Tuesday, August 14, 2007

Monday Job

You never realize how big of a joke your life is until you run a hockeyblog and it's mid August.
But there are things to do.......

Job Tour remix

It almost feels like we are a terrorist group when we claim a jobbing.
But we visited our old friend Fedko tonight.
We said we were mad at the Pirates for showing a Barry Bonds tribute and not showing Gary Roberts.
We then said "Gary Roberts made Barry Bonds."
It all got through.
Expect the video on youtube later this week.
PCNC does re-air the Fedko phoney zone at three or so in the afternoon.


Not much going on in the NHL.

Alex Auld signed with the Coyotes
, so they can lose even more games.

And well.

The Senators signed their number one pick from 2007

Picture: Two Senator fans celebrate


Nothing else is going on

Go Pens
Winter in the Sun
Game #74
March 22, 2007
Dirty Deeds... Pens Lose

3 - 1
Well, right away, you could tell there was something weird about the ice.
The paint on the ice was brighter than your balls.
Then we are told that the Islanders put a new ice surface down.

Why change the ice now when you're moving into Running Bull Arena in the fall?

The Islanders came out flying tonight. They are fighting for their collective playoff lives.

During the national anthem, Ricky D. thinks about how he is going to show off for some little boys tonight.

Not too much was happening early.
Sidney Crosby played for about 8 seconds during the first 8 minutes.

Campoli tries to job Gonchar, but he gets caught.

Not much happened on that power play, other than Recchi forgetting what he's doing and brings an offsides call the Pens way.

The Pens take their 44th too-many-men-on-the-ice penalty of the season.

Huge save by Fleury on Miroslav Satan.
How long has Satan been in the league? Who doesn't lift that puck?

With about 3 minutes left in the first, the My Two Sons line comes up big.

Talbot gets an unofficial assist on the goal.
Roberts comes into the zone, dominates, and gets it over to Colby...who buries it.
A loud "whooooooooooooo!" resonates throughout the Nassau Coliseum.
Those away-team goal celebrations are what the playoffs are all about.

Ravishing Rick Rude celebrates the goal.
Look at those pants.

Anonymous said...

Dudes! Please please PLEEZ keep up the pedophile and Injun jokes! AWESOME. How else would I know you were a bunch of flabby goateed losers who jerk off to YouTube videos because you're too cheap to pony up for pay-porn? And the Photoshop competition? AWESOME!!! Although why not just use scissors and Elmer's? Seeing as nobody KNOWS HOW TO USE THE FUCKING SCALE COMMAND.

You lost your wit. The homer/self-hating Burgher comes out when the Pens lose. Take a deep breath. And go fuck yourselves.




snoopyjode said...

ha ha! can't wait for the fedko video.

Christina said...

yesss another fedko job...you guys are awesome

Jason said...

cant wait for the video. i can picture one of two reactions from fedko after he heard the name gary roberts: either he's so mad at his producer for letting that sneak by that hes about to have a stroke, or he's smilin like a butchers dog thinking his ratings are gonna go up.

anyone buying madden today?

snoopyjode said...

hey, where can i find that original (unphotoshopped) picture of the igloo? it's a stunning shot.

Stoosh said...

This is one drawback to having DirecTV instead of Comcast...no PCNC.

I do, however, get plenty of Nightly Sports Call whenever I want because we get UPN. I say, there are few things more jarring than flipping to UPN at 10:35 PM and seeing Bob Smizik and his deflated balloon of a neck or Ron Cook and his spray-on beard guest-hosting with Pomps. Smizik's eyebrows might very well have their own central nervous system, and dude looks like he belongs in Madame Tussaud's Wax Museum.

Stoosh said...

How far has sports talk media in Pittsburgh sunk?

We get Fedko hamming it up on PCNC.

We get Pomps (who is awesome) being dragged down like the Titanic when he has to share time on Nightly Sports Call with Smizik the Wax Figure or Ron Cook's beard.

