KANSAS CITY SUCKS

Hey, it's me -- Kansas City.
We offend Native Americans because it's fun.

The Kansas City Chiefs are in the NFL playoffs. They will play Indianapolis on Sunday at 1:00.

From now until Plan B is finalized, it's open-season on anything related to Kansas City.

Go Colts.

The Year of the Penguin

"It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of the smart break-out pass, it was the age of the bad penalty, it was the epoch of belief in Isle of Capri, it was the epoch of incredulity when it didn't happen, it was the season of light, it was the season of darkness, it was the Autumn of hope with a winning streak, it was the winter of our despair with a losing streak, we had everything before us, we had nothing before us, we were all going direct to the top of the Atlantic, we were all going direct the other way--in short, each period was like every other period that some of its noisiest authorities insisted on its being received, for good or for evil, in the superlative degree of comparison only."
- Charles Dickens

Charles Dickens wrote this before hockey existed. That's how gold he was.

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It was a big year in 2006 for the Penguins. Other than Crosby's 100th point and the Kovalchuk incident, there's really not too much to dwell on in the early months of 2006.

It was a fun year for us here at The Pensblog, too.
As always, thank you for visiting the site. We wish we could personally thank everyone.

It's time for the Season-in-Review.

We will re-live some memories while also letting our game recaps and posts speak for us.
We always miss something, so please help us all out in the comments.

Links labeled 'video' take you to highlights.
All other links take you to game recaps and posts.

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Five Worst Moments of the Season

5. The Second Period of the Montreal game. [ 12.16 ]
-- All season, the Pens have been highly competitive in every game. This one was the first time Pens fans really felt like "Well, maybe we aren't as good as we think."
Montreal went nuts, scoring 4 goals in the second period and dominating the Penguins in every aspect of the game.
No question that night we all felt like Tina Turner when Ike was around.

If you don't think Ike Turner played for the Habs that night, you're nuts.

4. The Ranger (as Michel Therrien calls them) win with seconds left in overtime. [ 11.25 ]
-- You're most likely thinking that this game wasn't that bad. Well, it was. Especially if the Pens lose out on a playoff berth by one point. To make matters worse, former Penguin Marty Straka ended the game by redirecting a pass from former Penguin Michal Roszival.

I knew it was you Marty. You broke my heart. You're dead to me.

3. Mark Eaton Gets Injured in a game at San Jose. [ 11.04 ]

-- A lot of people, Pensblog Staff included, know this was a huge blow to the Penguins. The Pens' defense was much improved, and we were red hot at the time; coming in 7-3-0.
But Jonathan Cheechoo nails Mark Eaton from behind. Eaton breaks his wrist, and the Pens defense goes into a free-fall.

2. Malkin is Injured in his First Preseason Game. [ 9.20 ]

I still remember sitting in front of my TV and just staring in disbelief. After all the waiting, this happens? Looking back, this was cleary John Leclair's fault. I have no idea where the Pens would be without Malkin this year, but having to think about it until we knew he was coming back was horrible.
Our Sum Of All Fears post captured the emotions of the moment (Derek's first post on The Pensblog).
--- VIDEO ---

1. Isle of Capri is Denied. [ 12.20 ]
-- I didn't realize this till just now, but this was 3 months to the day of Malkin's Injury.
Just an awful day, because this is something we had banked on for nearly a year.
It still hurts because the situation is still unresloved, but we can only hope and pray that it does get done. That day will be the only thing that can erase December 20, 2006.

.............................

Top 10 Moments of the Season

10. Penguins crush Flyers 8-2 in Philadelphia. [ 10.28 ]
-- It could definitely be higher than number 10, but this game was simply the Penguins beating up on a weak team. The fact that it was against the Flyers makes it that much more gratifying, though.

9. Evgeni Malkin scores in his first NHL game against New Jersey. [ 10.18 ]
-- Kind of sad that his first goal wasn't one of the normal variety.
For the rest of his career, Malkin has to remember his first NHL goal was cheap.

8. Nils Ekman hat trick against Tampa Bay. [ 11.08 ]-- The quickest three goals scored in Penguin history. After that game (and before it), Ekman hasn't made an impact other than being fast and not being able to finish. Koltzov, anyone?

7. Opening night. Fleury's shutout against Philadelphia. [ 10.05 ]
-- A highly-anticipated opening night was something that made us think we were dreaming. But the Flyers turned out to actually be that terrible.

6. Malkin goes on a six-game goal-scoring streak to start his NHL career.
-- The arrival of Malkin onto the scene made NHL statisticians delve into the history books.

5. Penguins shootout victory against Atlanta on December 9th.
-- A big match-up against one of the best teams in the Eastern Conference. The Pens played a consistent, hard-working game and were awarded when Colby Armstrong scored in overtime.

4. Penguins starting the season 7-3-0.
-- Not in our wildest dreams did we expect the Pens to start the season 7-3. Penguins fever was somewhat palpable in that first month of the season.

3. Sidney Crosby's 6-point night in a 8-4 win over the Flyers. [ 12.13 ]
-- Crosby goes nuts to attain first place in the points race.
--- VIDEO ---

2. Frantic comeback against Washington. [ 12.11 ]
-- This game quickly turned from one of the worst games of the season to one of the most memorable.

1. Evgeni Malkin injects hope into Pens fans everywhere with an electrifying goal in a victory against the Devils on October 24th. This win also propelled the Penguins to first place in the Atlantic Division.
The Pensblog's "We Are All Witnesses" post is one of my personal favorites that we've ever done.
--- VIDEO ---

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Five Biggest Goals of 2006-07

( Not the best; the biggest )

5. Crosby scores with 3.3 seconds left in a 6-5 win over the Rangers on October 12th.

-- In one of the best games of the season, Crosby denies the Rangers a point in the final seconds with a bank shot off a Ranger's defenseman. Madison Square Garden is stunned.

---- VIDEO ----

4. Gonchar scores overtime goal against Islanders to begin a five-game winning streak in October.
-- Malkin scored halfway through the third to tie it up. A big, overtime win like this really instilled some confidence in the players...and the fans, too.

3. In the final game of that winning streak, Malkin scores in overtime against Los Angeles.
-- In a game that I remember saying no one should have won, the Pens were given a gift power play in OT. A rebound lands on Malkin's stick and he buries it into an empty net.

2. Armstrong scores in overtime to beat Atlanta.
-- The Pens have had four or five "must-win games" already this season. This was one of them.

1. Malkin scores in the waning minutes to beat Philadelphia.
-- The game tied at 2, late in the third. Malkin rises to the occasion with a wicked one-timer from the circle. Worthy of number one on your list?

.......................

Top 5 Jobber Goals
( Goals by jobbers )

5. Jarrko Ruutu scores on opening night
-- The Mellon Arena crowd falling in love with Jarrko Ruutu.

4. Chris Thorburn enjoys ice-time with Malkin and Crosby, scoring a goal against Anaheim.
-- Easily one of the best jobbers the Pens have had in recent years. He found himself on Malkin and Crosby's line after a penalty and took advantage of it.


3. Alain Nasreddine scores in Montreal.
-- Using common sense at the end of a period, Nasreddine snuck in from the point and one-timed a Crosby pass into the net with 0.3 remaining.

2. Both of John LeClair's goals.
-- Yes, all two of them

1. Joe Melichar on opening night.
-- Future Norris Trophy winner Joey Melichar puts a puck in on a pretty decent shot.

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Four Worst Games of the Season
( Devils games don't count )

4. Detroit bores the hell out of Mellon Arena. [ 10.07 ]
-- This was easily one of the least entertaining games of the season. Pens managed 13 shots.

3. Ottawa shows up. Pens don't. [ 11.10 ]
-- A big Friday night brought the fans out to the Arena, only to watch Ottawa have their way with our Pens.

2. Armstrong's hit on Trevor Letowski sparks Carolina in another Saturday night loss for the Pens. [ 10.14 ]

-- A freaky game that we all hope is lost forever when talking about the 2006-07 season. Kris Letang scored a freaky goal for the Pens while Carolina poured it on.

1. The Blues suck. [ 12.19 ]
-- A simply frustrating game to watch. No comment.

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Four Best Games of the Season

4. Penguins push Anaheim to the brink. [ 11.06 ]
-- Against one of the top-tier teams of the NHL, the Penguins held their ground and made Anaheim work hard for a victory on their home ice.

3. Penguins crush Flyers. [ 10.28 ]
-- One of our best games and one of our best moments of the season. Seriously, it felt that good.


2. Penguins earn a hard-fought victory over Atlanta. [ 12.09 ]
-- Nothing much to say that our game recap didn't say for us. It still resonates as a huge win.
--- VIDEO ---

1. Penguins come from behind to beat Washington. [ 12.11 ]
-- For the rest of the season, we can always fall back on this game when we're down 4-0 halfway through the second period.
To be able to come back like that shows this team doesn't give up.
--- VIDEO ---

P.S. -- What does it mean when you realize that these four games were all road games?

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Five Things To Look Forward To
( In no particular order, except for number one )

5. The Playoff Push.
--The Pens, for the first time in a long time, have a chance to at least be in a position to make the playoffs.

4. The Trade Deadline.
-- Everyone loves talking about trades.
If the Pens can smell the playoffs, will Shero have the brass of a riverboat gambler?

3. The Malkin Man.
-- Can Geno Malkin step up his game to that next level that everyone knows he can? He has been inconsitent at times, but his flashes of brilliance far outweigh any of that. It should be fun watching Malkin in '07.

2. The Crosby Show.
-- If '06 was a flash of what is to come, we are going to be in for a spectactular '07. Can Sid lead the NHL in points the rest of the season? Can he lead the Pens to the playoffs? If he does both, then you can send the Hart Memorial Trophy to where you've sent it many times before: Mario Lemieux's house.

Can Bing continue going nuts?

1. The New Deal.

The Pens' Arena Deal will garner all the attention, and well, it should. Because the let's face it... if the Pens leave, we're all leaving, too.

Starting on Jan 1, 2007, the clock is ticking.

That's What We're Talkin About. Pens WIN.

NHL.com Game Recap

Derek went to the game tonight, and we'll be getting some pictures he took.

Also, Steph from No Pun Intended has the recap from a Toronto fan's point-of-view.

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There was definitely a fever pitch in the air tonight. Staggy and Errey alluded to it at the top of the broadcast, and for good reason.

The puck was dropped, and you have to admit you were a little nervous. Nervous might not be the right word. Nervous is reserved for playoff time. But this felt like a playoff game.

What all happened in the first? Nothing much except Ekman going all Mark-Eaton on us.
Fleury was making some big saves, and so was J.S. Aubin.

With time ticking down at the end of the first, our boy (TM) Erik Christensen snapped a shot past Aubin on the powerplay to give the Pens a 1-0 lead.

The second period was the best period of hockey in a while. End-to-end action.
Halfway through the second period, Malkin was robbed on a nice save by Aubin...
Before you knew it, Toronto was flying back the other way on an odd-man rush.
A delicious rebound landed on Sundin's stick, and his Mellon Arena goal-count is now 145.
Thankfully, that would be it for the Maple Leaves (Leafs?).

A.) How did these guys get Igloo Seats?

B.) That lady looks pissed.

Early in the third period, the Pens took advantage of a 5-on-3 powerplay when Gonchar rocketed a shot towards the net that hit Aubin's stick and went in. That was huge.

But I long for the days when we don't have to immediately think of how devastating it's going to be when the other team ties it up.
Would Toronto crap on our hopes?
Nope.

Six minutes after Gonchar's goal, the Pens were on another power play. Gonchar had the puck at the point and did a shot-pass to Malkin who redirected it in. 3-1. 13:00 remaining.

For the rest of the game, Toronto wasn't really able to sustain any pressure or scoring opportunities.

Edit: Anyone who watched the game on FSN tonight recognizes this lady:

In a weird twist, I have learned that she is in relation with a kid I knew in high school.
I just want to know why she was predominantly featured after the goals.

With seven minutes left in the game, Jordan Staal forechecked his way into another goal. Just a nice jobber play that put the final nail in the coffin.

The rest of the game consisted of Bob Errey and Steigerwald arguing over Jack Johnson and Eric Johnson...
and making the 22nd and final Murphy Dump reference of 2006.

This is obviously what they were talking about.

Stats

• Crosby: 3 A
• Malkin: 1 G, 1 A
• Gonchar: 1 G, 1 A
• Fleury: 30 saves
• Shots: TOR ( 31 ) PENS ( 30 )
• Powerplay: TOR ( 0 for 6 ) PENS ( 3 for 10 )

Miscellaneous

• Was Ekman's injury a result of bad karma stemming from the Def Leppard joke?
• Early reports on Ekman indicated an elbow injury.
  
• Derek told me that during the Ruutu fight in the second, a Maple Leaf fan was getting beaten up/something in the stands near the penalty box.
• Gonchar has been playing out of his mind recently. What a play keeping that puck in the zone with his glove.
• As long as the Pens realize that this is how they have to play every night in order to get into the playoffs, then we're in good shape.
• Is it just me, or have their been some weird offside calls this year?
• Malkin falls again.
• We didn't even notice Melichar tonight. That's a good sign.

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BIG WEEK COMING UP.

This weekend, we are bringing you the 2006 calendar year in review...
as well as the 2006-07 Penguins review.

We will also be in the Student Rush line for Tuesday's game against Carolina...with a camcorder.
We are in the process of making a little Pens fan-video for the site.
If you see us, please approach us, and we'll definitely get you in the video.

Speaking of videos......We have 90% certainty that the 1991 and 1992 playoff goals MPEG will be in our hands by Wednesday, January 3rd.

In a perfect world, the video will be available on Google Video before Friday.

Since You Been Gone, We've Done An NHL Recap

Warning: The gayness emanating from this post may make your computer crash.

It was one of the more boring news days of the Pensblog era, until this broke.

Huge sitdown next Thursday between Lemieux, Rendell, Onorato, and 18 year-old Mayor Luke Ravenstahl.

Get it done, fellas.

I love the headline of the Post-Gazette:

"Lemieux agrees to meeting with Rendell"

Two letters were written; one by Mario, and one by the three amigos.

"It is essential for the future of this franchise that we negotiate an arena deal that makes economic sense for the long term." -- Mario Lemieux

"We believe the time has come for those [arena financing] discussions to begin and to proceed in an expeditious manner, as we would like to complete negotiations on a financial plan by no later than March 31, 2007." -- Larry, Curly, and Ho-moe

My only question is... who writes letters anymore? I thought the whole letter-writing went out the window in the 1800's.

Picture: A mail carrier delivers Mario Lemieux's letter to City Hall.

.................................................

But other than that, it's been a jobber day, and that makes a semi-Kelly Clarkson-themed recap a piece of cake.

.................................

--First things first, though. We have a beef with FSN Pittsburgh.
We have got to do something about the camera angles.
We're not telling anyone how to do their jobs because we are more than content to be able to catch every Pens game on TV.
But....
We have been quiet about this for long enough.

Too many times this year, we have missed scoring chances when the puck is in the corner and the camera switches to a close-up. And here's the thing. As Penguins fans, we firmly believe if we see a scoring chance that we can will the puck into the net. I felt robbed when we didn't get a chance to see Thorburn's one-timer from Staal in Wednesday's game. If we see that scoring chance, the puck goes in.

Here is what we mean:

I don't need a close up of this when someone is about to accept the pass in front of the net.
Keep it simple, FSN.
Don't make us call up Abe Zapruder from Wilkes-Barre.

Clutch camerawork.

.......................................

--- Here's a little column from Dave Molinari at the Post-Gazette...
Only big thing in there is the news that Eaton is aiming to be back in the lineup by early February.

--- The Senators' Mike Fisher suffered a partially torn MCL. Man, I really wish we hadn't used up our Dany Heatley allowance for the month of December.

--- The Pensblog commenters, including us, are starting to curiously look at the enigma that is Evgeni Malkin.
He falls at least once a game for no reason at all. He goes on scoring tears and then proceeds to falter.
Nevertheless, if you are somehow disappointed in Malkin's performance this year, then wow.

Behind These Hazel Eyes is a young man still adjusting to life in the NHL.

