Thursday, June 14, 2007

The Hart of the Matter

7:45 pm.
Somewhere in Canada,
A family sits down to watch the NHL awards.

Canada Family - 1
United States hockey fans - 0

On a night that we should've been able to enjoy a watching the NHL awards live, Versus just sinks the whole world.
What possibily can be said?
Thanks to Seth from Empty Netters.
CBC screwed things up.
One of there trucks caught on fire forcing the delay.
So instead of enjoying the uncomfortable interviews on the "Red Carpet" and then getting to watch the Pens own the awards, we get stuck with boxing and extreme cage fighting.
Remember when NBC took the Ottawa/ Pens game 2 away from CBC.
Needless to say someone dropped the ball.

Pittsburghers were not surprised, as they are used to seeing balls dropped.

The Red carpet...

This says it all....and yes that is the moron from the Barenaked Ladies on the left.
The jury is still out on why he was there.

Watching the 11:00pm replay of the the awards, maybe it was better it wasn't shown.
The hosts on the red carpet were Kelly Hrudey former kings goalie.


The other people were some guy named Scott Oak, and some ugly slut who played hockey named Cassie Campbell.

Everything was a disaster. John Fedko must have produced it.
Sid and Jordan Staal got some interview time.
Everyone looked like they wanted to be somewhere else.
It was bad.

On to the awards.......

The square root of 7,569 took home the Hart Trophy,
given to the MVP of the league.
He also had sex with the Lester B. Pearson award, voted on by fellow NHL players.
Bascially Sidney Crosby is a bigger deal than you or any of us will ever be.

Sidney Crosby > Lebron James

Geno grabbed the Calder Trophy, rookie of the year.
He wasn't there,which was extremely dissapointing.
But never fear Lord Therrien came up to accept it for him.
He told a nice little joke.
It was so nice to see him.

Marty Brodeur took the Vezina Trophy home to his wife.

Ron Brindamour took home the Selke as the best defensive forward.
He made out with Body by Jake in celebration.

Homo Vigneault somehow snuck out of there with the Jack Adams, as best coach.


Lindy Ruff should of won for merely taking this picture:

Expect to see this in a Buffalo/Pens recap next year.
Solid senior year picture by Ruff
Click here for more unreal pictures.

Niklas Lidstrom is given the Norris, best defenseman.

Enjoy it now.
Mark Eaton will win this next year.

Phil Kessel battles back from testicular cancer to take home the Masterton.
Not to take away from Kessel's stuff.
But Gary Roberts battle some injuries this year.
No respect.
If you think we have forgotten Kessel beat us in a shootout last year, your nuts

All-in-all it was pretty much the most sucessful awards night in Pens history.


To clear things up, we were the ones who made those mockups of the Pens jerseys for next year.
The most solid jerseys we found for next year were the Capitals jerseys, so we based our prototypes off of those.

In all honesty, the dark jersey looks like total mud.


That lady is begging the UPS guy to come in and tag it.
Bet your life on it.

It's official.
Iron Mike and his three testicles are moving to Calgary.

Fact: Mike Keenan drinks his own pee.

...... Guess who is pissed off about the Penguins getting the Melody tent or whatever it is.

Mr. Wheatley described the URA approval as a "slap in the face," saying he did not believe a delay would affect interest rates enough to cause a problem with the arena financing.

"For me, I think that's just a cover for them trying to move this process without really having to make the Penguins make a true commitment in writing," he said.

Sorry Jake we can't hear you

We must have been to busy thinking about all the fun we are going to have celebrating at the Melody Tent.

Breaking news.

Lets go live to the Hill District HQ:

Sorry we'll come back later.

...and from crazy department.
This just hurts.
A SPURNED woman ripped off her ex-boyfriend’s testicle with her bare hands and attempted to swallow it, a court heard today.
Hey Kenny
Is this entertaining?


Just like Delilah After Dark (on Wish 99.7), tonight has turned into Pensblog After Dark.
One word: money.

