Thursday, December 6, 2007

4 - 2

[ Recap ]

Sometime after 11pm on a cold-as-balls Wednesday night,
the Pens score their third goal in five minutes.

That right there.
That's what life is about.



FSN shows Crosby walking in to the building. He looks really cold.

Before we could even get to the game, FSN and Paul Steigerwald compare Kris Letang to Paul Coffey.

Wow. You just knew it could be a long night.



Crosby-Laraque-Malone start it off for the Pens.
Laraque gets announced in his former home. Solid move by Therrien.

The Oilers big line comes out and almost gets one past MAF.
You immediately hate Oilers fans because they were so loud.

Sykora just misses getting one on the board, after an insane setup by Sid.

Early on, the Pens were simply driving the puck into the Oilers' mouth.
Kennedy tried one from the grassy knoll, Letang tried a floating wrister. No dice.

The Oilers got things going with a shot that shouldn't happen unless a team is on a power play.
Robert Nilsson. Cross-ice one-timer. 1-0.


After some jobbing, Rob Scuderi heads to the box.
Edmonton's anemic power play stepped onto the ice.

During the power play, we're shown the stat about the Oilers and their injuries.
And we're reminded that Dick Tarnstrom once led the Penguins in points. [ 2003-04 Stats ]

The Pens killed that penalty off with not too much going on.

As the period wound down, Mark Eaton got his second solid look at the net in the period.
Roloson swallowed it up.

And that was it for the first period.


During the intermission, we get some solid video footage of the outdoor game from back in 2003.
It's gonna be cold.



The second period started with nothing going on.

And then Sidney Crosby takes out his paintbrush. Pens go on the power play.

Crosby's skate almost gets Roloson in the throat.
That would have really been a downer.

For the twentieth time of the game, the Pens set up a slapshot that Roloson stops while taking a crap.

Letang gets a shot off as the power play comes to an end -- another shot that goes straight into Roloson's balls.

It was said that the tickets for Crosby's arrival in Edmonton were going for as much as the Stanley Cup Finals tickets from a few years ago.
Well, halfway through this game, Sid had done nothing to justify any of the hype.
Then again, we're from America. We might be missing the allure of Canadians telling their grandchildren that they saw Crosby play.

And then we were trying to justify the coffee that we drank in order to stay up for this game.



Is anyone else tired of the J.B Robinson Commercial?
Make a new one already.

Imagine the pressure a husband faces when he watches this commercial with his wife 8 times during a game.

Nice fireplace. Dick.
No one knows what "A heritage of trust" even means.


As the second period turned into a big haze, we saw Crosby taking off the mike that someone put on him for the game.

Rob Brown joined the broadcast booth to talk about Mario Lemieux.

And then, one of the most dramatic moments in FSN history unfolded.
Rob Brown was going to re-enact the windmill celebration that caused Ron Hextall to chase after him, but he gets douched in the elbow by the broadcast equipment behind him.

And then FSN shows a replay of it.
If they could show replays of hockey action in the same manner, we'd be in business.

Why are we jobbing FSN? 'Cause there was nothing else going on.

No, wait. Just before your cat jumps out of the window with no intent of landing on its feet, something actually happens.

The Oilers are everywhere.
Shawn Horcoff beats MAF over the shoulder.

Roberts had a tough night in the photos.
It's a shame he will kill whoever took this.

There was a play later in which MAF looked like he was gonna freeze the puck, but he never even brought his glove down to the ice.
The ref blows the play dead, though, to the chagrin of the Oiler crowd.
The ref even comes over to MAF to laugh about it.
Yeah, that's how exciting this game was to that point.

No power plays in that second period for anyone.


Speaking of Shawn Horcoff, he was the guy who scored a hat trick the last time the Pens and Oilers played each other.

[ ESPN Recap 01.10.06 ]

After that game, Therrien's infamous "they're soph" conference took place.

A game note from that recap:

Penguins F Ziggy Palffy has one power-play goal in 36 games

Before the third period began, FSN showed us what we've missed.