---- Rory Fitzpatrick falling in the Western Conference voting.

.............................
Gaymes

Flyers squeak past the Lightning 4-3. They were up 3-1 late in the second when Sami Kapanen grabbed the puck and scored the eventual game-winning goal on a...

Bre-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-k Awa-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-y

In the battle between the two teams that play 8 games a week, the Sabres were looking for attention, not another question. The Canes had to walk away with a 4-1 defeat.

OK, that's enough Kelly Clarkson references...
This isn't homoblog.

The Red Wings smoked the Blue Jackets 7-4....
The nets in this game were used more than Kristin Cavalleri at a party in Hollywood on any given night.

" How To Be a 'D' celebrity and Be Happy About It "
A new book by Kristin Cavalleri...slut

This post goes down in the anals, I mean annals, of gay blog posts.

Kings over the Oilers 7-4...
If you want a recap of that game, mouse over to No Pun Intended.

One late game: Sharks and Coyotes tied at 2.

...........................................

Huge game for the Pens tomorrow, and what a atmosphere it will be with the crazy Maple Leaf fans in town.
If you're going to the game, look for me (Derek). I'll be running around, taking pictures with Leafs fans.

At Least It Was Exciting. PENS LOSE.

NHL.com GAME RECAP

FIRST OFF, WE GOT A TOILET-LOAD OF HITS FROM RANDOM PEOPLE SEARCHING THE TRIVIA QUESTION FROM TONIGHT'S GAME ON FSN.
WELCOME TO THE PENSBLOG.
IF YOU DON'T HAVE ANY FRIENDS, THIS IS THE SITE FOR YOU.

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Compared to last night's game in New Jersey, this game against Atlanta was like playing with your friends at the local dek-hockey rink.

For some reason this season, these strings of losses aren't really worrying me too much. I think it's because we all know how good this Penguin team is.
All I know is the Pens have to go on a mini-tear pretty soon. 19 points in their next 12 games...or something to that effect.

The Pens came out flying tonight. All they had to show for it was like one shot through the first ten minutes.
In the first period, we were more shorthanded than the drummer from Def Leppard.

He has one arm.

Joltin' Joe Melichar is hoping to break Joe DiMaggio's record of 56 consecutive games with a stupid play/penalty.
Bob Hartley couldn't figure out why his powerplay was lackluster in the first period.

Atlanta coach Bob Hartley should be more worried about those two cavities.

The Pens successfully killed off every penalty in the first period.
With the Pennies on the power play late in the first, Erik Christensen plinko-ed a goal past Kari "The Boss" Lehtonen to give the Pens a 1-0 lead going into the intermission.

The second period started and things were more perfect than Curt Hennig.

The Pens could use an Intercontinental belt about now.

Eight minutes into the second, however, Vitaly Vishnevski scored to tie the game up at 1.
Eight minutes after that, Niclas Havelid scored with his peepee to make it 2-1.
That 2-1 lead stayed intact for Atlanta until Ryan Whitney rose to the occasion in the third.

57 seconds into the third period, Malkin fed a pass to Whitney, who then buried a powerplay goal to tie the game up. This game still didn't feel right.

In a perfect world: Kelly Clarkson marries me, gives birth to our three sons, and sings the national anthem at every Pens game.

Roughly six minutes after that Whitney goal, the Thrashers' Slava Kozlov scored a nice goal to make it 3-2. That was all Atlanta would need.

Despite some valiant efforts by the Pens late, they just couldn't tie the game up.
Bobby Holik finished the Pens off with an empty-net goal.

Stats

• Sidney Crosby: Played tonight
• Malkin: 1 assist
• Ryan Whitney: 1 G, 1 A
• Shots: ATL (31) PENS (37)
• Pooperplay: Both teams - 2 for 6

Miscellaneous

• Nice to see The Moose back in Mellon Arena. Still one of my all-time favorite Pens.
• Not nice to see Michel Ouellet. Still an inconsistent hockey player.
• Nice to see Christensen gaining the testicular fortitude to shoot the puck more.
  
• Gonchar with some stellar defensive plays tonight.
• Fleury played well enough to get a win.
• I'm guessing anyone watching the game on FSN heard the angst in Bob Errey's voice in that third period. Maybe we're fortunate to have a color commentator that is extremely devoted to our team.
• A lot of no-calls tonight. Nothing we can do about it except complain on our internet website.
• By my personal standards, this is another sub-par recap. That's because I'm still finishing off some Christmas brew. Considering the recent woes of the Pens...if you aren't feeling the need for a little assistance through these hard times, good for you. You're stronger than most.
  
• What we have in store for you in the next week or so will make my holiday alcoholism and my random Kelly Clarkson fantasies of no consequence.
  

All the NHL's Men

Huge night in the NHL.
And let's just say the Christmas spirit is long forgotten.

But before we go around the NHL, there's some other stuff worth mentioning.

..................

Today is December 27. If you need help in remembering the significance of that date...then, wow.

The World Junior Championships started Tuesday.

Canada beat Sweden 2-0.
USA lost to Germany in a clear revenge game from World War II.

America is mud when it comes to hockey.

Word has it that the Pens' Kris Letang looked good. There are a few other players from the Pens playing over there, too.

You can watch the games by clicking the link in the top right corner on TSN.ca.

....................

John Buccigross got attacked via the internet by some Canadian jerk-offs in response to his Penguins column last week.
Look...you can't have the Penguins, Canada.
You couldn't even support the Nordiques...or the Jets.

If you have time, read the "Ed from Vancouver" e-mail.
Let's hope Ed finds his way into Dany Heatley's neighborhood tonight.

........................................

Is anyone tired of the Mark Messier commercials yet?
I like how he says that he is giving us a Cold-FX all-star update...but it lacks anything resembling an update.

If I got to go the All-Star Game, the last person I would want to hang out with would be Mark Messier.

Funny on so many levels. Just enjoy the moment.
.........................................

Huge night around the league:

Isles shutout the Rangers...2-0...Ricky DeePee is money in the bank.

The Sabres smoke the Caps....AO got crushed at the end of this game. The Sabres exploded with 6 goals in the first period. Ovechkin scored a goal in the third to make it 6-2, or 6-3...and proceeded to put his hand to his ear Hulk-Hogan-style, taunting the Sabres fans.

Chicago is red hot...

So are the Canes...

Atlanta played tonight and won...
Tampa Bay is as consistent as Michel Therrien's line combinations.

If the Caps played the Lightning tonight, this would have been perfect.

Columbus and the Bruins played one of the best games on Versus in a while..Blue Jackets win in OT

Toronto wins.... Minnesota cannot win on the road.

Nashville wins in OT...I guess the Blues lay down for everyone but the Pens.


Some Late games:

Canucks over the Flames...
The aforementioned "Ed from Vancouver" is probably loving it.

Phoenix beating the Kings early in the second

Ducks with a lead over the Sharks midway though the second

....................................
NOTHING TO DO WITH HOCKEY, BUT WORTH YOUR WHILE.

The godfather of soul passed away on Monday. Great entertainer, great singer.

Great person to interview when he is smashed:

...............................................
We have no idea in the world why we haven't passed this link onto everyone yet:

PeekVid.com

TV shows, Movies, the works.
Totally Free.

Adam varies his time between Pensblog and catching up on seasons 1 and 2 of House, M.D.

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZ....PENS LOSE.

No NHL.com Game Recap because there's nothing really to look at.

Because this was the most boring game of The Pensblog Era, we're gonna have a general NHL recap later tonight, too.

The first period of the game tonight looked like a game of pong.
But, of course, it was Devils Pong (TM):

Imagine the impossibility of scoring a goal in a pong game like this.
Welcome to the Atlantic Division.

The puck just went back and forth, back and forth. I'm tired of using the word "boring" to describe Devils hockey. Before you knew it, the first period was over with absolutely nothing to talk about.

As expected, the second period was the same as the first period.
Paul Steigerwald mentioned that this game could easily be compared to an NBA game, which is true.
The only difference was that none of the players on the ice were high.

Right after Steigerwald finished that thought, Pat Sajak of Wheel of Fortune fame scored for New Jersey to basically end the game.

I'd like to buy a vowel.

Besides Crosby mucking it up and the Pens' power play needing Viagra, there is absolutely nothing else to discuss in regards to the first two periods.

What a surprise...nothing happened in the third period.
The Pens were a tip-in away from tying this game up, but it just wasn't happening.

We're playing the Devils, so you only need one guess as to who scored the second Devils' goal in the third period.........Jay Pandolfo.

To make it look like the Devils "blew us out", Brian Gionta scored a little bit later to make it 3-0.

Devils Suck.

And with 2.3 seconds left...finally something to cheer about.
We always mention the word "jobber" and the verb '"to job".
Jordan Staal helped us define "jobber" with his trip of Martin Brodeur late in the game.
He pretended to do it nonchalantly, but it was golden.
That, my friends, was a job.

Stats

• Me: 2 ham sandwiches
• Martin Brodeur: 780th career shutout
  

Miscellaneous

• I'm glad I'm not a Devils fan.
• One of the Penguins may have farted in the third period, but that is not confirmed.
• We waited 4 days for this?
• Seriously...there is nothing else to talk about. Other than the usual and merited hate-comments, there's no reason to expect any of our illustrious readers commenting on this game.

Back To Business

I know that a ton of our readers won't even bother looking at this post when they return to their computers after break. If you do, you are very loyal.

It's pathetic, but not posting or even visiting the site for over a day made me yearn for The Pensblog. It's becoming part of me. It's either help run this site or get a girlfriend and have to play all kinds of stupid relationship games. Pass.

It's been a nice Christmas day, and I've been drinking.

......................................
NHL News

After making out with my computer because I didn't see it for over a day, I started checking out some links that we've missed.

Post-Gazette has a little miscellaneous article about some things.

----- For the entire All-Star weekend in Dallas, the NHL is going to position the goal judges above the nets, rather than behind them. The article mentioned an Edmonton scenario where the judges were placed directly above the nets, but the article insinuates that the judges will be in the press box.
They're messing with some fine tradition. Maybe they should just let Jesus be the goal judge.

Picture: Jesus points to center ice, signifying a goal.

----- Scoring is down so far this season, and everyone is throwing suggestions around. Bigger nets, making the goalie play without a stick, or the goalie using a regular stick as opposed to a goalie stick. Okay.

----- Another part of the article discussed the possible realignment ideas being thrown around by the NHL. As long as our Pens aren't in a Midwest Division next year, I could care less.

.....................................

--- Toronto's Michael Peca will be out three months with a fractured tibia.

--- I wasted the muscles in my hands to link you to this Bob McKenzie article about Plan B.

If you thought this post was a waste of time, you are not alone.

......................................

The games that matter on Tuesday will be:

Pens @ New Jersey - 7:30
Rangers @ Islanders - 7:30

Christmas, all over.... again

Merry Christmas everyone!

Pensblog Staff will be back on Christmas day, unless we have too much Christmas goodies.

Everyone be safe, and enjoy it.

Sincerely,

The Pensblog Staff

Jingle Pucks

Well, since the last 72 hours have completely blinded us from anything going on elsewhere in the NHL, we figured it was time to move to some other news around the league, if only for therapy.

...............

We missed the story of Rory Fitzpatrick, and shame on us for 6 weeks.

Apparently a fan website named www.VoteForRory.com, started writing in votes for Vancouver defense man Rory Fitzpatrick. And now Fitzpatrick is second in voted for d-men in the western conference. Unreal stuff.

Here is one of the commercials from the Vote For Rory Campaign:



We should have did this for Joe Melichar.
We are making our prediction, though. Fitzpatrick will be "injured" come time for the All-Star game.

...............

The NHL talking about changing divisions up.

This would be the worst idea since Macaulay Culkin decided to grow up.

Was anyone bigger in the early 90's then Macaulay Culkin? Now he is eating dog food.

"The new divisions in the East: one would feature Montreal, Ottawa, Toronto, Buffalo, Boston, Pittsburgh and Western Conference alumni Columbus. The other division would include the New York Rangers, New York Islanders, New Jersey, Philadelphia, Washington, Tampa Bay, Florida and Carolina. The Caps rejoining their old Patrick Division rivals was a popular sentiment at Wednesday's meeting"

OK look, I don't remember a whole lot about the Patrick Division, being that I was like 8. But the Caps had bigger rivalries with the Flyers, Devils, Rangers, and Isles then the Penguins do? I am serious, someone explain, I have no idea.

......................

Scott Nichol from Nashville got suspended for 9 games for his sucker punch on Jaroslav Spacek of the Sabres.

I couldn't find any video of it that I could get the link to. But watching it. I would have done the same thing Nichol did, and then I would of slammed Lindy Ruff 's head off the boards out of principal. Mind you this all changes if Nichol did this to a Penguin.

I guess Micheal Winbon from PTI wasn't happy, saying if this happened in the NBA people would be flipping out.

Mike, were fine on this one. No seriously we heard Lebron James took a dump, so you should go cover that, or something...dick

.....................

A brief look around some scores:

New Jersey over the Caps..4-1
Carolina takes a dump on the Isles
Columbus is red hot.. they beat the Canucks 3-2...Anson Carter with a goal against his former team.
Detroit wins 3-1 over the Wild
and last but not least.. the Blackhawks win over the Maple Leafs Peter Bondra scored his 500th career goal( I feel like 250 where against the pens)


Good night all and Keep your head up.

The Pensblog Takes Action

Okay, Pens fans. We have come up with four initiatives here that Ravenstahl and company will not be able to ignore.

But, first, we have to discuss our other options to fund an arena if our four plans do not pass.

1. Win the PowerBall.

You would be a god in this town if you won a $195 million jackpot in the PowerBall and gave the money to build the new arena.
Every Pens fan in the world buys ten PowerBall tickets in every possible PowerBall drawing. Odds are that sooner or later, one of us could hit. But probably not.

2. The "Shoeless Joe Jackson" Initiative

This would be tough for us to execute because we hate to see our Pens lose.
However, our plan is to contact the Pens and have them throw the rest of their season; losing every game while keeping an eye on the spread and the over/under for every game.
Pens fans everywhere bet against the Pens for the rest of the season.
$290 million dollars.
New Arena.

...................................................................................

We present to you our arena-funding initiatives: Plans C, D, E, and F.

VOTE at the end of the post.

( For all plans, the NHL will have the Pens play all 82 games on the road in the 2007-08 season. )

PLAN "C"

The funding for this plan will center around the American public's fascination with James Taylor. He is very rich. We contact him and spill our hearts to him about the Pens.
He puts a down payment on a new arena and sings the national anthems at every Penguin game.
The rest of the money would come from deals with the brand-new Wal-Mart, KFC, and Sheetz built on Crawford Street.
Wal-Mart is loaded.

.............................................................

PLAN "D"
An 18,000-seat facility built in the Lower Hill.
Tampax was originally slated to get the naming rights to the Steelers new football stadium, but complications arose when discussion began on what would happen when the Steelers got inside the 20-yard line.
Also, there are on-going talks with LifeTime to show movies during the intermissions between periods.
Funding for this arena would be provided by The Mall at Robinson.
This plan would also include a Jake Wheatley Memorial Statue to be built beside the new Penguins practice facility.
.......................................

PLAN "E"
A 17,000-seat arena built and designed in homage to one of Pittsburgh's most controversial personalities.
The arena would be funded by drug dealers in nearby neighborhoods. Dealers must come up with $200 million cash up-front.
It would also be funded by holding back John Fedko's salary every other year for the next 20 years.
This initiative also calls for a total re-vamping of the Hill District. Houses would be torn down and replaced with 3,000 Dek-Hockey rinks.
A Jake Wheatley Memorial Urinal is in the plan as well.
..................................

PLAN "F"

We saved the best for last.
Our goal here is for every Pens fan to not use Comcast Cable.
The moronic Steelers Comcast commercials would stop due to lack of revenue.
Comcast realizes the Steelers are essentially to blame for their drop in earnings.
They bring Heinz Field to the ground.
The Steelers move into PNC Park and can only play 4 home games per year.
A brand new, state-of-the-art replica of Mellon Arena is built in the ashes of Heinz Field.
Jerome Bettis Memorial Port-A-Johns are one of the things we could lose if the negotiations get intense.