Kenny Loggins bares a striking resemblance to Ringo Starr in this video.
(Thanks Jason)

A total make out song…
(Thanks again, Jason)

Number 5 is alive!!
(Thanks Jonny V)

Every dude wanted to be Ralph Macchio & every girl wanted to be his girlfriend.
(Thanks Karri)

Seal’s got it goin’ on…
(Jonny V)

And Whit sings her heart out…
(Thanks Pensblog Derek)

We are not cancelling musicblog, but we want some feedback on what you all think could take over this space from time to time.
There is only so many music videos you can take.
Let us know sucka's.

A Winter in the Sun
Game #23
November 28,2006
A couple headlines from tonight's game, but probably the biggest is Colby Armstrong finally getting a goal in the 2006-07 season. It happened less than two minutes into the game when Sid (he was back tonight; another headline) fed a pass cross-ice that Colbs managed to nick the post with and get it into the net. I can only imagine how nuts the Arena was he scored that goal.
The only downside from a good first period of hockey was leaving Viktor Kozlov alone in the slot. He got one past Fleury at the end of the first to tie the game up.


Teej said...

Go Fleury, it's yo berfday... something like that...

I'll echo the sentiment about LeClair... I didn't catch the game until about halfway through, and never even noticed he wasn't on the ice, nor did I even put his name in my mind once during the game. If the mention of LeClair being on the shelf last night wasn't in the blog post I never would have known otherwise, so I think that does say something.

Can't wait for Saturday's game, I'll be there - look for a guy in a plain white Pens jersey in the crowd (...on second thought, don't).

AHL All-Star
<span class=AHL
All-Star" title="AHL All-Star" border="0">

Joined: 28 Jan 2006
Posts: 5041
Location: Closter, NJ
PostPosted: Tue Nov 28, 2006 10:48 pm Post subject: Reply with quote

opie22002 wrote:
Fleury was awesome again! He doesn't get enough credit.

Sure he played well but a real #1 goalie should play like that every night. They routinely make the saves he made.

Everyone is a critic.
Two straight nights of Del Pen


Day Number 58


Seth Rorabaugh said...

A CBC truck almost caught fire and screwed everything up. It's the Canadian government's fault if anyone.

Anonymous said...

Musicblog comment:

I used to watch every video, and then read the whole post after the musicblog. Every time.

Then I started skipping some videos.

Now I skip every video, and usually even skip the bottom part with the day number to get straight to commenterblog.

I think it was a cool idea, but it's too much, too often, and I won't miss it if you cancel it. Sorry Tiff...

jamesFALLEN said...

Since the other awards were so late here's some others we can give out.

Best Hair? Talbot
Most Likely To Succeed? Crosby
Class Clown? Armstrong
Most Likely to Sleep with your Mom? Gary Roberts
Best Couple? Ouellette and Therrien
Viewers Choice

Which Penguin will get laid the most this summer?

Who is most likely to be gay?

Who will impregnate three ladies only to pay for thier abortions?


Tee said...

HockeyFightblog anyone? I have like 30 dvds worth of stuff, we could do best Pens fights etc...

Spencemo said...

Well, maybe we should limit Musicblog to one day a week...and have it be a themed event (sports videos, one-hit wonders, etc). I don't think we should kill it, though...

Ryan said...

Cutting musicblog down to once or twice a week is a solid idea. Right now it's just overkill. That's what youtube is for.

Hockeyfight blog is a fantastic idea.

And maybe feature one Penguin, current and former, per day and show videos of their top 5 moments or something.

Teej said...

yeah YouTube has plenty of TSN's Top 5 or Top 10 highlights, I know there's one of Jagr's Top 10 goals/assists, as well as Crosby's Top 5.

Korn said...

thank god, I thought everyone loved music blog. Always scroll right past it. Fightblog or PensHighlightBlog are good ideas.

John Tarbett said...

I was totally expecting the staff to rip on Ron Maclean today. Last night, he was interviewing Crosby and pretty much gave away the fact that he was gonna win the Hart. He said, "And Crosby you'll have another speech the make later tonight." Then he quickly backtacked and said Brodeur and Luongo had a good chance of winning.

snoopyjode said...

wow!!! sid = mvp & geno = rookie of the year! what an awesome way to start the day. bing is looking good with those trophies! however, THERRIEN WAS FRICKIN ROBBED. outrageous.

oh man, i almost spit out my drink when i saw the pic of kenny melvin's mom.

i am all for the penshighlightblog!!! here's my contribution: it's from the game vs. tampa bay on 1-7-07. I WAS THERE AND, OH MY GOD, IT WAS AMAZING. so amazing, in fact, that sid himself chose it as his number one goal for the year!

