Friday, September 7, 2007

Gary Roberts Sat Alone In A Boggy Marsh

Watched NFL Opening Night.
We came away learning two things:

Hurricane Katrina was a hurricane.
A coach for the Colts has the last name "Mud."


Sidney and some of the Pens personally delivered season-ticket packages to fans' homes on Thursday. [ Post-Gazette ]
Can you imagine your doorbell ringing at 11:00 in the morning, and opening your door to find Gary Roberts on your doorstep, already in DDT position?

"Ms. Kilgore has two seats and belongs to the Penguins Booster Club. After watching the club for so long, she told Mr. Crosby, "Next to Mario [Lemieux], you're the best."

She also offered a no-nonsense prediction for 2007-08: "I don't think you'll win the [Stanley] Cup this year. Not yet. Maybe next year."

We offered the prediction that Ms. Kilgore should keep her mouth shut.

Needless to say, whoever markets for the Pens is an absolute genius.
You rarely see professional athletes do this.
But whatev.
If you are a Pirate fan, wait a few months. We're sure some of those guys will be picking up your garbage every Thursday eventually.


The Canes unveiled their unis. You know where to go. [ NHLToL ]

Real organizations commemorate their own anniversaries.

A Washington blog sent us their reaction to the Pens uniforms. [ Japer's Rink ]

This is clearly the first shot, in what is going to become a big-time blog rivalry.

We'd respond, but we were blinded by the glare of our two Stanley cups.

Thanks again for choking.

The Rangers are retiring Brian Leetch's #2.
[ Battle of New York ]

Yeah, like Brian Leetch didn't have his picture taken with Ron Newcomer


Speaking of which


Inspired by J Schiff


The Penn State Nittany Lions and Coyotes are jobbing each other over use of the term "whiteout," where fans all wear white. [ AOL Fanhouse ]

The impending lawsuit will be thrown out when the jury realizes Phoenix hasn't been in the playoffs in 30 years.

Apparently, Bic didn't want to step on toes (or were trying to be cool) when they released their office accessory in 1966 -- spelled Wite-Out.

Other instances:

The original Winnipeg Whiteout was in response to Calgary's Sea (C) of Red in the 1987 playoffs.

73 times more intimidating than a Whiteout.

In 2004, the Flyers did the "Orange Crush" against Tampa Bay.

Not to be outdone, the Ottawa Senators organized a Homo-Out in the 2007 playoffs.


Niedermayer joins Saku Koivu at NotTeamLeaderBlog. [ TSN ]

He met with the media Thursday to say he has not made a decision about retiring,
and told them if he does return, he would be late for training camp.

If the rest of the Ducks followed him by example, no one would be at camp.


Pens offseason pic goes up to the rafters Friday night.




Stanley P. Kachowski said...

And you DAMN well know Gary Roberts spent his twenties between the sheets.

Banging hot broads.

Not to mention, his teens, 30s, and 40s.

One of the best albums of the 90s, staff.

Korn said...

That album f'n blows. My roommate freshman year played it over and over and I wanted to kill him.

Great move by the Pens. But seriously Ms Kilgor, if Sidney Crosby shows up at your door again, don't tell him he's second best (even if it is true) and don't tell him his team's not going to win. Smile, get an autograph and maybe give him a cookie. I'm sure Sid would have appreciated a cookie...

Loser Chris said...

"Homo-Out"... Best. Slam. Ever.

Barrasso35 said...

You all suck... I wish I had season tickets. :(

Okay, now that that pity party is over, I'd just like to say that I agree with Adam and if I had them, I would swim around in them like Scrooge McDuck when they arrived in the mail.

Staff, not to knock the blog title today but if you continue with the song in this fashion you eventually arrive at the part that would say, "Gary Roberts lingered last in line for brains and the one he got was sorta rotten and insane." Now, I'm no expert but I'm pretty sure if you said that to Gary Roberts he would murder you with his pinkie toe.

I don't know why everyone is mad at Alice Kilgore. The season hasn't even started yet and last season the Pens only made it through 5 games before they were done. What she said doesn't sound hateful to me, it sounds like carefully guarded optimism. She's a Penguins fan, for Chrissakes... all our optimism must be closely guarded.

LET'S GO PENS! Drop the puck, already!

snoopyjode said...

re: alice kilgore

W.O.W. she might be right - no one truly knows what will happen anyways, so who really cares about what an old lady thinks - but DAMN!!! to say that to his FACE?! unbelievable.

his response ("well, we're going to try anyways.") was PRICELESS! it is a testament to sid's true character that he responded to her the way he did. he is a much better person than i am - i probably would have uttered a few obscenities and threatened to pop her in the mouth.

Stoosh said...

Even when Caps fans attempt to make jokes, they miss the mark.

For instance, what the hell is that Crosby jersey doing with an "A"? It's a new season, kids. If you're going to job Crosby like that, at least give him some props and put the "C" on the jersey.

Then again, I shouldn't expect Caps fans to pay this much attention to detail. They're still too busy trying to figure out how Ovechkin's point totals last year dropped 14 points from the year before.

Lloyd said...

I agree to the Great album.

