippel, Jr. obviously designed it while looking at his wife's boobie.

...............................................................

On the NHL front, The Habs are reeling. Kovy is out for three weeks.
We are sure Guy Carbonneau said something gay...
Oops we are trying to stay away from homophoic stuff, after the Tim Hardway thing.
We aren't sure why everyone is all worked up about it. Its not like we don't read about gay people every day in the Post Gazette.

Zing

......................................................................................

Lots of important games tonight in terms of the Eastern Conference playoff race.
Nothing helped the Pens though. Three games that really hurt:

The Isles refuse to lose...

Mike Sillinger celebrates the fact he is 102 and can still skate

The Rangers stay afloat

Jagr is stunned after his teamates tell him that his girlfriend made out with WPXI's Rick Walsh. Again.

Tampa Bay is rolling

Money in the Bank
.............................................................

Tomorrow's game is so important.
Five points back...
Or Nine points back??

Who wants to make a bet Jay Pandolfo is going to score a goal. He has eight goals all year. Three against the Pens.

It's as good a thing to bet on as any, I guess.
I had my money on Jay Pandolfo.

NHL Is A Battlefield

Announcing:

THE AMAZING OFFICIAL PENSBLOG MARK EATON PHOTOSHOP EXPO

Send your pics to thepensblog@gmail.com

You just submit your photo, and we'll post what we get every day.

.............................................................

...The Post-Gazette asks Edzo what it's like to go to your ex-girlfriend's wedding...

...Speaking of the Post-Gazette, they've recently unveiled their own Penguins Blog called "Empty-Netters".........conveniently during the best streak in recent Penguins memory.

FairWeather Blog?

We have sent an e-mail to the author, extending our good faith.
Hopefully, Bob Smizik Syndrome isn't contagious over there at the Post-Gazette, and the author will actually acknowledge we exist.

..................................................

The Devils are going into Friday night's AFC Championship Game hurting:
(This is what happens when you play an actual National Hockey League game, New Jersey.)

John Madden has stuartscottitis
Colin White has an upper-body injury
Brian Gionta has a groin injury

Other important injuries:
Like a rat abandoning a sinking ship, Kovalev goes down for three weeks with an elbow injury.
Goalie Cristobal Huet left their game Wednesday night with an injury.

Rangers goalie Kevin Weeks placed on injured list.


Blackhawk Martin St. Pierre is out for the rest of the season after challenging Mark Eaton to arm-wrestle after Wednesday's game.

...................................................................................

---ESPN.com sure loves talking about their Ducks. They are a silent 5-11-2 as of late.

---Long-overdue props to Steigy for the moniker "The Ray Shero Line."

---What's this? The media paying attention to red-hot Penguins? NHL.com makes out with MAF...

---Joe Starkey talks about Sid in the Trib. Nice article...

Trade Deadline is on February 27th, 3:00 PM.

And the Preds just aquired Peter Forsberg for a deck of cards from the Flyers.

BlackHawk Down. PENS WIN.

5 - 4
(SHOOTOUT)

NHL.COM RECAP

Coming off a huge win against Toronto, and with a matchup with Devils looming on Friday night, if you didn't think this game had "letdown" written all over it, you're nuts.

You knew it as soon as the game started. The Pens were just flat.

Slow start to the game, as both teams looked like they would rather be banging their girlfriends.
But things picked up midway through the first, and the Pens got a powerplay.
But the Blackhawks' Craig MacDonald scores a shortie and silences Mellon Arena.

Bitches.

Ronald Petrovicky would have nothing of it, however, as he tied it up at one with a nice fourth-line goal.
Gotta love Petro's reaction to scoring. Maybe the worst celebration of a goal ever.
Ronald Petrovicky doesn't smile for anyone.

Nikolai Khabibulin kept the Pens off the board the rest of the first period.

The Bulin Wall hanging tough.

The second period opened up with the same taste of mud. The Blackhawks got a power play, but Max Talbot scored his signature shorthanded goal, as he took advantage of the Hawks playing Martin Halvat on the point.
Sadly, it was the only real mistake Halvat and his mullet made all night.

Definitely the best in the business right now.

You know a good hockey player when you see one, and you have to love Martin Halvat.
To put it into perspective: If we ran Hawksblog, Martin Havlat facts would be everywhere.

Anyway, the Hawks kept taking penalties, but the Bulin Wall was strong.

Until.........

Michel Ouellet electrifies the Mellon.

Huge goal. Pens up 3-1.

The snow is going to melt away.
Spring is around the corner.
Everything is great.
This game is finished.

The Hawks got closer near the end of the second with a jobber goal. 3-2.

In the second period, the Hawks got away with at least three too-many-men-on-the-ice penalties.
J.K. Rowling would call that a foreshadowing.

The third period started, and it just didn't feel right. Too many weird bounces.

Powerplay for the Hawks, and some dude named St. Pierre scores. Tied.
Here we go again.

Crosby was a maniac tonight, but sometimes it just doesn't happen.
He was nuts in the third period.

With about seven minutes left, the Blackhawks take advantage of an egregiously blown too-many-men call, and Tuomo Ruutu scores on a breakaway to make it 4-3 Chicago.

Tuomo, you're grounded.

Pens Nation was nervous. What a great feeling it is knowing that a Pens loss will devastate you for the rest of the night and most of tomorrow.

It's great to have it back.

Before you could readily contemplate the Pens losing, Crosby and Malkin show us why it's gonna be okay to hang our life on their shoulders for the next two months.

Malkin casually pokes it ahead to Crosby.
Crosby goes nuts, and amidst the skirmish, Malkin pokes one home. Tied at 4.

During the following shift, Mellon Arena was about to explode.

The Pens basically put themselves on survivor mode for the rest of the third period.
They were trying to win, but it just looked like Chicago really wanted it.

Mere moments into the overtime, Fleury is called upon to make the most spectacular save of the season.
He robs Havlat right on the doorstep. Words don't do it justice. You'll see it in highlights somewhere this week.

Composite sketch of the suspect who robbed someone in overtime at Mellon Arena tonight.

The overtime period flew by.
And Recchi was getting owned in front of the Chicago net, which was allowed because Crosby blatantly jobbed a Blackhawk earlier in the same shift.

Overtime over...