.....................................

Ravenstahl, the puck is in your zone.

Pensblog, out.

.......................................

Which plan is the best?
Plan C
Plan D
Plan E
Plan F
Current results

If Only For A Short While. PENS LOSE.

NHL.com GAME RECAP

For the briefest of moments, no one was thinking about the slots license, Isle of Capri, Kansas City, or the fact that the new NBC show 'Identity' sucks.

I'll be honest. I was apathetic during most of this game tonight. The slowness of my mind and soul the last few days can only be categorized with the word 'depression'.

1:36 (Damn you, Bettis) into the game, Niko Kapanen scores on a rebound to allow the Thrashers goal-horn man to touch himself while he blared the horn. Who the hell names their kid Niko? Name him 'Nike' and make millions in endorsements.
I'm naming my kid "GoogleWikiPediaebay.son".

That was it for the first period, other than a great penalty kill where Ryan Malone and Dominic Moore were selflessly throwing their bodies around.

The second period was the longest period of my life. Just sitting here and watching this semi-boring game invited the thoughts of the past few days to enter your head.

Just as I was about to sacrifice my pet chicken Marty to the hockey gods, Ilya Kovalchuk scored to make it 2-0. That goal didn't affect me at all. I didn't shift in my seat, I didn't look at the ground. I just sat there. I shouldn't even be writing this recap right now. Sick.

With less than four minutes left in the second, Jordan Staal stole the puck and scored a shorthanded goal. I didn't move an inch.
When Atlanta scored another goal before the end of the second period to make it 3-1, I couldn't even bear to watch the end of the second. I'm sorry. I had to get away.

I walked around the neighborhood (Oakland) to do some soul searching.

Picture: The same reaction my father had when I told him I was not a homosexual.

Using my internal between-periods clock, I got back to my house and was ready for the third period.
Killing my chicken worked. Ryan Malone jobbed in a goal to make it 3-2. 16 minutes remaining. It was the first time I was alert.
The Pens had an excellent shift with Malkin and Crosby flying around for the better part of a minute. That's what got me fired up.
With penalties being called back and forth in the final minutes, apathy was setting in again.

With a minute left, the Pens pull Thibault in their last-ditch effort to tie this game up. The Thrashers clear the puck and Recchi carried the puck through the neutral zone on the always inspiring "final rush". I shifted to the end of the couch.

Malkin swoops in, drags the puck along. It hits something and goes wide. Someone chips it over towards the goal crease and right to the stick of Bing. He bangs it in with 15 seconds left to tie it up. When that net moved, nothing else mattered. The feeling only lasted a few seconds, but that was the best thing to happen to the beleaguered Pens fans in the past 48 hours.

" asdfmg;lkfdner.hjerygh934.uw5604j ;g89riudndgoa/sko F;WEIOHJ "

-- Actual IM sent by me to commenter " Will from Butler " when Crosby scored

The best scoring chance of the overtime belonged to the Pens when Crosby was working the boards like a member of LetsGoPens.com. He sent it out in front, but it just wasn't meant to be.

In the shootout, Slava Kozlov made Thibault look like platypus urine and Marian Hossa came in later to score and ice the game, no pun intended.
Christensen and Crosby both failed in their attempts to register a goal in the shootout.

Stats

• Crosby: 1 G, 1 A
• Staal: Another shorthanded goal
• Atlanta: Sucks
• Powerplays: ATL ( 2 FOR 7 ) PENS ( O FOR 7 )
• Shots: ATL ( 32 ) PENS ( 39 )
• Add another shot to Atlanta's total if you want to count the cheap one that Holik delivered on Moore.

Miscellaneous

• Nice segment about the Pens and Christmas. Danny Po comes through.
• Dan Snyder reference in the game tonight. No comment. We can't afford the bad Karma
  
• Malkin's shot off the post was the hardest post shot I have ever seen.
• Crosby is sick.
• Again...3 goals given up...can't ask much more of your backup goalie.
• Anyone else notice Therrien look up the names of the officials on the piece of paper in his pocket?
• Mark Recchi takes some dumb penalties.
• Right-handed defenseman buries that opportunity Whitney had late in the third.
• Deepest apologies for this sub-par recap. It's not the usual stuff. It is a reflection of my mind and soul right now. I swear on my hopes of the Penguins staying in town that I'll be good to go in a few days.
  

HAVE A FRIGGIN SWEET CHRISTMAS, EVERYONE.
OUR PENSBLOG CHRISTMAS PRESENT IS NOT READY YET. OUR APOLOGIES.
...............................................

We're working on Plans C through F right now, too.
Post later tonight.

Adam Duritz Helps A Nation Cope With The News

If you didn't catch our Isle of Capri recap, it's the next post down.

"...Drove up to Mellon Arena sometime after 2am to talk a little while about the year."

..."And it's been a long December, and there's reason to believe..."

As a Penguin nation is still reeling, all we can do is hope. Everyone is tired of it already. But get ready, folks. The worst is yet to come.

Lets go around the links that you have most likely read in disbelief aready:

6 man race for the Pens.. according the Trib thanks to commenter CDY for the heads up.

More Stomach Punch, Relocation talk....
Commentor Gaundi helps us with this though:

"If the Pens leave, Pittsburgh will lose so much money and community support that the population decrease could skyrocket within the next year or two. A loss as massive as this could drive the city into the deepest hole it has ever been in. One that it may never clime from. The city could lose everything that a city needs (money and people) yet it could gain the same by builing an arena (for the penguins and a lot more)."

Shelley Anderson tells us Mario is stunned....

There's a part of that article that makes you throw up:

"Let's just say it's beginning to look a lot like Christmas," Brenda Tinnen, general manager of Kansas City's new Sprint Center, told the Kansas City Star.

Hey it's me -- Kansas City. Our baseball team sucks, and our football team is 9-7.
I have taken better dumps than Kansas City...
It's beginning to look like your city is gay.
Lamar Hunt got out of there when he could.

...........................................

Well that's enough of that crap. There is a huge game tonight.

Geno Malkin talks about some rookie hiccups

After the game tonight, the Pens get their biggest lay-off since late October. We don't play again until Tuesday at New Jersey.

....................................

" Well, then. I guess there is only one thing left to do... "

" ... Win the f$@kin' thing. "

Keep your chin up today and punch anyone who even hints at taunting you today.

State of Emergency

You have to admit. That looks pretty solid.
Wait till the thousands of elementary school kids get to ask their teachers, "Hey, what's that building?" as they file out of their bus on a field trip to Carnegie Science Center.

......................................

Unbelievable.

The Pensblog commenters came through in fine style. You make every day worth living for us.

Due to the overwhelming number of comments we received today, the readers of The Pensblog have essentially written this upcoming post for us. We'll be grabbing excerpts from certain comments while giving our take on it. This is a collective post from the entire Pensblog Staff.

We're going to go right down the middle with our thoughts, although we may trail off towards the end into a mindless rage. Oh, but we won't make racial slurs.
Tsk Tsk.
But we understand.

We know everyone that either posted comments today and/or visit The Pensblog every day are just as big of Pens fans as anyone, including us.
This post is our "comment". We have this website, and that makes our thoughts more noticeable.
Our main goal on this site has always been to not be opinionated. We deliver news about the Pens and the NHL to people who are tired of reading the Post-Gazette. That's all we are.
And we have fun.

....................................

First off, we had plenty of mentions about Plan B.

Plan B

Our contention here has always been that because Isle of Capri and the Penguins signed an agreement saying the Penguins couldn't discuss Plan B publicly certainly didn't mean they weren't talking behind the scenes.
Numerous commenters mentioned how big of a blow the young politicians in the area would take if they just let the Penguins leave.

Joshua was on the comments board all day, keeping the discussion in check. As far as the tangent that we're on right now goes, he had this in one of his comments (from an AP article):

"There is absolutely no doubt in my mind we will get an arena done," Ravenstahl said.

We're telling you right now that the Penguins ARE NOT leaving town. If you think they are, that's fine. Everyone has their own opinion on this, but there is no reason in the world for Ravenstahl to come out and boldy say that with, dare I say, the brass of a riverboat gambler.

The most important Luke since Luke Perry.
Pittsburgh 15222

.............................................................

Moving on.
We apologize if someone mentioned it earlier than Wes, but we're giving Wes credit for being the first to mention the racial implications in the Gaming Board's decision. We walk some fine lines on the Pensblog, but we can't touch this one.

When I read Wes' comment, though, it did make me stop and think.
It makes perfect sense.
But so does showering only once a week to save money on soap: It's a great concept and you can make an iron-clad case for it, but you'll still offend people.

..............................................................

I (Adam) personally felt that the most spirited comment that struck a chord with MY personal views on the subject was this one from Rico Fatastic:
If the Pens haven't been privately formulating a response to Plan B, then they deserve to disband for being a terribly run business. That being said, Plan B's going to happen. Too many young and/or up-and-coming politicans (read: Onorato, Ravenstahl) have too much to lose by botching this development AND losing the Pens. Same can be said for Governor Rendelphia. I think Plan B will happen, it's just a matter of how much the Pens are going to have to pay. Beyond the Penguins, this was a stupid, short-sighted move by the Commonwealth that will play a huge role in the continued, hoped for renaissance of this city. I think that too many people have failed to realize that all we do is talk about restoring the 5th/Forbes Corridor, yet we make no moves to reconnect the Hill/uptown/Oakland to the area. The redevelopment proposed by IOC could have been the uptown anchor the 5th/Forbes redevlopment that's starting with the new PNC Place around Liberty and Market. Instead, we get another freestanding establishment on the North Shore that will be surrounded by more parking lots and empty hotels. On the bright side, at least Station Square isn't going to be ruined.

No reason in particular, but it especially caught my interest.

...........................................................

On our rational side, we had to agree with Zarley Zalapski Is My Homeboy's comment.
It was a pretty long one, but just go into the comments and Apple-F (CTRL-F) and search Zarley.

...............................................................

Jake Wheatley is loving life right now. He was right. He got his way. At least the 7o people in the Hill District will be able to sleep tonight.

Jake Wheatley celebrates the Hill District not having to deal with a casino by retiring for the night in his Harrisburg Mansion, 400 miles from the Hill District.

Jerome Bettis is dead to us. We are boycotting Giant Eagle.
Did PITG gaming win the slots license because of Jerome Bettis? No. But did Bettis have to be a part of the PITG gaming? He knows the importance of sports in this town. To me (Derek), he is a sellout. My father pleaded with me not to think like that, but no way. He was a pawn in Barden's game, and it worked. But today, I lost all respect for Bettis.

Picture: Jerome Bettis running towards a $5 bill someone dropped in the end zone

.............................................

Now we are left in the Darkest period of our sports lives. But there is hope.

• Don Barden has pledged his money, and frankly, I can't blame this guy for anything but running a good campaign. He made all the right moves. And we better learn to like him, and fast, because he can help us.

• This story is all over the news. The more exposure the better.

• The Steelers organization has this to say:

"We are extremely disappointed in the decision of the Gaming Commission to award the casino license on the North Shore. It seemed it was a process that was designed to give little weight to local interests and the result is indicative of that. We will have to consider all of our options in determining how to respond to this decision." -Art Rooney, the 45th

• Another person that could help the Pens: Bill Peduto. I noticed him when he was on Night Talk tonight. Peduto is serving his second term as a Member of Pittsburgh City Council. He is a huge Pens fan. He contacted us with an e-mail tonight:

"A mention of my stance for the past 12 months on the blog would go far. I will work and do everything I can to keep them here. The Pens know they can trust me and I intend to watch them here for the rest of my life."

Only Stephen Colbert rivals Bill Peduto in regards to true patriotism.

There aren't too many times in life where you imagine something sucking, then having it happen, and it sucking even more. I followed the events on this from the Post Gazette.

What a nightmare. We went from been being optimistic at about 11:30 am to despondent at about 11:32am, to catatonic at about 3pm.

It is almost impossible to be rational. But lets look at what we got.
Listening to a clearly bewildered Mark Madden, and watching various talk shows ( People almost fought on Night talk on PCNC), all we can say is this issue has divided a town.

.................

And, finally....Gary Bettman had this to say:

"The decision by the Gaming Commission was terrible news for the Penguins, their fans and the NHL," Bettman said in a statement. "The future of this franchise in Pittsburgh is uncertain and the Penguins now will have to explore all other options, including possible relocation. The NHL will support the Penguins in their endeavors."

...................................

Tough Day.

The Good News?

Pens at Atlanta
Thursday Night
7:00 - FSN

PITG GAMING GETS THE LICENSE

Let the speculation begin.........

Tomorrow's The Big Day. By the way, PENS LOSE.

NHL.com GAME RECAP

This was a very disturbing game to watch. The Pens had more issues than Sports Illustrated tonight.

I didn't catch the first period, and I was able to catch only the last ten minutes of the first period on the radio. As was the case with the Washington game last week, I run to my car after work to find the Pens already down 2-0. I hadn't hated my life all day (a record) until I heard Mike Lange say the Blues were up 2-0. Weight jobbed with a goal only 44 seconds into the game, and Dan Hinote scored five minutes later.

Considering the Blues were only 1-1-5 when leading after the first period, no one should have been the least bit worried.
Watching the first two minutes of the second period made me realize why the Pens were down.
Nothing was going right.
No bounces were going the Pens' way.
Their passes to each other were more terrible than the ones I make at the Sheetz MTO girl every day.
St. Louis was getting to every loose puck.
Is there any reason why the Pens didn't have a jump in their step tonight?
Is that Sheetz joke even funny?

While Pens fans were contemplating those questions, St. Louis scored again. Ryan Johnson made himself noticed (and put his name on the ballot for the NHL's most boring name contest) by making it 3-0. Fleury was pulled after that goal, and the rest of the second was garbage.

" Dude, I'll give you 20 bucks if you let us score a goal. "

If you didn't watch the third period, it's easy to re-create those 20 minutes: Go stare at a wall and have someone crap on your bed.

Crosby assisted on a Malkin goal semi-early in the third to pump everyone up. Right there, you know the Pens possessed the firepower to come back. You felt good until the Blues came into the zone with the puck and you realized the Pens couldn't give up any more goals.
Billy Guerin scored a little more than a minute after Malkin did to make it 4-1.
That was it.

Stats

• Crosby: 1 A
• Malkin: 1 G
• Fleury: 3 GA on 12 shots
• Thibault: Nice performance in relief duty.
  
• Shots: 26 apiece
  
• Powerplay: STL ( 0 for 3 ) PENS ( 1 -8 )
  

Miscellaneous

• That Isle of Capri chant with 5 minutes left in the third was glorious.
• There's really nothing to mention about this game...other than it seems like it took place in an alternate universe.
• If we're 1 or 2 points out of a playoff spot this year, it's gonna be torture to look back on this game.
• We hate to lose, but the Blues have been the Western Conference version of the Pens. I'm not saying we should be happy that they won tonight, but we know what it feels like.
  

..............................

NHL RECAP

Since the Pens game left us thirsting for NHL action, we've thrown in a tiny NHL recap.
Only a couple links because the games aren't finished.

Montreal went into Buffalo and left with a 5-2 win. The Habs are tough.
I'm glad I own a Montreal Canadiens t-shirt...just so I can jump on their bandwagon in the playoffs. That's allowed if your team doesn't make it.

Tampa Bay beats Washington 5-4 tonight. Kris Beech scores for Washington.

Carolina helps out...no one, really...by beating Philly 2-1.

The Islanders beat the Rangers 4-3. Jason Blake with a hat trick, Jagr with two goals.

Atlanta and New Jersey are tied at 3 late. If both the Rangers and Devils lose in regulation tonight, it would really take the sting off this Blues loss.

There are three Western Conference games that no one cares about unless you care about them.

Florida is owning Toronto 6-1 with a little bit of time left in the game.

And, finally, The Pensblog Curse aimed toward Dany Heatley has spread to the entire Ottawa Senators team. They get crushed by the Bruins tonight.

Dany Heatley drives to the net.

...award the slot license for...

We have been up.
We have been down.
Our stomachs in knots.
Our heads throbbing.
Our hearts pounding.

