Wednesday, May 23, 2007

Field of Nightmares

Final Score:
Who cares

Big news before the game, brought to us by The Rob King:
Craig Wilson cleared waivers.
He is now a free agent and can be picked up by any MLB team...or make your MTO at Sheetz.

Opening segment time.
You can't help but wish it were a penguins game.
Lets go to the Broadcast team.

Lanny Frattare and John Weiner

The Lanny Fratare dusts off the vocal cords greets us at the top of the broadcast.
You talk about patience, you talk about a broadcaster that has been with the Pirates through these dark times.

John Weiner is a moron.

If you look up "punctual" in the dictionary, you will find a picture of an MLB umpire.
If game time is 8:10, the pitcher is toeing the rubber at 8:09:46.

If you haven't umpired a cut-throat PONY tournament championship game at Peterswood Park, you haven't lived.



Well, Adam Wainwright got the start for the Cardinals tonight, even though he sounds like the fourth-string white wide receiver you can find on any NFL team.

The Pirates start the jobbing with Jose Bautista. 6-3, jack.
Sanchez comes up and dominates, going opposite field. He batted like .845 last year.
The Buccos getting ready to get demoralized by a double play as Jason Bay moves Freddy over to 2nd with a base knock.
Adam LaRoche and the most apathetic-looking batting stance in baseball comes to the plate.

LaRoche sees more balls than your mom's chin as Wainwright loads the bases with a walk.

Xavier Nady comes through with a ribby, and boom. 1-0 Buccos. That fast.
Flyin' Ryan Doumit up next. K city.
Paulino goes 6-3 to end the inning. 80 LOB.


The Duke got the start for the Buccos.
A 1-0 lead before you step onto the field is always nice.
Eckstein takes a pitch to left field. And so it begins.
Duncan gets hit with a Duke pitch.
Jesus walks to the plate.
Pujols hits into the infield fly rule -- Not to be condescending, but the infield fly rule prevents the defensive team from jobbing, dropping the ball, and getting an easy double play.
DUUUUUUKE. Rolen flies out to left to end the inning.

This batter-by-batter stuff isn't gonna fly.



Well, sweet.
Dukey gets a single, Bautista gets a single.
Freddy starts off 2 for 2. Wow.

Otis Redding steps up to the plate. K.
LaRoche K.

At the end of the inning we decided too take a field trip to PCNC.
Night talk with Mike Pintek

"Greg" from Mt. Washington gets on.
He brings up some good points about the smoking bans.
"People say smoking causes cancer. Well so does Gary Roberts"
Give it up to Pintek though. He handles it with poise. We will never job him again.
Just a solid human.

Back to Pirate baseball

Adam Wainwright decides to give himself a 2-1 lead when he hits one out to deep center.
Laroche cuts off the throw coming to the plate to the chagrin of everyone.
Inning over.
This post may be over.

Thanks to Lipps for this


Xavier Nady tries to beat out a grounder, but Scott Rolen is too quick.
That's as close to a tie as you'll see on a play at first.
"Runner gets the tie" is the biggest myth in the sports world.
The Baseball rulebook says nothing about ties; only that a runner must beat the throw to a base.
A strikeout, and a grounder. Half-inning.

Thanks to Lipps, again.

Bottom 3

We see Tony Larussa shotgunning a beer in the dugout.
Thats it.

We had Don Slaught jokes ready.

What a player
We had Ronny Paulino photoshops.

(the one and only J-Schiff)

And we ready to start the Vote for Don Kelly campaign for the all star game.

But the bottom line is that when it comes to Baseball recaps, we don't have it.
After barely getting through three innings, we respect our buddy over at
Where is Andy Vanslyke
The hardest man in blogging.

Pirates are mud though.
They were down 125-2 at last glance.

The ducks were cruising.
Up 4-1.
Visions of sugar plums dancing through their heads.
But then they went out and had a worse period than your girlfriend.

Do it

But the Wings couldn't tie it up.
The last minute of the game was what the playoffs are all about.

It is now set.

Game One
May 28

What a series.



...Bing and Geno win more awards

...Ron Wilson could get fired.. this link was just to make it look like we actually care whats going on.

....Is Center ice on its way out?

2007 Offseason Jobbing tour.


It has been a wild ride on the jobbing tour, but rumor has it maybe going on a little hiatus.

As much as it makes us psychically sick.
Give a little credit to Fedko

We caught the tail end of his show, and he has now embraced Gary Roberts.
We don't have the tape, but he shows Roberts pictures up and talks about him in glowing terms.
Well played.
Prank calls are meant to piss people off.
If people embrace it, it is not as funny.
And we will not be embraced by John Fedko
We will always think Fedko is a joke.
Unless he goes his mustache back, and stops covering high school boys.
That could help.
Are Gary Robert phone calls done on PCNC?

Music Blog

Good to start off with twisted sister
(Thanks to loser Chris)

The always honest Johnny V comes up huge

This first minute of this beyond bizarre.

