Friday, October 12, 2007

Your Wrist Will Never Be The Same


( Brian Steimer )

After a few days of blasting Google's servers with searches of custom wristbands,
we settled on one that looks promising.

[ Wristbands-4-Less ]

We'll be purchasing 500 wristbands for $295 or $345, flat rate.

We expect a lot of people to buy more than one,
so we can safely estimate that we'll be sending out somewhere around 100 or so envelopes.

With envelopes, postage, and our time factored in,
a price of $2 per wristband is set in stone.

The $295 and $345 price differential is based on the kind of wristband we all want.

Sometime Friday, the website above will be sending us pictures of what two different kinds of wristbands would look like.
Everyone will vote over the weekend, and we'll submit the order on Monday.


We'll have no problem with the initial money needed to purchase the 500 wristbands.
Due to only having 500 wristbands, we're gonna be forced to set a limit of 10 per person.

However, if you wish to contribute to the initial purchase of wristbands that we submit on Monday, you'll be considered a beast and will be able to buy more than 10.

For example:

If you contribute $100 to the initial purchase, you'll be given 50 wristbands.
If you contribute $60 to the initial purchase, you'll be given 30 wristbands.
If you contribute $71 to the initial purchase, you'll be given 35.5 wristbands.

* We will conduct this on an e-mail basis.
The first people that e-mail us and tell us how much they will front (until the totals add up to the final price) will be given this privilege.
Starting right now.

* We'll be in contact with people who will front the money and give them a PayPal account number to deposit the money into before Monday.

* After getting the PayPal account number, you'll have 12 hours exactly to deposit your amount.
If you don't, we move to the next e-mail.

We know that the whole depositing money into some terds account thing is scary.
All we can say to that is what would Gary Roberts do?

The proceeds from this will go to:

1. More bracelets if some people don't get one.
You will get one somehow. This isn't the Ice Bowl.

2. If possible, a charity chosen by the GR.
Or the Mario Lemieux Foundation.

  • We'll be using eBay to sell these.
  • Other than the initial purchases, no pre-orders will be taken.
  • We won't post the wristbands for sale on eBay until they are in our hand.
  • We reiterate: A limit of 10 per person.
  • You WILL get one.

Stupid fact about the NHL

We saw the Pens don't play a divisional opponent until October 20 ( Devils ).

Which team will go the longest before playing a divisional opponent?

The Sharks play the Stars on October 30, their 12th game of the season.

Of their remaining 70 games, 32 will be against the Pacific Division.

The schedule format needs changed.


On the topic of scheduling,
The Pens and Sens will be opening next season in Prague. [ TSN ]

Also in that article is the announcement that the NHL will be moving the start of the season to October 9th and 10th, and instead of packing games on every other day in March, it will be that way in October and November.


Scott Burnside ranks the 30 NHL coaches. [ ESPN ]
Therrien is at #4.

More Pens news:

Bing is like, whatev. [ PG ]

Pens send Naz down. [ Empty Netters ]

News and notes. [ Trib ]

MT was pissed the other night.
How about some 20 questions to calm him down?


Around the NHL


Jesse Boulerice shows some true Flyers goonage:

There have been worse hits.
Keslar is calling for a 20-game suspension. [ TSN ]

Carolina gave the Sens their first loss Thursday night.
And Ray Emery will be heading to the AHL for two games. [ TSN ]



[ Fanhouse ] found this pic of the hockey-stick chandelier in the new Reebok store.



One thing about us is we are never too far away from a good fight.

Thanks to commentor Joe W. for sending this in.

Some Washington Crapitals fan started a thread on one of the message boards down there about us. [ Capitals Message Board ]

Some highlights:

CaptnClark4ever: Try Sh**sburgh. There we go. I have mentioned my hate for the pens many times but it bears repeating. DIE PENS, DIE!!! Whew, ok I feel better now.

jettagob: Look nothing would make my life as a hockey fan better than if the best cheer of all time could happen:
In glorious union united as one voice, the Caps fan chant: Cyn - di! Cyn -di! Cyn - di! Oh that would be a riot! And it is not dirty like some other cheers I have heard...and could think of!

OldChelsea:well it is entertaining, after a fashion (and reassuring to the reader, that he/she can't be too poorly off intellectually if Guins supporters are posting those profound pearls of wisdom, as found in that blog)...and it is based within the home fandom of The Only Player That Matters, and that counts for a lot nowadays. (Personally I'm not a hater of absolutely everything Pittsburgh - I like Heinz ketchup, beans and pickles, for one thing - it's just the Guins and their Steeltown Sociopath supporter base.)