And here we are. All from different walks. All with different opinions. But one thing we stand united in: Keep the Pens in Pittsburgh. We have our shot, and here is one last plea to the gaming board:

Select the Isle of Capri Casino application for:

• Mario Lemieux, who has saved the Pens more times then we can count, so that his legacy will never be tarnished.
• For Mellon Arena. The only home Pens fans have ever known. Let it rest in peace, and let its memories live forever.
• For the past. For the two cups. For Badger Bob high in the sky, and even Scotty Bowman, for Herb Brooks, Ivan Hlinka. For Stevie Latin and Skip Trainer. For ol' Craig Patrick, and hell even Howard Baldwin. For Mike Lange, the voice of the Pens forever, and yea Steigy too. For all the players: Tommy Barasso, Kevin Stevens, Ronny Francis, Bob Errey, Phil Borque, Gordie Roberts, and the immortal Jim Paek. For Larry Murphy and his dump. For Paul Stanton, Mark Reechi, John Cullen, Paul Coffey and good old Ulfie. For Bryan Trottier, Randy Gillen, Grant Jennings. For slippery rock Joe Mullen and Jiri Hrdinia. For Kovy, Straka and Lang. And number 68.
  
• Pass it for the memories. Watching Jaromir Jagr dance through the Blackhawks in 1992, and his heroic performance in 1999 against the Devils. For the Flying Nedved's goal in 4ots, and Frankie Peterangelos "Save" against the Devils. For Mario's trip through Ray Borque, his move against the North Stars, and his shot heard round the world in 1992 against the Black Hawks. For Marty Straka's game winner against the Sabres in 2001, and for remembering excatly what you were doing when Kaspar the ghost scored the goal in Game 7.
• For our Fathers and Mothers who got us into the Pens, and let us stay up way late to watch them.
  
• For the Future. For Crosby and Malkin, so that we own the friggin Flyers for years to come.
• For the friends we have and the ones we lost along the way.
• For all the Pens fans who don't want to become Sabres fans.
• For the Pensblog Staff. If the Pens leave, we shut down the blog and become alcoholics.
• For Jon Barbero...the voice of Mellon Arena.
• For Iceburgh and the T-shirts he shoots out of the shirt-gun.
  
• For PAT Bus 61C "Downtown via Oakland".
• For Oh, Canada and the Star Spangled Banner, sung by Jeff Jimmerson, at NHL games. The best scene in sports.
• For fans, all throughout the world. The bandwagoners and fairweathers. The ones who sat and watched through years of bad hockey.
• For the fans that high five the strangers, and jump on each other when someone scores a huge goal.
• For Grandma and her bingo game.
• For our dogs, who when the Pens score, go nuts because we're screaming.
• For all the message boards, Letsgopens.com and Pittsburgh Penguins.com, where the battles are ongoing.
• For the Hill District, so they don't regret it.
• For Bob O'Conner who will never live to see it.
• For Luke Ravenstal who will need it.
• For easy Ed Rendall, so he can shove it.
• For the Pirate fans, so they can watch how its done.
• For the Steeler fans, so they know our nation is just as strong.
• For everyone that has ever watched, or cared.
• And for our Generation. So we never have to worry about our team leaving, and we can finally sit back and enjoy the team we love. The Pittsburgh Penguins.

LET'S GO PENS!

The Island of Dr. Capri

Before we get to the recap, we'd like to share something with you that we hope can become a recurring theme on the Pensblog.
We got an IM today from commenter Tee from Butler, PA.
He is a member of the U.S. Air Force and is stationed in Ramstein, Germany. He is also a graphic design artist. He has started the trend of user-submitted graphics.
It is my desktop wallpaper until someone dethrones him. Thank you, Tee.

Wallpaper Image (1024 X 768 ) | How it looks on the desktop

............................................

Some quick links:

-- Mario Lemieux owns Jim Balsillie.
Mario is irate. Don't cross 66.

--- John Buccigross knocks out a huge column about everything that is going on in Pittsburgh. Haven't had time to read it yet. Thanks to Bake for the link.

--- Canadian brewery owner Frank D'Angelo expresses extreme interest in buying the Pens.
If you don't want to read the article, here is all you need to know:

" We have absolutely no intention of moving the team, " said D'Angelo.

D'Angelo said he and Sherman could finance an arena, if necessary, because one of his products, Steelback beer, would benefit from the rink's naming rights and being able to supply beverages for the facility.

" SteelBack Center "
I kinda like it.

Hell, at this point, I would take " The Homo Center ".




...We might have to fight for those naming rights, though.

-- Our friends at the Dear Trendy Hockey Fan Girls -- Die Facebook group have found a sworn enemy in the RYAN MALONE IS A SEXY BEAST Facebook group. We're definitely gonna keep our eye on that as it unfolds.

...........................................
GAMES

The NHL is slower than John Leclair tonight; only two games.

Versus had the Jackets and Wings... and it wasn't a bad game...Blue Jackets win 4-3
Sergei Fedorov went nuts on his old team. Columbus is 7-4-2 under Ken Hitchcock, but word has it Hitchcock has taken over the post-game buffet:

Ken Hitchcock is known in many circles as the "Buffet Killer".

The Flames and Ducks are up late on the West Coast. Its 1-1 early in the second, but the Ducks will most likely win.

PENS-BLUES
TUESDAY NIGHT
VERSUS - 7:00 PM

NHL Atlantic Treaty Organization

We're gonna take a look around the Atlantic Division, but first...we are proud to bring you the second round of Pensblog Sticker Book Scans. ( Click here for the first round )

1989-90 Calgary Flames -- ( Page 1 ) ( Page 2 ) -- Special request from Pensblog friend Bryan Bell.
1989-90 Montreal Canadiens -- ( Page 1 ) ( Page 2 )
1989-90 New York Islanders -- ( Page 1 ) ( Page 2 )
1989-90 Buffalo Sabres -- ( Page 1 ) ( Page 2 )

Any requests?
..........................

-- Thanks to commenter Seth for giving us this article: Penguins starting to entertain new buyers.

--Tsn.ca's Darren Dreger asks if Therrien should have let Crosby make history in his 6-point performance against Philly.
The Pensblog asks if Darren Dreger would shut up.

Hey it's me Darren Dreger. I make a living by throwing poop on TSN.ca.

-- Jordan Staal makes NHL.com's All-Surprise Team.

-- Could the slots license announcement be delayed?

The last time a slots license announcement was delayed, Jason Voorhees went nuts on people. Just a thought.

...Just pass the license, and let's avoid any mess.

-- Check out the poll from the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette...
As of 9:00pm est, 2,486 votes for the Isle of Capri.
About 150 apiece for the other ones. But public opinion doesn't matter, huh?

.............................

ATLANTIC DIVISION

The Rangers have been red hot, but the Devils smoked them like a (Mark?) Cuban tonight.

Kevin Weekes makes up for his horrid performance by breaking down to Michael Sembello's "Maniac".

As you can see from that awesome .gif image, the Pens are in the thick of the Atlantic Division race. Compared to last year at this time, you have to be pleased with where we're at.

The big news in the Atlantic this week was the Islanders trading defenseman Alexei Zhitnik to the Philadelphia Flyers for a box of Gushers.

Word to the wise: Don't Google image search "gushers" with kids in the room.

Pens play at home on Tuesday against St. Louis and at Atlanta on Thursday.

They don't play on Friday the 22nd, which is good because I'll be checking out my friend (and Pensblog commenter) Andrew's stand-up act at The Improv in Homestead. The show starts at 8:00. $10 gets you in.

Directions | Andrew's MySpace | A Giraffe

....................................

We at the Pensblog are praying that our Christmas present for you guys is ready this week.
If you've been reading the site lately, you probably know what it is.

.................................
Sunday Night Awesomeness:



The look on the guy's face at the :24 mark is gold.

'Cause I'm Easy Like Pensblog Mornin'

Before I head to the original Casa de Pensblog for the Steeler game, I figured I'd throw some things around.

Ice Age on NHL.com wants to know if Sidney Crosby is the best player in the NHL today.
E-mail them at iceage@nhl.com.

Sidney Crosby is the best player in the NHL.
http://www.thepensblog.com

If you wish to copy and paste that message into the e-mail you send, that would be awesome.
.................................................................................

If you feel so inclined, go to ESPN.com and vote for the top 4 lines in NHL history.

http://proxy.espn.go.com/nhl/toplines/vote?lpos=spotlight&lid=tab3pos1

.....................................................

Montreal coach Guy Carbonneau let loose a slip of the tongue when evaluating the Penguins' lineup:

"I don't know if just one line is going to be enough to cover Gretzky and Malkin and those guys."

Wow.

Speaking of which, there's Carbonneau right there.
.....................................................

And, finally...if you live in the province of Ontario, be on the lookout.
The Senators played Saturday night in Buffalo. And they play at home on Tuesday against Boston.
That means Dany is enjoying a Sunday drive in your neck of the woods.

This could be you.

Joe Namath, We Are Not. PENS LOSE.

NHL.com GAME RECAP

Yeah, sorry about that guarantee, Pensblogites. It's obvious that we underestimated Montreal.

And that we know nothing about Penguins hockey and shouldn't be running a Penguins web-log.

A nice start to this game. The Pens came out with some jump. They were drawing penalties like Bob Ross.

He draws pictures, but you get the idea.

After crapping on themselves on their powerplays, the Pens ended up scoring the first goal of the game. Evgeni Malkin scored on a perfectly placed Erik Christensen rebound about 12 minutes into the game. It felt like our guarantee was money in the bank.
Six minutes later, though, Michael Ryder (who sounds like he should be a tennis player) scored for Montreal on a sweet slap shot to tie it up. It looked like the Pens had dominated the first period for nothing.
But never fear. Alain "Sergei Zubov" Nasreddine scored with 0.2 seconds left to send the Pens into the first intermission with the lead.
After that goal, it was all downhill for the Pennies.

The second period was the worst period since the one my girlfriend used as an excuse to break up with me in 11th grade.
Nine minutes in, Alexei Kovalev scored a pretty one-timer goal on the powerplay (recurring theme) to tie the game up.
Okay, fine. 2-2. Nothin' big.

Six minutes after that Kovy goal, Saku Koivu scored an awkward goal to give the Habs the lead.
Two minutes after that, Sheldon Souray finally got one of his rockets on the net, and it found its way past Fleury. When that puck went in, you could sorta feel it was over.
To drive that thought home, Sake Koivu scored again before the end of the second to make it 5-2...and send some people out partyin' to Carson Street a little early.

This looks like a penalty...but probably wasn't called anyway.

The third period was the do-or-die period. And the Pens died.
They pushed excitingly hard, trying to get a goal.
That goal finally came with a little over 5 minutes left. You can't expect two frantic comebacks in one week, right?
The Habs finished off the Pens with an empty-net goal.

Game.

Stats

• Crosby: 1 A
• Malkin: 1 G
• Shots: MON (33) PENS (34)
• Powerplay: MON ( 4 for 7 ) PENS ( 0 for 7 )

Miscellaneous

• What's with the Montreal crowd singing the "na-na-na hey hey goodbye" song at the end of the game? Is this the playoffs? Is this a rivalry? What gives?
• Another spirited effort from Ruutu-Talbot-Thorburn.
• A four-game winning streak gets snapped because we have to travel to Antarctica to play a hockey game. No big whoop.
• Montreal had 4 power play goals tonight. Those obviously killed us.
• What happens if Crosby scores on that shot in the third?
• Balsillie was at the game tonight in Montreal. We Pens fans see him in our sleep.

Epargné par le centre de cloche ?

In the spirit of the pens visit to Montréal we are going to throw more francais around then Muzzy. (Click here to translate it if you want)

Huge game tonight. Pensblog a garanti la victoire. I'd back out, but I don't own Blackberry:

........................

This whole Jim Ball-Silly thing has left everyone just stunned.
Eklund chimes in with this
Letsgopens.com is debating it.
I am on the verge of a mental breakdown. You cannot make this stuff up anymore.
This soap opera has more ups and downs than the Thunderbolt on a warm summer night.

The most underrated roller coaster in America.

.................

Anyway.. sur au jeu ce soir à Montréal..

Tons of Pens returning to canada: Fluery, Bing Croz, Talbot, Staal, Ouellet, Armstrong, Thibault, Moore, Christensen. But guess who else is returning:

Lord Therrien coached the Habs for 3 years his record was (77-77-15)

The Pens won a thrilling game last year in Montreal, and we expect the Pens will be just as jacked up to play today. Should be a good one.

Upper St. Clair Still Sucks. PENS WIN.

NHL.com GAME RECAP

Ryan Malone, the streaky scorer that he is, registered his first career hat trick tonight...but Upper St. Clair still sucks.
Sidney Crosby explodes with another 4 points tonight -- That's 10 points in his last two games.

Bing is causing more damage than the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man right now.

The game started off pretty well. The score shouldn't fool you. The Pens flat-out dominated this hockey game. Ryan Malone began his night by converting on a nice Crosby pass to give the Pens a 1-0 lead. Five minutes later, the Islanders scored the first of three Ouellet goals to tie the game up. In the time it takes for a fart to produce an aroma (roughly 11 seconds), Crosby scored to put the Pens back in the lead.
Four minutes after that, Mark Recchi unleashed a wrist shot that got past a screened Rick DiPietro to send the Pens into the intermission with a 3-1 lead.

In said intermission, Ken Sawyer came out to answer some questions about Jim Balsillie withdrawing his bid to buy the Pens. Here's how it went:

Media: Can you give us vague answers to our questions?
Sawyer: Yes.
Media: Nice.

Intermissions are so nice when the Pens are winning.
Six minutes into the second, Jordan Staal strikes again with a quick shot off a face-off, and the Pens jumped out to a 4-1 lead.
In the time it takes a fart's aroma to dissipate (roughly 30 seconds), the Pens had scored again. Maxime Talbot/Joseph Melichar combine to score a shorthanded goal and the Pens lead 5-1.
Unbelievable. The rest of the second period was a bunch of nothingness, if my memory serves me right.

Malone and Bing patiently waiting for their turn on the Kiss Cam

Nine minutes into the third, Ryan Malone scored a carbon-copy of his first goal to give the Pens a 6-1 lead.
6-1 with 11:15 left in the game.
This victory was as sure as a victory against Muhammad Ali in a game of Operation.

Ha! Not the greatest Operation player, that's for damn sure.

The Islanders, however, decided to make this a hockey game. How did they pull that off? Simple.

THEY SCORED 3 GOALS IN 2 MINUTES, 21 SECONDS

It was now 6-4 with 6:43 left. If you got nervous, you weren't alone.
...Or should I say...Malone...

To finally put the dying Islanders out of their misery, Ryan Malone finished off his hat trick with a goal from the face-off circle with 4:26 left. Sid was doing his magic on the boards for the better part of 15 seconds before hitting Malone on the tape.

The remainder of the game was inconsequential.

Stats

• Crosby: 1 G, 3 A
• Malkin: 1 A
  
• Recchi: 1 G, 3 A
• Malone: Hat-trick
• Shots: NYI (32) PENS (35)
• Powerplay: NYI ( 3 for 6 ) PENS ( 1 for 10 )

Miscellaneous

• Malkin seemingly took advantage of the Super Cuts super shot.
• Ruutu-Talbot-Thorburn. Wow.
• Recchi: 800 assists. Nice.
  
• If you're on the ice with Sidney Crosby, and he passes the puck in your direction...unless it's right on your tape, that pass isn't for you.
• It seems like Malkin is a half-step off for some reason. The naked pictures of Michel Therrien may have had an adverse effect.
• Solid game for Thibault. Big win for his confidence, too.
• As always, I probably missed some things. Please add in the comments. We're nothing without these comments.
  

Pens in Montreal
Saturday night
FSN - 7:00

PENSBLOG IS GUARANTEEING A VICTORY
..................................................................................

Some quick links...ribbed for her pleasure:

• We aren't gonna discuss the Balsillie thing because we have no idea what it could mean. We aren't experts, and speculating would be kinda gay.
• http://www.voteforfleury.com -- If you need a description of what this site is for, then you need help.
• The Pitt Hoops Blog is revved up for Saturday's game: Pitt @ Wisconsin. What time is the game? I guess you gotta go to the blog to find out.