And if you talk 1980's
You talk Michael Jackson

Yea he likes little boys, we know.
But he was sick back then

A Winter in the Sun
Game #8
October 24, 2006

The View Up Here Is Nice. PENS WIN.
Crosby and Malkin were toying with New Jersey all game, and then Crosby fed Malkin a three-line pass that Malkin received while barely staying onside. This goal is hard to explain, mostly because I'm at a loss for words even as I type this. My celebration of this goal consisted of me almost breaking my face trying to run up the stairs. Video of the goal can be found at

  • Penguins win face-off battle 25-24
  • What is up with Marty Brodeur this year?
  • Mark Eaton: 7 blocked shots
  • Maxime Talbot is an excellent PK man. Nearly forgot about that.
  • How excellent was Malkin and Crosby's celebration after Malkin's goal.
  • Pens on a 3-game winning streak
First time we didn't say how great Moore was

Commentorblog said:

Message board said:

This is from the game thread right after Malkin Scores.

AHL All-Star
AHL All-Star

Joined: 30 Jan 2006
Posts: 5159
Location: Pittsburgh, PA

PostPosted: Tue Oct 24, 2006 9:16 pm Post subject: Reply with quote

HOLLY ****!!!
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Joined: 29 Jan 2006
Posts: 2483
Location: Pittsburgh, PA

PostPosted: Tue Oct 24, 2006 9:16 pm Post subject: Reply with quote

HOLY ****!
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Joined: 28 Jan 2006
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PostPosted: Tue Oct 24, 2006 9:16 pm Post subject: Reply with quote

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PostPosted: Tue Oct 24, 2006 9:16 pm Post subject: Reply with quote

What a move
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Junior 'A'
Junior 'A'

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PostPosted: Tue Oct 24, 2006 9:16 pm Post subject: Reply with quote

That russian is pretty good!!!!!!!!! Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing

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Holy sthi.
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Good times


Day 35


Kenny Melvin said...

I think even Pirate bashing gets old after awhile. This is the most boring, uneventful piece of crap game i've seen in a long time. Time to go catch up on the Sopranos

rachel said...

Is Gary Roberts birthday being celebrated for 2 days because he is too much for one day since his birthday is May 23 or am I missing something?

Staff said...

its a week long celebration

Anonymous said...

Ramagary? i say we go a full 40 days for a GR birthday celebration


Jason said...

damn that fedko, hes gone and ruined a great joke.

Tiffany said...

Well guys, looks like Bombay came through after all. Go Ducks!! And posting Billie Jean was NO doubt appropriate.
Speaking of the '80s, how does Cyndi Lauper do that crazy thing with her lips??

Louis Lipps is my homeboy,
Thank you, thank you, thank you!!! After seeing the Never Gonna Give You Up video (ahem.....5 times), I found my Rick Astley cd & sang along. (Yes, I have the cd....& the tape.) How could you not fall head over heals for that deep voice, that cute smile, and those suave dance moves???
Ok....maybe that last one isn't true.

And she's watchin' him with those eyes....

I'm gonna knock you out....

Tiffany said...

P.S. Barrasso35 & Dying Alive, great minds indeed. The Outfield - Your Love is on my list of favorite '80s songs. (So don't worry D.A. You're not alone.) ;-)

Anonymous said...

Came across this band,this song my soph. year of college, i think it outta be added to the music blog...possible worst/awesomest song of that era
"Living in a Box" by Living in a box...gotta love the self titled band-song combo

~Phil (long,long,long time reader, always anonymous poster

Anonymous said...

This song has CLASSIC written all over it, too. just click the link, you'll be happy you did.

Barrasso35 said...

That is worrisome about Center Ice, but good news about a possible NHL channel. Living in Kansas if there is no Center Ice, there is pretty much no hockey... especially since our cable system doesn't carry Versus.

Every time the Penguins were playing on NBC they should show another game... except once, when the Penguins were winning and they switched, with no notice, to the Rangers/Islanders games... my mom was pissed. Every time NBC showed another game I e-mailed the sports director of my local station and got nothing in response. Bastards.

loralei said...

Barrasso35, I am feeling your pain. My life will pretty much be over if I have no Center Ice. I will then be forced to watch Bruins games and I wouldnt do that to my worst enemy right now. If you look up lethargically overrated in the encyclopedia there is a picture of Zdeno Chara. Just because the B's have blown since Ulfie took out Cam's knees doesnt mean that I should be forced to watch that debauchery.

Ok, I have to admit it to you.. I'm rooting for the Sens over the Ducks. I know, I know, but I have a rule. If the Pens arent in it, I root for what ever Canadian team comes out on top.


wes said...

Sorry I missed giving props for the wikipedia updates yesterday. I wonder how long it will take until they lock it for editing because of vandalism....

Dwayne said...

Blech. Rooting for the Sens? Not on my life. Or your life. Or anyone's life. Or our souls. Or the very world. Or even the universe.

I'd rather nothing existed than root for the Sens. I hope the Ducks literally murder and disfigure every Sens player on the ice.

Fuck Canada. They bitch about American Arrogance all the damn time, but as soon as hockey comes up, they turn into the most insufferable pricks the universe has ever laid eyes on.

Gavin said...

In terms of awesomely bad, I don't think that anything can possibly top this one.

