Sunday, December 31, 2006

Hey, it's me -- Kansas City.
We offend Native Americans because it's fun.


The Kansas City Chiefs are in the NFL playoffs. They will play Indianapolis on Sunday at 1:00.

From now until Plan B is finalized, it's open-season on anything related to Kansas City.

Go Colts.

Saturday, December 30, 2006

"It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of the smart break-out pass, it was the age of the bad penalty, it was the epoch of belief in Isle of Capri, it was the epoch of incredulity when it didn't happen, it was the season of light, it was the season of darkness, it was the Autumn of hope with a winning streak, it was the winter of our despair with a losing streak, we had everything before us, we had nothing before us, we were all going direct to the top of the Atlantic, we were all going direct the other way--in short, each period was like every other period that some of its noisiest authorities insisted on its being received, for good or for evil, in the superlative degree of comparison only."
- Charles Dickens


Charles Dickens wrote this before hockey existed. That's how gold he was.

...................................................

It was a big year in 2006 for the Penguins. Other than Crosby's 100th point and the Kovalchuk incident, there's really not too much to dwell on in the early months of 2006.

It was a fun year for us here at The Pensblog, too.
As always, thank you for visiting the site. We wish we could personally thank everyone.

It's time for the Season-in-Review.

We will re-live some memories while also letting our game recaps and posts speak for us.
We always miss something, so please help us all out in the comments.

Links labeled 'video' take you to highlights.
All other links take you to game recaps and posts.

......................................

Five Worst Moments of the Season

5. The Second Period of the Montreal game. [ 12.16 ]
-- All season, the Pens have been highly competitive in every game. This one was the first time Pens fans really felt like "Well, maybe we aren't as good as we think."
Montreal went nuts, scoring 4 goals in the second period and dominating the Penguins in every aspect of the game.
No question that night we all felt like Tina Turner when Ike was around.

If you don't think Ike Turner played for the Habs that night, you're nuts.

4. The Ranger (as Michel Therrien calls them) win with seconds left in overtime. [ 11.25 ]
-- You're most likely thinking that this game wasn't that bad. Well, it was. Especially if the Pens lose out on a playoff berth by one point. To make matters worse, former Penguin Marty Straka ended the game by redirecting a pass from former Penguin Michal Roszival.


I knew it was you Marty. You broke my heart. You're dead to me.

3. Mark Eaton Gets Injured in a game at San Jose. [ 11.04 ]
-- A lot of people, Pensblog Staff included, know this was a huge blow to the Penguins. The Pens' defense was much improved, and we were red hot at the time; coming in 7-3-0.
But Jonathan Cheechoo nails Mark Eaton from behind. Eaton breaks his wrist, and the Pens defense goes into a free-fall.

2. Malkin is Injured in his First Preseason Game. [ 9.20 ]



I still remember sitting in front of my TV and just staring in disbelief. After all the waiting, this happens? Looking back, this was cleary John Leclair's fault. I have no idea where the Pens would be without Malkin this year, but having to think about it until we knew he was coming back was horrible.
Our Sum Of All Fears post captured the emotions of the moment (Derek's first post on The Pensblog).
--- VIDEO ---

1. Isle of Capri is Denied. [ 12.20 ]
-- I didn't realize this till just now, but this was 3 months to the day of Malkin's Injury.
Just an awful day, because this is something we had banked on for nearly a year.
It still hurts because the situation is still unresloved, but we can only hope and pray that it does get done. That day will be the only thing that can erase December 20, 2006.
.............................

Top 10 Moments of the Season

10. Penguins crush Flyers 8-2 in Philadelphia. [ 10.28 ]
-- It could definitely be higher than number 10, but this game was simply the Penguins beating up on a weak team. The fact that it was against the Flyers makes it that much more gratifying, though.

9. Evgeni Malkin scores in his first NHL game against New Jersey. [ 10.18 ]
-- Kind of sad that his first goal wasn't one of the normal variety.
For the rest of his career, Malkin has to remember his first NHL goal was cheap.

8. Nils Ekman hat trick against Tampa Bay. [ 11.08 ]-- The quickest three goals scored in Penguin history. After that game (and before it), Ekman hasn't made an impact other than being fast and not being able to finish. Koltzov, anyone?

7. Opening night. Fleury's shutout against Philadelphia. [ 10.05 ]
-- A highly-anticipated opening night was something that made us think we were dreaming. But the Flyers turned out to actually be that terrible.

6. Malkin goes on a six-game goal-scoring streak to start his NHL career.
-- The arrival of Malkin onto the scene made NHL statisticians delve into the history books.

5. Penguins shootout victory against Atlanta on December 9th.
-- A big match-up against one of the best teams in the Eastern Conference. The Pens played a consistent, hard-working game and were awarded when Colby Armstrong scored in overtime.

4. Penguins starting the season 7-3-0.
-- Not in our wildest dreams did we expect the Pens to start the season 7-3. Penguins fever was somewhat palpable in that first month of the season.

