Monday, August 27, 2007

Fudge Sunday

Since we can't speak intelligently about the intricacies of every NHL team like we can about the Penguins, we've went around Gore and asked different blogs to provide us with their respective team previews.

They will be starting on Monday September 3.
And before you know it, it's gonna be October 5.


Thankfully, Empty Netters has been given its place back on the PG Pens page.

Big thanks goes out to Loser Chris at Taking One For The Team.
He asked us to take part in his salary cap challenge.
We feel good about our team,
Even though we screwed up and somehow left Gary Roberts off our roster.


Faceoff Factor reports that the Pens will show off their new uniforms September 5th.


How would you like to live in Canada, where they are already featuring NHL previews in anticipation of training camp?


The Trib had a story on Big Choke and Bing today.
As you can imagine, this article is full of good stuff.

CNBC sports marketing analyst Darren Rovell said:

"In terms of national recognition, Crosby will never attain what Roethlisberger did in 2004 and 2005," Rovell said. "People around North America will always think of the Steelers first when they think of Pittsburgh. The worst Steelers team is more identifiable to the city than the best Penguins team."


But maybe the best of them all:

Ravenstahl, thrust into the national limelight with the death last year of Mayor Bob O'Connor, has met both stars. He golfed last month with Crosby at Lemieux's charity tournament and met Roethlisberger at a Penguins game before Super Bowl XL. Ravenstahl and Roethlisberger occasionally exchange text messages.

"Generally, with both Ben and Sid, we have discussed our experiences as young people that have busted onto the scene and been thrust into the spotlight," Ravenstahl said. "We have talked about how we are all on the same path. In many ways there is a lot of commonality between us. We are all growing into our leadership roles."

Awful. Who cares what some jobber mayor thinks.

The article also went on to mention sponsorships.
Crosby is Reebok.
Big Joke, on the other hand, has been trying some new endorsements:

Credit to J Schiff, who is already in mid-season form.


In case you didn't watch the local news, or talk to anyone in Pittsburgh today, the Steelers played.
Big Ben looked good throwing a vintage INT on the first drive.
The only good part about the game was that it was on NBC.
And that meant tons of Heroes previews and talk of the DVD release.

August 28


We also got treated to Jerome Bettis talking about how great he is.
He went on tonight defending his book, something about him being a drug dealer or something.

A quote from Bettis:
" My image is how people see me."

Hopefully people don't see him as a complete joke like we do.

To sum everything up...

When WPXI took over the post-game coverage, John Fedko broke this story:
"Despite water pressure issues in Heinz Field, the Steelers will be able to take showers."

We are not making that up.
At this point, the fact that he even has a job is the biggest upset in the history of journalism.


Big Batch news has his Steeler season preview:

I frequent sports blogs on the internet more than anyone.

There's no one more informative than middle-aged men who have been lifelong fans of their favorite hometown team.

That's why I was pumped as shit when I saw Mondesi's House was going to be doing a Steelers preview for the upcoming season.

I'm on dialup internet, because high-speed internet is racist.

My internet service provider suspended my account because I was taking up too much bandwidth when I tried to access Mondesi's Steeler preview.

I visited it on my iPhone.

Weirdly enough, the preview was actually a RE-view.
It mentioned nothing of the upcoming season.
It made 22 references to Bill Cowher, the guy who doesn't even coach the team anymore.

Here's my Steeler preview:

Starting me = 16-0.



Jeff said...

Big Batch is the man.

I honestly just skim the Steelers posts. Bo-ring.

Go Bills.


canaanregulatesblog said...

*Heroes ssn 2: sept 24

*If your big offseason signing is "Roman Hamrlik, you're in bad shape... just saying.

*No man can be a Steelers hater when the Eagles are in town. And I quote Sportscenter, "Iron City beats Yuengling." true.

Anonymous said...

well, you might just want to check out eric lindros's wikipedia page. worth a jobbing i think.

Anonymous said...

correction: lindros - jobbed.

canaanregulatesblog said...

HockeyNews top 50 players 2007

1. Sidney Crosby
2. Alex Ovechkin
3. Roberto Luongo
4. Nicklas Lidstrom
5. Chris Pronger
6. Jarome Iginla
7. Vinny Lecavalier
8. Joe Thornton
9. Dany Heatley
10. Martin Brodeur
11. Patric Elias
12. Joe Sakic
13. Mikka Kiprusoff
14. Jaromir Jagr
15. Martin St. Louis
16. Marian Gaborik
17. Dion Phaneuf
18. Eric Staal
19. Marian Hossa
20. Ryan Miller
21. Daniel Alfresson
22. Chris Drury
23. Marty Turco
24. Jason Spezza
25. Henrik Zetterberg
26. Jonathan Cheechoo
27. Daniel Briere
28. Tomas Kaberle
29. Dominik Hasek
30. Brad Richards
31. Martin Havlat
32. Daniel Sedin
33. J.S. Giguere
34. Ryan Smyth
35. Simon Gagne
36. Pavel Datsyuk
37. Rick Nash
38. Rob Brind' Amour
39. Zdeno Chara
40. Rick DiPietro
41. Scott Gomez
42. Sergei Gonchar
43. Henrik Lundqvist
44. Evgeni Malkin
45. Zach Parise
46. Dan Boyle
47. Brendan Shanahan
48. Ilya Kovalchuk
49. Mattieu Schneider
50. Niklas Backstrom

Don K. Show said...

looks like Fedko's page got jobbed again, which has me doubting how legit the Roberts appearance is.

hooks orpik said...

``Malkin #44? Lame.

``Chaz Batch was rockin and rollin last night. John Madden was orally fellating him like he usually only does for Brett Favre.

Kenny Melvin said...