WE HAD AN ALL-TIME HIGH FOR VISITORS ON THE PENSBLOG THIS WEEK.
THANKS, EVERYONE!

The Penguins: 1 - #95 (The Best...and The Worst)

A couple of months ago some jobber on yahoo.com made a list of best players by uniform numbers.
So of course that got us thinking about a Penguins version, and thanks to Pensblog friend Stephanie S., we got our hands on a 2006-07 Penguins Media Guide, which includes every uniform number that has been worn by a Penguin.

So without further teasing, we present the best, the worst, and basically some funny names that have worn Penguins jerseys. And since we are such nice guys, and have an incredible amount off free time on our hands, every player is linked to hockey database.

Enjoy, and if you think a certain player deserves to make the list or if you just think our blog sucks, let us know in the comment section.


Worst player in parentheses

1. Wendell Young and Johan Hedberg (Hank Bassen? love the name Hank)
2. Jim Paek, Chris Tamer (Chris Dahlquist)
3. Grant Jennings (Stefan Bergkvist)
   
4. Kevin Hatcher (we have a Gord Dineen mention)
   
5. Ulf Samuelsson (Brad Werenka, I just vomited on the keyboard)
   
6. Bob Boughner (the running joke Neil Wilkinson)
   
7. Joey Mullen (Rob Buskas)
   
8. Mark Recchi,Rick Kehoe (he was huge) ( Gary Valk, enough said)
   
9. Dan Quinn, Len Barrie, Andy Bathgate ( Andrew McBain?)
   
10. Ron Francis (Ron Duguay, great name)
    
11. John Cullen, Daruis Kasparaitis, had to. (Lasse Pirjeta,Shawn Antoski)
    
12. Bob Errey (Billy Tibbets, and look at this name: Mitch Lamoruex -- does he exist?)
    
13. (Jim Hamilton, Charlie Simmer).. only two to ever wear 13
    
14. Stu Barnes, Jock Callander(gold)..( Chris Kontos)
    
15. Shawn McEachern...(Robert Dome, Dimitri Mironov, really bad, Wayne Primeau)
    
16. Jay Caufield (Jay Caufield, Kris Beech, and the immortal Joe Dziedzic)
    
17. Tomas Sandstrom, one of the Pensblog favorites..(Tom Chorske, Toby Petersen)
    
18. This Hurts, Francois Leroux (Steve Webb)
    
19. Jean Pronovost -- apparently this guy was money. (Rico Fata)
    
20. Robert Lang, Luc Robitaille. ( Roman Oksiuta)
    
21. Michel Briere
22. Rick Tocchet, Paul Stanton (Sven Butenschon)
    
23. Kjell Samuelsson (Steve McKenna)
    
24. Troy Loney, Ian Moran (Bob Paradise -- best name ever)
    
25. Kevin Stevens (Alex Stojanov)
    
26. Syl Apps (Landon Wilson)
    
27. Alexei Kovalev (Jim Morrison - Number 27, too. That's bizarre.)
    
28. Gordie Roberts (Jeff Christian, Craig Muni)
    
29. Phil Bourque (Krzysztof Oliwa)
    
30. Les Binkley (Jean Sebastien Aubin)
    
31. Ken Wregget (Rich Tabaracci, Rich Parent)
    
32. Peter Taglianetti (the lovable Dick Tarnstrom)
    
33. Jim Mckenzie, Zarley Zalapski (Alex Hicks)
    
34. Scott Young (Ted Nolan -- yeah, that Ted Nolan)
    
35. Tom Barrasso (Darren Lowe)
    
36. Matthew Barnaby (Brad Lauer)
    
37. Kip Miller (Micah Samuelsson, Ryan Vandenbussche)
    
38. Jiri Hrdina (Jan Hrdina)
    
39. Mike Needham (Joel Bouchard)
    
40. Frank Pietrangelo (Patrick Lalime)
    
41. Shane Endicott (Shane Endicott)
    
42. Tuomas Gronman (only Penguin to ever wear 42)
    
43. Jeff Daniels (Thomas Surovy)
    
44. Rob Brown (Drake Berehowsky)
    
45. Mike Needham (Playoffs only)
    
46. Pavel Skrbek (Pavel Skrbek)
    
47. Maxim Galanov, horrid
    
48. Jeff Serowik (Jeff Serowik)
    
49. Greg Andrusak, great player... well not really.
    
50. Martin Brochu
    
51. David Roche
    
52. Rusty Fitzgerald
    
53. n/a
    
54. Greg Hawgood
    
55. Larry Murphy
    
56. Sergei Zubov
    
57. Chris Ferraro of the Ferraro twins
    
58. nope
    
59. nope
    
60. nope
    
61. nope
    
62. nope
    
63. nope
    
64. nope
    
65. nope
    
66. Mario Lemieux
    
67. nope
    
68. Jaromir Jagr
    
69. nope
    
70. nope
    
71. Evgeni Malkin, Jiri Slegr
    
72. Eric Meloche
    
73. nope
74. nope
75. nope
76. Richard Park
    
77. Paul Coffey
    
78. nope
79. nope
80. nope
81. nope
82. Martin Straka
    
83. nope
84. nope
85. Petr Klima
    
86. nope
87. Sidney Crosby
    
88. nope
89. nope
    
90. nope
    
91. nope
    
92. Rick Tocchet
    
93. Petr Nedved
    
94. nope
    
95. Aleksey Morozov

Being For The Benefit of Mr. Bettman!

" Just imagine if he didn't miss 3 games with that injury......he could have a 10-point lead over Jagr. "
--- Anonymous Pensblog commenter

We gotta do some quick housekeeping before we get to the links and the recap.

With no help from our senior graphic-design artist Gabe (who is busy finishing up school), Chris and I proudly bring you the new picture up top.

First off, the Penguins 1991 and 1992 playoff goals tape that you've been hearing about on the Pensblog is now in the hands of a trusted friend who is currently copying it into an .mpeg file. We are shooting for the world premiere to be some time next week, but it probably won't happen that soon because something always goes wrong.

We're also working feverishly on some other things that we're pumped about.

We don't have girlfriends, and we don't have lives. This is what we do.

.............................................

Music to our eyes

--- Bing took some time off from recording a version of "Little Drummer Boy" with David Bowie to leapfrog to the top of the NHL scoring race.
Speaking of Sidney's points outburst...Mark Recchi and Michel Therrien are lovin' it.

--- Changing gears on our ten-speed to look cool, we caught wind of Jeremy Roenick-gate down in GretzkyLand. Apparently, he left during a game and went to a restaurant to eat dinner. He was scratched, but he felt that he could play.

"I don't think there is anything wrong with going and having a nice dinner, having a beer and watching the hockey game."

----- Jeremy Roenick

Janet Gretzky can't hear you, Jeremy. She has poker chips in her ears.

--- He gets scratched and leaves the rink? John LeClair wouldn't do that. Oh, he doesn't have that choice anymore; LeClair and the Pens went their separate ways today, a la Journey.

--- YouTube and NHL team up. Excellent.

--- JimmyBalls meets with the gaming board in Harrisburg.

The Million Dollar Man Ted Dibiase supports Plan B.
Look at that belt.

...........................................

A nice amount of games in the NHL tonight.

-- Ottawa goes to Tennessee...only to get annihilated 6-0 by the Predators in Nashville.
Dany Heatley was held scoreless. The Pensblog Curse is weighing down on him as expected.

Dany Heatley's favorite Beatles song

-- The Bruins help out the world by beating the Devils 5-3. The Devils' backup goalie Scott Clemmensen gets a rare start...and a loss.
I bet you that if you scour the rosters of pro and college football teams, there is a backup quarterback named Scott Clemmensen somewhere.

-- Buffalo is ridiculous. They win again, 2-1 against the Panthers.

-- The Pens' Saturday opponent, Montreal, beat the Lightning tonight 4-2.
Tonight's game was the 76th consecutive sell-out for the Montreal Canadiens -- yeah 'cause the only other thing to do in Canada is drink coffee at Tim Hortons.

If restaurants in Canada were words in the English language, Tim Hortons would be "the".

-- In some West Coast games:

• Los Angeles is up 2-0 on San Jose in the second period.
  
• Calgary and Vancouver are tied 1-1 halfway through.
• Minnesota and Edmonton are tied 1-1 late.
• And finally, in the battle of the last kids standing in a Special Olympics dodge-ball game, Columbus and the Roenick-less Coyotes are tied 4-4 late.

PENS - ISLES
FRIDAY NIGHT
FSN - 7:30

Huge game as always.
.......................................

To go with our Abbey Road theme...
Check this out:

Bing Goes Nuts. PENS WIN.

NHL.com GAME RECAP

The Pens certainly have the Flyers number this year. Five games...five wins against Philly this year. The Pens have now won three straight games after losing the previous four.
The Pens poured it on tonight while scoring more than Father Stanley at summer camp.


This game belonged to the Pens right from the beginning. We were discussing how much we liked Thorburn. Next thing you know, Ruutu brings it into the zone and feeds a drop-pass to Thorbie, and aided by a delicious screen by Jarrko, gets it past goalie Nittymaki to get the scoring off to a resounding start. 59 seconds later, The Sidney Crosby show began.

Sidney went down behind the net, came back out and just fed a backhand pass towards the goal. It ended up hitting of a Flyer's skate and in it went. 2-0 Pens. Yesss. This is going to be great. They're gonna blow them out and it's gon---Flyers score a fluke goal to make it 2-1.
Less than four minutes after that Philly goal, they end up scoring another one on a shot from in the slot to tie the game. It was really devastating at the time.
With about seven minutes left in the first, however, Sergei Gonchar (A: Crosby) scored a slap-shot powerplay goal after finally succumbing to the cascading shouts of "SHOOT" coming from Jurassic Park game warden Robert Muldoon in the F section.

"Shoot her! SHOOOOOOOT HER-R-R!"

The Pens went into the second period up 3-2 and never looked back. Six minutes into the second, Ryan the Magnificent finally got on the board (A: Crosby) this season with an Ouellet goal to make it 4-2. Not too long after, Crosby literally stole the puck from a Flyer in the neutral zone, swooped down into the zone, went behind the net and out the other side, and fed Gonchar in the slot. Gonchar wristed it past Nittymaki, and it was 5-2. That was it for Nittymaki. No, it wasn't. Yes, it was. No, it wasn't.
Backup goalie Houle came in to spell Nittymaki. While he was in net, he decided to join the club and let a puck get past him. Mark Recchi jobbed in a rebound (A: Crosby) to jump the lead up to 6-2.
Goalie Houle left, and Nittymaki came back in to close out the second period.

Maxime Talbot found time to play The Outfield's "Your Love" on air guitar in the third period.

If the third period was going to be interesting, the Flyers had to score early. And they did. On one of the best plays of the night, Kyle Calder took the puck from Umberger on a 2-on-1 and turned Fleury into a woman.
This upset the Pens. A minute later, Michel Ouellet received a pass near the goal line and beat Nittymaki to make it 7-3 (A: Crosby) .
Then two minutes after that, Mike Knuble scored for the Flyers to make it 7-4. After that Capitals game the other night, I didn't know what to think.
We threw the New Jersey Devil clamp onto the neutral zone, though, and ran out the rest of the clock. Well, a nice 7-3 victory over the Flyers.

Oh, wait. Jordan Staal grabs the puck, embarrasses a Flyers defenseman, walks in, and beats Nittymaki with 7 seconds left to score (shorthanded again) the most meaningless goal in the NHL since Larry Murphy scored the eighth goal against Jon Casey in 1991.

Game.

Stats

• Crosby: 1 G, 5 A (Sole possession of first place in points)
  
• Gonchar: 2 G, 3 A
• Malone: 1 G, 3 A
• Malkin: A puzzling zero points and 1 shot on goal
• Shots: PHI (29) PENS (23)
• Powerplay: PHI ( 0 for 3 ) PENS ( 3 for 9 )

Miscellaneous

• Is it disturbing to anyone else that the Flyers' best scoring chances came when they were shorthanded?
• Philly's Todd Fedoruk was everywhere tonight. He was starting scrums between the periods, he was scoring goals, and he was rocking the bantam hockey cage.
• Brooks Orpik delivered the biggest hit Umberger has received since this one in the playoffs last year.
• To silence us Pensblog commenters once and for all, FSN showed Recchi participating in the rally cap ritual.
• What a night for the Ruutu-Talbot-Thorburn line.
• I'm probably missing a few things, and that definitely leaves the door open for the commenters. I'm not putting pressure on you, but I know I missed some things.

........................
For your viewing enjoyment....
A nice Pens win.
You're feeling good.
Look at this mullet.


These pictures were shot clandestinely on my school bus in 10th grade.

Unbelievable.

The Chronicles of The NHL: The Goalie, the Winger and the Uniform

We missed our deadline by an hour. Never listen to us.

Huge night in the NHL tonight, but as usual, here are some links to ponder.

Saw this on Mondesi's House today:
Mellon Arena ranked 8th worst arena in sports by Maxim Magazine

As you can imagine, we have a huge problem with this. We won't get that upset, though, because taking Maxim Magazine's opinion on anything but half-naked women is like taking flying lessons from John Denver.

"No thanks, John. We'll sit this one out."

Moving on:

Some jobber for ESPN writes about the pink sports fashion trend...

Thanks ESPN...should've did it last month when it was still fresh.

Big ups to our boys from the Pittsburgh Sports Insider blog for some linkage..

........................................................

On to the games:

The Ducks win again...when do playoff tickets go on sale?

Senators beat the Red Wings: Ray Emery made an unreal save in this game; if I wasn't so lazy, I'd link you to it.

Dany Heatley didn't score tonight. Hope everyone is buckled up in the Ottawa Area.

The Blackhawks beat the St. Louis Blues. We know nothing about this game or these teams. We spent way too much time thinking of something to put here. So, we're putting nothing.

The Predators over the Oilers 3-2...

Watched the highlights of this game; very good hockey. Paul Kariya with your game-winner.

The Blue Jackets are on fire -- 6-3-0 since Ken "Earthquake" Hitchcock took over...

Picture: Ken Hitchcock imposing his will on a security guard at Nationwide Arena in Columbus

The Flames win 5-2 over the wild.
Calgary's favorite sons have won 10 straight at home.

The New Jersey Devils got New Jersey Deviled by the Buffalo Sabres tonight. Buffalo had the lead and systematically shut the Devils down. It felt great watching that. The final score was 3-2...with the Devils scoring jobber goals in the last two minutes of the game.

Good news and bad news, then good news again: The Flyers played tonight, which means Wendesday night's game against the Pens will be the second game of a back-to-back. The bad news is that the Rangers won 3-1 tonight. The other good news is that Derian Hatcher leveled Jaromir Jagr with a forearm shiver in tonight's game.

Up north, in the land of Terrence and Philip, Toronto beat Tampa Bay 5-4 by coming back from a 3-1 deficit.
Also, the Habs beat the Bruins 4-3.

They finally make an appearance on The Pensblog.

In the late games, Vancouver is defecating on the Coyotes, leading 5-1 in the second period.
...San Jose is up 1-0 on Los Angeles in a game that only bloggers who are up till one 1:00 in the morning care about.

And in some related news, thanks to Wes for this...( well not thanks because it got me all worked up)

Isle of Capri extends Olive Branch to Hill..

Jake Wheatley your thoughts:

• "The Isle of Capri is using this as nothing more than a smoke-screen, a facade," said Mr. Wheatley

• "I see this as another sign of being disrespectful of the Hill and as another slap in the face of Hill residents," said Mr. Wheatley.

Of course I want the Arena for the Pens, but running a close second in the reasoning department is that I want to see Jake Wheatley flip out.



GO PENS
PENS-JAGOFFS
FSN - 7:30

Oh man. PENS WIN.

NHL.com GAME RECAP

"I almost went to sleep."

That quote sums up the first 26 minutes of this hockey game. Nothing is more disheartening than not getting off work until 7:20, racing to your car to turn the radio on...and hear the Penguins are already down 2-0. It was a long drive back into Oakland.

