Sunday, July 1, 2007

Land of the Free...Agents

Before we get into anything:


Don't believe reports from Chicken Little that the sky is falling.
Or better translated: The Arena deal possibly falling through.

We have all come way too far to put ourselves through this crap again.
When reached for comment, the Pensblog official chicken, Marty, had this to say.

Chicken little is a fag.

It must be said however:
One last battle with us against Gov. Ed Rendell

(Canaan)

We'd make all kinds of remarks about political junk.
But the facts remain.
This isn't politicalblog.
We don't care if the state orders us to eat KFC every Friday.
Just approve the slots stuff.
And let's move on.

...................................

Around the NHL


Free agency about to begin.
And no question it is going to be special.
We'd tell you what our sources say, but our only source is your mom.
If you really love wild rumors, go to Eklund.


Picture: Eklund making one call to a "source" and the other to a man to come make out with him.

For those who don't know, Eklund is the jobber that starting blogging around at the time of the lockout.
You have to give him credit though. He has made a career out of basically making stuff up.

We don't like to get personal here....
but a here's a funny story we must share about Eklund and his exploits:

Back in the summer of 05' when the NHL was coming back, Eklund was running his old site, and he posted his email to contact him if you were a source.
One of us actually e-mailed him and gave him our cellphone number.
We talked to him and told him we worked with the Penguins.
We told him that Peter Forsberg was a lock to come to the Penguins.
Moments later, it was up on his site.
We called back again sometime later and reported Jagr was on his way back as well.
That obviously tipped him off.

But since then, it is hard to take him serious.
But, hey, rumors are fun.

We recommend Spectors Hockey.
The guy has been around forever and actually has some credibility.

And, as always, don't believe anything unless TSN.ca reports it.

.....Now what will the Penguins do?

Only King Shero knows for sure.
(Canaan is on fireeee)

If you're getting yourself all worked up -- don't.
The Penguins aren't going to do anything that doesn't make sense.
For us, from a pure photoshop standpoint, Paul Kayria could be fun.
A lot of what the Pens will do, you'd have to think, will depend on what the rest of the division does.
The Rangers and Flyers are going to be huge players in free agency.
And the Devils are just gay.
We'd worry about Philly, but we must have been distracted because we actually made the playoffs.


Suck it.
A "Go Home Flyers" chant can't come soon enough.

If anyone hears anything about Pens free agents stuff, just drop a note in commentorblog.

...In some others Pens news:

The Pens were a candidate to play in the "Ice Bowl" in January.
But they declined to host.
But they could be the visitor.

They could have played the game at Heinz field, because the Steelers (joke about playoffs and January. We got nothin. )


This was no question Big Choke's fault.

.......................
A Winter in the Sun
Game #34
December 21,2006
If Only For A Short While. PENS LOSE.



With a minute left, the Pens pull Thibault in their last-ditch effort to tie this game up. The Thrashers clear the puck and Recchi carried the puck through the neutral zone on the always inspiring "final rush". I shifted to the end of the couch. Malkin swoops in, drags the puck along. It hits something and goes wide. Someone chips it over towards the goal crease and right to the stick of Bing. He bangs it in with 15 seconds left to tie it up. When that net moved, nothing else mattered. The feeling only lasted a few seconds, but that was the best thing to happen to the beleaguered Pens fans in the past 48 hours.

"asdfmg;lkfdner.hjerygh934.uw5604j ;g89riudndgoa/sko F;WEIOHJ "
-- Actual IM sent by me to commenter " Will from Butler " when Crosby scored
.

The best scoring chance of the overtime belonged to the Pens when Crosby was working the boards like a member of LetsGoPens.com. He sent it out in front, but it just wasn't meant to be. In the shootout, Slava Kozlov made Thibault look like platypus urine and Marian Hossa came in later to score and ice the game, no pun intended. Christensen and Crosby both failed in their attempts to register a goal in the shootout.

Commentorblog said:
Scott said...

Anyone see that play Melichar had tonite...he was skatin up ice and he was gonna pass and as he was gonna pass he totally missed...y is he here... Old man Recs play has declined...and in the shootout Teeblow almost fell on his ass on the second goal

..........................


Day number:

Nolan Harrison was solid.

70 comments:

snoopyjode said...

first!

bryan said...

probably the best site for up to the minute updates: http://www4.sportsnet.ca/nhl_signings_2007/

theNick said...

wow since when did the commentorblog become AICN

Jeffry said...

i waited on francois leroux tonight, i didnt know he was a 100 feet tall until i saw him tonight. he's got a loud little girl and a hot pregnant wife. really nice guy. his wife made him take the free bread home with him. but oh no, not just francios, the rookies and staff came in for dinner too. nothing exciting going on there. esposito and letang seem to like each other though. therien even looked serious eating chicken, he scares me. i just wish i could have got kevin stevens to sign his "winners dont use drugs" poster i have. c'est la vie

Anonymous said...

im glad the pens are, and will always be, in pittsburgh...

p.s. ovechkin is gay

theNick said...

