Thursday, March 29, 2007

Boston Tea Bag Party. PENS WIN.

4 - 2

It is so overstated these days, but -- back in October, if you told people that that Pittsburgh Penguins would have 100 points on March 29th -- Someone would've beat you within an inch of your life and crapped in your pet's mouth.
Good times.

But 45 seconds in, it looked like bad news. Andy Ference shoots one from the point, and Brandon Bochenski gets the rebound into an wide-open net.
1-0 Boston.

" Hey, MAF, it's cool. Let's go get drunk and have someone put the pictures on their blog to get hits. "
" Good idea, Sid. Go Pens. "

On the next shift, Armstrong gets owned into the boards.
Power play.

The big boys can't get anything going.
The second PP unit comes out ready to dominate.

Aaron Ward crushes Christensen into the boards then forgets about him.
The puck eventually finds Christensen's stick in the sweet spot in the slot.
He charges up his shot.
It was either gonna miss the net, kill goalie Tim Thomas, or go in the net.

Later in the first, the new NHL seemingly disappears.
Aaron Ward shows up again, hooking and tripping Crosby like it's his job.

Crosby fights along the boards and somehow keeps control of the puck.
Sid would be tits on American Gladiators.

Nitro was a machine.

The Pens keep coming, Christensen flips a nice lead pass to Army who backhands it top shelf. 2-1 Pens.

After a delay while jobbers fixed the ice, Lance Armstrong knocks a shot out of mid-air past MAF.

Before you knew what was going on, the Pens come flying back into the Bruins' zone.
Christensen fires another wrister past Tim Thomas.
The best part was the awkwardness felt in the arena when the Boston P.A. announcer did his post-goal "wooo!" right after Christensen scored.
Boston is a mess.

Later, Zdeno Chara, the 8th wonder of the world, trips over himself while Laraque was just chilling there.

You're black, so that's a penalty pal.
Heil, Dave Lewis.

While the Bruins are on the power play, some monkeylicker hits Colby with a high stick.

That's legal.

The rest of the first was mud other than Zdeno Chara breaking out into the parking lot and flipping over cars onto 50 Causeway St. in downtown Boston.


Before we get to the second period, we wanted to wish the Bruins and their fans good luck on the golf course this off-season.

April 8th.

As back and forth as the first period was, the second was much more controlled.
Both teams playing good defense.
Midway through the second, the Pens get called for yet another too many men on the ice penalty.

do it.

MAF is focused and doesn't let the Bruins get anything going.
Malkin comes storming out of the penalty...drops a pass to Army.
Big Ben strikes one.

Towards the end of the period, the Bruins start coming in waves.
They hit the post on consecutive shots, and almost score even after those two.
Dave Lewis no question has rallied the troops.

This was only a matter of time.
Don't be offended.
We think every ethnicity and religion sucks.

The Pens fought back though.
Malone made a nice move on a breakaway, but Thomas said no.
Just before the period ended, the Pens drew a penalty.
Nothing doing though, as Boston ace Dice-K struck out Malkin with the bases loaded to end the threat.

Dice-K strained his scrotum and didn't make it out for the third.

The third period opened with the Pens on the powerplay.
But they couldn't get anything going.
Tim Thomas woke up and actually started play halfway decent.
After killing the PP, the Bruins gained the inevitable momentum.

Michel Ouellet helped out even more, as he mistakingly shot the puck into the stands from his own zone.
But the penalty killers stood tall yet again.
Ryan Malone fielded a puck with his glove and got it out of the zone.

Gotta make that play.

The teams continued to trade scoring chances, but the goalies were up to the task.
Midway through, Joe Melichar got faceplanted into the boards, hitting his forehead on the crease of the boards on his way down.
But he got up and laughed it off.

Joe Melichar might not be that great of a defenseman.
But he is tougher than you are.

The Ruutu-Malkin-Laraque line generated some chances tonight.
Laraque led Malkin on a sweet pass, but Andy Moog says no dice whitey.

Terrible goalie.

The hard work does pay off, though, as Aaron Ward takes his 400th penalty of the game.
You could almost picture Gary Roberts drinking an I.C. Light and nodding his head in the press box.

The Pens PP looked even worse this time.
But they keep jobbin around.

Right as the penalty ends, 87 finds 71.
That was more insurance than State Farm.

He knows.