There is some good reading down there.
Some guy threatened to "light us up" if we ever show up on that board.
Whatever that means.
Guess you start thinking you can psychically hurt someone on a message board when your team doesn't win more than 30 games a season.


Speaking of jobbing

Jimmy Rixner sent us a link to the blog [ Two Minutes For Blogging ]
Whoever runs the show over there broke down the NHL teams and their fighters into classes.

He lists Laraque as the heavyweight.
Ruutu and Talbot are middleweights.

And Gary Roberts was listed as a cruiserweight.

This guy has never faced the business end of a Gary Roberts fist.



6 - 0

Buffalo finally wins a game.

8 - 1

Toronto finally shows up.

5 - 3
Ottawa finally loses.

3 - 0

Devils blow.

Nashville and Phoenix played or something.


And finally.

No clue how we missed this.
[B94 is back]

What a horrible radio station.
But you talk mid-1990's in Pittsburgh, you talk B94.
Hopefully they can steal "Bubba" back from the Burger King he is working at.
Good times.

More good times.

Anything that goes wrong for a place that employees John Fedko, is a must read.
[ Post Gazette ]

Mr. Earle read the news from a script (no TelePrompTer) and meteorologist Scott Harbaugh offered a forecast without any maps or fancy graphics. There was no additional video, live or packaged reports or any of the other elements usually found in a normal TV newscast. Commercials aired because they are operated out of WPXI's old Television Hill facility.

What a mistake.

When the bracelets come in, the first five to be sent out are going to Fedko.


Sorry if this was short. We've been taking care of the WWGRD.
Go Pens


Anonymous said...

Okay, explain the making of the pumpkin.

Anonymous said...

P.S. I've been meaning to bring this up for awhile, so I guess now's as good a time as any...

"Whatever happened to Mark Eaton?"

Admit it, you guys totally threw him over as soon as someone newer and older came along.
WWGRD if he knew he was getting Mark Eaton's seconds?

Don K. Show said...

talked to a friend of mine, and he's down for 5, so put me down for 10.

Is the max number and GR's number a coincidence, or is 10 a number so people don't get ice-bowled on the bracelets?

The Hebrew Hammer said...

Wow, a Pumpkin patch should definitely start making Gary Roberts Jack-O-Laterns.

Staff said...

Dave sent us a couple pumpkins in.
They're sick.

The way Mark Eaton is playing this year, we may have to do WWMED wristbands.

10 is the max just so people don't get ice-bowled.
Bless the soul of whoever buys one wristband, we want to make sure they get it.


Don K. Show said...

and that is the scariest pumpkin I've ever seen.

Putting that on my porch would have kids crying when they passed it.

Troy Loney said...

First, that pumpkin is sick.

Second, did anyone read in the PG yesterday about the home game ritual of the afternoon pick up game among staff? Apparently Shero scored a goal.

Shero > Recchi

Barrasso35 said...

I'm going to say debossed is the way to go because I will be out of town and away from Al Gore all weekend. Still, put me down for 5 bracelets, in black preferably, gold will work almost as well.

WWGRD? Buy these wristbands.

Oh yeah, I've got the address to Gary Roberts' agent, so if you wanted to send him a few, we could hook that up, I'm sure.

snoopyjode said...

i blacked out when i saw that pumpkin. that is some serious photoshop awesomeness. (oh, and i'm REALLY hoping one of the pumpkins is a sid pumpkin!!!)

anyone who wants a WWGRD wristband, go to paypal and open your account now. it takes a couple of days to verify your account, so the sooner you start the process the better.

for anyone who doesn't know: paypal is basically a middle man. it will allow us all to transfer money into someone's bank account directly from our bank accounts without ever seeing each other's private information. that way you don't have to worry about identity theft or some jackass draining your bank account.

this is gonna be awesome.

AC said...



AC said...



Lady Jaye said...

If the bracelets do well, can you venture into T-shirts? :) I'd proudly wear that to a pens game... although it would be under my jersey so I guess the point is moot.

I'm down for at least five bracelets.

On another note, WWMED sounds like an online medical journal.

Steal Thunder said...

I don't suppose I could get that bracelet in Flames colours and have it sent North of the border, eh?


Todd said...

The link to the PG (Bing is like, whatev.) actually is linked to TSN.

Just a heads up, and thanks for the laughs this morning (and every morning for that matter).

