Monday, October 29, 2007

Sunday Night's All Right

A couple of housekeeping measures first.
First off, we called that Ranger player Tommy Callahan,
but his name isn't Tommy.

We couldn't grasp the fact that someone out there had never seen "Tommy Boy."

And with the Buccigross thing, we weren't jobbing anyone.
We just wondered why NFL players found their way onto the NHL page.
We didn't click the link, so we don't know if it was a theme.

......................................................................................

[<span class=
The Blue Jackets have silently been making noise.
They are 6-3-1.
And they also had four shutouts in October -- the most in October in like 80 years.


[car.<span class=
Carolina has scored the most goals this season: 47

[<span class=
Ottawa has given up the least: 19

[min.<span class=
Goalie Niklas Backstrom suffered a groin injury Saturday. [ NHL.com ]
He's had a GAA of 1.98 and a .935%.
Josh Harding has also been a beast and may get the start Tuesday.

The Wild have called up a familiar name -- Nolan Schaefer.

............................................................


Amelia Earhart takes us...


Across the Atlantic


First Stop:

[phi.<span class=
7 - 3 - 0

The Flyers came back to Earth a little bit, with some losses in the Sunshine State.
They did beat Boston on Saturday.

And of course the big talk was about Randy Jones' hit on Patrice Bergeron:



Clearly that is a hit from behind.
But it's nowhere near the stuff we've grown accustomed to seeing from the penises.
Bergeron should know he's gonna get hit. Brace for it.
That kind of hit happens 10 times a game. Bergeron's a joke.
McKenzie sounds off. [ TSN ]

Replace Bergeron with Malkin or Crosby, though, and Jones would be in the witness-protection program right now.


[<span class=
5 - 4 - 0

If we ran Islesblog, boredom would ensue.
They played only one game this week...and they didn't even show up for it.
Rod "the Bod" Brindamour and Carolina beat them 8-3.

Unreal picture.
The only good thing that ever comes from Isles home games is the pictures.
For some reason, no other teams' home games are photographed like the Isles.
[ Yahoo images ]


[<span class=
3 - 6 - 1

The Devils opened their brand-new arena.
Prudential Center -- known as "The Rock."
By all accounts, it looks pretty sharp.

Too bad it will be half-empty every night.

The Senators ruined the grand opening with a 4-1 victory.



[<span class=
3 - 6 - 1

They lost to the Pens, beat the Devils, lost to Toronto.
There's gonna be a riot.

....................................................
Pens

[pit.<span class=
5 - 4 - 1

For whatever reason, there seems to be some type of "gloom and doom" attitude right now from media members and some fans.
That doesn't make sense.
First off, when you create expectations for anything, you immediately set yourself up for disappointment.
Yes, we all want the Pens to be good. But in an 82-game season, so much happens.
They have not played particularly bad, nor particularly good.
The fact that anyone would label this season thus far a disappointment would make them a huge joke.

What's the reason for not displaying disappointment in the season thus far?
How about in 2005-06 when they didn't win a game for a month.


This past week was okay.
Solid win against the Rangers. Bad loss against the Leafs.
A point salvaged from the Canadiens.
The only thing everyone agrees on is Mark Recchi being mud.

[Lloyd Jones----original concept PENBLOG JEFF]



Rumorblogs:

Big ups to link savy Gruntov at [LGP] for finding these gems.

There is a belief the Pittsburgh Penguins are talking to the Habs about prospect G Jaroslav Halak, who is with the Montreal's AHL affiliate in Hamilton. The Penguins want to strengthen their goaltending and have somebody to work with Marc-Andre Fleury. Apparently, the Habs covet Pittsburgh RW Colby Armstrong, but that asking price might be a little high for Penguins GM Ray Shero. [ Ottawa Sun ]


No, the Penguins are not actively seeking a goaltender to supplant Marc-Andre Fleury, but if the kid doesn't close some of the holes in his game, expect GM Ray Shero to take a serious run at renting veteran Olaf Kolzig if the Caps are sellers at the Feb. 26 trade deadline.
[
Larry Brooks]

Larry Brooks is a joke.
That's all we can say.
This goaltending issue will tear us all apart.