Five minutes into the third, the Penguins started buzzing.
Kennedy-Staal-Roberts got a good chance, but they couldn't get it in.

It only took the Pens 45 minutes to wake up, but it started happening.

Eaton gets yet another shot off, Malkin gets the rebound.
Roloson MAF's it into the slot.
Guess who.


Before you can finish trying to put Talbot's goal into words so you can put it on a blog, Crosby busts into the Edmonton zone.
He gets it over to Letang. Letang buries it.


Oil Country = Stunned.

Talbot almost scored on a shift right after that.
Someone in Edmonton might have killed themselves.

The third period reached the halfway mark. It was crunch time.
And no one comes through in crunch time like Mark Eaton.

He gets one on net. Wait...wait... wait. Did Eaton just score?

Nevermind. Colby deflects it in.

We'll take it.

Colby wasn't done making a difference.
With 7:32 left, he draws a penalty.

Atlantic Division teams know what the Pens are about.
The rest of the Eastern Conference has a solid idea what the Pens are about.

But these poor Western Conference teams have no idea the Whitney Play™ exists.

Gonchar slams it from the point. It hits someone's boob.
It bounces out to Sid, and Whitney was lurking.


A 2-goal lead is a bitch, though.

The Pens play keep-away until the Oilers pull Roloson with 1:40 left.

MAF's balls are huge enough to try and score a goal into the empty net.
[ Insert your own stickhandling joke here ]

No dice. But it didn't matter.
The third period was the biggest Oil disaster since the Exxon Valdez.


  • Bing: 3 A
  • Colby: 1 G, 1 A
  • Eaton: 2 A
  • Talbot: Huge goal
  • Thanks to Kurt W. for helping us with the ™ and © in our posts.
  • No Ruutu, no Adam Hall.
  • Sykora didn't get a point tonight. But he played a great game.
  • The fans got their money's worth. Right?
  • Minus that Toronto game, those 5 days off look like they were spent working on defense.
  • Eaton plays another game like this, and a new photoshop expo may be in order.
  • Gonch makes the power play go 'round.
  • Dustin Penner for the Oiler is a complete joke.

Big game coming tonight in Calgary.
The return of Roberts.

You Can't Touch a Flame When It's Red Hot. [Youtube ]


Holly said...

The jewelry commercial is so bad, I have missed the first 30 seconds after the break because I've had to mute the television and look away so as to not have some sort of seizure from the repetitive softly-lit hugging that occurs approximately every 6 minutes on hockey nights. Repetitive softly-lit hugging would be ok if it were Bing and Geno immediately following the puck entering the goal from one of their sticks.

Ashley said...

YES Pens win in Oil Country.

Damn me for going to bed just before the third period! Such a stupid-ass mistake...I'll know better on Saturday night when the Pens hit Vancouver on HNIC.

Now I have to go write a stupid medical nutrition exam. What a crappy day

stokes said...

"The third period was the biggest Oil disaster since the Exxon Valdez."


MAF will score this year.

I HATE THE JBR COMMERCIAL. its is probably the worst commercial of all time.

firefox said...

I kind of like the jewelry commercial. Everytime I see it, I think, "Damn, I'd like to bang her." Pigblog, I know.

luvnmypens said...

Mark Eaton = Silent Dominator

Robbie Brown said...

So disappointed that I had to get to work early today. I missed Rob Brown in the booth! I was disappointed when he didn't get the color job for FSN here when the position was opened up. I heard he did a fine job with some good points and commentary. Long live the windmill!

P.S. The JBR commercial to me is almost as annoying as those Aunt Penny commercials for Kenny Ross.

Kristen PB said...

I am glad I'm not the only one losing IQ points by seeing that damn commercial 40 times during the game.

Anybody else notice the guy looks like a total pansy? He's been banished by Wife to sit and watch while she handles all the decorations. He can't even do those right.

