Monday, April 30, 2007

Skating Days

Solid weekend for the NHL...and hockey in general.


First.
On Sunday, Madison Square Garden had its biggest, most important event since the Muppets raised 2.7 billion dollars for aids with a sold-out, 5-hour epic concert that made Woodstock look like a Povertyneck Hillbillies concert.


Kermit the Frog's acoustic version of "The Rainbow Connection" later became an anthem for homosexuals everywhere.

On to the game.
Biggest game of the season for the Rangers, and they knew it.
We all have are opinions of Jaromir Jagr, but if you don't think he is a big-time player, you're insane.
Double J came out with flying and scored the all-important first goal.


Another thing no one will ever doubt:
tucked in shirt = homo

The teams jobbed the rest of the first.

Andy Dufresne risks being nabbed by authorities while attending the Rangers game.

The second period was quiet until Kickgate.
Karel Rachunek, a d-man for the Rangers who has no business being deeper than the faceoff circles, apparently made a kicking motion while trying to stop from going headfirst into the crossbar.
The goal initially stands, but let's go to the war room in Toronto.


The goal was disallowed.

Tough call.
We go into the third.
The Rangers get jobbed again on a questionable call.
Buffalo gets the powerplay going.
Daniel Briere:


1-1 dicks.

Both teams get some great chances, but it goes to OT.
At the end of the first overtime, Derek Roy rings one off the post.
Both teams look extremely tired in the second OT.
Then it happens..
Of all the people in the world, Michal Rozsival lines up a shot from the point.


Game.

Ranger coach Tom Renney jobbed the NHL in the post-game conference.
Complaining about the no goal:
"It has to be a distinct kicking motion," Renney said. "If that's distinct then we're all in trouble."


Game four is Tuesday night.

...............................

On to wonderful Vancouver for Game three of CaDucks.

Vancouver comes out flying.
But Jean-Sebastien Giguere was the living definition of weathering the storm.
He made a few unreal saves to keep the Ducks in it early.
A few seconds after that, Roberto Luongo misplays a puck...


Goal
1-0.

The Canucks battle back and end up tying it going into the third.
Anahiem kills a penalty and then draws one.
Power-play chance:


If we ran Ducksblog, we would've had a photoshop of Cory Perry flipping a light switch off.
Ducks win.


Bitches
..................................

Down on the Farm


Congrats to the baby Pens.
They beat the Norfolk Admirals 3-2 to advance into the second round.


Suck it Norfolk
(Anthony Costa)
...................................................

Let's fly to Moscow


No thanks Payne Stewart...we have are own jet.

Russia smokes the Ukraine

Alexei Morozov: 3 goals, 3 assist.
Almost instantly, 456 posts about bringing Morozov back to the Penguins appeared on the Penguins Message Board.

Team USA crushes Belarus

Adam Banks returned from a wrist injury and scored all five team-USA goals.

The Fins over Denmark

Denmark is a joke.

In one other game, the Czechs embarrassed Austria worse than when Fabio got hit by that bird.


Two seconds after this picture was taken, the chick laughing on the right met the business end of Fabio's wristwatch.
..............................................


May 2
11pm

Do-or-die newscast

How many segments does Sally Wiggin have left?
No one really knows.

17 comments:

Jonny V said...

Pretty sick Ranger-Sabres game, it looks like Buffalo has themselves a series. And to whomever still is mad at Jagr for leaving, let it go. Yes, I was pissed with the whole "Dying Alive" comment (not the female poster), and it sucked that he wanted to abandon us like that, but really, would you trade the team we have now for having him still on our team? Because I can almost guarantee you that if he would have stayed, Crosby, Malkin, Staal, and for that matter probably Fleury would not be on our team. Shit happens. Get over it...but I digress, all he needs is a fanny pack to complete the look with his jersey tucked in.

theNick said...

now i have to wait till friday may 4th to watch the Barbaro special and i don't even know what channel CNBC is. Thanks a lot NBC! [ends sarcasm]

Louis Lipps is my homeboy said...

