Saturday, April 14, 2007

4 - 3


3:00 start, right?
By the time NBC finishes going down on their corporate sponsors...and Brett Hull and Ray Ferarro got done talking...the puck finally drops at 3:20.

As soon as the puck hits the ice, the Pens get penalized. Questionable call on Staal.
Two-plus days of waiting for this? Sick.
Ottawa scoring on that power play seemed inevitable.

But Alfredsson jobs Fleury, and the Sens lose their power play.
Pens would get about 1:30 of power-play time; definitely enough time to set up shop.
Whitney cashes in, and the Pens silence Pedophile Arena.

Experience the Evolution of my balls jack.

The teams job around for a while; only 11 shots combined in the first period.

Orange Sherbert tries his little jump-check about 9:00 into the game.
Not today, douchebag.
He lays on the ice for 5 hours. What a joke.

The Sens came out trying to nail the Pens on every occasion.
Sidney Crosby responded by jobbing anyone that came close.

Sidney Crosby doing that didn't change the Senators fans thoughts on him; booing him every time he touched the puck.
As NBC alluded, Sid isn't the one Ottawa fans should be booing.


The rest of period was like watching a nightmare.
Recchi got humiliated, and then Crosby got high-sticked in the face.
No call.
It would be a theme in the second period.

Towards the end of the first, Christensen takes a penalty, but the Pens PK comes up huge.
You could tell this was going to be one of those blood-pressure games.


Breaking news from NBC before the second starts:
Chicago will get a possible bid for the 2081 Olympics.


The Pens were running Penaltyblog for the early parts of the second period.
Three minutes in, Christensen goes to the box again.
Little did he know that him skating to the bench after his penalty time expired was gonna be the last time he touched the ice this game.

After Melichar and Vermette go to the box for making out with each other, the Sens capitalize on the 4-on-4 opportunity.
Spezza backhands it in, and play-by-play guy Mike Emrick's voice goes through you like a knife.

He Skeeeoars!

Ottawa starts dominating in the shots department in the second period, outshooting the Pens 19-5. Wow.
MAF was on a hallucinogenic that no one even knows about; keeping the Pens in the hunt.

With less than 4:00 left in the second, Armstrong drives to the net on a 1/8 breakaway.
Emery stops him, but that doesn't stop Armstrong from going Mach 3 into Emery, dislodging the net and Emery's brain.


Two minutes for being a maniac.

And the Sens, to the delight of the people in Gay Arena, capitalize on the ensuing power play to take a 2-1 lead into the second intermission.

It doesn't matter if Jesus Christ himself walks through your front door -- you will chew off the face of anyone who says anything to you after the opposing team scores a goal in the playoffs.

Five penalties against the Penguins in the second.


Down 2-1. Here we are.
Nothing going for you; The capital city of Canada and Canada's media against you.
Back against the wall.
What do you do?

You get busy livin' or get busy dyin'.

Right off the bat in the third, Mike Comrie challenges Army to a fight.
They scrap. Mike Comrie's whole life is a joke.
20 seconds after that, Matt Fisher takes a slashing penalty.
Ottawa didn't know they could still be called for penalties.

Huge opportunity for the Pens.
And you know what that means.

On this week's episode, Evgeni Malkin passes to Mr. Gonchar.
Ray Emery can't find the rebound, and Gary Roberts teaches us how to bury an absolutely huge playoff goal.

Fact: 3 seconds after this picture was taken, somebody died.

So, back where we started. All tied up.
Both teams get some great chances.
But then Mr. Gonchar gets called for a penalty. Phantom call.

And you know what that means.
The Pens have to get up for another shorthanded performance.


And they kill it.
And then WPXI flashes a poorly designed graphic.
Its starts off saying " The Steelers Announce..."


" They have released their 2007 schedule."
And then with this stupid blue graphic on the screen, Ottawa scores.
We know who was behind this.

Rich Walsh about to go see what Ben Roethlisberger's farts smell like today.
John Fedko about to go see what Rich Walsh's farts smell like today.
Mmmmmmmm. They smell like failure.

Okay, so, now it is nothing but bad times.
Ottawa is up 3-2; third period depreciating fast.
But, this is the playoffs. We knew what we were getting into when we signed up for this.

With less than 10 minutes remaining (and let us be the first to say), Michel Ouellet made a huge play.
He nails a Senator.
Roberts executes a tombstone pile-driver on some unlucky and unsuspecting human being behind the net. Ouellet passes in front.