You just know he got the jewelry gift idea from his best friend, Mr. Not A Pansy, who is probably doing Wife. I mean, a chaste hug after getting an expensive piece of jewelry? She's definitely getting some elsewhere.

And, unlike Kay Jewelers, who at least tells guys they'll get some lip action after giving jewelry, JBR entices men by telling them they'll get...hugged?

Obviously I've put too much thought into this. Damn you, JBR!

jamesFALLEN said...

Winning is awesome... but is it time for a Malkin watch????

Big Ray said...

Great game.

Eaton is sick.

That jewelry commercial does suck so bad, but i don't think it is as bad as that GCU commercial. That commercial makes my blood curdle.

Fleury29 said...

If the Bad MAFer scores a goal I have no idea what I'll do but it will be insane.

BlankieGirl said...

I love how after a win coming from goals in the third period you can laugh that you were glad you stayed up for it all! Shame on those who went to bed early, you should know your Pens better than that, lol.

Seriously... that commercial is killing me. They abused it last year... Dude, you bought her the same jewelry LAST year... get her something else! Like hockey tickets or something.. oh, hehe.. sorry, that's what I want for myself :)

Keep up the great blogging hon.. always love reading each day :)

PensBeerGeek said...

The jewelry commercial does suck. Seriously, if the guy can hide his porn stash, he can hide the ring!

The most honest diamond commercial of all time, from Family Guy.
"Diamonds...she'll pretty much have to"

bnee said...

sorry, but i love the west coast start means i don't have to watch the dvr'ed game after work and can actually watch it live! sick. haha gcu....where did that atrocity come from??

Brett said...

oh my good look at those point totals from the 03-04 season. I totally blocked it out of my memory how bad we were. Bobby Orr, Tarnstrom was not.

Hooks Orpik said...

james--Put a watch on Malkin for the 2 assists he had last night?

Nice to pick up these two points.

Don't look now but the Pens have won 4 of the last 5.

wilsmith said...

Look on the bright side, the Steubenville commercial hasn't been around much this year.

FSN has the best adverstisers.

J.S. said...

Oh, it's gonna happen. The Bad MAFer is gonna score, and I might even go as far as to say it'll be this year. The way he's been lining up pucks up during the final minute or two of the game (when Whitney isn't trying to take it from him), you can almost sense that he going for it.

Count me in for another thanks for blasting that jewelry commercial. When Yahoo was streaming one of the Pens games a week or so ago, a friend IMed me to ask if all of the commercials up here are that bad. No, but the JBR one. That hug...ugh, it looks so fake and lifeless, kinda like "Yeah, thanks, whatev." Kristen is probably right. His buddy, Mr. Not-a-pansy, is probably plowing her like a buffalo snowstorm while Mr. Pansy sits back and is greatful for some half-ass hug.

Lloyd said...

How long has Eat 'n Park been running the same Christmas commercial of the tree bending over for the star?

The ~D said...

When MAF took that shot I almost crapped my pants. If that goes in, I wake my whole neighborhood up.

I was really, really close to calling it a night after the first 5 went by in the 3rd...glad I didn't.

J.S. said...

Lloyd, probably just as long as the one that the PA Lottery has been running.

Jonny V said...

Lloyd, the Eat 'n Park commercial has been on for at least 25 years now. And Robbie Brown, I second u on the Aunt Penny commercials. She annoys the shit out of me. Which is not what a sweet old lady is supposed to do. And on the radio side, west hills motors...Moon Township...262-9020eeeeeeeeeeeee. I want to kick that dude in the junk so bad.

jamesFallen said...

Hooks, you know sometimes points don't tell the tale. I mean beleive me I love all the pens picking them up. But it's been a while since Malkin has been his usual impact player self. Maybe Crosby's current domination is so great there is no room for Geno, but who knows.

We're winning who cares.

Sinops said...

Jbr also has a shitty commercial they play on the radio 500 times daily on the X.

Don't forget about the "Tony's got it" lady. Just plain terrible.


canaanregulatesblog said...

burb of the burghs...


firefox said...