Christensen comes in on the Bulin Wall and does The Move. Goal.
Havlat comes down and tries the Sid-Montreal move.

Crosby's next. He reminds us why we should send him down to Wilkes Barre.

The next shooter for Chicago was Bryan Smolinski. He comes down on Fleury.

Our fate now lies in the hands of Evgeni Malkin.

Mr. Malkin, Tear Down This Wall.



Game.

Stats

• Crosby: 1 A
• Malkin: 1 G
• Eaton: Built a car in the penalty box that runs on sweat.
• Fleury: 2 years in prison for armed robbery.
• Shots: Chicago (28) Pens (33)
• Powerplay: Chicago (1 for 4) Pens (0 for 5)
  

Miscellaneous

• IS THIS REALLY HAPPENING?
  
• The Blackhawks are going to be good next year. Write it down.
  
• Eaton almost scored in OT. If he did, Pensblog would've shut down.
• How did the refs miss the too many men on the ice call? Weird.
• Max Talbot is money.
• Top line got broken up. We like Malkin and Crosby together, but not every game.
• FSN didn't show Mike Yeo in the third period. That's why we almost lost.
• Huge game Friday night
  

Jarkko! Tuomo! Take Out The Trash!

In the anticipation leading up to the game Wednesday night, we just couldn't resist bringing you the pregame conversation between brothers Jarkko and Tuomo Ruutu...

Jarkko | Tuomo

Jarkko: Hey, retard. Are you playing tonight or are you a scratch?

Tuomo: What? I'm on the second line. I don't get scratched.

Jarkko: Haha. Yeah, I'm going to crush you tonight.

Tuomo: I'm not a little kid anymore. You can't just push me around!

Jarkko: Okay, retard. So I got an email from mom. It had a commercial in it with this retard in it from back home haha. It was pretty gay.

Tuomo: What? Very funny, Jarkko...you're just jealous that I am on TV and you aren't.

Jarkko: Why would I be jealous of a little girl? Oh, by the way, Mom told me to tell you that she can't send your binky to you in Chicago. Her friend's daughter saw it and wanted it, so Mom gave it to her.

Tuomo: WHAT?! DON'T LIE! Did she send it? For real. I've been having trouble sleeping. It's the only thing that helps...

Jarkko: I swear. Thank God you were adopted. I don't know if I could deal with us having the same blood.

Tuomo: [ Crying ]

Jarkko: Oh, here we go again. The little sissy...always crying when things don't go your way.

Tuomo: STOP IT, JARKKO! You know I'm sensitive, and you still push me around. If Mom were here, she would stop you!

(Enter Mom)

Stop crying, you little girl. Good luck tonight, Jarkko. Kick some ass.

Jarkko: Thanks, Mom. See, retard? Nobody likes you.

Tuomo: I can't take this anymore...I don't think I can continue to live in this world....

(Enter Mark Eaton)

What's going on here? And why is he crying?

He's a big baby.

Jarkko: And a retard.

Tuomo: [ Yelling ] NO, I AM NOT!

Whoa, whoa...calm down everyone.

(Looks to Tuomo) What happened? What's the problem?

Tuomo: Well, I was just going to wish Jarkko good luck tonight, and then he started picking on me just like he did when we were kids.

I see. And Jarkko, why is it that you choose to pick on your brother?

Jarkko: Well, it all started when he took a dump and didn't flush.

It's unacceptable. From that point on, I vowed that I would make his life a living hell.

Jarkko, you know that anger is nothing more than an outward expression of hurt, fear, and frustration. You must let go of the feces, and you need to start living your life as a new man.

Jarkko: I don't know if I can do that, Mark.

You have the power within you to forgive, Jarkko. You must search for your answer.
(Turns to Tuomo) And you, Tuomo, what was the reason behind leaving the dump in the commode without flushing?

Tuomo: [ Whimpering ] I-I don't know, Mark. It was stupid. I WISH I WAS NEVER BORN!

That's a very selfish statement, Tuomo. You have the duty and gift of living. You don't have the right to sit on the sidelines--use your life and get back into the game.

Tuomo: But, I just feel so lonely sometimes...

You're only lonely if you're not there for you. You must be strong when adversity strikes. Your family does love you, but the Ruutus do not accept weakness. When you show strength, you can finally be accepted.

Tuomo: I see now. You have shown me the light. Thank you so much, Mark!

Jarkko: Thank you, Mark.

You're welcome...you're all welcome.

[ Mark Eaton gives everyone The Razor's Edge and leaves ]

Wouldn't It Be Ice

...Jocelyn Thibault holds the Penguins' playoff hopes in his hands. He's probably going to start another 5-10 games before the end of the season.
The sooner that Pens fans realize that T-Bo is huge, the easier it will be to warm up to him.
Be nice to him, unlike the Post-Gazette, who can't even use a current picture of him in this article.

...Check out the New NHL Commercial...

...Bob Smizik stops smelling his own farts and writes an article about how the Penguins are a TV-ratings honeypot...

...ESPN.com's Terry Frei writes an article about the Cal Ripken's of the NHL.
Right now, Karlis Skrastins of the Avalanche holds the current record with 468 games and counting.
Frei even finds a way to mention Martin Brodeur and say that Marty should be in the running, even though he sits out for his backup.
The overall Iron Man is Doug Jarvis of the Montreal Canadiens, who played 964 games consecutively.

I watched Bananas in Pajamas 847 days in a row from 1989-1991.
The streak ended on November 12, 1991, when my Uncle Steve dressed up as a Banana and touched me where I pee.

..............................................

NHL SCORES

...Islanders beat the Maple Leafs in a shootout...
Head coach of the Isles Ted Nolan honored his Indian roots by conveying his shootout lineup to the refs via a smoke signal.

Oh, that tricky Ted Nolan

...Boston beats Edmonton 3-0...

..Florida beats the rapidly sinking Habs 1-0...
Guy Carbonneau how does it it feel:
"It's like walking in quicksand. You take one step forward and three steps back"

What a douche.

...Tampa Bay and Carolina both get 2 points...

Lecavalier and St. Louis do their annual Valentine's Gift Swap:

.................................................

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY

Hopefully, you don't pull a Martin Brodeur and cheat on your wife with her sister.

.............................

Be careful driving out there on Wednesday.


