Sunday, September 30, 2007

And So It Begins


Game time.

But someone forgot to pay the bills.
The lights wouldn't come on at game time, and the game was suspended for about 30 minutes.

Mike Cammalleri scores two goals for the Kings, as they beat the Ducks 4-1.

If this is the NFL, ESPN would give us a stat of a defending champion losing their first game of the next season and what has happened to the last 15 teams that did it.
Gay.

The game saw 18 penalties.
Recap

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The leading scorer in the preseason?


Joe Pavelski: 200-point season.
Write it down.

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Shawn Roarke gives us 82 reasons to rejoice in hockey's return. [ NHL.com ]

1. Pittsburgh’s Sidney Crosby taking the next step on his journey to greatness. Can he reach 147 points this season, which would mean he accomplished the same 27-point increase Wayne Gretzky had from his second season to his third?

8. The outdoor game in Buffalo on New Year’s Day. It sold out in mere minutes and features Crosby against goalie Ryan Miller of the Sabres. What better way to kick off a new year?

48. Speaking of Jordan Staal, what’s better than watching the teenager kill penalties in that relentless hound-dog style that netted him a rookie record of seven shorthand goals.

oh, and.....

59. Running into old friends at rinks across the country –- be they sportswriters, team personnel or players.

Someone forgot their target audience.

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Canadiens vs. Blues for all the marbles in the Tournament of Logos.
Give it a vote. [ NHLToL ]

There was big-league jobbing going on over there.
Some turd jumped in and rigged the voting, giving Montreal 60,000 votes.

It was probably some moron who thought he would make a difference in the world by rigging a poll on the internet.

Also...............


That guy from that website found this on SportsLogos.net as a submitted secondary logo for the Vancouver Canucks.

But wait.


It appears the logo for some Hostess-like company seeped into the subconscious of whoever designed the logo.

And someone decided to play on the "VANCOUVER" print on the new Canucks jersey.


What a jobber.

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Oh, yeah, the Pens played Saturday night and lost.
They finish the preseason 1-3-2.

[<span class=[pit.<span class=
4 - 3

[ TSN ]

Game


Not much to talk about.
Everyone is a little too worked up about the defense.

Let's all take a deep breath.

And please.

If you think Danny Markov is still coming, you're a mess.

Picture: Danny Markov not playing for the Penguins.

Get used to it.

If the Penguins sign Markov, we will suspend ourselves for two days.

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BettmanBlog

What is it about major sports-league commissioners that makes everyone want to kill them and see their lives ruined?

In the Florida Panther season preview, we let a comment go through that was a spam comment that directed everyone to go buy Bettman-hate t-shirts.

FireBettman.com is a site that is so poop that we actually tried wiping our computer screen with toilet paper instead of hitting the back button.

a) Who has enough hatred for another man to start a blog about him?
b) Be glad the NHL is back and stop complaining about things you have no control over.
c) If Jesus Christ was the commissioner of the NHL, someone would start FireJesus.com.
d) To our chagrin, no one has some weird goth site at FireJesus.com or FireChrist.com.

We have so much faith that people care more about watching hockey than touching themselves over Gary Bettman's management of the league, we're gonna link the shirts.


More colors are available, so we suggest getting one with a red background so that the blood from people smacking you in the mouth for being a moron will blend in.

Bettman shirts at CafePress


In a related story, BusinessWeek released their list of Top 100 Power People in Sports.

Bettman came in at number 27.

Number 400,356,000,786,143,962 is the guy from FireBettman.com.

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We have another unreal site courtesy of the boys at [ Faceoff Factor ]

WhatIfSports.com.
Pit any two teams in history against each other in an algorithm's wet dream.

Our initial urge was to do the 1993 Pens/Isles series.
But who wants to even think about that.

So we tackled the 1996 Panthers/Pens series.


Sad.

Game 1 Box Score
Pens win 4-3 on a late goal by Neil Wilkinson.

Game 2 Box Score
Nedved with 2 goals in a 5-1 win.

Game 3 Box Score
Pens win 5-3.

Game 4 Box Score
Panthers stave elimination with a 3-2 win.

Game 5 Box Score
Lemieux scores 5 seconds in. Registers a hat trick in the first period.
Pens win 7-5, clinch series.

That's as real as it gets.
Nedved was a machine in this series.

Yeah, and Dave Roche had 30 minutes of ice time in game 5.
That surpasses his career total.

Homo

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OPENING FACEOFF COUNTDOWN

Seriously...5 days...

9 comments:

Brian said...

Haven't watched the Daily Show much in recent years, but a friend pointed me to this clip:

http://battleofalberta.blogspot.com/2007/09/raffi-on-daily-show.html

Good stuff.

Barrasso35 said...

It makes me sad to see poor ol' Tom Barrasso huddled in his net for fear of being clocked by rubber rats.

It depresses me to think about the '96 series.

Nice to see Ulfie, though.

The Hebrew Hammer said...

Actually guys i'm pretty sure there wouldn't be a firing website for everyone. I'm sure there wouldn't have been a fireHitler or fireStalin website

tecmo_bowl_bo_jackson said...

FireChrist.com. That word pairing makes me laugh everytime I look at it. Like an obnoxious, uncontrollable laugh thats starting to piss me and people around me off. But I can't stop reading it. Well done.

Jonny V said...

Hey, did u guyz here the Steelers are playing against their old coaches today? I didn't even know that. I wish I could have seen a story playing up that angle in printed or televised news coverage. And I can't beleive I didn't notice, but why the hell isn't that fantasy hockey league a head-to-head league? More chances at shit talking in those leagues. Oh well, at least I didn't pick Selanne and Pronger and Forbskin

Jonny V said...

I hate Pronger because of his hot wife and because he demands trades at her whim. I dint mix him and Niedermayer up at all in the above comment no.

Jonny V said...

Who's getting tickets to this one??
Pens in Prague

canaanregulatesblog said...

haha....brian, thanks for the link.

Matt N said...

ahh, the perfect reason to bring back Jagr!

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