Thursday, June 14, 2007

It Was A Dark and Stormy Night.

First and foremost, this has to be addressed.

We have this thing called StatCounter that lets us see what people search in Google that brings them to the site.
It's always interesting to check out.
We get some weird ones.

But there was one on Wednesday that took the cake.

What's worse? --
Someone searching for pictures of Darieth Chisolm nude...
Or that searching for that brings up The Pensblog.

We hope Darieth Chisolm's number-one fan becomes a member of Commentorblog.


Make sure you're sitting down for this one:


Fact: Mike Keenan has three testicles.



Early 20th century was pretty sweet.
Considering the fact you could masturbate while delivering the Sunday paper.

More Canada news:
Mats Sundin is coming back for another year.

The Red Wings are bringing Chris Chelios back for another year.

Chris Chelios' son is pumped.

The Pens get development rights for Melody Tent.
Melody What?

It just keeps getting worse for the 45 Predator fans out there...

Jim Balsillie wants to prove Hamilton is a viable NHL market. Sources say the prospective new owner of the Nashville Predators intends to do so by soliciting season tickets deposits for seats and suites at Copps Coliseum.

People thought Pens fans were paranoid about this guy.
This only proves he had every intention of moving the Penguins.

.....Remember that poll on versus from yesterday.

Thats better.

Check out this blogger getting sued by the guy that said he wanted to buy the Pens, Frank D'Angelo.

In his statement of claim, Mr. D'Angelo argues that Mr. Sager's comments — which described Mr. D'Angelo as a "huckster" and a "two-bit shyster" — are derogatory in that they paint a picture of him as a "peddler," a "con man" and an "irritant."

The claim also says Mr. Sager called Mr. D'Angelo a "professional nuisance" and described his interest in acquiring the National Hockey League's Pittsburgh Penguins franchise as a "charade."

If this is the case, we could be getting sued at any given moment.
After narrowing it down.
We hired the lawyers that got Carl Lee Hailey off.

If Tom Hanks didn't have AIDS in the Philadelphia story, he was our man.

Our poor Pens Reebok jersey prototypes:

Possible Third Jerseys:


Big Night on Thursday.
The NHL Awards Ceremony.
EmptyNetters takes care of the preview

Mario's house is going to have more hardware than Sears after tomorrow night.
If Sid doesn't win the MVP, blame the Canadian Media.


The first known person to gain stardom from doing cocaine.
The Micro Machines guy -- John Moschitta.

Summer Assignment

"We got this email from reader Anthony Lenze:
Now that the season is over, can you guys put up the places around the burgh and US that carry the NHL Center Ice package? I hate it when I'm out of town and I have to miss a game (I'm sure others feel the same way)."

We think this is a great idea.
So if you want to email us or just leave in commentorblog places that you know you can catch a Pens game at.
It can be around Pittsburgh, or wherever you are or have been.
We will collect them and post them sometime this summer.
Thursday’s theme will be movie soundtracks.

Mondays will be known as “Movie Montage Monday”.

EltonJohnblog will be on Tuesday.

And on Wednesday & Friday, anything goes.

My hair says it all.

David Bowie - Rebel Rebel
(Thanks Don Juan)

Men at Work - Who Can It Be Now
Funny stuff & just look at those eyes.
(Thanks Karri)

Billy Idol - Dancing With Myself
Ahh….those lips. But what’s going on in this one??
(Thanks Don Juan)

This vid by The Police has angel wings…dancing…
Then Sting feels the need to take his shirt off at 3:22.
(Thanks Karri)

Mr. Big - To Be With You
Cheesy classic indeed
(Thanks Wilsmith)

Culture Club - Do You Really Want To Hurt Me
Yes we do, Boy George. Yes we do.
(Thanks Lauren)

A Winter in the Sun
Game # 22
The Revenge of Marty Straka
Ghosts of Penguins Past. PENS LOSE.

The first period was a seemingly endless train to the penalty box. Early on, the Pens had to kill a 5-on-3. Our penalty killing tonight was superb, keeping the Rangers on the perimeter while limiting Jagr's scoring chances. The Arena was full of pumped-uppedness after we killed those penalties, which resulted in a standing ovation during the first commercial break. The Pens had their shot on basically the same stretch of powerplay time at the end of the first, but nothing formulated.

Exclusive photo of Malkin watching his girlfriend making out with some dude.
Gonch: "She's no good for you Geno."

Adrienne said...