The rest of the third was Shutdown Township.
A few anxious moments -- but the Bruins melt down faster than Chernobyl and take two penalties.


  • Crusher: 2 G, 1A
  • Crosby: 3A
  • Ouellet: 2A
  • Aaron Ward's mom: One teabag.
  • Malkin: 1G
  • Fleury: 31 saves
  • Power play: Pens ( 1-5 ) -- Boston ( 0-3 )
  • Sole possession of First Place in the Atlantic Division.
  • Gotta love the Pens trying to run up the score at the end.
  • Ekman looked lost, but you never know when a guy like that has to step up in the playoffs.
  • Gary Roberts was missed.
  • Army got slugged in the eye. Guess high sticks are cool now.
  • The refs really wanted to get out of there tonight.
  • Furious work by the Pens when they had to get it done.
  • Boston sucks.

Hitler - Kevin Dobson
Chara -
saculekim13 ?


Joshua said...

The more I pay attention to it, I hope the penguins arena disigners dont make the arena a black hole like some of the other places out there.

Good Game, Great Recap

Boston Blows

thomes08 said...

this is surreal


Adrienne said...

Well, now I can abandon the Pensblog in confidence knowing we got the division, the conference, and eventually the league.

Pens for the Cup!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

what a gay blog.
love it.

Elly said...

The Boston announcer with the ill-timed 'whooo!' was great, but I some of the officiating was really questionable. Malkin really wasn't paying attention on that change up for the too many men call.What a way to wrap up the season. Go Pens.

Anonymous said...

hahahaha you guys are clutch

marc said...

i think the refs wanted to get out of there too... probably one of the quickest games all year

dan potash is money "colby's ok, we're all ok!!"

hopefully colby heals faster than gary, who still had a black eye like 2 weeks after that fight


Kim said...

How bout MAF last couple saves? Were they effing amazing or what? And bob just kept saying "I dont' know how he made that save?" It was definately a great game. That George penalty was crap, and has anyone else noticed that Gary Roberts eye brows point upwards like satin?

Great blog guys!

Anonymous said...

Ekman was non existent tonight

Hate to say it, it's like blasphemy, but Eaton turned in his worst performance of the season. He isn't physical at all and against a team that swarms the net like Boston, you have to be. Guess everyone has an off night....or two

Boston's PA announcer is the definition of a jobber

2nd in the East, damn does that feel good.


rachel said...

Great post as always guys!

but the Bruins melt down faster then Chernobyl and take two penalties.

I just thought of one of Malkin's audio diaries from WDVE, haha.

The "Do it." pic has to be the most disturbing thing...

2nd in the East!

Go Flyers?!? that sounds so wrong...

Andrew said...

staal was a nimus for the first time all year i think.


Anonymous said...

Go Pens - huge win!
In other NHL news, Heidelberg gets the win versus Toronto - long live the moose!

Anonymous said...

Where'd the rumor that Staal hasn't had a minus game this season come from? I've heard it a couple of times now... if you look up his stats, he's certainly a good +/- player but he's definitely had numerous minus games.

Louis Lipps is my homeboy said...

How bout instead of having to say "Go Flyers" just say "Don't go New Jersey!"

Anonymous said...

lol, the dave lewis photoshop was clutch. I'm surprised noone thought of that sooner. Good job, Kevin Dobson.

tiffany said...

About Staal never having a minus this season--thought I remembered hearing Steigy & Errey say it, as well as Don Cherry. Don't know about now, though.

Reading the post & seeing that gay porn pic..... You guys are outrageous, but we keep coming back. ;)

On a side note...Rachel, about Erik getting the nickname "Crusher," he explains it on (thought it was on Inside Penguins Hockey, but nope....I was wrong). Go to the site, click on 'Team,' his name, then under on Pens Profile-Erik Christensen. Towards the end, he talks about it. No real story behind it, just one day he moved to a small town in 8th grade & some of his friends started to call him that. When he got to Jr. high school, some people called him Christy & he hated it. So he said to call him Erik, Crush, or Crusher.

Go Pens!!!

Anonymous said...

By my count, Staal has had 13 minus games so far this season... many of them long before Don Cherry made that claim that he's never had a minus game. I love Staal and he's a great +/- player, I'm just confused as to why no one else seems to see this in the stats.