3. Sidney Crosby's 6-point night in a 8-4 win over the Flyers. [ 12.13 ]
-- Crosby goes nuts to attain first place in the points race.
--- VIDEO ---

2. Frantic comeback against Washington. [ 12.11 ]
-- This game quickly turned from one of the worst games of the season to one of the most memorable.


1. Evgeni Malkin injects hope into Pens fans everywhere with an electrifying goal in a victory against the Devils on October 24th. This win also propelled the Penguins to first place in the Atlantic Division.
The Pensblog's "We Are All Witnesses" post is one of my personal favorites that we've ever done.
--- VIDEO ---

................................

Five Biggest Goals of 2006-07
( Not the best; the biggest )

5. Crosby scores with 3.3 seconds left in a 6-5 win over the Rangers on October 12th.
-- In one of the best games of the season, Crosby denies the Rangers a point in the final seconds with a bank shot off a Ranger's defenseman. Madison Square Garden is stunned.
---- VIDEO ----

4. Gonchar scores overtime goal against Islanders to begin a five-game winning streak in October.
-- Malkin scored halfway through the third to tie it up. A big, overtime win like this really instilled some confidence in the players...and the fans, too.

3. In the final game of that winning streak, Malkin scores in overtime against Los Angeles.
-- In a game that I remember saying no one should have won, the Pens were given a gift power play in OT. A rebound lands on Malkin's stick and he buries it into an empty net.

2. Armstrong scores in overtime to beat Atlanta.
-- The Pens have had four or five "must-win games" already this season. This was one of them.

1. Malkin scores in the waning minutes to beat Philadelphia.
-- The game tied at 2, late in the third. Malkin rises to the occasion with a wicked one-timer from the circle. Worthy of number one on your list?

.......................

Top 5 Jobber Goals
( Goals by jobbers )

5. Jarrko Ruutu scores on opening night
-- The Mellon Arena crowd falling in love with Jarrko Ruutu.

4. Chris Thorburn enjoys ice-time with Malkin and Crosby, scoring a goal against Anaheim.
-- Easily one of the best jobbers the Pens have had in recent years. He found himself on Malkin and Crosby's line after a penalty and took advantage of it.


3. Alain Nasreddine scores in Montreal.
-- Using common sense at the end of a period, Nasreddine snuck in from the point and one-timed a Crosby pass into the net with 0.3 remaining.

2. Both of John LeClair's goals.
-- Yes, all two of them

1. Joe Melichar on opening night.
-- Future Norris Trophy winner Joey Melichar puts a puck in on a pretty decent shot.

.............................

Four Worst Games of the Season
( Devils games don't count )

4. Detroit bores the hell out of Mellon Arena. [ 10.07 ]
-- This was easily one of the least entertaining games of the season. Pens managed 13 shots.

3. Ottawa shows up. Pens don't. [ 11.10 ]
-- A big Friday night brought the fans out to the Arena, only to watch Ottawa have their way with our Pens.

2. Armstrong's hit on Trevor Letowski sparks Carolina in another Saturday night loss for the Pens. [ 10.14 ]

-- A freaky game that we all hope is lost forever when talking about the 2006-07 season. Kris Letang scored a freaky goal for the Pens while Carolina poured it on.

1. The Blues suck. [ 12.19 ]
-- A simply frustrating game to watch. No comment.

..............................

Four Best Games of the Season

4. Penguins push Anaheim to the brink. [ 11.06 ]
-- Against one of the top-tier teams of the NHL, the Penguins held their ground and made Anaheim work hard for a victory on their home ice.

3. Penguins crush Flyers. [ 10.28 ]
-- One of our best games and one of our best moments of the season. Seriously, it felt that good.


2. Penguins earn a hard-fought victory over Atlanta. [ 12.09 ]
-- Nothing much to say that our game recap didn't say for us. It still resonates as a huge win.
--- VIDEO ---

1. Penguins come from behind to beat Washington. [ 12.11 ]
-- For the rest of the season, we can always fall back on this game when we're down 4-0 halfway through the second period.
To be able to come back like that shows this team doesn't give up.
--- VIDEO ---

P.S. -- What does it mean when you realize that these four games were all road games?

.............................

Five Things To Look Forward To
( In no particular order, except for number one )

5. The Playoff Push.
--The Pens, for the first time in a long time, have a chance to at least be in a position to make the playoffs.

4. The Trade Deadline.
-- Everyone loves talking about trades.
If the Pens can smell the playoffs, will Shero have the brass of a riverboat gambler?



3. The Malkin Man.
-- Can Geno Malkin step up his game to that next level that everyone knows he can? He has been inconsitent at times, but his flashes of brilliance far outweigh any of that. It should be fun watching Malkin in '07.

2. The Crosby Show.
-- If '06 was a flash of what is to come, we are going to be in for a spectactular '07. Can Sid lead the NHL in points the rest of the season? Can he lead the Pens to the playoffs? If he does both, then you can send the Hart Memorial Trophy to where you've sent it many times before: Mario Lemieux's house.