And the pick up was a nice drop when Eaton got taken out :(
And who doesn't cheer for Straka when he's announced? I would smack someone for booing him.
It is damn painful to cheer for a Ranger though...

Adrienne = In Love with Marty Straka

AHL All-Star
AHL All-Star

Joined: 28 Jan 2006
Posts: 5032
Location: Closter, NJ

PostPosted: Sat Nov 25, 2006 11:14 pm Post subject: Reply with quote

I'd like to thank Rob Scuderi for his panicked play by throwing pucks hard around the board when he had tons of time that lead to several icings in the 3rd period which had us lose some face offs and get some bad matchups out there. Thanks Rob.
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Mike Merriweather


Jonny V said...

Dear God my eyes...those jerseys suck Godzirra's balls.

And holy shit, nude Darieth Chisolm pics, and it led them to your site. The only thing that can be said about that is your blog has just shot through the stratosphere of all that is great about the reeks of awesomeness.

My contribution to musicblog is a great song from a shitty movie...
Seal - Kiss From A Rose

Jonny V said...

Holy smokes I forgot this movie existed.

Who's Johnny? Johnny 5!!!

Spencemo said...

"No disassemble Number 5!!!"

FritoWill said...

Short Circut was awesome!!!!

3 went a bit to far in the lame catorgory.

Is it wrong that i look foward to the recap of the recap, just to see if I made the commentor blog spot???

dying alive said...

Chris Chelios' son is younger than I thought he'd be.

Those jerseys are TERRIBLE. They're fake, right? Some fan design and not really what they're going to look like?

Hooks Orpik said...

I was going to chide pensblog for not using #57 for Steve Heins, the incredible defenseman with the 100+ mph shot (and nothing else)...

Until I realized it's Shawn Heins.

Yikes, perhaps it's better to leave those times in the dark days of Pens history.

PS I couldn't find a Pens #57 pic of Heins either, so excuses are granted.

Anonymous said...

Re: bars to watch Pens games. If you're in the DC/Northern VA area, it's Bugsy's - Bugsy is a former Penguin who's almost always at the bar. Plus they have the best pizza in VA.

Kevin said...

It may not be a bar but if your south of Pittsburgh in Greene county I watch every game at my house. BYOB

Awesome site guys!!!!

The ~D said...

Love that pic...Gonchar looks like he's ready to pop a cap in someone's ass.

snoopyjode said...

news you can (or maybe can't) use:

remember this kid? well, he just had surgery.
jim balsillie is the devil.
here's an article from previewing the awards show. (couldn't they have used a more flattering picture of sid?)
speaking of bing, msnbc compares him to lemieux, gretzky, and orr. it may be old news to some, as it has been on for a while, but it's a good read and i thought it was worth mentioning.

snoopyjode said...

i forgot this: i love colby's moobs in that pic!! hilarious.

Matt said...

If you find yourself in Vegas:

The Orleans Hotel and Casino
4500 W. Tropicana Ave.
Las Vegas, NV 89103

You have to go to the bar inside the Bowling Alley. Even on league nights it is seldom busy in the bar and they will put a different NHL
game on every TV if you ask.

Catch the Pens game and let the Jack & Coke flow.

Anonymous said...

these are pens prototypes i made a couple of weeks ago for


Stanley P. Kachowski said...

The only good thing about those jerseys is that they would go with khaki pants and therefore make them acceptable work-wear at my office.

Kenny Melvin said...

This blog has turned to absolute shit in the offseason. How about instead of making unfunny and interesting posts, you guys take off a couple of months until the season starts.

Loser Chris said...

Sorry boys, but I couldn't resist sharing this.

snoopyjode said...

loser chris - wow. that makes me want to just throw up. utterly disturbing...

Loser Chris said...

Snoopyjode, I don't see what the big deal is... I mean she did apologize after all.

I just read some of the stuff on MSNBC about Sid. I think giving him credit for Christensen owning the shootout is going a bit far.

Anonymous said...


snoopyjode said...

loser chris - i think that might give me nightmares tonight. holy crap, i've never hated anyone that much that i would literally rip his balls off. i'm a girl, yet EVEN I crossed my legs after reading that one!!! (good find, though!)

and yeah, i thought that was a bit far reaching myself. i know "the kid" is amazing and admittedly he is my favorite player, but i really tire of the whole "sidney crosby's penguins" thing. if i was on that team, i'd be furious.

PengIn said...