We get the sham that is the Sunday Sports Showdown on KDKA where I get three writers screaming at each other and Paul Alexander showing off his bad orange suntan.

There's that other asstastic Sunday night show on WTAE, which looks like it's filmed either in my basement or the original OLN hockey set.

Bendel and Benz have all the chemistry of a Guns N' Roses reunion.

Junker is great on Junker & Crow, but Eddie Crow makes Bendel & Benz look like radio geniuses. Hopefully they're waiting for Crow's contract to run out so they can hire Savran.

Mark Madden's act has become so transparent you could use it as a window. His show used to be great, but there's just something about hearing a forty-something, grown-ass man resorting to "mom jokes" that comes off as, well...ridiculous. Even his hockey talk hasn't been that good because there's little for Pens fans to complain about. All he does now is ask callers to prove his hockey strategy wrong, and then hangs up on them when they try to disagree with him. But he IS a world championship dek hockey coach.

When will ESPN Radio 1250 wise up and give Colony his own show? How do they let turds like Chris Mack and Ken Laird behind the mike to handle a show, but leave Colony to do Pittsburgh Sportscenters? If Colony were in a coma, he'd be better behind a mike than Chris Mack.

That leaves SportsBeat with Stan on FSN-Pittsburgh. Other than Stan's tendencies to let yinzers run wild with their comments a bit too much, the Cowardly Lion is a rational Pittsburgh sports fan's salvation.

Stoosh said...


I planned on getting it today (PS2...I know, I know...have yet to upgrade), but I've got to take our dog Buddy to the vet tonight and I'm not sure I'll have enough time to get to the store. Poor guy has been itching like crazy (dry skin) from the hot weather the last couple of weeks, so I'm not sure if he's got some sort of allergy or what.

I may swing up to Best Buy and pick up Madden tomorrow as a birthday present to myself.

thepensblogderek said...


Its the background of my computer too.. what a picture..

If you just google Mellon Arena it should be on the front page.


Well said. Smizik's neck is scary

snoopyjode said...

thanks, pbd! (for others searching for the original, google's safesearch must be off.)

Kenny Melvin said...

Yeah Derek and I both jobbed Fedko last night. I said "Max Starks got beat more times for sacks than you have in the ratings." I also jobbed Smizik. I said, "I think Lawrence Timmons to play for the Steelers this year because their pass rushers are as old as bob smizik."

Stoosh said...


Was that you that called in to Madden's show around 5:30-ish with the "Arians Nation" reference?

thepensblogderek said...

Melvin isn't good for much, but he did alert us to FEDKO taking off the delay...

We're thinking about hiring him to go on to opposing teams message boards and start fights

Spencemo said...

I think Kenny needs that kind of creative outlet. It would be good for him. And, he could probably use the money, too. How much does Madden cost, anyway?

Kenny Melvin said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Kenny Melvin said...

Yeah Stoosh that was me on Madden's show yesterday. I gotta agree with your sports talk in Pittsburgh breakdown. I agree mostly with what you said but I do disagree in some areas. Madden's show always hit a lull in the middle of summer but once Steeler and Penguin season picks back up it's a great show once again. I also disagree about Colony. He may know his stuff but he has the worst radio voice in recorded history. His monotonous and mundane monologues makes me want to put icepicks through my eardrums. But you're right Ken Laird is awful and Chris Mack thinks he's the Fred Norris of the Junker and Crow show with his great sound drops. They're nothing but ill-timed and annoying.

snoopyjode said...

okay. all the drama that happened yesterday made me forget to mention this:

last week, i told loser chris i was going to get him back for some thing or another. that's why i asked for the STILL shot of ronnie vs. rick. i was going to photoshop a ninja (tip of the hat to jonny v for that idea) kicking the puck in the goal so loser chris would still be wrong about who got the credit. but since tPB did a frame by frame analysis of the whole thing, my idea is shot... anyhoo, i told him that i would let him know what i had planned if i couldn't pull it off: that was my big (admittedly lame) plan for revenge.

thanks for ruining it, tPB!!! ;)

Anonymous said...

hahahaha oh fedko.

as soon as gary roberts got brought up he tried talking over it and tried showing some pictures of bonds night or whatever. then all you heard was: "Gary Roberts made Barry Bonds."

fedko then talked about a tv and the pictures and basically was shocked.