Don't be like this guy and flip Mark Eaton off.

The Perfect Storm

Huge winter storm coming through.
All of the joblar radars are tracking the storm.
Everyone be careful tomorrow morning and into the afternoon.

In the old days, Joe Denardo predicted winter storms with a bottle of Jack Daniels, a bucket of KFC, and guts.

Jeff Verszyla couldn't predict his own bowel movements.

Joe Denardo predicted you'd be a loser

.......................................................................................................

NHL trades are starting to go down.

Ladislav Nagy gets traded to the Stars

...If you missed any other trades, TSN has a nice little page...

Tons of goalies in the news.. Olie the goalie.. done for 3 weeks....
Dom Hasek is hurt too.... and well, Ray Emery is just dumb.

........................................

...Maple Leaf Kris Newbury wakes up from his coma...

Official Diagnosis: OWNED

...Buccigross devotes pretty much his entire column to the red-hot Pittsburgh Penguins...

...NHL says they will play a couple of games in London for 2007-08 season...

...NHL.com reports the New York Islanders Tom Poti suffers from severe allergies...

Official Diagnosis:
ALLERGIC TO BEING A FAILURE AT LIFE AND ALLERGIC TO LOOKING LIKE RYAN WHITNEY

.......................................

...Pensblog friend Tom gives us this link to an article from the Kansas City Star regarding the Penguins....

.........................................

The NHL was slower than Anna Nicole Smith's heart tonight.

Official Diagnosis: FAT

Philadelphia crushes Detroit tonight 6-1

It's a sad state of affairs when Nordiques fans out-number your own fans at home games.

.........................................

A Tale Of Two Mullets

..........................................

This is the story of two mullets.

............................................

JAROMIR JAGR


This photo was taken in 1992, a year following Jagr's debut in Pittsburgh.
During his shifts, his mullet would create air turbulence above the Mellon Arena, causing airliners to crash.
By his second season, Pittsburgh International finally picked up on it.


In 1993, he adopted the Chinese look.


In the 1994-95 season, Jagr is starting to show signs of back pain from the weight of his mullet.


In the same year, Jagr stars in a soap opera on Czech Television during the lockout.


1997 was when it started getting a little crazy even by a Mulletseour's standards.
It's illegal in 9 states.


1999 witnessed the end of the mullet, and eventually, the end of Jaromir Jagr's career as a Penguin.

...............................................................

MARIO LEMIEUX


In 1986, the first locks of hair were starting to protrude.


Many NHL historians will argue that the 1987 Canada Cup catapulted Lemieux's career to the next level.
His mullet had two assists in the tournament.


Pictured here at the 1988-89 All-Star Game in Edmonton, the mullet was beginning to subside due to Lemieux's speed ripping his hair from the root.


One year later, Mario dazzles his hometown fans at the 1989-90 All-Star Game, scoring four goals.
His mullet had sex with three Mexicans after the game.


During the 1990-91 season.
He knows what he's got.


Here is Mario at the 1995-96 All-Star Game, with a mullet that kills you if you look at it.


As a player, if you looked over during warm-ups and saw Lemieux looking at you like this with the slicked-back mullet, you knew it was over.


When he returned on December 27, 2000, the mullet was left at home.
He was a business man now.

..................................

OTHER NOTABLE PENGUIN MULLETS



Bob Errey - Phil Bourque - Paul Coffey - Frank Pietrangelo


Luc Robitaille


Jordan Staal - M.I.T.


Sidney Crosby - M.I.T.
.....................


Mark Eaton

Hangover

It only happened once in the 2005-06 season and has only happened once so far in the 2006-07 season.
And both times, it was in Toronto.

The home team wore white.
The away team wore the darks.

Just how it was in the Bible; Book of Job.
...................................................

In case you've been taking a shower for the past 12 hours, or if you somehow don't know that YouTube exists, here is Petrovicky answering some Sidney-Enforcer questions.


..........................................

Ol' Blue Eyes sang it best:

"There's a smile on my face for the whole human race.
Why, it's almost like being in a playoff race."

How money was Frank Sinatra in the 50s.
Just look at him.
................................................

NHL on NBC on Sunday, February 11th.

Just pray that they give us Tampa Bay vs. New Jersey.

12TH ROUND TKO..PENS WIN

6 - 5
(OT)

NHL.COM RECAP

As the old saying goes: If you missed this one, shame on you for six weeks.
Just an incredible hockey game.

Things started out with probably the most pedestrian first period all season. Both teams feeling each other out like it was a blind date.
Midway through the first, the Leafs Bryan McCabe did something stupid and got called for it. He whined about it all the way to the box. Maple Leaf doctors immediately wrote him a prescription.

Nothing really else happened until a late rush up the ice with under a minute to play.
Jordan Staal and Michel Ouellet played a nice little give and go. Staal smoked Andrew Raycroft.
Pens up 1-0.

We have to ask. Where would the Pens be without Jordan Staal at this point?

Things looked ever better in the second period as Staal took a pass from Malkin, and smoked Laura Raycroft. Pens up 2-0.

Minutes later, on the power play, Crosby decides to play for a little bit, makes a sick pass to Malkin. Raycroft had a better chance of making out with his teammates then stopping it.
Pens up 3-0.
But, if you have been around Penguins hockey long enough, you knew it would all change.
And oh did it ever.
It all started when Hal Gil not only gets away with a penalty, but a crime against Cobly Armstrong.

Sorry, didn't you know "New NHL " rules don't exist yet in Canada

It was a complete joke. Gil's little stunt gets the fans all riled up. And of course next time down the ice, the refs call a penalty against the Pens just to jack around Pens fans.

The Leafs waste no time, and job a goal past Flower.
3-1.
No biggie.
Than things started falling apart faster than the David L Lawerence Convention center.
Pens pick up another penalty, Mats Sundin takes a wiz in the crease.
3-2.

Picture: Mats Sundin scores a jobber goal.
Mark Eaton kills Sundin's entire family at intermission. Twice.

Just trying to get out of the period, the Pens make a mistake.
Bates Battaglia nails one home.
3-3.
And you're thinking "here we go again."

The Leafs didn't lose any momentum by showering together during the second intermission. They came out flying,
4-3 just like that.
And it looks like the win streak is done.