Five minutes into the game, Jaromir Beech scored a powerplay goal to give the Capilitos a 1-0 lead. Not to be outdone, Chris Clark (no relation to Dick Clark) scored 46 seconds later and the Pens were down 2-0 that fast. Holy crap.

Hey, it's me Dick Clark. My family let me humiliate myself on New Year's Eve 2004.
I'm not an ass, but that 2004 New Year's Celebration was the most awkward thing I've ever watched...
and I've watched my grandmothers make out.

After making some toaster strudels for dinner, the second period commenced. It only took three minutes for Chris Clark to score again for the Caps. It was 3-0, and it occurred to me then that the Pens would have to score four goals tonight to win. As I was putting the proverbial period at the end of that sentence in my head, Brooks Laich scored a shorthanded goal for Washington. That name sounds made up.

But, hold the phone. Just when I started praying Alexander Semin would score just so I could make Semin jokes in the recap, Maxime Talbot beats Olaf Kolzig to make it 4-1. The riveting Versus announcers made it abundantly clear with their call of the goal: "...yeah, I have a pet monkey and it likes to thr -- Hey, Penguins scored. Who is that -- Tallbott? The Penguins score...wow. Hey, was Crosby on the ice? Crosby wasn't on the ice, but I bet he had something to do with that goal. Crosby is amazing. Him and Ovechkin are two young stars in this league."

That was only seven minutes into the second period. The Penguins had to weather more storms than New Orleans for the rest of the second...with Fleury making some big saves.
With less than two minutes left in the second, Erik Christensen (cough cough) snapped a shot past Ollie to make it 4-2. Oh, hey. The third period might be all right.
35 seconds later, Malkin gets the puck to the slot where Crosby is waiting to put it into the net.
Wow. 4-3 going into the third.

About three minutes into the third, an excellent shift by Malkin, Crosby, and Ryan Malone is awarded with a huge goal by the "game-breaker". Malkin's play has elevated dramatically in the last few games. Therrien, who showed Malkin naked pictures of himself in a recent conversation with the young star in order to motivate Malkin, has to be pleased.

Wooooo. We won. I can't wait to go to The Pensblog and see who they took an inappropriate cheap shot at today.

The rest of third period consisted of Versus commentators talking about Ovechkin and Crosby.
Reading the box score after the game, I realized that there were other players that played in the game tonight.
Pens had to survive a couple penalty kills in the third period and overtime.

Malkin gets called for a vicious elbow late in the third.

An uneventful overtime period brought the game into a shootout.
With the Pens donning rally caps, the shootout began with Christensen (ah-choo!) scoring on the first shot. A jobber defenseman came down for the Caps and Fleury robbed him like a chicken.

Crosby came down the ice and took a dump in the crease. Ovechkin responded with a goal.
Malkin came down, and with the brass of a riverboat gambler, deked Kolzig out of his pants. His wife is gonna divorce him after embarrassing his family like that.

Dick Clark makes another appearance as the final shootout participant. He aims for Fleury's catching glove and hits it. Game.

Stats

• Crosby: 1 G, 1 A
• Malkin: 1 G, 1 A
• Dick Clark: 3 Points
  
• Shots: WSH (33) PENS (35)
• Powerplay: WSH ( 1 for 6 ) PENS ( 0 for 2 )
• Toaster Strudels: 3

Miscellaneous

• Paul Simon said it best about Olaf Kolzig: "Still Owning You After All These Years"
• If the Versus guy would have said "stick-to-itiveness" one more time, I don't even know.
  
• I don't think I missed it, but these guys fellatiaze all over Crosby and Ovechkin all game...and don't even mention the prospect of them playing on the same line in the All-Star Game?
• Haha. Just turned to ESPN for Sportscenter and forgot there was football on tonight.
• Brooks Orpik turned the game around tonight. He left the game after delivering a bone-jarring hit. Did the game change due to his huge hit? Or simply because he left the game? Hmmm.
• Did you see Semin get splattered all over the glass with that huge hit in the second period?.............I couldn't resist.

BIG GAME AGAINST THE JAGOFFS ON WEDNESDAY.
EVERY GAME'S BIG, BABY.

Jagged Little NHL

" All right, it's Sunday Night. Where are you?
Just kickin' back from the things that you do. "

-- Pink's Sunday Night Football intro

" A football fan knows the anticipation of waiting all day for the big game. When you hear this song on Sunday nights you'll know the big game is about to kick off. ... We chose Pink as the signature voice because she is a tremendous talent with a crossover appeal that makes her relevant to all segments of our audience. "

-- NFL on NBC producer Fred Gaudelli

YOU MISSED THE BOAT ON THAT ONE, FRED.

DID HELEN KELLER COME UP WITH THOSE LYRICS?

YESSSSSSSSSSS

..................................................

We're getting sick of the Atlantic Division, so we're gonna rock an NHL recap.

Who's the hottest team in the NHL right now?
Excluding Anaheim: We're giving the nod to the Edmonton Oilers, who have gone 7-2-1 in their last ten games to earn a share of first place in the Northwest Division.

Who's the saddest team in the NHL right now?
Columbus is starting to make some strides; can't choose them. Philadelphia is always in the running, but we have to give the award the St. Louis Blues.

What's even sadder?
We had to consider the Penguins when contemplating that question.

.............................................................

Anaheim is a disgusting 23-3-6 this year. 52 points.

Jagr is leading the league with 43 points.

Crosby is a nose hair behind him with 39 points.

In 21 games this year, Dominick Hasek has a 1.84 GAA. We went to the Detroit-Pens game this year; they are the Devils of the Western Conference.

You wouldn't think it, but Montreal has the third-best powerplay in the NHL ( 21.8 % ).

Ovechkin has bounced back from his bad start and is tied for third in goals (18) with Dany Heatley.

Make sure you pick up Dany Heatley's new video game in time for the Holidays

Evgeni Malkin is starting to pull away from Anze Kopitar, in terms of points scored.
If we have some fun with math, and give Malkin an extra 5 points for the four games he missed at the beginning of the year, Malkin would have 33 points and would be tied for 18th in the NHL.

Philadelphia's Kyle Calder has played 26 games and is a minus-20.

In case you were wondering why Yanic Perreault's name was mentioned in the Pens' post-lockout shopping spree: His 60.3% in the face-off circle is first in the NHL.

Speaking about rumored Penguins (at least on message boards), the Chicago Blackhawks signed winger Peter Bondra to a US $500,000, one-year deal.

Chicago is ranked 27th in goals for with 67... Buffalo leads the new NHL with 115 goals scored.

...In some somber NHL news, give this article a quick read...

...........................................

Monday Night Hockey on Versus

PENS @ CAPS - 7:00

Good Times on the Thrashers Message Board

After reading a few of the comments about the Thrashers announcers, we decided to jump onto the AtlantaThrashers.com Message Board and see what their fans think about them.

We documented our adventures:

" I just moved from ATL from pitt and let me say Pitt has some of the worst baseball/hockey fans I have ever seen. Everyone up here hates the PENS until they make the playoffs, its sad to hear them say they are the best sports fans in the US, when the only team they support is the Steelers and this year they dont give a **** about them. "

-- Anonymous

Some guy named "Thrashers 8771" (not us) went on there during the game just to make some people mad...here

Here is the topic we started at like 3:20 Sunday afternoon.

Oh, wait. Now I feel like a turd because I didn't scroll down on their board and see that they were talking about commentators in another thread:

Im so freakin sick of watchin our games on Sports South with darren elliot and jp dellicamera (sp). they freakin suck, tonights game was like watching the pittsburg local station showin the game. now i know that elliot is trying not to bias but come on, all they freakin talked about was malkin and crosby, yes they are good, but how can you sit there and say vote for hossa and kovy two or three times during a broadcast but spend sooooooooooooo much time kissing crosby and malkins butts!!! i mean for crap sakes support your team or get the heck outta my freaking town. i wish that billy jaffe had gotten that job instead of elliot, he was atleast a thrashers fan. example, in tonights broadcast at the point where the penguins got the goalie interference penalty elliot said that the penguins player was looking at the ref saying " hey what about this number 5 guy,,,uh uh vishnevski, um um i mean mcarthy" hows bout you learn our players names. i have NHL center ice, and all the other games i watch the commentators are actual fans of the team, they complain about bad calls they freak out when their team scores and so on, why is atlanta the complete opposite. im sooooooooooo sick of listening to elliot preach how great the other team is we are playing nightly. yes i want the big names to come to atlanta and play, yes they should be recognized as good players, but you know what i know all this and i dont need to be told over and over and over and over again by dellacamera and the other douche....im just going to start watching our games in mute.

-- Anonymous Message Boarder
I have neither the time nor the patience to proofread that "paragraph".

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. PENS WIN.

NHL.com GAME RECAP
No more ESPN. They're title for the recap tonight:
"Penguins snap skid with OT win over sluggish Thrashers"
Plus, ESPN.com has too much crap going on with their website.

Hallelujah. Hallelujah. Hallelujah - Hallelujah. Hall-Lay-Lou-Yah.

Aside from the 8-2 Flyers game earlier this season, this game was easily the best game of the year for the Pens. What a win. Steigerwald mentioned how the Thrashers were coming off a road trip and weren't ready for it, blah blah blah. That had a little to do with it, but the Thrashers were coming on strong the entire game, and the Pens simply outplayed them tonight. Huge.

The first period began with the Penguins flying up and down the ice. Right from that first shift, you could tell they were going to be a different team tonight and that this was going to be a great game to watch.
The Pens were pounding Kari Lehtonen with shots in the first period. With about six minutes left in the first, and the powerplay winding down, Sidney Crosby walked in and rang one of the post and in to give the Pens another 1-0 lead. Four minutes after that, though, the Penguins' dominating performance in the first was crapped on by Shane Hnidy, who scored a shorthanded goal to tie the game up. Weird play by Fleury on that goal.

The second period was the same brand of hockey. Great action. The only goal of the second came when the Pens capitalized on a powerplay. Bob Errey mentioned that one of Atlanta's penalty killers not having a stick would eventually work to the Pens' benefit. Malkin sharked into the slot and one-timed a pass from Bing past Lehtonen. 2-1 Pens going into the third. I didn't feel safe at all; not after what happened in New York the other night.

My fears were justified a mere 16 seconds into the third when Marian Hossa beat Fleury on a jobber goal to tie it up. Never fear, though.
Seven minutes later, Ryan Whitney shows why selling him for cattle would be a bad idea. Fed a sexy pass from Malkin, Whitney slammed a puck in from the slot to give the Pens a 3-2 lead.
Still didn't feel comfortable, though.

Get a room.

Fears justified again when Niko Kapanen scores for Atlanta with five minutes left to tie it up.
That wasn't really a kick in the genitalia because you half-expected it anyway. Joey Melichar induced heart attacks when he gave Atlanta a gift-faceoff in the Pens zone with 10 seconds left, but the Pennies persevered, and the game slipt into overtime.

Atlanta had one good scoring chance in overtime when Hossa came in on the right wing and threw a pass into the slot. I was watching Fleury on the play, and he was going to be out of position if that pass would have connected cleanly. If that goes in, I throw my Nintendo Wii remote into my TV and hate my life as I vomit on my keyboard while typing the recap.

Luckily, though, the Pens were able to pull this one out.
Malkin stepped up to the recent semi-criticism from Coach Therrien.

He made a nice play to chip the puck away from an Atlanta defensemen, and with the brass of a riverboat gambler, drove to the net. He quasi-interfered with Lehtonen, and Colby grabbed the rebound and threw it home. Waiting to see if the ref is pointing at the puck or waving it off is the hockey equivalent of not cheering a big touchdown because you're afraid there's a flag on the play.
Goal. Pens win.


Stats:

• Crosby: 1 G, 1 A
• Malkin: 1 G, 2 A
• Fleury: 20 saves
• Shots: ATL (23) PENS (43) *********
• Powerplay: ATL (1 for 6) PENS (2 for 4)
• Faceoffs: Pens win 29-26

Miscellaneous

• As stated before, this was easily the best game of the year for the Pens.
• Bob Errey: "Hey, Wow. Look at how many options the Pens have on the powerplay when they have right-handed Micki DuPont out there." -- If Bob Errey can realize that, and a couple of homos running a Penguins blog can see that, then Ray Shero and Therrien can see it, too.
• Danny Po introduced John Cullen as one of the all-time Penguins greats. (262 games...272 points...). Steigerwald was right when he said that Cullen was a very important part of the Pens Cup team in '91 even though he was traded at the deadline that year.
  
• Did Ilya Kovalchuk play tonight? He had his own post on the Pensblog last night; that makes him the first victim of the vaunted Pensblog Curse.
• After the game, Colby mentioned that, because the Pens won tonight, they could "listen to music in the locker room again". Did Therrien shut down BOB FM because the Pens were losing?
• Watching the Fleury interview after the game, he looks like he wants to laugh all the time. You can see his eyes moving back and forth when he's talking; like he's thinking of funny stuff that he can't say on TV.
  
• Anyone see the dude playing with himself behind Bob Hartley?
• No Pun Intended bloggerette Elly predicted the Pens' 4-3 OT win tonight.
  

HUGE WIN.

Ilya Kovalchuk...

Pens play Kovalchuk and the Thrashers on Saturday night in Atlanta.
I have no idea why, but I have a feeling the Pens will win.

To refresh some people's memories:

This whole Kovalchuk thing started last year when, with the Thrashers already up 4-0, Crosby slashed Kovalchuk and got a penalty for it.
On the ensuing powerplay, this happened:

With the brass of a riverboat gambler, Kovalchuk had this to say about Crosby:

"He takes those stupid penalties all the time. He's an 18 year old kid, and he can't play like this. He starts yapping about his teammates in the newspapers ... I don't know, he should play really hard on the ice and keep it at that."

Sidney Crosby...what's your always media-friendly response?

I'm not a fighter. I'm not going to go out there and drop the gloves with him. He's a skilled guy, and he's a great player. I respect him as a player, but that's as far as I'll go."

...........................................

Hopefully, The Moose is starting in goal for Atlanta Saturday night. Hedberg didn't leave here on bad terms and is still one of my favorite former Penguins (up there with the likes of Ian Moran, Andrew Ference, and Marty Straka).

And, finally, we have heard from numerous sources that the Pens are upgrading their blue-line corps.

TRADE

Ryan Whitney to
Los Angeles Kings for

Rugged Blades of Steel Defenseman

Pittsburgh Wood. (This Penguin Has Flown)

Lets just say if the Penguins were the Oregon Trail right now, things wouldn't be on the up and up:

Ryan Whitney was sold for cattle
.................................................................

But hey, no one said this was going to be easy. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't disgusted with last night's game, but oh well.

Moving on: Look at what I said about Brendan Shanahan before the season started in a post I made about Linda Cohn...Here

"Next up. Brendan Shanahan I really don't even want to respond to this. Who the hell cares about him. He's old, and he isn't even the best player on the team. Rangers go as far as Jagr goes."
-Derek
-Sept 23

I could not have been more wrong. 32 points later and I realize that this may be the biggest mistake I have made since I stopped watching David the Gnome.

When you talk about great problem solvers in our generation, you talk about David the Gnome.

Speaking of problem solvers...Ray Shero takes a pee on the President of Hockey Canada Bob Nicholson's parade by not letting Jordan Staal play on team Canada in the World Championships in Sweden.

Yeah, sorry. Jordan probably forgets what it feels like to win, anyways.

.........................................................

If you're looking for nothing to get hung about on this cold-as-balls Friday, Montreal beat the Islanders last night in regulation.

I read the news today, oh boy....
about how the Penguins have only won 4 of their last 17.

Very Poopy. Pens LOSE.

ESPN GAME RECAP

I am sick after watching this game. Physically ill.

Remembering the preseason expectations for the Pens this year always keeps me from throwing my left shoe through the television. It would cause serious damage, too, because my left shoe is pretty much the same size as my TV.

I didn't catch the first and second periods because I was stuck on the parking lot known as Interstate 79. Brutal traffic in the Pittsburgh area tonight.

From what I heard on the radio, it was a very physical game tonight. The Pens were killing penalties left and right early on.
Nils Ekman received an enema on a breakaway in the first period, which led to a penalty shot that he converted on. Some sicko saves by Fleury tonight, too.