Anonymous said...

this isn't too promising.

pens remaining schedule;
at Toronto
at Ottawa
NY Rangers

at Philadelphia
NY Islanders

Anonymous said...

So who's standing next to Sid/Pedro?

And is it just me, or does the guy in the porno picture (on the right) look like Robert Downey Jr.?

Staff said...

i refuse to look at the pic again.


rachel said...

I'm also pretty sure it was Don Cherry who said Staal never had a minus game. I think Staal has only had 12 minus games. And they were all -1 except for one where he was a -2.

Tiff, thanks for that info on his nickname. I'd watch the video, but dial-up doesn't really agree with it ;)

I think it's Malkin standing next to Sid/Pedro because his face is the only part showing up for me.

₪ tiffany ₪ said...

Rachel, you're welcome. :) There's really no need to watch the video 'cause I pretty much summed up what you wanted to know anyway. Thank YOU, though, for giving a guess as to who Napoleon is. It was making me curious, along with anonymous.

Spencemo said...

No, I don't think that guy looks like Robert Downey Jr.

I loved American Gladiators! In fact, my youngest stepdaughter used to hang out with Skye's daughter when she first moved to Orlando.

D Fresh said...

American Gladiators... brings back memories. I always wanted to play Assault (that's what they called the one with the tennis ball guns, right?) almost as much as I wanted and still want to play Plinko... and be on Press Your Luck.

Also, I had a major crush on Lace... and the blonde chick from Hey Dude.

How're the playoff beards coming?

₪ tiffany ₪ said...

Hey Dude.....haha...oh geez. Used to watch that, Salute Your Shorts, Guts, Legends of the Hidden Temple, Ren & Stimpy, Beavis & Butthead & Are You Afraid of the Dark? many shows & I probably missed some. Remember people getting slimed?? ;)

dying alive said...

That Boston announcer yelling WOO! right after Christensen's goal was the saddest thing I've ever heard. What a loser. I LOL'ed.

Staal will get his 30th against Toronto on Saturday. He owns the Leafs. It was definitely Cherry who said that Staal has never had a minus game, because apparently he's got a huge NAMBLA-esque crush on him.


loralei said...

I couldnt go to the game last night cause I had class :(

Army is a warrior.. Shot in the knee, no problem. Stick in the eye, no problem. The Bruins broadcasters were whining about putting out the top power play at the end of Sundays game. They thought that was bush...bush league... Oh and they didnt think any of the penaltys called against Boston were actually penalties. I had to turn the sound off my tv. NESN blows. Bruins suck and I need to enjoy this moment until people start to get on my shit about the Pirates.

For the record, I've asked why their coach looks like Hitler and nobody has any idea.

Anonymous said...

That first period felt like a whole game in itself. I couldn't believe there were two more periods still to come.

- Soup

AndrewGurn said...

Jersey is a joke.

We're number one.

Suck it, Brodeur.

-- Andrew Gurn Weitzel, Esq.

Hooks Orpik said...

Highlights from the NESN announcers:

--Called #7 'Maxime Ouellet' and then 'Michael Ouellet' for the rest of the night.
--Complained about semi-marginal penalties to Ward and Chara. Strangely quiet about Colby getting gashed.
--Said several in the Boston organization thought it was 'bush league' for Thierren to put the big guns (Crosby, Malkin, Recchi, Whits and Gonchar) out with a PP with 20 seconds to go while leading 5-0.
--Then when the Pens had a 2 man advantage at the end of the game they wondered aloud why not play Recchi to try to break his goal drought.

dying alive said...

Crosby was trying for a hat trick and didn't have the scoring race locked up in the first game. Christensen was looking for a hat trick last night. Of course you put them on the ice. If that's bush league, tough shit. Lewis would have done the same thing if his team was ever actually winning at the end of a game. Maybe if Ward had any discipline at all, he doesn't bodyslam Crosby behind the net like he thinks he's participating in Wrestlemania instead of a professional hockey game and the Pens don't go on the powerplay in the first place.

I can't believe the Boston announcers had the nerve to call that penalty questionable. I rewound it a few times on the DVR and Ward *clearly* wrapped his arms around Sid and wrestled him to the ice. Somewhere, Jimmy SuperFly Snooka stood up and applauded that move.

Anonymous said...

Can we go back to calling christensen "JC", its way cooler than crusher and gets the heads turning at local pubs.

AndrewGurn said...