Can Bing continue going nuts?

1. The New Deal.

The Pens' Arena Deal will garner all the attention, and well, it should. Because the let's face it... if the Pens leave, we're all leaving, too.

Starting on Jan 1, 2007, the clock is ticking.

Friday, December 29, 2006


Derek went to the game tonight, and we'll be getting some pictures he took.

Also, Steph from No Pun Intended has the recap from a Toronto fan's point-of-view.

...........................

There was definitely a fever pitch in the air tonight. Staggy and Errey alluded to it at the top of the broadcast, and for good reason.

The puck was dropped, and you have to admit you were a little nervous. Nervous might not be the right word. Nervous is reserved for playoff time. But this felt like a playoff game.

What all happened in the first? Nothing much except Ekman going all Mark-Eaton on us.
Fleury was making some big saves, and so was J.S. Aubin.

With time ticking down at the end of the first, our boy (TM) Erik Christensen snapped a shot past Aubin on the powerplay to give the Pens a 1-0 lead.

The second period was the best period of hockey in a while. End-to-end action.
Halfway through the second period, Malkin was robbed on a nice save by Aubin...
Before you knew it, Toronto was flying back the other way on an odd-man rush.
A delicious rebound landed on Sundin's stick, and his Mellon Arena goal-count is now 145.
Thankfully, that would be it for the Maple Leaves (Leafs?).

A.) How did these guys get Igloo Seats?
B.) That lady looks pissed.

Early in the third period, the Pens took advantage of a 5-on-3 powerplay when Gonchar rocketed a shot towards the net that hit Aubin's stick and went in. That was huge.

But I long for the days when we don't have to immediately think of how devastating it's going to be when the other team ties it up.
Would Toronto crap on our hopes?
Nope.

Six minutes after Gonchar's goal, the Pens were on another power play. Gonchar had the puck at the point and did a shot-pass to Malkin who redirected it in. 3-1. 13:00 remaining.

For the rest of the game, Toronto wasn't really able to sustain any pressure or scoring opportunities.

Edit: Anyone who watched the game on FSN tonight recognizes this lady:

In a weird twist, I have learned that she is in relation with a kid I knew in high school.
I just want to know why she was predominantly featured after the goals.

With seven minutes left in the game, Jordan Staal forechecked his way into another goal. Just a nice jobber play that put the final nail in the coffin.

The rest of the game consisted of Bob Errey and Steigerwald arguing over Jack Johnson and Eric Johnson...
and making the 22nd and final Murphy Dump reference of 2006.

This is obviously what they were talking about.

Stats
  • Crosby: 3 A
  • Malkin: 1 G, 1 A
  • Gonchar: 1 G, 1 A
  • Fleury: 30 saves
  • Shots: TOR ( 31 ) PENS ( 30 )
  • Powerplay: TOR ( 0 for 6 ) PENS ( 3 for 10 )
Miscellaneous
  • Was Ekman's injury a result of bad karma stemming from the Def Leppard joke?
  • Early reports on Ekman indicated an elbow injury.
  • Derek told me that during the Ruutu fight in the second, a Maple Leaf fan was getting beaten up/something in the stands near the penalty box.
  • Gonchar has been playing out of his mind recently. What a play keeping that puck in the zone with his glove.
  • As long as the Pens realize that this is how they have to play every night in order to get into the playoffs, then we're in good shape.
  • Is it just me, or have their been some weird offside calls this year?
  • Malkin falls again.
  • We didn't even notice Melichar tonight. That's a good sign.
..............................................
BIG WEEK COMING UP.

This weekend, we are bringing you the 2006 calendar year in review...
as well as the 2006-07 Penguins review.

We will also be in the Student Rush line for Tuesday's game against Carolina...with a camcorder.
We are in the process of making a little Pens fan-video for the site.
If you see us, please approach us, and we'll definitely get you in the video.

Speaking of videos......We have 90% certainty that the 1991 and 1992 playoff goals MPEG will be in our hands by Wednesday, January 3rd.
In a perfect world, the video will be available on Google Video before Friday.

Warning: The gayness emanating from this post may make your computer crash.

It was one of the more boring news days of the Pensblog era, until this broke.

Huge sitdown next Thursday between Lemieux, Rendell, Onorato, and 18 year-old Mayor Luke Ravenstahl.

Get it done, fellas.

I love the headline of the Post-Gazette:

"Lemieux agrees to meeting with Rendell"

Two letters were written; one by Mario, and one by the three amigos.

"It is essential for the future of this franchise that we negotiate an arena deal that makes economic sense for the long term." -- Mario Lemieux

"We believe the time has come for those [arena financing] discussions to begin and to proceed in an expeditious manner, as we would like to complete negotiations on a financial plan by no later than March 31, 2007." -- Larry, Curly, and Ho-moe

My only question is... who writes letters anymore? I thought the whole letter-writing went out the window in the 1800's.