Antonette said...

Yeah, I kind of hate musicblog anymore. It should be a once every week (or every other week) with a theme.

I'm all for PensHighlightsBlog or HockeyFightBlog, though. Also, Highlights-From-CommenterBlog-Blog might be interesting.

The awards were pretty painful to watch, actually. It' smuch better to hear the players speak when they're talking about the game, during the game, than al wooden and blah on the red carpet.

Rod Brind'amour is the ugliest human being known to man. Just thought I'd re-bring that up.

Teej said...

Rod Brind'Amour could be a Simpson.

Kenny Melvin said...

You assholes can make all the lameass photoshops you want, it still doesn't take away from the fact that this blog has fucking sucked in the offseason. Musicblog is played out and the jokes aren't funny anymore. It's time to shut the blog down. It fucking sucks.

Spencemo said...

kenny melvin = dick

Jesse Marshall said...

Fact: Kenny has yet to grow pubic hair.

Nothing like a 16 year old talking shit on Pensblog.

Anonymous said...

I hope you guys are kidding about Cassie Campbell. She's captained the Canadian Team to more gold medals than Mario Lemieux did.

snoopyjode said...

again, kenny melvin, then JUST GO AWAY AND DON'T COME BACK.

jazzhall said...

New lead on Goligolski. Not big news, but its a slow day if you aren't golfing.

snoopyjode said...

i second that slow day comment, jazzhall. DAMN, is it 5:00 yet? no? okay, well, if you're bored, here's an article marking the 10th anniversary of the red wings limousine crash. i think it is cool that the wings are still helping konstantinov and mnatsakanov pay their medical bills after all these years.

snoopyjode said...

oh, and here's an interesting perspective on the controversial ending of the sopranos...

Jason said...

talbot is taking home the selke next season, i just know it.

i wouldnt be opposed to cutting musicblog down to a couple days a week, and hockeyfightblog is a great idea. hell, i'll even start it off

battle of the titans
Gary Roberts vs Rick Tocchet

rachel said...

I like the hockeyfightblog idea with musicblog a couple days.

Did anyone else notice Sid mess up when mentioning the other candidates for the Pearson? He thanked Vinny and Marty instead of Vinny and Roberto.

Anonymous said...

kenny = pwnt



Freddy Sanchez said...

I greatly appreciate the Dirty Sanchez on Kenny's mom's face

EmDubs said...

LOVE the Buy Crack Here picture.... ha ha ha

Kenny Melvin said...

Hey Canaan go suck a dick you flaming faggot. Where do you go to school CCAC, Slippery Rock, IUP? Which shit school did you just graduate from, I forget. Flip another burger you fucking dickwad

Kenny Melvin said...

Can't wait until this shit blog goes away finally. It's time for someone to write something entertaining and funny

Ryan said...

Ok, forget musicblog. Forget hockeyfightblog. Forget penshighlightblog (even tho it was my idea)

I nominate kennymelvinisadouchebagblog. Accepting photoshops asap.

Kenny Melvin said...

You're just on the staff's dick Ryan. You're just another asshole on this blog, so you fit in perfectly.

Spencemo said...

That's the best idea yet, ryan.

snoopyjode said...

okay, kenny melvin, i'm not going to trade barbs back and forth with someone who is nearly 1/2 my age and 1/16 my IQ, so i'm going to say this once more and then i'm done with you: GO AWAY. your life must be pretty pathetic if you have nothing better to do than sit at your computer and hide behind the anonymity of the internet so you can deliberately piss off a bunch of people you don't know so you can force your way into being the center of attention. we are all over it. you no longer exist here. oh, and by the way, since you seem to think the overkill on the swearing makes you sound all badass, you should know it is having the exact opposite effect.

Dwayne said...

Guys, I gotta get something off my chest.

It's about Malkin.

Like, he seems like a good guy. Seems like he's having fun and all that jazz. But does anybody get the feeling his heart really isn't into the Penguins and Pittsburgh so much? Or even the NHL in general?