Bring her in.

Moving on.

-- We want people to call our mistakes, so we don't feel bad doing this:
In Molinari's [ PG ] recap, it says....

Crosby made it 3-2 at 8:16, completing a give-and-go with Ryan Malone, who replaced Mark Recchi on his left side at the start of the game, before throwing the puck past Price from near the left hash for his fourth goal.

Microsoft Word should add a feature to spellcheck that flags any time Malone and Crosby are mentioned in the same sentence on a scoring play.

-- Molinari on the Penguins ( Crosby, road trips, coaching ) [ PG ]

We're gonna mess up the explanation,
so here's the link to something about Lemieux's $21 million he received last week. [ Yahoo ]

Nice story about Tyler Kennedy, who we can all agree played well. [ Trib ]

And finally...

This upcoming week is going to be fun:



Minnesota finally got beat in regulation. Clearly they have been the story of the young season.
Their defense is tough.
They haven't scored a lot of goals, either.
This is the first time the Pens have gone to Minnesota since Jan 16, 2004.
They haven't won a game in Minnesota since November 10, 1992.

Another huge side story to this game:
BGL vs the Boogieman



Hopefully BGL plays.




From a pure hockey fan's perspective, this game is going to be fun.
You can't help but admire the talent of the ageless Joe Sakic.
The Avs are just nasty.

And to wrap up the week,
The Pens travel to the reservation.




More on the Penguins thus far. [ The Confluence ]

.......................................................................

Another message board for Melvin to destroy. [ Pens Underground ]

Kenny Melvin has been an assassin on every Pittsburgh sports website that has encouraged chat or commenting among people.
He's been kicked off of numerous message boards, most notably LetsGoPens, and is the sole reason why we have to moderate comments on this site.

Luckily for us, he's discovered YouTube and can now expand his empire to the rest of the world.

He's delivered a YouTube message specifically for us and LetsGoPens. [ KennyTube ]
Comedy at its finest.

The only thing better than leftovers from Pizza Hut is angering someone to the point where they make a video about their anger and jog in place while saying "suck it" repeatedly.

This video, along with the Mr. Roboto video (which reminded us of the scene in Silence of the Lambs where the guy dances in front of the mirror wearing the skin costume), has convinced us not to mess with the poor guy anymore.

Plus we all know this is all just an audition for when Melvin gets to appear on "To Catch A Predator."

Gravitas.

...........................................................................


Go Pens

39 comments:

Spencemo said...

Ah, young Mr. Melvin. What an attention whore. Apparently his mommy hasn't hugged him enough lately...or she told him he couldn't go trick-or-treating this year. Either way, it's still a good laugh...

Mike said...

"Bergeron's a joke"

Come on, give the guy a break.

FritoWill said...

this is what 5th graders do in the 21st century, ok so maybe the pensblog guys don't have a life or have no jobs (zing!), but who actually makes a youtube video to talk trash towards a couple of sportsblogs???

pensblog jeff said...

That was MY original ouellet photoshop, you backstabbing Blackbeards of Ass Piracy.

Fleury29 said...

Solid post tonight. I mean really... who hasn't seen Tommy Boy?

The Steelers Girl as goalie picture was horribly disturbing. It appears that the goalie equipment is not proportional, it's too small... she's like some sort of bizarre genetic experiment gone wrong. I look at the Pens logo on her shirt and it makes me want to throw up. Why would you do that? Why?

"Plus we all know this is all just an audition for when Melvin gets to appear on "To Catch A Predator." OMFG... I almost fell out of my seat when I read this. God damn that's funny.

Snoopyjode, it appears Kenny is going to take his shirt off whenever he wants. Your prayers have been answered.

Oh, and I've decided you can't live in the past forever. I'm living in the now.

-The Artist Formerly Known As Barrasso35

Arlow said...

Wow...that's the first I've seen the video or even heard of it. I must say that it's an interesting way to start the day. Is it just me or does he have the beginnings of a porn-stache in the works?

rwarner174 said...