Picture: A mail carrier delivers Mario Lemieux's letter to City Hall.
.................................................

But other than that, it's been a jobber day, and that makes a semi-Kelly Clarkson-themed recap a piece of cake.
.................................

--First things first, though. We have a beef with FSN Pittsburgh.
We have got to do something about the camera angles.
We're not telling anyone how to do their jobs because we are more than content to be able to catch every Pens game on TV.
But....
We have been quiet about this for long enough.

Too many times this year, we have missed scoring chances when the puck is in the corner and the camera switches to a close-up. And here's the thing. As Penguins fans, we firmly believe if we see a scoring chance that we can will the puck into the net. I felt robbed when we didn't get a chance to see Thorburn's one-timer from Staal in Wednesday's game. If we see that scoring chance, the puck goes in.

Here is what we mean:


I don't need a close up of this when someone is about to accept the pass in front of the net.
Keep it simple, FSN.
Don't make us call up Abe Zapruder from Wilkes-Barre.

Clutch camerawork.

.......................................


--- Here's a little column from Dave Molinari at the Post-Gazette...
Only big thing in there is the news that Eaton is aiming to be back in the lineup by early February.

--- The Senators' Mike Fisher suffered a partially torn MCL. Man, I really wish we hadn't used up our Dany Heatley allowance for the month of December.

--- The Pensblog commenters, including us, are starting to curiously look at the enigma that is Evgeni Malkin.
He falls at least once a game for no reason at all. He goes on scoring tears and then proceeds to falter.
Nevertheless, if you are somehow disappointed in Malkin's performance this year, then wow.

Behind These Hazel Eyes is a young man still adjusting to life in the NHL.

---- Rory Fitzpatrick falling in the Western Conference voting.

.............................
Gaymes

Flyers squeak past the Lightning 4-3. They were up 3-1 late in the second when Sami Kapanen grabbed the puck and scored the eventual game-winning goal on a...

Bre-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-k Awa-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-y

In the battle between the two teams that play 8 games a week, the Sabres were looking for attention, not another question. The Canes had to walk away with a 4-1 defeat.

OK, that's enough Kelly Clarkson references...
This isn't homoblog.

The Red Wings smoked the Blue Jackets 7-4....
The nets in this game were used more than Kristin Cavalleri at a party in Hollywood on any given night.

" How To Be a 'D' celebrity and Be Happy About It "
A new book by Kristin Cavalleri...slut


This post goes down in the anals, I mean annals, of gay blog posts.

Kings over the Oilers 7-4...
If you want a recap of that game, mouse over to No Pun Intended.

One late game: Sharks and Coyotes tied at 2.
...........................................

Huge game for the Pens tomorrow, and what a atmosphere it will be with the crazy Maple Leaf fans in town.
If you're going to the game, look for me (Derek). I'll be running around, taking pictures with Leafs fans.

Wednesday, December 27, 2006


FIRST OFF, WE GOT A TOILET-LOAD OF HITS FROM RANDOM PEOPLE SEARCHING THE TRIVIA QUESTION FROM TONIGHT'S GAME ON FSN.
WELCOME TO THE PENSBLOG.
IF YOU DON'T HAVE ANY FRIENDS, THIS IS THE SITE FOR YOU.

.............................................................

Compared to last night's game in New Jersey, this game against Atlanta was like playing with your friends at the local dek-hockey rink.

For some reason this season, these strings of losses aren't really worrying me too much. I think it's because we all know how good this Penguin team is.
All I know is the Pens have to go on a mini-tear pretty soon. 19 points in their next 12 games...or something to that effect.

The Pens came out flying tonight. All they had to show for it was like one shot through the first ten minutes.
In the first period, we were more shorthanded than the drummer from Def Leppard.

He has one arm.

Joltin' Joe Melichar is hoping to break Joe DiMaggio's record of 56 consecutive games with a stupid play/penalty.
Bob Hartley couldn't figure out why his powerplay was lackluster in the first period.

Atlanta coach Bob Hartley should be more worried about those two cavities.

The Pens successfully killed off every penalty in the first period.
With the Pennies on the power play late in the first, Erik Christensen plinko-ed a goal past Kari "The Boss" Lehtonen to give the Pens a 1-0 lead going into the intermission.

The second period started and things were more perfect than Curt Hennig.

The Pens could use an Intercontinental belt about now.

Eight minutes into the second, however, Vitaly Vishnevski scored to tie the game up at 1.
Eight minutes after that, Niclas Havelid scored with his peepee to make it 2-1.
That 2-1 lead stayed intact for Atlanta until Ryan Whitney rose to the occasion in the third.

57 seconds into the third period, Malkin fed a pass to Whitney, who then buried a powerplay goal to tie the game up. This game still didn't feel right.

In a perfect world: Kelly Clarkson marries me, gives birth to our three sons, and sings the national anthem at every Pens game.

