Friday, August 24, 2007

The Closer You Get

It's August 24th.

Winter in the Sun is on its last legs.

Starting September 1st, we will do a daily preview of every team in the NHL.
We're gonna do the Western Conference first, to get those teams out of the way.

The best part: We will be giving notice to those respective teams' blogs when they're on the hot seat.

Should help to start the hate early.


Some Mexican found a Stanley Cup ring in the Gulf of Mexico.

Authorities first thought it belonged to former Capital Dale Hunter.
But then they realized he never won anything.



Another Pittsburgh sports legend has gotten into a motorcycle accident.

This time, it is Alexei Kovalev, who damaged a Harley Davidson belonging to the mayor of Montreal.


No word yet if Kovy will use the accident as an excuse to cost his team victories.


The Panthers were bored and decided to sign Stephen Weiss to a six-year deal.

Picture: Panther fans can't wait for the new season

No Pun Intended gives us this picture of Ducks backup goalie Ilya Bryzgalov:

One of the great shirts of all time.
We'd make fun of him, but he wouldn't be able to hear us.
He has his Stanley cup ring in his ear.

More Mike Comrie news.
We get this from James Mirtle via the Big Lead.

Hopefully this spurs someone to make an inapporiate sign about Hillary Duff and bring it the Mellon, when Comrie and the Isles are in town.

And lastly.
Empty Netters found this.
It is a message from the St. Louis Blues to their fans.
Good stuff.


Winter in the Sun
Game #81
April 5, 2007
Veni. Vidi. Vici. Bitches. PENS WIN.

3 - 2

Hey, dicks -- It was a wrister from the slot. get off my back.
On the next shift, Gary John McLane Roberts goes insane.
He dished out a huge check and drove to the net as Bing got the puck back to Joltin' Joe Melichar.
Melichar must not be seeing right 'cause he hit the net with the shot.
Gary Roberts is there to pick up the rebound. With more patience than Gregory House M.D., Roberts roofs it.
2-1 Pens.

Towards the end of the first, Daniel Alfredsson hooks Colby Armstrong and goes to the box.
That was surprising because Alfredsson is usually nowhere to be found in April.


Early in the second, Malkin misses the net on pretty much his only shot of the game.

Rob Scuderi, knowing that going an entire season without making a mistake would tip people off to him being immortal, backhands the puck 80 rows into the stands from his own zone.
The Chokers go on the power play.

Ottawa can't get anything going early, but then Joe Melichar basically gets arrested -- six minutes of penalty time? Come on.

The Pens get a rush on the ensuing 5-on-3, but nothing happening.
We could use it as an excuse, but the Pens were in their penalty-killing positions when O.J. Simpson tied it up a few moments later.

Next stop: 66 Mario Lemieux Place. Game One.


5:35 left -- Chris Neil takes his seventh penalty of the game.
Pens jump on the power-play.

Pens don't do anything.
Then the Senators go insane.
Shot, save. Shot, save. Shot, save. MAF blacks out from being too great.

Then Crosby flies into the Senators' zone and solid human being Chris Phillips has to hook him.
1:43 left. Power Play City.

Malkin forgets the Pens are on the power-play and punches someone in the mouth.

We're thinking the Haitian from "Heroes" flew in and erased Malkin's memory.
April 23rd.

If you wanna talk about butterfly effects -- If Malkin doesn't take that penalty, the Pens don't do what they were about to do.

Colby and Max play around in the Senators' zone at the end of the game.
Sens fans are cheering. They are about to clinch home-ice in the first round.

He lacks a penis, but TAL-BOT still was able to bang Ray Emery's wife.
3 - 2.


FritoWill said...

i almost died last heart rate during the game was unreal.

the first during the interfearance, the scrapping, me yelling about no Lauaque, and some other stupid things.

The 2nd when hits were handed out like free sample day at Giant Eagle.

The third so happy with us on the PP, want to Kill Malkin when he took his penality, and of course when Talbot had the game winner.

i am no longer in Playoff condition, its been to long. I need to rest up and stock up for this playoff run.