The Eat N Park commercial was a flashback for me. I don't live in Pittsburgh anymore so I catch all the games on Center Ice. I hadn't seen that since I was a kid so it was kind of neat.

And I still like to tag that chick in the jewlery commercial. :)

Stoosh said...


1. The worst thing about the JBR commercials - other than the platonic half-assed hug - is when the Mr. Pansy says something like, "I hope I can still surprise her after all these years..." All these years? Dude, what are you, like 35, tops? All these years?

2. PA Lottery with Gus...I guess we're not lucky enough that one of these days, Gus happens to be standing in the direct path of a hunter's bullet got awry or something. Stupid.

3. The Aunt Penny commercials. Absolutely the worst out there right now. Just awful. What's the deal with Aunt Penny's accent? Sometimes she sounds like she's from the South. Sometimes, she sounds like that old Mike Myers character on "Coffee Talk". Sometimes, she sounds like she's from New York. Pick an accent and stick with it, grandma. Better yet, just kill the commercial. I liked it better when she was just the old lady in the photo frame.

4. Wilsmith...regarding that HP cowgirl picture in the previous thread...Great Googly Moogly! (Now THAT was a commercial)

Spencemo said...

Up here, we call Steubenville, Stupidville (juvenile, I know. Don't care.)

The best "Diamonds..." has got to be Ron White...
"Diamonds...That'll shut her up..."

Lady Jaye said...

I peg the Eat N Park commercial at 20 years at least. I swear I remember it in the 80s when I was a kid. That commercial always signified it was Christmas season.

I hate car christmas present commercials worse... I just think "Surprise, I got you a car payment for Christmas."

And damn me for sleeping... kinda. I kept waking up after they'd score a goal; however, by morning I thought I just dreamt it.

Anonymous said...

JBR wife is sexy though, so i dont mind it

wizardofcroz said...

a few thoughts on the game:
-MAF should be worrying about stopping pucks, not trying to score. if we're up 10-2, then he can shoot it; but up 4-2, he needs to focus.
-hats off to geno for great back-checking all night
-rob brown's windmill in the booth last night wasn't too pretty
-looking forward to georges dropping the gloves tonight against a physical calgary team

Nathan said...

Stoosh, I don't know what the law is in Pennsylvania, but here in Virginia, groundhogs are considered a "nuisance species" by the Department of Game and Inland Fisheries, and as such, they can be killed at any time of year through any legal means (basically, if you're in a locality with an ordinance prohibiting discharge of firearms, you can't shoot them).

The main reason I didn't go to bed with the Pens down 2-0 last night was because the Pens were really carrying the play throughout most of the first two periods, and it was only Red-Light Roloson's play that kept the Oilers in the lead. Steigy and Errey kept harping on that fact too, and once the Pens finally put one home, the wheels came flying off for Edmonton. Bet tonight's game looks a lot the same, with a solid goalie playing in front of a generally craptacular team. Go Pens.

Anonymous said...

Comming from a Flames fan, I would like to thank the Pens from the bottom of my heart for embarassing the Oilers on home ice. Truly appreciated.
I'll try to get a decent shot of centre ice at the Saddledome tonight for you-
I've been waiting to see "Flames-Penguins" on a game sheet for 3 frickin years!! Going to be a great game.

Dan said...

im gonna be @ the flames game tonight it was a bugger to get tix though but i finaly found some on ebay for the "sportcheck zone" haha

wilsmith said...

Are the JBR commercials any worse than the "He went to Jared!" ones on the radio? Those are tough to beat.

Steubenville sitll gets my vote as the worst, even it's not on as much anymore.

Runner up is 262-9020.

Stoosh said...

More thoughts...

SPENCEMO - "I was drunk in a bar! You THREW me into PUBLIC!"

Awesome! Ron White f'ing rules! My absolute favorite is the story of his plane trip from the Flagstaff.