Staal, Jordan Staal.
Tied 3-3.

After the Pens tied it, you could feel the collective butthole of Ottawa fans getting tighter.

Tell us about it.

The refs let the teams play for two minutes.
Dan Alfredsson has a golden opportunity on Fleury, but his stick chokes.
The puck gets to Malkin. First time in this series he has actually had room to skate.
He makes a sick pass to Recchi.

...You see a white blur at the top of your screen...

Recchi winds up to pass.
The blur becomes an image.
The image is Crosby.
Crosby becomes a man.

Canada is stunned.

Someone once said:
"Great players aren't always great; they're just great when they have to be."
Huge goal.

Now it all lies on MAF's shoulders.
As time ticks by slower than the Ottawa Senators fan club on a treadmill, MAF stands strong.

The dude on the right is Jason Spezza's brother.

Under seven minutes to play, the refs job Evgeni Malkin.
We hate to sound like homers, but wow.

The Pens must rise above again...
And they do.
Byran Murray calls a timeout with six minutes to go.
He draws a play up in the dirt.
No dice.
4 Minutes.
3 Minutes.
The next two minutes can only be described as a blur.
Somehow we wind up with Ray Emery pulled and there's under thirty seconds left.
The Sens get a chance in front.
But MAF makes the biggest save of his career.
You wait till the puck gets chopped out of the zone before going nuts.


  • Crosby: 1 G, 1 A
  • Malkin: 2 A
  • Gonchar: 2 A
  • MAF: Biggest win of career.
  • Shots: OTT : 37 -------- PENS : 21
  • Powerplay: OTT : 1 for 9 ------------ PENS : 2 FOR 3
  • If you've watched the highlights of this game on at least 15 times, you are not alone.
  • Fleury answers the critcs. Great performance.
  • Gary Roberts telling that ref off in the third is why Gary Roberts is great.
  • Ottawa can suck it.
  • Sorry if anyone's "Malkin's Gonna Score Saturday" checks bounced.
  • Mellon Arena, tomorrow night. Goosebumps

Sens fans - chris yarbrough
dumb and dumber - Marcie Warner
007 - Matt Felser


Islander Watch: 3 - 2 winners of Buffalo.
Series tied 1 - 1.
Nassau Coliseum in the playoffs. Wow.


Special Birthday Wish from Jeneen Ausk:

Go Pens.


marc said...

absolutly, bar none, the funniest blog of the year...

sens fans with the "we are gay" tshirt - classic
was brett hull in dumb and dumber? awesome pic
roberts does look like hes gonna kill someone... he enjoys eating 1st borns for breakfast
fedko is a joke
fat guys pic is hilarious.... i laughed my ass off

wonderful job guys, keep it up

MAF is my hero

Mike Costa said...

Wow, What A Game! Suck It Ottawa! I'm Getting Sick Of These Canadian Refs, We All Know They Want Ottawa To Win But Crosby Showed Ottawa's Fans What Happens When You Piss Him Off

bryan said...

holy shit that gary roberts pic with the reporters is epic! scope potash in the top left corner he totally knows g-love is fixing to rip somebodies heart out.

Steeltown Mike said...

He Skeeeoars!

Right on. That reminds me of some movie character that I can't quite put my finger on.

And Jason Spezza's brother totally looks like Burglekutt from "Willow".

Kim said...

Haha! Best blog all year for sure! Marc, gary def. has that, "wait till i eat ur first born, then u'll think twice about that question" look on his face...

The guys came up big 2day when they needed to! Did anyone else notice Eric Christensens mean playoff beard? I didn't think he could grow a playoff beard!?!

MAF is a champ!23094892384092384 saves 2day! He came up big so many times i can't even count them.


Anonymous said...

emrick has got to go.
"scales it around the boards"
"three quarters of a minute remain"
you mean 45 seconds?
everything he says is retarded as he tries to think of something that will become a staple of hockey commentating.

oh and malkin in the third, I'm pretty sure he got called for being hooked by alfredsson.

and way back in the first, army got called for an agressive forecheck.

these things are illegal in kanata, the boys must learn.

oh and tomorrow if you're going, don't boo the canadian anthem

and please, sign ideas for tuesdays game, it will be plenty visible

Andrew said...

i have to fucking work tomorrow. so i can't see the game. boo!


go pens!