The only thing that is bush league is the way the Bruins have been playing. They look like an AHL team, despite having some quality players. Tim Thomas, Marco Sturm, Kessel, Bergeron.. all money in the bank, but I think Lewis forgot his ATM pin number. Either that or he is to busy slaughtering Jews to hold team practices.

--Andrew Gurn Weitzel, Esq.

Anonymous said...

adam, youre the man


Jason said...

eaton may have had a subpar game, but a bad game by eaton is still better then melichars best game. If theres a 2-1 going the other way I'd rather see eaton defending with no stick and only one skate on rather then joe.

Anonymous said...

Re: the "Do it" pic, where's the NIGHTMARE FUEL tag?

/Blatant ripoff of Deadspin commentary

Jeremy said...

I guess the Bahston announcers would have rather had the Pens have Ruutu and BGL out there to not be considered "bush league", knowing that they have to face the Pens again in a few days.

What a bunch of toolsheds.

Korn said...

Isn't it amazing how much this team has taken on Gary Roberts' persona? And how much he's obviously missed when he's not playing? Hurry back Gary...

Jon said...

Moog was garbage, but Reggie Lemelin had one of the top goalie names in NHL history. Just say it. Lemelin...Reggie Lemelin.
About the gay pic, did yinz actually have that saved up, or did u have to do a google image search for it. If that's the case, you've hit rock bottom boys.
This recap was top of the key as almost always. I'm gonna go out on a limb and say Sid's pretty much got the scoring title on lockdown. Werd.

Hooks Orpik said...

yeah, i agree the NESN announcers were terrible...They also openly laughed at Melichar when he got hurt (before seeing his chin smack off the dasher) and accused Maxime Ouellet of tripping Chara one the Crosby-to-Malkin goal, when clearly the ogre just tripped trying to make a hit behind the net and took himself out of the position.

but be glad the pens don't have to play the western conference more.

The Avalanche play on the 'Altitude' network (instead of like a FSN Pittsburgh or FSN Ohio or whatever).

Their announcers are the biggest homers I'd ever heard in my life. They'd make Staggy and Robert Errey look so impartial it'd make your head explode.

Tee said...

is it just me or is Colby finally finding his form from last year just in time for the PLAYOFFS... god I think back on last year when I'd watch the games and just hope that either Eric Cairns would get into a fight or Sid would score and that would be the highlight of the game... winning was out of the question... what a difference a year, a young russian stud, and a gronk makes huh?

~tiffany~ said...

Tee, totally agree that Colby's come a long way since last year. He was just put on the first line not too long ago, though. So maybe that has a lot to do with his recent success.

So far, after the first period...

Tampa Bay 0 Washington 1
Carolina 1 Florida 1

Philadelphia 0 Montreal 1
New Jersey 0 Ottawa 3

And so far, in the first period...

NY Islanders 1
Buffalo 2

~tiffany~ said... came out all retarded.

Tampa Bay 1
Carolina 1

Washington 1
Florida 1

Philadelphia 0
New Jersey 0

Montreal 1
Ottawa 3

EmDubs said...

Where has Seth been with the Eaton stats?

We are in Toronto for the game tomorrow. Its going to be awesome. I can hardly wait to be heckled by some Canucks.

Anonymous said...

1st INT
NY Islanders 1
Buffalo 5

9:46 2nd
Tampa Bay 1
Carolina 2

7:30 2nd
Washington 2
Florida 2

9:30 2nd
Montreal 1
Ottawa 3

8:25 2nd
Philadelphia 0
New Jersey 0

Anonymous said...

this is a little off-topic, but the san jose sharks must have a show similar to Inside Penguins Hockey called Shark Byte.

if you search for it on youtube a lot of clips come up. from what i can tell they have a lot of behind the scenes material with the team. also, a lot of clips titled "12 hours in shark territory" and a "how well do you know your teammate?" segment. all cool stuff to watch even tho i could care less about the sharks it's funny to watch.

just makes me wish the penguins would do more segments like that...

rachel said...

Anonymous, those are really nice segments. The Pens should definitely do something like that.

rachel said...

Philadelphia and Montreal lost...

Anonymous said...

new jersey wins, ottawa wins, buffalo wins, lecavalier picks up three points.

rachel said...

The Canes also have the random questions for the players on Ask the Canes...

So Philly and the Habs blow it today and I'm missing the game tomorrow.


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