Wednesday, November 14, 2007

A Shot At The NHL

Amidst all the Penguin woes,
we get a reminder of the life that exists past the recent poopfest. [ PG ]

Isaac Mendez came up big-time with a painting.

do it

And, yes, everything is connected:
The arena design was made by HOK Sports, a company from Kansas City.

[ Gallery at Pens website ]

Here is a Google-maps layout submitted by an anonymous human in c-blog.
Click to enlarge.

If you have the internet and a mouse, you know Kris Letang has been called up by King Shero.
Nasreddine will go back to WBS and dominate silently.
JFK is also going back to WBS. [ PG ]

You need to know anything about Letang?
Bet your balls the good people at [ Faceoff Factor] will be able to tell you.

Message boards everywhere rejoiced over the news today.
And now it's just a matter of time before those people say "Letang doesn't fit."

Hopefully, he does fit. Hopefully he dominates on the power play.
Hopefully he takes the Jan Brady slot from Marty the chicken in flashblog.

You'll know he has made it when a picture of his car gets posted on Pittsburgh's number-one sports blog/auction site :
[Mondesi's House]



Gonch, Eaton, Sydor, Whitney are as constant as gravity.
Then again, Sydor is bringing up the rear of the defensive corps with a -7 in plus/minus.

Sacrificing Scuderi's (even in plus/minus) no-name, solid defensive play for a wide-eyed 20-year-old would fall in line with most of Therrien's decisions as of late.

Orpik hasn't given anyone a reason to hate him.


Speaking of plus/minus, Jordan Staal is the equivalent of ball sweat and cheese.
He is -8.

The recent tribulations prompted us to call on the services of Pensblog detective Cleaver McLean.

"Yo, it's Cleaver.
After some tits detecting, the Penguins tribulations this year are easily explainable.

Jordan Staal had 29 goals last season.
A fair assessment in the preseason would have been to forecast him scoring 20 goals this year, which factors into 5 goals per every 20 games.
The Pens have played 18 games thus far. Staal has one goal.
He is roughly 4 goals behind the 20-goal pace.

The Pens have lost more than a few one-goal games this season, so there you have it.
A couple of Staal goals would have helped the Pens steal a point or two this year, possibly, giving them 17 points on the season.

And the Pens were given 16 cake points last season by beating up on the Flyers 8 times.
Now that the Flyers resemble a professional sports team again, the Pens have already missed out on 4 points.

That would bring the Pens to 21 points, sitting atop the Atlantic.

Now that that is all squared away and the reasons for the Pens woes are out in the open,
people can stop complaining about everything and realize that this is an 82-game season."


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Bob Smizik says the pressure's on for MT and Shero. [PG]

Ron Cook's eyes turn all-white as he bangs out a balls-out column about MAF. [ PG ]
It's really as solid as a newspaper article gets.
  • MAF isn't a newbie in the NHL anymore.
  • He should be showing signs of learning from mistakes.
  • Sabu's a beast, but this is MAF's team.
  • Therrien is handling the situation questionably.

To the chagrin of Pens fans internet-wide, Jes dominated a blogpost three weeks ago regarding Marc-Andre Fleury and whether or not he was a big deal.
Jes discusses it again, in the wake of Ron Cook's article. [ Fanhouse ]

Rumors are circulating...
...In the best shape of his life


Guess what. Ottawa has two topnotch goalies.
It's only a matter of time before the Sens start entertaining offers for one of them. [ Yahoo ]

Ken Campbell of The Hockey News ponders over whether or not the Pens should send Staal back to juniors. [ Hockey News ]

The Pens are 19th in TSN Power Rankings [ TSN ranks ]

A DVD of Captain Ron is 15th.


The All-Star jerseys, courtesy of [ Tournament of Logos ]

The Stars fired their GM.
Brett Hull is now co-general-manager of the Dallas Stars. [ ]

The Sens have been on fire.
And Jason Spezza hasn't even been around for a couple games. But he's back. [ Yahoo ]

[gay-man-pheromones-image.<span class=
"I'll give you one guess where he's been. It rhymes with Ty Gainis."

Following a seven-week voting contest, games between LA and Anaheim will be known as Free Way Faceoffs. [ Kukla's Korner ]
For us in the Eastern Conference, the matchups are also known as meaningless.

If you want to get any scoop on those teams,
as always, we recommend one of our favorites.
[Battle of California ]

Best blog on earth.
Cartoons are money.


Sean Avery has made the swift transition from solid hockey player to complete joke.

For the second time in a week, he was involved in an incident during warm-ups before a game.
This time, it was with Darcy Tucker and the Maple Leafs.
Fines were handed out.

A Toronto radio station claiming that Sean Avery made derogatory comments about Jason Blake and cancer has not helped matters.
Sean Avery denies making any such comments. [ TSN ]


Bob McKenzie was eating breakfast and decided to take up internet space with a meaningless post about how to stop pre-game incidents. [ TSN ]

[ The Guins Blog ] has failed to meet our 30-day requirement of making a post.
So long.



For some reason, this order is taking longer to ship than the last order.
Early indications are we'll have enough to fill all the orders we've gotten.