Kenny needs to do more research.
I must of missed the amendment to the constitution that gives on the right to post on the pensblog? What a tool. I'm sure eventually he will even get banned by youtube.

Adrienne said...

Wow, Melvin is a retard, and looks more like a loser then I could have ever expected.

Now I know why he's such a bitch, he can't get laid.

The Flyers standings right now confuse the shit out of me, I just can't handle the concept of them doing well... It doesn't make sense :(

snoopyjode said...

fleury29/T.A.F.K.A.B.35 (that's going to take a while to get used to haha) - i just died a little inside, domo arigato. :P

and seriously, anybody that's ready to write the season off after 10 games needs to just calm the hell down. a lot can happen in 72 games - just relax. remember, less than 2 months ago we were all desperate for hockey. well, we got what we wanted. if you thought that the pens would simply breeze through this season (or go undefeated!), then you're a joke.

J.S. said...

"Plus we all know this is all just an audition for when Melvin gets to appear on "To Catch A Predator."

Sucks that I don't have P-shop at work. That's ok though, I'll just job him once I get home. Conveniently, "Predator" is on tonight at 10 on MSNBC.

and maybe it was just the highlights I saw, but The Rock was showing many empty seats on opening night. It's a shame that such a boring team got a nice arena.

Jonny V said...

I don't even have anything to say about the shirtless wonder. Although I'm pretty sure I was right on in everything i've ever said about him. Pray for his parents. Or curse them.

Barrasso, that was a huge step. Outstanding showing, hopefully we see some good playing by Flower to justify the change in avatars.

And I don't know about the rest of yinz, but I personally thought that we were going to be the Patriots of the NHL this year. Those fuckers are showing no mercy like as if they're coached by Kreese from the Cobra Kai dojo.

Nathan said...

You do realize that the Pens are currently in second in the division and all of 3 points out of first, right? There was a long period a lot farther on in the season last year that the Pens were scuffling around .500 and around the bottom of the playoff picture. I don't think getting to the playoffs is going to be a problem this season. Especially if someone runs over Mark Recchi on his way to his car after the next home game.

I mean -- FIRE THERRIEN!!!! TRADE FLEURY!!!!!

Steve In Denver said...

Closing the post with "gravitas" is f'ing hilarious. KM is a timebomb. And he looks like Beck with acne and stupid hair. If my kids went to his school, I'd be afraid.

Pens visiting Denver this week....my first Pens game in several years.....WOOOOOOOOOOOO! Can't wait!!!

wilsmith said...

Tire to fire up the video editing software.

StuporDave said...

Man, you guys should be careful. Looks like Kenny has been working out and it would look real bad if any of ya'll got a beatdown from him. Or if he turns out to be a serial killer. Maybe it's time Sir Gary Roberts sat the boy down and had a talk with him.
Is it just me or is Crosby due for a 4-5 point night?

Spencemo said...

"Have a seat. I'm Chris Hansen..."

"OH NO, CHRIS HANSEN?!" shoots self in head...

Hooks Orpik said...

stupordave, i agree. one of these nights bing is just going to explode and rack up a bunch of points. that therrien dropped his 5'10, balding anchor of a linemate is definitely a positive step.

kenny melvin is the biggest tool this side of the home depot. wowzers.

Brett said...

Nathan,
regarding the fact we're only 3 points out of first place in the division.. that fact is misleading due to how few games the teams have played.

we've played 10 games which is roughly 12% of the season.

11 points divied by 0.12 = 91 points projected total

philly's 14 points in 10 games, on the other hand..

14 points divided by 0.12 = 116 points projected total

sure, these numbers are barely worth discussing at this point, but still..

wilsmith said...

time fire up spellcheck too. whooooo

Staff you can deny my comments next time I make a typo so idiotic.

Adrienne said...

Watching KM's video of doing Mr. Roboto- it's not even funny to laugh at him anymore. It's just depressing :/

Twinkie said...