Jeffry you mean the "drugs are for losers, not for you" Pittsburgh Press poster? I had that poster hanging in my dorm room. I spent many a friday nights staring at that poster and weeping silently...perhaps i have said to much

Loser Chris said...

Have we signed Drury yet?

Anonymous said...

Eklund has just reported that the flyers have signed Drury, Briere, and the rest of the Sabres franchise.

-Kenny Melvin

canaanmakesfood said...

im glad the pens are, and will always be, in pittsburgh...

p.s. ovechkin is gay

im pretty sure that i posted this last night...::embarassed::

Anonymous said...

Canaan i'd like to apologize for the things I said to you a couple of days ago.

-Kenny

Stanley P. Kachowski said...

"Jeffry said...

therien even looked serious eating chicken, he scares me."

That is a monster quote. Good stuff, Jeffry.

WOooooooohooo! Free Agency!

Anonymous said...

Does it mean that you have a problem when you name your new yellow lab puppy Gary Roberts?

Anonymous said...

Kenny,

I would like to take a shower with you.

- Canaan

Anonymous said...

Anyone interested, NHL.com is showing TSN's Free Agent Frenzy show... 10 minutes and counting

William P.

Anonymous said...

Well let's take it won step at a time canaan

-Ken

Mrs. Grammarschool said...

Kenny: It's "one" not "won"

Sincerely,

Your 5th grade teacher

:op

Staff said...

Kenny don't respond to that.

-dr

Anonymous said...

Yeah I guess your right Derek, I could see the photoshops rolling in.

-Kenny

Anonymous said...

If you guys are watching the Free Agent Frenzy on TSN or if you can't, you should totally check out Jay Onrait's Live Blog of the event. Jay is the greatest host of sportscentre ever and so hilarious. And if you missed the Trade deadline live blog you should check it out too. It's gold.

-Lo

Anonymous said...

P.S: How sweet would it be if Ryan Smyth came to Pittsburgh? Not going to happen, but just putting that out there.

snoopyjode said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
wilsmith said...

Big signings already!

Pascal Dupuis re-signed with the Thrashers!

wilsmith said...

oh, and did everyone already know that Ian Moran is a FA this summer?

There's your right-handed defensemen.

snoopyjode said...

hopefully, the link works this time...

don't worry canaan, don't be embarrassed: ovechkin IS gay.

also, the canaan/kenny melvin truce was the funniest thing i've seen all day!!! HA! solid stuff, you two. glad to see it's finally over. :)

Christina said...

Whitney has re-signed with the Pens....salary details not posted yet

http://www.tsn.ca/nhl/news_story/?ID=212417&hubname=nhl

canaanmakesfood said...

i didnt say that showering comment,fyi

Christina said...

tsn.ca is reporting that Whitney signed a 6yr/$24 million deal. nice.

Jason said...

nice to know that whitney is gonna be around for awhile. big signing

Anonymous said...

Great signing for us, long term deal for a good price.

snoopyjode said...

re: whitney signing - score!

uh oh, canaan, you've been a victim of pensblogidentitytheft. not cool.

any news about crosby reaching any long term deals?

Anonymous said...

buzzontheburgh is also reporting that Kariya has narrowed his choices to three teams and one of them is the Penguins. The blog says the Pens are the favorite at the moment

-Kenny Melvin

wilsmith said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
wilsmith said...

Apparently that Ducks blue line was a little shaky.
Insert Mathieu Schneider.

Jason said...

if neidermeyer doesnt retire, what the ducks have going should be illegal. they might have assembled one of the best defenses in years. snoop dogg approves.

snoopyjode said...

this is gonna take some getting used to: looks like briere is a flyer now.

FritoWill said...

Jeffry YOU ARE MY HERO!!!!


BEST IM EVER on my part at the end of that game.

snoopyjode said...

holy shit! they just updated the article i linked - briere got an 8 year $52 million deal with the flyers!!!

Anonymous said...

Some are reporting Gomez signs w/ Rags, but nothing official yet

-AdamG

Anonymous said...

The Flyers are going to run into major cap problems down the road. They have 3 gigantic contracts on their rosters for players that aren't cream of the crop.

-Kenny

AdamG said...

I think Briere, while a very good player, isn't worth the huge contract. Pretty sure he's only had one 70 plus pt season.

snoopyjode said...

rafalski is going to detroit.

i'm still in shock about the briere deal. who really got the short end of THAT stick?

Anonymous said...

The Flyers can sign all these high end forwards that they want to but the last time I checked Marty Biron is still their starting goaltender. That'll be their downfall.

-Kenny Melvin

Barrasso35 said...

Fire and brimstone coming down from the skies. Rivers and seas boiling. The Arena deal still not done... Forty years of darkness. Earthquakes, volcanoes... The dead rising from the grave... Canaan and Kenny Melvin making nice... Human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together - mass hysteria!