While we're talking about old Christmas commercials, what are the shelf lives on these two:

1. The Budweiser Clydesdales traipsing through the snow-covered village, and

2. The Folgers one where the kid ("PETER!") comes home early in the morning from somewhere (college, maybe?) and wakes up his whole family by making them Folgers coffee. Peter's got to be in his late forties or early fifties by now.

Both of those commercials have got to be around twenty years old.

Sinops said...


if we're up 10-2 then the opponent would not pull their goalie. I have no problem with him going for a goal, when we are up by 2. If it was a one goal game, then you clear the puck.

stokes said...


its probably just me, but JBR wife's mouth is as big as a horse's.

i love the ENP Tree/star commercial.

i want Aunt Penny to break her stupid hip. or better yet, i'll smack her in the face with "a sack of nickels"

Cblog could go on for weeks about terrible commercials.

There's no way in hell i'm going to bed with the pens only down 2 goals. they pretty much controlled play, so i really wasn't TOO worried.

MAF doesn't worry me when he's trying to score. hes enjoying the game, and i think its leading to him playing better. GAA in the past four wins is somehwere around .954(54545454...). hes playing well and its not like when he's trying to score goals, the game is on the line or he's being foolish.
just my two cents.

Can the pens beat the back-to-back game curse they have this year? i hope so.


Jazzhall said...

- I had forgotten about the Eat'n Park commercial. Still quality.

- I think this is Aunt Penny version 2, different woman in the recent commercials I saw when I was back home.

- JBR et al., might make an impression on screen, but here in DC, its Mervis Jewelers, with the epic radio episodes of mine blasts and the like.

- I know there's been quite a bit of talk about Recchi clearing waivers etc. Last year, when we let go of John LeClair, this was considered the "right approach" to being classy about it; I don't get a sense from the newspapers/internet that its necessarily being seen that way now?

- Jared commercials are horrible.

Kristen PB said...

I end up with the stupid "JBR, JB Robinson" radio commercial jingle stuck in my head all day long.

I love how all these jewelry stores try to make you think it matters where you go to buy your crap...

Walmart execs should start an honest commercial campaign:
"Walmart. When all you want is to just get laid already."

Anonymous said...

I enjoy the Diet Pepsi commercial because it's so yawn, everyone yawns....then the guy spinning in the chair haha. it's just truth.

Jersey Bill said...

I have just sent a sizable check to GLAAD and I am requesting full membership after watching that Flames video. Thanks a lot, guys.

ChrisInVA said...

That lady in teh JBR commercial has horse teeth. Gross.

Ted said...

I have an idea to use the jewelry commercial as a drinking game. If you get the piece of jewelry wrong, drink, if you get it right, everyone else drinks. Just a thought.

Stoosh said...

On the "HE WENT TO JARED!" commercials, does anyone else get annoyed by the Alicia Silverstone-like snaggletooth sneer that the one girl makes every time she talks.

Watch for it next time you see the commercial and I guarantee it'll bug you every time you see the commercial after that.

wizardofcroz said...


good point. i just get nervous when MAF is handling the puck regardless of the score.

as much as i love roberts' grit, i have to say i would've rather seen hall or ruutu out there last night. should roberts be sent the way of recchi and leclair?

stokes said...

Ted- great idea!

Stoosh-now, why would i look for something that is going to annoy me when i KNOW it will annoy me. That commercial sucks

bluzdude said...

The 262-9020 commercial makes me want to stab something.

I mean, who is the brain surgeon in the advertising dept. that thought, "lets just end it with some ridiculous high pitched voice? Our potential customers are retards anyway..."

Another chilling thought... someone actually got paid for doing that voice...
"What did you do today, honey?"
"I talked like this on a commercial that will play over and over for years, and cause anyone that hears it to commit violence!"

Angel said...

Hi Nice Blog .very possible Jewelers Point choice is available and their customers don't have to shop anywhere else. In addition, they are placing a greater emphasis on training their employees than they have in the past. The days of receiving second rate advice and service at national chain stores are becoming a thing of the past.


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