Not so fast. Ryan Malone makes a rare appearance, posting up a Leaf, he knocks his own rebound in.
4-4.
All looked fine, until some guy named Boyd got lucky and beat the MAF
Well it was fun while it lasted.

Or.

Max Talbot, who was lights out tonight, bust down the left wing board, waits.. waits.. waits..shoots.. top shelf. Goal
Tied.

Then it gets really fun.
With Talbot's goal not even announced yet,Kris Newbury challenges Ronald Petrovicky to a fight:

Not a good decision

We are giving Petro a free pass, on just about anything for at least a week. What a knockout.That was as close to seeing someone getting murdered as you can get.
No question very similar to "Little Mac"on "Mike Tyson's Punchout"

After they cleaned Newbury's jock off the ice, things got right back into the flow.
Fleury had to make a few huge saves, but you knew where this was going.
Overtime city again.

Lord Therrien used five different line combo's in OT, and everything was going fine. The Refs had to make Leafs fans happy though and called a pentaly on Rob Scuderi.
Well at least we got a point....

Hold the phone.

The following faceoff. Mark Eaton, using mind control techinques, makes Nik Antropov take a pentaly.
3-0n-3 hockey.
As soon as Malkin and Staal stepped on the ice, it was over.
Malkin stole a puck deep in the Pens zone, flew up ice, dropped a pass to Staal. Staal undressed Raycroft. Shortside.
Game.

Stats

• Staal: 3G, first Pens rookie ever to score a hat trick on the road.
  
• Malkin: 1G, 3A
• Talbot: 1G
• Malone:1G
• Crosby: 1A

Miscellaneous

• Staal vs Malkin for rookie of the year?
• 4th line was incredible tonight
• Orpik was scratched due to an illness.
  
• Last loss was a month ago
• Maybe the best celebration all year. Staal got a huge facewash.
• Good times

Maple Leafs Suck.

........................................

BEHIND THE NUMBERS

Since Nils Ekman was lost to injury, the Penguins are 13 - 2 - 2.

Nils Ekman's +/-
(-13)

Worst +/- on the Penguins roster.

.................................................

...Post-Gazette article about the public having the right to buy the Penguins...

...TSN.ca follows ESPN's lead with their own Sidney Crosby Needs An Enforcer business...

...Writer Phil Coffey of NHL.com says Martin Brodeur is getting the MVP this year...

.........................................

Marc-Andre Fleury's play of late is sparking comparisons to another goaltending legend.



..................................

Finally, we mentioned our friend DKroll this week.
And here he is giving SPORTSNET.CA a behind-the-scenes look at the Mellon Arena visitor's locker room.

Don't You Wish Your Hockey Team Was Hot Like Ours...PENS WIN.

5 - 4
SHOOTOUT

NHL.COM RECAP

10-0-2 in our last 12 games.
It is February, and the Pens are tied for fourth in the Eastern Conference.

Read that again.

Was this game even exciting in the first period?

The train to the penalty box in the first period was brought to you by Amtrak.

And somehow, among all those penalties, Jordan Staal scores an even-strength goal to give the Pens a 1-0 lead.

Two minutes after that, Eric Gagne used those magician classes he took over the summer and got a puck past Fleury to tie the game up.
How the hell did that go in?

This kid gets beat up every day.

And then, before the end of the first period, Eric Gagne scores again with a trash goal to give the Flyers a 2-1 lead.

The Pensblog has learned that during the first intermission, coach Michel Therrien showed naked pictures of himself to the team to get them motivated.

In the second period, the Flyers came close a couple times to jumping out to a 3-1 lead.
Fleury is unreal right now.
There is no need to elaborate.

Picture: In aiding Marc-Andre Fleury, Mark Eaton uses the gymnastics skills that landed him the Platinum Medal at the 1988 Olympics in Calgary.
He remains the only Olympic athlete in history to be given the Platinum.
And remains the only athlete to medal in gymnastics at the Winter Olympics.

Speaking of defensemen, we'll be the first to admit that we were Whitney Haters early on in the season.

Seriously, he hadn't done much, and we felt people were looking at his potential and giving him a free pass.
He has become a proven defenseman this year.

His pinpoint three-line pass to Oscar changed the momentum of this game.
Oscar goes in, blows a tire, gets up, and turns Nittymaki into a midget.
Powerplay goal. 2-2.

The only other thing of note was Sidney Crosby's nearly disastrous giveaway that led to a breakaway chance for Philadelphia.
Remember how you used to get worried when the other team had a breakaway?
For the first time in a while, you sat there tonight and just said, "Come on, Fleury."

Oh wait. We're not lettin' Sid off the hook.
He's challenging Food Network's Rachel Ray for most turnovers made in one week.

This brings us to the third period.
The game was tied, but that lasted about as long as the flavor in a stick of Juicy Fruit gum.

You are a joke, Juicy Fruit.

Mark Recchi pops in a goal 34 seconds into the third, and then 30 seconds later, Christensen scores.
4-2 out of nowhere.

Mike Knuble scored to make it 4-3 about 4 minutes later.
Then the game picked up.

End-to-end action.
Fleury coming up big.
But then the Flyers jobbed (the only word to describe that, too) an icing call which led to them pulling their goalie and tying the game up late.

No big deal. The Flyers getting a point is as meaningful as we have no idea.
We go into overtime.

Good chances for both teams in the OT, but no dice.
Fleury again stands on his head.
The OT comes to an end, and it slips into the shootout.

Christensen puts himself on autopilot, and Nitty robs him.
Jeff Carter started for Philly and didn't even get a shot off.

Malkin came in next and hit Big Ben.
Forsberg came down trying to show off for his mom but also hit the post.

Crosby.
Sidney Crosby.
The Next One.
0 for 93 this year in the shootout.
He comes down and beats Nitty.

The Flyers call Eric Gagne in from the bullpen for one last gasp.

No dice.
Fleury robs him.
Game.

Stats

• Malsby: 0 G, 0 A, 0 P
• Staal: 20th goal of the season
• Christensen: 1 G, 1 A
• Whitney: 2 A
• Fleury: 1 A
• Shots: Philadelphia - 33 | PENS - 32
  
• Powerplay: Philadelphia ( 2 for 5 ) PENS ( 1 for 5 )

Miscellaneous

• Mark Eaton's lackluster play is attributed to the death of Anna Nicole Smith.
• Great job by the refs tonight.
• Philly looks so lost. It is great.
• What happens when Melichar gets back?
• Do we ride Fleury until this streak is snapped?

