Sunday, March 11, 2007

The Skates of Wrath

Two things before we get started:

1.Thanks to Steel Town Mike for having us on his show last night. SteelTown Mike is money in the bank. You can listen to it here

2. Daylight savings time is the gayest thing since Cheer Bear from "Care Bears."

On to some NHL stuff.

NBC had Bruins vs. Red Wings.
Bruins dominated.
Dave Lewis shouldn't be allowed to coach nationally televised game anymore. His mustache has to make everyone uncomfortable.

So many jokes work; none will be used.

....Only one other game important to the Pens.
Jagr comes back from Wheeling Downs to help beat the Hurricanes.

...Chris Simon is suspended for the entire year.

Ted Nolan, your thoughts:

" Too bad the NHL wasn't around to dish out suspensions at the "Battle at Wounded Knee."

Simon's suspension is longest in the history of the NHL.

Hunter douches Pierre Turgeon

"I can't believe I shook that guy's friggin hand.."


Alexander Perezhogin Slash
(commenter Andrew)
On to some Pens stuff..

...Here is the "Coach's Corner" from Saturday night. Scan towards the end to hear Don Cherry make a case for Staal to be rookie of the year.
A lot of people like to job Malkin for no reason at all.
Look, Staal is money in the bank. But Malkin is rookie of the year. You can make great arguments for both.

....Bob Smizik goes nuts on Ed Rendell. Good times.

.....Ron Burkle might buy out Mario

As long as the Pens stay, who cares who owns the team?

..And in case you forgot to watch ESPN for ten minutes, the NCAA tourney is starting.
Gary Roberts is the 10-seed in the Midwest bracket.


The first round of the Arena Photoshop will be posted Monday night.
Here is one picture we couldn't wait to post.
As always, click to enlarge.

"Reservoir Pens"
Jason Schiffhauer

Keep them coming.
Go Pens.


Pronovost said...

Hmmmm.... I think the man in charge should make an exception and let Georges be Mr. Black.

Anonymous said...

Somehow this site made me spit my sprite out all over my keyboard...

The Wizard of Croz is amazing

Staff said...

hahaha I vomitted when I saw it..

Wait to you see the other ones..

Anonymous said...

The Wizard of Croz is money in the bank. MAF as the lion is even more money!

rachel said...

Peter's Wizard of Croz, haha! I can't wait to see the rest of the photoshop pics.

I like how EC is Toto and Malkin is the scarecrow without a brain, haha

Joshua said...

malkin looks like he's been heavily drugged!

Steve said...

Oh man that stuff is funny! Wizard of Cros - hilarious.

I can't stand it. Wednesday seems like a million years away and I'm afraid I'm going to inadvertently choke someone while I'm waiting.

God I hate Rendell.
I just felt like saying that.

Loser Chris said...

- Wow, Brett Hull making a valid point? Their stocking up on thermal underwear in Hell.

- The Granato slash on Wilkinson never gets enough play. That thing was vicious.

- Staal has never been a minus in a game? That's unreal.

Anonymous said...

there has got to be a stat for cheapshots/suspension worthy actions out there somewhere. seems like there's alot of that going on this year.
im thinking the more strict rules as far as the 2 hands on the stick and more diving calls this season are causing guys to hold back a little during gameplay, but then take out their frustration in other, cheap, ways. i duno just my thoughts. what do you guys think?

wonder how long Hunter will be out for the Lower Cases? not that it matters anyways....


Andrew said...

on the simon thing, did you guys see Perzhnogin's baseball swing in the AHL? the guy had a siezure on the ice because of it. it has to be the worst i've ever seen.


tiffany said...

To Pete with "The Wizard of Croz" and Jason with "Reservoir Pens," your pictures are awesome!!! I love both of them and I'll probably love the other ones that have yet to come in too. =)

Staff, thank you SO much for posting a link to your chat with Mike Lange. I REALLY wanted to listen to it, but I don't think it was possible for me either. You guys were teriffic on there and you gave us all a shout out...yay!!! That was really sweet of you. (Don't cringe at the word 'sweet,' because it's a good thing.) ;D
Something not so sweet, however--Daylight Savings Time IS gay, but the Care Bears are NOT gay!! ;) Hehe....and interesting what Cherry says about Staal. I don't think I can decide which one should get ROY cause I love 'em both. As long as one of them gets it.....I'll have to see what they both do for the rest of the year to decide.
Oh, and what's up with Dave Lewis?? You're right...."so many jokes work." Let me just say that he seriously needs to reconsider his face fuzz. What could possibly be going through his head where he feels the need to have a moustache like that??? Creepy......
Btw, thanks for finding out the correct amount of days Simon was suspended. (I was a few off.) I can't believe Alexander Perezhogin and the fact that he's still playing, though!! If you don't know what his punishment was, you can go to this website and scroll to the bottom:

I'm super tired right now, but I had to let you guys know how money you are. ;) I sincerely mean that; you have no idea how much this site means to me. Everytime I come here, I laugh out loud at least five times. So you're keeping me healthy, while the Penguins are giving me heart attacks....but I love "The Cardiac Kids" for it and I love The Pensblog!! *_*

Harry (From WWWPM) said...


Wes said...