Multimedia blog

A solid anti-smoking ad.

Good friend Bob B sent this in.
If you get a chance give it a look and give him a vote.


Add to My Profile | More Videos

A guy we don't link nearly enough.
Jon Bombulie, beat writer for the baby pens, has a nice Max Talbot "fu manchu" trivia game
[ Penguins Insider ]

And finally:
TV recommendation, to pass the slow time during off days.

If you like drama...
"A Shot at Love"
What a reality show.
8 dudes and 8 girls vying for the love of bisexual Tila Tequila.
It already has had two unreal meltdowns.

It is good times
Don't forget your blanket tonight.
It is cold in the basement.

Go Pens


Fleury29 said...

I'd just like to point out that I pointed out HOK was based in Kansas City, like, months ago.

Those All-Star jerseys are uglier than gangly-ass Wayne Gretzky. Go back to the old, classic design a'la Mario circa 1984. Those were amazing.

Brett Hull is now a co-joke.

WufPirate said...

"Orpik hasn't given anyone a reason to hate him."

With the exception of Carolina fans and the whole "breaking Erik Cole's neck and not wanting to show any remorse" thing.

Stoosh said...

Fleury29 has it dead on with the classic All-Star jersey comment.

What the hell is going on at RBK? And is the NHL quality control department just a room full of chimpanzees or something?

Who signs off on these things? Who looks at those jerseys and thinks they even remotely approach a good idea? Who makes the conscious decision that the general hockey fanbase will think they ooze "cool" and slap down $150 for one of them?

I'd love to meet that person.

And then I'd like to introduce their teeth to the business end of a Sherwood.

These things make those craptastic jerseys from the mid-1990s look classic by design. Kids R'Us wouldn't even put these things on their shelves.

Stoosh said...


If Carolina fans still think Orpik did that with any intent whatsoever to hurt Cole - let alone break his neck - they're bigger jokes than those All-Star jerseys.

It was an unfortunate accident.

Steve In Denver said...

Somebody needs to beat Avery's ass, pronto. He's also been seen trying to hook up with one of the Olsen twins, which is hilarious and gross all rolled into one. Like a cat turd sushi roll, or something.

Those AS jerseys are terrible. Someone needs to intervene. There's plenty of time to fix that crap.

Teej said...

Words can really be tricky...regarding MAF, if what Therrien said ends up firing him up and the Pens rattle off a great 20-game stretch and the Pens win the President's Trophy, then Therrien is a genius and is a shoe-in for the Jack Adams Award. If the opposite happens, he's gone by January and...*drumroll please...* Eddie Johnston replaces him behind the bench.

I am not willing to give up on Therrien, Shero or Fleury, but if things don't stop smelling like farts for the Pens, something can and will give.

WufPirate said...

I am certain that Hooks Orpik had no intent of harm in hitting Erik Cole. It's the aftermath that pissed everyone off. He didn't even want to apologize for the hit shortly after, but after reading things like "Cole can't even lift his children up" weeks after --- he called Mark Recchi (who had joined the Canes) to try and apologize to Cole. EC wasn't having any of it. So Orpik will continue to hear the boo-birds in Raleigh.

Stoosh said...


Not trying to say I didn't feel bad for Cole or anything like that. And I can't blame Canes fans for booing Orpik; I'd probably do the same if the sort of thing happened to Crosby, Malkin, anyone.

I don't want to harp on something that's a couple of years old or get into a pissing contest about this. This article from Kevin Allen at USA Today...

...confirms the story about Orpik trying to contact Cole via Recchi. But it also seemed like Cole didn't really want to hear what Orpik had to say, anyway.


"Cole said Orpik tried to reach out to him through Carolina's Mark Recchi, Orpik's former Pittsburgh teammate. But when Recchi asked Cole for permission to give Orpik Cole's phone number, Cole said no."

"Honestly I probably wouldn't even speak to him," Cole said. "If he feels that it's something that he needs to do for his benefit, he can say it and get it off his chest. I am not looking for any apologies. I am looking forward to playing him again."

When asked why he wouldn't accept an Orpik apology, Cole said, "Why should I? It's a game. He shouldn't have to apologize to me."

wilsmith said...

The hit was Cole's fault anyway.

J.S. said...

Probably the first time I'll disagree with something on TPB, but Tila Tequila = joke. I couldn't fall asleep last night and flipped past it. Five minutes of my life that I won't be getting back. I would have been better off washing my hands, making sure they were still damp, and then attempting to fit a roll of dimes individually into the nearest wall socket.

Actually MTV has been a joke since the mid 90s, but that's another blog entry for another time or place.

But to the important stuff. I couldn't agree with Stoosh more. These are the 07-08 All Star Jerseys? They do mean the practice jerseys...don't they? Wow, probably the most boring all star jersey I've seen in any of the four sports.

Sarah said...

what else is there to say?
We need to just keep trucking I guess.
Keep up the great job guys.
Go Pens!
PS - the all-star jerseys are pretty gay looking

Anonymous said...

The arena looks sweet. My main concern is where is Mario's statue gonna be?