I don't know why you guys are looking forward to Heroes. NBC went downhill after the cancellation of the golden girls...

wilsmith said...


Anonymous said...

surprised the Scott Neidermeyer didn't make the top 50. Or the top 5 for that matter.

Anonymous said...

im surprised savard wasn't on the list at all

Greg said...

Hey guys check out the site and lets try to get as many people as possible!!

Adrienne said...

Cool Penguins template. Granted I'd never install it :(

Stoosh said...

Niedermayer probably isn't on there because he's contemplating retirement and I don't think he's made an official announcement.

I'm not going to argue with the top five. I hate Pronger, but he's good...probably the second-best d-man in the league and probably better at his position than anyone behind him is at theirs.

What in the blue hell is Patrick Elias doing at #11? That means THN thinks he's going to be the seventh-best forward for the upcoming year? I know someone has to score the goals in New Jersey, but come on.

Hey, at least we know how many selections they got in before the alcohol started taking effect. There's no way Patrick Elias will be a better forward in 2007 than Dion Phaneuf will be a defenseman. That's just ludicrous. Hell, I'd put Drury, Spezza and Zetterberg ahead of Elias...maybe even Richards and Havlat if Havlat could stay healthy.

If J.S. Giguere is ranked #33, how come J.S. Giguere's legpads didn't get the #34 spot?

lloyd said...

someone might find this useful

Anonymous said...

that bettis line made me pee a little bit.

Kenny Melvin said...

Agreed Anon, you know there's so many times Bettis has disgraced himself when it's counted most. There could be a picture of Bettis everyday either choking in a big game or on a chicken wing.

Kenny Melvin said...

Fedko's wikipedia page is a Mess

wilsmith said...

Alright, so who's reserving a block in a hotel up there in the name of TPB?

I'm going.

Don K. Show said...

Kenny, you call that a mess? That thing couldn't be a bigger wreck even if Dany Heatley was driving it.

For those who haven't seen it, here's the highlights in case it gets whacked:

- In 1995, he was the second most recognizable personality in Pittsburgh, two percentage points behind Artie Lange.

- Fedko was born in Toronto, Ontario to only one parent, Gary Roberts. He conceived the baby and gave birth to it. After taking one look at the baby Gary Roberts decided he was a disgrace to the Roberts name and left him on the doorstep of Rick Walsh's house

- Fedko began creating home skits at the age of nine after a thorough beat down by Gary Roberts. In his early twenties, Fedko sought to become a celebrity by moving into television and away from Gary Roberts.

- Fedko has mentioned on numerous occasions that Mondesi's House is his favorite website. He has also mentioned Pensblog from time to time as a site that he frequents.

- Shows with Gary Roberts even mentioned once by callers are in the top 10 of highest rated cable television shows ever. John Fedko once applied to get a press pass for the Pittsburgh Penguins and Mario Lemieux said in response, "Sorry, if we want a high school journalist we'll get someone like Kenny Melvin, not a jobber and disgrace like you." Fedko has not stopped crying since.

- Fedko is a devoted Catholic; he has said "Gary is the most important thing in my life".[2] He "turned to Roberts" in high school, and has "prayed every night since [his] college days".[3] Weeks before the NHL free agency period, Fedko frequently said that he would sacrifice himself for the Penguins to keep Gary Roberts. Unfortunately Gary Roberts stayed without Fedko offing himself.

Fedko gives motivational speeches to teenagers who then go on to beat his ass after the completion of the ceremony. In high school, Fedko was unpopular and said he was "considered a real loser and a geek, and was shanked by real journalist John Steigerwald in a notorious incident", and "was constantly getting beat up because of that"; however, in college he discovered he had talents he could put to good use by worshiping Gary Roberts

I should have just posted the entire page.

Anonymous said...

Instead of concentrating on ridiculing other blogs, you guys should focus your lives on your own blog.

This blog will never be what Mondesi's House is.
You have to get that through your heads.

Kenny Melvin said...

some more tidbits from the John Fedko wikipedia page.

*Fedko was born to Howard Baldwin in Mystery, Alaska. Fedko has no wife or children. He instead vows all of his time to the Gary Roberts Association of America.

*Fedko frequently visits homo's house aka mondesis house. He doesn't like because entertaining commentary flies right over his head.

*John Fedko has no career. WPXI picked him up off the street in 1990 and immediately hired him to the sports director. WPXI's ratings have since fallen faster than the Hindenburg.

Ming the Merciless said...

Blah blah Gary Roberts blah blah Mondesi's House blah blah John Fedko blah blah blah

Kenny Melvin said...

You're a joke Ming. If you don't like Fedko jobbing in every form then the meaning of life has passed you by.

Ming the Merciless said...

It's kind of weird that Hulk Hogan's son is in a similar situation to what Dany Heatley was involved in. Both were driving sports cars at high speeds, wrecked, and the passengers took the brunt of the damage.

Ming the Merciless said...

The meaning of life? It's a long journey, it took me to college, earning me a bachelor's degree. After college, I was in jobs that I didn't feel fulfilled me, and after watching the killed and wounded totals rise on a daily rate, I decided to join the Navy and become a Hospital Corpsman, hoping to work in physical therapy to in some way help our wounded soldiers get some piece of their life back. I instead ended up working in the Labor and Delivery department in Twentynine Palms, CA, where I helped in the delivery of serviceman's babies. I'm out now, and currently going to school for Physical Therapist Assistant, and want to help people rehab from surgery. I don't know if i've found the meaning of life yet, but yeah, I'm a joke compared to you, the next Remy from Higher Learning.

Jeff said...

Ming.... I need you to contact me somehow RE: Important Secret Project.

Got a preferred method?


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