RE: Center Ice

In Chicago, Grizzly's Lodge (3832 N Lincoln) has both the Center Ice package and blackened alligator.

Jason said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Jason said...

i think musicblog is dying, no one is posting videos anymore.

the soundtrack from top gun could have its very own day on musicblog. maverick and goose!

Jesse Marshall said...

"How about instead of making unfunny and interesting posts, you guys take off a couple of months until the season starts."

Nice quote, Genius.

LGP, Pensblog > Kenny

snoopyjode said...

HA HA!!! nice catch, jesse!

The ~D said...

Didn't someone suggest bluto blog a while back? This is really the most boring time of the year sports-wise. It will really be boring after the Spurs win yet another championship this evening. Damn I wish I could find a Wii. Anywho, I personally like offseason blog (not that my opinion counts).


jamesFALLEN said...

You know you miss the penguins when:

At church, you look up at the crucifix and see Crosby's face staring back at you. Then you laugh at yourself for being surprised.

At confession, you confess you haven't seen Crosby score a goal in over a month. The pastor tells you it's ok, we all commit sin.

Someone calls in sick at work, so you bring your Kronk action figure to take care of the shorthanded problem.

When sneaking out of the school's backdoor, you duck so Whitney doesn't hit you with a slapper.

Walking past the Verizon Center in Washington, your about go to ask about next season's penguins tickets when you remember it isn't a penguins arena.

You watch Happy Feet and March of the Penguins. Continuously.

It's really late at night and you can't fall asleep, so you imagine Petr Nedved firing a seeing eye shot past the sandman allowing you to go to sleep with a smile.

When you get disappointing news, you try to mimic the reaction of Sergei Gonchar circa last game of his season 2001.

When you get a raise at work your boss asks you why your not excited. Your Response: "Crusher is pleased."

While watching the Evan Almighty Preview, you wonder if the two penguins will have home or away uniforms.

When watching the Matrix, you realize there really is no spoon. Because Gary Roberts says so.

You named your Chia pet "Rex"

While on the cell phone, you light
a match, and surf the internet. You think to yourself, "Wow,Is there anything Gary Roberts didn't invent?"

You compile a list of lame jokes so you can think about the penguins for an hour at work.

snoopyjode said...

you have to check this out. seth from empty netters found it. click on the "find tickets" link... i think i would have started a riot if there had been a link on ticketmaster that was taking deposits for [shudder] "the hamilton penguins." unbelievable.

Kenny Melvin said...

Too bad this entire blog couldn't be bigbatchnews, that's the only thing that's funny about this godforsaken blog. You guys better start pranking again to make yourselves interesting.

snoopyjode said...

two things...

1 - kenny, wtf?! why don't you go away then?

2 - news about sid.

Anonymous said...

Question to the guys, where did you find those prototype jerseys..or was that just a cruel joke you played on us?

cause if it was you almost gave me a heart attach..which makes it awesome

Steve in Denver said...

Even though Nashville apparantly sucks as a hockey city, it would still be fun to start jobbing Mr. Ballsi...Ballsy...Ballsinmouth.

Maybe we can all send him our old cellphones or something.

Fact...Mike Keenan stole his third nut from Roberts.

Kenny Melvin said...

The Gary Roberts joke has been over for a long time. It was funny the first five years it was used but now it's old and played out. Think of something better instead of the same old shit recycled over and over

Jason said...

Fact: kenny melvin is a douchebag and gets beat up daily.

douchebag, if the gary roberts thing is old and isnt funny, why does your user profile say:

* Gary Roberts
* Gary Roberts
* Gary Roberts
* Gary Roberts

Anonymous said...

haha jason I thought your response was a joke, but then I checked and then it wasn't hahahahah

Kenny Melvin said...

You're a fucking asshole Jason, don't make me fuck your mom AGAIN. Go jerk a dude off or something

Anonymous said...

Jonny V, great song reference...hahahaha

Tiff...can you use:

Peter Cetera - Glory of Love
The Karate Kid II

Smash Mouth - I'm A Believer

Bryan Adams & Barbara Streisand - Finally Found Someone
The Mirror Has Two Faces


snoopyjode said...

WTF?! where are the nhl awards? could it be that BOTH versus AND the nhl were wrong about the start time???

Kenny Melvin said...

Only on Versus would the NHL awards show be pre-empted by UFC wannabes

Anonymous said...

I am on hold w/ Versus right now, attempting to let them know they have put the wrong shit on.

Kenny Melvin said...

