Thursday, September 21, 2006

Pro-Set Hockey Cards didn't even bother with spelling his name right.
This autographed card is worth about 11 cents.

Look I like Phil Bourque.
He was a role player on a team that needed some goons.
His career stats indicate as much.
He scored some big goals for the Pens.
He scored the first goal that started the comeback against the Blackhawks in Game One of the 1992 Stanley Cup Finals.


Let's face it: Not since the guy from Reading Rainbow has someone done more with less.




Side note: that same guy was this guy on Star Trek.

Anyway, Bourque does an OK job in the booth.
He’s a decent human being.
But his commercial for the Penguins is the most unintentional comedic performance since Wolf “The Dentist” Stanson in Mighty Ducks 2.

“Show me the moves your daddy taught you, or was it that old geezer over there.”

Sorry. Back to Bourque.
How did he get the job of making that commercial?
Couldn’t we have hired an actor? There has to be some hometown guys. Michael Keaton had to be around.
Could you imagine the guys editing the commercial?
Editing Guy 1: Oh Jesus you can tell he’s drunk
Editing Guy 2: Wait, wait for it…. OK play the part when he says that part about the 20 guys laying it on the line.
Editing 1: Oh man this is priceless. How mad do you think Tom McMillan is going to be?
Editting2: Oh wow look how he is looking into the camera. Is he gay? Why does he look so intense?

When I first saw this commercial, I was stunned. It sounds like the boom mike is in the other room. I don’t remember feeling worse for someone.
I am demanding this commercial be removed.
Do you see the look in Bourque's eyes? You can almost see him dying inside. He has the charisma of a 6th grade piano teacher.
I mean this might need its own blog at one point.

End the evolution..

Please.

Oh and you can't tell me Ken Sawyer doesn't look like Jeff Daniels.


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