.................................

A new Pensblog feature debuts tonight.
An up-to-the-minute listing of other games that affect the Pens in, gulp, the Playoff race.

DOWN THE STRETCH THEY COME

Three games tonight that ended up huge for the Pens.

Toronto Lost:


So did Montreal:


And the Devils beat the Isles. Remember we want the Islanders to fade away.

Here is where the Eastern Conference stands tonight:

Toronto is going to be in a frenzy on Saturday night.
Go Pens

Midnight in the Garden Of Eaton

Count it.

It's been one week since we've heard any Arena talk.
The.
deal.
is.
getting.
done.
This.
is.
the.
best.
paragraph.
ever.
It's nice not having to read every day about how Jimmy Blowhole from Jimmy's Blog thinks the Pens aren't gonna stay.
Nobody cares about your blog. Nobody cares about our blog.
Go to hell.

So just brace yourself everyone, because when this Arena thing hits, its going to hit big.

"It's gonna be big! BIG!"

......................................................................

In case anyone missed it, Myron Cope with a heartfelt letter to Mario Lemieux.
Very nice of Mr. Cope.
Every little bit helps.

There's been lots of talk of the Pens getting an enforcer out there in Pens Message Board Nation and the Pittsburgh blog world.
Why not pick up that jobber astronaut who drove 900 miles in a diaper to beat up some other astronaut? That's toughness.
You don't think she'd fight for a puck in the corners?
We pride ourselves in not being up to date on anything outside of hockey news, but that's money in the bank.

Fourth line:
Ruutu - Astronaut Bitch - Thorburn

Do the Pens really need an enforcer?

Sure, Crosby and Malkin are going to be harassed some nights, but is it really worth picking up someone and having to lose some young talent?
Unless you bring in Jason Vorhees circa 1985, how can one guy really make that big of a difference?

You know how you get people off of your stars? You put goals on the board when people take penalties against you.
Teams are going to take shots at your stars.
It happens in every sport.

You think that people don't try to kill Tom Brady? Or that no one would bean Derek Jeter in the chops?
You think no one took a shot at Michael Jordan, Larry Bird, Magic Johnson?
That's pre-AIDS Magic Johnson, too. Everyone got the heebeejeebees after the announcement, and no one wanted to lick his sweat anymore.

Sports are tough. If you're the best, someone is going to try to job you. Simple as that.
Protection isn't going to help you.
Did anyone stop Mario Lemieux from getting slashed by Adam Graves?
People still hang on Jagr. There is nothing you can do.

It is not the ref's fault.
It is not the NHL's fault.

Mike Tyson once said:
"Everybody has a game plan until he gets hit."

We don't make a point of living our lives to the tune of Mike Tyson, but that might be the smartest thing he has ever said.

And you have to credit head coach Michel Therrien. We have heard rumblings that Therrien should be more careful on who he plays Crosby against.
Anyone with common sense knows it's pointless to send Crosby out there when the game is well in hand.
But maybe we don't know some things that Crosby and Therrien do.
Crosby might want to be out there.

Maybe some guy is holding his girlfriend's dog ransom in a cellar in Romouski.
This seems to be the likeliest reason why Crosby is out there late in games.

"125-point season, or the bitch gets it."

Crosby's quote from the Islander game when he got speared by Jason Blake:

"The referees were really dogging us out there."

Crosby's desperate cry for help.

..........................................................................................

...Colby Armstrong faces allegations about his mysterious knee injury...

...In that same article, Ray Shero has been named co-GM-ish of Team USA...

...HockeyBuzz.com gives us this article....
--International fans, that article is your chance to see Malkin on SportsBeat.

....Kansas City wants a hockey team, but they can't even handle a Chemical Plant...

...The votes are in for ESPN.com's best lines in NHL history...

...Speaking of ESPN.com, they just can't let the "surging Penguins beat the Preds."
No, we have to "power past the slumping Preds."

Lick my mom's deodorant stick, ESPN.com.
...................................

One game of interest tonight...

Buffalo beats Ottawa 3-2....

We love the Western conference, but every game in the East is so important anymore.
We got no time for the Western Conference.

Big night Thursday. Go Pens.
Big shout out to Will from Astro-Naughty Butler who is going to hook us up with some pictures from Philly.

.......................................
Pensblog's Chris and Gabe got into the Pens locker room Tuesday night and escaped with this:


Yeah, that's Chris on the right.
Good photographers are hard to come by in the Pens locker room.

To Catch A Predator.. PENS WIN

4 - 1

NHL.COM RECAP


Chris Hansen gives the Penguins a pep talk from the Dateline kitchen.

The entire base of Penguins fans is dreaming.
Is this really happening?

Did we just handily beat the number-one team in the NHL?

The Guinos came out firing in the first period.
They were outshooting the Preds 10-2 at one point.
There were skirmishes in front of the net, but it just wasn't bouncing in.

In typical Penguin home-game fashion, Nashville somehow escaped the first period with the lead.
The dreaded shot from the point.
It almost made you forget how big Nashville coach Barry Trotz's head is.

If you sat behind Trotz tonight, do you demand a refund?

Five minutes into the second saw the Pens take over for the rest of the game.
Jordan Staal puts a puck past Chris Mason to tie the game up.

A mere three minutes after that, Crosby winds up for a shot that incapacitates a Predator player.
Before you could figure out who Crosby nailed, Malkin put the puck into an empty net.

The rest of the second period wasn't too much to write home about.
A little semi-fight at the end of the period saw Malkin drop his gloves for the first time this season.
Pens fans gave him a standing ovation as he headed to the locker room.
That second period seemed like the longest period of the season.

Okay, so, the Pens are up 2-1 against the Nashville Predators going into the third period.
Seriously.

Three minutes into the third, Mark Recchi makes a seemingly non-threatening rush into the Nashville zone.
He pulls up and gets a wrister past Chris Mason. 3-1.
Mellon Arena in a frenzy.

Enter Marc-Andre Fleury.
He didn't have to make any miraculous saves, but he simply got the job done tonight.

