Wednesday, August 8, 2007

Hockey Is Two Cellphone Bills Away

First things first.

August 7th was Sidney Crosby's birthday.
If you run a Sidney Crosby blog, it was your day to shine.

But if you're a professional hockey club, do you change your website to an intro picture of a birthday cake for Sid?
No way.

Whoops. Why don't they do this for every player?

"Wah, he's the face of the franchise."

If the team was called the Pittsburgh Crosbies, this birthday wish would be justified.
Do it for every player.


There's actually stuff worth mentioning today.

Doug Maclean buys the Lightning
(you are about to find out that Doug Maclean is a moron)

....Are goal judges moving to the press box?

.......Arron Asham is signed by the Devils.

......The Blue Jackets have signed Kris Beech.

Now as we were looking for a Kris Beech picture, we got sidetracked.
We came across some old articles about the Jagr/Beech trade in July 2001.

Prepare yourself for the quotes in some of these articles:

Bye-Bye Jaromir

Patrick was aware yesterday that he will be criticized in many circles for parting with Jagr for three little-known players, but he asked for patience from the team's fans.

"I'd say five years," Patrick said. "Give it time."

It gets better:

New Acquisitions Eager to establish worth to Pens

"I've noticed in my short time with Craig Patrick that, if you watch him, he doesn't make many bad deals," MacLean said.

A center so promising, in fact, that[Greg] Malone quickly concluded the Penguins had absolutely no hope of getting him with their first-round draft choice, which turned out to be the 18th overall.

"I said, 'We'll never see this kid,' " Malone said yesterday. "Not unless we trade up.' "

Bob Smizik's take:

Patrick described Beech, the best of the three, as a "Ron Francis-type," which is quite a mouthful. Of course, being a Ron Francis-type and performing like a Ron Francis, a certain Hall of Famer, are two different things. Beech played for Calgary in the Western Hockey League last season and was the team's fourth-leading scorer.

What a bad time to be alive.

Moving on.

The Oilers shut down Daryl Katz's bid.

Maybe because he has the hair of 1980's movie villain.


Mike Cammalleri has been jobbing over in Los Angeles for the last couple years.
But last year saw a 25-point increase in his numbers.

Arbitration awarded him a 2-year, $6.7 million contract.

80 games last year. 81 points.

Imagine if he played on a good team.


Apparently, Peter Forsberg has Pittsburgh on his list of potential cities.

Don't do it.

What a mistake that would be.

Although if he does get signed, no one will be mad because
a) the Pens aren't leaving
b) it's not our money
c) The Pens power play would execute at a 70% clip.

More Penguins news.
We put the link on the sidebar over to your left somewhere.
The Steelers will now win the division.


Thanks to Ted for sending his job of Sean Avery's Wikipedia page.
(Look closely)


Speaking of jobs...

Jobber of the Week:

League Deputy Commissioner Bill Daly

Recently, Dick Pound, the head of the World Anti-Doping Agency, said the NHL's drug-testing procedures are a sham.

Bill Daly says, "We could really care less what Dick Pound has to say."

Just the fact that he probably said "Dick Pound" in an asshole way lets him take home this award.

(Thanks Marcie for the trophy)

The words Hockey Buzz and good don't go together often.
But one of their Vancouver writers found this:

Solid stuff.


Winter in the Sun
Game #68
March 10, 2007
Solid Comeback. PENS WIN.

3 - 2

A late Marek Malik slashing penalty in the second period gives the Pens a power play to start the third.
The Pens don't get anything out of it.
And that's when boos from Pens fans were audible (probably from all the people who scream "shoot".)
Are you serious?

The David Copperfield magic number is 18.




Kenny Melvin said...

I would really hate it if the Pens signed Peter Forsberg. He would have to play wing but he's never scored over 30 goals in his entire career. He's also injury prone and I wouldn't want to mess with the chemistry of the team by bringing him in. Almost everyone on the Pens thinks he's a major douche. Outstanding Jake Wheatley photoshop

Joshua said...

Well you don't have to worry because even dave littlefield knows that is a bad deal. Forsberg will not land in Pittsburgh, whoever wrote that piece is smoking something.

Jonny V said...

this is just a test...testes,

Anonymous said...


How the hell do you know most of the Pens think that Forsberg is a douche? Did you go up to each of them and ask them? I doubt it. Quit assuming. If you want to gain respect by people, quit making shit up. Asshole.

Staff said...


Stoosh said...

Kudos and plaudets for linking that Canucks video. I grew up a Canucks fan and that '93-94 team that went to the Cup is still one of my favorite teams of all time.

That shot of Bure burying the OT breakaway against the Flames resulted in me putting a hole the size of my right hand through the basement ceiling of our house because I jumped off the couch in celebration. The Canucks were down three-games-to-one in that series and then won each of the final three games in OT to eliminate Calgary.