Doritos and Pepsi, Pizza Joes with their new Wings, and i need to do voice exercises so when i scream at the top of my lungs (F you Ottawa when Talbot scores) it doesn't hurt so much.

sorry to gameday chat crew, i had to bail on the account that I may have punched the monitor if i didn't.




Anonymous said...

Outdoor game basically a done deal:

vakfan said...

Ms. Duff looks a little bit worried with those 2 guys...

Spencemo said...

What's sad is that shirt probably cost $10,000...

Kenny Melvin said...

That Talbot photoshop is still the pensblog's best work imo.

Don K. Show said...

Talbot is solid

Loser Chris said...

Duff looks like she's being held captive in that picture.

Korn said...

I'm gonna miss the Ouellet photoshops. How many times do we play Tampa this year?

And who is this year's nominee for Therrien's best boy??

Korn said...

ehem, uhhh... this is kind of awkward... Is there too much Ron Francis love here?

Stanley P. Kachowski said...

That shirt is horrid. It looks like it was made by sewing a bunch of my grandma's old-world scarves together.

I think the guy and chick in the background are snickering at the shirt.

Kenny Melvin said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Kenny Melvin said...

Asking is there enough Ron Francis is like asking if there is enough Cowbell

Spencemo said...

Can there bee too much Ron Francis love? I think not.

lis said...

That shirt reminds of me of the shirt that Denise made Theo on the Cosby Show

Jason said...

one of my old professors had a shirt very similar to that that he actually wore a few times while lecturing. his shirt was straight from malaysia, i'd almost bet ilya's is too.

Spencemo said...

Note to self: Never buy shirts in Malaysia...

canaanregulatesblog said...

that blues promo is pretty desperate, no?

wilsmith said...

Did that say 10 game packs for $140?

canaanregulatesblog said...

sure did. thats what happens when you are teh suck.

Kenny Melvin said...

At least the Blues are trying to get people back in the seats unlike the Blackhawks.

Loser Chris said...

I think I only paid $12 or $14 for my tickets to see the Pens in Dallas.

And for the record, I think there's a problem with not enough Ron Francis love here!

Ming the Merciless said...

A couple things for yinz to marinate on, courtesy of espn's Uni-watch

Words cannot even describe this

The caps were supposed to switch to this in 2000-01, but obviously didn't

A proposal for the old Nordiques in the 80's, and this for the 95-96 season, but didn't file the paperwork in time Home whites

The Stars and their prototype that never materialized.

I don't know if this was mentioned with the new uniforms being unveiled, but anyone notice what'sdifferent with the Red Wings new sweaters?

And dedicated to what seems to be the topic of this thread, everyone's favorite former Whaler in a snappy outfit...Cooperalls!

Ming the Merciless said...

Couple of fixed links

80's Nordiques


canaanregulatesblog said...

*The red wings switched their 'C' location because when they moved the main logo up on the chest, they realized that the tail of the wing would get in the way with the C.

*The Cooperalls are awesome.

*Im glad the nordiques didnt change their logo. the design, however, seemed to work out okay for the timberwolves (although, a littled tweaked).

*Great post Ming!

Steve In Denver said...

Nice work, Ming.

I thought the cooperalls were gay. Pretty cool that Francis was celebrating a goal he scored on Pelle Lindbergh (RIP). He was one of my fav goalies when I was first getting into hockey.

Pens will match up against the Habs in the tournament of logos. Ugh.

I think the dude in the back seat with Duff and Comrie just farted. Or he's on X.

Kenny Melvin said...

Great post Ming, I don't believe those Blues jerseys were even proposed.

Jason said...

nice post ming, but you forgot a couple. when you talk ugly jerseys, you talk california



i know the ducks wore that jersey atleast once, not sure about the kings though.

Kenny Melvin said...

The New Years Day game against Buffalo in Ralph Wilson Stadium is Official

Anonymous said...

the first post of the commentorblog was about the outdoor game, km.

Kenny Melvin said...

I know, but now it's confirmed by a Pittsburgh media outlet as well

thepensblogderek said...

Pensblog road trip to Buffalo is on...

what a wild new years

Kenny Melvin said...