Jarrko Ruutu calls Paul Kariya a retard and adds an empty-net goal.

Nice.

Stats

• Crosby: 2A
• Staal: 1G
• Malkin: 1G
• Reechi: 1G
• Shots: Nashville - 26 / Pens - 26
• Powerplay: Nashville ( 0 for 4 ) Pens ( 1 for 7 )
  

Miscellaneous

• In the grand aspect of things, this is just another weekday victory during the home stretch.
• Pensblog Chris and Gabe are running a little late tonight. They somehow managed to get down into the locker rooms after the game.
• Nashville is mud.
• This recap is mud.
  
• At this point, Jocelyn Thibault has the easiest job in the world.
• Special thanks to a newly found friend in the student rush line. You know who you are, because we can't remember your name. No one remembers our names, so it's no big deal.
  

Bring on the Flyers

66th Avenue Freeze Out

Today was the coldest day in Pittsburgh since the morning after the AFC Championship loss to the Patriots in January 2005.

Immediately following the loss, Roethlisberger hangs his head while wondering if the Pens will get a new arena.

Hopefully all of the readers are in a warm place during these cold times.

Speaking of which, a special shout-out goes to Pensblog reader Hobo Pete down near that Exxon station by the CVS on Forbes Avenue.

Go Pens

.........................................

Wow, are we sick of Canadien fans and players whining about Sidney Crosby.

Everyone is making such a big deal about it.
Bob Mckenzie makes some good points

Bottom line: Canadien fans are jokes.
Not all of them are, but come on.

"Faker!! Faker!! Faker!!"

Wow, that's embarrassing. I mean who came up with that one?

We heard Maurice Rocket Richard "faked" his sexuality. Yeah, that's right. He was probably a homo.

Picture: Rocket Richard, after some man refused to make out with him.

And it's a shame that we had to do that to the Rocket, but we are sick of the crying.

How about Aaron Downey:

"I can't give away any secrets, but it worked," Downey said. "Agitating is part of my game. I told him that if you're going to be a superstar in this league, you shouldn't be acting like that.

What secrets? Is this guy even serious?

Aaron Downey's Career Stats: 180 GP - 7G - 6 A -
Scouting report: Lacks the required skills to be anything more than a role player at the NHL level. Is not often on the winning side of fights. In high school, was voted most likely to have an awful haircut later in life.

Former classmates - 1
Downey - 0

.............................................................................................

...The Kings traded Sean Avery to the Rangers for Jason Ward..
--There were other players in the deal, but ehhh.

...Chuck Gormley of NHL.com takes us around the Atlantic Division...

...We knew the Detroit Red Wings were good for something. They beat the Rangers 4-3 in regulation.

.............................................................

Student Rush Section of PittsburghPenguins.com:





Picture: Steve Mezinski -- the guy who froze to death last year waiting in the student rush line.

.......................................



Attention FaceBook Junkies

The

"Errey and Steigerwald: Great Announcers or Greatest Announcers Ever?"

Group
is officially open for applicants

...................................

...................................
Have a safe Tuesday.

Here's hoping your car's favorite world leader wasn't the leader of the Soviet Union during World War II.

If you car doesn't start, call Mark Eaton.

Hab-itat for Humanity. PENS LOSE.

4 - 3
OVERTIME

NHL.COM RECAP

Well, the boobsacs over at that DieHockeyDie Blog were denied their wishes to cast Malkin and Crosby in The Lord of the Flies.

The beginning of this game was exactly what we all expected.
The Montreal fans were knocking back their Tim Horton's coffee during their tailgating parties before the game, and it showed.

After stirring renditions of the national anthems, the game got under way.
Both goalies were coming up big early, and then the penalties started coming.

After not capitalizing on our first chance, the boys took advantage of a 5-on-3 halfway through the period when Jordan Staal popped in a goal from in front of the net.

The game had to be held up after the Jordan Staal goal, as the tears from 18,000 Montreal fans temporarily flooded the Bell Centre and surrounding streets.

Going into the second period, everything was fine.
The system was working, and the Pens were knocking on the door.

But Fleury, today, showed his only weakness.
A juicy rebound popped onto Tomas Plekanec's stick in the slot and the game was tied that fast.

Less than 30 seconds after that goal, Michael Ryder gets sent to the box, putting the Pens on the powerplay.
Cue Ryan Whitney.
He makes his Great-Uncle Goober proud with the usual Whitney goal.

Attaboy.

A couple of no-calls against their mighty Canadiens, the caffeine from Timmy H. was starting to wear off, and the fans again flooded the arena with their tears.

Despite some great chances for both teams (including Crosby crapping on himself when looking at a wide-open net), the second period ended with the Pens up 2-1.

At the beginning of the third period, the Montreal fans gave the referrees a standing ovation for "finally" giving the Canadiens a powerplay.
In case anyone forgot, Montreal fans are notorious for sarcastic standing ovations and cheers.

Dicks.

Mark Eaton was called for the hooking penalty.
He built a wrist-watch during his short stint in the box.

Considering the ebb and flow of this game and the fact that we were playing in Montreal, everyone knew Montreal was going to score on this powerplay.
Plekanec strikes again.
Yep. It was tied up before you could name all of the provinces in Canada.

Whatever

We had four minutes to catch our breath before Montreal scored another one.
Picabo Street was the culprit this time, and the boys faced a third-period deficit.

Montreal was hanging on for dear life, and then with about 6 minutes left, Francois Bouillion took a stupid penalty while trying to mess with Bing.
Ironically enough, the big guns weren't responsible for the tying power-play goal.

Instead, it was Whitney setting up Ouellet in front of the net, and it all of a sudden hit Montreal fans that they live in the coldest place on Earth.

Get this point. Get this point.
Keep that zero in the regulation-loss column during this streak.
Good.

It was definitely a toss-em game in the overtime.
The Pens were flying around, and it looked like it could've happened.

You can't really blame Sid for the final play.
He was possessed.
If he pulls that play off, everyone loves him.
Instead, he gives his potential future team some help.

Montreal comes back on a 2-on-1, and Ryan Whitney makes the first poor decision in a month when he doesn't do everything possible to take away the pass.
Souray's there to one-time it into the peanut butter cabinet.
Who get the assist?
Tomas Plekanec.
Game.