That team was Pavel Bure at his absolute finest, on a line with Gus Adams and Gino Odjick. Clifford (Ronning), Linden, COURT-nall, Marty Gelinas, Serge Momesso (jobber extraordinaire), Jyrki Lumme, Babych, Babych's mustache, and Captain Kirk in net. Fun team to watch, right up until Game Seven of the Cup Finals, which I think was the first time I ever had my heart broken as a sports fan. After the game ended, I didn't move for three hours. Just stunned.

Barrasso35 said...

Anyone notice Gary Roberts got owned in that Canucks video. I'm just sayin.

EmDubs said...

Has anyone seen the tape of OJ Simpson on that call-in talk show? You guys thought you got Fedko good..... ha ha ha

snoopyjode said...

If the team was called the Pittsburgh Crosbies, this birthday wish would be justified. even though sid is the man - that's a good point. and i decided my cake was better than theirs, after all. :) i'm planning something similar for mario's birthday in october, but i haven't found a cake good enough to photoshop for him yet. i've got some time, though, so hopefully something will turn up.

semi-random thought: every time i hear something about cammalleri, i can't help but think about calamari... ew.

snoopyjode said...

this is a real headline in my nhl google alert email for today:

WADA chief Dick Pound on the NHL's testing policy

wrong. so, so wrong.

Loser Chris said...

Oh grow up Snoop!

Jesse Marshall said...

Yesterday was my birthday as well. Where's the love?!

Jonny V said...

Those six and twelve game plans went quicker than hotcakes in the backseat of Doc Brown's Delorean...I stood no chance

And dude, just ask yourself. What message am I conveying with an avatar of Hitler? What are we supposed to think of you?

Jason said...

that canucks montage was solid. I especially liked the guy celebrating by riding his stick across the ice. crusher needs a goal celebration and i nominate that one.

you're right, they should celebrate every players birthday. its only fair.

Kenny Melvin said...

Wow, "Kris Beech can be the next Ron Francis" that quote ruined lives. At least he did get to bang Sonni Abatta though

GordyHowitzer said...

Kenny, how do you know he banged Sonni? I heard she's a cock tease (completely different from, say, your mom). :)

GordyHowitzer said...

BTW, the above comment was a joke.

I have never banged KM's mom, nor do I know anything about her sexual escapades.

Just keepin' it real, yo.

K's mom said...

Very good...Mr. Hockey.

Kenny Melvin said...

No offense taken gordy. Have any of yinz bought 6 or 12 game packages yet?

theNick said...

The only thing I learned from that Sean Avery bio is that former penguin Tom Kostopoulos got to appear on MadTv.

also kenny i eagerly await your Mao Zedong avatar.

Anonymous said...

skip the mao, go straight for the pol pot if hes going to be an insensitive douche.

Kenny Melvin said...

thenick, I think i'm gonna go with Winston Churchill next.

Kenny Melvin said...

Jordan Staal gets a plea deal
Staal going to jail for 10 years

CityofChampsblog said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
CityofChampsblog said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
canaanmakesfood said...




Jason said...

replace that thing on the front with the real logo and i like that jersey better than those ones posted against the green background.

canaanmakesfood said...

jason, if you change the '4' in the link to a '3', its more of what i guess you are talking about (sans color tweak/shoulder piping)

Anonymous said...

I threw up in my mouth a little bit when I saw that jersey logo.

canaanmakesfood said...

lol...did you swallow


theNick said...

fuck i forgot pol pot but i think mao may have killed more know there are like a billion Chinese

theNick said...

also what the fuck did kenny do yesterday to piss everyone off.

John Cangelosi said...

The Canucks video was pretty cool but I have one question. Why is it that every one of those tribute videos, including the Canucks one, have the absolute worst music on them? I've watched a bunch of Pens highlight videos on youtube that I have to turn the sound off for. Seriously people, leave the inspirational power ballads off the next time you create a highlight video and I'll quit vomiting uncontrollably when I watch them.

Kenny Melvin said...

Still haven't learned how to make links Canaan? TheNick, I don't think we should forget Lenin. He was Stalin before anyone ever knew about Stalin.

canaanmakesfood said...

km, i ctr+c/ctrl+v all my links and dont really care to make the url brackets if you must know.


theNick said...

zombie Lenin?

Staff said...

Canaan that is sick.. can you make that for Gary Roberts?

canaanmakesfood said...

Staff... all you have to do is replace the "pensblog" in the address to whatever you want it to say


Tiffany said...

OMG, Canaan.....there really aren't any words to describe the awesomeness...

...but maybe scrumtrulescent will do.

rachel said...

Canaan, that pretty much made my day

look, I'm not anonymous anymore! said...

Look at the Canucks video with 3:00 to go and you'll know it's a fake.

Staff said...

Canaan unreal hahaha

Kenny Melvin said...

that's outstanding Canaan

canaanmakesfood said...

posting to see if my new blogger pic is working ...please ignore this worthless comment


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