Snoop in a Ducks jersey?

You mean when he wore that classic Pens jersey in the "Gin and Juice" video back in '94, he wasn't really the diehard Penguins fan I thought he was?!?!!?!?

loralei said...

Did you see the AP article in the post-gazette calling Michal Rozival the Rangers best defenseman? I almost spit my bagel out everywhere.. Oh well, good for him. I do still chuckle when he gets caught up ice though.

Congrats to the baby Pens! Bring on Hershey!

dying alive said...

Jonny, I agree, Pens fans need to let the Jagr thing go. After a season like the one we just had, how can anyone still be bothered to hate on anyone? That said, I think that the comment was hilarious and I'll use it as my username until the end of time and I think the way fans boo him every time he touches the puck is more of a tradition than anything. I think he even gets a kick out of it, you can kind of see him smiling/smirking when it happens.

Now tucking the shirt into the pants - that deserves ridicule.

Anonymous said...

Anyone see that Jobber in a Ward or Bettis jersey in Vancouver last night? Apparently I'll have to move out of North America to get away from Steeler Country.

Anonymous said...

closure - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kdkd2-l4IGU

The sting isn't going away for awhile...but this video puts it all in perspective. What a year. I think it's safe to say, regardless of cups to come and future success, we will never experience a season quite like this again. The Malkin saga. The slots license bullshit. Plan B. Sid pooping on the rest of the league. Sometimes with the disappointment of the loss, it's tough to be happy about the season. That video changed it all for me.

Stanley P. Kachowski said...

I understand the frustration on the 'distinct kicking motion', because we all felt the exact same think on Sid's goal in Ottawa. At least the NHL was consistent both times.

If I remember correctly, after Sid's goal, the NHL said something to the effect of 'intent has nothing to do with it', which I understand. Basically, I guess if your skate is moving independent of the skater's stride/glide and it strikes the puck and causes it to go in, it's no goal. I thought they could make the argument on Sid's goal a lot better than on the Rangers goal, though.

Jonny V said...

DA, good point on the Jags situation. I understand the booing, but the people that say they hate him after all the shit he did for our team, I don't know.

Anonymous, u have to leave the planet to get away from Steelers nation. It senses your fear, and it will now make you it's bitch.

Stanley, nice to see consistency now with the NHL, I remember the NHL disallowing a goal by the Penguins in the '99 playoffs because Jagr's skate was in the crease, although it was nowhere near the play. Then in the Finals, the Stars win with Hull's skate clearly in the crease. Total bullshit

Teej said...

Yeah louis, search for the interview Snoop did during that Ducks game on YouTube. To give you a hint...

"Yabba dabba dizzle, fo shizzle, nizzle"

Another segment had him sayin "This is Big Snoop Dogg, go Mighty Ducks, win us the World Cup!"

Snoop Dogg doesn't know shit.

Anonymous said...

the devils are about as entertaining as a tyler perry movie

Anonymous said...

Sally Wiggin has a trash mouth. I visted there office with a friend a few years back who works there and her mouth would have made a sailor proud! NICE post.

Barrasso35 said...

"This is Big Snoop Dogg, go Mighty Ducks, win us the World Cup!"

Hilarious. I hope the Ducks win the World Cup for Snoop and the rest of Anaheim. Someone needs to take away Snooop's Penguins jersey for that douchebaggery.

Nice Payne Stewart reference, by the way. Can't wait for the, "get a ride from Josh Hancock," jokes... or is it still too soon?

kristin said...

Yes! Another Jagr picture with a "tucked in shirt = homo" caption!

My week has been made!

teena said...

maybe just maybe...

can we get a HEROES recap?!

EmDubs said...

I would totally dig a Fedko Fone Zone recap..... you wouldn't really even need to insert your own jokes because the show itself is a complete joke.

rachel said...

Where is the Offseason Pic with day counter?

Masi Oka aka Hiro from Heroes was at the Sabres/Ranger game.

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