I mean, i know it's the offseason, and god knows he needs a break, but who doesn't show up for an awards ceremony when you're pretty much a shoo-in for one of the more prestigious honors in hockey?

I guess I'm just afraid of another "dying alive" incident, and for that reason, I'm kind of blocking off Malkin in my heart, 'cos I'm feeling more and more sure he's going to bolt as soon as he can. And, I mean, of course he can do that if he wants, but I'm not going to get emotionally attached to the dude if he's going to /flee as soon as he can.

Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe it was his mother's birthday or his girlfriend was having his love child or whatever. Who knows. He could have had a legitimate excuse and last year he could've just gotten super tired instead of super apathetic. All I know is that both scenarios seem equally plausible, and in the interest of not being upset if the latter aspects are true and he does want to leave us, I'm going to have to start kind of ignoring Malkin a bit. As much as one can, at any rate.

Spencemo said...

OK, after this, I'm joining snoopyjode with the whole Kenny thing, but, for now, I have to share my theory.

I believe that Musicblog was pissing him off is because all of the songs being posted were songs suited for grown ups.

Maybe these will make widdle Kenny happy...

The Wiggles - Hot Potato


Thomas the Tank Engine - It's Great to be an Engine

Bob the Builder

There...that should keep him occupied so that the grown ups can talk...

Kenny Melvin said...

I thought the whole photoshop was out of line. I was voicing my opinion yesterday and even though it was harsh I shouldn't have been ridiculed as I was. I was trying to get you guys riled up and that was stupid.

Maverick said...

I agree with Dwayne..I see Malkin getting the Jagr treatment somewhere down the line altho Datsyuk wasn't there either..maybe it was a Russian Thing

Kenny Melvin=Jealous he didn't invent pensblog and pissed he is still in highschool

Kenny Melvin said...

I am pissed that i'm still in high school at the age of 25...

snoopyjode said...

alas, but i must concur with dwayne & maverick... i thought the same thing you did, dwayne, and since a player can only win the calder trophy one time - there are no "do-overs" on your first year - and he didn't bother to show up to accept it, i can't help feeling like he isn't happy here. whether "here" means pittsburgh or "here" means the nhl in general, i don't know. i kind of think maybe he wants to escape sid's shadow. (maybe HE wants to be a team's superstar?) but maybe we're overreacting and he didn't want to go to the ceremony because he can't understand what's being said and he can't give an acceptance speech... although, if that's true, that's frickin lame. all i know is if i was nominated for ANY nhl award, i'd be front and center in the auditorium - whether i could speak the language or not.

Kenny Melvin said...

Did anyone else get emotional over the last episode of the Price is Right with Bob Barker? I know it might sound gay but I was really broken up. I've been watching that show since I was a toddler and have really grown a connection with it. Bob Barker is by far the best game show host ever. Do you think there will be primetime specials when Alex Trebek and Pat Sajak quit, I don't think so. Long live the Price is Right and long live Bob Barker.

Staff said...



That was really gay

dying alive said...

The Bruins canned Dave Lewis. I guess that means no Hitlerblog next year.

I'm not worried about Malkin not going to the awards ceremony last night. It's a long trip for Russia for a one-hour ceremony that really doesn't mean anything (the award means something, but not the ceremony). He was probably afraid that they'd make him give some kind of acceptance speech. The guy is pretty obviously terrified to speak English in front of even his teammates, let alone on TV across Canada and the US.

And Dwayne, don't fear dying alive.

snoopyjode said...

dying alive, do you really think he is that freaked out by the language barrier? i mean, he's got an interpreter and gonch to help him through it. you make a good point about the long trip for a short ceremony, but i would think he'd want to be there. or perhaps it is a cultural thing - maybe ceremonies just don't have the significance in russia as they have here.

Mike Costa said...

This Is Handsdown The Funniest Post You Guys Have Posted In The Past Few Weeks

wilsmith said...

He's too busy conditioning for next season, that's all.

Jason said...

it is a little strange that he wasnt there considering he made a big deal about it earlier. didn't he even say that he would rather this be his rookie season so he wouldnt have to compete with sid and ovechkin for the calder?


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