The ~D said...

Don't ask me why, but I have a 10 minute version of "We Don't Have To Take Our Clothes Off" on my iPod. It's the most ridiculous remix ever created...awesome!

Great post by the way.

Korn said...

Does anyone know if the Pens games are blacked out on FSN if you have the Directv sports package and gives you all the Fox Sports stations? I just got it yesterday and the Buccos were blacked out and I fear the worst.

BTW, if Center Ice goes bye bye, you can always get a Slingbox. I bought one last year and watched the Pens all season is streaming video goodness. You just have to find someone in Pittsburgh that doesn't mind you hooking it up to their cable feed.

The ~D said...

The slingbox is much more appealing now that the price has dropped to around $100. If you buy one you can definitely hook it up at my place :)

One more 80's video...

phil said...

to bad i posted that rickroll'd song before lipps did

Jason said...

tiff, rick springfield is good shit.

i don't think anyone has given any love to eddie money yet, but if they have, sorry for bein a dick and reposting it

Lloyd said...

to add to the musicBlog:

you know you were Hot for Teacher at some point in your life...

And i will post this everyday until i see it on the blog.

and finally... no collection of music videos would be complete without...

Barrasso35 said...

Ordinarily, I would root for the Senators, since they're Canadian and I sort of like them, anyway. However, given the fact that they trashed the Penguins and my secondary team, the Sabres, in five games... plus the fact that I can see the Pens/Sens rivalry getting big in the next couple of years, throw Ric Jackman, Caron and Greg Goldberg in the mix and I've gotta go with the (formerly Mighty) Ducks. Wow... I never thought I'd say that in my life.

Sadly, I don't think it matters who they play, Ottawa is on a mission... they could still choke though. Wouldn't that be sweet, dominate, get to the finals in 15 games and then lose?

I'd almost feel bad for Senators fans if that happened... almost.

Jonny V said...

"suttlety" good God

And barrasso, i'm glad to see someone caught that with my avatar, done in tribute to Tiffany

Barrasso35 said...

Pensblog Staff-

I should have mentioned this already... Mad props for the Don Slaught pic. When I was a kid (and sort of liked baseball) my all-time favorite Bucs players were:

1. Roberto Clemente
2. Willie Stargel
3. Don Slaught
4. Andy VanSlyke
5. Orlando Merced

There's something about Slaught's mustache... were Gary Roberts to possess it, he could rule the world!

-Barrasso35, Knight of the CommentorBlog

Anonymous said...

I'd have to agree with Barrasso...Don Slaught was amazing

Anonymous said...

not nearly as good as Al Martin and his 2 wives and his claim that he plaid college football.

Jonny V said...

Slaught's name alone should be enough to strike fear into the heart of baserunners. "He tried stealing second base, but he got Slaught."

loralei said...

What no Spanky Lavalier? How could you not love Spanky?

wilsmith said...

Alright, I was hoping I wouldn't have to drop this bomb, but hear it is.
This song instantly makes me think of the 80s, and I challenge anyone to explain what's goin on in this video, the synchronized hopping, the guy wearing pillows... the midgets in tubes.


and one more classic:

The 80's sure were bizarre.

Tiffany said...

Phil, must have missed when you posted it......sorry. ;-( So thank you, thank you, thank you also!!!

Jason, Eddie Money - Take Me Home Tonight = $$$
Love that song....."Be my little baby."

[giving 2 thumbs up] Lloyd, good call on Sabotage.

& Will Smith, trying to guess what that video's about might be enough to send someone to Mayview. With that said, Fine Young Cannibals had it goin' on with "She Drives Me Crazy". Bravissimo!

wilsmith said...

as much as I hate it, I kind of like it.

does that make sense?

rachel said...

Happy Birthday Gary Roberts, first and foremost!

Will Smith, good call on She Drives Me Crazy. That song always got stuck in my head.

If the Pirates lose against Kip Wells, hope is lost.

bluzdude said...

If they go and ruin my access to Center Ice, I may have to kill myself. The alternative is watching Washington Capitals hockey, and that really is no alternative at all.
Only the NHL could screw up and prevent their fans from paying through the nose to view their product.
You guys might have to live-blog ALL the games from now on...

Louis Lipps is my homeboy said...

Here's one of those 80s songs that you have no clue what it is...

... then you hear the chorus and you're like "OHHHHH it's THAT song!"

And as a bonus, here's the same song being played to an entirely empty Los Angeles Coliseum for no apparent reason (a must see in my opinion):

The poodle mullet in both clips is impressive.

wilsmith said...

looks like someone went and fixed the fedko wiki page.

Jason said...

tsn is saying that baldsilly is trying to buy the predators now...that guy is a joke

Lloyd said...

yep... ball-silly has bought the preds.

still waiting on approval from the NHL
"The transaction is subject to league approval and that may take some time – sources suggest weeks as opposed to days – and it remains to be seen whether that approval will be granted. "

Nashville media outlets are reporting a news conference is scheduled for Thursday.

Louis Lipps is my homeboy said...

Another classic.

Jonny V said...
This comment has been removed by the author.


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