Yeah, that's right.

Don't know much about the second period other than Crosby's coast-to-coast goal that gave the Penguins a seemingly comfortable 2-0 lead going into the third period.

Going into the third period, how could you not feel at ease with the game situation?
The Pens had basically run the show for the first two periods and were still doing it in the first part of the third. The boos were raining down from the cheap seats at the Garden as everything was going the Penguins way.
The Penguins got awarded a powerplay and that was the beginning of the end...for the Pens.

The Rangers scored a shorthanded goal on a deflection to make it 2-1.
After that goal, I farted and touched myself...and all of a sudden, Shanahan broke the sound barrier with a slapshot that got past Fleury to tie the game up.

The rest of the third period was very interesting hockey. The referees stopped calling penalties, and the game became roller derby on ice. Fleury made some key saves to (earn?) at least a point for the Pens.

The overtime period was all right, nothing to write home about or write on a blog about.

The shootout lineups were Malkin, Ekman, Crosby.
Shanahan, Matt Cullen, and probably Darius Kasparaitis.

Malkin came in and was stopped.
Shanahan came in after that and scored the only goal the Rangers needed.
The Pensblog has been forced to eat our words all year when it comes to Brendan Shanahan.

COHNED.

Stats

• Crosby: 1 G
• Fleury: 1 A
• Shots: NYR (22) PENS (30)
• Powerplay: NYR (1 for 6) PENS (1 for 3)

Miscellaneous

• Micki DuPont looks like he belongs in the NHL. That might be a biased statement simply because he is right-handed.
• What happened to all that "game-breaker" talk that surrounded Malkin before he came here?
• When Sidney Crosby is possessed...and you still can't win...some changes have to be made.
• Someone's gotta teach Fleury a new shoot-out move. The poke check is gay.
• Orpik was laying everyone out tonight.
• I applaud Malone for his hit on Jagr.
• Speaking of which, Ryan Malone kinds looks like a different player after his injury.
• Did I miss anything?
  

Back to Basics (Ain't No Other Pen)

Career Path: Teen-bop star...to sex slave...to hooker...to classy lady.

Derek will be taking this post to the finish line, but I saw his title for the post and remembered seeing Christina Aguilera on SNL a little bit ago. The only reason I downloaded the song was because of how she owned the performance I saw.

You can watch it here.

Penguins off-day. Figured we could throw something entertaining your way.
All right, that's it from me.
.................................

Slow night in Pensblog Land, as evidenced by a Christina Aguilera reference from Adam.

And what better time to catch up...and get back to some nice little game recaps and links from around the NHL.

Before we start with that, we must rewind a couple days and recognize the controversy surrounding Wheatley-gate.
Thank you to everyone for the feedback on the Jake Wheatley letter. Crazy stuff.
The Pensblog makes no apologies for the letter, but we no question could have done the letter a little more tastefully.
But maturity isn't one of our better traits...actually, it's not even one of our traits, period.
Mr. Wheatley and the Nation of Domination did respond to us....check it out in the comments section of that post: here.(scroll down in the comment section of post:titled "pensblog burning" We didn't want to post the whole thing because we were not sure if it was a form letter or not.)

Brett "The Hit Man" Commenter hooked us up with this pic of Representative Wheatley in his younger days.

So, now the ball is in our court. The e-mail has the automated-response feel to it, but the generic message title in our inbox told us otherwise. We're not sure. But instead of writing back too quickly, leave us some comments and some advice on what to say back to Mr. Wheatley, and we will all work together to get it done. What is it going to accomplish? Probably nothing, but hey, we have nothing to lose. (or do)

Speaking of Isle of Capri, I am sick of it. Look at these 3 things.

• Isle of Capri: The front runner for the slots.
• E.J. Hradek: The Pens are gold; they are staying
• Darren Dreger: The Pens should pack their bags for Kitchener/Waterloo

Tony from the Confluence Blog goes nuts on Dreger.
Can't say I blame him.
It is a miracle that Pens fans aren't completely despondent. Should we trust Jim Balsillie? Should we trust the politicians? Should we trust Mario? Should we trust each other?

All this and more will be answered on the next episode of My So-Called Life:

If you don't think this show was about the Penguins quest to get a new arena, you're wrong. Dead wrong.

......................................

In other news, I called Mark Madden today at about 6:15 and asked him about Therrien getting fired...
Madden said he thought his job was in question going into the Florida game, but referenced a caller earlier in the show that said the Pens shouldn't fire him because that would be too much like Edzo.

Tough call on this subject. Pens Message Board Nation seems split on this, too. I would be stunned if they fire MT. One reason they won't fire him? I think he would go Schwarzenegger on Pittsburgh.

Runnn...GOOOOOO!
Get to the Hill District!

CLICK ME FOR EXCLUSIVE THERRIEN QUOTE FROM MOVIE

....................................

So, let's go around the NHL...

---After watching last night's game, Florida's Joe Nieuwendyk was bored into retirement. Documented proof that such a thing can happen.

We lose yet another player from the NHL '93 team rosters.
They're dropping like flies.

....................

On to some games:

The Coyotes get shutout by Marty Turco 3-0.....Phoenix hasn't scored against Dallas in 196 minutes, 11 seconds. Janet Gretzky had the under.

Janet Gretzky...hahah

Devils win again... beating the Habs 2-1 in OT

Close your five hole, dude

The Capitals get a huge win against the Senators.
Hopefully Dany Heatley doesn't drive the team bus home.

"Hey it's me -- Dany Heatley. Least I didn't kill anyone this time."

Some late games of note...
A rematch of the Stanley Cup Finals has the Oilers winning 3-1 late in the third.
The Ducks are up 2-0 in the second over the Predators...(what is this, a predator blog?)

That's all, folks...

Huge game in the World's Most Famous Arena Thursday night.

Shades of Old NHL. PENS LOSE.

ESPN GAME RECAP

We ended up getting glorious seats for the game, 12 rows from the glass on the penalty-box side. B26.
The kind of seats mentioned in the Bible.

When I was in the Arena tonight, it didn't even feel like there was a Penguin game. It was a very eerie feeling...or maybe it's just that I don't hit up too many weekday games.

Erik Christensen (officially The Pensblog's "boy") got a puck past Florida goalie Alex Auld on the powerplay to give the Pens a rare 1-0 lead. Not to be outdone, the Panther's ageless wonder, Gary Roberts, scored on a jobber rebound to tie it up. Nice first period of hockey.

Sidney Crosby's herpes flare up in the second period

Jozef Stumpel scored for Florida with about seven minutes left in the second to make it 2-1. Then it hit me:
Wow, this game is boring.

....ZZZZZZZ....

Crosby scores on a great Sidney Crosby-esque goal. The only word to describe what his face looked like after that goal is "possessed".
Malkin had an excellent chance to give the Pens the lead a few moments after Crosby's goal, but it went just wide. The Arena would have erupted.

.....ZZZZZZ......

Terrible call on Dominic Moore.....

....Florida scores powerplay goal....

Wake up, game's over.

Stats

• Crosby: 1 G, 1 A
• Me: Order of Nachos
• Thibault: Another solid outing with 27 saves. Two of the goals weren't his fault; he can't stop the puck and box out the opposing team's forwards, too.
• Shots: FLA (30) PENS (27)

Miscellaneous

• Nasreddine looked a little nervous. Who wouldn't be?
• We have all this firepower on the top powerplay unit. Let them carry it in. Don't repeatedly dump-n-chase.
• Officiating was deplorable tonight. We don't make it a point to pee on referees on the Pensblog, but tonight's game is an exception. Horrible calls and no-calls.
• I'm figuring out that my game recaps are better when I'm in my boxers and a t-shirt, watching the game on my couch rather than physically being at the game.
• Pensblog runs their record to about 1-6-1 in attended Pens games this year. Ouch.

Special Thanks

• Stephanie S. - Super Pensblogal. At the top of Pensblog's Christmas List.
• Bryan Bell - For simply being the partner-in-crime on this fine evening.
• Dan The Man and Tami - Getting some ticketage for Pensblog.
• Lauren and Christy - Saving us from taking the bus back to Oakland.
• Tawm and Brett - For simply being Tawm and Brett.
  

Pensblog Burning

The first thing you must know is The Pensblog is a non-political website. We all have our beliefs but they will never be printed.
With that said, it is December 5th and we are 15 days away from the biggest day in Penguins history. And even though we hold no power, or persuading charm, we will not go down without a fight. People will have their beliefs, which is fine. But if you are going to stand against something (in this case the idea of Isle of Capri), make sure you have decent arguments.

First up in the moron convention is:

Jake Wheatley: State Rep for the Hill District
Hill District: Italian for 7th Circle of Hell

Hey it's me Jake Wheatley.

Here are Mr. Wheatley's views on the Casino situation.. straight from his website.
Some of his arguments:

• The Penguins and their gambling partner, Isle of Capri, haven't been willing to work with the community.
• He said they chose developer Nationwide Realty for community development work around a new arena and appointed members of their nonprofit development group, Pittsburgh First, without community input.
• He said residents and neighbors like Duquesne University have "compelling arguments why they don't want to see the casino [in the Hill District]."
• His mantra: "We will fight tooth and nail to make sure no gambling facility comes into my neighborhood," he said.

.........................................................

The following is the exact letter sent to Mr. Wheatley from the Pensblog Staff:

Dear Mr. Wheatley,

I hope this letter finds you and finds you well. I just wanted to ask you a few questions about your relentless attack on the Isle of Capri's plan to build a new arena near the lower Hill District. I can totally appreciate your passionate pleas; I respect a man who his not afraid to stick up for his cause. But unfortunately Mr. Wheatley, respect isn't something that I believe you deserve. You stand on your podiums and behind your microphones chanting about how you do not want a casino in your near your neighborhoods. Interesting, isn't it? You have said many times Pittsburgh doesn't do enough for the "hill", right? And you say this casino will bring crime, right? And it will further destroy your neighborhood? But it's okay if it's in the North Side or the South Side. The crime and overall degradation of society...it can happen everywhere but the Hill District? Mr. Wheatley, how big do you think Pittsburgh is? Do you know? How far is the Hill from the Southside? or the Northside? Is it that far where people won't be able to go? Do you think before you talk? For all the energy you have put into lobbying against the Isle of Capri casino, how come you haven't put the same energy into actually helping the Hill District? Or are people supposed to get shot everyday? Is that how it works?
Your statement in October of this year:

"People on the Hill don’t want the casino, especially not without significant concessions to the community that are currently lacking. The Isle of Capri proposal is the only one of the three in a residential area."

Oh, what tangled webs we weave, Mr. Wheatley.
Isle of Capri is also the only one promising to help the area. And how residential is the area? Could you please present some facts? Anything that doesn't come across as just whining?

And I know what you thinking. Wow big deal. The only reason this letter is here is because the Penguins ties to it. And you know what? Your damn right it is.
Your arguments are meaningless and ill-fated, and remember.....even if the Casino isn't in the Hill, it's going to be somewhere around Pittsburgh. You'd think if it were in your backyard you could work with them to better the situation. But instead you will just see it off. Because sadly, Mr. Wheatley, you care only about yourself, and you have to be right.

The time is near...so when are you actually going to make a decent argument without trying to suck up to voters?

The Pensblog Staff


P.S. I hope the intern you probably hired to read your email enjoys this letter, because he/she will be seeing it twice a day everyday until December 20th unless you take time out of your make-believe schedule to respond to us. The email is thepensblog@yahoo.com

...................................................

Want to cause a nice little fuss?
Copy and paste our letter, go to the website below...and e-mail this letter to him.
We've already done it three times.

http://www.pahouse.com/contact/contact_all.asp

Survivor: Hill District

...This post would have come sooner, but I passed out for 50 minutes after going through the roller-coaster ride of the last Heroes episode until January 22...

...Mark Madden speculated on his radio show Monday that Coach Michel Therrien may be voted off Hill District Island if he doesn't bring home a victory on Tuesday vs. Florida.
...Pens Message Board Nation has been going nuts all day, and the most frequent name we've heard in terms of a replacement would be Andy Murray.

The last I heard, Andy Murray was dancing to Whitney Houston's "I Wanna Dance With Somebody" in some nightclub.

Nice.

...If you're a Penguins fan, and you consider this blog as your top news source, you are a sad individual. Unless you've been dancing to Whitney Houston's "I Wanna Dance With Somebody" all day, you already know that Noah Welch was sent down to Wilkes-Barre.
The Pens called up Alain Nasreddine and Micki DuPont.

...No word on anyone claiming John LeClair today...

...NHL.com does a little story about the Atlantic Division. Pensblog did an Atlantic Division review on Sunday night. Coincidence? I think not...

...TSN.ca previewing Sidney-Ovechkin on December 11...

...Pensblog had a little hiccup in the Playoffs Goals tapes...They're coming, though...

Tales of Joe Starkey

Tribune-Review Sports columnist Joe Starkey was kind enough to let the Pensblog throw a few questions his way.
He's an excellent writer, one of our few favorites, but what appealed to us the most was his recent book "Tales from the Pittsburgh Penguins".

We're the biggest Penguins fans you could find...and we didn't even know this book was in circulation.

The Pensblog Book Club requests this one.
You can buy it at:

Amazon.com
SportsPublishingLLC.com
& Pittsburgh Area book stores.

........................................................

Q: What inspired you to write this book? How long did it take you to write it?

A: The company approached me, and since I'd been the Pens beat writer (Trib-Review) from 1997-2002, I thought it would be a fun project. Once I got into it, it turned out to be more fun than I expected, interacting with some of the true characters from Penguins history. It took about a year to do the book, and it was supposed to be on the shelves for the 2004-05 season. As we know, there was no 2004-05 season, so plans were put off. That turned out to be a break, because along came Sidney Crosby. A chapter was added specifically on his rookie year. Book just hit the shelves a month ago.

Q: Any stories that didn't make the cut? Your personal favorite?
A: Lots of stories didn't make the cut -- a few that cannot be printed here or elsewhere! My favorite story is the one about Bryan Watson stealing the team bus and taking it for a ride. Also, story about how Ed Westfall went out drinking with Pens after Game 7 of 1975 playoff series is a classic. Darius Kasparaitis getting arrested for Jay-walking and Jaromir Jagr wearing a dress are pretty good, too, along with team wearing blue ear muffs before a game against St. Louis and the electric atmosphere in the locker room before winning the Cup in 1991.

Q: If you could go back in time and play on one Penguins team for an entire season, which team would you choose?
A: Probably the 1992-93 team, because that was the best team in Penguins history (there's a story about that in the book) and I probably could have pushed it over the top (not). It really was the best team, though, and who wouldn't want a chance to play with one of the great assemblages of hockey talent ever formed? That team was an All-Star team which won an NHL-record 17 games in a row -- I think it was 17.

Q: As of today, chances in % of the Penguins staying in town...be 
honest with us, we can take it.
A: 60-75 percent I'd say, problem being that Isle of Capri is not going to 
win the Slots license and Jim Balsillie has no ties here. Things are 
going to get hairy, I believe, before politicians do the right thing and 
give Balsillie a very favorable Plan B. That's what it's going to take.
 
Q: Who wins a fight in a tag team battle: Bob Errey and Paul 
Steigerwald vs Mike Lange and the old 29-er?
A: Hmmm. Sounds like an even fight to me, though if you put a puck in the 
corner, I think I'd pick Mr. Errey to get it first (sorry, Borkie). 
 
Q: Are you married?  Kids?
A: Freshly married with an 11-year-old stepson. Me and him play "tinfoil" 
hockey on the living room floor. It's a game I invented (I think) 
growing up in Buffalo. You simply roll up a piece of tinfoil and whack it 
back and forth, trying to score. I am an incredible tinfoil hockey 
goaltender, though my stepson has learned to lift the puck and nearly took my 
eye out last night (which brings to mind a story in the book -- Andy 
Brown, the last mask-less goalie, played for Pens).

Q: What's your favorite aspect of Mellon Arena?
A: The silver roof. The sight-lines. The history.  You won't find many 
classic arenas in sports anymore. But it really is time for a new 
building.
 