Versus now says the awards show will be on at ELEVEN!! THIS IS AN F'ING JOKE!!

marc said...

again, versus drops the ball.... what a joke network

Christina said...

fucking versus. this is such a joke.

Bing won the Pearson...awardees are being updated on

Jonny V said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Kenny Melvin said...

If anyone wants to voice their displeasure with this horseshit you can email:

Jonny V said...

Huuge catch there Karri...and peter cetera and Karate Kid II equals something above gold but below platinum, a spiffy metal if u will.

And too bad the NHL awards got pre-empted by the frat-boy fodder that is the UFC. Something about two dudes squirming around with each other half-nekkid, holding each other tight till the other one gives up...I don't know, that's kinda Kenny Melvin to me.

Anonymous said...

Dave at Versus Customer Service stated that he wished he knew what was going on and that he didn't know why the NHL awards weren't on. He said that other callers said there was a trailer on the bottom of their TV's saying it was going to be re-aired but he didn't know anything about it.

Kenny Melvin said...

The NHL is treated second-rate on the network where it's supposed to be number 1. If Versus won't treat the NHL with any respect why would ESPN or any other major national media outlets?

chris said...

this is the biggest joke ever

snoopyjode said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
snoopyjode said...

if you want to, you can tell versus what a bunch of jackasses they are:

snoopyjode said...

oh, nice. i'm really observant. i'm so pissed i didn't even realize the email address was already posted.

Spencemo said...

"Glory of Love" is, quite possibly, Peter Cetera's greatest solo tune. In fact, one day back in 1994, I heard it while I was getting ready for work. Later on, around lunch time, I heard it again, on the same station, which isn't unusual for a lot of radio stations, but this one had some kind of "only play a song once a day" policy. Since I enjoyed the song so much, I declared it a "Good Karma" day.

I met my husband that night. We had our 11th anniversary on April 20th.

Repeat after me...awwwwww...

Ryan said...

Fuck Versus.

marc said...

malkin got rookie of the year, terrien lost out to that vancouver guy

Anonymous said...

Sidney Crosby has won the Lester B. Pearson Award as most outstanding player as selected by the more than 700 members of the NHL Players' Association.

Christina said...

Sid got the Hart trophy as well.

now to write that email to the Versus idiot crew.....

Anonymous said...


wilsmith said...

STOP RUINING IT FOR ME!!!!!!!11112oneonetwo

anyway, jason, the pensblog hasnt stopped because people stopped posting songs, it just appears to have stopped because people keep wattering it down with garbage you dont want to look at.

Staff said...


Anonymous said...

somethin a little different for musicblog, misheard lyrics, this guy is hilarious as he shows his own version of Pearl Jam's "Yellow Ledbetter." make me fries...


Lloyd said...

Versus is the joke of television networks.

Can the NHL fans be pissed on anymore?

i'm not sure which is worse... the pre-horserace show... or that shit that was impersonating the UFC.

now i have to DVR the damn thing... and since comcast didnt update... i have record 2 shows that have a name nothing like NHL award shows.

/yea i'm pissed...

wilsmith said...

I cant wait to hear more anti-nhl talk on all the espn afternoon shows tomorrow, even though it's versus that dropped the ball.

Jonny V said...

Spence, partaker or no, 4:20 is one helluvan anniversary.

And hopefully this little sign of disrespect brings the silver lining of Bettman realizing Versus is a fucking joke and he should run back to the Evil Empire that is ESPN with his tail tucked between his legs like Scooby-Doo after seeing the horror that is Pamela Anderson sans make-up and beg for them to air this sport (a REAL sport, unlike fucking Texas Hold'em, World Ping-Pong effing championships, not friggin' rodeos {Oh that's Versus}). Sorry bout the rant, i'm watching the showbiz show and Dennis Miller is on.

And fuckin' A Crosby won the Hart. Geno won ROY. It's a beautiful day for hockey...

and eric i posted misheard lyrics guy yellow ledbetter like two days ago get withit buddy

Loser Chris said...

Therrien losing out to the guy from VAN is a joke. How hard is it to say, "Roberto, you're in net tonight." 82 times?

Pat said...

No harder than Therrien telling Crosby he's starting 82 times. I'm ok with Vigneault winning it. Ruff would have been a different story. The Sabres were supposed to be that good this year. The Pens and the Canucks weren't.

Spencemo said...

Well, jonny, we weren't aware of the significance of that date when we picked it...but, hey...when in Rome, do as the Romans do... IV:XX.


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