Scott said...

love the sens fans...that shit is was just like lets go bitch...thats y army rocks

PittCheMBA said...

Rick Walsh looks like Alfred E. Neuman from MAD Magazine.

Anonymous said...

'A bunch of small, awkward birds hobbling towards me while squawking is not in any way fear-inducing.'

I read that in my Penguins-crazy friend's blog today. She then referenced the Bud Light commercial, as to why we should fear the penguin.

I think she has a point. Today's game proves it.


Loser Chris said...

That fat guys pic almost killed me!

Those refs could not have done a worse job today. The only call on the Pens that was legit was the slashing call on Petro. The Staal/Army/Malkin calls were possibly the three worst calls ever, I'm surprised the fans didn't throw hats on the ice for the refs to celebrate. And how could they not call the cross check to Sid's jaw at the end of the 1st?

Flower, Army, and Roberts all played out of their minds today. Big time props to all the penalty killers too. Huge effort.

Enjoy the home game tomorrow. We've earned it. Hopefully I'll be able to watch it down here in the Lone Star State. And for heavens sake be careful going to the game... Dany Heatley will be driving to the Igloo too!!!

Anonymous said...

yea, when the steeler bulletin came up, i was like ok, this should be interesting...then i see “the steelers announce...they have released their 2007 schedule.”

i was like, what the fuck, didnt we know that since like wednesday?

oh yea, laraque starts today. sorry guys, but petro didn’t impress me very much. i know some will disagree, but i did not see anything special from him.


Doug said...

Colby's skating reminded me of Luis from D2. What a skater.

Anonymous said...

Injury report from Ottawa...Rainbow Sherbert day to day with a bruised uterus.

Anonymous said...

great pic of roberts telling off the ref...

Anonymous said...

My "Malkin scores" check for $40 bounced... but my "MAF has a huge game" check for $100,000 got cashed in big.
Game 2 was your guys' best recap of the year. Great job Pensblog... great job Pens.

Anonymous said...

My "Malkin scores" check for $40 bounced... but my "MAF has a huge game" check for $100,000 got cashed in big.
Game 2 was your guys' best recap of the year. Great job Pensblog... great job Pens.

Anonymous said...

Has anyone else developed a hatred for Bryan Murray? Everytime I see his lisp speaking ass I want Talbot to kick his ass.

I know Game 2 was huge... But we all know this game is a statement game as well. I guess that's what the playoffs are though.. EVERY game is a statement game.

Mellon, I couldn't buy tickets because I live in Maryland so I expect you to create the most insane Penguins Playoff atmosphere ever.

DO IT!!!!!!!!

Mat said...

Malkin has had some tough times lately. It's his first season, extra long and extra tough, in a culture he's not used to, and he's obviously hit a wall. The Sens' third goal occurred because he left his guy in the middle to chase the puck instead of staying with his man, something he does all the time.
Ah well. At least he's TRYING to play D - he could be like Kovalchuk, and treat his own zone like it was radioactive and just hang out around the red line cherrypicking all game.
This team, win or lose, is never out of it.
What an unbelievable game by Fleury.

Let's Go Pens.

Mat said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Tiffany said...

Experience the Evolution of my balls jack.

Great line....haha. And you guys read a lot of our minds mentioning that stupid Steeler schedule update. Don't get me wrong. 'Cause I like the Steelers (as do many others), but what the heck was that doin' there?? Oh yeah....what was up with all of the lopsided calls by the refs?!?! Completely ridiculous & unfair. There were SO many things Ottawa got away with.....really irritating. [inhales, then exhales] Just hope we get better officiating tonight.

Now on a lighter not....Marcie, what an awesome Dumb & Dumber pic!! Can't believe how perfectly they fit there....kinda scary. :-)

Steve In Denver said...

Today's blog was as funny as MAF's balls were huge. Dumb and Dumber made me laugh so hard I crapped on my cat. Sorry puss.

Waning moments of Game 6, Pens up 4-2, Ray Emery challenges Army to a duel after getting mauled for the past week....but he trips over Heatley's beer bottle, lands face down on Alfredson's vagina. Game. Series.

Bitch slapping the home team in the playoffs is huge. Lets go back to Ottawa up 3-1.

L E T 's G O P E N S !

Andrew B. said...

If any of you didn't see the Empty Netters post, do so. Let's blow the roof off of the igloo, and, perhaps not as importantly, respect O Canada.

Andrew B.

Tee said...