Their new CD is pretty good too (2005 i think)

/fires up the iPod and looks for PotUSA

wilsmith said...

The Capitals have fans?

and also, as a PSU student, it's so disappointing to know that our school is pretty much the only big time school where they have tell everyone to wear the same color to a certain game. has anyone ever watched a michigan, ohio st, wisconsin or tennessee game? They're all in red or blue or orange, and I doubt anyone has to tell them on a weekly basis.

Hooks Orpik said...

I live in Arlington VA, where the Caps just built a new practice rink....On top of a ghetto ass mall's parking garage. That's right, parking garage. (It's actually kinda nice, though)

I am going to crash their training camp next week. It may be September, but it's never to early to job.

Maybe if I get lucky their owner will try to choke me out like he did to a fan a couple of seasons ago. If that is the case, I will join the commenterblog as lawsuit city.

Korn said...

Leonsis is fat. Can his face get any more red? (I have no idea how to create a link)

I live in Fairfax, VA is it really worth driving in to harass the Caps fans? At least if we're both there, we know we'll outnumber them.

john said...

What type of car was Sidney driving?

A jag?

Hooks Orpik said...

korn --i'll scout it out and let you know. they're gonna be literally less than a mile and a half from me, so it's no sweat for me.

And I'm not directly going after the fans, that's smallfry. You gotta go for the head of the snake, Lazy 8. I call him lazy because he doesn't play any defense, you see.

Hockey can not get here soon enough. Go Pens.

AJ said...

not to be a poo... but Gary Roberts should be alone in a "Boggy Marsh".

What is the story behind Newcomer? The photos are fantastic.

Stoosh said...

Allow me to take a different look at this Alice Kilgore-Sidney Crosby interaction. Dare I say, by the time it's all said and done, we may all be standing back and appreciating the sheer, unabashed genius of the old girl.

Everyone knows that there are few things dumber in today's NHL than challenging the talents and the drive of one Sidney Crosby. Other than trying to talk question Gary Roberts's manhood or agreeing to a fistfight with Derek Boogaard, there's probably not a one.

You crack two of Sid's teeth with your stick and try some pre-lockout clutch-and-grab tactics on him while the ref looks the other way? Cool, hoss. He'll just make one of his life's missions to humiliate your squad in each and every one of the eight guaranteed games you play against him each year.

You want to inexplicably leave him off the Canadian Olympic team? No big deal, Great One. In his quest to eventually break most of your records, he'll throw up a four-point night AND score a backhanded while falling on his ass with his back to net just for good measure. And then he'll throw a quick glance up to your seats in the owners' box, just to make sure you saw it.

He gets jobbed on the Calder in favor of Ovechkin so the following year, he becomes the league's youngest scoring champion ever. And he beats Ovechkin in the scoring race by 28 points.

He misses the playoffs one year, he promises the fans it won't happen again, and then the following season helps lead the team to a 47-point turnaround and their first playoff appearance in six years.

We'll never know for sure whether Alice Kilgore was 100% aware of the fact that Sid generally makes your life a living hell when you challenge him. Yet with the brass of a riverboat gambler, she told him to his face that she doesn't think they'll win the Cup this year. For good measure, she even qualified that with a "MAYBE next year."

I'm sure Sid was cordial in his response. But I wouldn't be surprised if I'd seen two quarter-sized holes burned into the wall behind where Alice Kilgore was standing. And if Sid raises the Cup this June watch if he doesn't give a nod to Alice Kilgore in his postgame interviews.

The old gal knows what's up.

karri said...


A few people, like Tiff, posted this HTML Tag for Links...


(now, without a space between the quote marks and the http address, type the address)


(then type)

">click me<

(or whatever you want it to say)

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I hope this works for you. :)

EmDubs said...

Woo hoo!

The Pirates fired Dave Littlefield!

Korn said...


Thanks for the assist. No longer will I wander in html confusion.

PittPensFan said...

In other news, Tom Barrasso has emerged from his underground bunker to take the Director of Goaltending Development job with the Carolina Hurricanes. He's expected to work closely with Director of Player Development Ron Francis.

Elly said...

Wow, Ms. Kilgor's got some balls (well, perhaps not literally, but I don't want to find out), but man, it's a good state of fandom to be in that you can say that to the leader of the second coming of your team and he responds as politely as if his own grammie just told him to get a hair cut. Sure, the Pens might not win this year, but it takes a pair to say it like that. Good on Ms. Kilgor and the Pens administration for putting something like that together. That's one of the reasons hockey is such a personal sport to be a fan of.

Loser Chris said...

Wow, because Tom Barrasso is known for his wonderful work with young goaltenders.

Spencemo said...

OK, I'm trying Karri's HTML MySpace Page

Barrasso35 said...

stoosh, you're a genius. Alice Kilgore for Finals MVP.

pittpensfan, good investigative journalism.

loser chris, I know exactly what you meant but at first I thought you meant that Barrasso had a, uh, shall we say, predilection towards, "young goaltenders," a'la Michael Jackson, and I seriously busted up laughing.

Matthew said...

Stoosh... you are very keen. I couldn't agree more about Mrs. Doubtfire's commnents.


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