What hath the offseason wrought?

Kenny Melvin said...

Scott Hannan is reportedly very close to signing with the Penguins.
http://www.penguinsbuzz.com/

Nathan said...

A smaller signing that's gone unnoticed on this board is bugging me -- Yanic Perreault to Chicago, one year, $1.5 million. Would've been nice to nab him, and have a guy who can actually win faceoffs. Sid's getting better on draws, but he's still well under 50 percent, and he's basically going to be the guy we send to the dot for a big faceoff late in the game, and for as little as it cost to bring Perreault to Chicago, it bothers me that the Pens couldn't have jumped in first on one of the best faceoff men in the NHL.

Jeffry said...

theNick said...

Jeffry you mean the "drugs are for losers, not for you" Pittsburgh Press poster? I had that poster hanging in my dorm room. I spent many a friday nights staring at that poster and weeping silently...perhaps i have said to much


i still have the poster, im not sure where its from, just says winners dont use drugs.

canaanmakesfood said...

the garbage man to tampa bay

Kenny Melvin said...

Does this mean no more Ouellet photoshops?

snoopyjode said...

i'll miss that wooly bastard.

Teej said...

THIS JUST IN:

http://sports.yahoo.com/nhl/news?slug=txlightningouellet&prov=st&type=lgns

Staff said...

it seems like the market is staying down.

The Briere deal is huge, but not that huge.

This is a good sign.
But I can almost feel montreal,both new york teams, and toronto over paying for someone.
It is going to happen.

Thank god Ouellet is gone.
Is anyone else ready for him to score 6 goals against us next year?
I can't wait.

-dr

Jason said...

1.2 million isnt bad for a 20 goal scorer. tampa bay got a pretty good deal. if they put him on a line with st. louis or vinny, he'll have all the garbage in the world to clean up

Barrasso35 said...

Anyone notice that the HF Boards have collapsed under the weight of free agency?

Time to buy more bandwidth, boys.

Jason said...

the rangers are insane. $51 million to a guy coming off a 13 goal season?! only once in his 7 year career has he scored more then 20 goals. absolutely retarded.

Anonymous said...

Wow NYR signs both Drury and Gomez for gigantic contracts, the Flyers have acquired every player on the free agent market. The division is going to be a lot tougher next year. The Isles and Devils are going to fall of the face of the earth. The Kariya deal is now huge.

-Kenny Melvin

Staff said...

wow rangers sign drury and Gomez...

bring it

Staff said...

haha kenny i think the word wow is all we can say..

wow

Anonymous said...

I know it might hit you a little strong at first staff but I took a step back and realized something. Crosby and Malkin> Drury, Gomez
Crosby and Malkin> Briere, Carter
We still have the best talent in this divison and our core of young guys are only going to get better and that's like adding a free agent. And looking at another positive, maybe this will allow Brendan Shanahan to come to Pittsburgh. If we can sign a Kariya and a Preissing I'm still confident that we're the cream of the crop in the Atlantic. The flyers are gonna be in a boatload of cap trouble in a few years and when the Rangers sign big time players it almost always blows up in their face. The Flyers D still sucks for the most part and their goalie is still Marty Biron. The Rangers paid 7.5 MILLION DOLLARS!! for SCOTT GOMEZ, a guy that scored 13 goals last year. They have no depth past their big line of Drury and Jagr.

-Kenny Melvin

Anonymous said...

If the Rangers and Flyers want to be the co-Washington Redskins of the NHL that by all means let it happen.

P.S.
The division next year is going to be a three man race with the Isles and especially the Devils falling wayyyyyyy back.

-Kenny Melvin

Anonymous said...

At least the Atlantic division is going to be exciting. Every game is going to be 8-7

-Kenny Melvin

Staff said...

As long the rangers have Rosival as there top d guy, we will be ok

-dr

Anonymous said...

LOL exactly right Derek. More news here, Hannan signs with the Avs and we acquire Danny Sabourin to back up Fleury.

http://www.tsn.ca/nhl/feature/?fid=4965

Kenny Melvin

FritoWill said...

is it time to put a cap on the Kenny Melvin post yet?


HAHA, i have no life either!!!

Anonymous said...

If you didn't jump out of your seat when you heard about the Danny Sabourin signing then you don't have a pulse.

Guess who fritowill

Kenny Melvin

Anonymous said...

Vote For Sidney Crosby for ESPY (NHL) Award

http://sports.espn.go.com/nhl/index

Jeffry said...

kariya to the blues, what a homo

Anonymous said...

Kariya signs with the Blues.

And with that, may he sustain a season-ending injury the first game of the year.

- Kenny Melvin

Anonymous said...

^^^actually, the above was not Kenny Melvin

I just fell into the trend.

Anonymous said...

We just inked Darryl Sydor for 2 years, 5 million and Petr Sykora for 2 years (can't find the amount yet)

Phentermine said...

Thanks for interesting article.

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