Anonymous said...

pens play new jersey on oct 17. pens at washington on oct 20. I'll fuckin' be there! Gary Roberts would never make a dumb mistake like that.

MummRaTheEverLiving said...

I'm sure I'm not the first person for which this has lodged the South Park movie directly into my brain:

So what would Gary Roberts do
If he were here today,
I'm sure he'd kick an ass or two,
That's what Gary Roberts'd do.

ericstaal said...

I got another 3 points last night.

Suck it, Jordan...

Hooks Orpik said...

--You can thank me later for being the first person to mention Paypal. I'm def. in for a bracelet.

I was about to lose my cool before opening that website, but after reading it, it should put a smile on your face.

Anyone who owns a "FIRE -----" website should have to be locked in a steel cage with their subject, no holds barred.

wilsmith said...

I would almost certainly buy a couple.

T-shirts next, no?

rachel said...

That is the scariest pumpkin I have seen. I've missed being here.

Hooks, nice link. I needed a laugh.

Did anyone notice that Eric Cairns will be signing at the NHL Powered store, who would want his autograph?

Tee said...

I would.

Anonymous said...

anyone remember on inside penguins hockey on fsn last year that dude that had eric cairns signature tatooed on his arm. what a douche. that guy actually owned an eric cairns jersey. haha

MummRaTheEverLiving said...

Eric Cairns wishes he were Martin Strbak.

Hooks, that link cracked my shit up. I'll have to share that around the workplace.

"Who own duh Pen?"

William of Loxley said...

Caps will be just like the Pirates. Eliminated from the Playoffs by January.

Anonymous said...

pens play the devils on october 17th

not the 20th

Adrienne said...

That awesomeness of that pumpkin was so severe I almost fainted. I'd love to come across that on halloween when I'm taking my little brother trick-or-treating.

I'm with the anonymous dude, Mark Eaton got tossed aside as soon as Gary Roberts came in. GR would kick your asses if he knew that.

At least the Prague game isn't going to be against Tampa Bay :D One more game I can attend next year!

Anonymous said...

Boulerice suspended for 25 games

Anonymous said...

to the anon: "Whatever happened to Mark Eaton?"

Mark Eaton is still around, quietly dominating and doing his own thing in the background.

Gary Roberts is in the foreground kicking all kind off ass.

So Roberts' gets the lionshare of the attention, but Eaton is still there. Quietly doing his job when you ask him. Not unlike Charlie Batch.

...But don't you dare suggest that would make Gary the Big Bozo.

Ashley said...

how i'd love to have that chandelier in my room..i'd never be able to move around, but it would kick ass. i bet that's what gary roberts has in his dining room.

Brett said...


Brett said...

Hahahaha - Skippy gets hosed!!! Nice!

Then again, I guess you could always go to eBay and type in WWGRD and get it cheaper without any restrictions on how many you buy...

Anonymous said...

gary roberts' chandelier is made of skulls and bones. it's true. his house originally to be used for an indy jones set, but lucas/speilberg deemed the chandelier too creepy.

Anonymous said...

PLease everyone, write this jerk and tell him he sucks....GO PENS!
Tix for SOLD OUT Caps vs. Penguins -- Caps Fans Only - $25

Reply to:
Date: 2007-10-17, 7:16PM EDT

If you say "Yins", eat "Primanti" and drink "Irons" I will NOT sell these tickets to you. I would rather eat the cost of my 4 season tickets for Saturday night's sold out game between the Caps and the should be called Kansas City Penguins. I don't care if you originally come from Allegheny county or drove a buggy in Lancaster before you moved to the DC area, you are not my targeted audience.

If you're a Caps fan and can prove it in person I will sell these tickets below the $37 face value at $25 each x 4 = 100 total. My seats are in Section 404, Row C, 4 seats together on the aisle -- on the end where the Caps shoot twice.

If you're a Hershey Bears fan, I will even throw in a "WOOOO" towel I got during the Calder Cup championship in 2006.

I'm serious. I can't stand anything about the sports teams from the City of Pittsburgh. I even booed Dr. J in the "Fish that Saved Pittsburgh" movie. Go cry in your terrible towels and complain more why Dave Wannstadt got beat by Navy on national TV last week (Ha Ha!). In short, Let's Go Caps!

If you're ready for a white out and want to take your friends and family to the Capitals without liquidating your 401k, drop me a line. These are awesome seats and I can't go because we're going to another function.

Must pick up either in Falls Church City or Herndon (Work). Interested? Send me a note with your favorite all time Caps moment.

Location: Falls Church. VA
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

PostingID: 452059627


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