Roughly six minutes after that Whitney goal, the Thrashers' Slava Kozlov scored a nice goal to make it 3-2. That was all Atlanta would need.

Despite some valiant efforts by the Pens late, they just couldn't tie the game up.
Bobby Holik finished the Pens off with an empty-net goal.

Stats
  • Sidney Crosby: Played tonight
  • Malkin: 1 assist
  • Ryan Whitney: 1 G, 1 A
  • Shots: ATL (31) PENS (37)
  • Pooperplay: Both teams - 2 for 6
Miscellaneous
  • Nice to see The Moose back in Mellon Arena. Still one of my all-time favorite Pens.
  • Not nice to see Michel Ouellet. Still an inconsistent hockey player.
  • Nice to see Christensen gaining the testicular fortitude to shoot the puck more.
  • Gonchar with some stellar defensive plays tonight.
  • Fleury played well enough to get a win.
  • I'm guessing anyone watching the game on FSN heard the angst in Bob Errey's voice in that third period. Maybe we're fortunate to have a color commentator that is extremely devoted to our team.
  • A lot of no-calls tonight. Nothing we can do about it except complain on our internet website.
  • By my personal standards, this is another sub-par recap. That's because I'm still finishing off some Christmas brew. Considering the recent woes of the Pens...if you aren't feeling the need for a little assistance through these hard times, good for you. You're stronger than most.
  • What we have in store for you in the next week or so will make my holiday alcoholism and my random Kelly Clarkson fantasies of no consequence.

Huge night in the NHL.
And let's just say the Christmas spirit is long forgotten.

But before we go around the NHL, there's some other stuff worth mentioning.

..................

Today is December 27. If you need help in remembering the significance of that date...then, wow.

The World Junior Championships started Tuesday.
Canada beat Sweden 2-0.
USA lost to Germany in a clear revenge game from World War II.


America is mud when it comes to hockey.

Word has it that the Pens' Kris Letang looked good. There are a few other players from the Pens playing over there, too.

You can watch the games by clicking the link in the top right corner on TSN.ca.

....................

John Buccigross got attacked via the internet by some Canadian jerk-offs in response to his Penguins column last week.
Look...you can't have the Penguins, Canada.
You couldn't even support the Nordiques...or the Jets.

If you have time, read the "Ed from Vancouver" e-mail.
Let's hope Ed finds his way into Dany Heatley's neighborhood tonight.


........................................

Is anyone tired of the Mark Messier commercials yet?
I like how he says that he is giving us a Cold-FX all-star update...but it lacks anything resembling an update.

If I got to go the All-Star Game, the last person I would want to hang out with would be Mark Messier.


Funny on so many levels. Just enjoy the moment.
.........................................

Huge night around the league:

Isles shutout the Rangers
...2-0...Ricky DeePee is money in the bank.

The Sabres smoke the Caps....AO got crushed at the end of this game. The Sabres exploded with 6 goals in the first period. Ovechkin scored a goal in the third to make it 6-2, or 6-3...and proceeded to put his hand to his ear Hulk-Hogan-style, taunting the Sabres fans.

Chicago is red hot...

So are the Canes...

Atlanta played tonight and won...
Tampa Bay is as consistent as Michel Therrien's line combinations.

If the Caps played the Lightning tonight, this would have been perfect.

Columbus and the Bruins played one of the best games on Versus in a while..Blue Jackets win in OT

Toronto wins
.... Minnesota cannot win on the road.

Nashville wins in OT...I guess the Blues lay down for everyone but the Pens.


Some Late games:

Canucks over the Flames...
The aforementioned "Ed from Vancouver" is probably loving it.

Phoenix beating the Kings early in the second

Ducks with a lead over the Sharks midway though the second

....................................
NOTHING TO DO WITH HOCKEY, BUT WORTH YOUR WHILE.

The godfather of soul passed away on Monday. Great entertainer, great singer.

Great person to interview when he is smashed:

...............................................
We have no idea in the world why we haven't passed this link onto everyone yet:

PeekVid.com

TV shows, Movies, the works.
Totally Free.

Adam varies his time between Pensblog and catching up on seasons 1 and 2 of House, M.D.

Tuesday, December 26, 2006

No NHL.com Game Recap because there's nothing really to look at.

Because this was the most boring game of The Pensblog Era, we're gonna have a general NHL recap later tonight, too.

The first period of the game tonight looked like a game of pong.
But, of course, it was Devils Pong (TM):

Imagine the impossibility of scoring a goal in a pong game like this.
Welcome to the Atlantic Division.


The puck just went back and forth, back and forth. I'm tired of using the word "boring" to describe Devils hockey. Before you knew it, the first period was over with absolutely nothing to talk about.

As expected, the second period was the same as the first period.
Paul Steigerwald mentioned that this game could easily be compared to an NBA game, which is true.
The only difference was that none of the players on the ice were high.

