Tuesday, December 18, 2007

The Big Apple Joke

Monday nights just aren't the same anymore.


First, [ James Mirtle ] broke down all the secondary- and primary-assist crap pertaining to Sidney Crosby.
Then Seth at [ Empty Netters ] drove it home.

Davey M says Therrien better be good at juggling. [PG]

Do it


:: A commentor over at [ Kuklas Korner ] made a ranking of how much traveling each team has racked up this season.

:: Power Rankings from ESPN, TSN, and the like go over like farts in an elevator.
Here are the real rankings. Sort of. [ Globe Sports ]
Whatever that means.


Pensblog doctor, Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman, brought us this report on Rob Scuds.

He'll play.

Quite frankly we'd call that dude on the left a homo.
But it's quite obvious that he plowed Dr. Quinn 50 seconds after this was taken.


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Chris Simon has been given a leave of absence from the Islanders to seek help. [ TSN ]

The stench permeating from Simon's career and his balls hits home.

[phi.<span class=
[ Taking One For The Team ] broke down the Flyers and their eventual salary-cap crisis.

[car.<span class=
Chad Larose of the Hurricanes says Scottie Upshall of the Flyers talks trash on the ice.
Dirty and personal trash. [ Fanhouse ]
"He talks so much (stuff) on the ice out there," Larose said, "Dirty (stuff). Personal (stuff). He wants to say that, bring him out here right now ... I'd even put somebody else's shoes on so I can kick him in the face."

[tor.<span class=
McCabe is out two months. [ ESPN ]
No word on who will take over as worst player in the NHL.

And...are the Pens interested in Toronto goalie Andrew Raycroft? [ Fanhouse ]
That rumor was started by TSN Darren Dreger.
No word on his source. But we heard it was from a text message.

Only one good thing would come out of that:
The potential of a bad-ass Raycroft Penguins mask in the style of his current one.

Of course the only bad thing would be bad goaltending.

In the spirit of more rumors,
Spec(ula)tor had some interesting things. [ Spector]


[Picture+6.<span class=

The big news Monday was NBC getting Bob Costas to host the coverage of the game. [ Costas ]
That's good, since we can expect to see some kind of residual mention of the game during the Sunday night football crap on NBC.

:: Orpik and Whitney talk about the game. [ Pens ]

:: Georges Laraque talks about the Heritage Classic. [ Laraque ]

:: And the NHL ran with the Happy Valley Ice Bowl story. [ NHL.com ]
Someone would wind up dead up there.

Fans make or break the outdoor game. [ NHL.com ]
Guess you're supposed to signal a touchdown when you get your picture taken.
And hopefully someone kicked that Gretzky lover down those stairs.

[ PenguinsSuck.com ]

Oh man.


Double J up in NYC tonight.

Bring the funk.


And lastly.

[Ian M.]

That is what we are about.

Go Pens


meecrofilm said...

My guess is that Simon is taking a leave of absence and "seeking help" just to try to show that he is really remorseful and sorry, might have some anger problem that he's gonna go get fixed, and is truly dedicated to the sport and staying in the league blah blah blah, JUST to try and reduce the severity of the punishment. It's a joke.
And am I the only one who thinks this?

I hope Campbell sees through this ploy by Chris Simon (or should I say the Islanders. He's clearly not smart enough to think that up).

J.S. said...

I keep forgetting about Photoshopblog. Right now, my laptop is only running in safe mode and at 800x600 in shitcolor, but I should have that covered by the end of the week...I hope.

Brett said...

Attending a Pens game in beaver stadium in the middle of winter against the Flygirls would quite possibly be the single greatest night of my life, next to the time I ran into david hasselhoff at Chick Fil-A (gotta love the hoff)

Anonymous said...

Please put a game in happy valley next year! Who says this needs to be a once a year thing?

firefox said...

I agree with you meecrofilm, Simon knows he is screwed so he is trying to play the "finding Jesus" card of sorts. He isn't remorseful at all. I read the response from him last stick swinging incident. He appoligized to the team for making them lose the game and to the fans. Can't say I saw an applogy to the guy who look the the damn stick to the head. If he actually applogizes to Jarko (who can really be a pain in the ass) then I might believe him. But I don't see it happening. He is trying to save his career. But looking around the internet, a great deal of people thing a ban from the league is justified. I think so to. All the guy does is try to end careers. I don't want to hear about that anger management bullshit, I want to hear the hammer drop.