Earl Sleek said...

Best blog on earth.
Cartoons are money.

Aw thanks, guys. Now I'm all blushy.

grrrreg said...

Not even a small joke about Tlusty's nude pictures? I'm surprised guys. Anyways, great work, as usual!

stokes said...

I really doubt the rumors. I mean Mario MAY be in the best shape of his life, but he's older than Rex.

That being said, if Mario does return, i will shit my pants.

Anonymous said...

I'm wondering if anyone saw Starkey's article today that discussed why MT punishes young players for poor play by benching them, but does not do the same for Recchi AND ROBERTS! There is a lot of talk on this site about how poorly Rex has played, but none whatsoever concerning Roberts. He has been equally futile in contribution than Recchi. Just speaking my mind, and I know you guys speak your minds, but I just think this is a huge issue.

Hooks Orpik said...

stokes---Regardless of what shape Mario's in, one of the major reasons he retired was a heart condition.

No one would be happier for me for him to come back, but I think the Big Guy has taken his last bow on the ice and is more than willing to watch from the owner's box as Sir Sid runs with his banner.

Jonny V said...

Stoosh, nice find with the article on Cole. I remember reading that awhile ago and didn't understand why all the hard feelings with the fans towards Orpik. And I usually take umbrage when the Pens fans on here talk shit on the Steeler fans, but what u said last post about the calling in to Sportsbeat was friggin' hilarious. Ha ha Braaahhhnnns

And something about that Tila chick makes me want to see a heavy object fall on her. And pretty much all of VH1 is MTV's retarded little inbred brother. It's all poopy.

Anonymous said...

give Tila Tequila a job, maybe she can get recchi and roberts to stop acting like old men.

boing boing

Anonymous said...

To anon@4:35 -

The difference between Mark Recchi and Gary Roberts is that the Pens started the season with the intent of putting him back on the top line. Roberts spent his time in Pittsburgh last season crashing and banging and making space for the playmakers. So while Roberts may down with Recchi on the goal tally, he gets more slack because he's not necessarily expected to be a major contributer in that category.

I'm not saying that Gary Roberts is playing pefectly, or even well. There are only a few players on the team who you can reasonably argue are playing well - Crosby, Malkin, Sykora, plus maybe Gonchar, Talbot, and Whitney.

Gary Roberts needs to step it up. In fact, three fourths of the team need to step it up. With this many players playing below expectations, the fans tend to focus on the ones who are underperforming the worst.

Staff said...

WUFPIRATE -- We meant in terms of his defensive play so far this season.

But, yeah, the Cole thing bought him a few haters.


We acknowledge Roberts' futility.
We are coping with it.

WWGRD may be too much pressure.

Ellie said...

"Rumors are circulating...

...In the best shape of his life"

haha : )

Anonymous said...

You pretty much made my point for me. Do people actually expect Recchi or Roberts to score goals? No. Do people expect that from Armstrong, Christiansen(maybe somewhat more), or Ruutu? No. They are role players. I know that none of those guys have been contributing, but Recchi and Roberts hold this team back, but are constantly favored over the younger guys.

Also, Roberts was pegged for the second line at the beginning of the year playing with Malkin, which is essentially a top line. All I'm saying is that Roberts is playing at the same piss-poor level as Recchi, but no one on this site or any other message board cares to discuss it, other than you and me.

Steve In Denver said...

Marty the chicken is going to play on the 3d line tomorrow, and is going to break the slump with a goal and two helpers. And he's going to peck DiPietro's good eye for fun.

Also, why is the dude Pensblog Charlie? It was very unhomophobic of you to give him that name. He could have easily been Pensblog Gregory, Pensblog Richard, or Pensblog Kenny.

Fleury29 said...

This is what an All-Star jersey should look like. Or like this.

And I always liked this one but I don't, obviously, care for the player, too much.

I always thought the 2004 jerseys were awesome... and this picture killed four sperm whales because of it's sheer dominance.

They EDGE jerseys last year were a fucking joke... but not as big a joke as this year's jerseys. I can't even begin to explain that bullshittery. All-Star jerseys used to be things I wanted, now they're things I think should be given to the homeless.

stokes said...

you know, i totally forgot about the heart condition. its incredible that Mario has has had soo many freaking medical problems. all i'm saying is if i would EVER Mario in a Pens uni again, i would crap myself. i cried the first comeback, i would shit on a second.

Roberts never really was a huge goal scorer, as far as i know. Army and EC could be contributors. Hell would someone contribute besides Sid and Geno!?!

MAF in net tomorrow? i hope so, and for like the 10 games after it. nothing against Sabu, but maybe MAF needs a rhythm. ????

Fleury29 said...

Oh, and Snoopyjode, I ran across this when I was looking up all those All-Star jerseys. I think it's some sort of Japanese anime Sid vinyl blow up doll or something. Do you have one of these yet because if not, you need one, methinks.

homesprout said...

That one lesbian chick on the show, Brandi(the one with the tattoos and large chesticles), is hotter than Tila Tequila anyway....

Pens need a winning streak and it all starts tomorrow against the Isles!!


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