Steeltown Mike you bastard. I wanted to be the first to point out Spezza's brothers uncanny resemblance to Burglekutt. Awesome game, GDC was off the hook during the pregame. Heatley jokes abound. Hope you had fun umping Adam.

Steve In Denver said...

Heatley's sure to be off his game Sunday. Singer Don Ho, famous for "Tiny Bubbles", passed away at age 76. Heatley = Heavy Heart

Peace out, Ho.

I'm slapping a #10 on my daughter's soccer uni today...she'll be a menace. It will be a Sunday Bloody Sunday on the girls U-7 field for sure.

Steve said...

Man did I miss this feeling! You can't beat playoff time.

Today was a fucking insane game, Crosby, Fluery, and Roberts were machines, So Cluth.

The only thing that could have made that game any better is if the NBC guys would have shut the fuck up. God they are brutal. Why don't they just wave a Canadian flag across the screen.

Great Recap yinz guys. Spezza's brother, That shit was hilarious.

Go Pens!

Louis Lipps is my homeboy said...

I agree with the anonymous guy, don't boo the Canadian national anthem or talk during. Pittsburgher's good people and we have the proper respect. But also, feel free to sing along with ours!

Alright, I'm admittedly drunk. See ya tomorrow!

thomes08 said...

wow.... christ really didn't play after his second call.

I was wondering where he was.

Heart Attack City

Chris said...

I said it once, and I'll say it again:

Mike Emrick>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Steigy.

At least Doc will show some excitement, rather than just mumble like Steigy until one of the Pens score.Regardless, great win yesterday!

- The Other Chris

JSchiff said...

Gotta be the best recap of the year. Playoff quality stuff, guys...

FritoWill said...

hey guys, Gameday Chat was off the hook yesturday.

And now the moment comes where I spread the news of DrunkinTee after Roberts goal.

"I wanna suck Roberts dick"

My wife noticed something really sweet about Roberts, but I have to wait until Monday's post for Derek and Adam to post....i have a feeling i won't be able to wait that long.

How many PP;s will Ottawa have tonight....267???

Its nice to see a fight (if you can call it that) change the momentum our way.

So much more i can't remember.

Tony said...

Hey boys...

We must be in the playoffs, you guys have turned it up at least a couple of notches !!

Top-shelf stuff, indeed...

The Confluence of the Three Rivers

Tee said...

Actually Will, I said "I WOULD suck Gary Roberts' cock." Like ya know, if he asked real nice or something. He might have to buy me a drink or two but hey... it would be exciting flirting with death that way.

I mean that in a totally non-gay way, if that's possible.

Loser Chris said...

Bryan Murray thinks "thath inthane Thee!"

Anonymous said...

mike emrick might have a little more enthusiasm then steigy, but his voice is annoying and he looks like a troll. jim hughston (tsn, cbc, and the play by play in the ea sports nhl games) is better then both of them. However, all of these guys bow down to the immortal gary thorne. I miss espn national hockey night so much.


Steve said...

Gary Thorne was born to call hockey games, but none of the broadcasters have shit on Mikey Lang.

I hope he doesn't quit at the end of the year cause I still love the radio show...

dying alive said...

I think EC was benched after his second penalty, but on the third game he will surely rise again.

The announcers yesterday were definitely pro-Senators, but I wonder if Crosby ever gets tired of these tools kissing his ass? Not that he doesn't deserve all of the recognition he gets, but they were laying it on a little thick yesterday with their "Crosby cam." The guy can't fart without the TV crew turning it into an international incident.

Fleury is a maniac. Crosby is a maniac. Roberts is certifiably insane. I love this team.

rachel said...

Guys definitely one of the best posts ever! Ferraro and Hull look like they belong on that pic.
Fact: 3 seconds after this picture was taken, somebody died.
Does anyone else wish Roberts was their dad? Cause I do.
MAF was on a hallucinogenic that no one even knows about; keeping the Pens in the hunt.
I'm betting it was a mix of Max's LSD and Roberts "special" juice. When the Steeler thing came up, I almost threw my friend at the TV. Best part of the post...
...You see a white blur at the top of your screen...

Recchi winds up to pass.
The blur becomes an image.
The image is Crosby.
Crosby becomes a man.

Joe, I feel the need, the need for speed. Great photoshop!

This has to be the best quote... Roberts will be killing tonight.

The message was clear.

Neil and the Senators haven't heard the last from Roberts.

They probably should consider themselves warned.


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