Monday, September 24, 2007

Being that this is really our first full season to get a crack at previewing teams, we decided to contact other bloggers to have them tell the stories of their respective team's season.
We will be running a team per day, possibly two teams, possibly six, all through September.

Grease from [ Oilblobosphere ] was kind enough to supply us a look into the Oil Country.


Division: Northwest
Last Season: (32-43-7) 71 Points
Playoffs: No Dice


Ales Hemsky- Dustin Penner


I love being kicked in the balls. Hard and repeatedly. And that's why I'm an Oiler's fan.

Season Preview

If the Edmonton Oilers intend on being competitive this year, they need a few too many miracles. Raffi Torres, Shawn Horcoff, Ethan Moreau, and Ales Hemsky all need to have the year of their lives. Dustin Penner and Sheldon Souray need to earn at least half of what they'll be making, and guys like Matt Greene, Denis Grebeshkov and Joni Pitkanen have to step up to the plate and be at least competent. And Theoden has to ride until dawn. Also, everyone has to stay healthy for No love rashes.

So who's new:
Dustin Penner, Sheldon Souray, Joni Pitkanen, Mathieu Garon, Geoff Sanderson, Denis Grebeshkov, and Dick Tarnstrom returns to the fold once again.

Who's out:
Jason Smith, Ryan Smyth, Marc-Andre Bergeron, Jussi Markkanen, Joffrey Lupul, Toby Petersen, Brad Winchester, Petr Sykora. And we didn't sign Jan Hejda!?

Why you should watch:

Ales Hemsky. This could be the year for Ales Hemsky to put the dingle in the dangle and come out guns blazing as a certified Star. If you've never watched him play, do yourself a favour and YouTube this kid. Brighter minds than mine are predicting a 90 point season from Ales, and with Shawn Horcoff (one of the smartest players on the ice in the NHL, period), and the 245lb Dustin Penner rounding out the line, we may just see something the Oilers haven't had in years: a killer power play. And that's what it has to be all about for the Oilers this season. You don't pay Sheldon Souray the Ryan Smyth money (contain...overpowering...rage) unless you plan to have him belting rubber at the opposing goalie's face all game. He's shit for defense (his position), so you draw as many penalties as you can and make it happen.
Who'll step up: My prediction is Patrick Thoreson pulls together his rookie year experience and comes out with a hard on for goals. Thor was excellent last year and only needs to convert all the scoring chances he has proven to be skilled at creating.

Of interest:

Sam Gagner. The bright light of falling to the bottom sixth of the league this year was the Oilers' opportunity to draft this young player. Earning the MVP in the snoozer Super Series, Gagner showed quickness, drive, and pure hockey sense that will likely get him 9 games in the Big Show. The Oiler's are so desperate to fill forward holes right now ("San" Fernando Pisani is out indefintely with ulcerative colitis) that if he really shows up, little Samwise may find himself starting his NHL career a little too early.


Will Raffi Torres settle down into something resembling consistency? Will Dwayne Roloson, at 37, be able to keep as sharp as he has been? Will it help to have Mathieu Garon waiting in the wings? Will Pisani be ready by Christmas? Will Pitkanen live up to his early promise and will Souray learn to skate?

What I'll predict:

On paper, Oilers finish anywhere between 12th-14th in the West. But what's paper but some kind of mashed up pulp? I say Oilers finish the season just squeaking into the playoffs, battling it out with the Vancouver Canucks, Luongo out due to a painful groin issue. After that, who knows? Sometimes this team can surprise you.

The Oiler are pretty much screwed. Last year at this time they were coming off a great season, and looked loaded.

But not anymore.
Unless Penner turns all-world and Souray has a big year.
It will be hard for this team to make the playoffs.
They don't have a proven goal scorer. Their goalies are OK.
They will have to play balls-out to get to 14th place.

And hopefully, we are dead wrong.


Spencemo said...

Makes me feel better about jobbing that Oilers fan in line at Cedar Point on Saturday...

snoopyjode said...

hello again, everyone!!! i feel like it's been ages. i've been sick since thursday, and i am just now feeling somewhat coherent again.

1. the i hate crosby site can suck it. i died a little inside when i saw that photoshop.
2. jobbing gary roberts = BRAVE. ac, i'd sleep w/one eye open from now on. (btw, i thought exactly the same thing as hooks orpik about roberts using may as an example because it's a warmer month.)
3. i wish i earned $25 grand per minute. holy SHIT that's a lot of money for choking. i'm calling you out, jonny v! ha ha, i'm j/k - i swear! :) you have to admit, though, that no human being is worth what these guys are being paid. these guys (ALL professional athletes, actors, and singers too) get tons of money yet hardworking schmucks like us get dick. oh well, it's capitalism, baby! and i should admit, if i was being paid $25 grand per minute, i would probably be perfectly okay with it. ;)
4. i read this entire post and the only thing i can remember about it right now is the "i love being kicked in the balls" thing. HILARIOUS!!!

now, i have to go take more drugs so i can feel loopy and get better. being sick sucks ass.

Hooks Orpik said...

``Souray's point shot is unbelievable. No one's is better, IMO.

``Edmonton has a lot of supposedly quality young forwards (Pouliot, Schremp, Nilsson, JF Jacques, etc) but none of them have added up to anything at the NHL level.

``I stumbled across some jobber pitcher for the Yankees named Joba something-or-other. Pronounced Job-ba.

Apparantely he's some young, great pitcher, but to not ruin his arm the Yankees created something called Joba Rules (I can't make this up). So if he pitches 2 innings, he has to wait 2 days to throw again. 1 inning is 1 day off, etc.

I found this mesmorizing. Joba rules. Indeed, Joba does rule.

Loser Chris said...

Hemsky is money. That guy was the best player on the ice when the Oilers played Carolina for the Cup. The first things when I started up NHL 08 was trade Recchi for Hemsky.

Barrasso35 said...

I was pretty happy when I got home from work today.

See you in February.

Jonny V said...

Snoop! get well, lady! It sucks that you're sick with the last few days of nice weather, and don't even start the discussion of overpaid shmucks. Some of the people defending this country are forced to live check to check, and entertainers (all athletes and actors fall into that category) make an obscene amount of money to play games. But fuck it, that's the state of the world these days, I'm sure it's just a matter of time until we're watching this for entertainment (from Idiocracy, an underrated Mike Judge flick)...and i kinda flew off the handle at suggesting i would wear a football jersey to a hockey game. Upon further analysis, I'd kick my own ass for doing that.

Barrasso, congratulations on the score dude. And hooks, I think it's pronounced Joe-ba, and when it comes to jobbing, as the pensblog staff have illustrated, there are no rules.

Oh, and the Oilers suck.

Elly said...

Solid Oil preview. They're going to have to play out of their brains to get back up to their former playoff shape.


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