Stats

• Crosby: 2 A
• Malkin: 1 A
• Whitney: 1 G, 1 A
• Plekanec: 11 G, 14 A
• Shots: Montreal ( 29 ) Penguins ( 34 )
• Powerplay: Montreal ( 2 for 2 ) Penguins ( 3 for 8 )

Miscellaneous

• 8-0-2
  
• Therrien didn't shorten the bench at all during this game. If a team is going to get to the playoffs and do something when they get there, having four solid lines is a must.
• This section is short because we passed out from the Advertising Bowl PreGame Show.

We get back on the train Tuesday...
Nashville, the number-one team in the NHL, is coming to town.

Cold Weather = Post

If you're continuously going to the bathroom and doing yourself in anticipation of the Montreal game on Sunday, join the club.

There's really nothing we can say about the game that everyone doesn't already know.

.........................................................

Our goal is that when you do a Google Image Search for Mark Eaton, you get more of Mark The Great.
And less of the Sasquatch that played for the Utah Jazz from 1982 - 1993.

Mark Eaton is questionable for the Montreal game.
Driving home from the Caps game, he stopped to save 17 kids from a burning building while eating a bag of Combos.
He received multiple first-degree burns, but he walked it off.

Exclusive Photo: 12/19/06
Picture: Mark Eaton during his last week in the Secret Service protecting the President.

.....................................

Avid fans of the pittsburghpenguins.com website, help us out here.

Pensblog friend Tom noticed today that under the ticket menu, "playoff tickets" is an option.
Has this always been here?

..................................................

Lady Hockey Fans: Geeves over at NSR gave us this link.

Hockey Ladies of Greatness (hlog)

They have ladies for teams from around the NHL posting about their teams.
And guess what...they don't have a Penguin female.
Just a thought for all the Pensblogals.



...................................................................................

Go PENS
Montreal -- 2:00
FSN

Among the Wild Flowers..PENS WIN

2 - 0

NHL.COM RECAP

Marc Andre Fleury's back has to be hurting. Because he is carrying the Pens.
Anyone watching this game most likely shook their head in amazement at the performance of the Flower.

Sick stat from NHL.com:

Fleury has stopped all but 4 of 106 shots in his last three games.

If you were expecting a little bit of an emotional let down, you were right.
Not that the Pens were flat; it was just a natural feeling after all the Montreal stuff.
Needless to say, this game was huge.

The first period was pretty much a non-event.
Both goalies brought the goods, and both teams were trying to figure each other out.

Picture: Chris Thorburn, bored in the first period, tries to use magic to guide the puck to a teammate.

If you were looking for Colby Armstrong, he was held out because of a knee issue. He is day to day.

AO steamrolled Talbot. Not a dirty hit, but Guy Carbonneau would probably want Ovechkin court-martialed.
After the hit, Talbot had to go vomit in the locker room.

Be right back guys

The first period ended with a whimper.
We hope you didn't have the over.

The second period was more of the same, as both defenses could not be solved.

Sherlock Holmes killed himself in front of Washington Plaza after failing to figure out the trap the Pens were using.

The teams traded some more power play chances, but it was a moot point.
Mark Eaton got called for a penalty. He then most likely did something solid when he was in box. What a player.

Ryan Malone was out of his mind killing penalties, probably the most exciting thing all game was watching him do it. Now that's bizarre.

The pace picked up towards the end of the period, with both teams having some decent chances.

Finally, Ronald Petrovicky went coast to coast?
Yeah, that's right.
Petro tore a wrist shot past Olie the goalie to put the Pens up 1-0.
Kind of a weak goal after all the saves he had made, but what else would you expect from Kolzig?

After that, it was all Fleury all the time.
AO didn't have a shot until the third period, and Fleury would have none of it.

Picture: AO -- stunned after seeing his girlfriend making out with WPXI's Rick Walsh in the stands.

The Caps, to their credit, kept coming. But MAF was unbeatable.
Jordan Staal added an empty-netter.
Game.


Stats

• Petrovicky: 1G
• Staal: 1G
• Malkin: 1A
• Crosby: 0G, 0A.. first time Pens have ever won a game that he did not score in. They were previously 0-30-1
  

Miscellaneous

• Great effort by the third and fourth lines
• Crosby vs AO, no goals, no points.
• Can anyone even believe this is happening?
• Seth for you: Pens 12-3 with Eaton
• Shocking stat Pens 16-7-1 with Alain Nasreddine in lineup. Look it up
• Tomorrow game is going to take a lot out of all us.
  
• Montreal lost today, so you know its going to be tough.
  

Hangover

...The Penguins emotional game Thursday night against Montreal was almost the top story in the sports section of the Post-Gazette on Friday.
But, wait, Jeff Hartings retired.

...The arena deal is going to be announced, but Ben Roethlisberger will buy soap at the supermarket that day, and the Post-Gazette won't have room to talk about the new arena.

...As Pittsburgh media has been doing recently, we get brought back down from the Montreal game by this article...

................................................

The only hope shared by Pens fans everywhere is that the boys don't overlook the Capitals in anticipation for that huge game on Sunday.

If you think we're alluding to the Super Bowl, leave the Pensblog and ne'er return.

..............................................

Speaking of Les Habitantes, coach Guy Carbonneau apparently attended The Bob Smizik School of Contradicting Statements: (article)

"I know it was legal, he hit him with his shoulder, but when a guy's battling one-on-one and (another) guy comes from a blind spot and hits him, I don't like that. It should have been called.

It was definitely a cheap shot, I'm not afraid to say it."

"I know it was legal........it should have been called."

Does that make any sense at all? Nope.


Travis Birkenstock from the movie Clueless agrees with Pens Nation

Prepare yourself...
Take a nice, deep breath before scrolling down.

This comes courtesy of this Montreal Canadiens blog.
(link takes you to the post about the Countdown to 2012)

Evidently, everyone in HabsNation is convinced that Bing will bolt for Montreal when he becomes an unrestricted free agent in 2012.

Somewhere, someone is having a heart attack from seeing that jersey.

...................................................

PENS - CAPS
SATURDAY
FSN - 1:00

This is Adam here, and I feel like the biggest jackass for saying it was on NBC.
No excuse for that.
I grounded myself.