It looks like Kenny's new catchphrase is "Good day. I said good day." That takes a whole other level of creativity the rest of us just don't possess.

Anonymous said...

Brett,

I think your analysis is misleading, not Nathan's. Fact is, if we win our next 2 games and Philly loses, we're ahead of them in the standings. You can play with your proportions and do your math tricks all you want, but it's still way too early to panic.

I wonder what our magic # is...

Mark

Anonymous said...

i bet KM drives one of those annoying ice cream trucks around school children.

chris hanson should dedicate an entire episode to those ppl...

go pens.

wilsmith said...

seriously. What'd I tell you?

Ted said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Ted said...

This was my first experience with Mr. Melvin, and I am forever scarred. I feel sorry for everyone who frequents here.

Ted said...

Kenny Melvin...what a fucking ding dong...I feel sorry for everyone here.

Brett said...

anonymous,

I guess philly's 35/22 goals for/against vs our 30/33 is misleading, too?

Brett said...

last comment was directed at Mark, i apologize for listing you as "anonymous".

In addition, I just took another look at the Rangers' stats coming into tonight's game against TB, and I'm blown away at how quietly good their goaltending has been. They are like 3rd in the league for best goals-against. If they ever figure out how to score, they certainly will be division contenders. Keep that in mind when proudly stating that we'll have "no problem" making the playoffs.

Anonymous said...

i was in a coffee shop in amsterdam this past sunday, doing what you do in amsterdam. All of a sudden, what should the r&b music videos on every tv in the place change to, but the pens-leafs game. what a bummer (it was the end) and a thrill (i was ridiculously high and in a foreign land).

Fleury29 said...

twinkie, Melvin has been using the "Good day to you, sir, I said good day," line since the first video of his I saw which was on You Tube at least in June of 2006, right after Big Joke's motorcycle accident.

That was, unbeknownst to me, my first run in with Mr. Kenny Melvin although, at the time, I didn't know his name. Someone just sent me his video link from You Tube because he was talking about the accident and it was pretty damn amusing.

I didn't know that "Stillers Guy" and "Kenny Melvin" were one and the same until someone in Commentorblog found his Constitution video a few days ago. Then, there was the horror of Mr. Roboto. Well, at least it's close to Halloween. Is anyone from The Pensblog going as shirless Melvin? If so, Commentorblog demands pictures.

As far as the, "Good day to you, sir, I say good day," I believe he stole that from one of the best television shows ever produced, News Radio, but I'm not 100% sure. Though, if he did steal it from News Radio it was Matthew (Andy Dick) who said it so it would be rather appropriate, if you think about it.

johnny v, I love the Karate Kid reference. Nathan, Fleury's here to stay, he's our number one netminder and his name will be on the Stanley Cup before too long so show some respect.

Good day to you, Commentorblog... I said good day!

stokes said...

hey everyone,
I'm late on the KM story, but i saw the video. Obviously this guy is disturbed. He's banned from commentorblog, so we should probably just keep it that way; ignore that homo and talk about something, anything else but him.

Anonymous said...

This says it all


http://i138.photobucket.com/albums/q252/whgnailer/Jobber.jpg

Jonny V said...

How many factors were there last year? We had the losing streak, and then the unbeaten streak. We had injuries to Eaton which had a direct hand in both. The season's young, the hockey's...uh, pretty good, and we are going to have more losing streaks, winning streaks, and I'm sure more of Kenny's white-trash built naked chest. It's like he lost a ton of weight and his skin is elastic. Holy saggy man-breasts, Batman!

Brett said...

I wonder if anyone scoured the ice for a disturbing piece of hockey memorabilia tonight..

how much would you pay for jagr's teeth? lol

Anonymous said...

SnoopyJode = The Pensblog's own Kenny Melvin!

Mark

Kristin said...

the "I said Good Day" quote comes Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory.
I haven't had a chance to watch this video but I think it's going to be a good time when I get around to it.

Nathan said...

Well, almost everybody got the sarcasm... Oh well, can't win 'em all.

Anonymous said...

Mark, wtf? You = The Pensblog's own homo.

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