Right after Steigerwald finished that thought, Pat Sajak of Wheel of Fortune fame scored for New Jersey to basically end the game.

I'd like to buy a vowel.

Besides Crosby mucking it up and the Pens' power play needing Viagra, there is absolutely nothing else to discuss in regards to the first two periods.

What a surprise...nothing happened in the third period.
The Pens were a tip-in away from tying this game up, but it just wasn't happening.

We're playing the Devils, so you only need one guess as to who scored the second Devils' goal in the third period.........Jay Pandolfo.

To make it look like the Devils "blew us out", Brian Gionta scored a little bit later to make it 3-0.

Devils Suck.

And with 2.3 seconds left...finally something to cheer about.
We always mention the word "jobber" and the verb '"to job".
Jordan Staal helped us define "jobber" with his trip of Martin Brodeur late in the game.
He pretended to do it nonchalantly, but it was golden.
That, my friends, was a job.

Stats
  • Me: 2 ham sandwiches
  • Martin Brodeur: 780th career shutout
Miscellaneous
  • I'm glad I'm not a Devils fan.
  • One of the Penguins may have farted in the third period, but that is not confirmed.
  • We waited 4 days for this?
  • Seriously...there is nothing else to talk about. Other than the usual and merited hate-comments, there's no reason to expect any of our illustrious readers commenting on this game.

Monday, December 25, 2006

I know that a ton of our readers won't even bother looking at this post when they return to their computers after break. If you do, you are very loyal.

It's pathetic, but not posting or even visiting the site for over a day made me yearn for The Pensblog. It's becoming part of me. It's either help run this site or get a girlfriend and have to play all kinds of stupid relationship games. Pass.

It's been a nice Christmas day, and I've been drinking.

......................................
NHL News

After making out with my computer because I didn't see it for over a day, I started checking out some links that we've missed.

Post-Gazette has a little miscellaneous article about some things.

----- For the entire All-Star weekend in Dallas, the NHL is going to position the goal judges above the nets, rather than behind them. The article mentioned an Edmonton scenario where the judges were placed directly above the nets, but the article insinuates that the judges will be in the press box.
They're messing with some fine tradition. Maybe they should just let Jesus be the goal judge.

Picture: Jesus points to center ice, signifying a goal.

----- Scoring is down so far this season, and everyone is throwing suggestions around. Bigger nets, making the goalie play without a stick, or the goalie using a regular stick as opposed to a goalie stick. Okay.

----- Another part of the article discussed the possible realignment ideas being thrown around by the NHL. As long as our Pens aren't in a Midwest Division next year, I could care less.

.....................................

--- Toronto's Michael Peca will be out three months with a fractured tibia.

--- I wasted the muscles in my hands to link you to this Bob McKenzie article about Plan B.


If you thought this post was a waste of time, you are not alone.
......................................

The games that matter on Tuesday will be:

Pens @ New Jersey - 7:30
Rangers @ Islanders - 7:30

Sunday, December 24, 2006

Merry Christmas everyone!

Pensblog Staff will be back on Christmas day, unless we have too much Christmas goodies.

Everyone be safe, and enjoy it.

Sincerely,

The Pensblog Staff

Saturday, December 23, 2006

Jingle Pucks

Well, since the last 72 hours have completely blinded us from anything going on elsewhere in the NHL, we figured it was time to move to some other news around the league, if only for therapy.

...............

We missed the story of Rory Fitzpatrick, and shame on us for 6 weeks.

Apparently a fan website named www.VoteForRory.com, started writing in votes for Vancouver defense man Rory Fitzpatrick. And now Fitzpatrick is second in voted for d-men in the western conference. Unreal stuff.

Here is one of the commercials from the Vote For Rory Campaign:



We should have did this for Joe Melichar.
We are making our prediction, though. Fitzpatrick will be "injured" come time for the All-Star game.

...............

The NHL talking about changing divisions up.

This would be the worst idea since Macaulay Culkin decided to grow up.


Was anyone bigger in the early 90's then Macaulay Culkin? Now he is eating dog food.


"The new divisions in the East: one would feature Montreal, Ottawa, Toronto, Buffalo, Boston, Pittsburgh and Western Conference alumni Columbus. The other division would include the New York Rangers, New York Islanders, New Jersey, Philadelphia, Washington, Tampa Bay, Florida and Carolina. The Caps rejoining their old Patrick Division rivals was a popular sentiment at Wednesday's meeting"

OK look, I don't remember a whole lot about the Patrick Division, being that I was like 8. But the Caps had bigger rivalries with the Flyers, Devils, Rangers, and Isles then the Penguins do? I am serious, someone explain, I have no idea.
......................
Scott Nichol from Nashville got suspended for 9 games for his sucker punch on Jaroslav Spacek of the Sabres.

I couldn't find any video of it that I could get the link to. But watching it. I would have done the same thing Nichol did, and then I would of slammed Lindy Ruff 's head off the boards out of principal. Mind you this all changes if Nichol did this to a Penguin.