How about Sat night my girl and I went to see Zodiac at the South Side Works Cinema. We are waiting in line to get some popcorn when she whispers to me jokingly, "Look there's Laraque." I did a half turn and saw the guy's hair, and sure enough it was him! Then she thought I was joking....

He was with another guy who appeared to be his best friend. So we went in to our movie and here he sat two rows behind us and walked right by. They were speaking French (hence the best friend assumption) and looked like they were double-dating. No one said anything to him and I wasn't about to be a mark and blow his cover. He was already in one fight earlier that day, and I did not need to be victim #2. He's a big guy.

Anonymous said...

Where do I find the chat with Mike Lange?

dying alive said...

So I turn on my computer this morning and the first thing I see is The Wizard of Croz. Priceless.

Then I noticed that it said "playoff edition" and despite it being Monday morning, I'm now in the best mood ever.

Adrienne said...

After watching that hit "highlight" video I wanna deck Bertuzzi even more. Fuck a fucking douchebag. He shoulda been banned, McSorely should have been banned, and now Simon.

Fuck Bettman. Bad call 3 times over. Even Brett Hall agrees. GG!

Still not quite sure what I think about the prospect of Burkle owning the team. Something just doesn't sit right with me on that.

rwarner174 said...

What is even more awsome about stall's plus minus is that he plays on almost every penality kill. That is amazing. Maybe he should be rookie of the year.

John said...


I don't believe if a goal is scored on the other team's powerplay the shorthanded players get a minus, similar to the fact that the powerplay players do not get a plus when they score a goal

Elizabeth said...

Wizard of Croz is amazing.

Maybe I am crazy but I don't think the Bertuzzi thing was nearly as bad as what Simon or McSorley did. Because of the horrible result, it got a lot of press. But if Moore walks away, no one says too much. It just didn't seem as vicious as what Simon or McSorley did. Does the result matter as much as intent? I don't know.

Steve in Denver said...

F'n Sweet. Love the Wizard of Croz. It is so wrong in so many ways. Wish they put a huge hockey stick in the tin man's hands instead of the axe. Maybe Oullet should have been Dorothy?? Or Mad Max with heavy 5 o'clock shadow.

Perezhogin....holy crap. Why does this stuff happen in's awful for the game.

Keep up the good work, folks. Love it!!!

Jon said...

Daylight savings time is a blessing...I worked the night shift saturday night in my Labor and Delivery ward, and anything that gets me away from screaming Marine babies an hour early is A-OK in my book

Andrew said...

Perezhogin happened in 03/04 Calder Cup playoffs. it's not like it just happened. it's a brutal video though.


Anonymous said...

Hey Guys...thanks for the link to the Saturday night radio show on Uniontown's WMBS 590 AM...with Steeltown Mike (Mike Krcil). All I could get was Youngstown's 570 AM with Bob Costa. :('re now famous! huh! Go ThePensblog...

Unbelievable job again on the post...I love this site...I'm so glad someone told me about it...I laugh at every post at least three times...I'm goin back to previous posts just to see what I missed.


Steeltown Mike said...

To the anonymous poster looking for "Mike Lange" convo:

Unfortunately, the show was just with me, just another jobber with a blog who also happens to have limited access to a radio board. But Mike Lange was kind enough to do a liner for my once-in-a-blue-moon show.

And guys,

"Money in the bank?" I suppose, if tripping over my tongue every two minutes for someone who's supposed to be a professional counts, I'll take it.

Tee said...

Finally, a new monitor and I'm back in action... a 19 inch widescreen LCD nonetheless, if you want to see the video of the Perezhogin slash its on youtube

just shows you how players learn to play when they're not allowed to fight, like in europe and russia.

Wes, just in case you ever run into BGL again you should know he's considered one of the nicest, softest spoken guys in the league. He'd be more than happy to talk to you I'm sure. Plus you'd get to shake that infamous left hand.

Anonymous said...

shouldnt gary roberts replace Oral Roberts as the 14 seed instead of Ga. Tech in the 10 seed. The semantics of it makes too much sense.

phil said...

big NHL news:


Anonymous said...

"NHL Signs Broadcast Deal With Food Network"

steeltown underestimate yourself - you do a really good job!

Staff...I just got done reading your September posts...hahahahahaha! I especially liked the "Mighty Ducks" references and the comments on the new Sabres logo. (Looking forward to October.)


butter said...

I saw this on Eklund's website, and though its probably BS I thought I'd post it here. I'll take any good sounding news at this point.

PittCheMBA said...

Reservoir Pens reminds me of "The Good (Mario), The Bad (Onorato), and the Ugly (Fast Eddie Rendell)". Lukey Skywalker is too young.

Teej said...

hahhaha yes, the September posts with the Ducks were gold... "Quack, sucka"

and The Pensblog on Pittsburgh radio... money. Haven't listened to anything that good since I was first introduced to the band Helmet... haha

As always, hysterical post - you guys (including fellow commenters) always have me laughing like crazy.

go Pens


We are in no way affiliated with the Pittsburgh Penguins of the National Hockey League.

In accordance with the Fair Use Copyright Law, The Pensblog uses logos and registered trademarks of the National Hockey League to convey our criticism and inform the public.

Photos on The Pensblog are used without permission but do not interfere with said owner's profit.

If you own a specific image on this site and want it removed, please e-mail us ( and we will be happy to oblige.