Q: What's your favorite movie?
A: Other than Slapshot? Probably the Sound of Music, believe it or not, 
because my parents love it, and I remember it from my childhood. How's 
that for polar opposites -- Slapshot and the Sound of Music?

Q: What's the last thing you ate?
A: Oatmeal with strawberries.

Q: ESPN or Versus?
A: I'll take Versus. I think they're doing a great job. And thank goodness 
the game is watchable again.

Q: Do you like the Pensblog?
A: Yes, I like the passion of Penguins fans everywhere.

JOE STARKEY MAY BE HOLDING A BOOK SIGNING AT THE MELLON ARENA
BEFORE THE DECEMBER 13 GAME AGAINST PHILADELPHIA

Scenery Changes in Atlantic

...Law & Order Verdict: 54% say don't acquire Markus Naslund. 46% said yes.
Nearly 200 votes. Thanks everyone. Seriously. Thank You...

...No word on John LeClair being picked up by anyone yet. There are rumors that Chicago and Dallas may grab him up. They have until 12:00 noon on Monday...

...If you didn't catch Ovechkin's hit on Buffalo's Daniel Briere, here you are...

...Big news out of Edmonton as Ryan Smyth is out indefinitely with a fractured thumb...

...Don't look now, but Malkin's 24 points put him 35th in the NHL....

...Nobody is giving Crosby his correct three assists from Saturday night...

...Pensblog's 1991 and 1992 Penguins playoff goals are so close to being online that we can taste it.
It all depends on Google Video not shutting it down, even though their NHL video page says fans can make their own highlight tapes and submit them.
If these tapes don't constitute as highlight tapes, we don't know what would...

ATLANTIC DIVISION

The New York Islanders...yes, THOSE New York Islanders...are atop the Atlantic Division on this Sunday night in early December. They beat the Rangers tonight, 7-4.
Has Ted Nolan really made that big of a difference this season?
What I do know is that they were money on Saturday night.

The Rangers and Devils are one point behind them with 30 points each.

Penguins have 26 points...but are 1-3-1 in their last five games against the Atlantic.
IN EXCELLENT SHAPE considering what they looked like last year.

The Flyers are sneaking up with 20 points.

Islanders Solid. PENS LOSE.

ESPN GAME RECAP

Rick DiPietro earned his paycheck tonight.
The Pens threw 37 shots his way, but Ricky DeePee turned away 34.
A couple of those saves made me physically sick.
Pens lost again tonight. I'm starting to get the feeling that --
Whatever.

Pensblog was in attendance for this game. Section B2, behind Fleury twice.

The Islanders kicked off the scoring with Satan one-timing a cross-ice pass into the net.
About four minutes later, DiPietro was so mesmerized by Crosby's moves that he tripped over himself, leaving a wide open net for Colby Armstrong to bury it in.
Four minutes after that, Christensen got a puck past DeePee to give the Pens a 2-1 lead to end the first...and sending people into the first intermission feeling righteous.

A couple of jobber goals in the second period for New York, and the Pens wouldn't see the lead again. The third goal was especially vomit-inducing because Staal was getting hooked and slashed on a semi-breakaway right before that. Boos resonated in the Arena, and I bet the referees loved it.

Might as well get used to DiPietro. He'll be around for a while.
Like 15 years.

With the Islanders clinging to a 3-2 lead, and about 7 seconds after I told Derek we were gonna tie the game, Victor Kozlov scored on an egregious Penguins giveaway with about nine minutes left. It made the businessmen in the Igloo Club leave, but everyone else stayed.

With five minutes left in the game, a glimmer of hope surfaced when Mark Recchi found a way to get it past Ricky DeePee...and all of a sudden, the fans were in it.
That feeling lasted for about two minutes.
Rob Scuderi is a hell of a defenseman, but his (I think it was him) terrible pass was intercepted by the Islanders, and they raced back 3-on-1. Scuderi was the "1". He made a key play to break up a sure goal, but the Pens couldn't get a hold of the puck. Mike Sillinger found it and went top-shelf.
This game runs the Pensblog's record to 1-3-1 this season.
We're going Tuesday, too, so don't expect a win.

Stats

• Crosby: Websites are reporting he had 2 assists, but he had 3 tonight. Guaranteed.
  
• (NYI) Mike Sillinger: 24 Faceoffs Won...9 Faceoffs Lost
• Fleury: 30 saves
• Shots: NYI (35) PENS (37)

Miscellaneous

• ...And just when I started liking Ryan Whitney...
• The Islanders are a solid team. Even without Alexei Yashin.
• Heyyyyy....Penguins have gotten their act together and are finally showing replays on the JumboTron. It only took them 5 years.
• Speaking of which, I don't know what to make of that one play where the puck was on the goal0line and there was a big skirmish.
• Some guy had an Islanders Ziggy Palffy jersey on at the game.
• I'm probably missing a few things. I'm dead tired.

JOE STARKEY Q&A
SUNDAY SOMETIME

Devils Run Out The Clock. PENS LOSE

ESPN GAME RECAP




I couldn't post immediately after this game. Good thing, too.

I probably would have got kicked off blogspot.com for some of the expletives I would have thrown around.



Fluke goals for both teams.



Devils were up 5-2 and proceeded to do the hockey equivalent of running the clock out.

Boring as hell.



That's it.

Law & Order: Pensblog Unit

(The following story is based on rumors circulating about possible trade for Markus Naslund)
Click here for the source of the rumors.

Please vote at the bottom!
You're deciding.

In Pittsburgh, the crimes committed by general managers are considered especially heinous.
The dedicated bloggers who investigate these vicious felonies are part of an elite squad known as The Pensblog Unit.
These are their stories...

CAST


Derek Rocco - Defense

Andrew Beckett - Assistant Defense Counsel

Adam Caldwell - District Attorney

Chris and Gabe - Pensblog Detectives

The honorable Lance Ito - Presiding Judge


Snuffleupagus - Bailiff


Craig Patrick

Alex Stojanov

.................................................................

Pensblog detectives Chris and Gabe show up at the residence of Craig Patrick to issue a subpoena. Craig Patrick comes to the door, wearing only boxers and holding a ham sandwich.

Patrick: What do you guys want?
C & G: Mr. Patrick, may we have a word?
Patrick: I told you on the phone. I know nothing about the rumored Naslund trade.
C & G: This trade could crumble the Penguins' infrastructure.
Patrick: Not my problem.
C & G: We'll let a court of law decide that. Put some clothes on; you're goin' downtown.
Patrick: For what?
C & G: So you can finally look Markus Naslund's family in the eye.
Mike Lange: Book him, Dano.


Our story continues in the Allegheny County Courthouse where Judge Lance Ito presides over case number 3606: The People vs. The Penguins not bringing Markus Naslund back.

9:00 A.M.
Court is about to be in session.

Snuffleupagus: ALL RISE! The honorable Lance Ito presiding.
Judge Ito: (walks to his chair and stops) You in the back! Stand up!

I can't.

Judge Ito: Fine.
The rest of you can be seated.

Pittsburgh Penguins, you are charged with wanting to bring Markus Naslund back.
How do you plead?

Derek Rocco: We plead not guilty, your honor.
[ Crowd Gasps ]

Judge Ito: Fair enough. Prosecutor...your opening statement?
Adam Caldwell: Thank you, your honor.

People of the court and especially Pensblog readers, I address you tonight with a few points of interest in this case.

What case can I present to you that supports the theory that the Penguins should acquire Markus Naslund?

The Vancouver Canucks currently have a payroll of $43.4 million, barely holding beneath the $44 million salary cap. Markus Naslund accounts for $6 million of that. With goalie Robert Luongo bringing in $6.5 million per year for the next four years, what you see is a touchy situation in Vancouver. Roughly one-third of their cap room is taken up by two players. Naslund is currently in the second year of a three-year contract.
I know that salary cap talk makes people shudder in Pittsburgh, but would it be hard to rationalize the Pens having more spending money laying around now that Jim Balsillie is the owner of the Penguins?
The Pens could be in great shape by acquiring an accomplished left winger to play with Malkin or Crosby while maybe getting rid of Ryan Malone and/or an Erik Christensen type of player.
Finally, might I add that Markus Naslund scored 164 goals from 2000-2005...the most in the National Hockey League?

Judge Ito: Thank you, Mr. Caldwell.
Mr. Rocco, your opening statement?
DR: Thank you, your honor

Ladies and Gentlemen of the jury. Judge Ito.
You know hockey is a special sport. Unlike any sport in the world. One trade can define not only your team for that season, but also in the seasons to come. Hockey is not about drawing up plays and learning 4,000 routes and audibles. It’s a game of raw skill and talent molded together with the pursuit of greatness, and the want and determination to be the best. Is it wrong to want to be the best?
I didn’t think so.

Hockey, over the years, has made the theatre of trades oh so dramatic. Everybody thinks one great player and you're on the way to Lord Stanley’s Cup. The culture has encouraged the typical message board fan to search and yearn for the big trade...and that’s why we are here today: The case of Mr. Markus Naslund.
I am here to tell you why you cannot have Marcus Naslund back; why it would be a huge mistake.
I could tell you he makes almost $6 million per year and will want an increase in cash money when he becomes an unrestricted free agent after the 07-08 season.
I can tell you that you are going to have to part with good, young talent to get him.
I can tell you that he went to Magician Summer Camp and learned how to disappear in the playoffs.
I can tell you all of this, but you already know.
Thank you.

..............

Judge Ito: Prosecution, call your witness.
AC: Your honor, the state calls Alex Stojanov to the stand.
Judge Ito: Who?
AC: The player traded for Naslund in 1996.
Judge Ito: He's still alive? Proceed...

[ Stojanov at the witness stand ]
Snuffleupagus: Raise your right hand, and place your left hand on Joe Starkey's new book, "Tales from the Pittsburgh Penguins," on sale at Amazon.com

Do you swear that the testimony you're about to give is the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help you Mario?

Stojanov: I do.
AC: State your full name for the court.
Stojanov: Alex Stojanov
AC: What is your current profession?
Stojanov: I work at Sparkle Car Wash on the corner of --
DR: Is this relevant, your honor?

Judge Ito: Get to the point, prosecutor.

AC: You're a bum, Stojanov. How many goals did you score?
Stojanov: Two, sir.
AC: No, not in 1996. In your whole career.
Stojanov: Two, sir.
AC: Wow. That's pathetic. Do you feel that you and Markus Naslund are interchangeable?
Stojanov: No, sir. But I can wash cars better than he can.
AC: That's not what I asked. Were the Penguins fairly compensated in that 1996 trade?
Stojanov: No, sir.
[ People Gasp ]

AC: One final question to show you have no allegiance to Pittsburgh...
Gretzky or Mario?
Stojanov: Gretzky, undoubtedly.
AC: No further questions.

Judge Ito: Mr. Rocco, your witness.


DR: Mr. Stojanov, you were a first round draft pick, eh?
Stojanov: Yea, what's it to ya?
DR: Well you could of been the next big thing.
Stojanov: I didn't pan out. Nothing I can do.
DR: I beg to differ, Your Honor in my hand is exhibit 68 Mr. Beckett please..
Beckett: In this folder it you will find the real reason Mr. Stojanov failed to meet his potentional

Judge Ito: Ew don’t you have Aids.
DR: Yea that is sick.. But moving forward your honor
AC: Objection! You can't do this!
Judge Ito: I am interested. Please tell
DR: Mr. Stojanov would you like tell the court?
Stojanov: Tell them what?
DR: THE TRUTH!
Stojanov: YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH! YOU WANT IT?
DR: ALL OF IT!
Stojanov: Son, we live in a world that has boards, and those boards have to be guarded by men with hockey sticks. Whose gonna do it? You? You, Alexandre Daigle? I have a greater responsibility than you could possibly fathom. You weep for Naslund, and you curse the fourth liners. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know; that the Naslund trade, while tragic, probably won hockey games. And my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, wins hockey games. You don't want the truth because deep down in places you don't talk about in the press box, you want me on that ice, you need me on that ice. We use phrases like jobber, cheap goals, and wrister. We use these words as the backbone of a life spent defending the top lines of other teams. You use them as a story on your little blog. I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a man who couldn’t battle in the corner for a puck. I would rather you just said thank you, and went on your way. Otherwise, I suggest you drop the gloves, and dance. Either way, I don't give a damn what you think.

DR: No further questions your honor..

...................................

Judge Ito: This is more screwed up than the O.J trial. Defense, would you like to call a witness?

DR: Your Honor, the defense calls Mr. Craig Patrick to the stand.

Snuffleupagus: Do you swear on the good name of Badger Bob to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help you Mario?
CP: I do.

DR: Please state your name for the court

CP: Craig Patrick.
DR: Mr. Patrick, how many Stanley Cups did you win?
CP: Two.
DR: You helped USA hockey win a gold medal in the 1980 Olympics against the USSR. Correct?
CP: Yes, it was actually called the “Miracle on Ice”.
DR: Yes, Mr. Patrick, I know. Please stick to the questions.
CP: Yea, sorry.
DR: So it is safe to say you are a fairly good judge of hockey talent in the world?
CP: The Best.
DR: Mr. Patrick, please explain the events of March 20, 1996...

CP: Sure thing. I got a call from the GM of Vancouver Pat Quinn, and he said he had some jobber who could protect some of my guys; we were going for a Cup baby! I had to do something.

DR: So what did you do, Mr. Patrick?
CP: I traded Markus Naslund for him.
DR: Was Naslund underwhelming you with his play?
AC: Objection! Come on! He is leading the witness!
Judge Ito: This is a court of law, gentlemen. Objection sustained.
DR: Fine. Let me rephrase. Did Markus Naslund suck?
CP: He was horrible. He couldn’t score, he couldn’t pass, he was a whiner, we did not think he would pan out.
DR: Do you regret the trade?
CP: No!
[ People Gasp ]
Naslund isn’t that great, he is overpaid, and isn’t getting any better. He is played out; done. He got to his peak, and I am not impressed.
Mr. Regular season...9 career playoff goals? What a joke.
DR: No further questions your honor.

Judge Ito: Prosecution, your witness.

AC: Mr. Patrick.
CP: Yes?
AC: Did I hear something earlier about you being a purveyor of world-class hockey talent?
CP: Yes, I am.
AC: Oh, really?
Your honor, the prosecution wishes to call a few rebuttal witness to the stand.
DR: I object. These witnesses weren't on the list.
AC They are being brought in specifically to refute direct testimony of a witness.
Judge Ito: You stole that from A Few Good Men, but proceed.
AC: State calls Konstantin Koltsov, Kris Beech, Rico Fata, John LeClair, Ross Lupaschuk, Jani Rita ---
DR: Your honor, this parade of witnesses will do nothing but solidify the insanity of Mr. Caldwell.
AC: Your honor, we are just proving our evaluation of Craig Patrick's GM Skills.
Judge Ito: Will all witnesses testify that they suck?
AC: Yes, your honor.
Judge Ito: Put that on the record. Any more questions?
AC: No, but Mr. Patrick....
CP: Yes?
AC: [ shakes hand ] Thanks for the 1991 and 1992 Stanley Cups.
No further questions.

......................................................

CLOSING ARGUMENTS

DR: Ladies and Gentlemen, you have the facts now. And as you can see, Markus Naslund is not worth the trade. If we could unload some jobbers for him, fine. But is he worth even a draft pick? Is he worth giving up Jordan Staal? The very thing that Mr. Naslund supporters gripe about is that Craig Patrick supposedly mortgaged the future by getting rid of him. Well, if that really is the case, would you want your boy Ray Shero to do the same?
I told you about the sugarplums the D.A would feed you. The goals. The great talent. All I can say is don’t listen to your heart. Listen to your head on this one, folks. Good luck and God bless.

AC: Short and sweet. Balsillie is here. Money is here. Our pool of young talent will do us some more good than them just banging chicks in Wilkes Barre/Scranton.
Ouellet, Malone, and Draft Pick for Naslund.
This case for me is cake.
Money in the bank.
Good Luck and Mario Bless.

....................................

Your turn, Pensblogites

Should the Penguins acquire Markus Naslund?
Yes
No
Current results