MummRa said...

Rangers called up, and might be starting, Alvaro "You Killed My Father" Montoya tonight.

You keep using that word. I don't think it mean what you think it mean!

Spencemo said...

You're right, Brett, you gotta love the Hoff, but am I the only one pissed that they made the new KITT and effin' Mustang?! It's just not right...

Anonymous said...

i cant stop thinking about a potential beaver stadium matchup with the cryers. tailgating would be out of control. this needs to happen.

Chris E said...

What email address to I send Photoshops too?



Chris E said...

I'm an idiot, I found it.


Malkinian said...

Lmao that cellphone shop may be the best of all time! And I'm up at PSU right now and I've asked around and a Pens-Flyers game in Beaver Stadium would be huge up here!

Go Pens

Anonymous said...

Rangers have been pretty bad lately, tonight is a perfect opportunity to turn things around in the division. The Pens need to take advantage and make the most of it.

Jonny V said...

Spence and Brett, I still have my Knight Rider toy car with David Hasselhoff action figure. They are fierce.

And regarding the impending Flyers salary-cap hell, in my post yesterday I told about what the owners are trying to do already to eff with the salary cap structure. The rich teams will find a way around it.

Anonymous said...

ian m. that photoshop made my day

Eric said...

that Larose quote might be the best thing i've ever heard.

Simon on Dr. Phil next week, show's topic is:
"I'm a douchebag that sucks at hockey; so I cheap shot people to make the headlines"

Go Pens

stokes said...

I literally went through 3 Knight Rider big wheels.

after He-Man, the Hoff was probably my boyhood hero.

and then came Mario.


nailersfan66 said...

Montoya has already been reassigned to Hartford.

Craig said...

Did anyone else read this....

Frozen Fantasy: Perplexed Penguins
By Janet Eagleson
December 14, 2007

Can things get much worse for the Pens?

After a meteoric rise last season, they're barely holding on to a playoff spot. Sidney Crosby has stiffs for linemates. Jordan Staal can't hit the broad side of a sod farm. Ryan Whitney hasn't emerged like I thought he would. And Mark Recchi seized up like a metal toy left out in the rain.

But then came a 7-2-1 record on a recent 10-game streak and they looked like they were turning the corner. That is, until they ran smack into the brick wall known as the Flyers Tuesday night. Then they lost their starting netminder (Marc-Andre Fleury) for up to two months and third line center (Maxime Talbot) for at least a few weeks. High ankle injuries. Crap.

What are the options? The Pens have frustrated fantasy owners everywhere and it looks like it might continue. Could a trip to the dawg pound be in the cards for this beleaguered team? Curtis Joseph might just be the ideal back-fill between the pipes for a squad that is currently rolling the elite tandem of Dany Sabourin and Ty Conklin.

No, Michel (call me Michael because I'm in the States now) Therrien isn't a fan of older guys. Just look at the way the Recchi situation was handled and how rippy Gary Roberts has been of late. But the Pens will sink out of contention if they don't act fast.

Cujo played in front of high-flying offenses when he was in Toronto and he kept those little rubber discs out of the twine tent. He'd be a short-term solution that would come cheap, both on the ice and in fantasy.

And he might be the answer to every owner's dreams. Watch this situation very, very carefully.

PSU SUCKS said...

Worst idea ever to bring a good team like the Penguins into the State Penn. How many criminals played on their football squad this season?

Penn State fans = OVERRATED!

Every college analyst states that Penn States move to the Big Ten was made Penn State look like a joke.

pensgirl said...

On the secondaries thing...Sid is credited for a secondary on each goal in the Philly game, but he actually had the primary on one of them (the tape don't lie). What was that about numbers being fudged? Seems like they got the conspiracy backwards.

(Kidding, probably just a mistake. But it's fun to accuse Philly of fraud.)

stokes said...

the rangers stink right now.


Let's go Pens!


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