Tiffany said...

[applauding] OMG....guys, that was beautiful. Fedko was totally thrown off guard & had no clue what to do....except to say that there were "technical difficulties".

As soon it's up on youtube, it's getting favorited. Hahaha well done, everyone. ;-)

Jason said...

stoosh, if you're still thinkin about picking up madden, you might want to reconsider...im not sure its worth $60.

biggest disappointment of the game is that there is no madden or al michaels, just some generic nobody announcer. how the hell are you supposed to enjoy the game without john madden breaking down every single play?!

on the upside, charlie batch musta been in on the development team because he might be the best quarterback in the game..just finished a game where he had a 158.3 qb rating.

Randy said...

Gary Roberts statistic courtesy of wikipedia

Career regular season games played: 654,546,845

Stoosh said...


Did you get the PS2 version or a next-gen version? I thought I read that Michaels and Madden were left off the next-gen ones, but I'm not 100% sure. Even if it's the case, I can do without it anyway...I think they've been recycling the same Madden audio clips since the Sega Genesis versions.

I always thought it would be cool to put in a feature that allows you to play with NFL Films music as the background during games. Think about it...NFL Films created an empire by tying their soundtracks in with the action. Why not allow it during gameplay in a game like Madden...ESPECIALLY during the replays...

See, this is why EA needs someone like me working for them. If I worked for EA, we'd have NFL Films music as an option during gameplay. We'd have licenses for the AHL and maybe even the junior teams in the NHL series games so you can use your prospects in games (much like the way you could in the MVP Baseball games). We'd have an NCAA Hockey game and we'd have an NCAA lacrosse game, too.

Kenny Melvin said...

Stoosh judging by the intelligence of your posts I think NASA would be lucky to have someone like you

Kenny Melvin said...

Who's up for another full fledged jobbing of Fedko tonight?

Jason said...

actually stoosh, there is NFL films music during the replays..thats gotta be one of the highlights of the game

ive got the 360 version, but i dont see why they would have the commentary on the older systems and not the newer ones

Jonny V said...

Yeah, the dynamic duo is still on the PS2 version. There are a couple cool new features too, a lot better than last year's edition.

Kenny Melvin said...

It looks like there will be another Fedko video going up on youtube.

canaanmakesfood said...

hey snoopy, i hope your new img isn't a poke at the "new commentorblog regime" ...hehe

kenny, i caught last nights but i missed tonight...what went down?

Kenny Melvin said...

Canaan, I called in first as Fred and said "I think Santonio Holmes is gonna have a break out year. Not only him but Ward, Miller, and Gary Roberts wooooooooooo!" I got the woo over as well. So about two minutes later I call back in the same voice and the guy lets me on as John. I go, "Why did the Pirates give a video tribute to Barry Bonds? He's a disgrace to Pittsburgh, he couldn't throw out Sid Bream. If the Pirates really wanted to make themselves look good then they should just honor Gary Roberts" Fedko was stunned.

I called back a third time all on the same cell phone mind you. I was so close to getting on again but the show ended before I could get on. I'll record it tomorrow and it'll be on youtube shortly thereafter.

canaanmakesfood said...

haha...nice...a combo job.

tpb adam: your flash schedule is coming along nicely.

Anonymous said...

Your site is great. Even in the off season, I am entertained by your posts. One criticism. The pictures of senators fans are fine once in a blue moon. But I feel like every post there is a picture, it just makes reading your posts unpleasant. I think the majority of your readers would agree with me.


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