Pensblog Prediction:
Penguins will take a 1-0 lead on a goal by Sidney Crosby


Thanks to eMill for this pic.

The Habs and The Hab-Nots. PENS WIN.

5 - 4
SHOOTOUT

NHL.com RECAP

Remember that sick feeling you get when it's the playoffs --
The Pens are in a close game....
You have your vomit bag ready....
Stomach is in knots....?

That feeling made an appearance tonight.
Just an incredible game.

All we know is that games like this, coupled with the Arena situation, might kill us all.
But hey, bring it.

You could tell this game was going to be chippy, as the Habs came out trying to be bad dudes.

Right off the opening face-off, you had to feel that this game was gonna be interesting.
Crosby takes a knob to the face, and his eyes glaze over.

Right off the opening face off, Bing got hit by Maxim Lapierre. And you knew what was up. Montreal is all class. Not.

The first 15 minutes or so consisted of the teams feeling each other out.
A couple of jobber penalties thrown back and forth, but neither team capitalizing.

Michael Ryder takes a hooking penalty that eventually leads to a Pens powerplay.

Gonch blisters a shot and Evgeni Malkin, celebrating his win in court, had a nice little deflection past the Montreal goaltender David Aebischer.
Still not sure why Cristobal Huet didn't get the start.

Oh, wait. We forgot. He was basking in the reverie of his latest LSD trip.

The Pens and Habs were just playing normal hockey in the second until the shot heard 'round the world was fired.
Colby Armstrong comes flying down the wing and levels Saku Koivu; hitting him so hard that Koivu's left testicle was seen flying into section B15.

Sheldon Souray lost all of his faculties and went right after Colby Armstrong.
Colby took it like a man, and Souray ended up getting an instigator penalty, a five-minute major for fighting, a ten-minute misconduct, and a game misconduct.

Oh, sorry, Sheldon. We forgot that we're not allowed to hit your boyfriend.

After coach Guy Carbonneau whined and whined, the Pens were given, essentially, a 7-minute major powerplay.

Guy, your thoughts:

"I understand the seven minutes but I just don't understand why Armstrong didn't get anything. I still think he was charging (Koivu) and then he drops his gloves. Armstrong knew what he was doing and dropped his gloves and didn't get anything."

Some more cheese with the whine, Guy? Dick.

After throwing it around for a while and having the powerplay units cycled, the Pens get handed a gift when Radek Bonk gets an interference penalty.
The Pens go on the 5-on-3.
Sergei Gonchar gets a huge goal with help from big Jordan Staal screening goalie Aebischer.

What happened soon thereafter is a testament to why the whole screaming "shoot" thing while on the powerplay is stupid.
Gonchar succumbed to the fans' requests, and the result was Radek Bonk blocking the shot and skating back up ice into the Penguins' zone.
He beats Fleury straight-up, shorthanded, to make it 2-1.

Sergei Gonchar comes to the rescue a minute later, however.
Another on-the-rush goal propagated by Sidney Crosby puts the Pens up 3-1.
Life made sense again.

Hold the phone, though.

Radek Bonk shows up again before the end of the second period and jobs a goal past MAF.
3-2 going into the third period.

If you weren't on the edge of your seat for the third period and subsequent overtime and shootout, you don't have a pulse.

You half-expected Montreal to tie it up early in the third, but the Pens defense and Mark Eaton held strong.
Then the Pens third line executed one of the prettiest plays you can ask of your third line to pop it back up to a two-goal lead.
The reaction of that line when they scored that goal; how great is that.

Five minutes later, though, in vintage Penguin-home-game style, Montreal crept back in with the always-deflating deflected shot from the point.
Pens were up 4-3 with a little over 5:00 left.

Another two minutes, and our worst fears were realized.
A couple of unfortunate bounces leads to another Montreal goal, and the game was somehow tied at 4.
You got to hand it to Montreal. They came out storming late in that third period.

We head into overtime, and the kind of hockey in the overtime tonight makes you happy to be alive.
A mere 42 seconds in, Saku Koivu starts becoming a cheap hockey player.
The referees aren't calling things anymore. It's sad.
Both Brooks Orpik and Saku Koivu go into the box (we'll take that trade-off any day of the week).
That whole melee with them two brings this hockey game to some 3-on-3 action.
The goal was simply not to give up a goal in that situation. Defense first.

Fleury makes up for a defensive lapse and robs a Canadien right on the door step.
If you saw that play developing before the pass was made, you probably said, "Game."

The Orpik/Koivu penalties are over, and the Gonchar is sent to box with the worst call since God knows when.

The Pens had to weather the Habs' powerplay storm for the rest of the overtime and did so with 17,132 fans cheering every icing of the puck.

Fleury has to make one last save, and the game slips into the shootout.

First up is the Penguins Erik Christensen, who has turned into our go-to shootout specialist.
He buries it.

The FSN camera crew then smacks us in the face with a close-up shot of Kovalev's mullet.
The shootout was tied 1-1 before he even touched the puck.

Three people died and one lady gave birth to her baby 7-months premature after Kovy made this move.

Sidney Crosby is next and is made a fool of.
He could go 0 for his next 90, and Therrien would still put him out there.
Anyone would.

Montreal is up next, and they toss some dude named Higgins onto the ice.
He tries to beat Fleury with a dead-on shot, but it nicks Fleury's and barely missed wide.

The Pens push Malkin onto the ice as their third shooter.
He goes down and cleans up Bing's mess.

All right, MAFer.
Your turn to shine.
Thomas Plekanec comes down and doesn't have a chance.
Game.

Stats

• Crosby: 3 A
• Gonchar: 2 G, 1 A
• Malkin: 1 G, 1 A
• Whitney: 1 A
• Shots: Montreal ( 44 ) Pens ( 33 )
• Powerplay: Montreal ( 0 for 6 ) Pens ( 3 for 6 )

Miscellaneous

• Marc-Andre Fleury is in another world right now.
  
• If you utter the phrase "I'd let Mark Eaton do my girlfriend," we can't blame you.
  
• We have four solid lines. Simply put. No way around it.
• When you don't notice your defensemen on the ice, that is a great thing.
• 7-0-1 in our last eight. WTF?
• The rematch on Sunday is going to be a bloodbath.