A bunch of guys from LGP are going up to Buffalo as well Derek. Thepensblog and LGP can sit together and i'll sit on the other side of the stadium.

canaanregulatesblog said...

kenny, thats funny.

dr, we (lgp) are organizing a road trip for said event. we'll probably leave pgh around 3am so we can get there and tailgate. booya.

Staff said...

How about the website that targets the 18-34-year-old demographic in Pittsburgh did his Steelers preview recently.

Not only was it the longest post about anything in the history of blogger, but it also forgot to actually give a preview of the upcoming season.

we commented on said preview on the site that delivers sports and entertainment with a sarcastic and pittsburgh twist, and our comments were hitler'd.

we just didn't understand it. the website hyped up this big preview of the season, but it all it talked about was joey porter and ben roethlisberger's girlfriend and other topics that mean nothing to the Steelers season.

how would everyone here feel if we did our penguin preview, and all it contained was stuff about player's personal lives and shit?

really insane that this steelers preview appears on deadspin.
that post is how the steelers are represented to the sports-blog reading world.


get real.


thepensblogderek said...


Shit, we are leaving that weekend sometime. Maybe Monday night?
We need to plan this, get us in contact with lgp.
I am sure the boys at ff are going to.
As well as Seth from empty netters.

thepensblogderek said...


I check you text. We need to book shit for Buffalo

Staff said...

yeah, kick the tires and light the fires.

we should invite mondesi

canaanregulatesblog said...

Let me get a list of people who are DEFINITELY going to go... email me at

thepensblogderek said...

haha Mondesi will be to busy working on his 150,000 word essay on why big ben is the greatest pittsburgh athlete of all time...

Go pens..


Kenny Melvin said...

Mondesis house is an absolute joke. I don't understand what the appeal of their blog is. Either try to be legit or go totally funny, they're got somewhere in between.

canaanregulatesblog said...

ROFL....melichar's house.

Kenny Melvin said...

Please leave melichar's house up there for good. That's just outstanding

Spencemo said...

OK, it hasn't been Melichar's all day, has it? I've really got to start paying attention...

Kenny Melvin said...

Actually Spence it's been there since June....

Tiffany said...

Don't worry, Spencemo. Methinks it's only been up for a couple hours. ;-)

And about the Buffalo road trip...let's get it on and kick the tires & light the fires!

(That 2nd one's just for you, Staff.)

Don K. Show said...

Mondesi's house: Fedko likes it (as seen on TV).

Kenny Melvin said...

So that's another reason to hate them

Lloyd said...

count me in for a tentative yes for the 'kick the tires and light the fires' road trip.

If i can get at least one or two friends to go along, its a firm yes.

Anonymous said...


Want to goto the Outdoor game with me? I'll throw you over the falls.

canaanregulatesblog said...

i usually hate anon's throwing random jabs at people, but the one above me made me have loads of laughter.

hooks orpik said...

i'm definitely coming up from arlington, VA.

i think a pensblog tailgate is totally inappropriate and will lead to no good.

And I'm all for it.

hooks orpik said...

i agree john k.....if fedko endorses you, that speaks volumes.

but not quite the volumes of a steelers preview that's really a recap.

pensblog should do a penguins 2007-08 preview like he did, starting with everything that's happened to the franchise since the last stanley cup in '92. now THAT would be good.

but they can't even get JOBBERS out on a regular basis (or pee standing up) so i wouldn't hold your breath.

Tiffany said...

Canaan, hahaha!!

T w a t (that was absolutely terrific). (^_^)

P.S. Sorry.....Skyy impairs good judgement.

Kenny Melvin said...

How dare you laugh at my misfortune Canaan. Actually i've always wanted to go over the falls in a barrel...

canaanregulatesblog said...

canaan's friday night-not going out drinking because of all the checkpoints gift to thepensblog:

Gary Roberts Wallpaper

Kenny Melvin said...

Wow Canaan your photoshop skills are masterful. I haven't even got down MS paint yet. Maybe I have MS...

canaanregulatesblog said...

wallpaper updated

Stoosh said...


Good god...! That was classic. In fact, I've got nothing else to add. I can't top that.

Good call on the Skyy vodka, too.

Kenny Melvin said...

Canaan, I don't mean to trump you but this has been my wallpaper forever


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