I guess Micheal Winbon from PTI wasn't happy, saying if this happened in the NBA people would be flipping out.

Mike, were fine on this one. No seriously we heard Lebron James took a dump, so you should go cover that, or something...dick
.....................

A brief look around some scores:

New Jersey over the Caps..4-1
Carolina takes a dump on the Isles
Columbus is red hot.. they beat the Canucks 3-2...Anson Carter with a goal against his former team.
Detroit wins 3-1 over the Wild
and last but not least.. the Blackhawks win over the Maple Leafs Peter Bondra scored his 500th career goal( I feel like 250 where against the pens)


Good night all and Keep your head up.

Friday, December 22, 2006

Okay, Pens fans. We have come up with four initiatives here that Ravenstahl and company will not be able to ignore.

But, first, we have to discuss our other options to fund an arena if our four plans do not pass.

1. Win the PowerBall.


You would be a god in this town if you won a $195 million jackpot in the PowerBall and gave the money to build the new arena.
Every Pens fan in the world buys ten PowerBall tickets in every possible PowerBall drawing. Odds are that sooner or later, one of us could hit. But probably not.

2. The "Shoeless Joe Jackson" Initiative

This would be tough for us to execute because we hate to see our Pens lose.
However, our plan is to contact the Pens and have them throw the rest of their season; losing every game while keeping an eye on the spread and the over/under for every game.
Pens fans everywhere bet against the Pens for the rest of the season.
$290 million dollars.
New Arena.

...................................................................................

We present to you our arena-funding initiatives: Plans C, D, E, and F.

VOTE at the end of the post.

( For all plans, the NHL will have the Pens play all 82 games on the road in the 2007-08 season. )

PLAN "C"
The funding for this plan will center around the American public's fascination with James Taylor. He is very rich. We contact him and spill our hearts to him about the Pens.
He puts a down payment on a new arena and sings the national anthems at every Penguin game.
The rest of the money would come from deals with the brand-new Wal-Mart, KFC, and Sheetz built on Crawford Street.
Wal-Mart is loaded.
.............................................................

PLAN "D"
An 18,000-seat facility built in the Lower Hill.
Tampax was originally slated to get the naming rights to the Steelers new football stadium, but complications arose when discussion began on what would happen when the Steelers got inside the 20-yard line.
Also, there are on-going talks with LifeTime to show movies during the intermissions between periods.
Funding for this arena would be provided by The Mall at Robinson.
This plan would also include a Jake Wheatley Memorial Statue to be built beside the new Penguins practice facility.
.......................................

PLAN "E"
A 17,000-seat arena built and designed in homage to one of Pittsburgh's most controversial personalities.
The arena would be funded by drug dealers in nearby neighborhoods. Dealers must come up with $200 million cash up-front.
It would also be funded by holding back John Fedko's salary every other year for the next 20 years.
This initiative also calls for a total re-vamping of the Hill District. Houses would be torn down and replaced with 3,000 Dek-Hockey rinks.
A Jake Wheatley Memorial Urinal is in the plan as well.
..................................

PLAN "F"
We saved the best for last.
Our goal here is for every Pens fan to not use Comcast Cable.
The moronic Steelers Comcast commercials would stop due to lack of revenue.
Comcast realizes the Steelers are essentially to blame for their drop in earnings.
They bring Heinz Field to the ground.
The Steelers move into PNC Park and can only play 4 home games per year.
A brand new, state-of-the-art replica of Mellon Arena is built in the ashes of Heinz Field.
Jerome Bettis Memorial Port-A-Johns are one of the things we could lose if the negotiations get intense.

.....................................

Ravenstahl, the puck is in your zone.

Pensblog, out.

.......................................











Which plan is the best?
Plan C

Plan D

Plan E

Plan F

Current results

Thursday, December 21, 2006


For the briefest of moments, no one was thinking about the slots license, Isle of Capri, Kansas City, or the fact that the new NBC show 'Identity' sucks.

I'll be honest. I was apathetic during most of this game tonight. The slowness of my mind and soul the last few days can only be categorized with the word 'depression'.

1:36 (Damn you, Bettis) into the game, Niko Kapanen scores on a rebound to allow the Thrashers goal-horn man to touch himself while he blared the horn. Who the hell names their kid Niko? Name him 'Nike' and make millions in endorsements.
I'm naming my kid "GoogleWikiPediaebay.son".

That was it for the first period, other than a great penalty kill where Ryan Malone and Dominic Moore were selflessly throwing their bodies around.

The second period was the longest period of my life. Just sitting here and watching this semi-boring game invited the thoughts of the past few days to enter your head.

Just as I was about to sacrifice my pet chicken Marty to the hockey gods, Ilya Kovalchuk scored to make it 2-0. That goal didn't affect me at all. I didn't shift in my seat, I didn't look at the ground. I just sat there. I shouldn't even be writing this recap right now. Sick.

With less than four minutes left in the second, Jordan Staal stole the puck and scored a shorthanded goal. I didn't move an inch.
When Atlanta scored another goal before the end of the second period to make it 3-1, I couldn't even bear to watch the end of the second. I'm sorry. I had to get away.

I walked around the neighborhood (Oakland) to do some soul searching.

Picture: The same reaction my father had when I told him I was not a homosexual.

Using my internal between-periods clock, I got back to my house and was ready for the third period.
Killing my chicken worked. Ryan Malone jobbed in a goal to make it 3-2. 16 minutes remaining. It was the first time I was alert.
The Pens had an excellent shift with Malkin and Crosby flying around for the better part of a minute. That's what got me fired up.
With penalties being called back and forth in the final minutes, apathy was setting in again.

With a minute left, the Pens pull Thibault in their last-ditch effort to tie this game up. The Thrashers clear the puck and Recchi carried the puck through the neutral zone on the always inspiring "final rush". I shifted to the end of the couch.

Malkin swoops in, drags the puck along. It hits something and goes wide. Someone chips it over towards the goal crease and right to the stick of Bing. He bangs it in with 15 seconds left to tie it up. When that net moved, nothing else mattered. The feeling only lasted a few seconds, but that was the best thing to happen to the beleaguered Pens fans in the past 48 hours.

" asdfmg;lkfdner.hjerygh934.uw5604j ;g89riudndgoa/sko F;WEIOHJ "

-- Actual IM sent by me to commenter " Will from Butler " when Crosby scored

The best scoring chance of the overtime belonged to the Pens when Crosby was working the boards like a member of LetsGoPens.com. He sent it out in front, but it just wasn't meant to be.

In the shootout, Slava Kozlov made Thibault look like platypus urine and Marian Hossa came in later to score and ice the game, no pun intended.
Christensen and Crosby both failed in their attempts to register a goal in the shootout.

Stats
  • Crosby: 1 G, 1 A
  • Staal: Another shorthanded goal
  • Atlanta: Sucks
  • Powerplays: ATL ( 2 FOR 7 ) PENS ( O FOR 7 )
  • Shots: ATL ( 32 ) PENS ( 39 )
  • Add another shot to Atlanta's total if you want to count the cheap one that Holik delivered on Moore.
Miscellaneous
  • Nice segment about the Pens and Christmas. Danny Po comes through.
  • Dan Snyder reference in the game tonight. No comment. We can't afford the bad Karma
  • Malkin's shot off the post was the hardest post shot I have ever seen.
  • Crosby is sick.
  • Again...3 goals given up...can't ask much more of your backup goalie.
  • Anyone else notice Therrien look up the names of the officials on the piece of paper in his pocket?
  • Mark Recchi takes some dumb penalties.
  • Right-handed defenseman buries that opportunity Whitney had late in the third.
  • Deepest apologies for this sub-par recap. It's not the usual stuff. It is a reflection of my mind and soul right now. I swear on my hopes of the Penguins staying in town that I'll be good to go in a few days.
HAVE A FRIGGIN SWEET CHRISTMAS, EVERYONE.
OUR PENSBLOG CHRISTMAS PRESENT IS NOT READY YET. OUR APOLOGIES.
...............................................

We're working on Plans C through F right now, too.
Post later tonight.

If you didn't catch our Isle of Capri recap, it's the next post down.



"...Drove up to Mellon Arena sometime after 2am to talk a little while about the year."


..."And it's been a long December, and there's reason to believe..."


As a Penguin nation is still reeling, all we can do is hope. Everyone is tired of it already. But get ready, folks. The worst is yet to come.

Lets go around the links that you have most likely read in disbelief aready:

6 man race for the Pens.. according the Trib thanks to commenter CDY for the heads up.

More Stomach Punch, Relocation talk....
Commentor Gaundi helps us with this though:

"If the Pens leave, Pittsburgh will lose so much money and community support that the population decrease could skyrocket within the next year or two. A loss as massive as this could drive the city into the deepest hole it has ever been in. One that it may never clime from. The city could lose everything that a city needs (money and people) yet it could gain the same by builing an arena (for the penguins and a lot more)."

Shelley Anderson tells us Mario is stunned....

There's a part of that article that makes you throw up:

"Let's just say it's beginning to look a lot like Christmas," Brenda Tinnen, general manager of Kansas City's new Sprint Center, told the Kansas City Star.


Hey it's me -- Kansas City. Our baseball team sucks, and our football team is 9-7.
I have taken better dumps than Kansas City...
It's beginning to look like your city is gay.
Lamar Hunt got out of there when he could.

...........................................

Well that's enough of that crap. There is a huge game tonight.

Geno Malkin talks about some rookie hiccups

After the game tonight, the Pens get their biggest lay-off since late October. We don't play again until Tuesday at New Jersey.

....................................

" Well, then. I guess there is only one thing left to do... "


" ... Win the f$@kin' thing. "

Keep your chin up today and punch anyone who even hints at taunting you today.

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